The Lizard

    she had always thought, deep down inside, that they had been right about her. that she was a villain, a murderer. cold-blooded. cruel. her temper and rage had gotten the better of her, and no matter what her intentions were, she had killed someone. no, not someone– she had killed her best friend. her brother. that he lived and breathed in front of her didn’t matter. she had still killed him. 

    “ yes. ” she whispered, looking away from him. looking away from those eyes that bore into her soul. “ i do think that. i think that all the time. that i am what they say i am. a villain. a murderer. a monster. that deep down inside, no matter how much i try to be better– i could still let my anger get the better of me. i could still go too far. i could still kill someone again. ” 

    a tear ran down her cheek, and she wiped it away quickly before looking at him. her symbiote felt– well, it felt upset. angry at this admittance. at this display of weakness, and vulnerability to something that should be her enemy. something she should be fighting. the inner turmoil was strong. “ but i’m trying, peter. i almost killed harry, i could have killed him. and it was getting to a point where it was kill or be killed. i wanted to kill murdock, and the inheritors and everyone else who has hurt me or the people i love. but i haven’t. i’ve resisted. ”

    “ what you did doesn’t make me your friend? ” she laughed, and was scared at how cold it sounded. how high it was. “ peter– you did nothing to me. you barely even scratched me. i killed you. i kicked, and punched and beat you until your heart couldn’t take it and you died in my arms. ” 

    “ i should be your enemy. but i’m not going to be. not anymore. i won’t try to stop you, or treat you like some monster or freak. i’m not about to kill peter parker again. ” 

     “you may have no choice, but to kill me.” ironic, truly that he’d use such words, but he already knew it would happen again. he’d either get too wild or get too angry. he’d lash out and hurt her. he’d become a threat and he’d end up right back to where he started from. 

       an endless circle because peter parker couldn’t get a happy ending. not here at least, maybe if he went some where else he could get one or... maybe not. he wasn’t too sure. what he did want was something more. something else. something that maybe meant a new start for him.

     “i’m not like harry and i’m not like the peter parker you killed.” he was, but he wasn’t. not entirely at least. he knew he was, but also that there was something else there. something more... feral. something else, but he couldn’t place his finger on t.

      “i’m something new. something that i haven’t even figured out yet,” he said, pausing for a moment. “i suppose we both have changed - not just in looks. i...” he trailed off for a moment, shaking his head. “i was threatening others. i could have killed everyone... you thought i was just some freak and for a while maybe you were right.”

Tongue shot out; licking scaled lips. A simple action, one he’d done before, but never around someone else. Never this close. Never near someone who wasn’t his latest meal. If he was in a better mood, he would have said something along the lines of him being ‘busy’ or that he wasn’t the ‘mood’ to deal with anyone, but for now? All he could do is focus on the hunger. He hadn’t ate properly in days and while he would have enjoyed a usual pizza? He wasn’t in the mood to deal with it. Not today. He wanted something more fresh. More bloody.

    when she had first found out that he was alive, it was like a breath of fresh air. a weight off of her shoulder. the years of guilt and mourning had taken their toll on her, and it was nice to be able think ‘ oh thank god, i didn’t kill him ’. but at some point, she had to realize that just because he was alive and breathing didn’t mean she hadn’t killed peter parker. or what had been left of him, after the years of bullying. 

    “ you have to do what’s right for you. ” she finally said, not looking up at him. even if it hurt to say, everything she said was what she believed. if remembering their past, their memories was too painful then it was the best option. “ i’m not going to try to stop you. i just want you to be happy. ”

     “ i don’t think that’s possible. ” at least, it wasn’t to him at the current time. being happy meant that he’d have to move past what happened. to accept the new ‘life’ he had, but did he want to? no, not really. he didn’t want to accept anything. all he wanted to do was be like he was before - no, to be more than before. 

     a reason to why he thought leaving was the best way for him. to move on and forget what he was before - if such a thing was even possible. if it was? well, maybe it would be good for him, but if not? well, he tried - most likely he’d be back in a week anyways to the sewers eating anything that he came across.

    “ of course she isn’t like me. and of course you aren’t like my peter. despite the similarities in the different universes.. i’m sure there are differences. ” that was the point of the theory of the multiverse, after all. or at least, that was how it had been explained to her. 

    moving her hand from his shoulder to his scaly cheeks, gwen looked into his eyes as she spoke softly, “ you may not know who you are, but i can see it in you eyes. you’re still peter parker. ”

      “many differences,” he mutters out lowly, trying his best to stay still, and not move away. to be near her. to actually look at her... even if every fiber of his being wanted him to run away. to hide and get away from her; to ensure that he didn’t hurt her. not that he could to begin with, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t for some reason whatsoever should it lead to that.

“not anymore.”

+ “ Try me. I’ve believed a lot. “ Slowly moving off the wall she’d crawled down from, Mary Jane kept her eyes trained solely on the being before her. If there was one thing Peter had insisted on her time and time again, it was to never take her attention off of someone she considered a threat. Specifically, look at the hands. For now, however, the other didn’t seem to stand too much of a threat.

She only hoped it would stay that way.

“ So talk. “

“i’m looking for... “ he trailed off for a moment, taking a step back, “someone who might be able to help me. you don’t trust me, i get that, really - i have nowhere else to go. just let me...” his tongue shot out, licking his lips for a moment, “explain, please. i’m not a monster. i’m just - i just look like one.”

one chance. that’s all he was giving her. one chance to make it right. to make it up to him.

she just hoped she didn’t fuck it up again. 

    taking a deep breath, she stepped forward to hug him. it was a different sort of hug, one she wasn’t used to. he was a lot taller now than he was before, and it wasn’t as easy to wrap both of her arms around his midsection. but it was still a hug, and she still poured as much warmth and love into it as she could. 

    “ i promise you, peter. just harry and i for now, until we figure out what else we need. ” when she pulled away, she cupped his cheeks in her hands. “ i won’t let you down. not again. ” never again.

       the hug was... interesting. he hadn’t had one in so long that he didn’t know what to do. he didn’t remember, but his arms moved around  to squeeze her slightly. he’d seen it before... on the street with a parent doing the same  gesture to a  young child. maybe once, he had the same gesture done to him - by someone else. another time. perhaps another life.

        change was inevitable -it couldn’t be avoided. it wouldn’t be avoided and all the same? it was needed. now, even more so - with her. the very person who went too far, but now since he was back... since things didn’t have to be so different anymore? maybe... just maybe things could go back to how they were before, but better.

         “one chance,” he said once again, eyes closing tightly. “just the two of you. the more that know... the more that realize...” no, it wasn’t something he needed to think about - not now and not ever. not unless it was necessary.

A slight chuckle escaped his lips.

❝ Or maybe.... you don’t even know what i’m talking about. ❞

❝ There is still an eighteen percent chance of success. I believe that the risk is within limits given the... reward that I am after. ❞ 

She knew that voice, and as much as she didn’t want to believe it, she knew that she’d messed up. Where’s Cap when you need her.

“H-how are… I… I watched you…” It takes her so long to get her words out, to even think of a proper question to ask, her mind racing with all the possibilities. “I didn’t… I-I didn’t kill…” Mysterio? It had to be, it- there’s no way. No way this is real. “Either you’re not real, or you are really bad at jokes…”

Teeth barred at the other. 

Of course, of course she would say that she watched him die. He did die and nothing changed that. He died and he came back - he healed. Did no one look for him? Did no one even care? Maybe. Maybe not. He wasn’t sure. 

How could he ever be sure...

“Oh, I am very real - shall we go over the last few moments, Gwen? Shall we go through how Peter Parker died? How you killed him in cold blood without a second thought?”

Should he have been taunting her? No, of course not, but was he? Yes. It appeared he was and he wasn’t going to let up now.