the lily

Indigo’s reveal that she wanted this to be a date didn’t scare Aspen. In fact, it caused a small butterfly to take flight in the depths of her bottomless stomach. “I’m not scared,” she spoke in a soft tone, looking up at Indigo from beneath her full lashes. When the vulnerability caught up to her, she cleared her throat and then straightened her spine. “I never get scared. I’m tough like that…” Turning her tone to teasing, she then playfully grasped Pinnacle’s snout to prevent his impending chomp. 

But then her hand was free. And so was Indigo’s. And their two free hands could so easily join in the offered clasp that they both desired. Kicking herself, Aspen wondered why she was so awkward as she stared at Indigo’s hand. The same hand that had already explored her most intimate areas and brought her pleasure. What was so intimidating about holding someone’s hand, she asked herself? Though as she stared at Indigo for an indefinite amount of time, she was only snapped out of it by the older woman placing an order for the two of them. Get your shit together, Aspen. This is elementary. So without another beat, Aspen’s hand surged forward and grabbed Indigo’s – perhaps a bit forcefully. Like there had been a lot of momentum and force behind the action; which there had been. 

Awkwardly, Aspen chuckled to herself and then dipped her gaze in bashfulness. “Want to go find a table?” She asked, suddenly self-conscious and wondering if her heart palpitations could be felt through their now-joined hands. Oh god, what if she started to sweat?

-

indigo couldn’t help the way her smile widened at aspen’s assurance that she wasn’t scared - it only made the blonde seem more vulnerable and indigo found herself very much drawn to that side of her. “everyone’s scared sometimes,” she assured the other with a playful shake of her hand, but she admired the way aspen wanted to protect herself. it was a trait indigo often displayed, as well. 

and then suddenly she felt the force of aspen’s hand grasping onto her own, and she quickly glanced down at their union - her smile only grew. the woman’s hand was warm, and she could feel the blood flowing through it. indigo maneuvered her fingers so that they interlocked with the blonde’s, pulling the woman closer to her just slightly in appreciation at the contact. “come on,” she motioned with her head, leading aspen deeper inside the cafe and finding a spot in the back for two. she set pinnacle down on the ground, holding his leash as she allowed him to sniff the ground at his paws. “so how have you been? i mean - since i saw you last.” the teacher offered with a slightly smug grin, crossing one leg over the other.

Aspen faltered as she looked down at Indigo’s hand, which had grazed the back of her own. That was strange, she thought to herself. How just a mere touch could make Aspen nearly jolt backwards. Was that supposed to be romantic? The electricity they talked about in books and movies? To Aspen, it felt like the dangerous kind – the kind of zap you get when you plug your old, faulty hair dryer into the socket and it gives a brief spark that makes you wonder if you’re about to fry. She’d never experienced it in the form of a person before. That made Indigo dangerous. But Aspen had always tended to follow danger. “Do you want it to be?” She pressed back stubbornly, not liking to be the one to reveal sensitive information first. She needed to get a feel for how the other person was interpreting the situation first, always. Luckily, Pinnacle was a good distraction as she waited with baited breath for Indigo’s answer, as the puppy was beginning to chew Indigo’s hand. Aspen reached up to divert his shark-like fangs with a small smile. He was so cute and chaotic. Much like herself.

Catching the wink thrown her way as Pinnacle forfeited Indigo’s hand in a new desire to make her own his new chew toy, Aspen felt her heart leap but didn’t let it show outwardly. “Good,” she answered confidently. “Because I only have thirty-two cents to my name and didn’t think we’d make a quick dine and dash with this one on our heels,” she nudged Pinnacle’s snout.

-

indigo was quite used to pinnacle’s bites and nips at this point that she hardly noticed when his little incisors began to teeth at her hand. she snickered softly at aspen’s question, eyes moving from the menu to aspen’s own dark blue ones in amusement. “i really want to say yes, but i’m doing so well and i’d hate to scare you off.” indigo teased, though she’d given her answer clearly - at least she’d hoped it was clear. “unless i’m not doing so hot; then i am by all means willing to ruin it.” she added in a joke, tapping the puppies nose lightly in scolding as he chomped playfully at aspen’s fingers.

but she wanted to leave it open to interpretation; she didn’t want to make it anything aspen didn’t want it to be, so the brunette was more than happy to let the blonde fill in the blanks when she was ready. and to take her hand should she want it. “i promise, i moisturize.” indigo giggled to herself in hint, holding a hand up and wiggling it suggestively. when it was their turn to order, indigo put hers in ( as well as a small pupchino for pinnacle ) and looked at the blonde expectantly. 

As they stepped into the cafe, Aspen noted the way that Indigo held the door open for her. She thought that to be chivalrous – something unexpected. Something kind. But still, just because someone held a door didn’t mean that it was a date… did it? Ugh, Aspen thought to herself, rolling her eyes internally, get yourself together. 

At the question, Aspen bit the inside of her cheek, diverting her gaze to the menu upon the wall behind the counter. She wasn’t good at this – at talking about things. Things like dates and what physicality meant or didn’t mean. She’d never learned this stuff. All she’d learned growing up was fuck and then move on, because people didn’t care about you beyond your body. “I don’t know – no?” She answered, brows creased, and sounding more like a question than a statement. But then, Indigo offered to hold her hand, and Aspen’s blue orbs shot back over to the older woman, suddenly understanding. Sort of…. God, this was all so subjective and not at all black and white.

“If we hold hands would that make this a date?” She asked, less confident and quiet – like she only wanted Indigo, and maybe Pinnacle, to hear. She then let her gaze drop to Indigo’s free hand, the one that wasn’t holding the puppy.

-

indigo didn’t miss the way aspen seemed so fixated on anything but her, studying her form with a hint of a smile on her face. “like i said,” she shrugged towards the blonde lips grazing the top of pinnacle’s head as her own gaze shifted towards the menu in curiosity. “only if you want it to be. do you want it to be?” she asked before her free hand subtly grazed the back of aspen’s in invite, heart speeding up a moment. for a moment she thought about how much calmer she’d be with a drink in her hand - easy, it’s not even noon.

that was another part of herself that she hadn’t yet shown the woman, and hoped she didn’t get a chance to. this was her opportunity to make a better person of herself, and she would have hated to ruin that image, especially in aspen’s eyes. “either way,” she clarified with an amused hum, “date or not, i’m still paying for it.” she grinned cheekily, sending a wink the woman’s way.

Smirking when the professor said that she’d keep her proclaimed idea of a date in mind, Aspen took that as a win. Like Indigo was tucking that in her back pocket to use for later. But, naturally, she was still curious on the concept, and the older professor seemed much wiser and more mature than she.

“Sooo,” Aspen started, brows furrowed as if she was thinking intensely. “In the eyes of many, this… us, right now,” she gestured to the two of them walking, “would be considered a date, when we aren’t even holding hands or touching at all, but when we were literally fucking – being as intimate as possible – that isn’t a date?” Her words naturally dripped with sarcasm, though she was genuinely inquiring. Aspen hadn’t had a normal childhood filled with love or a proper model of it. Her father had ditched when she was two, and then her mother essentially became a hellish nun. 

indigo knew it was inevitable and aspen would point it out. part of her was happy, and wanted the blonde to that indigo was more than keen on taking her out to a real date if she had wanted her too. the other part stammered for a words for a moment, afraid that she had made aspen uncomfortable with the notion that this may be a date. “...right.” she nodded in confirmation to the woman’s words, followed by a small chuckle. she held the door of the cafe open for aspen, before bending down and scooping pinnacle into her arms as they entered. 

“i mean - ...” she thought it over a moment, biting down on her lip. “it’s really just up to the people participating. do you consider to have been on a date every time you’ve had sex with somebody?” she asked curiously, not following with, with me? no matter how much she wanted to. “i can hold your hand if you want me to.” she was mostly poking fun and teasing, evident in her tone, though there was a mask of truth to it.

“So your last date was when you were twenty?” Aspen asked, raising her brows in clear suspicion. Either this woman was lying, she was only counting candlelit movie-like dates as dates, or there was something wrong with her. Of course, the latter excuse was her own answer, so she couldn’t be too judgmental. But she was…. a bit. “Like date-date?” She implored, side-eyeing the professor as Pinnacle peed on a lamp post. “I find nine years to be a bit of a stretch, considering you definitely knew what you were doing back in your office.”

They continued moving when the puppy was satisfied. “But i’d count sitting in underwear, eating Spaghetti-O’s from the can to be a date, so I guess it’s pretty subjective.” Aspen shrugged her shoulder, pursing her lips in thought.

“dates and sex aren’t really the same thing,” she shook her head in clarification, wanting to make it cleat that the past nine years had not been dry for the woman, because, yes, she did know what she had been doing back in her office. “i mean - depending. but usually, sex and dating aren’t the same. and yep. nine years.” and that was all she really had to say on it, because she didn’t want to bring that up right now, especially when, in her mind, this was totally a date. 

she smiled fondly at the idea of aspen’s date, but knowing that just sitting around in their underwear would inevitably lead to sex. either way, she liked the sound of that. “i’ll make sure to keep that in mind,” she said before she could catch herself, blushing slightly a moment later as they turned the corner.

Aspen: [https://66.media.tumblr.com/70141ea589ade9201ebdd1181b3373e8/tumblr_ov5nkq6VRd1s6a1m6o2_250.gif]

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