spankoffski.

There was something gross that had washed all over Emma with tonight. She knew Ted. She trusted Ted, but there was just something about the Jenny situation that didn't sit well with her. Maybe it was her lack of a poker face when Ted offered to walk Jenny out to her car or the mutual feeling Mila was getting, but she was thankful when Mila whisked Jenny away.

She flashed a small, tight smile at Mila and Gary before her hand dropped, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. Her attention turned back to Ted as he asked her if she wanted to get out of here, complete with an offer to pick up where they left off in the car. She was not in the mood. She was in this weird cycle of being pissed off and then feeling like a dick for being pissed off.

"I think I need another drink," she grumbled under her breath, lifting her hand to rub at the side of her neck as she turned her attention to the bartender to give him a nod.

i think i need another drink.

Ted watched as she turned away from him, moving closer to the bar that wasn't far from the tall table they were at. He frowned as she waved down the bartender, brow furrowing a little and feet shuffling to follow her. He slid up behind her, hands falling to her hips and giving a small squeeze as he tipped his head down with a slight arch of his frame. His lips brushed the top of her head then down until he was near her ear, muttering out a low, "We do have booze at your place..."

He slid one of his hands around, settling it on her stomach to draw her back against him further so his hips could lightly rolling up along her backside. He smirked near her ear, speaking again, "C'mon, Perks. Let's get the fuck out of here..." He's oblivious to her mood, oblivious to her frustrations and anger. He hadn't noticed at all the frustration she'd displayed when he offered to walk Jenny out-- and he certainly wasn't picking up on it now. He was on a one mind track and that had everything to do with the way she'd grabbed him moments ago.

Her eyes squinted as he corrected her before she gave a snort and a roll of her eyes. "Okay, so you're blackmailing me with a shitty tip and a tip song," she amended, her nose wrinkling, "I'm not sure that helps your case, especially with what happens the second that dollar hits the bottom of that jar..."

"Look, we've got a line," she insisted as she gestured to the one person behind him who gave a wide-eyed pass of a wave to signal they were still looking at the menu. Or maybe they were more interested in what was transpiring here. She sighed and her shoulders dropped as brown eyes flicked back to Ted, "You know, you could also just ask without the tip being involved..." Her nose immediately wrinkled with regret at how that could be twisted, her hand lifting to stop him, "Don't --"

He didn't seem phased with the idea of blackmailing her into giving him a straight answer. Instead he just held his grin, dollar lingering over the jar as she mentioned the line. He looked over his shoulder at the person then back to her, tilting his head in thought as she seemed to ponder from there. It wasn't until she was mentioning he could also just ask that he withdrew the bill, drawing it away from the jar and holding it against the counter-- hand flat along it. His other settled onto his hip and he wore a confident, growing smirk, "Oh, I think a tip will definitely be involved somewhere if we get together for a date."

He winked at her then shifted to lean forward, arms coming down to fold against the slightly higher counter. It still forces him to arch his back slightly, but he just swings his weight with a hum, "That said... you wanna get together sometime soon then? Dinner? Dessert back at my place...?"

why'd you kill the music?

lost, [ NAME ], we're lost.

oh, right, that's where we're going. i lost track like 200 miles ago.

it doesn't make you any less of a man.

just get us to [ LOCATION ] before i roll my eyes out of my head.

were there any directions on the flyer?

hey, eyes on the road!

what? no, no, that wasn't a bear.

[ NAME ], are you serious?

i really effed this car up.

the sooner we get out of here, the better.

just imagine yourself curled up by a big old space heater.

anywhere's better than here.

my god, [ NAME ], hurry up!

i heard something, okay? i wanna check it out.

hey hey hey, what's wrong? is everything alright?

it's the woods, there's a lot of stuff out there, it's easy to freak yourself out.

we're okay. we're safe in the car.

you wanna tell me what happened here?

it was so dark, and it happened so fast.

this is my first cop, like, ever.

what in the hell are you doing all the way out here this late at night?

one of us kind of oversold our navigation skills and got us completely lost.

you're not gonna make it to [ LOCATION ], not tonight.

let's hit the road, shall we?

i have like twenty years before i'm a "ma'am."

[ NAME ], don't be a dick.

what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

bring some tools so we can break the lock!

hey ... it's been kind of a night, you know?

you must be exhausted, i know i am.

there's no need to worry, i'm here to help you.

it's exciting, yes, and ... terrifying.

if you don't help me, how can i help you? we're supposed to be friends.

it's like a romanci-pocalypse.

you never know, the universe has a way of working these things out.

so she dumped your ass, huh?

you've heard of spacial awareness before, right?

spacial awareness is for nerds.

you're a bad person!

okay, really? locking me out?

one, it wasn't my idea — and two, it was really funny.

this place needs a serious overhaul.

you were telling me how you totally have a thing for [ NAME ].

uhhh, "sexy", huh?

"likes it", check, "totally not in denial", check.

the fumes of jealousy are just STIFLING over here.

you should've siezed the moment.

not gonna miss you, [ NAME ].

one more night in the great outdoors might actually kill me.

i haven't killed you, and you're still pretty pathetic.

yes, that would make you a total asshole.

one more night with [ NAME ] wouldn't make a difference, trust me.

you should save it for emergencies only. unless ... is being dumped an emergency?

i don't even know how to respond to that.

let's away from this mosquito-infested backwoods dump.

let's shape our way through this crappy lock.

i won't tell if you won't tell.

have you ever seen a bear in these woods?

oh my god, relax, it's not like we killed someone.

how are you so ... annoying? confident?

in a way, faking it is just being yourself. but louder.

you never know unless you put yourself out there.

e-mail? are you ninety-three?

scenic route? one last victory lap?

i provide very important and educational lifestyle advice.

we should probably ... you know, get back.

does nobody have phone chargers anymore?

oh my god, you are so childish.

it's just this campfire story for kids.

come on, that's like, super unchill.

five minutes? like, five minutes. that's all i need.

i try not to dwell on the past.

i think there's something wrong with the engine.

we'll just spend one more night here.

no, no! just ... stop, let me think!

who cares what [ NAME ] told us to do?

p-a-r-t- why the fuck not?

i go where my people need me.

just say you're in, come on. one last night.

someone's gotta give a shit.

you know what? i don't care what you guys do.

[ NAME ], come on, wait!

i was hoping you'd come back.

where i'm from, we look out for each other.

you'd better be going, it's still early.

for the record, your analogies are very hurtful.

i like a man who's good with his hands.

if i was a beer, where would i hide ...

how am i just noticing how super lame you are?

you think this is supposed to be funny?

moment's gone, but not forgotten.

hold that — the door will latch otherwise.

so, uh ... you're really gonna keep the gun, huh?

your wit knows no bounds.

that's weird, i thought ... i thought i heard someone.

you hear that? is that a trap door?

secret ... sex ... dungeon.

alright, well, it looks like a pit of eternal darkness.

oh my god, [ NAME ], you won't believe this ... it's ... nothing.

it's pretty spooky down here, and it smells very unnatural, so...

ooh, that's a nice chair, i could get used to this.

what if what's on the menu tonight ... is us?

well, we know where the gun is if we need it.

so, got anything going on when you get back home?

these are just— they're probably just ... trail cameras.

why go through all the trouble of hiding this room?

it's not exactly secret, is it? just kinda ... hidden by stuff.

hey, you just admitted it's a secret lair.

are you sure this is safe?

what, are you scared?

sometimes i just try to like ... let it happen, y'know?

this way i can do whatever i want and not feel bad about it.

i guess that is kind of freeing ... in a sociopathic kind of way.

this view is just ... wow.

you DON'T think that's weird?

i just realized we may never see each other again after tonight.

speaking of setting the mood, i have work to do.

playlists aren't gonna make themselves.

big jokes take big sacrifices.

woah, woah, woah, where did that gun come from?

guns are no joke, dipshit.

i guess you don't really want them then, huh?

[ NAME ], hand me that gun. now.

the main party isn't gonna die just cause you have a little side quest.

that's cause you've never shot before.

do not move a muscle, or touch this gun, until i get back.

you'll have it when i say you'll have it.

two things: remember the spread, remember the recoil.

disqualified for being a dumbass.

blam! you thought this was over?

okay! new idea: party game.

let's make some memories.

how about ... the ultimate game of secrets and lies: truth or dare?

[ NAME ] — truth or dare?

have you ever slept with anyone?

dare, gimme what you've got.

your dare comes with a choice.

always happy to please.

you and [ NAME ] go way back, right?

uh ... i don't know if this is a good idea ...

[ NAME ], seriously?

hey, i'm nobody's girlfriend.

[ NAME ], grow up.

i think that game got a little intense for me.

i was just playing along.

did you hear that? ... should we look?

i guess you found me, then.

sneaking down here was more fun when we thought we could get caught, huh?

i thought we agreed that this ... us –? was just supposed to be summer fun.

you really love fucking with me, huh?

lighten up, sourpuss, please.

fine, you can stand here sulking, or you can go grab us some towels.

"summer fun", right? well, apparently summer isn't quite over yet.

you really know how to talk to a girl, don't you?

you can't just pretend like it didn't happen.

that was some mighty fine social disruption, there.

who do you think is gonna make the first move?

if by "beast" you mean some mild-mannered baby deer.

SETTINGS.

[01.] finding privacy in a cramped dressing room.

[02.] cramming into the backseat of a car together.

[03.] slipping into the lonesome alleyway behind the bar for "time alone".

[04.] pulling them away from a party after hours of relentless teasing.

[05.] getting handsy under the table at a fancy dining establishment.

[06.] taking the long way home and pulling over on a dark stretch of road.

[07.] staying behind at the venue after everyone else has left.

[08.] the hotel room door barely clicks shut before hands are on them.

[09.] a tent in the middle of nowhere where no one can hear anything.

NEW TERRITORY.

[10.] finding yourself staring at their mouth and getting caught.

[11.] pulling back from a kiss to look at them, then immediately going back in.

[12.] memorizing the shape of them for the first time with your palms.

[13.] that exploratory first kiss, reserved and shy.

[14.] a gentle first kiss that morphs into intense want.

[15.] feeling the shape of their body through their clothes.

[16.] asking for permission to remove one of their garments.

[17.] finally succumbing to the thick tension & colliding feverishly.

[18.] fumbling with buttons or zippers because your hands won't stop shaking.

[19.] admitting out loud that you've been thinking about this for a while.

HEATING UP.

[20.] pulling them into your lap in the midst of a heated kiss.

[21.] discovering that they're wearing [ GEAR / LINGERIE ] under their clothes.

[22.] kissing away from their lips, down the length of their neck.

[23.] desperately grinding on them through layers of clothing.

[24.] dirty talking directly into their ear to turn them on even further.

[25.] pushing them onto a piece of furniture before straddling them.

[26.] lifting them onto the countertop while making out.

[27.] tugging their hair to expose more of their throat to your mouth.

[28.] the wrecked way they say your name for the first time.

[29.] fabric tearing because neither of you has the patience for buttons.

[30.] removing an obstacle of clothing with your teeth.

UNRAVELING.

[31.] biting down on their shoulder to muffle how good it feels.

[32.] the sound they make when you find the spot that undoes them.

[33.] begging without any trace of pride left and meaning every word.

[34.] their composure cracking for the first time, they finally stop holding back.

[35.] repeating "don't stop" like it's the only language left in their mouth.

[36.] leaving possessive marks in places only they'll see.

[37.] whispering "look at me" right before you take them apart.

[38.] trying to be quiet and failing, so they clamp a hand over your mouth.

[39.] flipping positions so fast neither of you remembers who initiated it.

[40.] their nails dragging down your back hard enough to sting later.

[41.] being told to open your mouth and doing it before the sentence is finished.

[42.] having your hands pinned above your head.

[43.] the desperate scramble to get closer when there is no closer to get.

COMING DOWN.

[44.] fingers lazily tracing the marks they just left on your skin.

[45.] pulling the blanket over both of you without being asked.

[46.] that silent, dazed smile when they catch your eye across the pillow.

[47.] the shaky laugh when neither of you can remember where your shirt is.

[48.] going to get water and bringing a glass back for them without asking.

[49.] lying chest to chest, feeling their heartbeat slow back down against yours.

[50.] the quiet "hey" that means something completely different now.

[51.] "come here" said softly — not urgently. just wanting them close again.

It was four days into the new year, and Emma knew that it was only a matter of time before Ted came barking up her tree. The holiday party had been on Saturday night, and what would normally be Emma exiting stage right soon after had turned into her lazing about most of Sunday with Ted. It was something new, something admittedly still lodged in her head, but come Monday, Emma was back to normal life at the whim of serving mediocre coffee to Hatchetfield. What was glimpses of how good that weekend had been was soon burnt out between the rush of work and being too damn exhausted after to have many other thoughts.

On Wednesday, though, a reminder walked through the door as @timebastard appeared at the counter. He teased the jar with a dollar (how generous) and gave her an offer she couldn't...or could refuse.

"I'm sorry, are you blackmailing me with twenty cents after the cut?" she snorted with raised eyebrows, an amused smirk on her lips. "I would say that's stiff, but that'd be too easy --"

Ted had been trying to catch her in a moment he could talk again, but he'd also been relatively busy after the start of the year. New policies, new tasks, just not enough time to actually come into Beanie's. They'd done group orders for delivery and each time it'd been another girl bringing them over. So today he'd made sure to find time to actually go over, actually see her. He didn't have her number (stupid of him not to get it) and he wasn't about to harass her at her place. Spending the night there and then the next day didn't necessarily mean he was invited over at any point.

He knew he was being a way with his near plea/request, but he really did want another night with her. Another... whatever. The copier room had been so hot and heavy, but the time at her place? The aftermath of more rounds and just spending most of the day in bed together? Ted craved that kind of attention and desire. Craved being enjoyed and he was almost certain she'd enjoyed him. So this... this was a teased blackmailing, if you will, but he hoped he didn't actually have to beg.

At her remark he snorted with a small shake of his head, "Oh we both know it isn't the money." He nodded his head to the Tip for a Song sign, "And we also know... I really don't mind the view when it comes to that dance and song..."