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toya's form of love can be described as "less is more" — finding difficulty in outward expression, toya often chooses to give gifts instead. when we think of gifts, they are often physical gifts, which is true for toya to an extent (the plushies he gifts because it resembles them). though, i want to consider the gift that toya loves the most — knowledge.
toya grew up in a family where words aren’t often used to describe or tell love. for his family, they more frequently, showed love and care in their own way for toya through actions.
for his mother and brothers, it is acts of service — cooking and bringing toya food, helping toya when he requests, listening to toya. for his father, and this may be a bit of a shocker, but it is gift giving.
it is known that the way your family loves, can have influences on the way you give and reciprocate love. the way his mother, his father, and his brothers care for him, shapes toya’s view on how he wants to appreciate others in his own way, through familial influence. in his eyes, giving gifts is “love”.
toya grew up fed with knowledge from the day he started loving music. he had access to books about music from a young age, and was around kids who loved music like he does. more importantly, he had a father who showed him how beautiful and vast music was. in that sense, knowledge is toya’s greatest gift, and something that toya gifts to people around him.
from nocturne, toya says “thank you for teaching me classical music”. toya mentions it is because of the gift of musical knowledge and love from his father, that toya feels it allowed him to meet the people and music he loves most.
the depth of musical knowledge is what toya gives the most when he finds vbs struggling with their sound, or when they feel lost — he gifts them this knowledge to see their music in a new tone and color, inching them closer to their goals. toya’s greatest love lies in his ability to gift his scenic view to others. if you ever wonder why toya puts so much value in scenery, it is because he one day wishes for others to see music’s beautiful scenery too just like he does.
that principle in toya’s form of gift giving, is why he wanted to help the boy playing the trumpet. he understood how it felt to be so dejected from music, as he once was. he understood that like him, the boy too wanted to produce beautiful sounds that will illustrate beautiful scenes and colors. it is for those reasons that toya, despite having little trumpet knowledge, gave knowledge in the form of his own experiences with music. “if you still hold on to your wish of making beautiful sounds, then, i don’t want you to give up”
toya’s desire to share his wit is because he remembers the times when his father passed down the same knowledge to his youngest son.
as such, toya views and interprets loving others as gifting knowledge and experiences, letting them see the things they never thought they could see. that is toya’s form of love. his love cannot be described otherwise, other than it being just the way he loves others.
the sf6 x vbs video today was so funny BUT IT WAS FULL OF TOYA BEING CUTE
toya: come to think of it, the games we played before are also pretty fast paced — REFERNCING PUYOPUYO, remember how fast toya stacked up those garbage puyos. yeah...
toya isn't just good at games. he has an amazingly analytical and DETAIL ORIENTED BRAIN that has been nurtured because he has so much natural curiosity for the smallest things. it is so cute how he started researching combos and even helping vbs despite him being the opponent
IT IS ALSO NO WONDER TOYA IS SO GOOD AT SF6. he treats it similarly to a puzzle game so he finds the thinking so enriching. he was so good to the point everyone was going 3v1 against him
akito: there's so many things to consider when playing this..
toya: in some aspects, this game is really similar to puzzle games
toya being able to think about strategies, read combos, analyse movements, predict the opponent, these are all things he enjoys in puyopuyo. to him, he views sf6 very similarly to a puyopuyo because of how fast paced it is and how much thought you have to put into each combo in such a short timeframe, that aspect is very similar to puzzle games so it mentally stimulates him a lot. hence, it is fun.
it is no wonder he is so happy playing this game. he's still so sweet even when he's absolutely decimating everyone in vbs -- the way he is silently decimating his opponents while his only comment was "fufu", GIGGLING, is insane EVERYONE WAS PANICKING EXCEPT HIM and even when he was versusing akito (the strongest of the 3) he STILL MANAGED TO REMAIN CALM AND PREDICT AKITO'S MOVES. the full dodge of akito's attacks... completely negating ANY DAMAGE akito did and overpowering akito in the end was INSANE, despite akito trying to overpower toya in the beginning.
puzzle games and sf6 have very different skill sets, yet toya still manage to triumph those differences because he managed to link the subtle similarities from one of his biggest interests 🥺🥺🥺 he is truly the best.
fire flower virgin (no longer a virgin) over explains one line
i think it comes with no surprise that unitstory toya was one of his most angry periods of his life, and also when he was the most conflicted because it begs the question to himself "how can i still feel for the things i love when all i do is run away"
so i think in some way meeting akito was a bit of a whiplash;
"how can you be with a halfhearted person like me"; in len's wl story, we witness through len's eyes, where akito feels toya's pain in his voice. but still he sees that passion for music toya has. it was beautiful to him
akito's raw, pure passion to dream and surpass rubbed onto toya somehow. i think toya wanted to feel that love and passion he has for music again, through another outlet.
but toya still being so conflicted with himself, unable to express his true desires and the path he wanted to take with his father -- that anger overtook him as he felt "unworthy" of being akito's partner. so right at the heat of the moment he flat out said he no longer wanted to continue, choosing to run away again. i think honestly that hurt toya, and akito too. because seeing the person you wanted to do everything with together giving up hurts.
then again akito, from the very first time he met toya he knew how much toya loves music "i know how much you love music, a stupid amount even"; "i want to surpass it with YOU" "its only because you believed in me, that i'm not lost". akito basically, in the song's lyrics "saw through that lie". he's always known how much toya loves music. so as a partner, he'd never want to see toya lose the little light he had left of music during that time.
observations on how toya shows varying autistic traits
discaimer: this is not a diagnostic tool nor a hard and fast "rule". the purpose of this post is to observe and analyse how toya's behavior can be relatable, or similar to the behavior and thinking processes of an autistic person from the lens of an autistic person myself. remember that characters are open to interpretation and that one autistic person is only just one.
this post will be focusing mainly on a few autistic traits/ behaviours to prevent me from repeating myself too much. (as such take this as a thoughtpiece) first being special interests, second being toya’s sensory sensitivity and last being how toya expresses himself
#1. defining and observing special interest(s) in toya
defined as “highly restricted, fixated interest(s) that are abnormal in intensity or focus” (DSM-5). repetitive, restrictive behavior is one of the major key traits of autism, with special interests slightly leaning to “restrictive” behavior. for toya, a special interest can manifest in the form of “excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests” (DSM-5)
in toya’s case, his “perservative”, highly focused intense interest is in music. this interest began with sheer fascination and wonder at his father’s piano, and grew into the current interest that a large part of toya’s identity, wellbeing and life he revolves around. his level of knowledge and deep interest in the specifics of music is also what leads to his “classical prodigy” title. toya’s life revolves around music, and music revolves around his life. the level of intensity that is “music is my entire life” is acknowledged in stories like the first concerto (toya4)
for toya it is, “there has never been a day where i wasn’t thinking about music.”, “i’ve been devoting my life to music with all my heart since i was young”. in addition, (while not an extremely strong point) toya frequently also reminisces the time he first touched music, speaking of these memories with lots of joy. toya also spends a large amount of time hyperfocused on music, sometimes to the point of forgoing self care such as falling sick and needing others to remind him to take care of his needs. toya is also able to remember and cite the little details in the music he listens to, describing its colors, emotions, technical traits in great amounts of detail (eg. toya4, toya5, toya6 and more)
for autistic people, many also involve their special interests into daily activities, play and socialisation, behaviours that toya sometimes exhibits, as he links the sounds he hears to experiences, and experiences to “all of these experiences can be useful for my music”. though it may not make much sense to others, it is the fact toya sees joy in including music into everything he does that makes it such a giant part of his life. it is also mentioned that toya often listens to familiar songs to relax on a rest day, linking to how special interests also regulate toya’s state. music contributes so much to toya’s happiness, that he shows it physically as he mentions he gets “fidgety” in front of a microphone.
special interests are also defined by the way they not only surround an autistic person’s life, but also the fact they are also a large part of an autistic person’s wellbeing. to describe this, i will be bringing up the alternate universe in world link 2, where we get to see a toya who “lost” music. we see that toya loses his sense of self and identity as he runs away from music. as special interests are also a large part of socialisation, toya also loses a part of his social life, as he feared akito after the argument surrounding music. this is somewhat also linked to his intense fear of (perceived) disappointment from those he loves the most, which can also be under rejection sensitive dysphoria, where toya experiences high levels of emotional distress and pain because of his (perceived) failure.
for toya, music is not simply just passion for performing and listening, but music for him is also the desire to learn everything right down to knowing the individual instruments, the notes, every genre, every emotion that comes with it.
toya without music is akin to his entire world shutting down. he loses some part of his basic functioning abilities because his special interest in music is what keeps him grounded, helping him percieve the world, form relationships and relax.
——
#2. overview of toya’s sensory sensitivities
toya also has known sensory sensitivities shown in the stories/ extra content. the biggest one being his hypersensitivity to sound.
because of it, toya is highly capable of listing and imagining so much detail from the sounds he hears, as part of heightened sensitivity. there are many instances of toya picking apart details in music — details that may be insignificant but are everything to toya. because of sounds, his head never stops moving and thinking.
this sensitivity to sound is also something his friends, especially akito, accommodate for during performances. as mentioned in a magazine “interview”, akito avoids wearing loose jangly accessories or clothing that make a lot of sound because of toya, who is “sensitive to sounds”. it could suggest that such sounds may cause overstimulation for toya.
furthermore, despite these sensitivities, sound is also what grounds him and soothes him. for some autistic people, they may seek out input that they are sensitive to. this is known as sensory seeking behavior, which toya exhibits in numerous occasions when it comes to sounds. this can be linked to his special interest in music, as well as seeking out sensory input out of joy. an example of this is toya finding comfort in the loud, chaotic environment of the arcade. another example is the time when toya got to ride a horse carriage, with the dialogue hinting his sensory seeking as he describes “the soothing sound of horse hooves on the pavement”.
his sensory seeking tendencies linking to his special interest in music are also shown in side stories such as in his utsuro 4* side story — as he looked for inspiration for his music, he walked around his neighbourhood, reflecting on and taking in all the sounds and music entering his ears, using them as samples to inject life into his music. the story also tells us more about his hypersensitivity to sound, as everyday sounds for autistic people who are sensitive to sound tend to be amplified or more noticable. for toya, it is him hearing the sound of feet hitting the ground, the sound of drinks dispensing from a vending machine, the sounds of people talking and singing even from far, and the sounds of children playing. such a story perfectly ties in how much detail he takes in, with finding comfort in them.
it is also mentioned in a few instances (eg. mysekai waterfall furniture) that toya seeks auditory input when he feels tired or exhausted. “i find it nice to listen to the soothing sounds of water when i am tired”, tying to the aforementioned behaviour, as well as his sound sensitivities.
toya may also struggle with sensory issues in regards to texture, a known example being the fact he dislikes squid because of its texture. however, there is little expansion on his texture sensitivity, unlike sound.
while unrelated to sensory sensitivities, toya has mentioned that he avoids reading novels when trying to relax, as he ends up thinking over the details so much it tires him out instead.
——
#3. toya and learning to express himself
another defining part of toya’s story as a whole is his journey towards learning how to express himself, both through his words and through his facial expressions. this is known as alexithymia, described as a “difficulty in identifying, processing, describing and handling” his own feelings. linking it with autism, it can be said that while toya struggles and has difficulties with expressing himself, he feels a lot of emotions deep inside, whether he understands them yet or not, a trend common with autistic people. in addition, toya also feels a lot of strong emotions, but may not be able to display them through facial expressions. such traits have led to his original description “cool and quiet”, “expressionless”, or an-chan joking that “toya’s facial muscles must be dead”. hence. in the past, despite having such a bright and vibrant internal monologue from the start, he had so much difficulty expressing those feelings.
it is clear through his stories that he has learnt so much about understanding his emotions — that started from being confident and upfront with them, finding the confidence to use words throughout his nocturne story. below is a quick comparison between pre-nocturne and during nocturne:
above, was once a toya who used to choke on his words, swallowing so much of it because he was afraid and didn't know, in comparison to the current toya, who confidently knows what he wants and is so much better at expressing his desires and emotions. his face was often deadpan and expressionless because his head couldn't scramble to understand his feelings back then.
as he learns to process emotions better, one of the effects is him letting those emotions show on his face (something he used to struggle with). all the times where his friends mention that “i never knew toya could make this kind of face”, is because of him understanding his own emotions through each experience gained, and having that confidence to express them. toya willingly participates in everything he can, because he wants to experience the vibrance that will help him gain the words to express himself even better. in this sense, toya doesn’t want to keep his vibrant internal monologue to himself. toya wants everyone to feel it with him. as this is what toya learnt from an’s observations about him —
“toya, you’ve really changed a lot. when we first met, i could never tell what you were thinking.”, “it is all thanks to you being able to express yourself properly”, “because we’re all good friends, we’ll smile together in happy moments, cry together in sad moments.”
in addition to his growing self confidence helping hin to express himself, toya, like many autistic people, also tend to leverage on their special interests to help them understand and process their emotions — which is where music comes in. shown when toya makes music as an avenue to process his life experiences, and also using his own experiences in music to empathise with the boy in the beautiful sound event ; it is also common in autistic people to “relate” to others in this unconventional way like toya does, as they may find difficulty identifying emotions. even though toya seems to “lack” emotion, it is rather he often feels them so deeply, that there are times he doesn’t know what to do with them, overwhelming him. part of his growth is him learning to express those feelings instead of wallowing in them. that’s why, toya having such a great support system that gives him that musical space to learn is so important because music is his bridge to understanding. the very core part of music is expressing yourself in a way words may not be able to. ergo, music helps toya process complex emotions. taking away music, also means taking away the one thing toya has that helps him understand his own emotions.
it is also mentioned by toya that he has tendencies to "fidget" thinking about singing when he is in front of a microphone. although the details are not expanded on much, it is also possible to take this as toya stimming as a way to manage and express his uncontrollable excitement.
lastly, toya’s, sort of unorthodox way of showing his care and attention for others is through observing the little details about them. it is his way of understanding the world around him as well as the emotions of others. autistic people may struggle with and/ or handle their empathy differently. for toya, it ends up with him staring at others unintentionally though he does that out of care. it also results in him making facial expressions that he himself, doesn’t even realise or know he is making. they come as he internalises and processes every single thought and observation, that his body responds in a manner that represent the emotions he is feeling at that monent. when toya stares, or looks at you, he is highly curious and observant of you. hence he also observant of what his friends voiced out in the past (eg. akito mentioning wanting a specific chocolate as a passing thought, only for toya to remember that information) and tends to remember those small details for long periods of time.
—
as a conclusion, toya exhibits quite a few traits that autistic people may find relatable, or even identify with. i think it is these specific traits that toya has, that also contribute to how loveable he is as a character. there is of course, likely way more but i didn’t want to make this too long. toya’s mix of innocent joy, maturity and love for everything is wonderful. i hope this gives some insight to how i view toya as a character, as well as his behaviors.
special thanks: to my friends who proofread this for me, and to toya, for being such a wonderful character i loved for nearly 6 years. i love you so much.
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a linguistic analysis on word choice in toukasuru ondo
"With my resonating sympathy – “Hey, I want to look back on today as well”,
Repeating again and again to solve our shared jigsaw puzzle with you,
Because it’s alright even if I can’t see the full picture yet, And as long as we skip and jump towards our destination, Let’s gather and move forward together until that time comes."
i think it is very beautiful that linguistically and structurally, the entire ending reads like one whole sentence. in other words, it makes the full stop at the very very last line 「その時まで。」 impactful. the entire ending verse feels like a conclusion to toya telling you about the warmth he feels snuggling up to your heart. that he feels with you, wants to solve the puzzle with you, repeating and recalling these moments as you skip and jump across the puddles of water on the road, and lastly, moving forward together. the continuous run on sentence feels intended to be read that way (at least in english)
secondly, i want to talk about the intentional word choice for 「揃えて進んでこうよ」 , focusing on 揃えて which means to gather.
in language, there will never be perfect synonyms for a word because it only creates redundancy. languages reduce redundancy to increase efficiency of communicating specific ideas. synonyms are ranked based on closeness, but even so, each synonym carries different nuances. for example, happy has a different nuance from content, even if the dictionary lists them as synonyms. hence, when we choose words, we choose them based on their individual connotations and meanings to bring out certain ideas and specific meanings.
simply put, for 揃える (to gather), one of its closest synonyms is 集める (to gather). on the surface, they mean the exact same, but these two words differ heavily in connotation, which is why the intentional use of 揃えて in toukasuru ondo has deep meaning in the context of toya's story.
揃えて — it connotates a sufficient/ complete collection. 集めて on the other hand, focuses on gathering but not yet enough.
so, the fact 揃えて is consciously choosen connotates that toya, feels content and happy surrounded by all the people he loves that he has gathered around him. in other words, toya has completed his gathering of people who love him and want to be a part of his journey. he feels all of their warmth as they skip and jump to the destination they dream of together. it is because of the fact toya has found happiness in having akito, vbs, his family, vivid street, his rivals in america all in his circle, where his satisfaction of a complete collection comes from.
when we convey toya’s feelings of warmth and closeness with all the people he loves up till now, and knowing he’s in a place where he can feel that, a simple difference in connotation and usage between two synonyms can change the meanings in the subtext. the productivity of language allows this — toya is so loved by everyone around him, and 揃えて perfectly captures that inage.
toya: huh...?! what do you mean.... tsukasa-senpai was the imposter all along?
toya: this has to be.... a lie... right?
oh toya... the face he made when he found out tsukasa lied and was actually the imposter 🥹🥹🥹 he trusted in tsukasa so much that he couldn't fathom it.
he took the game so seriously and was so focused on the role and scenario that he looks as if the world just crashed and ended in front of him. his soul is just too pure for this world how is he ever going to survive...
an aoyagi toya analysis; REM (sleep), dreams and paralysis
the comm song for world link part 4 came out and i can't help but think about all the details in the way toya's struggle is animated. i think the song's title is in reference to REM sleep, the state of sleep characterised by vivid dreams and muscle paralysis. however, i also felt like interpreting toya's struggle specifically, as sleep paralysis, when his mind wakes up from REM before his body. it is also characterised by strange visions and hallucinations, panic and muscle paralysis.
analysis below read more
out of all the characters featured, toya's the only one who is stuck lying down on the floor, completely unable to move, his fingers shaking and twitching as he so badly tries to move and wake up.
in the video, we also see visions of a shadowy figure standing by toya, as if these are hallucinations/ dreams of the people that he cherishes the most and wants to stand beside. yet as we know, toya can't reach them. toya can't feel them no matter how much he tries to move because he's paralysed in his own sleep. toya is frankly frightened by the visions that surround him, perhaps because of how real this feeling is.
these many silhouettes disappearing and appearing is part of toya's intense panic in that state of limbo in sleep paralysis. he perhaps sees those hallucinations of the people he loves -- leaving him while he struggles in place, letting him hear all their footsteps, all while he is unable to move except "cry" in pain about how much he wants someone by his side to pull him out from this nightmare. he grabs onto nothingness to no avail, wanting to cry for help hoping that the bright sky far above can save him.
yet, no one hears him except the void he is stuck in. toya's pained expression is one as if he's almost about to cry, whether its from the intense fear of people leaving his side, or the intense pain from being stuck.
it is of course, not the first time that toya experienced such vivid visions that leaves him waking up in cold sweat. one of the main causes of sleep paralysis is high stress, which for toya, is because he places so much pressure on himself to be perfect just to be loved. just like in the first concerto where toya constantly heard voices of his failures, this time, it his him hearing people leave him. the lyrics correspond to this idea with the lines
"i'm certainly not the one who should stand by someone as kind as you"
"i'm certainly not the one who should stand by someone as great as you"
these lines are a reminder of toya's past failures where he constantly ran away from his feelings, swallowing his own words because he was so scared to face akito and lose the him, though he later realised that fear only made him run away more.
"i can't help but love so dearly the words i swallowed thinking about you, so won't you smile for me", describes the many beautiful words that fill toya's mind when he thinks about the people he loves most. yet, because he feared to face them, he just hopes that they still smile one with or without him, therefore the line: "i'm just glad i could understand you better even if its just a little bit". i like to interpret this line in tandem with wl2.
finally jolting awake from his REM sleep (ok why was he sleeping with lights on), drenched in his cold sweat, eyes in fear as he was shaken by the realism of those visions, he clenches his own fists as if grabbing something. as if he's grabbing onto the "light" that pulled him out from these feelings. perhaps, toya thought about the person he wanted to have by his side forever, who always stands right next to him, never leaving, never teaming up with anyone but him. those gentle words led him to remember that he's not alone. that sense of security, reassurance and calmness was lovely.
it truly feels as though the memories and nightmares of what if he lost everything he loved in his life flooded his head, and that's why toya so badly wanted the two mob characters to reconnect, because he knows what it felt like to later on regret everything in wl2, knowing time can't be turned back if his feelings were never faced. this event serves as a checkpoint for toya to apply all the lessons he has learnt about being/having a partner, and its so beautiful to see.
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aibouism and toya pt.2 "an all or nothing showdown" (toya's wl chapter)
for some quick context on the conflict that the characters are trying to resolve in wl3
two background characters (majima-senpai, moriya-senpai again) from kamikou's volleyball club had a really bad fight and the characters are trying to get them to make up and talk to each other again
SPOILERS BELOW READ MORE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
for quite sometime now, we've seen toya do a lot of things that are unexpected, things that he'd never usually do, but pushes himself to his absolute limit to do so that he can help someone. (eg. toya6) in this story, it is toya insisting to a volleyball match (despite being dogshit at sports) with the background character, majima-senpai, just so that he can get her to talk to moriya-senpai again.
toya: i really want this... no matter what
toya: i really want this chance to get majima senpai and moriya senpai to get to know each other's feelings!
majima: ...why...
the question that majima-senpai begs to toya, is "why are you so insistent?", when it comes to toya taking this showdown as the only chance he has to get her to make up with moriya.
he later goes on to answer why he's so insistent, as he talks about how he once also went through the same thing with someone very close to him. (who is very obviously described to be akito)
the overarching point of toya's monologue is to explain that even the most unshakeable relationships will go through hardship and rocky times, times where you feel like its better to just cut off the relationship as a whole because you no longer want to see them again. yet, there will always be a lingering desire to want to stand beside them even when you think you want them out of your life, because they made you feel that sense of belonging and love that is so unique to that relationship. the important thing in all relationships is to be honest and face each other properly in those moments
toya: i too, have irreplaceable friends i cherish. i have an important friend who sang together by my side, whom i want to fulfill my dreams with. although our relationship now is unshakeable, it wasn't always that way
toya: because i couldn't bear to tell them honestly about the guilt i was carrying, i almost once disbanded the team i formed with that important friend. at that time, i thought it was better to ignore my true feelings, thinking it'll be for the sake of that friend.
toya: ....but thankfully, because of the people around me, i got to be honest with them. till this day, we are still singing together.
toya, who in the past lacked a sense of self confidence and ability to express his feelings properly, once pushed akito away because he couldn't face his own guilt towards music with honesty. he simply thought that drowning out those feelings would hurt less, when it only led to more hurt. akito desperately wanting to know how toya feels, yet toya, who kept thinking he was a half-hearted person who doesn't deserve the position, kept running away thinking it'd be better. (you'd see what happens when he truly did run away in wl2's story)
fortunately, because of the support from the people around toya, he got to face akito properly and honestly, pouring his heart out even as he struggled to express what he truly wanted in the beginning. the matter of fact is that, it is because of toya's honesty that his relationship with akito only strengthened further. today, toya gets to stand by akito's side, to be relied on and to rely on him, singing together with joy, because of that.
as a way to poke into majima's true feelings, he asks the very same question that akito once asked him: "don't you want to be together with me?" with the very same question that made toya look into his heart and think about the warmth and joy he felt with akito, he wanted majima to look for that true answer in her heart too.
and it seemed like the words toya said to majima likely had some form of an impact, as majima gave toya a piece of advice to make it easier for him to win. with toya's level of determination, he finally managed to receive the ball, and therefore will get the chance for majima to talk to moriya.
i really love the aibou-centric theme of this story, as it sort of builds upon what was addressed in toya's previous wl2 story. its a culmination of how much he's grown from the past, as the story progresses from facing his feelings honestly to now helping others face their feelings honestly...
aibouism and toya pt.2 "an all or nothing showdown" (toya's wl chapter)
for some quick context on the conflict that the characters are trying to resolve in wl3
two background characters (majima-senpai, moriya-senpai again) from kamikou's volleyball club had a really bad fight and the characters are trying to get them to make up and talk to each other again
SPOILERS BELOW READ MORE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
for quite sometime now, we've seen toya do a lot of things that are unexpected, things that he'd never usually do, but pushes himself to his absolute limit to do so that he can help someone. (eg. toya6) in this story, it is toya insisting to a volleyball match (despite being dogshit at sports) with the background character, majima-senpai, just so that he can get her to talk to moriya-senpai again.
toya: i really want this... no matter what
toya: i really want this chance to get majima senpai and moriya senpai to get to know each other's feelings!
majima: ...why...
the question that majima-senpai begs to toya, is "why are you so insistent?", when it comes to toya taking this showdown as the only chance he has to get her to make up with moriya.
he later goes on to answer why he's so insistent, as he talks about how he once also went through the same thing with someone very close to him. (who is very obviously described to be akito)
the overarching point of toya's monologue is to explain that even the most unshakeable relationships will go through hardship and rocky times, times where you feel like its better to just cut off the relationship as a whole because you no longer want to see them again. yet, there will always be a lingering desire to want to stand beside them even when you think you want them out of your life, because they made you feel that sense of belonging and love that is so unique to that relationship. the important thing in all relationships is to be honest and face each other properly in those moments
toya: i too, have irreplaceable friends i cherish. i have an important friend who sang together by my side, whom i want to fulfill my dreams with. although our relationship now is unshakeable, it wasn't always that way
toya: because i couldn't bear to tell them honestly about the guilt i was carrying, i almost once disbanded the team i formed with that important friend. at that time, i thought it was better to ignore my true feelings, thinking it'll be for the sake of that friend.
toya: ....but thankfully, because of the people around me, i got to be honest with them. till this day, we are still singing together.
toya, who in the past lacked a sense of self confidence and ability to express his feelings properly, once pushed akito away because he couldn't face his own guilt towards music with honesty. he simply thought that drowning out those feelings would hurt less, when it only led to more hurt. akito desperately wanting to know how toya feels, yet toya, who kept thinking he was a half-hearted person who doesn't deserve the position, kept running away thinking it'd be better. (you'd see what happens when he truly did run away in wl2's story)
fortunately, because of the support from the people around toya, he got to face akito properly and honestly, pouring his heart out even as he struggled to express what he truly wanted in the beginning. the matter of fact is that, it is because of toya's honesty that his relationship with akito only strengthened further. today, toya gets to stand by akito's side, to be relied on and to rely on him, singing together with joy, because of that.
as a way to poke into majima's true feelings, he asks the very same question that akito once asked him: "don't you want to be together with me?" with the very same question that made toya look into his heart and think about the warmth and joy he felt with akito, he wanted majima to look for that true answer in her heart too.
and it seemed like the words toya said to majima likely had some form of an impact, as majima gave toya a piece of advice to make it easier for him to win. with toya's level of determination, he finally managed to receive the ball, and therefore will get the chance for majima to talk to moriya.
i really love the aibou-centric theme of this story, as it sort of builds upon what was addressed in toya's previous wl2 story. its a culmination of how much he's grown from the past, as the story progresses from facing his feelings honestly to now helping others face their feelings honestly...
i find toya getting hurt and scraped up like this so cute and endearing, as if toya isn't afraid to get his hands dirty or bleed a little, as long as it means he gets to experience something new for the first time even if he's bad or has no experience. there are a lot of things that he can't really do (because he isn't inclined to them), but toya's innocent and a little naive belief that if he practices more and more eventually he'd master it. its really difficult to say no to that level of determination.
toya is never discouraged by the fact he is/can be bad at something (eg. sports), he seems to always put his 100% effort into it even if the end result isn't super desirable. he's just so cute. all these factors make him someone who learns extremely fast
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(toya's wl card side story) AKITO BEING OVERPROTECTIVE ONCE AGAIN LOL
toya's doing sports in a miserable attempt as you can see from his scrapes and bruises and rui told him to stop because he just imagined what akito would say if he saw toya full of bruises LOL
Akito: kamishiro-senpai, what exactly are you doing to MY toya?
MY TOYA IS FUCKING CRAZY. UCHI NO TOYA IS CRAZY AKITOYA REAL?
i actually originally wrote my whole pre event thoughts in japanese and thinking about it now it was so much more poetic in japanese i think i am really just a huge fuckinf yapper for toya
