Everybody Lies

I’m not mad about it

The struggle of a southern accent!!!

new ask game: instead of telling me why you followed me, why haven’t you unfollowed me?

Name a more iconic duo than my fear of abandonment and instinct to self isolate, I’ll wait

En Anglais, on ne dit pas “quatre vingt dix neuf”, on dit “ninety nine” qu'on pourrait traduire comme “Hurr durr, regardez mois, j'ai un système de numérotation fonctionnel” et je crois que c'est magnifique.

im permanently emotionally damaged but it’s chill, I’m chill

I don’t like to call Frankenstein’s creation a ‘monster’ because he seems pretty chill, so I just call him Frankenstein’s lil boi

*new yorker accent* yeah, that’s guy’s just Frankie’s kid, what’s it to ya?

infants are so goddamn funny. i was holding my niece today and i just told her “i diagnose you with baby” and she stared at me with the absolute widest eyes like i’d just told her the secret to life itself so i nodded and went “it’s true! you’re just baby” and she stopped for a few seconds, then absolutely YELLED her little head off, very seriously informed me, “ABABABABABAAAAA” and faceplanted into my shoulder, where she promptly began to try to eat my shirt