meeting demands that were made (for spinning rat)
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@tomorangemouse
meeting demands that were made (for spinning rat)

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I’m glad ppl on tiktok are doing ok
good lord
YEAH I GOT NOTHING
i don’t understand a single sentence in this and i’m ok with that
I would genuinely like to know who to blame for making these children so disconnected from the concept of imagination that they think the simpler explanation for what they’re doing is that they’re projecting their consciousness into one of infinite realities where fictional characters are real.
topical :/
WHY IS IT TOPICAL
Me shouting at my rash ointment
i dont know how people handle the world without looking at pictures of little tiny mice sitting on wheat
powerful…
Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone's gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine
"He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end."
we've all heard about the male gaze in media, but we've yet to explore the equally important sommelier gaze
the only fun addition to this post
Girl that's literally Perry the platypus and Heinz Doofenshmirtz

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I love your "they ring the same bells for weddings and funerals" tag bc I work as a bell-ringer at one of the few churches in my city where you still have to ring the bell manually. and we do ring the same bell whether it's a wedding or a funeral! but ☝️ we also ring it if the local sports team wins at sports (the secret third thing that is neither a wedding nor a funeral)
the three universal human experiences: love, death, and sports
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They don’t look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.
Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly……
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.
and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.
“the goo pile that is now your body”
i’m dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omg
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
Happy 420
Happy 420
I shoved a nerd in my locker. so nobody steals my precious nerd
Reblog this post to ask mutuals to tell you their weirdest theory about u
EDIT: Fair warning this post is cursed and predictions are 7/10 times correct, play at own risk
i'm really glad 6 isnt afraid of 7 anymore and you could all stand to be more supportive of their relationship
I don't care what newer fans are saying or if they need to get back to the source material but. 7 literally ate 9. It's so disgusting how everyone is willing to throw 9 under the bus for their toxic yaoi meme ship

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Crazy this joke hasn't aged in almost 20 years since the episode aired
Steve Harvey is the only host of anything that I can appreciate
This feels like a fucking comedy skit, like Steve Harvey has the pacing and comedic timing amazing
[ Video Transcript :
Host : Well, your name is Obu?
Obu : Yes sir!
Host : And your last name is Obu?
Obu : Yes sir
(Audience laughter)
Host : Obu Obu
Woman, off screen : You should ask him what his middle name is
Obu : Steve not ready for that (2x) (incoherent audience laughter)
Host : You don't know how ready I am! (Audience laughs) As a matter of fact, we not doing a damn thing until we find out! (More laughter) What is your middle name, Obu?
Obu : It's Obu. (Louder audience laugh)
Host : Obu Obu Obu
Obu : Yes sir! ( Audience laugh) Gotta show some ID?
Host : (softer) now you gotta show them id. You got it on you?
Obu : So the process I go through, go on check that out!
Host : I'll be damn. (More audience laughter and clapping) Your-- who, who named you, Obu obu obu?
Obu : My father.
Host : Father still livin' ?
Obu, pointing off screen : Yes, sir, he's right up there. (audience claps) Yeeaaa my pops yeeeaaaaaa
(Host walks towards the camera and camera flips back n forth to reveal Obu's dad, followed by more audience laughing n clapping)
Host : Yeeaaa yeaa that's who I'm lookin for! (laughter) What's your name, sir?
Obu's dad bellows with echoey sound : Oo~obuu~
(More audience laughter)
/End transcript ]
my sister’s bf referred to eating cheese as “mousing out” and i’m so utterly charmed by that. can we all agree to adopt that into language.
werewolves are cute but have you considered weremice? every now and again you turn into a cute little mouse
oh ok word

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it's been incredibly freeing to realize that i'm entitled to never having to come up with anything original ever again because i already made cookie clicker and i can be satisfied with that. sorry this isn't meant to be relatable the rest of y'all still gotta try
"hey orteil you posted a joke but someone else already made that post like a month ago" don't care. popularized a game genre
✨⚾️ BASEBALL YURI ⚾️✨