thick thighs are all fun and games until you wear shorts and have to keep pulling them down cause your thighs are trying to fucking EAT THEM
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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almost home
Cosmic Funnies
Acquired Stardust
$LAYYYTER
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shark vs the universe


@theartofmadeline
styofa doing anything
Xuebing Du
trying on a metaphor

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@threeplants
thick thighs are all fun and games until you wear shorts and have to keep pulling them down cause your thighs are trying to fucking EAT THEM

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Cricket Cat concept. Do you see it? Do you see my vision? I don't think they'd purr or meow, just chirp with their wings.

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TUESDAY AGAIN NO PROBLEM
Kim Ye-Ji 🇰🇷 vs Yusuf Dikeç 🇹🇷
Model of a pigeon with mother-of-pearl inlaid feathers (Japan, Meiji period, 1880)
Saturn Devouring His Son, Me, BALLOONS, 2021
@goodokolachampagne
okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"
i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.
then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.
then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.
later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.

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doctors: we are so smart. and so powerful. also all-knowing btw.
doctors when dealing with a health condition found primarily in women: ummmm. idk. that’s scary. also you’re making it up.
I dunno, Suspiciously Beautiful Horse In The Mist That's Definitely Going To Drown And Eat Me, if this heatwave continues I just might take you up on it.
art by The Baby Goat

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She'll fuck me if I cook good enough I know it
#billions of humans have thought this same thing over the course of the species’ history #and they were right
Me and who fr
Gravity Falls lore is actually so crazy because we can assume that around when Stan was trying to chew his way out of the trunk of a car, Ford was in the midst of the most gut-wrenching, one-sided, cringe-fail situationship known to man.