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@tp-guild-codex-junk

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My prediction—

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Robin in book 1:
Zylas: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating. Like am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know.
Robin, out of danger from Red Rum but now in an illegal demon contract: Things didn’t go exactly as planned but I’m not dead, so it’s a win.
I’m just gonna drop this here...
Robin, blushing: *internally* Calm down, Robin. Just imagine him in his underwear.
Zylas: . . .
Robin: *internally* OH NO HE’S HOT

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Tori: We need to distract the guards.
Zak, standing up: Right.
Tori: What are you gonna do?
Zak: I’m going to kill them all. That ought to distract them.
Tori, to Zak: Look, let’s just agree to say “I’m sorry” on the count of three. One, two three.
*silence*
Tori: See? Now I’m just disappointed in the both of us.
Zak: I told you not to follow me.
Tori: In a shocking turn of events, I ignored you.
[On a job]
Kai: There are civilians in the village-
Zak: I think the way you pronounce that is “acceptable casualties.”
Tori: No! Hearts and minds - we are not bombing the civilians.
Zak: Yeah, they have hearts and minds. They’ll just be spattered all over the-
Tori: NO
Aaron: You know usually people with daddy issues become strippers.
Tori: I mean the option is still available to me

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Tori: I’m invoking the “no judgements” clause of our friendship.
Kai: Oh god, what have you done now.
Aaron, speaking to the entire guild: Alright, whoever makes Ezra fall asleep gets $100.
Tori, holding up a frying pan: Where is he?