if you amputate the loneliness, anesthesia dims the lights

   “Then what use are you?”

   “Practical.”

   “Y’know what they’re after now?”

   “Convenient.”

   “The bombings. Right.”

   “You said there were others. Who were they?”

   “I don’t know.”

   “You were intelligence?”

     For an hour or two, Garrett had been out back, working up the will to do what he had to do — because with Rowan gone helping Carina at the encampment, he wasn’t sure he had it in him to be civil.

     The door closed behind him with a click. He stopped in the doorway, eyes landing on Kolton, sat at the kitchen table watching him back with a blank expression.

   “Think it’s about time you and I had a chat. And I’m not interested in some bullshit, so keep it straight, or I’m gonna have to do something that Ro won’t like — and I’d rather not.”

     “Okay. Good. I’m gonna come back for mine once I’m a little toastier.” Rowan picked up plate as she stood, bringing it back to the counter for when she was ready to finish it, then began searching through drawers again for a deck of cards. She didn’t find them in the kitchen, heading into the living room to see they’d already been on a small table next to a chair in the living room. 

     “Alright. Time for me to kick your ass in… go fish?”

     A short walk to the living room, and Kolton placed his things on the coffee table, plucked the joint free, and dropped into the couch, lying limp for a moment before straightening.

     “Whoops. I’m hogging it.” Rowan smiled, taking one more hit before handing it back. “C’mon. Let’s go sit in the living room. I’ll clean this up and grab some cards. We can smoke the rest of this bag and forget how to play every game anyway.”

     “I know.”

     “Still! I’m glad. Any other requests?”

   “Nope.”

     “You should!”

     “It was your words.” Her smile softened, “Are you feeling any better?”

   “I wasn’t feeling bad.”

     “I dunno. That made me really happy.” She sat back down and bounced her shoulders before finally taking the joint to hit it. 

     Rowan stood up suddenly, bending to wrap her arms around Kolton in a hug.

   “Oh—” Rowan’s arms enveloped him, and he could smell her hair, his hands lifting to squeeze her back before she pulled away.

     “You really think so?”

     “I wasn’t.”

     “Before…”

     “They aren’t always all bad, though.”

     “Well, that’s assuming I am any good at judging people which… well, I didn’t used to be. I guess I’m more jaded now.” Rowan reached out, a silent request for the joint.

      “Right. Well, I believe you.”

      “Definitely more than some rando in a bar.”