Great news. I LOVE him

(teleports to 13th century europe) Nobody on their phones. What a beautiful sight :) (peasant beside me cherishes his last gasp of amazement at my clean ass jordans as he dies of common fever)

sex scene = the audience is uncomfortable and learns nothing 

Sax scene= the audience is impressed and learns love for the saxophone

i have this unnerving fear that i’m gonna meet keanu reeves in some tight elevator and his eyes are going to burn into my soul as he tells me the secrets of this universe then bites me on the neck to give me immortality so he’s not alone anymore

Keanu if you’re listening I’m not a little bitch like OP come get a taste

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo

If you’re doing this, it is because you, like the tiger, need enrichment and variety in your life. May I suggest cramming just a whole bunch of raw hamburger into a pumpkin and rolling it around your enclosure?

me @ my last brain cell

I don’t understand what’s the April fools joke this year

tumblr still being a website

idc if u like winter or autumn or whatever nothing tops summer evenings when the sun hasnt fully set and the air is still warm but theres a light breeze and everything is getting more quiet except for the birds and crickets and its a perfect time to go on a walk and just breathe

me @ my last brain cell

as a society we have to start bullying rich ivy league kids more. they’re like “i go to harvard” and you gotta be like “what? never heard of it”

i got a lot of shit about this post a few days ago but ever since that scandal broke? crickets

i, and i can’t emphasize this enough, would literally die for merlin

when you get down on your knees to pray youre sucking gods dick

*bends down even further to suck his toes*

i didnt say that