I am participating in the Writing Contest:Â You Deserve to be Inspired. Hosted by Positive Writer.
A fight is a high risk event. I never guessed the intense fight I would face for my wife. There are four things I’ve learned from my fight that can be used to help you fight for what you love.
My wife and I started dating unsuspectingly. Despite what many may think I wasn’t looking for her and she wasn’t looking for me. I had ended a serious relationship and was trying my best to recover. I was invested in my ex-girlfriend: six years on and off, engagement ring purchased, and hopes of marriage. Well, life takes turns you don’t expect or completely understand until you see them in hindsight. The break up was difficult. Thankfully, I had family, friends, and God to help me work through it. After ending a six year relationship, I needed to take a break.
I could have been more effective at taking a break. I spent too much time with women that led to immature decisions and hurt feelings. Out of that though, I ended up connecting, and actually helping, my future wife who was going through her own wave of heartache and recovery. We spent a lot of time talking and developing a great friendship. It was after that friendship developed that we even considered the idea of a romance.
Since we were both coming out of relationships, we took cautionary steps before proceeding. We spent time fasting, praying, and seeking God for His support in pursuing this relationship. I asked my friends and some of her friends’ for approval before moving forward. We also talked to necessary exes about us getting together. It was a nerve racking experience, but we wanted the best foundation for starting our relationship. Once we got the green light, we disembarked on a journey that was more of a perfect storm than a cruise.
I first learned from my fight of love the importance of resolve. Dictionary.com defines Resolve as, “to come to a definite or earnest decision.” Drama from the past, issues with family, and money were some of the many obstacles preventing me from marrying my wife. But, before we officially decided to start courting I had to solidify my resolve to pursue this amazing woman. My earnest decision was supported by passion, wise counsel, and hopeful opportunities. I got good advice and direction from those closest to me, as well as, a clear vision of the reward for pursuing this decision. I wasn’t moving forward blindly. I had the support I needed to know that this was something worthwhile to pursue without quitting.
2. Light Breaks Through Shady Moments
Having the resolve to marry this woman was crucial, because there were moments of uncertainty, confusion, and doubt we needed to endure. We experienced many surprising situations during our courtship: job issues, car troubles, but the biggest was the surprising behavior of those close to us. As you fight for what you love there will be people who disagree with you. There will be individuals that are envious and want to keep you from progressing in your journey. There will be people who slander you, whether it’s your character, ideas, or the dream itself to keep you from winning. Then, there are people who just want to see you fail; with seemingly unreasonable behavior everything they do is an attack against you. When surrounded by shady folks and confusion, it’s then that truth will shine through. You will have people and opened doors that will be the light you need in your darkest hours. I held onto my closest friends, my resolve, and my faith in God to endure and win my wife.
3. Resistance Training Strengthens More Than Your Muscles
Those who fight professionally train intensely to prepare for their next bout. Their diet changes, their sleep pattern changes, and they exercise a lot! Part of that training is weightlifting, or resistance training. Resistance training will develop more than your muscles. As opposition comes the only way for you to succeed is to resist. You’ll have to push, pull, and move around obstacles to get to where you’re going.
Resistance looks like battling doubt that creeps in from the negativity of those close to you. It looks like trying to keep your resolve when it seems too hard. As you fight for what you love you will grow stronger. The more resistance you overcome the stronger your spirit and soul will become. My wife and I are six months into our marriage, and due to the resistance training we received from our courtship I’m confident that we can handle any circumstance that comes our way.
4. Delight In The Win After the Fight
There were times during our courtship I felt like I was going the wrong way. When you feel like quitting and giving up, that doesn’t mean you should. Our feelings change, sometimes rather drastically, but that’s not what we hold onto to win. We hold onto the resolve we made to keep going despite the opposition. We press forward knowing that there is light when it becomes dark and unclear. We fight knowing that we’re getting stronger by resisting and overcoming the obstacles that present themselves. More importantly, we hold onto the expectation of delighting in the sweet reward after enduring the fight.
I’m so grateful to be married to my best friend; I’m more grateful to know she was worth the struggle and hard work. As we pursue what we love there will be obstacles to stop us from going forward. Fighting for what you love is well worth getting cuts, bruises, and battle scars. Those scars will be reminders of the value of your prize.
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