Oh. He replied and seemed⌠actually honestly pretty cheerful. It was somewhat unexpected. It made Shizumaru feel a stab of guilt; perhaps he had been too extreme in his words. It was clear the boy wasnât native to Japan. Whatâs more, he had amnesia, like they all did. Cultural differences seemed paltry while people were dying for real. He had just wanted to be polite, wanted the other party to follow that line of thought but perhaps in retrospect he had been a bit snippy.
âNo, I apologize, I should not have phrased it like that. Still, I would say, if you donât mind me extrapolating, that⌠just because someone does not say they are bothered it does not mean they are not. Umehara-san has a kind heart. Iâm sure even you have noticed.I doubt she is the sort of person who would risk upsetting someone or ruining the mood for the sake of her own comfort. Self-sacrificing. Perhaps. In any case, it is good to just be conscious of it.â
If Matias talked to Ryoka about it, surely sheâd be fine with it. That girl seemed to be fine with a great deal of things. As per usual, he wondered just how healthy that was; just how healthy a mindset it could be. Perhaps he shouldnât criticize. Enforcing his own standards on others was wrong, wasnât it? Such thinking was a slippery slopeâŚ
âI understand⌠but you can leave this matter to me. It is my duty and I can assure you Iâm taking it quite seriously. Iâm sure there are many others who would appreciate your assistance. I, too, do not mean any rudeness. However⌠I donât believe I can trust anyone but myself right now. It isnât personal, if it helps. I just wish to protect Umehara-san properly with my own strength. That means I have to be wary of everyone.â
Sheâs way too trusting. If she knew the things he was saying, sheâd surely protest. But that was part of the problem; one of various reasons why he had to be vigilant here. Matias sure seemed like a fine guy and perhaps he had the best interests of everyone at heart. But what would Shizumaru do if he didnât? If, in one moment of weakness, he left Matias hurt Ryoka? He had already hurt her accidentally by volunteering himself. Even if it made him look bad, he wouldnât make that mistake again. He swore it.
ââCoolâ? ⌠I see⌠I didnât think of it being âcoolâ⌠but I suppose in a way, Iâm glad to hear that?â
There was a questioning intonation to the words, as if he had barely a clue what cool even was.
âI donât think I hear that often⌠âcoolâ. I think I should thank you for it but I am unsure⌠Iâll thank you anyway. Thank you. I think that learning such a thing makes you stronger. And with that strength comes the knowledge you should use your strength responsibly. I hope that makes sense.â
MatĂas didn't feel you were too snippy, Shizumaru, so that's cool. He just thinks about what Shizu says about Ryoka, and wonders, he thought a lot of things through, didn't he? Like he's super serious about every detail... sounds exhausting. He nods nonetheless.
"I understand, I can see how that's possible. I'll make sure to ask her what's her preference in being called, to give her a chance to clear any misunderstanding on it. I wouldn't want to have her secretly uncomfortable after all..."
MatĂas thought that he should give, above everything, an opportunity to Ryoka to say what she thinks of it. It's all good to try to pick up unsaid things from people who have trouble expressing themselves truthfully, but you should always give them a verbal opportunity to do so. It's very hard to pick up on unsaid things after all, but above everything Ryoka seemed the type to not hide if spoken truthfully with. Especially since he believed she really didn't mind many small things- she seemed fine with things like, Tatsuya's behaviour, why bother too much with strict formal politeness?
As to what Shizu says next, MatĂas blinks in surprise, but he doesn't say anything for a bit. He understood Shizumaru's position and his explanation, in a way, but it's still a little surprising. At least it's not personal, though he did wonder how Shizumaru's head ticked to make him take this sort of stance... He can't blame him too much though. They're all amnesiac, this is a dangerous place, a murder occurred, and so on... And yet, MatĂas stance is similar to before. These little differences in how they all reacted to this place made MatĂas curious about themselves. It's such a strange thing. Alas, he just nods at Shizumaru again and offer a smile
"No offence taken. I understand your position - a little anyway, I can't claim to fully understand - and I'll respect your decision. Then I'll leave Ryoka to you, and while you might disagree on trusting people, I feel like I can trust you with it."
He meant it from his heart. Shizumaru seemed a little too serious, and a bit high strung in some things, but from what MatĂas could tell, he would protect Ryoka. Probably Because he was so serious, it felt like he'd be very serious about protecting Ryoka, and such, he felt like he could trust Shizumaru with it. He might be wrong, or regret later, but he can't know about the future he'll just live in the now.
Then Shizumaru seems to not grasp the word cool and MatĂas wonders if he even used it correctly, but no he's pretty sure he has, is just... Shizumaru a secret grandpa or something? Living in the seclusion of a far away temple at a high mountain in rural Japan... It actually seemed to fit...
"It does make sense for me. And yeah it's a good thing! Though, you might find childish, I just think it's so interesting to able to fight with a sword like something straight out of a action movie or something. It's a kind of exercise I'd love to practice if I knew how."