Just saw a Reddit post where somebody was asking what everybody's favourite Dess fan designs were, and I saw that my design was included in the lineup! Which was pretty crazy cause I'm used to not being included in discussions of favourite Dess design/interpretation in the wider fandom.
...I then saw a comment specifically saying they liked every other design EXCEPT mine.
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…Because of crippling procrastination. Let’s start with introductions. Tess, would you be a dear and come forward?
“No. Not feeling like [One Meeeeleeeon Dollaarrs~] today boss.”
Te- bruh. You’re the mascot just get the fu- sounds of a slight scuffle and some furniture being thrown around
Ta-da! Everybody say hello to our very own Tess Donna! Art supplied on request by the very talented user @torchrandom go give them love and support. Tess! Anything to say to the audience?
“I would [ra-ther die]”
Tess I swear to god just… get in this box we have a demonstration to do. Update details below the cut.
Muffled sounds of complaint
Now that Tess is sporting the beta design of an in-game unit token, let’s get to talking about some of the ailments you can expect to see in Keen Original Fighter Tour
The Slowed ailment
“W-h-y… i-s… e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g… s-o… f-a-s-t-?”
This ailment has been reworked since its debut in KOFTournament. Originally it was a turn-skipping ailment with worse luck for heavier armors. Now, it cuts your speed stat by three points, reducing your overall movement in battle. Slowed will also have a unique mechanic for shaking off where; instead of rolling to remove it, you spend a turn making zero movement and choosing to convert your action into a reaction. Taking this passive approach to your turn will guarantee its removal. However, when AFTERSlowed; you cannot move at all on the first turn of effects, your speed penalty increases from three to four, and the ailment is immune to the normal method of shaking it off (items still work though).
The Confused ailment
“What in the [by boogity] is going on here?! Did you scramble my [trumpet honk] circuits boss?!?!”
Confusion remains largely unchanged from its OG version. The dice rolled has simply changed to a d% instead of a standard d10, but you will still hit yourself while attacking by rolling lower than a 50%. The OVERConfused ailment only changes the standard one by dealing 1d4 damage to yourself when your successful roll is between 50% and 70%.
The Bleeding ailment
“What on god’s green [DIC Productions] are you- OW! You stabbed me like a pincushion! Now I’m [‘tis but a scratch]!”
Bleeding is a new ailment introduced for Keen Original Fighter Tour. Bleeding has you take 1 damage at the start of your turn for each turn you’ve been bleeding (1 on the first, 2 on the second, so-on and so-forth), and will reduce your vigor and endurance stats by 1. When OVERBleeding, any damage type that you would take normally is now considered potent damage, and resisted damage will be taken as standard damage.
The Drenched ailment
Sounds of aggravated struggling and lots of waterboarding
The Drenched ailment is a mix of old and new. Like before, your agility stat is reduced by 2 and you take 2 extra damage from Shock attacks. A new effect is that when you make movement, you are affected by slippery terrain conditions (think ice physics in puzzles, but there is a punishment if you run out of movement before stopping). OVERDrenched is still a rough ailment, because you are so bogged down with moisture that your character’s typing is overridden to only Tidal. Because your elemental balance is so unstable; Shock damage replaces the ailment with Paralysis, Chill damage makes you Frozen, and Light damage causes Blindness.
And that’s the update! Credits for references below.
Tess artwork by user @torchrandom, you can find their art at @torchsartblog
Ailment artwork by user @beef-chuck
Tess pop-culture references in-order
Dr. Evil - Austin Powers
“I Would Rather” - Artist is Jazz Emu
Toadbert - Mario & Luigi rpg series
Doot meme
DIC children’s entertainment company: broadcast logo meme
It sucks how people are using the Pink dialogue to just make shit up Abt spamton and ignore a trans woman character being relevant and important to the plot and narrative when he wasn't even MENTIONED in the new dialogue and has never interacted with friend canonically and is clearly not in hiding and such shit. And it sucks both for the reason of this is such an insane backflip to do just to ignore transwomen characters (which is a really big problem than anything else I'm gonna say here) but also bc Pink and Spamton DO have parallels that are facsisnating and important to talk about that perfectly show how Pink is breaking the cycle of lost dreams and becoming happy. And it once again sucks bc it's so clear how misogynistic the deltarune fandom is ESPECIALLY transmisognystic
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I've defeated all of the extra difficult baddies pre-patch (Eram/Johnny Mantle, The Knight, Pink/Mew Mew, Flowery), I've got access to some of the best gear in the game (BlackShard, Shadow Mantle, Hammer of Justice, Mannequin, all of the Flowers' gear, not to mention that one bowtie fusion), and I've got enough Determination (or spite) to keep at it before patching my game.
Lowkey I know it won't happen because games typically don't do this anymore but I'd love it if Deltarune has like a post-game update that just sorta adds an arena. Or if that was even just part of Chapter 7 post-game before we seal the Grand Fountain or something. Mainly because I'd love an excuse to fight the main & secret bosses again in some fashion that doesn't require having to have save files for every major fight.
Yeah yeah yeah happy birthday or whatever America, go back to being cool (as in stop being straight up evil) and cool (as in I needs these wildfires to stop and people to not set off as many fireworks tonight pls ffs)
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A She(lly) upon ye! I’ve been tweaking how I use my digital art station and wanted to remake Shelly with my new technique/style
Now that we’re past the cut, here’s a fun fact about entropy worms in my canon. In the Multiverse of multiverses, branching timelines and realities are endless and can lead to clutter when they die out. With infinite existence in an infinite quantity, it could be trouble when a young timeline branches into an old dead one, so to keep infinity sustainable, entropy worms were made. These extra dimensional critters feed on the energy of reality; things like time, heat, light, sound, motion, willpower, and creativity are all forms of energy that entropy worms can eat for their bodily function. Larger worms have grown from consuming realities and timelines (and usually manifest on a size able to consume entire stars whole), while smaller ones have consumed only a few star-systems worth of energy (these manifest at the size of common earth insects). Entropy worms consume energy through physical contact and are sensitive enough to consume even the energy found in cosmic background radiation. Because of this, they are very cold to the touch, unless you have earned their trust.
Entropy worms are usually long and tubular in shape, but can use their energy to distort their bodies: causing stretching, shrinking, morphing shape, etc. One important note is that they will sometimes form a hardened mass when enough energy is stored within their bodies. With this extra energy, an entropy worm can either molt and grow into the next stage of life, or reproduce asexually by discarding the mass which will eventually hatch into a baby entropy worm after an aeon or two.
Entropy worms are a form of detritivore for existence but don’t really have any natural predators. On some occasions a creature that may have found divine power can kill one, but usually doing that will draw the ire of… other… beings. When an entropy worm usually finds itself towards the end of its natural lifespan, it will surrender itself into the energy contained within and sacrifice itself to spawn a new multiverse never seen before.
Oh yeah I win btw, Jevil gets two (count 'em, 2) references on the main path btw whereas Spamton gets nothing (no his Ralsei ReviveSong cameo doesn't count and everything in Castle Town is optional, it doesn't count, let me fucking have this!)
Y'know, very difficult and a bit lacking compared to the expectations coming off Chapter 4, but I'd say that Chapter 5 was really fun! And honestly that ending was incredibly heartwarming & rather uplifting all things considered!!
How about you, Weird Routers, y'all having fun over there? :)
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