toofless 🥑

(reposted from twitter with some edits) its late at night so i guess im sharing my thoughts about how i think aventurines happiest ending doesnt lie in domesticity with ratio. i keep thinking of a canon divergence au wherein after he escapes penacony he avoids his death sentence by running away to the far ends of the universe. ratio grapples with begging him to stay but ultimately he lets him go because he understand that aventurine needs freedom. from the ipc but also lowkey everything

anyway so aventurine leaves and years go by and after some time ratio is going from planet to planet looking for aventurine and he lands on one so far away that time passes differently. he runs into this kid who has aventurines eyes but his hair color and he freaks out because like ??? aventurine has a kid??? i thought he was gay??????? lol

well the kid takes him to his family and his dad is not aventurine but his mom also has those eyes so ratio is like ....? in his mind hes like oh the avgins fled here. anyways he stays with them for the time being and then eventually their grandmother asks to meet him... asking if "the doctor is here" to which ratios like yeah i guess i am a doctor...?

lo and behold aventurine is freaking dead. the grandmother is his wife and those are his children and grandchildren NOW HEAR ME OUT you might be thinking ??? thats a gay man well yes but he can have a kid and a wife. i cant really explain this without sounding insane i think i alr sound insane with this au. anyways the idea behind is like i think he would really want a family, and i think the grandma (his new best friend) would be like yeahhh ill be ur wife lol (shes kinda interesting... like lowkey down for whatever) but also like i think he deserves to have a family <3 so thats what happens

anyways basically aventurine died of old age (since so much time has passed due to the time dilation) but he passed very peacefully, away from the ipc and surrounded by his loved ones. its quite a good ending for him but ofc ratio is hurt (but he also understands that this is probably the best way for him to go)

anyways he leaves ratio a letter (which is given to him by the grandmother) and its basically like "hey youll prob never read this but i think i could have loved you in another life" and ratio gets his closure but obv hes still greiving. anyway as he prepares to leave one of the grandchildren is like wait. take me with u. ratio is like ??? no go home but she SNEAKS onto the spaceship without understanding the repurcussions of leaving her home planet because its so far away from the rest of the universe. shes like 16 tho so she doesnt have the capacity to mourn the family that she is never gonna see again.

btw this is oc lore so skip if u want but shes a natural born thrill chaser and is incredibly bored of her life on this comfortable and safe planet. she wants something new, as many kids at that age do, which is why she snuck on that spaceship no second thoughts. the idea of a world beyond the only sky shes ever known was too enticing.

anyways now ratio is stuck with this 16 year old kid that looks too much like if him and aventurine were to have a kid to ignore (i didnt mention this earlier but all the ppl that married into their family look like ratio... whole family has a type lmfao)

anyways i cooked up this au partially because rtrn twitter was having lovechild fever so this is the "lovechild" reveal ft. that mobpsycho panel

#that awkward moment when you adopt a kid that looks like you and your dead situationship

when they first meet ratio sees aventurines suspicious ass account (level 80 but ascendant) and immediately assumes he's smurfing. when he finds out that isn't the case his next assumption is that aventurine is some cracked top 500 expy. meanwhile the only thing aventurine knows about overwatch is winston the monkey. this au is enemies to lovers btw because I can imagine anything and i WILL be putting all my favorite things in one au.

i dont think either of them would have a valorant accent but i think it would be REALLY funny (and plausible) if ratio had an INSANE tft accent. he doesnt know it tho but aventurine does! and when he plays he puts lays one on real thick just to annoy ratio

aventurine: but its not even good tho. ok were EIFF. gg. gg. just ff.

ratio: KEYS!!!!

on the topic of tft. the idea of both of them being players of close ish ranks but completely different play styles is highlighted so much more in tft than in val. aventurine perma high roller (think k3soju clip where he hits 3 sennas in one shop on 7) (but every other game) vs ratio stats andy

ratio, backseating: for the love of god PLEASE take <generic combat aug>

aventurine: nah watch this *takes call to chaos and gets exactly what he needs*

this is unironically funnier and makes more sense than the valorant portion of the au but unfortunately i will ACTUALLY have to sacrifice my first born and the blood of a virgin toad to find someone who fits THIS niche

and the final in the riot trifecta (i'm sorry LoR) ratio would try league ONCE (he made a bet with aventurine saying he would if aven hits immortal) and hate it. aventurine in the au is an ex-booster challenger twisted fate one trick lol

btw i'm naming this au ascendant animosity because while it may seem trivial it is actually very important that they are both ascendant. the real nerdy shit starts here but this au takes place in act 8 (ratio was immortal in act 7 and aventurine peaks immortal at the end of act 8) which makes to me and me only probably. but washed immortal ratiorine is so fucking funny to me. lord knows they're barely crawling out of diamond in this day and age. i'm definitely ascending to the aeon of projection with this one but i will gladly take that position.