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@controlplaza
what more can be said our story reminds me of perpendicular lines only meeting together once only to drift apart forever no tangents no reconciling sometimes i think it would have been better if those lines remained parallelâŚ.
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stop looking back donât be like the wife of lot and end up as a salt pillar
why why do i suddenly burst with excitement when i hearâŚ
before i would protect myself by being prickly and mean but not only can i not do that but it actually sorta hurts to treat u that way. is there even a universe out there where we each feel the same at the same time
I can never tell u the truth the betrayal would be unbearable. i canât break your heart like that
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God here i am a man humbled begging u to relinquish me my obsession
take what in my heart is damaging me and bring me to the end of these things i hate what it makes me do who it makes me become
I care for her but not like she deserves not like how jesus does either make in me a clean heart oh lord or clean me of this vexation i long to be more like u but i am a man worse than an ass halfwitted in both my speech and my thoughts
for the more i run the closer it gets to me right on my heels as if i have called it to me with my fleeing or maybe i havenât fled far enough ran fast enough refrained the thought of it enough i know in my heart the part of me that remains unchanged
I know my failings for i am the one who suffers them so God knew before the words touched my lips.
maybe this is the line of demarcation that i needed to change Truly and honestly the last of the vestiges of who i was must be Broken
Maybe i deny my feelings because you could never love me like thatâŚ.
you deserve someone far better anyway
someone smarter
taller even
better looking
someone who values how funny you are
someone who understand your goofy riff humor
someone who will truly be there for you in good days and bad even when youâre acting crazy
someone who sees u for more than how u look or wether you are having the best day but who loves you for you.
If i could will my wish for you truly into existence it wouldnât be for us to work but for you to find someone whoâs worthy of how kind thoughtful smart and insightful you really are.
first time writing this i almost cried with how much these emotions built up within me were leaking out you truly are my new bane princess of tears
maybe itâs good this one didnât post almost cried writing it
do i want you or am i justâŚ.bored.
you deserve more:,(
the groans of creation fill the air no one wants to end it
the blood of those who have no control over the outcome fills the streets
the destruction still stands decades later
what did we gain
the ability to end the world
the right to say â yes We are stronger â
are we benevolent or just violent
who can know the true intentions of the hearts of men
oftentimes what is most necessary is not most convenient
âHe that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; And he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.â
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maybe some space would be good
ćśăŽĺ§Ť
to die by your sword oh what a blessing it is to be slain but a being so beautiful ăăă
avoidance canât be the answer forever.
the thought of blowing it up never to be the same again sounds appealing but i would miss u in my life far too much âi know how you yearnâ if only you knew the secrets above the keep of the castle the princess shanât be saved not this time.
i only come here with thoughts i wouldnât even tell myself
why is it must i dream of you in this wayâŚ
is my respect for your kindness wavering never have i dreamed such a dream about any other what just it mean am i faltering Lord forgive me.
he is the only one that will.
if you were to ever hear of this would you?
my own uncertainty scares me to my core.
instead of confronting these feelings i avoid them and push them down avoiding the reality of it all.
iâm sorryâŚ.
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constant obsession replaying conversations rereading texts but this is not love
daydreaming of the future hoping to know when we may talk next obsessing over the time it takes to get a reply but this is not love
wanting to know you inside and out and find comfort in mutual understanding and trauma but this is not love
remembering everything you do to possibly use in other conversations or repeat back to you in perfect clarity so then maybe (youâll like me)
but this is not love
obsession rushes love waits
wait longer
In the height of my delusion all i did was obsess over
you