Had to save my heart, save it from your evil games

Two years ago, I fucked up... and I can never take it back.

I wish I could take it all back.

I thought that by numbing the broken feelings that I was feeling justified breaking your heart, and that’s wrong. It’s not right, and it will never be right.

Part of me sees it differently now, I guess, and I know how it feels on the other end, and now I feel like a hypocrite for feeling how I feel when I did what I did, and that’s what makes it so much worse.

It’s been a whole year, since Alex drunkenly asked me to be his girlfriend and so much has happened in that year that I never, ever anticipated. Sometimes, I do wonder if it should be as easy as it has been, I mean, we lived together for practically a year and never really argued (about serious things that meant we had a “falling out”). The thing is, I’m starting to get all panicky, because we are doing the whole long-distance thing and being so blissful at this stage before, only for it to all fall down like a house of cards, it’s heartbreaking, but I’m working on it. It’s a day-to-day thing, you know, so long as I keep at it and not overanalysing it all, that feeling should go away.

1. My first language is English.

2. My second language is Cantonese.

Maybe I’m overreacting but I don’t walk up to Indian people and say “Namaste” or greet my boyfriend with “Shalom” and I mean I don’t think other people do either [plus, I’ve had someone come up to me and go “Konnichiwa”], but when I’m at work, on the bus, randomly nipping out for something fizzy, in a nightclub, running an errand, people want to know how I am in Mandarin.

- wash some clothes

- pack stuff to bring to you-nee

- measure my head so i can book cap and gown for graduation

- pay tax of the road

me: I'm waiting for the day when people stop sending me...

my sister: dick pics