Talking to you makes me feel like I’m drunk without even drinking.
“Señor Madrid come and join me at my table....Johnny said blablabla.....What else have y-y-you— GOD DAMMNIT IT.”
Rick stopped his recorder once again.
“Im not even fucking capable of s-s-speaking without stuttering !!”
It always has been a huge complex for Rick. Even if everyone around me said to him that it was nothing, it made him feel like he was dumb or something. And who would hire a dumb man whereas there are plenty of actors that can articulate.
Rick held his head between his hands and tried to not lost it. Again.
He was particularly under pressure these days, he couldn’t afford to look ridiculous by not being at 100%.
Rick always liked the booze but ever since Bounty Law was over, it has became a little more than just a like. Rick was drinking way too much and knew it, but deep down, he just wanted to feel less stressed out, less useless and a little more confident. But more than anything, he wanted to keep alive the illusion that his career was leading to something.
So he drank one whisky sour, and another, and another until he couldn’t count anymore, or even couldn’t do anything that requires him to use his brain cells.
When Rick drinks too much and continue feeding the illusion that his life is amazing, he wants to party. Then he remembers that because of the same drink that makes all his problems magically disappears, it also made magically disappears his driver licence, so if he wants to move he must call someone that can drive him. He knows a person like this, and he also know this person loves to party too.
Rick dialed he doesn’t know how Cliff’s number and waited for his friend to pick up with only company the ongoing beeps that felt like hammer’s hits in his ears.
Cliff woke up in a jolt by the Brandy’s barkings which seamed to become louder and louder each second that passed without Cliff being completely woken up.
As soon as he lift his head his neck started to hurt, not so surprising he thought, since he fall asleep once again on his chair.
It’s just several days seconds after that he noticed that the telephone was ringing. Who could call him at this hour ? The night calls were often bad news and Cliff didn’t know at all who could be in such bad situations that a night call would become essential and why he would call him.
But he ,anyway since he was awake, get close to the phone and finally picked up.
“Hello ?” Cliff’s voice was confused both
because of his premature wake up and by this phone call.
“Cliffffff ! Finally I have the impression that I’ve been trying to call you for hours, you’re harder to join than Steve McQueen.” Was it because of the lack of sleep but it sounded like Rick’s voice, a drunk Rick of course but it still was Rick.
“Rick ?” Cliff was scrubbing his eye with
the palm than wasn’t holding the phone and even if the answer was a bit obvious, what would a drunk Rick would call him ?
“Of course it’s me buddyyy ! Look, it’s been a while since we drank our asses off so.. I started without you but you can still come and join me.” Rick sounded like a child, a child who did a mistake and was perfectly aware of it, but who anyway tried to onboard his friend with him.
“Rick it’s—” Cliff looked at his alarm clock for the first time since he opened his eyes “3:30 in the morning and you drunk called me and asked to get drunk with you ?”
“You sound like a old man Cliff, I’ve known a funnier you. I’m disappointed. I just want to have fun.”
“Rick.. Im starting to know you and I think that you got yourself drunk to stop thinking about your problems.” Cliff’s voice was resigned, it would not be the first time that Rick drunk to the point he didn’t remember why he started to drunk, and it would scared a little Cliff, especially when the day after Rick promised that it was the last time.
“Wrong. Wrong. It’s not to stop thinking about my problems.. It’s to stop thinking about the fact that I’m a talentless loser. See ? It’s about my complexs, not my problems.” Rick tried sarcasm without believing in it himself, he knew it was the bitter truth and that he will have to face it eventually. But not now, or at least not according to him.
“Rick.. You put yourself into so much pressure. You’re a talented actor, I know it and you know it. And Hollywood knows it.” It made Cliff sad that Rick was doubting himself this much. Cliff had always found Rick so talented whether with or without a script.
“I may be talented Cliff but have you ever seen a big star stuttering ? No you haven’t because it doesn’t exist because it’s lame and nobody wants this so my career will collapse one day or another. Maybe sooner than I expected. So I try to enjoy it for the time I still can, and I enjoy it by making myself drunk to the point that I don’t know anymore where by bedroom is my own house.” Rick’s tone was as sour as all the whiskys that he might have drunk.
“Im not allowing you to say that Rick. Because that’s wrong and you know it. You’ve been thought a rough phase since Bounty Law was cancelled. You think it’s your fault, it’s not. You think you’re a bad actor, you’re not. You think that the fact that you stutter is a problem, it isn’t. You have doubts and that’s normal but don’t punish your body with this treatment. You have the right to have a decrease of self confidence, we all have. But instead of poisoning your body, just call me and talk to be about your problems, it’s saner and I’ll be glad to comfort you Rick. Because that’s what a friend does, and I’m your friend.”
Cliff’s heart was pounding in his chest, he appreciates Rick a lot, he was his best friend and deep down, he knew that it was more for him, but he didn’t think that it was mutual but he doesn’t care, he just wanted to be there for him to show his that he matters to someone, to him.
He would contain himself to not saying words that he might regret after. Even if Rick was as drunk as it’s possibly human, he didn’t want to say those words out loud, because it would become real, not just some thoughts he have when he’s alone, or the feelings he have when he looks briefly at Rick when stopped at a red spotlight.
“I want you to be here Cliff, with me. I miss you.” Rick’s voice was almost begging. Cliff couldn’t refrain a grin on his face.
“If I come, you put the booze away ?”
“For you, I’ll drop everything.” It almost felt like a promise.
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes. If when I got there, you didin’t get rid of all of this, I will not hesitate to turn around and leave.”
“You’re aren’t going to see anything, I promise.” And this time Cliff believed him.
“You’re Rick fucking Dalton, don’t you
“And don’t forget that you’re the best friend of Earth Cliff.” Cliff could feel at his voice that Rick was smiling and he was too.
“I try and it’s not easy every days with you, you’re a real pain in my ass.“
“I know but what can I do, I’m an actor.”
“See you in twenty minutes Rick.”
He hang up the phone and yes it might be 3:40 in the morning but Cliff couldn’t be happier. He was the total opposite of being bothered. The more he sees Rick in a day the better the day is, so seeing him since 4 in the morning couldn’t be a better way to start a day.
germansingergirl
izzy806
baratheonpilled
snowghoul
titsay
yousharknotpass
