Platonic!Yandere!Hank and Dean Headcanons
Just some Platonic!Yandere!Hank and Dean thoughts with a reader they seem to think is a stand in parent. (First yandere venture bros post). Set sometime around season 2-3.
A/N: Venture Bros is the fandom I'm in right now, so gonna be quite a few Yan!venture bros bits and bobs for a while! Feel free to send some requests in.
🪪 Who knows how you ended up involved with team venture. Maybe you're a neighbor, someone from OSI, or maybe a much lower level employee of Venture industries. Regardless, you spend quite a bit of time with the family, and given the general neglect from their biological father, the boys are pretty starved for any contact. It's no suprise that they get attached, and quick.
🪪 Hank is probably the first to get attached, he's got less hang ups socially than Dean, and he gets even less attention from their dad. He's a pretty easy going teen, and not hard to look after aside from his almost supernatural ability to get himself killed. He's a showboater, often flexing or trying to show you his 'stunts'.
"Hey, Y/N, look! Look! Hey- Y/N!" He's no better than a toddler showing off to mommy. "Look what Brock taught me, I'm like Magnum P.I." His attempt to vault over the drivers ed car hood is amusing, but not really helpful. "SCREEEEECH-" There's a heavy thud as he hits the ground on the other side, the landing not really sticking.
"Hank, no hood sliding, you'll break your collarbone."
🪪 Chances are, if you're around the compound often, you've had to break up plenty of fights between the boys, some good natured, some that just got out of hand. When Brock tells them to break it up, they stop; they don't wanna see him angry. When you tell them, they break it up because they don't want you disappointed by them. It was easy to get them to stop when you first met them. Tell Hank that it's not very manly to pick on someone weaker, or tell Dean he's too smart to be picking fights. Either way, their faces go red and they rarely scrap around you.
"You're such a wuss, Deano, calling in Y/N! You made us look bad..." The blonde teen huffs, crossing his arms in a comical display of defiance.
"You jumped on me first!"
"I wouldn't have if you didn't have such- such wuss energy, I don't know..."
🪪 He doesn't always let it show, but he's easily as sensitive as Dean. He's a meathead, but its obvious Dean is his dad's favorite. He has Brock, of course, but it's hard to get outright affection from him without begging, and Hank's not girly like that (in his own words). So, when Brock is on an away mission, and Dean is being unwillingly 'mentored' by Rusty, he's left all by himself. That was, until you were around the house more. He won't ask to hang out, but he'll yrail you all over the compound. If you're a guy, he'll show you things he think will impress you, like his weights and his batman pajamas.
"Yeeeeeeah-" He stretches his arms out behind him, feinging a casual attitude. "I'm kind of a caped crusader myself. I fought a bat person once with Brock, in Guam!"
If you're a lady, he's less sure of how to bond with you, but more initially drawn in. He never had a mom, much less any female figures in his life. He'll watch you do your makeup or hair, asking why you put all that 'gunk' on yourself, before going red and gagging when you offer to give him some. He'll groan about watching 'lady shows' anytime you watch anything without explosions, or ask if he's gonna have to learn to cook. Still, he never even attempts to leave your side.
🪪 Despite how much they squabble, he loves Dean, that's his brother. So, while he doesn't want an uneven amount of your attention going to his brother, he can handle sharing equally. Not to say he won't be a bit huffy when Dean comes back from a busy day in pop's lab, tired and wanting to sit and watch the tv with you guys.
🪪 The real trouble comes from the fact he starts to see himself as something of your knight. Male or female, you could be a damsel in distress! The life of a 'Team Venture®' member is fraught with peril. He think he can be for you what Brock is for him and Pop. He will gladly use his 'J-U-D-O' on any bad guys, or throw himself in front of any manner of weapons pointed towards you, regardless of your skill level. Much to his fathers chagrin, this results in the spending of many more resources on Hank clones.
"God, it's like the boy wants to die..." Rusty groans, as Brock drags the flattened Hank away. "What was it this time, a falling Mayan statue? What did he think was gonna happen, he was gonna gain super strength and lift two hundred pounds of primitive concrete? You weren't even near the statue! Surely the clones aren't growing genetically predispositioned to suicide..."
🪪 Dean has always thought of himself as the mature one of the two, which isn't necessarily false. He understands how angry pops would get if they were being unprofessional, so he tries to act the part of the respectful young Venture son. He'll politely show you around the compound, maybe slip in a fact or two about the grounds, even show you how to call for H.e.l.p.e.r. But he's not gonna get attached like silly Hank, right?
🪪 In truth, he really, really likes you, he hopes you like him just as much. Being the son of Rusty Venture does a number on someones self esteem, so despite his brains and the slightly less meager amount of praise his dad gives him, he still sees Hank as the 'better brother' just as Hank sees him. Hank is strong, energetic, charismatic. He never thinks twice, or at all! He's even gotten close with you, while ole' Deano is stuck in the dust.
🪪 Overtime, you offer an olive branch. He sees how you treat his brother, with kindness and no rude remarks behind his back. Because of this, he's a bit more comfortable approaching you, telling you some facts from his animal card catalog, or trying to help with dinner or whatever task you're doing.
"Gee whiz, Y/N, Pops really got you working overtime, huh?" He puts both hands on his cheeks, like some shocked forties starlet. You stifle a laugh. "I don't know much about any of this stuff, but I'm plenty willing to lend a hand, if... if ya need!"
🪪 He's the reverse of Hank, he wears his emotions on his sleeve, so once he's comfortable with you, he'll come to you with any issues he has, ones he isn't comfortable asking Brock or his dad about.
"I dunno, Y/N. I think about Treanna all the time! But I can't really ask Brock for help. I mean, he has lots of lady friends, but... I just don't think his advice would work for me." He shivers, thinking of some of the more graphic advice offered by a drunk Brock once. "What do you think I should do?"
🪪 Also in the reverse of Hank, he's much better with bonding to you if you're a lady. If you're male, he often tries to push himself into Hank's type of activities more, pretending to lift weights or be really into sports.
"Aw man, Y/N, you catch the uh- the game? You know, the one?"
If you're a lady, he's able to put his good manners to use, much easier than trying to seem macho. He'll hold open doors, help you out of the car, and carry your bags. Hank will begin to mimic these mannerisms, he hadn't thought of doing all that before.
"Jumpin' Jehosaphat, Y/N! A lady shouldn't carry all those bags- here, allow ME!" His final words is emphasized with a pained lilt of his voice upwards, clearly he didn't know you were hauling some heavy old parts from his fathers lab. His eye twitches, swallowing, knees wobbling like fresh set jello. Despite your insistence, he won't give you the bags back. "No- no- I can do it! Let's just walk in q-quickly!"
🪪 He's also okay with sharing your time with Dean. He's more emotionally mature, and it makes him happy to see someone giving Hank attention, their dad won't. Still, Rusty's 'love' can be just as much of a burden. When he's tired from a long day of being made to wear that ugly old speedsuit, or yelled at for holding a flashlight wrong, he finds solace in seeking you out, getting to simply bask in the presence of a nice neutral party.
🪪 When it comes to keeping you safe, Dean once again feels inadequate to Hank, even if Hank isn't particularly good at rescuing you. It's the bravery, the effort thay Dean envies. He believes avoidance is the best strategy for saftey, Brock can handle anything, as long as you just lay low with him when there's an emergency. This avoidance and lack of action can lead to a fight with Hank in the heat of the moment.
"Cmon, Deano! Don't be a baby, we can take these ninjas!" Hank does a few wild moves that appear more like he's being electrocuted than demonstrating defense.
"That's a horrible idea, Hank! Those ninjas have weapons, ninjas stars! We'll bleed out before we get a hit in! We should go back to the X-1 with Y/N!"
"We can use our J.U.D.O!" It seems Hank thinks spelling out the phrase will frighten you less.
"We don't even know J.U.D.O!" Do the boys think you can't spell?
🪪 It wouldn't take long for Rusty and Brock to catch wind of the boys attachment. Brock finds it endearing, glad deep down that the boys have someone. Still, depending on how close he is to you, he'll take you out for a 'late night drive'.
"Those boys, they uh- they need someone in their corner, yeah." He takes a drag of his cigarette, a hand gripping the steering wheel. "But listen, a lot of crazy stuff happens, lotta nutcases trying to get into this compound. If I find out you're one of em' or something happens to those boys..." he clicks his teeth, eyes never leaving the road ahead. "I don't think I gotta paint you a picture of what's gonna happen, kay?" You don't move, suddenly feeling queasy in the passenger seat. After a few minutes and another drag of his cigarette, he goes back to gis usual nonchalance. "Ya wanna grab a beer?"
Rusty doesn't give a shit for the longest time. It gets the boys out of his hair (or lack thereof.) However, when the boys start asking questions, he quickly shuts them down. If you're a particularly attractive woman, he'll try and use the boys as an in. "So... is Y/N like our mommy?" Hank asks one night at dinner. "No, she'd have to be with Pops, I think..." Dean muses, fingers to his chin. They both pause. "Let's ask Pops!"
"Boys, don't bother daddy when he's working, it gives me a migraine. Or ever, preferably."
"Are you boyfriends and girlfriends with Y/N?"
Rusty pauses, whipping around and grinning, pushing his glasses up with a finger. "She should be so lucky, to get a piece of Ol' Rusty-"
He has a less positive reaction intially if your a man, he already has to deal with people suspicious of him and Brock's relationship.
Dinner is quiet that night, a rare evening everyone is at the table together, when the silence is broken. "Are we one of those families with two dads now?"
