ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ running away.

god, his brother is so persistent, and for what...? not that peter should be all that surprised, when it comes down to it, because ted has always been way more... involved, than you would assume he would be. but it sure is inconvenient! how the hell is he supposed to, and the rest of the idiots that he happens to associate with, going to get themselves out of this mess, alive? sane, for that matter?

The door opened and Ted stepped back, hands dropping to his sides and eyes flicking across his brother's face. He took in his flushed expression trying to better gauge what was going on. i just feel like shit. Did Ted believe him? Sure. Why wouldn't he? What other reasons were there to believe? It helped Pete's case that he also looked like shit, but-- "Jesus." He rolled his eyes, giving his brother the space he needed in order to move away from the bathroom fully if he wished to, "What crawled up your ass?" He flicked his gaze down then back up, frown worming deeper into his features, "I just don't wanna get sick. Is that a crime now?"

He knew that living with his brother would come with its ups and downs, but most of the time they were generally out of the other's business. Mostly. Ted was a nosy guy and liked to know things. Okay, so maybe he wasn't generally out of Pete's business. But! Normally, truly, Ted was too busy to care. Today for some reason he did. Maybe it was because he really didn't want to get sick. He was a busy fucking guy, you know? Couldn't get sick. It'd ruin his plans.

emma had a semi-good idea of when this had happened. despite being busy and exhausted with a business and three kids, there were more nights than not that they found themselves enjoying a shower or a wind down in bed together. they'd just make sure to be decent before they fell asleep since their bed was no stranger to at least one of their kids ending up in it at night. henry was the most likely, often crawling in on emma's side and curling up. but on a night, even with distant thunder? the king sized bed included all three kids in the mix. she and ted weren't trying for another kid. they weren't really preventing it either. they had talked about him getting a vasectomy for the past couple of years, but life would happen before the next time it was brought up. well, look where procrastination had gotten them . . .

" baby number four, " she snorted as she extended the test to show him the very obvious positive. she exhaled a breath, her head slowly shaking. " holy shit, t . . . "

baby number four...

Ted reached out to take the test from her, fingers brushing hers as she held it out. He shifted with a turn to lean into the counter, eyes dropping to the test as she exclaimed in a quiet breath her thoughts. He licked his lips once more in a short period, the action meant to be in thought this time. He furrowed his brow just slightly and couldn't stop the small scoff, trying to make light of the situation, "Guess I got some really good swimmers, eh?" He paused but only briefly before he was setting the test down and stepping forward, "I'm sorry-- I.. that wasn't the right thing to say here."

He reached out to gently take her by the arms and gave them a squeeze, "Baby number four." The words sunk in and his breath caught a little in his chest, lips pinching together and sucking in between his teeth. He doesn't find this hard to believe or even impossible. Ted... fuck. He'd talked about getting snipped several times, but something was always coming up-- something was always stopping him. And truth be told.. Ted had never been good at keeping his dick wrapped. He should. He should've been better at it, but God-- his wife just felt so good. He released his lips and exhaled a breath before speaking again, "Hey, look at me," he lifted a hand to gently tip her chin up, "we're well versed in all of this, yeah? I know it's not what we expected, but... at least we know you make one hell of a sexy pregnant woman."

it had taken a couple hours , a few tears , and a lot of reorganizing the absolute chaos of his attic , but the night before bill had finally found what he'd been looking for. they sit now in a little paper bag at his desk , tissue paper haphazardly stuffed on top. he isn't sure how he's supposed to present the gift to ted , but he has them waiting.

finally , he sees his coworker friend arrive for the day and , taking a deep breath , he grabs the bag and heads over to him. if someone had told bill a year ago that he would be giving @timebastard something so precious , he would have kicked them in the head called them a nut , but look how far they've come.

Jane had been born a little over a month ago and though there were bags under his eyes from lack of proper sleep, Ted was over the moon. He loved being a dad already despite being tired and worn to the bone already. He wouldn't give it up for the world. Some nights he'd be up throughout the entirety of it just holding a sleeping Jane because he didn't wanna lay her down. Emma would playfully scold him about it reminding him that he needed rest too, but he just... he loved that little girl. He didn't want to waste a minute of being able to hold her and that's what made going back to work all that more dreadful. He knew Emma would be okay taking care of Jane, especially with his mother coming over to assist. But he was partially jealous of it. He wanted to be home, he wanted to be taking care of her. Fuck CCRP.

He tried not to hold that resentment when he came into work that day-- walking in with a cup of coffee already in hand and bags present under dark hues. He looked tired, but he glowing nonetheless. It was hard not to be. He hated being in the office, but he knew as soon as the day was over he'd be back home with his girls. He just had to get through his day and be as patient with it as he could be being so tired. He nodded his head here or there with a small grin when he was welcomed back, some even congratulating him. Mr. Davidson had stopped him on his entry to ask how the new life was treating him and Ted had commented he couldn't be happier. Because it was true, he wasn't sure he could top how he felt and he'd married a dream girl.

When he reached his office space he pushed open the door and stepped in, setting down his coffee and slumping his shoulders slightly with a sigh. God, this sucked. He shifted to pull his phone from his pocket, lifting it so the screen would light up and show the lock screen of Emma and Jane. He was a bit pathetic about it, wasn't he?

good morning, ted...

Ted turned, head looking over his shoulder first then spinning fully until he could face Bill head on. He spotted the gift bag in his hand and felt his brows pinch together slightly before lifting his gaze back to his face. He listened with a skeptical look at first before relaxing the expression when the bag was offered. He took it and before it could even be properly glimpsed at, Bill was stating what it was. In a flash Ted's expression softened considerably, lips twitching at the corners with a smile. He shifted the tissue paper slightly to look in at the shoes, chest tightening with a squeeze of warmth. "Bill," he started, frame turning to set the bag down before he was looking back at his coworker and newfound friend, "I don't know what to say." Thank you, is a good start! "Thanks, buddy," he rested his hands onto his hips, resisting the urge to be too forward and pull him in for a grateful hug. "I'm sure they will, she's still pretty small," he chuckled lightly, "This was really nice of you to do. Really. I appreciate it. Emma'll love them too. We've been too sleep deprived to consider much beyond onesies."

you hear that? i'm crying.

You're more than anything I could've anticipated any Spankoffski ever being, but that's just because you're all really just Perkins in disguise.