Bunk Sun

If they don’t show up today or this week (why do people know or care anyway, seriously) I don’t believe them anymore. I don’t think I can wait another year or something because someone has ADHD. It’s not worth my life? That’s something else. You know you can’t just have an opinion. I don’t identify like that. It’s a rape culture thing. Sense of humor isn’t for sale? Yeah I think it’s too offensive. The information I have needs to not be relevant and I have to do it all over again? I didn’t do anything wrong and people are like really being stupid. I’m not living through it not to have rights. I think the point is that I don’t exist. I don’t think there is a good reason why. I’m not going to be able to go back to work and I have nowhere to live. I can’t ask for help. I am worried about my relatives. I can’t lie. I’m not protecting fugitives. I don’t want to watch movies anymore. I don’t want to be in pain. I don’t want to get raped. I have no self control. It’s not about human rights. There is no protection or accountability. I can’t think about these people anymore. I didn’t know I was going to be thinking about them anymore. I don’t want to just be with an old person. I don’t think acting is about me. It isn’t my choice. I don’t feel represented. I take it really personally. I don’t think they are allowed to participate. My first instinct isn’t to compare anyone to a pedophile. I’m going to get evicted from my room and my stuff is going to get thrown away. It will be like I don’t exist anymore. I don’t want to talk to my abuser. They should be in jail. You’re not directing a tv show. I’m not okay with getting distracted. I’m not okay with paying closer attention. I’m not okay with trying to understand fascism. I’m not okay with doing therapy for my rapist. I don’t want to get to know these people. I don’t think suicide is a joke. That’s all it would be. They are experiencing that for the first time, yeah. I’m not entertainment. They don’t have to be afraid of kids. It’s not about waiting for them to get married and settle down. I don’t even want to know. You have proof that I can empathize and I have proof that it’s not my fault. I don’t want to know about public opinion. You’re a disgusting person. You think I don’t believe fascists exist? I don’t believe there is a future like this. I don’t want to wait. I don’t know but it doesn’t feel like anyone respects me and I don’t think going to a mental hospital is safe! I don’t want anyone to make those decisions for me and I need money! You’re not asking any questions.

Explain music? Explain art? Explain race or racism? It’s not like anybody else can understand and I can’t understand. Rapists should go to jail. I’m not a robot. I don’t want to start over. You don’t know or care enough about my life to be included. I don’t think you can force me to make every single decision for you about your mental illness and then erase gay and trans identity from the record. Specific to my existence? Like I have the option of lying? No! Stereotypes don’t protect me from being discriminated against. What does anybody know about that? It’s like just fascist. I’m not trying to get disgusted by myself or others. That’s not what it’s about. No one has any helpful science context for gayness or transness like this. I can’t make a point if you think my feelings don’t matter. I don’t understand why you are getting away with it. A concentration camp in my brain? And you’re like someone knows that I’m gay and trans? It doesn’t feel like that. Technically you could ask and you have proof. This isn’t sex work. I didn’t offer. Use your brain. No, I don’t think rapists are cool. I don’t want to share rape. You’re disgusting. I can’t help you. Don’t take it personally except to excuse yourself from physical contact. How do you know that I’m gay and trans if you don’t believe it exists at all? It’s not your decision! It’s not a choice! I am using a label to make more sense to more people. You won’t let me identify with myself at all. That’s official right now? I can’t benefit from it? Duh. You’re not in charge. I don’t think we are friends and you shouldn’t talk to kids. I’m not being friendly; you just aren’t trying to understand. Yeah I don’t think physical abuse is communication. I’m talking about it? No, it’s self defense. I don’t know what this all has to do with just trans and gay people. I don’t know that much history except to say fascism is definitely not okay. This is helping? To just put it into words? No, and you can’t prove it or take credit. I don’t know who you are because you lied. Intolerance doesn’t make you strong. Violence doesn’t compare to vulnerability. I’m not a fan of yours. You don’t have an excuse to be a serial killer. Stop giving away my information. I’m not a computer. I need to talk to a real person. You’re Nazis in a room using a computer. I don’t know what can be done about it and I don’t think telling everybody that it’s one thing and not knowing for sure is the right burden to bear considering all of my other responsibilities. Why are you doing this? I hate these movies anymore. Inception? You are joking! That’s not fair! I’m not employed. I don’t work for them. Original inspiration is about trauma? No. I’m not saying I know why they made all of their artistic decisions it’s just not conclusive evidence or mental health treatment or complicit. Sadism? I’m not going to have an opinion about that. I don’t think consequences for rape and abuse are activism. What do you mean that people believe me and they think I will kill myself? Why do people think that at a certain point it’s okay to assume that will happen? I’m confronting you. It’s a rhetorical question. You’re not stupid. Or whatever? I don’t know. What am I arguing for? I need my information more than you do. Criminals don’t make the rules. I’m not going to remember faces and names? In the context of? Fascism. That’s what it means. Am I doing it? No, I’m not. It’s not my art. I think you’re a pedophile and we don’t deserve to understand you personally because that’s the only way and it’s some additional priority to you. I feel like a hostage. I think you’re making it artsy and that’s gross. I need to explain it and that’s not an easy thing to do because I don’t have context for conflict and abuse.

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What about the effort, what about my personal opinion of myself and my interpretation and confidence? Wdym. Painful.

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They just can’t make an excuse. (No.)

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You’re done understanding. Improvise your mental health at least. Seriously. Ignore me.

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It’s not an “option”. It’s literally not opinion-based! (Peace.)