#forwardmoved

there are so many people i love and care about in this year that i couldn't possibly tag everyone, but if i had to tag some bitches--

@perkysbud you know i love you. you know i would do anything for you. you have been a rock in my life this past year and a constant i can lean on. i really and truly don't know what i would do without you. you're my best friend and favorite writing partner, i know that's SOMETHING TO SAY AND MIGHT BE UPSETTING FOR SOME. but like. i have so many characters and universes built with you. that's important and special to me. LIKE YOU.

@storiem you have become one of the coolest people i know and someone i trust so completely. you've easily wedged yourself into my life in a way that wouldn't be the same without you. i am so grateful for how close we've gotten in the last year. i cannot wait to continue that friendship and just watch it grow.

@witchdoctrines listen to me when i say you are still one of the easiest people i know and can talk to. you are someone i can speak to without judgement and yet with so much care for my well being. i know i can rely on you and that's something that means the world to me.

@zoomingupthathill really and truly, bee, you have also become a fast and easy friend. we've gotten closer in the last few months and i am beyond grateful for that. you're so understanding and so patient and just this good soul who means well. i want nothing more than the best for you. you deserve that and i hope the new year is kind to you.

@crisisbabe i literally went to LA with you this year and had the time of my life. it is a trip i will always and forever cherish, just like how i cherish my friendship with you. you're someone i know i can have conversations with no matter how hard they can be. you're one of my constant favorites and i cannot wait to spend more time together.

@storiesbreathed ali you are one of the nicest, easiest, and kindest souls to get along with. you have so much love in your heart and have such a kindness that i've never seen in anyone else before. i am so lucky to call you a friend for another year. im also so sorry for my behavior at hotpot. i'll check myself next time LMAO

@forwardmoved KOURT. i love you, okay? i love being silly with you and joking with you. i love writing with you and playing games (even if it was that one time on FN-- there will be more.) you are so real and genuine in the way you go about yourself and i admire that. i admire you and your writing. you're so creative and i am blessed to have you in my life.

“Go away!” He’s locked himself in the bathroom, hands braced against the door, fingers curling against the wood. Away from Michael, away from the only other person in the house tonight. Away from the one person nearby he can really hurt. Because Michael cut himself a few minutes ago and Sam can smell the blood like it’s right under his nose. He’s hungry, and he wants it. Which means he’s a danger to his brother who he loves very much and seriously doesn’t want to kill over what basically amounts to a goddamn papercut.

Shit, where’s David to cart him out of here when he needs him?

Michael lets out a loud sigh as he flops down on his back next to Star on the sand, not even caring he's getting it in his hair. He stares up at the stars above them just taking in the sight.

"Marko wants to take me clothes shopping at some point," he mutters, turning his head to look up at her. "Do you think I should let him? I think my clothes are just fine. I mean I'm plain and boring compared to all of you, but...still." He was never the most fashion forward, even when living back in Arizona, but he didn't think his style was that boring.

the  boys  had  had their  fun——-  and  star,  too,  it  seemed.  now  it  was  ariel's  turn.  she's  slow  in  her  approach,  stepping  silently  as  she  slithered  up  to  him  from  behind.  although  now  she  is  not  a  predator  and  he  is  not  prey.  instead  ariel  is  cautious,  curious——-  friendly,  even.  " you're  star's  friend,  michael… " is she  asking ?  is  she  telling ?  "  i  bet  that  hurt  like  hell,  "  a  long  fingernail  playfully  flicked  the  large  silver  star  earring  dangling  in  the  boy's  fresh  piercing,  " your  ear  would  be  infected  by  now  if  you'd  gotten  it  done  on  the  boardwalk  by  that  guy  gene. "  an  easy  laugh  gives  him  a  quick  glimpse  of  her  fangs.  " at  least  that's  what  star  says,  i  guess  i'm  just  spreading  propaganda  on  her  behalf. "  in  one  swift  motion,  she's  up  and  over  the  worn  leather  couch  making  herself  comfortable,  " you  wanna  sit ? "

she should be taking @forwardmoved to her house , the little yellow structure that she's learned in the past three years to call home. but what lays waiting for him there isn't something she's ready for him to see. not yet. not without some warning. the handcuffs are good excuse , the skin of his wrists raw and inflamed beneath the metal. even as they walk to the infirmary , she can feel him everywhere. the warmth of his body next to her , the way he finds every excuse to touch her in little , subtle ways. god , how could she have survived this long without him ? except it's a silly question , one that answers itself with the flutter in her gut , the fire that lights up her nerves. ella.

they're sitting together , completely alone in a building so familiar to shannon she could navigate it with her eyes closed. alcohol on a piece of cotton , she finds herself wincing as she cleans the little cuts over his skin. her eyes can't look into his for too long -- not without her face going red. she's quiet , focused on this intimacy of care. but inside , her thoughts are buzzing. it's sayid who finally speaks , and somehow , despite the space between them under unflattering fluorescent lights , she can feel his words as they leave him. and she certainly feels the heat that rises through her body at them.

" i saw you in my dreams every night."

the world around lex is muffled , sounds barely registering as she walks out into the waiting room. she doesn't even see if ethan anyone is waiting for her , going through the motions of walking back over to reception. the woman working is kind as she struggles to make sense of her words , eyes unfocused , ears buzzing. over her shoulder , lex's bag hangs limply. in her hand , a crumpled list the doctor had given her. after the tests confirmed his suspisions. after lex has been so sure he was wrong. somehow , she answers the questions now , talking about a payment plan -- she doesn't have it in her now to reach out and get the cash -- and confirming the follow-up appointment with the referred doctor. it's all so... clinical. which yeah , duh , but it helps in a way. makes the news less real , less scary , allows for lex to float for just a little longer.

fuck , she's tired. her elbow is sore from attempting to catch her fall back in the diner. her head is pounding and her gut-- well , she doesn't want to think about that general part of her body. not quite yet. not until she figures out how she actually feels about what's happening. she didn't plan this. any of this. not a single fucking thing in her life has ever been planned , why did she think something like this would be any different ? the receptionist reminds her that there's a line. lex nods and walks away , turning around and finally noticing that he's there waiting. of course he is. ethan's always there when she needs him most -- even when she doesn't think she does. except the last time.

walking towards @forwardmoved , it's as though lex is moving through water -- every muscle in her body straining. her skull feels like it's closing in on her brain , a pressure growing growing growing. briefly , she wonders how he knew she was here , but then a hazey memory surfaces of janet , her coworker , on the phone. it makes sense. she did pass out at work.

lex blinks. she's in front of him. drained and probably looking like a goddamn mess. still , there's a warmth that can't be numbed -- even when all other sensations are. she loves him so much.

❝ that's— you . . . ❞ caroline's train of thought goes entirely off the rails. with her eyes wide and nose slightly crinkled, she attempts to (as discreetly as possible) look past him at one of the reflective glass panes on the door. ❝ i do not do that, ❞ she then insists, reshuffling her papers in a poor attempt to get them back on track.

she can't say she expected richard's employee evaluation to go any other way. most of the sessions she's conducted with his coworkers throughout the week stick to very strict half - hour intervals. caroline prides herself on her punctuality. after all, if she were to dawdle, the productivity of the entire facility would plummet. and while cave likely wouldn't give a damn, she, gem of aperture, sure would.

that being said . . . there really is something about him that can knock even pin - perfect caroline momentarily off - kilter. even as she smooths out her skirt, he's still smirking, obviously pleased with his work.

❝ now . . . we were on question four : what do you enjoy most about your job ? ❞ she can barely get through her sentence without an exasperated laugh slipping through. call her a mind reader, but caroline has an idea of what he might say just by the grin on his face. his voice, drawl and all, is so clear in her mind: why, gettin' to see your angel face every day, miss caroline !