absolute chaos @tomnooksrightelbow - Tumblr Blog

anyways

why do tiddies hurt :(

why :(

i just want mommy milker soft tiddies :(

but i have small/average hurting tiddies :(

tiddy hurt x2 :(

#tiddie pain #hurt.#:(

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ok head not empty anymore but why the FUCK:

is polaroid film so expensive. like its $10+ CAD for 10 fucking film sheets. for one pack of ten. whatever the fuck you call it.

why.

i just want to take cute pictures of the sky with my cute purple camera on these cute little polaroid sheet thingies and then tape them on my wall or put them in this box or pictures i have and then never touch it again or even take nudes with it for no reason.

i just wanna...

...pictures...

...on cute camera...

#sad times #i just wanna...#...pictures...

ok so:

yeah. thats it. no thought. head empty.

introducing: the hoetelegence.

what is the hoetellegence you might ask? well let’s start from the beginning:

around a week ago, a friend of my boyfriend said that he thinks i was a hoe in a past life and honestly,,,

i kind of agree.

so i came up with the hoetellegence. it’s where, even if you’re a virgin, you just know that, say, if you straighten your hair before a dick appointment, you’ll be able to see if shit got wild or not after you look in the mirror when you get home.

good luck fellow past, present or future hoes, and may your hoetellegence guide you into confusing the average man.

#hoetellegence

charhounds

part 1

charhounds

part 2

liquid-geodes

@cacoughphany @lonleyinmyspacevoid @nonbinary-ghirathem

tomnooksrightelbow

important.

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how am i supposed to discreetly ask my boyfriend for flowers or like a stuffed animal without literally saying it

cuz like-

i want.

but i don’t want to ask, yknow?

help i’ve been listening to 505 by arctic monkeys for like 6 hours and i can’t stop-

xxred-five-standing-byxx-deacti

@john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty your Facebook viral screenshot is making the rounds again!

tomnooksrightelbow

see, this is what the world needs: mall santa who will beat the fuck out of anybody.

now that schools back on, you know what that means!

it’s back pain time!!!

:D

how many times am i supposed to go back to the songs i used to listen to when i was 12 before i finally find something new that i like??? how many??? how long will it take???

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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you know what i LOVE?

if i’m on snap, and we’re snapping back and forth consistently,

i LOVE being able to watch the wee little icon go from delivered, to opened, to new snap.

that’s the type of shit i love.

#snapchat #snap

dankmemeuniversity

fullmetal-kinnie

Forgive me.

thatbastardlass-deactivated2021

only if you forgive me

thatbastardlass-deactivated2021

His world now

thatbastardlass-deactivated2021

HEY YOU

YOURE FINALLY AWAKE

fullmetal-kinnie

Oh sweet Jesus.

thatbastardlass-deactivated2021

i am so sorry for this

lochneddmonster

Where the FUCK is he?

demilypyro

zombie-renji

If I had to see this, everyone who follows me has to too.

fix-ur-heart

now THIS is why i refuse to leave tumblr. this horrible, beautiful, genius, fuckass shit

102938475618-deactivated2021050

Oh my god this is so stupid but well done

tomnooksrightelbow

this was terrifying and beautiful great work

sirfrogsworth

He doesn’t look a day over 129.

thefrogman

This is Jonathan the Great Tortoise.

He lives at the Governor’s mansion on St. Helena island in the South Atlantic. (The final resting place of Napoleon Bonaparte.) He spends his days hanging out on a perfectly manicured lawn with his best friend Fred and his mate Emma.

Here is a pic of him (left) as a young whippersnapper in 1886.

Jonathan might not look a day over 129, but he is not completely immune to the aging process. He has lost most of his vision due to cataracts. His hearing is still pretty good and he really enjoys listening to people playing tennis.

Despite his advanced age Jonathan is still a sex machine. His handlers say his libido is quite strong to this day. Here he is posting thirst trap to Instagram.

After he uses his powers of seduction he’ll get busy with Emma.

Or Fred.

Did I mention the world’s oldest tortoise is bisexual?

Nice.

camb99-cbmi6

Iconic.

carrionkid

someone: hey what’s that thing you like???

me:

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anime--irl

Anime_irl

anime--irl

anime_irl

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absolute chaos