Annihilated

in the summertime of -21 when not all hope was lost

And I wish I could be clean again no matter what it cost

I wish I could be whole again

though I've always felt I'm not

know that I'm already gone

There has been so many mistakes

I never should have done

I tried to heal

and be a better version of myself

It didn't work and at this point

I'm ashamed to ask for help

All these years I lost

were the most important ones

and this pain behind my chest,

it burns like thousand suns

Everyday I lay in bed,

feeling so withdrawn,

so pelase dont wonder why

I know I shouldn't have come here

But I got nowhere to go

I know I shouldn’t call after dark anymore

But I got no one

I was fine but then she crossed my mind and I can't let her go

Her name on my computer screen that day just took me by surprise

And every memory I had of her flashed before my eyes

She is kind and she's unique, she's so soft it makes me weak

She can change my darkest days and make me feel so good

I don't know if she knows but though she seems so though sometimes,

she is still the sweetest woman with the most beautiful eyes

If I had no memory, if I didn't hear, if I didn't see or feel I'd still know when she's near

Now I can feel her presence even if she is not here

How can I move on

there is someone watching me

Sometimes I get so lost and cold

that there is no relief

But everyday I'm so grateful

for the things I have

And everyday I feel like

If I break your heart, it's a tragedy

If you break my heart, it’s a fallacy

I won't soothe your pain

I won't ease your strain

You'll be waiting in vain

This is how the world is

This is how they suck you in

Manipulate the broken

To suffer every consequence

They gave me a machine gun

But I don’t wanna hurt no one

There's nothing here to fight for

Or did I do this to myself?

I'm sure if I haven't met you

I would be someone else

You were there when I was broken

but I'm not sure how you fit the pieces

into this mess

How you found all the wrong pieces

but the right places when I needed it

And now I can't sleep

and when I daydream

I always dream about you

I've been getting lost all my life

I'll be there as soon as I can

But I'm busy mending broken

Pieces of the life I had before

'cause I knew your favorite color was red

With all the tears that I've shed

I wrote you letters I never sent

Time after time I close my eyes

and I'm dreaming of your touch

If it wasn't love

then how the hell