β i refuse to listen to reason, i have to listen to so much already. β
β if i was famous i would just knock on peopleβs doors and be like hello, yes, itβs me. β
*eats a snack while looking for a better snack*
β taking a nap is always so risky like when will i wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 3 years? β
β iβm wiping the slate clean, so i have somewhere to spill all the blood of everyone who has ever wronged me. β
β horrified that other people have decided to leave their house tonight. β
β to me, the cookie jar is the modern day treasure chest, and you donβt have to brush offΒ any skeletons to get to it. β
β my morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired i am.Β β
β grab your own butt. love yourself. β
β on the moon if you donβt like something you can just throw it upwards into space. on earth if you try to do that the enemy known as gravity gets in the way. β
β my stress stresses me out to the point where iβm too stressed to deal with my stress. β Β
β donβt worry, password. iβm insecure too. β
β i should have thought about that? you know i donβt think about things. β
β when you live the bart life you say βwhoa, mamaβ to the good and βay, carambaβ to the bad. β
β i got 99 problems but iβm gonna take a nap and ignore them all. βΒ
β i love the sound you make when you shut the fuck up. β
β everythingβs my fault when you just look at the facts and information.Β β Β
β why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone. βΒ Β Β
β do you like bad boys?Β βcause iβm bad at everything.Β β
β i never argue. i just explain why iβm right. β
β if robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, iβd just laugh and search with them. β Β
β if your family members share one of those articles about how millennials canβt do anything right, consider countering by sharing the page of a below average nursing home or even just a photo of bones with the caption: sooner than you think. β
β yeah, baby, i am an animal in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day. β Β
β can i sell my feelings on ebay. i donβt want them anymore. β
β coffee is just baby formula for adults. βΒ
β i think i speak for all of us, just in general. βΒ Β
β i get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions.Β β
β can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? β
β do not beef shame me. β
β later is the best time to do anything. β
β trying to decide if i should spend my evening reading a book or browsing social media for two hours in stomach churning guilt while thinking about how i should read a book. β
β if you cannot handle me at my worst, that is fine. i am a powerful and terrifying thing and all should live in fear. β
β people pretending to be cats is fine and cool but if some sort of huge animal wanted to pretend to be people then everyone is all, βplease leave the bankβ. β
β are you bad wifi βcause iβm feeling no connection here. β
β in the mood for a hug and 69 chicken nuggets. β
β some times you spend so much time getting revenge you forget about getting retribution. β Β
β never underestimate yourself. but also do not overestimate yourself, thatβs bad too. β
β you will never be a billionaire but thereβs still time to see what they taste like. β Β
β i donβt say this to everyone but i will barn shuffle dance on your grave. β
β they will never do a live action reboot of your childhood. β
β i could learn a thing or two from this? thanks for the warning, i will avoid it. β
β you would think that wouldnβt you, always with your thinking things. thatβs what separates me from you, the thinking. β
β iβm putting free wifi on my gravestone so people will come visit me. β
β sea shells, or the beachβs potato chips, are free to anyone who can find them. β Β
β learning is the foolβs errand. β
β is your name dunkinβ because i donut want to spend another day without you. β
2087
germansingergirl
izzy806
gummygunk
