Oppy O fan

🪪 He'd offer his services to you often, teleporting you somewhere should you want a trip or using some enchantments to get your chores done. One day when you found yourself ill, he had burst into the living room. "Y/N! The boys informed me of your misbegotten malady! Yes- i can sense it!" He puts two fingers to his temple, and one hand out forward, as if trying to sense the evil spirit of the sickness. "Ah, a common evil, the flu." He shakes his head. "Worry not, friend. I can make you a cure, my companion from the triad is a alchemical expert and herbalist of great renown."

There's a scoff from across the room, where Rusty is leaned against the bar, sipping a cocktail with a sneer. "What they need is some cold medicine and to buck up. I'm not paying you sick leave unless your dead or bleeding."

"This person is suffering from a physical ailment. Have you no pity, Venture?" Orpheus is aghast, as Rusty just shrugs. "No. But what I do have is along list of chores not getting done and a migraine. Can you magic that away, houdini?"

🪪 After a quick argument, Orpheus left to call Al. In all truth, he regrets his grand display. He was mostly showboating, and healing magic isn't his purview. Unless you need resurrecting, he's out of his element. He calls up Al, who take immense pleasure in the favor being asked.

"Ohhhh, so this is the person you've got your medieval undergarments in a twist for. I mean- I usually do heavier duty stuff, but sure, I can make ya a cure. You want one for love sickness too?"

"This is not a laughing matter, Al. My-" He coughs again. "Personal feelings have nothing to do with this. I just hate to see how Venture treats a loyal employee."

"Sure, you old cracker. I bet you reeeeeeallly like how loyal they are-"

"AL!"

"Okay, okay. But really, you don't need me. You wanna impress them so bad, just put some flu medicine in a potion bottle, add some sprite, shake it up. They aren't magic, they won't know. I'm packing for a trip to Casa Mesa, not that you ever ask what *I'm* up to when you call-"

"Of course! Mere medicine, why didn't I think of that! I shall journey to the pharmaceutical realm of CVS! Thank you, Al!" He hangs up before the older man can respond, causing Al to sigh, packing another pair of floral trunks into a case before the phones rings again. "Yes?"

"I may have gotten overexcited. Thank you truly, do have a nice trip."

"Thanks, Byron."

🪪 What really seals the deal for Orpheus, taking his infatuation to a full blown obsession, is how you are with Trianna. He feels that when Tatiana, left, despite her occasional checking in, that Triana was unfairly abandoned to an extent. The girl idolizes her mother, and despite her unbothered exterior, she really does hold on to hope that her parents might get back together.

🪪 Orpheus had called you, asking if you could keep an eye on his pumpkin, he was attending a sorcerers conference and though he knews the girl could care for herself, he'd rather her at least get one nutritious meal a day and have someone to go to if something goes wrong. It wasn't until he returned back that he spotted you on the couch with the purple haired girl. Usually she'd be out at a party or with friends, so he's pleased to see you both getting along. From around the corner, he peeks.

🪪 "So... you're friends with my dad? And you look after Hank and Dean? What's that like?" You laugh, telling her a few ridiculous anecdotes, like how Hank recently had a meltdown because Brock told him if he ate a watermelon seed that he'd grow one in his stomach, something you're sure he would've learned wasn't true if he went to a normal school. "Yeah, that sounds like Hank. I don't know how he made it out of infancy. I mean..." She pauses, grimacing a bit at her knowledge of the boys clone based reality. "I guess I do." She chews on her lip a bit, watching the tv as she thinks.

"So, its dumb, but I really like the movie Splash. Me and my dad watched it a ton when I was a kid. And what's on cable is kinda ass right now. Would you wanna put it on? My dad has popcorn somewhere."

It warms his heart. Triana like most teens has a pretty angsty phase, but she's also always been true to herself and her interests. Splash is her all time favorite, but he doesn't know of her sharing that embarrassing fact with anyone else. In truth, he hates the movie, (its a completely inaccurate depiction of transmogrification in his opinion), he loves watching it with his daughter. Now, seeing her not only sharing it with you, but staying in to spend some time with you, seals the feal that you're perfect for him. For them.

"Pumpkin!" He calls, pretending he just arrived. "I'm home, I saw the car. The house looks lovely!" He makes his way to the couch, and the girl smiles as she puts her cheek against her palm, asually criss crossed. "Yeah, I didn't burn it down or anything. Aren't you proud?"

"Always." He kisses her forehead, making her roll her eyes and push him off with a smile. "Ugh, dad, gross. Save that for Uncle Al, I'm sure he'd be into it."

Soon, you're in the kitchen, while Orpheus makes some popcorn on the stove top. "I cannot express my gratitude enough for you helping watch the house. Triana... has a hard time meshing with people sometimes. I'm glad you're both getting along so well." He shakes some seasoning into the pan, before looking over. "I haye that dreadful movie, but I think it would mean a lot to her if you still stayed to watch the movie still."

Turning, he offers the bowl of freshly made popcorn to you. "In truth.... it would mean a lot to me as well."

🪪 A confession from Orpheus would be a lovely affair, but also likely disastrous. When it come to matters of the heart, Orpheus is woefully unsure of what to do. He'd invite you to a dinner he made, with candles and wine, a three course feast. However, after burning the dessert, which He'd NEVER typically do; and knocking over the candles causing a smile fire, you somehow end up on the lawn while he tries to explain to Dr. Venture why the sprinklers went off. You sit on the steps, watching Brock looking at schematics for hoe to turn off the for suppression system. Hank and Dean frolic and play in the sprinklers, and Triana films, occasionally splashing some in there direction while simultaneously acting to cool for this.

"Hey Triana, you look like a racoon, or a panda! Your scary lady make up is all runny."

"Gee, thanks Hank. Just what every girl wants to hear."

🪪 After all is said and done, Orpheus approaches, looming high yet looking incredibly small before you. "I apologize. I had planned this evening to exceed your expectations and I'm afraid... that I have failed." He slumps onto the step beside you. "I have never been good at expressing romantic attraction. I had intended to ask you to allow me to court you, or 'date' rather, I suppose people say. But after this nightmare, should you say no I would not blame you for not wishing to saddle yourself with an aged necromancer who can't seem to even pull off a dinner for you." It pains you, you've never seen Orpheus so down on himself, he looks completely broken. He outs his head in his hands, before running them down his face and standing. "If you'd excuse me, I should clean the remnants of dinner, then retire." Before he could go, you'd grabbed his hand, offering a do-over. After all, you do love his cooking, burned or not.

Too emotionally wrecked from the evening to get as flustered as he usually would be, he just breathes a shuddery sigh of relief, wrapping his hands around yours from where it had grabbed his wrist. He placed a single chaste kiss on the top of your palm. "You are ever merciful, my dear. You are far too kind to this old man."

Your do-over date goes much smoother, as you're sure to calm him the whole time, keeping him relaxed enough to focus on cooking and conversation. At the end of the night, he finally confesses the depth of his emotions. "Y/N, from the first time I saw you on this compound, I felt the astral plane quivering in anticipation, I felt as though the ground had split to drag my stomach down towards the center of the VERY EARTH ITSELF-" At your amused expression, he blushes, acknowledging he delves into theatrics when getting carried away. "Ahem, yes, yes. Laugh as you will, you're as bad as my pumpkin, this is serious!" He huffs, exasperated. You wipe at your eyes and apologize before letting him go on. "What I mean is, I feel a great deal of affection for you. You are kind, beautiful, and far smarter and more capable than I feel you or anyone here gives you credit for. I know I am not always the best with handling feelings, but since my wife I've gotten so much better. And I should hope if given the chance, you would allow me to worship you as you deserve." He takes both of your hands. "Would you he mine as I am already yours?"

🪪 From there, the relationship takes off. You both work during the day, then you leave the Venture home to come to his at the end of each workday. He's usually got dinner ready, wearing those silly pink oven mitts. He insists on family dinners now, with him you and ocasionally Triana discussing the day. After dinner, you both clean up, then retire to his study. He'll read to you, or you'll read to him. Some nights you put on bad reality tv for him; he seems to greatly enjoy it. "Now, my love, explain to me again why these house-women are fighting for the attention of this boy of the pool?"

You explain the scandalous stereotype of an older housewife sleeping with a much younger man who works on the house, much to his shock.

"Good lord!" He suddenly exclaims after a few minutes, hands in the air and aghast. "Is that what our relationship looks like?!"

🪪 He's a frequent user of pet names, expect 'Darling, dearest, my beloved' to be used often. He is also big on restrained PDA, chaste kisses and holding hands while out and about. This suits you just fine, but not Triana. "Oh, gross. Gag me." She points a finger down her throat anytime the two of you do anything kissy-missy in front of her.

🪪 He wants to show you off to all his friends, especially considering how much shit the Triad gave him for pining for you. "Y/N, Y/N, you gotta hear this." The Alchemist covers his mouth with a snicker, waving you over one night after the Triad stopped by for drinks. "We-we had a mission, at some strip club, yeah? So this guy thinks he can cast all his spells with a hand over his eyes. He's stumbling into everything."

"There were half nude women there, I was respecting myself and my partner as a taken man!"

"I was looking around more than him, and I'm the gay one. Shit, so was Jefferson." Al points to the dinner table where a tired jefferson rolls his double colored eyes, nursing a glass of scotch.

"I was scanning, we had a job to do. There's a time and place for trawling for ass, and that's after you make sure none of those fine women are blackulas." He scolds. "Which very well could have been the case. We'll never know, cause Mr. Three Blind Mice over here walked himself into a VIP table and got our asses tossed out." He jabs a thumb at Orpheus.

You frown, looking at Al, who takes another swig of his drink. "I never said we *finished* the mission. Just thay we went on one."

🪪 The only person you suspect he loves more than you and Triana is his kitty, Simba. He's got cat toys throught the house, and the nicest scratching post money can buy. He often pretends not to be jealous Simba loves you as much as he does, especially given how much He's given that wicked feline.

Nsfw below:

Orpheus is a fiend for you, he worships you in the sheets as much as he does during the day. You can imagine he's a very amorous lover, caressing and kissing every part of you before he even considers beginning.

🪪He's very good with his hands; half of his spells require very intense gestures and invocations, so that dexterity carries over into the bedroom.

🪪 He's very vanilla at first. He's not against being wilder persay, but he's old fashioned in a lot of ways, and that means encouraging him. His secret shame is his love for role-playing. He would confess to you that he likes the idea of you pretending to be some arch villain, or an eager disciple seeking to learn magic from him, at *any* cost. You must absolutely not break character though, not matter how dumb or ridiculous his dirty talk is. He will get so flustered he'll shut down, red and embarrassed. It will take you a solid half hour of assuring him you like it to get him ready to go again.

🪪 Aftercare is just as important to him as the sex, if not his favorite part. He'll drag you to the tub, and just enjoy laying in the warm water with you, holding you in his arms. However, if you're still feeling it, this is the very best time to try and rile him for a round two... just slide a hand beneath the surface and watch as he shivers. "Had I known how insatiable you were, I would not have pursued you and suggested you go for a younger man." He chuckles. "Well, I suppose I've made my bed, and I must lie in it. Or rather-" You splash him before he finishes his awful pun.

🪪 As far as his yandere tendencies go, he's both jealousy and possessive. He lost a wife once, and while he admits its his fault, it will not happen again.

🪪 He's got a tracking medallion, cleverly disguised as a lovely necklace he got you. He has lots of... well, at least one enemy! What if you got sent to the torrid zone! He's more worried about you getting into something awful while out with the Ventures.

🪪 Anyone who upsets you, harasses you or whom he thinks you're getting to close too, there's various degrees of how he'll lash out. If someone harasses you on the street, he'll make a big scene before turning the man into a frog. If it's someone who he thinks you're getting to close to, he gets petty. Rounds of the Triad claiming he 'senses' a great evil.

"Yes, this man possess a devilish aura. Something about him upsets the cosmos." Both Jefferson and Al share a look. "So, what should we do, triad brothers? Curse his descendants, raise his childhood bully from the beyond, um... egg his domicile?" Triana taught him that one.

"All this because he messaged your partner on Facebook about some old venture tech for sale? Shit, I could be out hunting blackulas right now. People are being eaten, Byron!" Jefferson spits, standing up and putting two hands out. "I love ya man, but this one's on you."

"Fine! Be that way! Let the cosmo render itself asunder because you could not heed its warnings!"

"Whatever, man."

Orpheus slumps, before hearing a low whistle from the otherside of the car. He turns to see Al looking over the car hood and into the guys window. "Hellllo. This guy's a looker, hey Byron, if they don't want him, I'll take a piece."

"You're still here?" He seems suprised; as typically Al leaves when Jefferson gets fed up. "You believe my warnings?"

"No, absolutely not. I think you're nuts, but I got a free evening and you're my ride here. So are we gonna nail this guy or no? Kneelin' behind this car is killing my knees."

🪪 Orpheus is easily the best lover out of the main cast. He's attentive, chivalrous, and a romantic at heart. As long as you love him as he loves you, you rarely ever disagree. He'll bend over backwards to please you, but please- do not ever leave him. He's fragile. We know from the show that he wiped Triana's mind everytime she met the master or learned Hank and Dean were clones before the incident. He does not want to something drastic, but after the state his wife left him in, he believes he truly would die if you walked out that door. For his sake and yours, be his forever after.

🪪 After a few more times of being their bootycall; Sheila would definitely fall first. Any time you'd come over, either before or after, you'd end up having girl talk with her, watching something shitty on tv.

"So, Helena doesn't like Maria, because Helena is dating Maria's son, afta' she dated her nephew and hit her husband with her car." She nods in agreement at your shocked reaction to the insane reality drama. "I know. You know," She puts a hand on your thigh. "If you'd come ova' more often, you wouldn't need all these tedious recaps." She winks, kissing your cheek. She likes the way you flush, you can't ever make eye contact after. Reminds her of her dear hubby.

🪪 It wouldn't be until she INSISTS the monarch spend time with you that he begins to understand her attachment to you. He's a bit huffy, like a jealous kid, when she first proposes you coming around more.

"She's some floosie from the bar, you want to bring her over for dinner? No sex, just dinner?" The Monarch whines, picking at a loose string on their comforter.

"She's a nice girl, I get lonely up here. And watch the floosie talk, you know how I feel about name callin'. It sets a bad example for the moppets." She scolds from her dresser, a powder puff in hand as she works on her makeup.

"They're grown men! Not children, I don't- whatever, whatever." He sits up and crossing his arms, tilting his pointed chin up. "So no hanky-panky? At all? Not even some light hand stuff?"

"No, it's a good time for you to get to know eachotha. You always hump and dump; then you sleep like a log. You never get to talk, and I really think you'd get along! Now get dressed, put on some pants."

🪪 Halfway through the dinner, Sheila had cleverly excused herself to the bathroom to powder her nose, only to make a b-line to the surveillance room. To her delight, you were fielding The Monarch's rants with understanding.

"And I- I just hate him, you know?" He got drunk about an hour ago, assuming he'd need a drink to get through the night. "You've heard of him, right? That, that needle dick, Venture. He's such an ass, and he's always killing my men. Well, he isn't, its his oiled up rough trade boyfriend whose always hanging around." You have no idea what he's going on about, but just nod along, listening with an amused expression. At the end of his rant, he realizes he's drunkenly slumped onto his back, his head on your lap. He squints, lips pouting out a bit, before he glances away in annoyance. "Hmm. Seems Mrs. The Monarch was right. You are a very tolerable house guest." He groans, sitting up. "Okay, honey! You were right, I'm wrong! Is that what you wanted to here?!" He yells, closed fist raised in the air, before he turns to you. "Will you have sex with my wife now?"

🪪 Soon, you're a permenant fixture for the pair. They never really have to come out to you as a villain, it's something you piece together through his odd rants and the odder people who come in and out of the home.

"Yes, Y/N, this is the cocoon of the MIGHTY MONARCH!!!" He yells, waving his arms towards the large cocoon shaped ship hovering in the sky above his home. You'd been freaked out, but he seemed so excited you decided to roll with it. "Impressed, no doubt. Yeeeah- just one of the many impressive tools in the arsenal of the MIGHTY MONARCH!" He ennuciates that part everytime. When you ask what its doing here, he shrugs. "I always park it nearby. Sometimes its hidden, but I got back late last night, didn't bother too. I told 24 to do it, shitty job he did. I don't know why I trust those idiots to do anything." As he grumbles a few remarks under his breath, you notice it is semi parked behind some sort of oak tree, like a kid hiding behind a lamp.

🪪 When they decide to formally ask if you'd like to be with them as a partner, its a very formal affair. Sheila dons her costume, and has a hand on the Monarchs knee the whole time. He can't be patient to save his life, and the foreplay of the whole evening is tearing him apart. He'd rather ask and get it over with, lest you reject them. Though, how could you ever?"

"So, Y/N, darling, Me and my buttafly king have been talking," Sheila begins, taking a sip of wine as she smiles over the rim at you. "And we were hoping to talk about a more permanent arrangement. Romantically. We've always been off and on open in our marriage, and we both really think you're a great fit-"

There's a smash as half of the beautifully prepared meal are cascaded to the floor, the monarch has one leg on the table and a finger pointed at you with a face of both fury and determination.

"Let me handle this, my winged queen!" He calls over his shoulder at her before turning back to you. "Y/N! YOU ARE BEING OFFERED THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFE TIME! MONEY! PLEASURE! MINIONS WHO WOULD DIE FOR YOU, AND TWO GLORIOUS PARTNERS! ONLY A FOOL WOULD DENY IT, YOUR EXTREME ATTRACTION TO US. SO SAY YES, ACCEPT THE WORLD AT YOUR FINGERTIPS, OR FACE THE FURY OF THE MONARCH!"

Sheila can only groan and rub her forehead, as the Monarch heaves and pants from his exclamation. Grinning, you accept. How could you say no after such a passionate display. The Monarch greens, and Sheila smiles, before smacking the back of his thigh. "Thank God, she said yes. Now get off the damn mahogany."

🪪 Both of them are extremely romantic, but in very different ways. The Monarch deals in gifts and praise, with the occasional grand display. Sheila is more vulnerable, with heart to hearts and words of affirmation.

🪪 As an aside, Sheila loves having another girl around. Even in the guild, it's a bit of a sausage party, and despite his butterfly motif, the Monarch thinks himself extremely masculine. Do your hair and makeup together, talk about guild gossip. If you think the Monarch loves seeing his lovely ladies in matching outfits, you won't believe how much Sheila does. If you're her size, swapping clothes is a must. If you aren't, she'll buy you matching sets in your size, or buy clothes and claim she got the wrong size.

"Oh, woe is me," She flops onto the bed, hand to her forehead like a damsel, shopping bag in her free hand. "Such a silly girl I am, pulled in by marketing and convinced to buy something that doesn't even fit. And from a boutique with a 'no returns' policy, whatever will I do?" She opens one eye to look right at you, clear in her intent. This woman has a doctorate, mind you.

🪪 Your sex life is pretty full, there's rarely a time where at least one of the three of you isn't raring to go. Still, if only two people are feeling it, the third almost always watches. And since they got you, they haven't felt the need to open it up to anyone else. The Monarch does develop an odd habit of trying to get the attention of whichever woman is watching, though. It's comical, like a kid with a toy.

"That's it, baby, give it to me, Mr. The Monarch-"

"Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Look, watch me please me wife, Y/N! Are you seeing this? Sheila, is she looking?"

🪪 Date nights are a must, now he has twice the partners trying to get him to take a.nigbt off from arching. Sheila likes high end places, wine bars or shopping on the nice side of town, spending some guild money. While the Monarch does enjoy revamping his wardrobe, he's also weirdly drawn to places considered more childish.

"Honey, really, it's the effort that counts-"

"No!" He grabs the collar of the poor teenage game attendant, shaking the boy around in a white-knuckled grip. "Listen here, you pimple, hormone riddled dweeb. I demand another set of balls. I will topple your blasted bottles, and win a prize for my women!"

"He's so sweet, isn't he?" Sheila sighs, hand on her cheek as she leans on one leg. "But, eh, this could be a bit. Let's go get a funnel cake." As you walk off, hand in hand, she asks, "He's not gonna give up till he gets us one. I like the look of the big pink bear, what about you?"

🪪 Night times when they are both home are easily the most predictable part of the relationship. Sheila goes through her lengthy skincare routine, Monarch takes his nightly bubble bath, and you slip into the orange and black silk robe they had made when you moved in. Then, you all head to the California king bed with the butterfly headboard. You had asked Sheila once if the Monarch had it made when they married, but she said even when he was single, he had it. He takes his 'sleepy time' as he says, very seriously.

🪪 They're both very physically affectionate, but despite the fact you all go to sleep in the same position, you always wake up completely differently. The Monarch insists on having one of you on either side, so he can spoon you and Sheila can spoon him, or flat on his back so you two are beside him 'like the beautiful wings of nature's perfect creature'. However, he always flops and turns in his sleep. He waks up hogging the blankets and nearly falling off the edge of the bed, while you and Sheila are wrapped up with each other. His attempts to pry you off each other and wiggle between are what rouse you both from sleep each morning.

🪪 Whether or not you decide to become a villain alongside them, you aren't technically part of their villains uo according to the guild. Not to mention they can under no circumstances let you get hurt. So, more often than not, if you insist on coming along or they have to go out of town, you end up at the cocoon or bring babysat at home by the couples odd pair of henchmen 24 and 21.

🪪 While they aren't the ideal choice for protection, Sheila had made the point they've killed the Venture twins twice, and are the ones who've survived the longest out of any henchmen. Reluctantly, he Monarch had agreed, after an extremely terrifying speech of threats delivered to the pair about what would happen should they fail.

🪪 That's the story of how you ended up with two oddly shaped henchmen in Monarch minion uniforms sharing the house with you for the weekend. They don't really approach you, just sort of... lurking nearby while you live your life around the home like usual. Unbeknownst to you, you quickly become the source of conversation for the exasperated pair.

"It's not fair, I mean- it's insane! He's a cool guy, but one smoking babe isn't enough for him? How's he pulling these chicks?" 21 whines, spooning some cereal he raided from the pantry into his mouth as he watches some sci-fi re-run on the Monarch's tv. Surround sound, sweet.

"Dude, he's a super sick villain now, with guild money. Money gets chicks." 24 shrugs, just eating fistfuls of the cereal from the box with a gloved hand. "She is a babe though."

"Tooootal babe!" He slams the bowl down. "Do... you think she'd go out with me? Or you know, any henchman. I'm asking for a friend. One of the- the other guys was asking."

"What? No, dude, no, she's with the Monarch. And you're a henchman, we both share ONE stanza."

"It's not for me, I told you I'm asking for a friend!" He smacks the box away from 24, resulting in a smattering of colorful loops across the floor and a saddened 'Hey' from 24.

"Yeah right, dude, I'm your only friend." 21 scoffs, before scuffing his black rubber boot on the floor as he looks down. "Wait, does that mean you think I'd have a chance?

🪪 As far as yandere behaviors go, the pair are pretty standard. Monarch uses his Henchman tracker 3000 on you, probably have chips in at least half your outfits or purses. Much like Venture, he's got the surveillance footage of all your intimate romps on lock. If he had it his way, you'd be with them or locked in the house, safe from their life of crime. Sheila, however, refuses to go that way. Sheila doesn't want you feeling trapped like she was with Phantom limb. She knows its a sure fire way to breed resentment in a relationship.

🪪 Both are plenty willing to get blood on their hands should someone threaten you. Monarch is always ready for a fight, but Sheila is typically more restrained, playing by guild rules. However, all guild formality is tossed out the window when she feels her family is being threatened.

"Yew' sure we can't finish 'im off marm?" Timtom asks, brandishing a knife with feverish glee over the corpse of some two bit cronie.

"No, honey, but thank you. This-" She takes a knife from inside her black rubber boots. "This is perspnal for mommy."

🪪 Meanwhile, back at the cocoon, 24 sits on the cocoon computers, uncomfortable at how close 21 is behind him. "Dude, you're being weird. I'm fine getting this smokin' hot footage, but I really don't want you behind me!"

"Why? It's security footage? It's like recon, we're like spies, total James Bond stuff."

"Cause it's security footage of Y/N's room from the outside. She's changing, it's like watching porn together, its weird! You're too close, I don't wanna feel your hard-on on my shoulder!"

"Dude, you said hard-on. That's totally gay!"

🪪 Perhaps you're patrolling the grounds, keeping the home safe while Brock is doing some OSI mission. So imagine your suprise when you see the X-1 up and prepped for flight in the hanger.

"Oh, Y/N, I'm glad I caught you!" He slinks an arm around you, a patented 'doc-tail' in his hand. "I was just thinking, you know my brother, that petulant little munchkin on Spider Island?" He takes a sip, if you can call it that, nearly downing the drink. "Well, I've been thinking, and I can't believe I basically bankroll mini-me's vacation while I rot in this godforsaken lab. So, since Brock's out, I figured I'd take a little flight. Have you ever been to Ibiza, Y/N? Cabo?" You get the feeling you're about to. He puts both his hands up in mock surrender, before waving his hand. "Ah- I see your apprehensive. Don't worry, I'm a cool boss. No stuffy suits. Nothing but sunshine and rum for us. I may seem the super genius type, but I know how to, heh- let loose." He winks, before motioning for you to get onto the plane after him, insisting H.E.L.P.E.R will load the luggage. "Course' work is work, so it may be best if we get a shared room, so you can keep an eye on ol' Rusty."

🪪 For some time, the relationship is one of constant workplace harassment, bad pick up lines and attempts to get you alone. God forbid you're a guard like Brock, or anytime you save him, he WILL cop a feel. Or several. Expect to accidentally walk in on him changing in some random room of the house, or for him to infect the boys with a mild, temporary sickness to get you overnight nanny-ing.

🪪 At this stage, while obsessed with you, it's more of an issue of a lack of options and exposure than a love for you. Should you truly get fed up and leave, while he'd be upset, he'd take it more as a slight on him than missing you. It's when or if you reciprocate in some way, thay you enter stage two.

🪪 Rusty is not above trying to pull rank. Perhaps your here as an intern, trying to work towards being your own super scientist. He will ask if you're 'willing to do what it takes' paired with that awful eyebrow wiggle. To his suprise, whether or not you do sleep with him, he actually feels a little guilty. Like a tiny little stabbing pin in his (or rather one of the boys borrowed) kidneys. This seems like something his father would do, coercing some fangirl secretary. Buuutt... he is a desperate man. A very desperate man, so as with all of his actions, he justifies it to himself. Should you choose to sleep with him because of this, when you're knocked out in his bed, office wear scattered on the floor, he has to toss your stuff off the sidetable. He feels the gaze of your company issue I.D. photo burning a hole in his head. He thought this secretary/boss dynamic would be kinky, but right now, he'd really rather pretend you're not on his payroll.

🪪 Whether through the above means or genuine affection, now that you've reciprocated to some extent with Rusty, things start to get serious. His brief, three day relationship with the undercover Dr. Mrs. The Monarch gave us a peek into how clingy he gets, quickly. Rusty rushes in head first when he wants something, both from a lack of impulse control and a terror of losing what he wants to someone or something else.

🪪 The moment you wake up in his bed, you can sense something has shifted. He's just... staring? With two mugs in hands. Watching you. He'd clears his throat after getting caught, and set the mug down. "Morning, kitten. Sleep well?" He uses the most atrocious pet names, completely serious. "Not that we did much sleeping, heh. Brought you a little pick me up, had H.E.L.P.E.R whip up some eggs too. We sure got a work out in, need fuel for the day." He does that damn 'casual' stretch again, no doubt pulling something. Again.

🪪 The next few days are definetly weird. He doesn't really let you do your job anymore, not in the way he did before. Before it was just difficult because he pestered you, but now he has Brock or H.E.L.P.E.R do your day to day tasks instead. He makes sure to slip some suggestions to Brock as to why you're probably to frail to do your work today.

"So you're good to handle this list?" Before Brock can respond, the list is slapped to his chest as Rusty turns away. "Yeeeeep. Y/N had a hot date last night, or so I heard. And what kind of employer would I be if I wasn't good to those under me?"

"Yeah, sure doc." Brock mumbles, rolling his eyes. He's got to many tasks to do now to care about Rusty's antics. "I'll uh- get right on these."

"And I mean really under me-" He nudges Brock with his elbow, prompting the blonde to grip his wrist so firmly Rusty squeaks and pulls it back, rubbing it. "Jesus, this is how you treat your boss? You're suppose to protect me, not give me a hairline fracture, you are. God. I was trying tell you, I was the hot date."

"Yeah. I got that."

🪪 Asking if you're going to be his 'special lady' is far too vulnerable for him, so in his mind it's easier to assume. He'll move your stuff to his room, occupy any down time you have with stories or rants, and insist you accompany him for all meals. Should you try and get a moment alone, good luck. His security room is state of the art, he's got cameras everywhere. Everywhere. But don't worry, your more explicit security tapes will stay private, between you and him... and his right hand on the rare nights you're not around.

🪪 He's extremely physical, though not always in a sexual sense, suprisingly enough. It's not a matter of an unwillingness to admit it, he's genuinely just oblivious to his physical need for the affection he didn't get as a kid. He knows his childhood was messed up, but he can't imagine he needs to make up for it now. Yet, for some reason, his lips are always on your neck when you're cooking, his hand on your thigh as you take off in the X-1. Late at night, when he thinks your asleep, he finds himself shifting. You feel him turn away from you, only to press himself back, moving your hand to his waist for once. He'd never let himself be little spoon if he thought you were awake. Still, the way he always lets out a shaky breath afterwards makes you unwilling to bring it up, even to tease him. He's not Dr. Thaddeus Venture in that moment, he's Rusty. Boy adventurer. And he needs to be held. So please, just go back to sleep.

🪪 He's a gift-giver, in the sense of a man who gives you gifts he assumes women like, or gifts that are really for him. The sort of man who thinks getting you lingerie on your birthday is just what you wanted, even though you end up wearing it for his pleasure. Still, from time to time he'll scrounge up some old gadget of his fathers that suits a need of yours, some sort of pet peeve. He'll present it to you as if it's no big thing, but he'll glance back over and over as he awaits your reaction, like a dog looking between your food and you.

🪪 Rusty is a child with regards to his jealousy. Heaven forbid you had or have a relationship with the boys. He acts like a kid upset by the attention given to their new baby sibling.

"Wow, Y/N! That's super neato! Can you make me another one?" Rusty groans from behind his newspaper, his breakfast having interrupted by Hank's amazement at your mickey mouse pancakes. "Hank, can't you go bother Brock- go- go play-" He's sputtering, he's so annoyed, setting his newspaper down. "Go blow something up, there's a whole pack of C4 in the garage, ask Brock to supervise."

"Really? Golly, thanks pop! Can Y/N come-"

"NO!" Rusty slams his fist down, before coughing into his hand, face flushing as he adjusts his tone. "Heh, no, son. Daddy needs time with Y/N to discuss... grown up stuff. Math."

"Aw, gross. Numbers are lame. Bye, Y/N!" Luckily for Rusty, Hank isn't hard to shake off when he thinks learning is involved.

🪪 As time goes on, he does ocasionally get vulnerable. It never starts off with the intent to be that way, but he'll get drunk or odd off some cocktail of pills. He'll vent about his father, or some part of his past. Current financial worries, or maybe just something his brother did to piss him off. Regardless, how you respond, with love or indifference, doesn't matter to him. He feels heard, and thats what he wants.

🪪 He keeps track of you. Depending on how close you are to the dangers of his life, it varies. Typically its tracking you on the cams, but after a particularly rough mission, he ends up chipping you. He justifies it to himself as something necessary for your saftey. What he won't do, what he can't bring himself to do, is to back your consciousness up like the boys. He can't bring himself to even consider a situation in which you die. He won't let it happen, or rather, Brock won't let it happen.

"It's unnecessary, Brock." Rusty calls over his shoulder, your cold body laid out under a sheet on some bed in his lab, chip gun in hand. "Really, I know you'd never let any harm come to her. Never let me die and I've been in way more danger."

"I dunno, doc. I'm not saying it's right to put her brain in some computer, but you're really hungry up on her. And the boys-"

Rusty scoffs. "The boys are practically lemmings, Brock! To try and keep them from getting themselves killed on the regular is like trying to undo an atom bomb after you detonate it. Just a waste of time, nothing we can do BUT back them up. But my girl, she's smart. And so are you." He never turns to face Brock. "So I trust, you won't let anything happen."

Brock never thought he'd be unnerved by doc, but jesus.

🪪 As much as he hates the boys getting your attention, he will use them to keep you around, reminding you how much the boys adore you, how they need a mother (while ignoring his own failure at being a father). If he catches wind of you going to visit your folks, or taking a needed break, suddenly he's the picture of a perfect family man, telling you to pack your bags for a trip with the boys. You don't remember him telling you? You must have just forgot, silly. How else would your bag already be packed.

🪪 For all his faults, he does make you feel valued. You're waited on hand and foot, not by him of course, but still. He showers you with praise and flirtatious remarks, however bad or cheesy they are. You never feel lesser than in his eyes, or like his desire for you is waning. Whether that is a good thing or not is entirely up to you.

🪪 Just sit pretty, intiate from time to time if you really want to seal the deal, and things will be easy. As easy as being with a Venture can be.

"Y/N?" It's late, the low staticky sound of some soap opera emits from the tv as Rusty speaks from beside you. You look up from your book, and over at him. "I... terminated your employment today. I figured... we're at the point where that's sort of a formality." He phrases it like a question. You know it is. An attempt to gauge your response, gauge if your really going to stay if professional ties are severed. "I mean, you're laid up in my bed everynight-" He tries to cover it with a confident facade, like it's a mere trivial thing. "And I'd rather not hire an HR rep just to get a reprimand." You just sigh.

"Of course, Rusty." You flip the page of your book, then let out a quiet 'oof' at the way he wraps around you suddenly, his face buried in your neck.

"The uh- pills. Giving me some shivers, figured I could warm myself up on my woman."

You just sigh again.

✦ Laios is instantly drawn to you. This isn’t surprising considering his fascination with monsters, but it doesn’t help that you’re cute, too. Don’t even get him started on how sweet you look with all those feathers. And if you let him run his fingers through them, you’d see his face light up so brightly with delight!

✦ You aren’t naturally very warm, so you’ve found yourself sneaking into Laios’ bedroll and nuzzling into his side. Laios doesn’t mind this at all, and even encourages you to take all the warmth from him you need. (As long as you answer some of his ramblings!)

✦ Laios is extremely excited when you first meet, eyes filled with wonder and chest giddy with curiosity. Expect him to start babbling out questions and watching you closely. “Wow… Look at those feathers!” or “Is it okay if I touch your wings?” will definitely be said a bit too loudly as he’s basically vibrating on the spot. Before Marcille can reel him back in, to her bewilderment you give a sweet nod and a calming smile. (I think she just about falls over from that.)

✦ When he finally does get to feel your wings under his palms, he’s so enchanted he could implode. This was an opportunity he may never get again, so best believe he’s going to take full advantage of it!

✦ “So this is different from others I’ve seen. Interesting…” he mumbles to himself. “Can I see how sharp your teeth are?” You hum, opening your mouth to bare your fangs and he’s taking and comparing notes in that head of his.

✦ You’re probably a bit too happy to be dealing with something like this. The others wonder if and when your patience for his questions will run out, but they watch as you beam right back at him. (And there he goes, enamored by your fangs again.)

✦ Laios is very determined to make sure your needs are met. Is what you’re eating fitting to your natural diet? Are your wings in need of stretching? Are you able to get enough warmth? It honestly makes you giggle a bit. You’ve never had someone so interested in your wellbeing. It feels nice.

Lonely. You were lonely during the days- weeks- months- years that Vittorio spent away from you. He was always chasing rumours, things that may or may not exist at all. You are real, tangible, yet he chooses the ghosts that his dear uncle has left behind instead of staying with you and giving you what you desire the most.

"Dear...?"

You drape your arms over his neck, leaning over him as he pours over a faded and yellow-aged parchment in a language you didn't recognize.

"Hrmm-" It was a stab in the gut. You leaned closer and placed a kiss against the shell of his ear.

"Would you-?"

"I am busy. Please leave me be." Vittorio shrugs off your advances and absentmindedly glances over the document, no doubt waiting for your departure before he truly continues his work.

You bite back your tears as you stomp off, never minding how you slam the door shut behind you as you rush away from your "husband's" study.

Lately you have taken to drinking as a means to compensate for your loneliness. It didn't work but you didn't stop, either. Sitting outside, one night, you left the half filled glass on the small table to your right as you drank straight from the bottle.

You just... you wanted- you wanted to be wanted. Was it so much to ask? Didn't you deserve to feel desired? Didn't you deserve to be someone's muse? You missed the touch of a man and you would do anything to be wanted in the ways you, yourself, were wanting every single night.

You never knew your own husband would answer your prayers, though not in the way you expected.

The young knight that Vittorio employed had your eye from the moment he set foot in your home. Tall, broad and strong, piercing eyes... Instead of watching his new employer as he spoke to him, the knight's eyes wandered. Not to his lavish surroundings, not to the carpeted floor or the ceiling or ever to the nearby window.

No, his eyes met yours and never parted from your gaze.

It was like that for nearly a month. Passing looks, lingering gazes that never break even when caught in the act, watching the other go about their daily activities... Until, one night, you were drinking outside. Alone. Again...

"Milady is drinking outside and alone? She deserves to be in welcoming company..."

It was startling to be caught in the act but... maybe this was what you have been waiting for all along? Surely you haven't misread all the longing stares he has given you? You invite him to share a glass with you, which, to your surprise, he accepts silently.

As you hand him his glass, his fingers graze against yours. You don't immediately pull your hand away, against your better judgement.

He is still here...! If Vittorio so much as sees the two of you alone together-

"Milady's hands are freezing... May I-?" You allow him to take your hand into his own. He squeezes your fingers gently as he brings them against his lips.

Ahh...

That was all it took for him to win your heart and your body. It has been so long since you have been touch... When was the last time Vittorio has so much as held your hand, let alone pulled you close and kissed you on the lips? When has he even looked at you willingly? He can't tear his eyes off his work for more than a passing moment... But him?

Tarhos... You never forgot his name once he revealed it to you. It was unbecoming of you to even be in his presence, let alone speak to him as an equal. Speaking ill about your husband is already taboo, but speaking so poorly of him in front of his own knight?

"Drunk- again! Reeking of wine as he threw himself into bed- never minding my person, of course!" You couldn't be more disappointed in the man you were unfortunate enough to marry.

"Hmm..." Tarhos nodded as he watched you gesticulate with your hands. He was a man of few words but he at least pretended to listen to you!

Unlike Vittorio-

Little did you know exactly how much Tarhos hung onto your every word. Ever since he laid eyes on you, he found something fascinating about you. You were beautiful- a dutiful wife and homemaker. You kept the house a home and it was only for you that it wasn't in ruin. He found it utterly unbelievable that oaf you call a husband did everything in his power to push you away and shame you and the hard work you did for him every single day.

Any man would kill for a woman like you-

It was both exciting and terrifying as you led him to a different part of the estate. His hand was large and warm in your much smaller one. He followed silently, but you didn't neglect how his fingers twitched ever so slightly and squeezed your delicate hand gently as you opened the door to one of the many spare rooms of your home.

Never before had you ever laid with a man that wasn't your husband. You thought you would feel... guilt? Disgust, even, at yourself for the sin you were committing. Yet you felt nothing of the sort. No, this was... invigorating.

You had never felt so wanted and desired before in your entire life. Not even when you first married Vittorio... Tarhos made love to you as though it were his last night on earth. It could be that he is merely enjoying laying with a married woman- one married to his employer, but a not-so-insignificant part of you wanted to believe that there truly was something on the precipice of blooming between the two of you.

It devastated the two of you when Vittorio left on a campaign and took Tarhos with him. You feared that would be the end of it; you would be alone for the year they would be away and when they returned? Loneliness would be your only companion... It would seem that Tarhos had already made up his mind.

The night they were to depart, it was not your husband that kissed you goodbye, but your faithful knight. He held your hands in his own as he promised to return to you, whole and with you always in his heart. For the first time since you've been married, you felt complete. What a shame that you would be part for so long after finding one another, but you've waited your entire life for him. What would be another year of longing for a man that truly wants you back?

After only a few months after their departure, you made a startling discovery. You had missed your monthly cycles. Your abdomen had slowly but noticeably begun to swell more and more- You were pregnant.

What do you do? Vittorio would surely know what you have done now. You needed to believe Tarhos when he said he'd always care for you now more than ever before! If your husband knows-

Something drastic had changed while they were absent in foreign lands. You were in the dark, only knowing that Vittorio locked himself away the moment he arrived home. It was after Tarhos saw you for the first time since his arrival that the truth came to light.

He was ecstatic that you were pregnant. It... surprised you. He didn't seem like the kind of man to want this sort of responsibility. Did you misjudge him? He picked you up and hugged you tight, excitedly telling you how things were about to change. That the two of you could be together without fear of judgment or consequence. You were... confused. What did he mean? You were married-

"I am now the lord of this estate. He no longer binds you to a life of misery and solitude." A frown tugs at the corner of your lips.

"W-What-?"

Tarhos made up his mind that he was the only man in the world fit for you and you alone. You deserved only the utmost care and love, something that Vittorio couldn't and didn't even bother to try and supply you with! Right now, you are sure to be confused, even a little dismayed. But-! He knows that, with some time, you will come to understand that this was the right decision to make.

You didn't know what to feel. Joy that he has returned safely, euphoria that he is excited to be a father, but- A part of you is afraid. He took the mantle of lord by force and now you are his. Is it such a bad thing? Isn't this what you wanted? You can't help but feel uncertainty as Tarhos rests his head on your stomach and listens to your child's heartbeat.

⚓︎ So, I put Lash as a top tier yearner because I think behind all the bravado, he truly yearns

⚓︎ First off; I think people often fail to recognize the hints in Lash’s character that point to him putting on this arrogant facade, rather than it being his true or genuine personality. It’s only him on a surface level. I think he truly is much deeper and more sensitive as a person beneath that.

⚓︎ We also know that he has an ex who he’s tried to get back with, and apparently isn’t happy about being rejected by. This can have several interpretations though, many of which can be true at once. I think, at the very least, it shows that he does want companionship on some level. This, along with how intensely he flirts with many of the female characters until being explicitly told to stop further displays that there’s a level of genuine desperation within him.

⚓︎ But, because of his, quite frankly, deserved reputation of being some arrogant douche, finding genuine companionship is difficult.

⚓︎ Most people who want him in a romantic way typically don’t want him. They don’t want Jacob, they want The Lash; they want money from him, the spectacle of bedding such a guy, or parading a relationship with him around like some monumental achievement. It’s never because they actually like him, it’s because they have some sort of motive for tolerating the sometimes unbearable act he uses as a front.

⚓︎ That’s partially why he’s more enticed by people who don’t fawn at him, and meet him with sass or otherwise disregard his achievements. The caveat to those people, though, is because they don’t idolize him, they have no desire to tolerate him.

⚓︎ It would probably be easy as hell for him to find some random pretty face to get into a relationship with or seek affection from, but it would be shallow.

⚓︎ Despite how he comes off, when it comes to finding true companionship, he wouldn’t be into someone who fawns or fans over him.

⚓︎ Finding someone who clearly doesn’t care about who he is, and probably even dislikes him a bit at first, is the best bet for him. What I’m saying is, to some capacity, Lash’s only interest in finding a true, loving relationship would be in one that starts as some variant of enemies to lovers. (Don’t mention Bebop, he doesn’t count. He isn’t just an enemy, he is Lash’s NEMESIS)

⚓︎ Meeting a person who has that kind of reaction to him, and then managing to feel some sort of spark? That’s step one and two. Step three is finding a way to interact with that person on a subtle, but somewhat consistent level.

⚓︎ He’d still act the same as he does, and his presence would come off as him being there simply by coincidence. Then, it’s because you’re fun to annoy.

⚓︎ It would continue building and evolving. His behaviour wouldn’t change much for a while, aside the subtle shifts, but when you’ve reached the point of having conscious, one-on-one interactions or hangouts, that’s when more of his yearner personality would come out.

⚓︎ Lash doesn’t get jealous often, or at least doesn’t show it. He brushes rejection and things like that off with the same arrogant shtick he always has. But, by this point, he will get more notably butthurt if you spend time with someone else instead of him. He’ll complain if you’re busy, and start encouraging you to “spend more time with people in your league”. Like him, for example, cause he’s super cool and awesome.

⚓︎ He’s not controlling, more like a clingy puppy. If he does push a bit too much and you set a firm boundary or scold him, he will back off. He may pout and huff about it or brush it off with some ego boosting statement, it just depends on the exact situation.

⚓︎ The only time he’ll become genuinely upset is if you interact with Bebop, or mention him in any sort of positive light at all. That’s when the jealousy makes him snappy, and he’ll get pissy. Again; he won’t be controlling, but his annoyance is clear even when he tries hiding behind his arrogance.

⚓︎ If that ever happens, once he’s over his little fit he’ll start overcompensating; talking about how cool he is way more, telling you how you’re too cool to hang out with a loser like Bebop, etc. He’ll start showing off around you even more.

⚓︎ Regardless of if you ever trigger his intense rage trigger regarding Bebop, he’ll still try to impress you. Sometimes he’ll be clear that he wants you to approve, other times he’ll deny the very idea that he’s doing it to impress you. This is the point where you probably feel like a female bird sometimes.

⚓︎ This might feel a bit contradictory to him not wanting someone who idolizes him, but by this point, it’s become complicated. It’s true that he wants you to see him as Jacob, but a big part of his sense of self worth has become intertwined him being The Lash, and now that he’s begun to develop actual feelings beyond a surface level interest, some of the self-consciousness he tries so hard to bury will start bubbling to the surface; what if Jacob really isn’t good enough? What if Lash is the only one worth any of the things he wants?

⚓︎ It’s this point where he starts coming full circle; he had been slowly letting you get to know Jacob, but now that starts to be drowned out by Lash.

⚓︎ At this point, it’s important that it’s made clear; you aren’t impressed by Lash. You want him, not the facade.

⚓︎ He won’t accept that right away. You’ll have to brush him off anytime Lash appears in your personal time together. You’ll have to directly say things to let him know you don’t like the change; this can take many forms, from “tell me when Jacob is back”, “I don’t want the performance”, etc. Anything along those lines will work. They don’t have to be super forward call outs, but simple quips that still clearly display your displeasure, along with keeping it at arm’s length when he behaves this way, will eventually get it through to him.

⚓︎ Harping Lash won’t get him to realize what he’s doing, it’ll only make him double down. Lash is used to being either hated and scolded, or loved and praised. Getting him to come back to his senses requires the exact same thing that let you get him to begin with; treating him with indifference. That’s what he struggles to handle the most.

⚓︎ When it finally clicks, that previous ‘clingy puppy’ phase comes back, but way worse. If he ever gets jealous, it’s still mopey, and so much whinier. He’ll spend as much time with you as he can, even if you didn’t plan to. Going grocery shopping? He just “happened” to be shopping too! Oh, you were going to the park after? So was he! He’ll invite himself along on any of your outings that he can.

⚓︎ If you tell him to leave you alone, he will. He won’t be happy about it, but he listens to boundaries when they’re expressed. He also does NOT stalk you. Him happening to show up wear you are is based on him asking you about your plans in a normal conversation then inviting himself, or using parts of your routine he already organically knows. If he has to be secretive and dig out the information, he will not have it.

⚓︎ If the details of your life were not willingly given to him by you, he doesn’t go out of his way to retrieve them. He quite literally has an obsessed stalker, and knows how deeply upsetting that kind of situation is. Again; he’s the overly clingy puppy, not the creepy acquaintance that crashes dates or somehow knows your mom’s maiden name.

⚓︎ Don’t give into his shit right away, though. giving him that indifferent, cold shoulder for about a week is the best. By that point he’s probably unbearable, but that’s the time to get real.

⚓︎ In a private moment, somewhere where it’s just the two of you, this is the best time to lay it all out; you want Jacob, not Lash. You understand that Lash comes along with Jacob, but the celebrity hot shot isn’t who you want behind closed doors. You don’t like Lash, you do not idolize Lash. You don’t idolize Jacob, either, but you see him as a person, and you do feel deeply for that person.

⚓︎ He won’t know how to react, and will attempt to use his bravado to save face, but the attempt falls flat. For once, Jacob lash is speechless.

⚓︎ How the exact situation goes from there can vary greatly, but as long as you’re gentle, kind, and maintain that it’s the guy behind the act that you want, he’ll fold. I’m talking steps closer, can’t get a word out, and just drops to his knees before hugging your waist.

⚓︎ The first words he utters after this are “thank you”.

⚓︎ If you’re someone who wants your relationship to be entirely private, Lash isn’t the guy for you.

⚓︎ Boundaries you set up regarding what he presents about your relationship to the public will be respected, but he will boast to whatever level you allow him.

⚓︎ Tricks and stunts he would’ve pulled and only mentioned that they were for you in private now come with announcements, “that was for my girl/guy/partner”, “that was all thanks to my partner’s awesomeness”, etc.

⚓︎ He knows that being public about his relationship has risks, for many reasons, especially from parasocial fans. However, he still chooses to be open about it for a few reasons.

⚓︎ One, he’s so into you and proud of you for just existing. Even if you accomplish something unrelated to him, as long as you allow it, he will 100% announce and brag about it to all who will listen. “Yeah, that’s cool, but did you hear that my partner got this sick promotion at work? It’s cause they’re so awesome and kick ass at their job.”

⚓︎ Two, in some ways, being public about it has its benefits and protections. Private vs public both have its risks and benefits. He’s just so excited and likes you so much though, he really can’t help it.

⚓︎ Three, he can totally protect you if anyone tries to mess with you, and you’re cool too so you probably wouldn’t even need it but I mean he's the fuckin Lash so of course he’s gonna be protective of his partner, duh.

⚓︎ PDA is probably common. Nothing too raunchy, but this guy is always touching you. Holding hands, carrying you, hugging you, kisses; whatever is appropriate (and okay with you) is happening.

⚓︎ In private he’s even worse he doesn’t leave your ass alone lmao.

⚓︎ Sometimes he does slip into a Lash mentality and subtly does things or offers things that would have to utilize his fame in order to give you a leg up in whatever you’re doing (jobs, offers, etc). Your relationship being public already has a bit of that effect, so you’ll need to communicate with him about when he starts trying to ‘help’ this way. Again; you don’t want him for the benefits of dating a popular person, you want him for who he is.

⚓︎ Total royal treatment in whatever way is acceptable. He’s allowed to go into your place whenever he wants, even if you aren’t home? Well, you like, never have chores to do again, he’s done them all. He was bored and had free time, he’d say when asked why he did all your dishes and fully dusted your apartment.

⚓︎ Tough week at work? You get home on your last day of the week? No, come over to his place, and there’s already a spa level bath prepared for you in the best bathtub in his house; candles, a million kinds of soap you know he didn’t have as of last week, and all kinds of other bath accessories set up, at your disposal. He will hint that he wants to join, but if you want you time he’s happy to leave you be… at least until you’re done and then he’s clingy again.

⚓︎ You mentioned you like a specific kind of food once, in passing? both your and his place is never without it. The dude probably starts exclusively wearing underwear and socks that are your favourite colour, or have your favourite animal on them or something. He’s ridiculous.

⚓︎ Lash is really affectionate, and while he is happy to do all of this stuff for you, he really appreciates similar caring gestures. They don’t need to be as grand or over the top as his are sometimes, but remembering small details about him and what he likes, offering soft touches and cuddles when his muscles ache but he’s being tough about it. Reminding him that you see him, not his persona.

⚓︎ One of his favourites is if you play with his moustache, honestly. Or, when his hands are chafed and raw, you touching him with such tenderness as you remove the bandages he uses and clean the scrapes, not needing him to be strong or tough or loud, he just adores it.

⚓︎ Despite being a bit suggestive at times, Lash isn’t actually overly sexual in a relationship.

⚓︎ Does he like sex? Yeah, not gonna lie. But… ‘performing’ as Jacob instead of Lash in those moments makes him a bit self conscious.

⚓︎ Regardless, being loved for himself and not his body or prestige is more satisfying than any amount of sex, that kind of physical intimacy is just a happy bonus.

⚓︎ When it comes to the type of person Lash would date or be into, I think just about anyone is game. As long as you aren’t genuinely evil, and, of course, don’t idolize him, anything else works.

ཐི♡ཋྀ The Baroness was completely booked on Valentine’s Day, which makes sense, but what people didn’t know is that the Doorman had rented every room just so you could enjoy the Baroness and its services alone. This is a gift he must give you to show his gratitude because you’re the most interesting human he gets to observe and dedicate himself to.

His favorite human for showing him what it means to be just that: human.

The day starts with you waking up to the delicious smell of your favorite breakfast foods. Opening your eyes, you’re suddenly surrounded by the warmth, plush pillows, and comforters belonging to one of the suites at the Baroness Hotel. Not too far from you is the Doorman pushing a breakfast cart towards the side of the bed.

If you’re comfortable, the Doorman would love to personally feed you. Today, he wants to treat you like royalty. The Doorman’s got you, so don’t even think of lifting a finger today.

After breakfast, it’s spa services. Massages, facials, you name it! Today is about relaxation. The Doorman has always been a giver, and he finds great enjoyment in watching your content and calm expressions as every muscle in your body relaxes. The session is filled with small talk with your favorite fragrance dancing around the room from the scent machine, a comfortable quietness that neither of you thinks is worth interrupting, just enjoying each other’s presence and company.

The Doorman nearly forgets to blink, forgets to breathe, though I guess he doesn’t need to. Your precious skin underneath his hands is something he lovingly worships, whispering to himself all the things he adores about your soul.

The whole experience feels euphoric; you’re sure you’ve nearly fallen asleep between each touch. He’s gentle, yet firm, making sure he really works through all of your tension.

Such an exquisite human; The Doorman can admit that. He’s been blessed by your being on a special day for the living. Love has always fascinated the Doorman. He wonders what love looks like. What does it feel like?

They’re questions that ring in his head as we transition to the hotel lobby, embracing your form in a little dance, a slow and intimate song humming from the gramophone. The skin of his hands touching your own, he can't help but feel the gentle expression that takes over his features. With you, it’s hard to control his form. You feel so fragile in his hold; he’d mend and mold himself to match you, to protect you, to love you.

When he looks down at you, into your [color] eyes, the smile that never leaves your lips, perhaps he’s perfect the way he is.

His arms outstretched, putting you in a spin, you’ve easily become his whole world. Or maybe you were the sun, with the way you radiate and brighten your entire surroundings, the way you radiate and brighten against him.

In all the years the Doorman has been living, somewhere deep inside him, in his heart, in his soul, he knows that there is no one in this whole universe, in all dimensions, who is like you.

Your vital instrument consists of your socks, your underwear, and your bras

You may be asking, all of these things are interchangeable, which is correct.

You’re a spherite, and you would get all of your bras, socks, and panties from a specific shop on the sphere, so when you got dropped for bad behavior, the only thing you thought to bring was your pristine, custom made undergarments

Your clothes may have been sold when you got down, but they had to leave you your panties, which happened to turn into your weapon! Along with your socks and your bra, of course

Each one turns into a different weapon, super convenient amirite?

I’d like to think Enjin was the one to take you back to base after you were face to face with a trash beast, about to suffocate to death from the toxic air and first thing you think to do is to take your shoe and fling it at the thing. Your sock comes off with said shoe, which turns into a sword or something, stabbing the trash beat right in its core.

Afterwards, he comes up, about to say something only for you to bend down and take off your underwear. Next thing he knows, you have a goddamn glock. He’s SMITTEN.

“Damn girl! You’ve gotta be really something to have those as your vital instrument, this is fucking gold! You gotta come back with me,”

You eyed him suspiciously, adjusting the gas mask he gave you before sighing and agreeing, so long as he carried you back

Y’all get back to the cleaners and August gets right to working on your outfit, something to make everything.. easily accessible

Rudo hears about another spherite and is fucking ecstatic, so hyped to meet you he even musters his.. smile

Unlike the others, you just giggle and ruffle the boy’s hair, thinking his effort is adorable in it’s own, special way

He really thought y’all had something, and then your fighting together, your first mission. He’s beside you strategizing, Zanka to the side of him. They look over, “What’s your plan (Y/N)- why are you holding your socks?”

Cue you, transforming one into a goddamn scythe and slicing through the trash beasts, one sock still on your leg

Zanka cannot believe his goddamn mediocre eyes right now. He doesn’t know what is worse, a stick or underwear. Safe to say he cannot look you in your eyes

Anytime you use your vital instrument he goes pink in the face, immediately looking away. Respectful king! Enjin however is the exact OPPOSITE, eyes glued to you as you literally eliminate trash beasts with your underwear. On one hand it’s fucking hilarious, on the other it’s hella sexy

Riyo thinks it’s great, and it’s even greater getting to tease the boys when they stare a little too long at your bare legs as you use your stockings to knife down trash monsters, a wicked grin on your face in the meantime

“REPENT MOTHERFUCKERS!”

“Tell em girl!” Riyo and you for sure tag team, sword and scissors slicing threw them mfs

Semiu, my gorgeous lesbian queen, thinks you’re fucking spectacular. Definitely has a crush on on you the second you gave her your bra for ‘protection’ with a wink

Once on a mission with Tamsy, you flew above the trash beast with your bra, shoved it back in your shirt and mid-air took your panties off and shot the monster down. He’s blinking so hard with the most amused expression.

As you get down, your bra serving as a parachute of sorts, he respectfully helps you adjust so you’re no longer flashing all of his team.

“Make sure to keep an eye on this button, my dear,” he says as he stitches the thing back into place, his soft voice music to your ears

“Yes sir!” God, he is just so dreamy. You’d take your underwear off for him in a different way ifykyk

Fighting Jabber is a fucking hoot, first he’s questioning why you only have one sock on as you block his attacks with a sword, then he’s confused because why are you taking off your underwear— oh and he’s dead

Jk, he’s like those cockroaches his boss likes to eat, this mf don’t die, he does get majorly erect when your knifing him down with your stocking though..

“Oh yeah, just like that ma— AGH FUCK” You just stabbed him in the thigh btw, super romantic 💕

That leads into, what if you joined the raiders instead?

Zodyl is definitely so sick of your ass, but a giver is a giver iggg

You definitely try to seduce the cleaners before you gun them down, sometimes you’re forced to go all out which means taking everything off, in the manhole you GO😭

✦ ── Hope you aren't the shy kind, because your relationship is no secret matter. EVERYONE knows, because August refers to you solely as 'my girl' to them.

✦ ── Not shy about touching anyone no matter their desire for space, and that includes you! He keeps extreme intimacy to a minimum in public, but he will totally pull you into a hug, a sweet kiss, and other simple displays of affection in front of others.

✦ ── Not used to this whole 'work-life balance thing because his work IS his life. But now he's got you, so he's learning to actually sleep in your room rather than pass out on his desk.

✦ ── Your music taste becomes his! He used to just throw on the same radio station, but he likes any music (literally any, unless it's too slow), especially if you enjoy it. Play what you like, and he'll bang out to it.

"BABE! Can you put on your music?" The moment you opened the sliding door to his workshop, he spun in his chair to make his request.

"Hello to you too, Auggie." You couldn't help but laugh at his eagerness, offering a quick kiss to his nose. "Of course I can. No particular mood?"

"Anything at all babygu~url!" He dragged the sound out in a sing-song voice, grinning like the total maniac he is. It was only when his speakers started playing that he got back to work, head bobbing with what you put on in an instant.

✦ ── Most of your dates are just at HQ together, playing board games with his sister or watching a movie with the projector in his workshop. Date nights out tend to be to concerts, art shows, or road trips to other towns to get supplies.

✦ ── August' room is more of a storage closet for things he can't fit in his studio, so that makes your room the main sleeping space. August doesn't do anything to change your aesthetic because he likes being surrounded by your stuff and you.

✦ ── Rests with his arms around your waist and face buried into your stomach. Right where your hands can comfortably run through his hair. He's a real tight clinger, too.

"August...?" Your hands found their way through his platinum hair, brushing it away from his face.

His glasses were on the nightstand, which let you see the beautiful deep pink of his eye when it opened to peek at you.

"You're holding on too tight." An overdramatic groan was muffled by your shirt, where his face had been trying to bury itself. His arms loosened by a smidge. Enough to make breathing comfortable again.

"Not my fault; I need to get closer!" No amount of muffling could stop the sheer volume he always spoke at. You rolled your eyes. The moment you laid back against your pillows, his arms tightened again.

"August!"

✦ ── He doesn't get sent on missions, unlike you. And yet somehow he ends up in the jeep with you, literally just coming along for the ride on less dangerous missions. He admits directly it's to spend time with you, but the bonus is that he gets inspiration from it.

✦ ── If Eishia can't make it or is already at their grandma's, he'll take you to visit! He also just really likes riding his motorcycle with you backpacking; it makes him feel badass.

✦ ── You're apart of the Stilza family, genuinely. Eishia loves when you stop by the medical area to see her, and Alice is always scolding August for being too much of a fool for you. If you're ever in need of medical attention, you're in good hands, because you're family.

Author's Note ── Listen,,, I don't say it often, but I love Tamsy and August EQUALLY, and I adore August SO FUCKING MUCH. I am so damn happy I got a request for him!!! I want to write him way moreeeeeeeeee guhhh...