tired_gay

(The name I’ll use for now as Fem! Alejandro will be Amaia but let me now what you guys think we should make it! :3)

SO first of all, when I said we’re changing nothing else I meant we’re changing nothing else.  Amaia is just as much of a Casanova and the potential there is so funny.

-Exhibit 1 - evil women are just so- *chefs kiss* and there can never be too many hot vilenesses in a series

- Bridgette’s Bi awakening (No, Alejandro being a girl would not placate Geoff at all for the record. Geoff is a bi feminist who doesn’t downplay sapphic relationships unlike SOME straight men (good thing I consider Gidgette to be poly lol)

-Bridgette is not the only one who gets a Bi awakening. It’s just this new girl strutting in and making all the men insecure. And that is always slay. 

- Amaia spends the entire season gaslight gatekeep girl bossing as in cannon, except it’s better because it’s just this new latina girl showing up and absolutely owning everyone and that’s my kind of ‘strong female character’. 

- I’d like to point out Amaia would still be conventionally attractive in the same way Alejandro is for the masculine side, but just as Alejandro retains feminine traits to keep up his appearance, Amaia retains her muscles (not as bulked up because of lower testosterone levels but still!), and competency. This is a gender swap, not a personality swap.

- Whether Amaia would put on a more femme fatale of seducing girls away from their boyfriends or keep the dominant role from cannon switches up constantly because I think that's neat. 

- Aleheather. Yes. YES. This is literally the entire reason I made this. There are two wolves inside you; one is an enjoyer of the lesbian!Heather head cannon whilst the other finds Aleheather to be one of your favorite cannon ships. AND NOW. NOW THERE’S A SOLUTION TO MY STRUGGLE. 

-First of all we finally get the girlboss vs. girlboss finale we deserve

- Enemies to lovers is a trope I always find to have just such sapphic energy like- that mean girl you were rivals with in school? yea you didn’t hate her you wanted to kiss her

Okay so when I said Alejandro had been pretty sure Noah was also trans from the beginning I mean apart from just ; ✨vibes✨, this happened on the way to Japan ;

Noah desperately hiding behind his teammates to avoid Harold and more of their plane facts (Harold thinks they’re friends. Noah does not.) and he’s like ; “THANKGOD they’re gone. Harold’s actually so fucking annoying I will literally kill myself if I have to so much as breathe the same air as them again.” And then Izzy was like ; “oh haha yeah no that guys actually so weird and ! I’m like- so surprised he hasn’t gotten thrown out of the plane yet!”

And then Noah just looks at her super weird and is like ; “Izzy, Harold actually made a twitter post last month saying they prefer they/them pronouns and are more comfortable with androgynous language, at least when we’re not filming, or when talking to the producers” (Harold is non binary and definitely writes think pieces on gender and why we need to break free from these concepts I DARE YOU TO FIGHT ME ON THIS IM PREPARED)

And Izzy is just like ; “oh haha okay theyre so quirky! Anyways like I said; you literally hate them, im surprised they haven’t gotten thrown out of the plane already lol”

And then Noah immediately went back to talking shit (while using Harold’s correct pronouns). And like when Tyler asked Noah’s just like ; “oh, no I don’t respect Harold remotely, I despise them and wish them misery and misfortune and if I never had to hear their voice again it would be too soon. …. But I’ll still respect their pronouns, duh.”

Alejandro was just in the corner like ; 😳. (When he’s a sarcastic know it all but understands disliking someone is no excuse to misgender them >>)

Also cause alenoah friendship REALLY started when they were leaving Egypt and Gwen made a bi joke (which Cody’s obnoxious bisexual ass ADORED btw) Sierra was like ; “oh haha I personally am ✨🥰cOdYsExuAl😚✨” and then Noah from the corner was just like ;

“More like embarrassing. And a lesbian suffering from comp het. But whatever, you’re not ready for THAT conversation.”

And when everyone else was frozen in shock you already KNOW Alejandro was stifling CACKLES. He was also the only reason Sierra didn’t beat Noah up for saying that (he used his big muscles as a shield Les gooo) and whispered to Noah so no one could hear ;

“They hated him, for he spoke the truth 😌” Noah choked.

And then they were friends! C’mon. We see them in the background talking and laughing with each other WAAAY too much for me to buy that they weren’t friendly.

Personally I’m convinced the reason we didn’t get more alenoah interaction was because they were talking a lot about trans solidarity and being obviously in love with eachother, and this queer phobic show just couldn’t handle that smh

(Yes I am insufferable about them thanks for asking!) okay so Noah was taking his testosterone pills one day after he dropped the singing comment and confirmed it, when Alejandro was just like ; oh yeah! I actually used to take the shots lol, switched to patches while on the show” and Noah was like ; “BRO WHY????”

Cause WHY WOULD YOU PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THAT??? (The answer is because Alejandro has issues) but anyways it lead to Noah bringing Heather into the argument so she could help him tell Alejandro ; ?!? No I don’t take my hormones through shots??! I’m waaaay too hot to suffer like that”

Anyways Alejandro and Noah totally just spent that first half of the season bonding over trans masc stuff.

Like Alejandro spent SO much time complaining about how his sweat used to smell like flowers, and how he definetly doesn’t miss the dysphoria but he does miss that.

Noah’s like ; yeah I actually kept some of my skirts because they’re waaaaay more comfortable than pants, but I don’t wear them outside cause then people wanna be queerphobic! Like yeah I’m a guy in a skirt, deal with it.

And they bonded over how they understand misogyny and rape culture in a way cis men really NEED to. And talk about all the male privledge they’ve noticed they’ve gotten (they got overheard and caused several debates on gender theory and politics between contestants that was pretty eye opening for some of them)

Anyways London happens and Alejandro has to get his trans homie eliminated cause he knows too much yeah yeah. So these two were still being petty and bitter, but this definitely happened after the wedding challenge ;

Alejandro and Courtney were debating about which dress had been the best, which then sparked a debate between all remaining contestants on masculinity and stuff:

And in the end Alejandro gets fed up; leaves, AND THEN COMES BACK IN THE V NECK WEDDING DRESS, looking hot AF (just look at slipper slopes fanart if you want a visual) and turns to Duncan, strokijg his soul patch and smirking like ; really chico? dresses make me any less of a man?? then why am i still far more one than YOU.

duncan contemplated on his actions and sexuality a lot that day. And then came away from the experience causing far less micro aggressions :3

And Noah totally saw because Chris definetly rehired him after his elimination (personally I believe he makes a point of firing Noah at least twice a week, it’s a thing at that point) and so he was helping the poor poor overworked (starved crazed desperate) interns in the editing room and was just like ;

Dammit you’re still a slimy eel who got me eliminated and I’m mad at you… but I would REALLY like to make out with you rn unfortunately , this sucks.

* So first of all, I just would like to acknowledge the fact that Heather is also trans and she’s a lesbian (it’s true she told me herself), which means; two of the canonically hottest people on this show (Alejandro and Heather) are both trans and I just think that’s neat.

*Okay but what if the main reason Alejandro doesn’t like to be called Al is because his deadname ALSO started with an Al (Ale still is a fine nickname tho cayse deadname was an Alm***) ; and so it was Jose’s way of getting away with constantly deadnaming him. (Owen and the others did not know and would have stopped if they had but Alejandro was stubborn about pretending it didn’t bother him)

I know it’s a more popular headcannon that Noah has all older sisters who are all really good at sports and stuff BUT hear me out. He ACTUALLY has six older sisters and two older brothers; and when he transitioned his brothers were like ; “YES MUHAHAHA OUR NUMBERS GROW!!!”

Remember how good Alejandro was with the ladies? Yeah no cis-het man is that charming I’m not sorry. He understands girls because he spent so much time being socialized as a girl!! He just thinks about what his besties in elementary school (and him because he also likes men) swooned over!

During WT they would have been 18 by then right? So personally I think Alejandro had his top surgery (I mean he is rich and has access to resources I think he managed to pretty soon after he was old enough to be legal) and Noah had a binder. And so the first time Alejandro is shirtless (would have been Yukon right??) he catches Noah staring at him with a weird look; and not entirely out of attraction like the girls (that were attracted to men) and Tyler were

And then later when poor, sweet, oblivious Owen, is asking about Alejandro’s chest scars (his bestie Noah hasn’t had surgery yet so he didn’t know what those would look like) Noah changes the subject and distracts everyone; and Alejandro is like ; ??? Thankyou???? So much actually????

And alenoah was friends until London; I WILL FIGHT ON THIS, one day Noah just complains about how he hates singing during challenges since he can’t sing really now that he’s on hormones (personally I like to think Noah used to sing with his brother and two or his sisters sometimes when he was younger, but had to relearn once he went on testosterone)

And Alejandro is just like ; HES LIKE ME/ I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT :D!!! He had thought so since basically the beginning. But it was still nice to get that casual confirmation.

When the others asked Noah about his swim binder in Jamaica Alejandro also changed the topic (but after flirting that Noah looked hot) cause Noah seemed unsure about explaining it.

Okay I have more lol but in case no one actually cares there’s enough for now.

*picture this evil manipulative mastermind genuinely carrying around a first aid kit all season because Tyler is physically incapable of going five minutes without severely injuring himself and Alejandro just keeps giving him bandaids and sighing because ‘seriously chico?’ But he still patches him up no matter how many times it happens because he wants his teammates in “peak condition!” Lmao (it never really helps for long but Alejandro lies to himself and no one has the heart to tell him)

Then he also starts pocketing snacks to have on him at all times just in case because he hates the sound of Owens stomach rumbling, and also Alejandro gets hissy when Owen says pretty much anything, so he just starts throwing a bag of chips in Owens direction whenever he starts to open his mouth or do anything else to annoy him as a distraction (had about a 30% success rate)

He constantly had to steer Noah from running into anything because the nerd has this habit of reading while walking which he refuses to stop and insists he is actually watching where he’s going- but by the second day Alejandro had watched him nearly walk out of that one hole in the plane while 12,000 feet in the air, COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS, and so he started just dragging Noah by the scuff of his collar like a kitten whenever he’s standing with his nose in the book lmao (Noah could not care less and Alejandro finds that infuriating)

Izzy is obviously concerning but Alejandro just looked at her and figured : y’know what? She’s more likely to injure someone else than herself’ and he was right she is canonically a menace to society but also started a game or dare or dare within Team Chris at the very beginning of the season that all besides Alejandro are participating in, and IT GOT CRAZY. Alejandro saved all of their lives from their stupid decisions at least four times each but zero appreciation because “you’re interfering with the game, man”