Please could I get he/him and Star done? I'm a genderfluid lesbian who sometimes uses he/him, and it's super frustrating when people say he/him lesbians aren't valid. I'm also a pan lesbian (I use the SAM) and people often invalidate that too, so could I have validation for those two things? Sorry if you only do gender-based validations.
This blog was originally made for gender-based validations, yes, but I don’t see why I couldn’t include stuff about sexuality as well. You are a whole entire person, after all--your lesbian identity, your he/him pronouns, and your pan identity are all very important to you, just as your genderfluid identity is. If you need validation for those parts of you, then I’m more than willing to give it.
That being said--Hello, Star! Your lesbian identity doesn’t have to conflict with your pan identity or your he/him pronouns. The most wonderful thing about being LGBTQ+ is realizing and accepting that you are capable of being many different things, things that may at first seem contradictory or strange, even impossible. There’s so much joy in discovering that all the arbitrary rules society imposes on gender and sexuality are just that--arbitrary. There are no hard-and-fast boundaries on LGBTQ+ identities, because being LGBTQ+ is about allowing yourself to exist beyond boundaries. If your identity as a genderfluid pan lesbian that uses he/him pronouns sometimes makes you happy, and it is fulfilling and meaningful to you, then that’s what really matters.
Lesbians have long felt estranged from traditional concepts and expressions of sexuality and gender; as a he/him lesbian, a nonbinary lesbian, and a multi-attracted lesbian, you most certainly are not alone. In the old days, in fact, a part of the LGBTQ+ community was called “bykes”, short for bi dykes. Multi-attracted lesbians are not new to the LGBTQ+ community, despite what some people may tell you. You are not an intruder to the lesbian community or invading lesbian spaces by being a pan lesbian. Nor are you doing so by being a he/him lesbian or a genderfluid lesbian. Pronouns are just another way to refer to people without using their names, after all--in a way, it’s just like wearing more masculine clothes, a way to express yourself in a gendered manner.
So no, if I were to introduce you to my friends, I would see absolutely nothing wrong with saying “This is Star! He’s a genderfluid pan lesbian, and he’s a wonderful person!” You don’t need to fit in the boxes that other people have built for you. Do you contradict yourself? Very well, then, you contradict yourself! You contain multitudes!
