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going through the archive of art I haven't posted
was playing around with a traditional marker look and it transitioned into me spending an hour trying to draw fire lol
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whoops, fell off the face of the earth again (at least it wasn't for two years this time)
anyway it's march so I'm doing rain world art month :D
don't know how long I'll keep it up this time but we can see
Below the read more is a transcript of a 5 hour mostly one-sided conversation of me ranting about the au to my sibling, that they told me I should share. (omitting most of their commentary for pacing unless it's relevant)
It's under a read more because it's very long, almost 5k words of infodumping. If that's your thing, have fun! If it's not but you're still interested about the au, I intend to post more about in in the future, in what will (hopefully) be a more enjoyable format.
I will make another post later with my initial concept art/designs and some explanation of those as well
Also, if you have any questions or anything about the au, please send an ask, I love getting to talk about my ideas :D
tw for repeated mentions of self harm and dehumanization, also mention of bad touch event
TK:
yaya werewolves
Au where people from the island are werewolves
They view it as a blessing that connects them to the universe
but he forgor and is mentally ill ab hurting people bc its siffrin
also for the fun of it werewolves weren't completely forgotten bc they exist elsewhere (although in smaller numbers)
they're remembered better in places farther from the island
bc the werewolves there would be farther removed from their origin
also the king is a werewolf
i like to imagine hes in permanent wolf form (or partial wolf form) bc of his whole night sky frozen around him thing
also makes the siffrin torment nexus worse because whoopsie the house is in an artificial full moon state have fun with that :3
(he does not)
is it clear that i've thought about this a fair amount
I was like "nooo i don't need a werewolf au i have enough inhuman siffrin aus those are close enough"
"but what if" <- person who is very normal about werewolves
Lem:
you can never have too many inhuman siffrins
TK:
werewolves are so fun
also it fits with the whole universe thing of the island
also inhuman siffrin is just so fun
what if we gave this guy who has so many problems more problems
yaya for siffrin who fears abandonment and also closeness bc he doesn't want to hurt the people he cares about
imagining he like
bit someone as a kid
bc he didn't know better and that's how werewolves play and show affection
and then from then on he's super scared of himself
i like to think that there are remedies and stuff to prevent the bite from becoming infectious but they were forgotten (at least in places nearby) with the island
like damn the people at the house/orphanage/whatever had that on hand but couldn't remember to use it
crack idea: you now have an orphanage full of werewolf kids bc they saw one kid turn another into a werewolf and they all want to be one too
not canon to the au just funny
au timeline (in my head)
siffrin runs away from home the night before a full moon
next night a wolf pup in a boat washes up on shore
people go "what the fuck why is there a wolf pup in a boat"
then the wolf pup is a child
eventually gets brought to local house or orphanage or whatever
i like the idea that adults have a hard time remembering him bc he reminds them of the island
espec remembering wolf = child
i imagine werewolves can switch between forms at will
but not on a full moon
they're just wolf then
and it takes the most energy to maintain an 'inbetween' form (some wolf traits, some human traits)
and anyway
siffrin pup (probably not siffrin at this point tho) is playing with some of the other kids in wolf form
playfully nips one of them, accidentally bites a bit too deep
whoopsies now the other kid is a werewolf and it's your fault
siffrin when he realizes what happens runs away
bc its siffrin we're talking ab
(also sidenote i like to think that this kid, after the initial fear anger and confusion learns to cope better with being a werewolf than siffrin does)
he lives alone after that, mostly hunting as a wolf for food
also probably stealing and begging bc he's a child thats not sustainable
as he gets older, he travels around
visits other places and learns a bit about werewolves
particularly very stilted views from people who do not like them
because unfortunately for him the people who remember them the most are the people who have the least connection to their culture
at some point in another place far from the island he meets another werewolf
someone who was turned into one unwillingly
siffrin's view of themself as a horrible monster gets worsened/validated
they offer him some 'supplies'
restraints made of/coated in silver
tells him that they should use them if "they're one of the good ones"
he takes them, but doesn't use them for a while
instead they continue their usual thing of staying away from civilization whenever a full moon is near
but they always keep the 'supplies' on them
just in case
before long, they're back in vaugarde
and not long after that, the country begins freezing in time
siffrin, being a depressed self deprecating idiot goes "guess I'll die"
"this place is nice, and it's not like I have anywhere else to go."
he probably helps other people traveling to escape the freezing country but doesn't go himself bc he feels it would be selfish to 'take the place of someone who has something to live for'
we don't know in the games why exactly he stayed in the country but i don't feel like this would be ooc for him
especially a version of him with extra lowered self worth
he spends his time fighting sadnesses and clearing paths, helping other people make it through the apocalypse while remaining overall a loner
he wouldn't want to intrude on anyone after all, and it's not like he could stay with them for long
and then, he meets Mirabelle and the others
helps them with the sadness they're fighting
and when she asks him to join
so honestly and earnestly wanting him,
needing his help?
who would he be to say no to that?
it's not like he had anything better to do
and if he really would be of use in saving the country, why wouldn't he try?
and when the next full moon nears, he realizes something
he can't leave them behind
they were so kind to him, and they needed any of the help they could get
it would be so cruel to agree to help them and then just run away
but he didn't trust himself around them in his other form
but he did have something
so on the evening of the next full moon, once camp was set but before the moon was out, he slipped away into the forest, with a bag of silver supplies that he was glad that he had kept
he wraps the chains around himself as he had been instructed
and he waits
the silver burns everywhere it touches, but he tells himself it's the price he has to pay
it becomes much worse once he shifts into his wolf form
then, the chains which sat loose around his body were tight, digging into his larger form
his mind, in it's altered state, though it knew that he chose this, that is was to protect the others, didn't care as much, didn't understand as much why it was happening
so you have a miserable wolf, howling and whining into the night, waiting for the pain to end while vaguely knowing that it did this to himself
siffrin, in the morning, no longer a wolf, goes "yay i didn't hurt anyone" ignores the sheer amount of physical and emotional pain that caused him
he gathers up his chains, puts his clothing back on, glad that it hides the wounds from the chains
(sidenote, his cloak and hat are crafted to transform with him when he transforms into wolf but his other clothes are not and would rip)
Lem:
oughhh ok so probably unintentional but that specific wording hurts me because he doesn't see himself as part of anyone or at least anyone important agnd :sifWibbly:
killing him with the lasers btw
TK:
yeah that was unintentional but yeah he doesn't
'my own pain is meaningless in the face of other's pain'
after this, he heads back to camp
isabeau is awake, sitting worried by the fire (whoopsies)
was initially going to say they were all awake but i figured it's early enough they wouldn't be
isabeau sees sif, goes "where were you i was worried something had happened"
siffrin brushes it off "dw ab it, i took a walk and fell asleep in a tree"
"it happens sometimes, don't worry about me"
"i'll be fine"
isabeau looks skeptical, but doesn't push
Lem:
as you do
TK:
tbh they probably have seen siffrin sleep in trees at some point
and he probably mentioned it as an anecdote when he was talking about traveling
Lem:
ok actuallu yeah siffrin does fall asleep in trees you're right
TK:
Isa: "just, try not to do that in the future? or tell someone first?"
siffrin's sudden disappearances lend to several odile sus points
she mentions them in her drunken conversation with isa
over the next few months, they continue this pattern
disappearing the night of the full moon, tying themself up miserably, and returning in the morning, exhausted the next day
the others all know something's going on, but with knowledge ab werewolves being kinda hard to remember/focus on (especially for vaugardians which 2 of the 3 of them are) even over a decade later, nobody is able to figure it out exactly without seeing it directly
it also doesn't help that odile is focusing on 'that's suspicious behavior' rather than 'hmm werewolf?'
Lem:
she has no reason to think hes a werewolf atp though
TK:
tbh there are some signs pointing towards it
Lem:
ok but i also dont know if its a reasonable conclusion to jump to immediately
TK:
(siffrin disappears on full moon nights, they hear miserable wolf noises somewhere relatively close by, only on those nights, he reappears in the morning, looking exhausted and miserable but pretending he's fine)
Lem:
ok i was going to ask if they heard him at all
TK:
yeah he's not exactly being quiet
Lem:
whhhich would be a much bigger clue
TK:
i also like to imagine he just accidentally makes wolf noises sometimes
instead of the nya he yowls
whines like a dog begging isa for food sometimes without realizing it
growls at sadnesses
i think mirabelle, the only one who has seen the wolf king, is probably closest to the truth
but never says anything ab it bc that's not her place
isabeau finds these traits very cute and endearing
the part that's rough with this is i think it only happens ab like 4-6 times total
not really enough to establish a pattern
especially when it's a month apart each time
odile is suspicious after the first time he disappears, and only grows more suspicious after
not sure how much exactly i want them to know ab the king's powers/connection to the moon, but if that realization is there, by the third time she's very suspicious with his timing
also with the knowledge of the king being a humanoid wolf… the wolf noises only add to her suspicion
she can be very smart but can also jump to fucking wild conclusions
"what the fuck is he doing with those wolves?"
"is he doing some ritual to power the king?"
sus
i just find odile being wildly offbase and thinking hes like
torturing wolves or something (which i guess technically…)
really funny
especially because when she finds out the truth she'd feel both really embarrassed and really bad about it
actually, i think it'd probably be isabeau
mirabelle is also close to realizing though
but isabeau pays so much attention to siffrin
he notices how Creature they are
looks at their extra sharp teeth and slightly off eyes
the little animalistic noises and behaviors they exhibit
how they only hear that crying wolf on the nights siffrin disappears
how it always shows up when they disappear
how it always sounds nearby
how it only started after he joined
isabeau is hoping he's wrong, but suspecting more and more each time they hear it that that noise is siffrin
only exacerbated when odile brings it up to him that she thinks the noises are related to him (although her suspicions are wildly different and completely baffle him)
but anyway
after a few months together, siffrin finds bonnie
not completely solid on it, but i think the inceyedent is when they figure out the whole werewolf thing
Lem:
inc eye dent...
TK:
:3
regardless of if everyone else figures it out (which i think they do) bonnie definitely finds out
it's a day like any other
the party is setting up camp
bonnie is prepping food, siffrin is setting up the fire, someone's going to the river to gather water, the other two are setting up tents
when a sadness appears
it's fast, faster than most of them
and it's going for Bonnie
siffrin's both the closest and the fastest
but he wouldn't be fast enough
without hesitating, without thinking about it, he turns into a wolf and shoves them out of the way, taking the hit instead
a really unlucky shot directly taking out his eye
but better his eye than their throat
he goes down for a moment, but gets back up and rips the sadness to shreds
and then he turns around, shakily to go and check on bonnie, who is lying on the ground watching in a mix of horror and amazement
horror because "oh crab they're bleeding really badly"
amazement bc
well
if you were a child and saw someone you already looked up to turn into a fucking wolf and maul the creature attacking you you'd probably think that was pretty fucking cool too
the others see some part of this too, but nobody but bonnie sees him transform initially
Lem:
i would also think it was awesome if someone turned into a wolf and mauled the thing attacking me
TK:
yeah
the rest of them i think look over at the moment bonnie screams out "FRIN!" after the sadness gets him
except for isa who was out of camp but still arrives in time to watch wolffrin maul the shit out of that sadness
and then collapse after checking on bonnie to make sure they're okay
after which he transforms back
which breaks the others all out of their shock of "WOLF?????"
and they immediately go rush to help
TK:
bluescreen isa
he's processing a lot here
there's a lot of "what the crab" going on in there
"is that sif?"
"wait is he injured?"
"WAIT IS THAT SIF???"
"OUPPY???????"
"STRONG AS CRAB OUPPY???????"
and then also the dots from earlier things connecting with the
"oh crab it has been him crying miserably those nights he disappeared"
"is he okay??? what is happening with him??? for how long????? wait crab he's bleeding out right now"
also more benign "i guess that explains the growling/yowling/teef/eyes"
and all of the others having their own independent versions of this
with odile feeling very very foolish after realizing "shit he's a werewolf. oh gems he's a werewolf. oh i feel so bad for assuming all those things about him. he's been struggling, not scheming. how did i overlook this"
and mirabelle horror fan going "WOOAAAH"
idealization of siffrin increased
+cool and mysterious points
but then her immediately feeling bad for that being her reaction to this because "that's my friend, who is badly injured right now i should not be thinking of them as a storybook character"
anyway, afterwards they all rush to help him/bonnie however they can
Mirabelle does her best, but they quickly realize it's beyond her expertise, so they prep him as well as they can to travel
the nearest town is still several hours away, so isabeau and mirabelle go ahead to get him there as fast as possible while bonnie and odile pack up the camp before following
he's very out of it during the trip, going in and out of consciousness the whole time, mumbling barely coherently asking about "if the pup is okay"
also he's whining like a dog and nuzzling into isa's body whenever he's awake
very wolf brained the time, would be very embarrassed later if he remembered it
isa found it somewhat cute but also very concerning
oughrgh i just thought of something
since odile and bonnie are the ones packing up camp and gathering everyone's supplies (minus whatever important stuff mira and isa were able to grab)
there's a good chance she found sif's werewolf 'supplies'
in which she would be fucking horrified
especially bc there's a good chance they'd be at least somewhat bloody bc he doesn't exactly get a chance to clean them
Lem:
oughghhhhh
also id think its pretty likely theyd find some part of whatever burns or welts or whatever the fuck was left on them by the silver while tending to their wounds which ow. .
TK:
yeahh
espec bc i was thinking the previous full moon would have been somewhat recent
as a way to give siffrin a break so they aren't going full werewolf while in recovery
Odile: "this bag is suspiciously heavy. I don't think I've ever actually seen them open it? what could they possibly be carrying around???"
Odile: peeks inside
Odile: +10 guilt points
Odile: realizes this is the bag she's seen them carrying back with them when returning from their full moon excursions
then she's stuck with the choice of what to do with this information
neither option looks great
*change in topic that I will get back to later (adhd moment)*
anyway werewolf culture interlude over
back to our previously scheduled programming of siffrin suffering
suffrin if you will
Lem:
i will
TK:
odile is stuck with the choice of leave the stuff behind and take away what siffrin definitely considered a safety net if not an absolute necessity, and also show that she betrayed siffrin's trust when he was vulnerable
or to pretend she saw nothing, and allow siffrin to keep torturing themself while she sits in silence, perfectly aware of what they're doing
there's also the middle ground option, where she brings the chains but tells them she saw them and tries to get them to stop
not sure which one she'd do
bc part of me wants to say she'd leave them, cut off the bandage and stop letting them hurt themself, even if it gets her their ire and loses her their trust
she's generally not very delicate with these things, and instead rushes in with whatever she feels is best
but she would also likely realize that this situation is delicate, and likely needs more tact than she generally can give it
plus i don't know if she'd know enough about werewolves to know whether or not it was justified
I think what happens is she takes it with and gives it to isabeau to deal with
who delicately brings it up with siffrin
who freaks the fuck out
and begs him to let him keep them because he doesn't want to hurt any of them
he's so normal
nobody else is happy with this
all of them could hear him crying in pain those nights
mira and isa saw his wounds from the chains
actually for that matter bonnie probably saw them too when he transformed
odile to a lesser extent too
who also would have seen the bloodied chains alongside isa
the group obviously isn't going to go "yeah okay sure sounds good go chain yourself up in the woods miserably alone"
but siffrin is going to be hard to convince to do anything else
especially because none of the others know what they're talking about
and siffrin at this point doesn't remember what happened as a kid, it's been a decade at this point and their memory was never good to begin with
but they know it happened
they remember that they hurt someone
the details have gotten muddied over the years, but they've spent so long internalizing that they hurt someone, that they're a monster, that it would take a lot to get them to believe otherwise
their imagination of what might've happened is definitely much worse than what it actually was, from years of memory telephone and a worsening perception of themself and what they are
siffrin: "i hurt someone… i don't remember the exact details, but i could never forget the fear and anger on that kid's face when he realized what happened to them" thinking they fucking attacked and mauled a kid, leaving them a werewolf
what really happened: playful nip to the hand drew blood, whoops, kid's now a werewolf
siffrin is really freaked out by the idea of being near anyone as a werewolf and not being restrained
at this point it's been about half a year since they let themself just be a wolf
and they haven't encountered people as a wolf in longer than they can remember (not counting the recent bonnie thing)
so they're completely convinced that they're a dangerous monster who's going to kill someone
when the worst thing they've done is accidentally bite someone while playing
which, yeah, had pretty bad consequences
but also they definitely have (or should have) better bite control as an adult
i think isabeau manages to convince siffrin to let him come with him on the next full moon, just so he's not alone
siffrin is very apprehensive about it, but eventually agrees bc he's never managed to get out of the chains before, so as long as isa stays out of biting range he should be fine
so next full moon comes around, siffrin is healed enough that they're able to travel by this point
isabeau joins them in their self imposed exile
siffrin ties himself up, isabeau asks how much of it's really necessary, and siffrin just kinda goes quiet
then isabeau watches the most horrific painful looking transformation as siffrin's body contorts itself painfully against the chains
he can see them already digging, burning into siffrin's body, but he told siffrin he wouldn't do anything, and he didn't want to go against his trust like that
and then wolf siffrin looks at him with the saddest fucking eyes
*eye actually
TK:
uh anyways wolf frin looks at isabeau with the saddest fucking expression, making the saddest fucking patheticest sopping wet dog sounds
holy shit i just realized ive been ranting to you ab wolf frin for the past fucking four and a half hours
anyway continuing
wolf frin is stuck between knowing that they didn't want isabeau here for his safety
but also he can see him! and he's here! and he's safe! yaya! maybe the pain is worth it!
between crying and whimpering in pain he's calling out happily to isa and trying to get him to come closer and cuddle him (not that isa can understand bc he's not a werewolf)
eventually isabeau gives in to the puppy dog eyes and goes closer to siffrin who just starts wagging his tail
wolf siffrin does not understand his reasoning as a human. why should isa stay away? he can protect him better if he's close? and if he's close they can cuddle and be happy
isabeau, still not sure exactly what to do, but wanting to comfort siffrin while not making him angry in the morning, carefully approaches him away from his face where he couldn't get bitten and sits by siffrin's hind legs
siffrin uses the limited movement they have to lean into him
they sit like this for the rest of the night
when siffrin turns back he starts freaking out
bc what the hell why was isa so close they could've hurt him
isa reassures him that he was careful and that siffrin never even tried to make a move to hurt him
and that siffrin should try to consider that he might not be as dangerous as he thought
siffrin does start to reconsider a bit
but unfortunately for them, next up is the torment nexus
and like in many aus, it's even worse for him :D
the king, like i think i mentioned ab 5 hours ago, has his timecraft frozen night sky around him
which is frozen in a version of the sky with the full moon, giving him extra power
it's not quite the same as the full moon, as it's not the real thing and not as powerful
but it still has similar effects
so siffrin gets to explore the house, with a diluted version of the full moon bearing down on him, as he desperately tries not to turn into a monster the whole time :D
instead of getting instantly filled with power and forcefully turned into werewolf when entering the range of the king's influence, instead he gets to slowly and painstakingly transform step by step as he fights to hold back as much of the transformation as long as possible :D
going to reiterate the sad wolffrin face here bc i think it's fitting
he is not having a fun time in the timeloops :D
loop timeline: they manage to get into the habit of fighting it down and manage to avoid most of the transformation for the bulk of their loops
i don't think they ever end up accidentally hurting any of the family members, although they always fear that they will and believe the only reason it hasn't happened yet is because they've kept themself from going 'too far'
i don't have too much thought out ab the actual loops
although siffrin probably in addition to the wishcraft books finds some werewolf books (yaya he can learn about the anti-werewolf bite medicine somewhere)
also act 5 king fight he just straight up turns into a wolf and fights the king like that (still loses tho, which yeah, the king is several times his size and your jaws are going to struggle to get through that armor even if you use them to Just Attack)
and also Bad Touch
he just straight up bites isabeau
wolf brain and human brain get a little mixed up and he just chomps down on isa's shoulder instead of kissing him
this obv freaks siffrin the hell out bc "WHY DID I BITE HIM WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME"
i like to imagine that werewolves are just affectionately very bitey
doesn't matter too much with other werewolves, generally you don't bite hard enough to break skin, and if you do it'll heal very quickly
humans tho… softer skin, easier to break, permanent consequences if you do and don't know how to treat it
only upside is you won't have to worry about not making that mistake again if you do fuck it up /j
also mal du pays is either just straight up wolf form or anthro wolf like the king
double edged bc siffrin both fears the wolf side + has lost it's connection to home
its the main thing connecting him to what he has lost but he has lost so much that he can't even appreciate it still being there
ok now that i've been talking for over 5 hours and it's 2 am i think imma go to sleep
*and now we return to the earlier werewolf culture intermission*
TK:
sorry just spent like 10 minutes thinking ab werewolf culture
i think instead of having specific distinctions between friends and family, they think of people in their sphere as varying levels/versions of 'pack' or 'packmates'
with little to no distinction between bio family and close friends
with close family and friends, the people you care the most about and generally interact the most with in your daily life being considered pack/close pack
the people those people consider pack/close pack that you don't consider pack would be secondary pack
they're people you still care about, especially because of the close community nature of the island/werewolf culture, but they aren't directly your pack
then there's acquaintances, the people you interact with and like and care about, but not on the level you'd consider pack, would be tertiary or outside pack
like work friends/colleagues
or people in your neighborhood that you see on the street frequently
if that system makes sense
is much of this relevant to the story? probably not bc it was erased from everyone's minds
but it still exists in some written works so have fun rediscovering your forgotten culture siffrin!
and also loop
unfortunately there was very little documentation of their culture by outsiders bc of how insulated the community was
there was interaction with others (mostly vaugarde) but information was often limited and much was kept secret
and although they couldn't completely hide the fact that they were werewolves and those existed (all it takes is a couple people leaving the island) they still did their best to keep it under wraps as much as possible
__________
Final notes:
Okay, I didn't realize how ridiculously long this was until I spent about three hours making this post.
This is embarrassingly longer than any fic I've written, which is not saying much, but is still something...
If you actually read this whole thing, wow! Here's a picture of my dog.
If you are looking for requests, could you please draw the knight hiding in the closet at the end of chapter 4? I think it would be funny.
I know they probably don't look like this in the light world but the image of them trying to not get found in a messy closet is funny to me
also transparent alt without the stuff covering them
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming