It All Depends On What You Believe

are you proud of yourself? are you happy? He talks. He's going to KEEP YOU AROUND FOR A WHILE. well, this is the very definition of "be careful what you wish for. "

I'm a statistics guy. I have a spreadsheet of every EMH video and the running time, so I can tell you shortest, longest, mean, average, median.....hey, my obsession is only slightly different than yours. So I am sitting here trying to determine if I will enter 1:14 or 74, and I realize the only number that anyone gives a damn to know is HOW MANY DAYS UNTIL PART TWO. Here's hoping we see a repeat of Moving In and :D, which showed up about 23 hours apart. Thank you, Jeff, Evan and Vin.

I guess we can safely assume that the rendering issues and their eventual repair can be found in Part Two, or later....

OK, look. It has been scant minutes since I watched "March 21st", so I admit, I am pretty wound up. But I doubt the majority of these feelings will change. Let me get this straight: Vin is concerned because in "a couple weeks" he has not seen um, I guess, the type of "progress" he'd like to, so he wants our opinion on whether or not to "summon the thing." Summon HABIT? How's that supposed to work? "Yo, HABIT! What up? Slide over, bitch." Aside from the intriguing logistical issues - how does one invite that which has terrorized, maimed, killed your loved ones? I don't mean "how" exactly- I am sure we'll find out. I mean, How the fuck can you even contemplate that, Vinny? And, this makes it so rich...."at least he talks." Well I have always thought a drop of witty repartee was worth losing one of my best friend's souls. Easy trade off to make. What do I think? I think, don't tempt fate, Vin. I think, please don't do that to Evan, you may not get him back this time. I think your idea of whipping out the Ouija board, or having a seance there among the pinball machines in the basement is fucking INSANITY, Vin. Just one man's opinion.

So now I am wondering.... You had that cool conversation, or that hard talk, or that emotional back and forth, and then, you left. And down the block, you realized the PERFECT rejoinder. But it's too late, now isn't it. You're gone. More importantly, the moment is gone. That's L'esprit de l'escalier. My French teacher called it "the loss of the moment." So last night I'm thinking, "who lost the moment." Who had the witty thing to say and didn't get the chance? I think I have my answer, but I caution you, it's only mine, and my answer is personally prejudiced, based on what I would like to see. Turn back the page to Halloween Hangover, or I'm OK, or several other entries. Then move forward to Moving In and Colon D. Who didn't get a chance to speak? Who do we see, for just a moment, in honest, grinning, happy flashback, just prior to his immolation? Whose "esprit"? Jeff's, I believe.

He said, and I quote, "....any of us...". He did not say, "you and me." Which would refer to Vin and Evan. He said, "any of US." That would lead you to believe that we might see Jeff, alive, Jeff. And that feels like a possibility, remember I'm the charter member of the "He's not dead" club. But like this??? Is this what I want? What we want? This horrid, never-ending, mind-fucking STUCK? Never let go? Is that where we are.? I am not a religious man (which is not to say I don't have faith) but Dear God, spare them from a cycle of knowing and living with a ceaseless understanding of "my loved ones are dead" and, "I killed them." No, Evan, it does NOT look like you have suffered. And isn't that the irony? You get to live with it, whole. You get to relive the memories. Holy crap. Does anyone remember the end of "the Princess Bride". "To the pain"? That is what we have here. What an amazing week of film. Wow.

Call me naive, stupid, tell me I wear rose colored glasses. Say I'm not paying attention. I do not care. For the time being, I am the founder, charter member, president, whatever of the "He Is Not Dead" club. No offense to Vin, but I do not think that Vin can save Evan. I think only Jeff can, or Evan himself, and to that end, I'm holding out hope that Jeff is, at this moment, really badly fucked up, but not dead. Let's not forget: The Doctor Is IN. He believes there is a way out, a viable end,and has told Vin so, and even brought Vin to the point of witnessing him shooting Slendy. Do I think the shots had any effect? Hell, No. That's not the point. I don't think it was the Doc's point, either. I think the Doc's point was to say, "Fight. Believe with everything you have, that there is good in the world and it can be a powerful force." I am reminded of the literary references and precursors to EMH, and still, I think, "No. He is alive." Because, there's just been so much chaos, so much blood, so much loss, so much mayhem, it seems entirely unfair that Jeff would not survive. Again, maybe that's just naive, but I am hopeful. And I wait.

So I just got turned on to this Podcast called DisDads which is, like it sounds a community of fathers who take their kids to Disney World. Mea culpa: if I am supposed to be posting this somewhere else, let me know, it isn't my intention to bore Slender-items with Magic Kingdom crap if I am not supposed to. anyway, they are having a competition sort of like March Madness where they have one Disney attraction against another and they sort of argue it out and see what attraction moves on and to get to the Final Four they have Wishes vs. Pirates of the Carribean. How am I supposed to pick one of those over the other? Heart wrenching beautiful nighttime fireworks spectacular with a flying human fairie vs. iconic time honored never gets old best SMELLING ride at WDW.... What would you vote for?