wanna buy a 'dog?

No one has successfully murdered me.

I would really like to meet the idiot who cant tell the difference between Delivery and DiGiorno.

I feel like if Quentin Tarantino didn’t start making movies, he would have become a serial killer.

I wonder how many lists of potentially habitable exoplanets the Earth has been on?

Scooby Doo taught us all one thing. That the real monsters are humans.

Trojan is a terrible name for condoms

I wonder how powerfully overwhelming and at the same time gravely disappointing was the moment when a human saw the ocean and drank from it for the first time.

When we’ll colonize mars and get internet there we’ll have to change the www at the start of every domain name

You know that feeling when you’re really hungry but nothing sounds good? That’s what depression feels like.

I used to think I was a mature, insightful kid. Now, I realize I would have punched younger me right square in the face.

Maybe if we announce that Buzzfeed’s shutting down, Buzzfeed will announce that it’s shutting down.

Sadly, in the universe of the commercial where the guy says, “I’m never getting married”, “We’re never having kids”, “We’re never moving out of the city” etc, and finally “I’m never letting go”, he probably gets a divorce because each time he says he’s not doing something that exact thing happens.

boobytrap spelled backwards is partyboob.