Itās midnight as I write this, and I must admit, I begrudgingly stirred myself out of bed for this. Iāve been getting into meditation, with the aim to seek God out like one seekās out a best friend, and if you are anything like me, you love late night phone calls with friends. Today, and the days before, have been difficult for me, I broke up with a boyfriend, lost a friend in the process, I am battling unemployment and I canāt do anything about it! You guys I just want to let out a loud āURGGGGGGH!ā But even this is impossible, it feels like my hands have been tied, my mouth gagged, and my feet placed in cement. I am totally helpless in my circumstance, forced to do nothing more than sit back and watch God. For an extrovert and type A personality, this is my greatest challenge.Ā As I lay here, the Lord impressed upon my heart to seek him in moments of solitude. He also impressed upon my heart to share what I found.
āAs I lay here, the Lord impressed upon my heart to seek him in moments of solitude.ā
Usually, when Iām bored or feeling anxious and lonely, I call a friend and we talk for hours. Since middle school, and talking on the phone became cool, this was my go to, but itās not how God wants me, and many like me, to choose to live our lives. The Lord greatly desires a relationship that is intimate and meaningful with us. He is a chatterbox, did you know that? Heās also pretty funny...he is the perfect one to share a late night rant, tear, or laugh with. The truth is, God wants to be our best friend, he wants to have a relationship with you and me. So why donāt we give it to him? Ā
āThe Lord greatly desires a relationship that is intimate and meaningful with us.ā
When I think about whether I have given God this opportunity, I start to think about my social habits--which aside from staying on the phone long beyond any reasonable hour to be on the phone with anyone--I think about my habit to open up Facebook. My newsfeed can be soo dry, no new notifications, and a nagging reminder that Amber is married, with a 401(K) plan, health benefits and on her third child... and youāre just over here looking at Pinterest. Ā Itās so sad yāall hahaha! But itās one of the reasons why I lowkey hate social media, and yet, when Iām bored, I find myself idling around on sites that do nothing for my self-esteem and surely do nothing for my productivity.Ā
āAmber is married, with a 401(K)Ā plan, health benefits and on her third child...and youāre just over here looking at Pinterest.ā
So today, I boldly declared to God, āEnough!ā I even told God--which the Lord has to laugh at now-- āIām good with the challenge!ā But yāall I WAS NOT GOOD FOR IT hahaha! I broke my fast a few times, obsessively checking Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram. I had began my day in prayer, I went for a walk and meditated in God. I talked to him as plainly and intimately as I am with you now and yet the silence that came from being completely disconnected from this world was deafening and I couldnāt handle it.Ā
ā...the silence that came from being completely disconnected from this world was deafening and I couldnāt handle it.ā
It took me up until two hours ago to muster up the emotional strength to seek God out in my loneliness, when in truth all I wanted to do was crawl under my covers, go through every number in my phone and call a friend---maybe not so literal--but you get my point. The silence made me feel trapped and isolated and to alleviate it, I just wanted to talk to a someone, be active, moving, doing anything but sitting still. My isolation brought upon strong feelings of loneliness, isolation, rejection and dejection. But God never wants us to feel this way, and why should we? When we have the best source of companionship, love and guidance all wrapped up in Him?Ā
āMy isolation brought upon strong feelings of loneliness, isolation, rejection and dejection.ā
In the midst of these emotions, I prayed my heart out to God. And not the type of formal prayers, that go a little likeĀ āDear Jesus, please give me...ā not that these prayers are wrong, but the Lord wants us to seek him out like we do a friend, and with a friend we are honest, we let them hear our cries, we show them our ugly sob faces, we get like little giddy schoolgirls when we finally share stories about our crushes. God wants intimate relationships like this with us. My prayer tonight was so much more than a prayer, it was a conversation, and it felt GOOD you guys.Ā
āMy prayer tonight was so much more than a prayer, it was a conversation...ā
The Bible assures us that we will always have this feeling when we realize God is the greatest, late nightĀ ābest friend,ā because he hears our call before we make it, and he hears us speak before weāve spoken (Isaiah 65:24)!Ā The Bible also tells us that the Lord is happy in our happiness, and his love calms us in our sadness (Zephaniah 3:17).Ā So tell me again, why we arenāt trading in best friends for God?
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
andulkaphoto
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
turnnoffyourmind
tangentwithtanner
