This or Nothing

“To use their bidet?”

“Why not?”

Zelda raised an eyebrow, looking the girl up and down. “Do I look like someone who works for free?” She grinned, letting her finger wrap around a strand of Tiana’s hair. “Demonstration is free, the video will cost ya lots.”

“You tryna hit on me?”

“ Pshhhh! Lies! I share with you much more than anyone else, ” he hummed, a Cheshire grin in place. His gaze moved up from his food when he could see her pulling up her shirt in his peripheral, his smirk widening and transforming into something much more like a smile, and he nodded in approval. “ I like it. It’s fitting for ya, ” Trayson winked. One his favorite things about Tiana was that she looked so innocent – oh if only they knew. Never judge a book by its cover. Might be hiding a bear underneath. 

“ I’m due for another, ” he thought out loud. “ Wanna come with? ” The Killjoy always did things on a whim, and if he didn’t, it was safe to say you were in for some trouble. “ You can help me pick, ” he added, sliding the rest of his food (a stew type dish that had been left for the gang in the kitchen) toward Tiana. “ So eat up! ”

“Yeah!” Tiana exclaimed more than excited to accompany her gangmate into any kind of trouble “I got some ideas like a .” Her grin mirrored his until the mention of food and then she was greedily tugging the bowl towards herself. She didn’t care about Tray’s germs using his fork to shovel food into her mouth. 

   “Huh.” Kolton huffed out a laugh.

   “You know a plumber? ‘Cause I sure as hell don’t. Not somebody we could bring out here, anyway.”

“Then I’ll just break into a rich person’s house.”

“It’s a sink that rich people use to wash their butts.”

“Can we get one?”

A loud laugh burst forth when she told him about the woman. How Tiana had gotten fed and thanked her with a swift knock to the noggin. “ Why do you always have fun when I’m not around? ” He mock pouted, but his smile betrayed his affections for the younger Killjoy. She was the closest thing he had to family, and this was one he got to hand pick.

“ And a tattoo? It better not be a tramp stamp or I’m disowning you. That goes for if it’s a butterfly too. ” He pulled his plate back in front of him, scooping a hefty mouthful and waving his hand at Tiana as if to say go on then.

“Cause you keep all the fun for yourself when we’re together.”

“I’ll get a bidet.”

“They do, sweetheart. It’s called masturbating. That’s the literal definition for masturbating. Most people don’t need it spelled out for them in more than one word. And the phrase is ‘beat around the–’. Y’know. Never mind,” she giggled out.

“So do you still want a demonstration?” Zelda asked, stepping a bit towards her smirking. “Sometimes it helps the learning process if you have someone to guide you.”

“You would do that?”

“Sexually pleasuring.. yourself… by touching yourself… sexually.”

“How come everyone just beat the bush?”

Zelda blinked at her again. “It doesn’t involve fish. No matter what you think, I swear to you that it does. Not. Involve. Fish.”

“What does it involve then?”

“Oh, there’s tons.” Zelda nodded slowly. “Would you like me to show you at my place, or yours?”

“There’s no fishing place near my house. You got a lake near yours?”

“Why the toilet paper?”

“Cause then you’d have nothin’ to wipe with. Ever.”

Zelda blinked rapidly at the stupidity coming from the girl in front of her. Her eyes fell on the can of pears, her debate on whether she wanted to walk away and eat her fruit or stay and educate the girl weighing heavy on her mind… She chose the later, tucking the pears into her bag. “It doesn’t have anything to do with fishing. I could show you a demonstration if you’d like.” Her grin was all teeth, a reminder that she was always a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“Okay.”

“Well I know Avalon has this thing about no sex and all, but most people above the age of 16 know that what you’re saying has to do with pleasuring yourself…. Sexually…” Zelda nodded slowly, trying to see if she understood.

“Cut to the chase, lady. What does that have to do with fishing?”

“My chips now, please.”

“Fine.”

Zelda tossed the can between her hands, biting her lip as she looked over the girl in front of her. “How old are you again, sweetheart?” She certainly didn’t look young enough to not know what she was talking about, so maybe she was just dense.

“What does my age have to do with this?”

Zelda looked up from the canned pears label she was reading as she passed the girl on the street. She looked at the sky, asked for strength from whoever might be listening – the rebellion putting a smile on her face – and turned towards the poor, innocent lamb.

“Umm.. I wouldn’t repeat that out loud. It has nothing to do with fishing.”

“How would you know? Are you another master baiter?”