One detail I loved in the MCU is the very clear differences between the lifestyles/resources superhero’s have compared to vigilantes.
This forms the base of so many of my head-cannons, I love how they don’t just make vigilantes be superheroes who work alone.
I love how they make it clear that No we do not in fact have a seven million dollar high tech SHEILD issued jet. We live in New York and are illegally beating the shit out of people until they confess to crimes. Stop telling people we’re superheroes because we’re not. We have warrants out for our arrest. We are actively trespassing on private property. Nobody call me an ambulance I don’t care that there’s a gaping hole in my stomach, just dunk me in the Hutson river or drop me in a dumpster, an off duty nurse will find me eventually.
They don’t do team ups, they have the misfortune of being in the same place at the same time and for one reason or another not being able to immediately evacuate in opposite directions
I’m barely even exaggerating this is just how New Yorks street levels operate. They all have 13 dollars in their bank accounts collectively and take turns with the singular metro card Peter got issued by Midtown high. They don’t have each other’s phone numbers but usually if you turn on the news you’ll see one of them causing unprecedented amounts of property damage. Nobody considers them self a hero or vigilante, they all have an identity crisis once a week. No one has any form of transportation ever.
Spider-Man’s like 15. He can’t even drive, he’s throwing chemicals that he hides under his locker at school into wrist watches and flinging himself off buildings. The one time we did see him drive is when he stole his classmates car during a homecoming dance and crashed it into twelve different things. On the same night he broke a school bus and crashed a plane. A week before that he cut a ferry in half. Spider-Man is not allowed to be near automobiles. He dumpster dives for his loot to make gear and smacks alien technology with hammers during robotics club to see what will happen.
Daredevil, Jessica jones and Luke Cage sat on a subway side by side so they could go blow up a building together. It’s the dead of night and the police are looking for them. Jessica stole beer from a random guy on the way there. Matt’s not even in costume this time, all three just broke out of jail and everyone thinks they kidnapped the blind lawyer. They are all so so broke.
Deadpool just has a guy he calls who owns a taxi. That’s literally it. I’m not even sure how often he pays the guy but Dopinder gets him from point A to point B without complaint. He lives with Blind Al and makes money by being a mercenary at a sketchy fake bar. The X-man academy won’t accept him and he’s banned off the property. He commits crimes and the NYPD has resolved to just ignoring him because they think he’s an attention seeking brat who will stop terrorizing New York if they give him the silent treatment.
Both the Hawkeyes take the metro. No we don’t have a safe house but we’re crashing in Kate’s apartment until she stops getting targeted by the tracksuit mafia. We also need to walk the dog but that’s besides the point so instead we will be competing for our vigilante suit back in a LARPing event. additionally we are going to hit kingpin with our car and bounce because we need to make it home in time for Christmas.
Frank castle just steals cars. Like on a regular basis. Everyone thinks he’s dead and the guy is causally growing a beard so he can resume his typical activities. At any point in time there’s a 40% chance he’s faking his death or breaking out of jail. He’s probably the only person on this list doing the whole undercover thing right since he actually has safe houses and formal training but he’s also equally as likely to just freestyle it. Frank just walks away from police officers and just says “you do what you gotta do” as if he’s not about to get a bullet to the head. and somehow this works and the federal agents don’t shoot him???
Everyone avoids everyone else like the plague, they always argue about everything and someone always end up hurt or dying or in jail or all of the above. Two of these people make eyes contact and it’s just ten seconds of silence and pathetic disappointed sighs
They are all unfortunately connected by some cruel thread in the universe that makes them run into each other a concerning amount of the time.
Spider-Man goes dumpster diving and finds Matt inside bleeding out. Jessica goes for a stroll and ends up dragging Luke out of a river. Frank ends up fighting with Deadpool over who can get to a target before the other screws up their job. They all make fun of Team Red for having costumes and Spider-Man actually gets self conscious about his outfit. Matt walks into to court and walks directly out again after realizing he has to defend Deadpool. Frank castle spends ten minutes squinting at Spider-Man who’s trying to convince him why killing is bad but gets sidetracked and is now showing him the EPIC musical. Luke cage opens a bar and immediately bans all of them. Not one of them cares that they got banned so they all show up anyway. Peter goes to a press conference to take photos for the daily bugal and somehow ends up on a committing corporate espionage with Kate Bishop. Matt Murdock is at the jail precinct for a case and has to act as if he can’t sense Spider-Man crawling on the walls trying to steal files off an officers desk 20 feet away. Luke needs medical attention and goes to Claire’s places only to get offended by the fact Matt is already bleeding out on her carpet. Nobody has any idea what Wade is doing and nobody wants to know.
Spider-Man and Clint Barton are the only Avengers so they pretend not to know each other because whatever they did last week while in a pinch does NOT need to get brought up in front of Captain America and Thor.
None of them use the terminology “patrol” or “hero” or “mission” they just show up to do whatever it is their doing and get ten times more exasperated when they notice the others.
Nobody knows why these vigilantes are so venomously against being in the same place for more then five minutes but these occasions have been caught on video ( news stations, CCTV, random vlogs, teenagers snap stories)
• Spider-Man and Daredevil are separately chasing kingpins henchmen and end up meeting face to face at a fork in the road. Nobody moves for a few moments before they wordlessly play rock paper scissors. Between Peter’s Spidey Sense and Matt’s radar ability’s they end up getting throwing the same thing eleven times in a row.
• Luke Cage is seen opening his bar, he turns the neon light open sign on before Jessica jones comes flying through the glass display window. Luke slowly blinks refusing to look behind him before turning the neon sign off and walking out and away from the vicinity.
• Deadpool is banging on the entrance to the main doors of the avengers compound demanding to be let in while security forms an unsure circle around him. Clint Barton walks towards the entrance from across the street, Deadpool moves out of the way calmly, Clint doesn’t speak but nods in acknowledgment as he uses his keycard to enter. Deadpool waits for him to be a few feet inside the building before resuming his antics.
• Tony Stark finally decides to introduce Peter to the rest of the avengers, Peter is not taking that mask off he does not give a flying fuck about the accords. Tony is introducing him to the others individually going door by door so not to overwhelm Peter. Spider-Man is not overwhelmed he just wants to go home and stop being presented to the Avengers like a girl scout asking for donations. Hawkeye opens his door and sees Spider-Man is all his exasperated glory. He slams the door directly in Spider-Man’s face. Tony is standing behind Spider-Man absolutely baffled. Spider-Man assures Tony this is a justifiable reaction to his presence.
• Frank castle goes to walk his dog, Kate bishop is also walking her dog. They are walking on the same path from opposite directions. There is a stand off for a few seconds where both pause about 20 feet apart. Both of them pick up their dogs and turn around to leave in opposite directions.
They all can’t stand each other. They would all also take many many bullets for each other. There are strange exceptions to these rules where they are allowed to interact but nobody knows what exactly they are. It’s an unspoken rule, nobody knows it because they were never told. Hence it being unspoken.
All of this is also funnier if you assume some of them have never interacted.
Frank castle and Luke cage having an unexplainable urge to leave the vacantly with no real reason as to why.
Nobody knows that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Peter assumes everyone knows. Jessica is very confused as to why a 15 year old saw her, visibly paled and booked it in the opposite direction faster then he should be realistically able to.
Nobody acknowledges that there are two Hawkeyes, nobody is allowed to ask which one is which. If one of them commits a crime both get arrested. Kate eats a Tide pod and Clint gets food poisoning.
Matt Murdock will not interact with Deadpool. He refuses. Deadpool doesn’t even know the guy exists. Matt will not represent him in court. He will not be associated in the same sentence as him. Karen calls Deadpool a vigilante and Matt starts sobbing on the floor in anguish.
