tired dude

- Can I ask you a personal question? - No. - Can I anyway? - Yes.

and then people were like "no wait if it spawns randomly in the world, it's highly likely it would be in an ocean" and then people were debating whether there were enough small fish swimming at the surface in the open ocean that would be able to eat a potato chip and thus save humanity from the potato chip apocalypse.

My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

Because sometimes we all just need to see a guy head-bump a beautiful Beluga whale

While this may be appropriate enrichment for your DOMESTICATED and WELL TRAINED marine biologist or fisherman, please remember that lumberjacks may be tame, but are not domesticated. They are still wild, and they absolutely will freak out if they see you swimming around in their forests.

I really appreciate you eating people's faces. But can you stop eating mine?

This is why I have zero sympathy for Brian Thompson.

This is why I have zero sympathy for Brian Thompson.

More proof that capitalism was never "freedom" or "small government".

Yet again, more proof that capitalism was never about "freedom" or "small government".

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."