to your dream

❛  but i do care about you ... a lot.  ❜ ❛  do you really need me to say it? fine, i love you. happy now?  ❜ ❛  i didn't think you'd feel the same way.  ❜ ❛  the truth is, i don't want just anyone. i want you.  ❜ ❛  you know i love you, right?  ❜ ❛  i want to spend the rest of my life with you.  ❜ ❛  you're the only person who has ever made me feel this way.  ❜ ❛  can't you see how much i care about you?  ❜ ❛  i did all of this for you. because ... because i love you.  ❜ ❛  please don't make me say it. saying it is gonna make it real and i'm not sure i'm ready for that yet.  ❜ ❛  somewhere along the way, you became more than just a friend.  ❜ ❛  i can't keep pretending like i don't love you.  ❜ ❛  well, i like you. i really, really like you.  ❜ ❛  i like you a lot more than i ever thought i would.  ❜ ❛  you're an idiot ... but you are my idiot and i wouldn't have it any other way.  ❜ ❛  when we first met, i didn't think you'd ever mean so much to me.  ❜ ❛  i could do this on my own but i don't want to. i want you right by my side every step of the way.  ❜ ❛  for once, i'm gonna make the selfish choice and be with whoever i want to be. and that person is you.  ❜ ❛  you've made me so incredibly happy.  ❜ ❛  i wasn't planning on telling you like this but now is better than never.  ❜ ❛  believe it or not, i do enjoy spending time with you.  ❜ ❛  i still don't understand what i ever did to deserve someone like you in my life.  ❜ ❛  i love you. i'm in love with you.  ❜ ❛  just being with you is enough ... you are enough.  ❜ ❛  i love everything about you. even the things i don't like, i love.  ❜ ❛  i have been trying so hard not to say anything, to just ignore it, but i cannot do that any longer.  ❜ ❛  when i wake up, you're the first person i think about.  ❜ ❛  i've never felt a connection like this with anyone else ever before.  ❜ ❛  there's something i've been meaning to tell you for a while ... i love you.  ❜ ❛  don't ever do something like this again! i thought i'd lost you ... and i can't ever lose you.  ❜ ❛  i don't hate you. i actually like you. a lot.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to say anything, i understand. and i want you to know that i feel the same way.  ❜ ❛  what's not to love about you? you're beautiful and kind and you're overall the most amazing person i have ever met.  ❜ ❛  i have no idea how i ever managed to fall in love with someone as infuriating as you.  ❜ ❛  i just want you to know how i feel ... in case one of us won't make it.  ❜ ❛  i can't believe it's taken me this long to realize but i love you.  ❜ ❛  whenever you're around, i can feel the butterflies in my stomach.  ❜ ❛  but most of all, i hate how much i don't hate you.  ❜ ❛  you are the most important person in my life.  ❜ ❛  i love you more than words can express.  ❜

"Yeah," Chandra agreed, teeth digging lightly into his lip to resist the big smile he could feel forming. "All of mine and all of yours."

And in that moment, calling Thomas his felt almost like a dirty secret. They weren't like that. They never needed that. And yet his fingers curled lightly into a fist, and his nails scratched the fabric of his trousers on his lap, as if that would offset the pleasure that curled in his stomach. Thomas'd been sleeping in his house, his bed, for quite some time now, eating and drinking and caring for his son. In India they would have been wed ages ago. At any rate it would have happened before Rohan became attached enough to call Thomas "dad" when he was sleepy.

"He was so strange when I met him," Chandra said then. "...lonely, though. But looking at how big the family is I suppose I understand that better now.

"You've been turned, yeah?" Though phrased as a question, Chandra already knew the answer. The drink Jerome had been sipping at was hardly the human staple. "How'd you know you wanted this forever?"

Chandra's whole life was but a piece in the eternal samsara. The thought of anything lasting long enough for an eternity was dizzying.

As always, Jerome's eyes drifted back to Vincent, and he smiled at the sight of his husband's lips forming the word uncle. A title that he expected would soon be bestowed on himself by the eager lad sat on Thomas.

❝You partly answered your own question,❞ Jerome intoned, unable to help remarking on the matter with his usual dry humor. A finger extended from his glass, pointing toward Vincent. ❝I didn't want this forever — I wanted him forever. Everything else, good and bad, pales in comparison to the sentiment you put so nicely : that is indeed all of my world.❞

He took a drink. Jerome's answer would have been enough, surely, but he was not known for giving such short replies. ❝I understand what my new life demanded when I asked Momma Shepard to turn me, as is the tradition. You see, Vincent and I ... we had a fight — a bad one — and I threw him out of my house in a drunken fury. I only realized later what a fool I was : I had ordered his favorite take - out for dinner ; his things were arranged in all of the rooms I went into ; and, if you will pardon my vulgarity, my sheets smelled like him when I tried to sleep.

Once I realized how deeply entrenched in my existence he was, I could not bear the thought of losing him. We made up, of course, but I believe that is when I decided one lifetime was not good enough. Vincent had charmed his way into every facet of my life, and I vowed to, perhaps greedily, keep him there for eternity.❞

Chandra took another, larger drink of his juice. Did he take them here as a step towards some future?

As his eyes met Jerome’s, it occurred to him the man must really love to hear himself talk.

“Do you know why they all look the same?” he asked, thinking this might be the question everyone asked once all the brothers were gathered in the same room. What really burned him with curiosity was how similar their molecular make-up was, but this felt like less common knowledge, and he didn’t want the family to think him strange enough to not invite again.

(This party meant a lot to Thomas, surely.)

His golden eyes drifted over to the assembled members of the Shepard family. For a moment, he looked at Thomas, so surprisingly sure and happy — but then Jerome's gaze moved to Vincent. He always wondered how the emotional wounds inflicted by the younger twins' absence had affected his husband.

❝This is the first time of significance,❞ Jerome replied, voice suddenly much softer. ❝He departed as soon as he could enlist and was back very minimally after. The time between those visits grew longer and longer, as those things do. Inevitably, he stopped appearing at all. It has been ... many, many years. Hopefully, that makes all of our awe at his appearance — with you and your son, nonetheless — more understandable.❞ Jerome took a long drink. ❝Now, if Justin were to show, Momma Shepard may perish of shock. Thomas is the only individual who has seen Justin since they were eighteen. Even I don't know the details of that ... if you can believe that my knowledge has limitations.❞

After all, Thomas didn't come from a prestigious, well-historied Indian family. Thomas wasn't a pure, demure virgin. And Thomas certainly wasn't going to be giving him at least seven children that'd grow to be doctors, engineers, or incredible mothers one day.

Chandra's thumb rubbed absently at the side of his glass, collecting the moisture there. "I cheated at a card game so he'd have weekly dinners with me.

"He helped me with... certain things before that, but refused to let me pay my debt after. It was terrible for my karma" -- I don't know if he's staying by Fate's design or because I chose to take him home -- "so he left me no choice."

Glancing, briefly, at the side of Thomas' face (Rohan's chin was atop his head, and the boy watched through bright eyes as the birthday girls stuck candles into their cake), Chandra's mouth twitched slightly.

"The only way through him is to be more stubborn than he is." He faced Jerome again, shrugging like this was simple. "Having Rohan on my side is an advantage, though.

❝Having Rohan is quite the advantage,❞ Jerome conceded once he was finished. ❝From what I have heard of Thomas — mind you, I have only met him a few times — he is very fond of children. He used to help Momma Shepard babysit all of his much younger siblings.❞

The creature across from Chandra took a swig of his juice. He swallowed, toasted his companion momentarily, and winked. ❝I like you, Chandra. You're going to do just fine here, should you choose to formally join our little club. I get the sense that your relationship is complicated, but I will not pry. Neither myself or Illeana — the fair Mrs. Anton Shepard, if you have yet to be introduced — had smooth roads ourselves. It is a lot to take in. Nevertheless, you have my blessing.❞

"It's Chandra," he said, following after Jerome as he wheeled himself towards the seats and table in the corner. "And my son's name is Rohan... he probably already told you that himself, though."

Earlier, whilst Chandra was led away by Sebastian to deposit the food he'd brought to share into the kitchen (homemade saag paneer and fresh naan), he'd heard his boy chirping out introductions to everyone in the room. By the time he was back out, Rohan was shaking the Shepard patriarch's hand eagerly-- and commenting that he ought to tie his hair up like Thomas sometime, it makes him look so handsome and I bet it'll work for you too.

Sweet gods, his boy.

As he sat, Chandra finally took a sip of the sparkling juice, relishing the bubbling feeling on its way down. Little sensations like that always took the edge off the horrid, cloying everythingness of the world around him.

❝Don't take it to heart that Thomas doesn't speak of you often enough for me to know your name,❞ Jerome said with a wave of his hand. ❝He is extremely private, much like his twin — I'm sure many of us are just amazed that we have met you at all. Though, I would guess a certain young boy played a part in that.❞

Jerome leaned back, unable to help the amused grin on his face. He was dressed impeccably, as always, down to the shining face of his expensive watch that reflected like a mirror. A hand waved out across the family, all milling about in honor of the triplets' birthday. "So, are you fully in? ring and all? or would you like a run down of the excitement you're in for if you take the plunge."

— from @toyourdream, unprompted.

It'd been ages since Chandra was last caught off-guard the way Jerome got him now. Choking on nothing, his grip on the offered glass tightened enough there was a serious risk of cracking it.

Ring and all. For fear of dying at Thomas' parents' home, Chandra made the wise decision not to sip anything just yet. "I, uh... haven't thought that far ahead."

He looked over to where Rohan was sat on Thomas' shoulders, beaming like he was king of the world. Should he be thinking more about the future, for his son's sake? Was a future something Thomas even wanted with the life he led?

Chandra was half-convinced that once everyone involved with Project Rhea was dead, Thomas would leave. (Was he Fated, or Free?)

In the same breath, he also ( fondly ) asked Jerome to behave around said stranger, should they appear tonight. Jerome smiled over the edge of his glass before he deposited it neatly back into his chair's cup-holder. Who was going to protest him being friendly ?

❝Years,❞ Jerome replied. ❝Fifteen, at least ... you know, you do lose track of time when you become one of them. Mm, with the exception of Vincent Shepard — if you ask him, he will give you a precise measure of our relationship down to the hours.❞

finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for .

a kiss shared during a game  ( truth or dare ,  spin the bottle ,  etc ) .

kissing your lover to show you forgive them .

neck kisses that turn into love bites .

wiping away your lover’s tears as you kiss them .

a kiss to prove you don’t have feelings for them .

a last kiss before one goes away .

biting your lover’s lip amidst a kiss .

an emotional kiss bringing one party to tears .

a kiss while being reunited after a long time .

kissing your lover in a moment of sheer joy .

a kiss while slow dancing .

sharing a spontaneous kiss with a stranger .

an abrupt ,  heated kiss during the middle of a fight .

kissing them to shut them up .

a kiss to wake your lover up in the morning .

sharing a kiss in a heavy downpour of rain .

kissing your partner to seal a marriage .

a possessive kiss that is meant to stake a claim .

a kiss to resolve suppressed romantic/sexual tension .

a kiss attempting to convince the other party to stay .

kissing the top of their head as you hold them .

a risky kiss between forbidden lovers .

stolen kisses while hiding away from a crowd .

a kiss that leaves lipstick stains .

a kiss shared on a rooftop while the sun sets .

a flirtatious kiss on the back of the hand .

sneaking off to a public bathroom to make out .

a kiss on the forehead as the other sleeps .

an  ( accidental / mutually )  drunken kiss .

caging your lover against a wall with your arms to kiss them .

a kiss after joining your lover in the shower .

a kiss after receiving good news .

a tentative ,  exploratory kiss between friends .

a kiss shared between enemies during combat .

kissing your lover after believing you’d lost them .

a kiss after a devastating event ,  meant to comfort .

a possessive kiss in front of a jealous third party .

kissing your lover under the night sky while stargazing .

a kiss between two people in a fake relationship .

a kiss that seals a promise .

kissing your lover lazily first thing in the morning .

holding your lover by the jaw to kiss them .

kissing the tears from their cheeks .

a kiss to your lover’s stomach as you travel down their body .

an abrupt kiss that you melt into after a moment of hesitation .

sleepy ,  domestic morning kisses in the kitchen while making breakfast .

a rushed kiss before one party leaves for work .