Careful It Bites

Simping legend. We Stan.

overheard in the coffee shop from a middle aged gay man to his (female) friend: “are you embarrassed? about being foolish? please manage yourself better in this situation. this man is not behaving as if he is interested in you.”

“he’s evil. like jeff bezos. Do you understand.” and she’s just nodding with eyes downcast in shame

i forgot to add this until now but after the gay guy was done scolding his friend and they left, their table was taken up by an aging european twink telling a wealthy-looking bubbe with increasing distress about how much cold cut meat he’d eaten the night before and the funnier she found it the more distraught he got about his nighttime deli frenzy

he was like [completely unidentifiable european accent] after you went to bed. i ate ze ham. and ze mortadella also… and. also the prosciutto. no stop giggling at me zis is not funny it was 500 grams each. i ate 500 grams of ze ham and 500 grams of ze mortadella and 500 grams of ze prosciutto and that is ONE POINT FIVE KILOGRAMS OF MEAT !! I ate so many meats!!! Stop giggling at me i am going to be fat!!!! I even ate ze cheeses!!!

so many people are tagging this with some variation of “that coffee shop was full of such interesting people i wish i could go somewhere like this to people watch” and as a seasoned eavesdropper i need you all to know that people are this weird wherever you go. recently my gf and i were observing a gaggle of real estate broker bros hopped up on stimulants pacing around like caged tigers and performing homoerotic rituals through the proxy of their iced lattes and it wasn’t even 10am on a tuesday. the world is a beautiful place full of intricately bizarre human animals waiting to be studied

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

FOR WIKIPEDIA!!!!

Yes, yes, pirating is easier but the Libby app is convenient

Look for American libraries that have Kanopy and Mango Languages because you can also access those services.

Adding my best friend, the library in Northern California that has a grant funding it to give out ecards worldwide to anyone anywhere (as far as I know).

Brooklyn Public Library has a program called Books Unbanned where anyone in the US under 21 can get a free online card (this was to combat library censorship and book banning) and I remember it being pretty easy to get signed up for that. I don’t think I really had to give much personal information, so it’d probably be pretty easy to get no matter where you are. Also, if the library you sign up for has a Hoopla subscription, you can get access to a lot of free music, TV, and comics.

I love when fanfic authors are freakishly unhinged. "Yes, hello, I am here to write a heart wrenching story about relationships and mortality. My medium is Ducktales (2017)"

it’s always “bonney should join the straw hats” this and “loki should join the straw hats” that but never “pudding should join the heart pirates”

never mind, I can make it!!