Things can get better.

Hey thats awesome! thank you for the submission and i totally encourage for anyone else with tips to chime in!

Im really sorry to hear that... I can relate to a degree, but I solved it by moving out and not telling them, lol. I know this isnt an option for most, so I think your best bet is finding some friends (irl) in the LGBT community that you can always talk to or go to if anything does backfire. You should maybe google some youth/LGBT support organisations in ur area, incase anything goes sour, and try just keep your chin up, cus it sounds pretty crappy.

I wouldnt stay in that house forever, if u have the otion to leave. Microagressions from shitty transphobic things can do a lotta harm to u :/

Honestly, yeah, its not great that you feel that way because what anyone else wants to do with their identity is really none of your business, and you shouldn’t get angry at someone else for being comfortable with themselves.

That being said, I understand your frustration but your anger shouldn’t be aimed towards the fact that a lot of people are happy with themselves. The greater problem is toxic masculinity, baby!

You and a lot of other men, cis AND trans, are uncomfortable with the idea of another man presenting feminine in any way cus it seems to undermine ur own masculinity, even though in a greater scope it has NOTHING to do with you ! In fact all it does is open the rest of society to the idea that a man can look like anything and wear anything!

I also sometimes feel a deep jealousy for when trans mascs wear feminine clothing, but my concern is more “Damn, when will i ever feel this comfortable with my masculinity that i can pull this off as well as he can...”

#MenNeedFeminismToo!

well first of all, ur gonna have to try to ignore your mum for now. that sucks that shes not supportive, but older generations rarely totally understand.

and as for the dysphoria... thats completely relateable, it sucks. if you are lucky enough to be an adult and live in a country/state that supports trans people, you should definitely seek out some kind of community or help.

it sounds like you need  some trans friends or community to feel safe in, share tricks for dysphoria, and other general stuff. maybe even online forums.

i know you can get through this, and the world is moving towards accepting trans people as a norm! if you need to come back to talk more, ill be here.

personally, i feel like i kinda relate to this a lot, and im really sorry i cant help very much with an answer with what to do regarding the army stuff.

i dont think theres really a problem with “rushing” transitioning, imo. i think its totally normal for a trans/nb person, esp. when finally coming out, realise people other than themselves support their choice in identity! so it makes total sense to wanna take action to transitioning while people support you! be that hormones or legal name changing or whatever!

the army issue seems more limiting… i also live in a country where theres bad hormonal services for trans folk (but luckily, decent services for legal changes). i honestly dont know what to do about that. i hope you find some comfort knowing that ur not alone, and were all part of shitty and broken systems… and were gonna get through it together!! (muscle arm emoji)

How old is she? To me, it sounds like shes just really oblivious and not aware of why this hurts you, and you obviously have every reason to be hurt as well. I mean, if you and her get along with eachother, it would be nice to just talk her through it and really let her understand why what she did is not okay, it atleast sounds like she just doesnt understand.

For some reason, I wasn’t notified when this was sent, for which I’m sorry!

Regarding the dreams; dreams can represent a whole lotta stuff, but keep in mind that it’s often a stew of thoughts and backround noise in your brain. It doesn’t define your surface thoughts at all.

Just like intrusive thoughts, dreams aren’t reflective of your morals or what’s actually true; I had a dream where I hugged a goat until it exploded the other night.

I totally get how you feel; for the first year or so of working out my own gender stuff, I mostly identified as nonbinary. The best piece of advice that I can give you for this is that working something like this out takes time; there’s no shame in changing your identity over time, and working out who you are. I promise you’ll figure out what makes you the most comfortable in time.

When it comes to dysphoria, it’s really a matter of what helps alleviate it. If you feel a stronger connection to identifying as male, then it won’t hurt to investigate it and experiment. Focus on what makes you feel more comfortable with yourself!

I’m so sorry this hasn’t been answered, there’s been some problems with the blog and while I saw this, I’ve been dealing with stuff and didn’t know how to respond.

I really understand where you’re coming from, dysphoria tends to just seep into your life and things like birth control can easily make you feel bad. For what it’s worth, I promise that you are who you are: men or nonbinary people can take birth control, but that doesn’t make them any less themselves. Your body is your own, and people who gender your body from a place of misinformation are wrong. It’s perfectly normal for you to take birth control, or any other things that people assume are for ‘women’ when it’s really not that simple.

As for depression, please feel free to message me anytime and I’d love to talk to you. I’ve dealt with a lot of depression stuff and I can offer some advice! It’s hard to give specific advice like this, but, I promise that if you keep at it, and do your best to survive, things will work out. A big thing that I always kept in mind in my worst years was that things can get better. I hope you’re doing okay, and again, I’m so sorry I didn’t respond sooner. If you want to talk anytime, I’ll respond much faster next time!

I’m so sorry for you having to wait for so long for this to be answered!  

Before anything, I’ll start off by saying I’m not trans male myself, but I do know how this feels, to be misgendered based on things that you do around people you’re out to.  

In my personal experience, the best thing to do is wait it out as you insist that you know what you’re talking about, and that you know what you want for yourself.  What I had done, was come out to all my friends before I came out to my family, so I knew that I had the support I needed before I went up to my mother and informed her about myself.  With the support of friends ensuring me that they know who I was, and that I was a woman through and through, along with the fact I was actively pushing my mother’s stubbornness, I was able to at least get some common ground between the two of us, and I can only hope that goes for you as well!  

As for the name… I’m not quite sure how to deal with that, other than having others call you by your preferred name until you can either convince your parents to let you change your name legally, or you wait out until you’re 18 years old and change it yourself.

I do hope this came as of help to you at all, I really do apologize if it didn’t though!!!  Most of what I spoke of is personal experience, as this is what it seems to be what your situation caters to, so I hope that is fine with you!

Best of wishes, hugs and kisses!