*hilarious joke here*

I’m at a loss for words

people say tumblr only has one joke but this post clearly shows that we have two

I’m sorry. We tried to make your boyfriend in a poll, and he’s 84% vanilla extract now. Yeah. I’m sorry. He’ll smell really good if you bake him, though!

Tip: You can keep just about any guy in a little bottle on your bookshelf

NOT dudes though, dudes are semi-aquatic and need active tides for surfing or they turn into incels

If you have a proper little gentleman he can be free range indoors unless you have a teacup dragon (they are natural competitors for an ecological niche and don’t get along)

It’s illegal to keep A Man in your house (that’s kidnapping)

Hey what about a strange little fellow?

A strange little fellow belongs on the moors, howling with the winds and roaming about (free-range), but in a pinch, they can BRIEFLY occupy an attic or laboratory

This is the rule making and information rich content that I come on this site for

actually my favourite part of glass onion was that even when all the lights were off, you could still see what was happening, which is good for a movie

i think tumblr should start supporting flash dress up games

*survives the horrors by being such a silly goofy guy that my presence fundamentally changes the genre*

One of my favorite things about fic writers who endlessly churn out fics for the same ship, is seeing what little details stick from fic to fic even when they’re not in the same universe

Sire, the woodland gnomes have pledged 10 apples to our cause