Tik Tak Clack

someone tells me they're an empath and I grab both sides of their head before frying their brain with my dark empathy electromagnetic waves

my name isn't even david

when your uncle gets the christmas pudding to a sustainable boil and it smells like straight up skeletons

how the fuck is this #solarpunk

the pudding contains a biological element

woahhhh a floor beef clover it must be my yucky day

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

do woman doctor nurses listen to there husbands penises and balls with there thermomter thing

12 notes is viral

*in the bathroom in front of the mirror with the lights off* Sufjan Stevens Sufjan Stevens Sufjan Stevens

hate when im reading and theres a word i dont know so i search it in the dictionary and its like: beuperer. noun. a person who beupers. i'll fucking kill you