Van Damme Always Comes Back

Reverse paleo diet: only eat things with 10+ ingredients cave men never tasted so you can truly appreciate how far society has come.

My jalapeno Cheetos and sour gummy candy diet is finally getting traction.

cute bonding game: both ppl put their music on shuffle and take turns telling stories/describing memories from their lives related to songs that pop up

Men will be like FUCK YOU for not letting me PLAY the SHIT OUT OF YOU and RUIN YOUR LIFE

2018 is almost over and all I gotta say is what the fuck was that

THE FUCKING PUNCHLINE, I’M ENDED

Sometimes you must give up on a person. Not because you want to, but because you have to.

A quick audio lesson on Southern Linguistics.

Imagine if you were a Christian medieval person from a small village and you had a feud with your neighbour… how annoying would it be to see them in church every Sunday? Not only are you obliged to be in the same space with them every week but you’d have to watch them receive the sacrament and have their sins forgiven even though you know damn well they don’t deserve it… and on top of that you get the priest preaching “love thy neighbour” from the pulpit, I think the fuck not, I’ll not love an unneighbourly misbegotten churl such as he, preach though thou might, father

I think I just got possessed by the ghost of a man who’s still really upset about his neighbour’s pigs eating his cabbages