A Muchness in Time

“When her father was governor of New York, he and his wife proposed that Alice attend a conservative school for girls in New York City. Pulling out all the stops, Alice wrote, ‘If you send me I will humiliate you. I will do something that will shame you. I tell you I will.’”

“Her father took office in 1901 following the assassination of President William McKinley, Jr. in Buffalo (an event that she greeted with “sheer rapture.”)“

“During the cruise to Japan, Alice jumped into the ship’s pool fully clothed, and coaxed a congressman to join her in the water. (Years later Bobby Kennedy would chide her about the incident, saying it was outrageous for the time, to which the by-then-octogenarian Alice replied that it would only have been outrageous had she removed her clothes.”

“She was dressed in a blue wedding dress and dramatically cut the wedding cake with a sword (borrowed from a military aide attending the reception)”

“When it came time for the Roosevelt family to move out of the White House, Alice buried a Voodoo doll of the new First Lady, Nellie Taft, in the front yard.”

“Later, the Taft White House banned her from her former residence—the first but not the last administration to do so. During Woodrow Wilson’s administration (from which she was banned in 1916 for a bawdy joke at Wilson’s expense)…”

“As an example of her attitudes on race, in 1965 her African-American chauffeur and one of her best friends, Turner, was driving Alice to an appointment. During the trip, he pulled out in front of a taxi, and the driver got out and demanded to know of him, “What do you think you’re doing, you black bastard?” Turner took the insult calmly, but Alice did not and told the taxi driver, “He’s taking me to my destination, you white son of a bitch!”

This is Alice as an older lady. The pillow says “If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.” 

Everyone: 

Pixar:

So now Sandler has $80 million to make a film with, and a bunch of friends who need paychecks to live on, right? So he just pays them for whatever half-assed performance they give (Kevin James, David Spade, Rob Schneider, etc) and they make a fucking movie. and its awful, but get this right

Product placement. In Gilmore, Happy gets sponsored by Subway to play golf, and in Jack & Jill, the plot of the movie basically revolves around advertising, specifically for Dunkin Donuts. You’ve got Gatorade in Waterboy, McDonalds and Hooters in Big Daddy, Popeyes Chicken in Little Nicky, Wendys in Mr Deeds, Bed Bath & Beyond in Click, MySpace in Funny People, KFC in Grown Ups (Kevin James is a fat man), and a bottle or can of Budweiser is in nearly every scene of That’s My Boy,

I’m fucking pissing myself. You know how all of Jupiter’s moons are named after his lovers and affairs? Yeah. NASA is sending a craft to check up on Jupiter. You know what the craft is called?

JUNO.

Who’s Juno?

JUPITER’S WIFE.

NASA IS SENDING JUPITER’S WIFE TO CHECK ON JUPITER AND HIS AFFAIRS AND LOVERS.

an important lesson about making mistakes: