Toshi Hakari

SO basically someone posted this on twitter:  

and everyone picked pratt that he started trending lmfao 

(and then people found out about him being MAGA/belonging to a church that supports conversion therapy)

SO NOW the marvel PR clown brigade is writing dissertations on how nice chris pratt is (like??)

and people are rightfully upset bc WHERE was this energy for people in the marvel cast who were actually harassed like

AAAA WE’RE GETTING AN ANIME I’M SO EXCITED!!!

1. When you feel bogged down and you can’t clear your mind, do something physical or get some exercise.

2. Set a time limit for your “thinking time” then make yourself move on to doing something else.

3. Interrupt the thinking process or distract yourself by diverting your attention onto something very different.

4. Stop discussing what concerns you with everyone you meet as you’ll just end up confused, and you won’t know what to do.

5. Accept that uncertainty is part of this life, and we don’t have all the facts, or know what’s further down the road.

6. Throw yourself into a project, a hobby or some work. That will force you to refocus on something else instead.

MDZS fic writers, please stop changing Jiang YanLi’s name to “Jin YanLi” just cuz she got married to peacock golden boy. Even back in Old China, if you and your partner were (essentially) of equal status, you never change your family name to that of your spouse’s, even as a woman. The concept of “maiden names that are automatically changed upon marriage” isn’t really a thing. If a name change happens, it’s because an individual specifically chooses to take on the name formally (or forced to cuz of whatever nonsense reason). Still, it’s more common for name changes to happen by adoption rather than marriage.

In the case of Jiang YanLi marrying into the Jin Sect, her title is now (Young) Madam Jin, but her name is still Jiang YanLi. In her mother’s case, her name being Yu ZiYuan isn’t a big deal, it’s normal. It was the fact that she was referred to, as a title, as Madam Yu, despite being the Madam of the Jiang Sect, which suggested she took pride in her birth family roots over her marriage into the Jiang Sect. So, please, if you want to call her Jin YanLi please at least put in like one line of her wanting to take on the married name instead of her family name.

(I think even the original MDZS text gets it wrong sometimes.)

(there’s also the variation that comes with different dynasties…but we won’t go there)

1. The Lady of the House

So “fu'ren” 夫人 is the equivalent of “Lady”, and (for the most part) this is ONLY used for the main wife of a man, the 妻 “Qi”. Therefore, Yu Ziyuan, the wife of Jiang Fengmian should be Lady Jiang or 江夫人 “jiang-fu'ren”. Sometimes to introduce the wife to someone who’s never met her, we can also include her last name in the introduction. For example, 这位是江夫人余氏。“This is Jiang fu’ren, of Yu-shi”. 

The word “shi” 氏 means “clan”. It is considered sometimes to be impolite for a stranger to know the actual “name” of a woman if he is not her family or close assoicate. This rule is not followed in most wuxia stories and fictional works, but it is in history. So to track which family wives are from, their maiden last name is always kept. The “shi” of a woman is never changed after marriage because well…you can’t change which family you’re born in. 

The story refers to Yu Ziyuan as Yu-fu’ren. This is literally a mistake. >_>

A married women may be referred by both the “shi” of her husband and her father. So in the case of Yu Ziyuan, in a legal document (if she was ever like…idk summoned in court or something) she will referred to as “Jiang-Yu shi”. 

Now, for Jiang Yanli, because Jin Zixuan’s mother was still alive and the head of the family is Jin Guangshan at the time Zixuan and Yanli got married, technically Jin Zixuan’s mother is “Jin fu’ren”, and Yanli should be referred to as “shao fu’ren”. 少 “shao” means “younger”. So “Lady Jiang the younger” is essentially what that means, indicating that Jiang Yanli is the wife of the son of the family.  

Addendum: In certain dynasty, the term “da niang-zi” 大娘子 is also used to describe the wife. In which case, her own maiden name would be used. So this might be why Yu Ziyuan is called Madam Yu. Because if she’d been born in let’s say the Song dynasty, she could be called 余大娘子 “yu-da’niang’zi”. Regardless of that, she should still be 江夫人 Jiang fu’ren.   

2. The other non-wives and the use of last names 

The above described in #1 is referring to the legal wife of a man. Even in polygamous China, every man only has 1 wife. The rest of the women he marries are not wives. The term used for them is 妾 “qie”. Because a man can have as many non-wives are he can afford (ugh), you have to differentiate them somehow. If the husband’s last name was Li, for example, it would be wrong to call the concubines “Li fu’ren”. Depending on the dynasty, terms like “xiao-niang” 小娘, “tai-tai” 太太 are used. So a concubine with the last name Cheng, married to a man with the last name Li, would be referred to as “Cheng-xiao’niang of the Li family.”  

When in doubt, as in you see a man with a woman who is definitely his spouse but not sure if she’s wife or concubine, you should always assume the woman is the wife until corrected or told otherwise. So you may see a inn keeper refer to a concubine as “fu’ren” out of respect.  

Sometimes, to show respect to a concubine, you can refer to them as “fu’ren” as well but with a number attached. For example if concubine Cheng was ranked number two in her husband’s household, she could be referred to as “Li-er-fu’ren” 李家二夫人 or just  二夫人 “er-fu’ren”, meaning she’s the second woman her husband married. 

3. The term “fu’ren” used as “Mrs.” 

The term “fu’ren” can be used generally to refer to any woman who is married. It would be impolite to refer to a woman as “gu’niang”, because “gu’niang” means Miss, an unmarried female. In a context where you don’t know who the woman’s husband is, or her rank in the family, a married woman should be addressed by strangers, workers, salesperson, doctors, as “fu’ren”. 

And how do you know if a woman’s married? From her hair. A married woman’s hair should be dressed up in an updo. Low-dos are reserved for maidens. The fact that Jiang Yanli’s hair didn’t change pre and post marriage is historical inaccuracy. 

But this is wuxia, a fantasy drama, so the rules are a bit lax. 

4. Royal titles. 

Anyways, again, thanks for expanding on this. I didn’t know most of this information and I’ll be keeping this post for future reference.

Also I realized I made a typo above. Jiang Yanli’s title should be Lady Jin the younger 金家少夫人。

(and while i’m at it, i apologize for stealing your post and adding a bit more info) 

5. Class division, age division and the use of titles

Because in Chinese there’s no universal “ma’am” that we can apply to every woman… Things get complicated.

“gu’niang” or  “Miss”, is an entirely appropriate title to apply to any unmarried young woman of most social class (except for maybe princesses and duchesses). When in doubt of a woman’s marital status and if she is relatively young, the default is to assume she is unmarried, and use “gu’niang”. (Of course, if it is known that she is married and you still use gu’niang, it would be seen as an offence as stated in 3, except for some very particular cases.) 

So if Jiang Yanli is walking down the street and trips, and a strange who has no idea who she is tried to help her, they will call her gu’niang, because it is not obvious from way she looks that she is married. 

Now if her hair is in an up-do and the person suspects she is married, they will refer to her differently depending if Jiang Yanli is a) dressed as a peasant or as nobility/wealthy person, and b) if the person is older or younger than her: 

If Yanli looks rich/noble/well-to-do -> default to “fu’ren”. That’s totally a-okay for literally everyone to use.

If she looks poor/peasant, AND if the speaker is someone younger and/or same generation as her, it is okay to call her “大嫂” da’sao or “大姐” da’jie. Da’sao = wife of a older brother, and da’jie = older sister. If the stranger is kind of the same age and it’s hard to tell who’s younger and who’s older, give the person you’re speaking to the seniority as a sign of respect until further information is given. 

If she looks poor/peasant, and the person talking to her is WAY older than her, like an uncle or a grandma, then it is STILL OKAY to call her “gu’niang”, even if she is married. 

However, if the woman you encounter is older, as in way past the age that ancient society expected a woman to be married (like clearly could be someone’s mom or grandma) how you address her will depend on her social status. 

If she looks rich/noble/well-to-do -> default to “fu’ren” or “liao-fu’ren” if she looks elderly. 

If she looks poor/peasant, she can be addressed as Sister (大嫂， 大姐), Auntie (i.e. 大妈，大婶，大娘）or Grandma (阿婆，奶奶，婆婆) depending her age and the age of the speaker. It is very weird to call a peasant woman “fu’ren”, because the term fu’ren implies a certain social status and/or education level. 

@drwcn I did want to say a small thing in defense of MXTX re: Yu-fu’ren (also not intended to be rude!! you’re right that mdzs plays pretty fast and loose with titles, names, historical details etc. ><) but in the case of referring to her as Yu-fu’ren instead of Jiang-fu’ren, I do think that mxtx knew that was incorrect. In chapter 51, it says, “虞夫人就是江澄的母亲，虞紫鸢。当然，也是江枫眠的夫人，当初还曾是他的同修。照理说，应该叫她江夫人，可不知道为什么，所有人一直都是叫她虞夫人。有人猜是不是虞夫人性格强势，不喜冠夫姓。对此，夫妇二人也并无异议。”

loose tl for those who can’t read it (my sympathies, i too am struggling), “Yu-fu’ren was Jiang Cheng’s mother, Yu Ziyuan. Of course, she was also Jiang Fengmian’s wife [fu’ren], and once cultivated with him as well. By all reason, she should be called Jiang-fu’ren, but for some unknown reason, everyone had always called her Yu-fu’ren. Some guessed that perhaps because Yu-fu’ren had a forceful temperament, she disliked taking her husband’s name. Neither husband nor wife raised any objections to this.” (sorry this is clunky im v tired)

So it is a mistake, but an intentional one, I think! With regards to everything else though, I have almost zero expertise in the subject, and I’m grateful for the commentary!

Noragami

Given

Inuyasha

Free!

Yona of the dawn

Kamisama Hajimemashita

Kaichou wa Maid-sama

My Roommate Is a Cat

Kimetsu no Yaiba

Devilman: Crybaby