Rambles From a Random

people have been illegally dumping their old boats all around abandoned neighborhoods in detroit so this one newscaster on the local news station has been collecting them and finding out who the owners are by looking up the ID numbers on the boats and then she puts them on a flatbed truck and she brings them back to their owners wearing a fucking captain’s hat and she knocks on their doors and goes “hey we found your boat!”

Not all heroes wear capes

Some apparently wear captain's hats

I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

Just as the Mayans predicted, the apocalypse came with the signal of a cough.

these middle schoolers read better than my high school honors english class

I REALLY HAVE TO REBLOG THIS IM SORRY THE FUCKING TEACHER

“Stop being dead right now”

That’s the reaction of an adult who delights in what you just did, but is in the position of Enforcing The Rules, so they have to tell you to stop anyway

Every time I see that glee face he gets its like “fine I guess I’ll reblog”

Elephants are too pure for this world

I love the mums reaction like “I know what’s coming”

Elmo’s voice saying “I’ll fuck u up” is the best and worst thing ever

YO I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY😭🤣

Cold wit it

Oh neat, an airbender

So what I’m hearing overall is “more gay spaces, of all types.”

Listen, all I’m saying is that if they can have “Christian Dentists,” they can have gay dentists’ offices.

GAY DENTIST NOW

you found him and he is proud of you

Unmute please!

he really wearing a shirt