something obscure or something

idk I’m burnt out and just trying to process what has been going on

I think this sort of social exhaustion and ambient frustration is high risk because I can very easily fall into dynamics where I am constantly antagonized because I am really in my own world and miss a lot of jabs until later and because in the moment I can always hold my own—I respond to the jabs in good faith and shut down the conversation, and if I have to fight I will fight. So I proceed as if it’s “fine” but then I look up after months of this and my energy is damaged, I’m tired, my mind races, I can’t be present and grounded in the way I want. It’s easy to slip into this but the truth is I am not honoring my self by allowing access to negative actors, monitoring spirits, suburbanites, haters, losers, flops, etc.

there are people out there who are naturally good at talking and making friends and standing normally and i think they should be systematically oppressed, even tortured

Back in the middle ages i was being made fun of so i hided under a bridge