Robin’s No Kids Allowed Zone

[いらいら]

Me: huh? Like pulling it too hard?

Todomatsu: no, I didn’t learn how to use my hands to do it til i was like 20 something?

Me: ….????

Todomatsu: oh, well, I used to rub myself against trees. Thats how i was taught by a cat

Me: …????? W-what…? Are you serious…??

Todomatsu: c’mon, its not that weird. Anyways i only do it 3x a day at the absolute most.

Me: thats still kinda a lot? How do you find the time or space?

Todomatsu: well, if I don’t do it that much I kind of get all pent up and aggressive

Me: but you always are pmsing ??

Todomatsu: yeah so imagine that but worse

Me: 😱

Todomatsu: its normal for guys, I promise. Anyways so I was starting to rip my dick and pants up bc bark is really rough, right? And it would take a while because it didnt feel very good but i was also getting off to the idea of getting caught

Me: so you just had. Like. A tree you would hump seven times a day?

Todomatsu: hehe yeah my first girlfriend 💖

Me: …. What does that make me?

Todomatsu: well, you definitely feel better than the tree, so its no competition

Me: there could have been competition?

Todomatsu: no, but if there was you’re really far ahead of the tree and neck and neck with my fleshlight

Me: 😱⁉️

Hi max! A cat canonically teaches him to jack iff using trees

Todomatsu: ehhh kids today are lucky. They can just get a phone and look at porn and masturbate at home, back when I was growing up we had to use trees and hope the neighborhood sex ed cat was around to explain to us what cumming was

me: huh?

todomatsu: you know

Like Choromatsu would try to do a cute thing with Takashi now that they’re dating that he sees in manga and anime (like covering their eyes and going “guess who~”), but it would backfire horribly as Takashi’s fight or flight instincts kick in.

The thing is, Ashikaga does the same kind of stuff to him, but he’s used to how her hands feel and at what angle since she’s so tall. Choromatsu’s hands are different, and he’s much shorter than her, so he immediately sees this as a scary stranger and a threat.

So when Choromatsu comes in, his face so sweet as he begins to speak in a sing-song, it’s abruptly cut off with a heel kick to the balls.

Takashi isn’t exactly strong, but he can exert a lot of force when his adrenaline is high enough.

Takashi feels bad about it until the gears start turning when Choromatsu gives him The Look.

Awkward silence ensues.

Like Choromatsu would try to do a cute thing with Takashi now that they’re dating that he sees in manga and anime (like covering their eyes and going “guess who~”), but it would backfire horribly as Takashi’s fight or flight instincts kick in.

The thing is, Ashikaga does the same kind of stuff to him, but he’s used to how her hands feel and at what angle since she’s so tall. Choromatsu’s hands are different, and he’s much shorter than her, so he immediately sees this as a scary stranger and a threat.

So when Choromatsu comes in, his face so sweet as he begins to speak in a sing-song, it’s abruptly cut off with a heel kick to the balls.

Takashi isn’t exactly strong, but he can exert a lot of force when his adrenaline is high enough.

Takashi feels bad about it until the gears start turning when Choromatsu gives him The Look.

Awkward silence ensues.