鲑鱼

Counting or not counting World Cup goals

sports is not serious except it is its not important so you have to calm down a little bit but also its the most important thing in the world nothing has ever been more important its dead serious its life or death but maybe we can all relax a little bit but dont relax too much because it is so crucial it is so massive it is culture it is identity it is intrinsically woven into the fabric of society however we could maybe chill out sometimes except i wont because its that serious its so so serious

I heavily fw bro

tv show. white man. hes sad. he has to do important thing but its hard. his girlfriend died probably. TWSIT!! theres another white man. maybe MORE. hes sad too but for different reason. its very deep probably. theyre best friends but not gay but maybe they are haha fandom!!! every girl dies or goes away. just not gay white man friend. 10 seasons 100 million viewers. what will moody white men do this week.

This post just turned 10 years old which is pretty fucked up actually. When I made this post people would say things like “actually supernatural only has 8 seasons” but here we are in 2023 so who’s laughing now. Not me I want to die

Heated rivalry shouldve been about 2 ugly old guys that play mahjong then maybe id consider watching it

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

Did you just seriously give birth in my terrarium

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks dont mine the deep’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.

Every video I see of Erika Kirk is more annoying than the last. I can’t imagine going home to that every day, you do start to understand why Charlie shot himself

You can reverse the flow of Mako if you concentrate

You can also make her go faster if you unfocus your eyes