It starts off when they’re still enemies in the Goblet of Fire. Draco makes a taunt about who Harry’s going to ask to the Yule Ball and how they must be from the worst of the worst lot and Harry rolls his eyes and says, “Well, fitting you say that, Malfoy, because I was going to ask you.” A perfect zing, Harry. 10/10.

But now the ball’s in Draco’s court and obviously he’s not going to pass up on the chance to humiliate the scarhead so he takes the most logical route of humiliation and calls out his bluff: “Fine, Potter, I reckon we’re going.”

But do you think Harry James Potter is just going to back down? That stubborn teenager is going to stare Draco down and say, “Reckon we are.”

Ron’s confused and Hermione’s confused and literally the entire castle is confused but Harry’s satisfied because he called out a bluffer’s counterbluff with a bluff of his own. And they just keep it up.

“I suppose you don’t even know how to dance, Potter?”

The furious teenager who spent years having to watch soapbox dramas with Mrs. Figg just glares at him in his stupid dress robes. “I know some things.”

“Prove it.”

“Fine.”

It’s like that for days until Draco makes the ultimate power move by inviting Harry to the Malfoy’s Annual New Years Eve Ball, taking out a Daily Prophet ad no less, because oh, oh, he’s got Potter now. He’ll never accept and he’ll be humiliated in front of the entire wizarding world. And do you think Harry’s just going to go down without a fight? God, no, he’s going to win whatever the hell this is because he’s Harry Potter, Draco better be worried, oh boy.

They’re still going at it six months later.

“Err—Malfoy?” Crabbe says. “Potter just sent you a dozen roses?”

“That son of a bitch! Send a box of chocolates. That’ll show him.”

“Um, Draco—?”

“You have have rabies! You have rabies!” they chanted at her.

and then there’s playing a version of cinderella’s stepsister four times

four

separate

productions

francieum

quirkybrittany

justgirlythings

“I like your shoelaces” “I stole them from the president” and people actually fucking doing this in public

we still called porn fics “smut” and “lemons”

“you must be fun at parties”

cole sprouse’s tumblr social experiment, and some people taking it so seriously that they threatened mass suicide

mitt romney

hetastuck (hetalia and homestuck fandoms were moirails i guess)

hussieruya (people unironically shipping the creators of hetalia and homestuck)

andrew hussie actually asking about hussieruya in his twitter

the obsession with andrew hussie’s lips

superwholock fandom (this was their prime)

supernatural has a gif for everything

“Fuck you watson” somehow being praised as the best comeback possible?? ok lol

hipster side of tumblr vs fandom side of tumblr, and all those pictures of the two coexisting to bring some sort of peace? as if we were at war with each other?? wtf was up with that

the dumbest fake stories holy shit, and everyone believed them

benedict cumberbatch everywhere

that sherlock gif of benedict cumberbatch looking into a door’s peep hole and people saying how if you cover one side of his face he looks confident but if you cover the other side he looks sad, so they said he’s the best actor in the world or whatever

gangnam style everywhere

people being shamed from using memes or even saying the word meme

“Oh, you facebook people think tumblr is boring? Well, we’ll find you…Supernatural fandom, grab your demons! Sherlock fandom, grab your Watsons! Doctor Who fandom, grab your Tardises! Harry Potter fandom, grab your wands! Homestuck fandom, grab your strife cards! Hetalia fandom, grab your pasta!” proceed for 1628519 more fandoms

“im pretty sure thats taylor swift” “no thats becky”

the dancing chandler gif from friends

“Reblog if you dont have a problem with gay marriage!” followed by ten mile long additions of rainbow gifs and pictures and 9gag memes

potato jesus (i’ll admit, this was actually funny)

the reblog button being at the top of posts

cuil theory, aka “i give you a hamburger”

27 comments on a post just saying “INSTANT REBLOG” or “PRESS PLAY”

song mixups from people “accidentally opening a bunch of tabs playing music” but it was actually from a pop mix album

“ah, the scalene triangle”

XD vs :D discourse

the most reblogged picture on tumblr

doge

men of tumblr

the cursed long ass “fedoras arent that bad!” post

touch my butt and buy me pizza

spread this like wildfire

tumblr university (complete with uniforms)

tumblr island

tumblr nation

these all would lead to the creation and failure of dashcon

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said.