pluto is a planet

This whole fucking time I thought the mall near my apartment was going to be holding a Grinch vs. Santa wrestling match but now I’m pretty sure it was just a creative way to announce they’re going to have both Santa and the Grinch available for your kid to take pictures with

WAIT the associated Insta handle says more about wrestling please god let there actually be a wrestling match please

THERE IS WRESTLING I REPEAT THERE IS IN FACT WRESTLING

this is the only post we’re allowed to reblog from now on lads

im trying to be authentic and true to myself but she’s very elusive which is sexy but hard to work with

angst with a happy ending is my favourite honestly like yes bitch give me emotional conflict but dont completely ruin my soul you know

Everybody start selling our phones with the tumblr app downloaded like they did with flappy bird

Having tumblr on ur phone decreases the value

there are two things that i need 2 be accomplishing at all times and that is 1) do i look sexy and 2) is my continued existence a threat 2 the system only once i’ve ticked both those off may i proceed

just because i hate me doesnt mean you can

It’s okay that you’re not who you thought you would be

concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all like “pssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sss” or just petty shit like “haaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannngg”

Third year he eats Scabbers and saves them all a lot of time

TOO DAMN CUTE

Girls don’t want boys. Girls want to glide down ladders in their own private library while their red cloak flutters behind them, owning swords and many chocolates, with fast WiFi at all times.

i think a lot of you would be a lot happier if you stopped pretending to be characters from murder animes

When life gives you lemons be like “wow this fic is really old”

Even if you don’t like Halloween you have to appreciate its position as the sole thing keeping Christmas from advancing even earlier into the year like a cancerous growth

The goth kids hold the line.