Thread and Lace

Seamstress for the Band series (complete): ❃ part 1, ❃ part 2, ❃ part 3, ✵ part 4, ❃ part 5, ✵ part 6, ✵ part 7, ❃ part 8, ✵ part 9, ❃ part 10, ❃ part 11, ❃ part 12, ✵ part 13, ✵ part 14, ☆ part 15

☆ Vocal rest 1.8k, Josh is displeased about being on vocal rest

☆ night of revelry 3.9k, you bring Jake home after a night of drinking

☆ Helping hand 2.9k, Danny is pissed post-concert

Reposts and new stories coming soon!

Reposts and new stories coming soon!

Gentle reminder that everything written is completely and utterly FICTION with characters based very loosely off of real people. I do not know gvf, nor am I associated with them in real life.

“Fun night?” you asked, to which you received a chorus of enthusiastic agreement. Jake reached out and pulled you onto his lap, leaning both of you back before giving you a deep kiss. “You smell like a brewery,” you replied with a laugh as you sat up and straightened his button-up, which was down to a single button. His chest was warm against your palm, his necklace providing cool contrast as it swept across your hand with his movement.

“I’m not even that drunk,” he whispered in your ear before leaning forward to meet your eyes. You watched as he worked to focus on you and realized he was most definitely drunk. His hands ran up and down your bare legs, squeezing lightly. “You’re definitely drunk,” you replied as you placed your hands over his, hoping to still his movements as his hands traveled higher and higher.

“Alright, let me get the tab and we can head out,” Danny said as he stood from the table and made his way to the bar. “Want me to venmo him for your share?” you asked Jake as you reached for his phone on the table. “Mmmm yeah, sure,” Jake said as he let his head rest against your shoulder.

You raised his phone to your face and realized he had changed his lockscreen. “Now,” you chuckled as you turned the phone to show him, “whose genius drunken idea was this?” He turned to look at the phone, which now displayed a blown up picture of your face. “Mine, of course,” he answered as if the answer was clear. You shook your head and opened his phone to navigate to the app before inputting Jake’s (likely rough) estimate of what he’d owe Danny for drinks.

You sat back against his chest as you waited for Danny. Sam and Josh were arguing over something likely insignificant and you watched them bicker as you relaxed into Jake. “You know you could’ve picked a better picture for your lock screen,” you said and he shook his head. His hands had returned to your thighs, running up and down them slowly as he hummed in your ear. “Mmmmmmm, nuh uhhhh,” he disagreed as he pressed a kiss into your neck.

Danny returned and held his hand out to help you up from Jake’s lap. You went to stand but Jake’s arms wrapped around your waist and kept you firmly in place. Danny rolled his eyes and turned to collect Sam and Josh from the booth instead.

“Come on Jake, it’s time to go home,” you said as you brushed the hair back from his face. “I can’t get up,” he replied in a flat tone. “Of course you can, come on, let’s go home,” you said as you went to stand, but he kept his grip on you. You turned to face him more clearly and noticed something was off. “What’s wrong?” you asked and he motioned for you to come closer to him.

You leaned in, the smell of alcohol mixing with his cologne. The smell was intoxicating and you felt yourself start to moan slightly before remembering where you were. You tapped Jake, letting him know you were ready for him to tell you whatever he needed to tell you.

“I’m so incredibly hard right now. I don’t think I can stand up in front of all these people,” he said quietly, his voice raspy. You couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “From what?” you whispered back, turning to search his face as you waited from an answer. “You,” was his only answer.

“Just walk close behind me. It’s dark enough that people won’t be able to tell. And your brothers don’t give a fuck,” you said before gently removing his arms from your sides. Something about him being hard from just your presence had you reeling- you had only been sitting on his lap for a minute at most. You had a feeling you were both in for a very long night.

You started to stand and Jake stood up right behind you, his hips bumping into yours as he got his balance. His arms wrapped around your body, pulling you into him. “Away we go?” Sam asked, his voice booming as he raised his arm. You chuckled and pulled Jake behind you as you led the group out of the bar.

The walk to your car was short, and the group’s drunk shenanigans made it enjoyable. Sam and Josh were still bickering intermittently about whatever they had gotten started on in the bar and Danny was telling you about a bachelorette party’s shenanigans. Jake kept his arm around your waist as you walked, pulling you closer to him as you listened to Danny.

“I don’t know how they didn’t bust their asses when they somehow got ONTO the bar. They had these tall heels on and-” Danny said before Josh butted in. “Stripper heels! And that one girl did fall! You guys had volunteered me to get the next round and the one with the penis hat fell on me,” Josh shot back, gesturing wildly as he talked.

“You should’ve brought my car,” Jake slurred in your ear as he opened the driver’s side door for you. You couldn’t help but agree as you watched the other three men pile into the backseat of your small sedan. “Next time I may,” you said with a chuckle as he closed your door. Jake made a show of pretending to slide across your hood and Josh leaned forward to honk at him, causing him to jump and end up on the ground.

When Jake got in, he was laughing, which was a good sign. He was almost always good-natured, but sometimes his brothers were able to get under his skin, especially when they embarrassed him. “Alright, buckle up,” you instructed before turning to help Josh, the unlucky winner of the middle seat, find his seatbelt.

You were leaning over the center console and helping find the buckle when you felt Jake’s hand slide up the back of your leg and land on your ass. He held it there for a second, as if he was thinking through his actions, before he slapped you. Hard. Luckily the sound was muffled by the squabbling of the oldest and youngest Kiszka siblings as they attempted to find the buckle hidden in between the seats.

You glanced at Danny who was watching the bustle of activity in the backseat, coaching Sam on where to look for the buckle. Luckily he was oblivious when he was drunk, although he was still in caretaker mode as he gestured for you to sit back and slapped Sam’s hand away from the seats.

Danny was able to find the missing buckle within seconds. It had been wedged under Josh’s butt, nearly in plain sight. “Damn, you guys really are wasted,” you said with a laugh as you turned to put the car in drive and head out of the parking lot.

You were able to drop Sam and Danny off relatively quickly before heading out towards Josh’s house. Jake had been quiet so far, clearly lost in his own mind. Josh had started to fall asleep in the backseat, his sounding board of a little brother no longer by his side to keep him riled up. Every so often, he’d sit straight up and make a comment or ask a question which you would entertain. Jake, however, stayed quiet.

You were humming along to a song that was playing when you felt Jake’s hand on your leg. At first, his hand just rested on your leg- a warm but undemanding presence near your knee. As you pulled into Josh’s driveway, Jake’s hand had started to apply more pressure to your leg, gripping it lightly.

“Goodnight Josh! You promise you’re good?” you asked as you peered into the backseat through the rearview mirror. Josh waved you off as he slid over the seat and popped open the door. “I’m good, going to hopefully make it to the couch before I crash,” he said with a chuckle. His hand snaked through the spot next to your headrest and he gave your shoulder a squeeze. “Thanks for getting us all home. Please make sure Casanova takes an aspirin when you guys get home. We are getting old,” Josh said with a snicker. Not even that got more than a wave from Jake as he bid his twin goodnight.

You ensured Josh made it inside before backing down the driveway. “Thank god we got rid of those idiots,” Jake whispered as his hand slowly made its way up to your inner thigh. “Those idiots are your brothers,” you replied with a chuckle, “and you love them.” Jake sighed deeply before squeezing the plump flesh of your thigh in his hand. “I do love them. But I also love you. And I’ve been craving you all night,” he said quietly. His voice had the rasp to it that you loved, something you only got first thing in the morning, when Jake was utterly exhausted or he was drunk.

“Is that right?” you asked as you turned onto the main road back towards the city. He let out a low grumble of an agreement as he turned to angle his body towards you. He used his left hand to play with the hem of your shirt while his right hand stayed firmly planted on your leg. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you tonight,” he whispered as he leaned closer to you, planting a soft, but eager kiss on your jaw.

“Hmmm,” you hummed, deciding to entertain him a little and play his game. “You were thinking about me while you were at a bar? With your brothers? Celebrating another song written?” you questioned. You say him nod out of the corner of your eye and you chuckled. “Seems like you should’ve been a little preoccupied,” you added.

Jake’s hand slid even higher up your leg in answer. His thumb was dangerously close to brushing against your clit, the only thing separating you and him were a few centimeters and the thin material of your shorts. You sucked in a quick breath as you returned your focus to the road. Jake released the hem of your shirt and used his hand to brush your hair away from your neck, his white hot fingertips barely grazing your skin. He leaned in to press kisses along your neck, moving slowly as he ran his hand up and down your leg.

“Jake,” you started. You wanted his name to come out as a command, urging him to stop. Instead, it came out as more of a whimper, a request for more. His hand was getting too high again and you released one hand from the wheel and placed it over his. You turned to give him a sharp glance before returning your eyes to the road. “Unless you want to end up in a ditch, you better stop,” you said, this time your voice conveying the correct emotions.

Jake huffed in response before leaning in closer to you, his breath tickling your neck. “If you really want me to stop,” he whispered as his hand slid to finally apply pressure between your legs, “tell me to stop.”

You swallowed hard as you thought about your response. If you were being rational, you would’ve slapped his hand away from you- he was clearly drunk and you were driving. But the way he was rocking his hand back and forth against you had you struggling to make logical thoughts.

“Jake,” you rasped as you tried to maintain focus on the road, “we are less than five minutes from your house. Please do not make me wreck this car.” You were pleading with him. He knew you really didn’t want him to stop. But, he was smart enough to know that if he didn’t stop, you both wouldn’t make it home.

He complied, moving his hand back down to your thigh. A whimper came from deep in your chest, a response to the loss of contact. Jake chuckled in response as he squeezed your thigh. “Get us home, sweet girl. I’ll reward you when we make it,” he said quietly. His tone told you he intended to make true on his promise.

The second you put the car in park, Jake was climbing out of his seat, tossing the seatbelt over his shoulder sloppily. You couldn’t help but laugh- despite his coherent decision making, he was still incredibly inebriated.

You met Jake at the front door where he was struggling to put his key into the lock. You took it from him and let yourselves in. Jake instantly kicked off his boots and threw his wallet onto the side table by the door. You were barely able to lock the door back before he was on you again, pressing you up against the door with his body.

“Jake, you are drunk,” you said matter-of-factly. He looked down to focus on your eyes before nodding. “So,” you started as you gently pushed him back and turned to set your purse down, “that means it’s time to go to bed.”

Jake pressed his face into the curve of your neck and groaned in response, his hands making their way up and down your back slowly. “Please,” he whimpered, his voice pleading, “let me get you off.” You took his face in your hands and gently kissed him before answering. “As much as I would love that, you weren’t even able to get the key into the lock, babe. How do you think sex is going to go, hmmm?”

He rolled his eyes in response, something you were barely able to make out from the limited light in the entryway. His hand slowly moved from your back to ghost over your stomach and finally rest between your legs. He had moved slowly, waiting for any further protest, which you did not give. You sucked in a breath as he applied more pressure and moved forward to press his body into yours.

“I need you so bad,” he said quietly, the longing dripping from his voice. “So bad?” you asked breathlessly as his hand moved up towards your waist, his thumb running along the inside of your waistband of your shorts. “So bad, baby. You were all I could think of in that bar. Every single drink just made me want you more,” he rasped. “Please just let me make you cum for me. I promise that’s all I want,” he pleaded.

You couldn’t deny him any more- you wanted him, too. You pressed your lips against his in response, giving him permission to continue. He smiled against your kiss before dipping his fingers into the inside of your waistband, trailing them against the soft skin of your stomach. You let out a moan against his mouth which caused him to slide his hand down between the fabric and your skin.

“Mmmm,” his chest rattled against yours with the sound. “Already so fucking wet,” he whispered as he slowly slid a finger inside of you, testing his limits. You jolted forward and let your body press into his. He responded by pushing you back harder, his free hand moving to grip your hair and pull your head back against the solid wood of the front door.

“You gonna cum for me tonight?” he asked, his words slightly slurred from the alcohol and excitement. “Yes,” you answered breathlessly before taking in a sharp breath as he slid another finger inside of you.

Jake released your hair and sloppily pushed your shorts down your legs. He used his foot to push the fabric the rest of the way down your legs to your ankles, his body rocking violently as he struggled to keep his balance. He giggled slightly as he pressed himself into you to right himself, his fingers never ceasing as they continued to curl themselves inside of you rhythmically.

You gripped at his shirt, pulling him against you as you got closer. “Fuck, Jake, I’m almost there,” you rasped, your hands struggling to find a grip against the smooth fabric. “Good girl, give it to me. Cum so hard baby, let me feel you clench around me,” he encouraged, his lips tracing down your jaw as he continued to work on you.

You came hard, your legs starting to shake as you braced yourself against the door. “Fuck Jake,” you whimpered as you caught your breath. He pulled back from you and gave you a sly grin. He slowly removed his fingers from you, giggling at the gasp you let out. He gave you a wink before sliding his fingers into his mouth, sucking on them for a moment with hollowed out cheeks before removing them with a satisfying pop.

You watched him wide-eyed, still braced against the door. “You’re something else,” you mused and he nodded before kicking off his shoes, nearly losing his balance in the process. You reached out to steady him and he chuckled again.

The bulge in his pants was hard to miss. You were sure he was painfully hard- he always got worked up when he made you cum. Something about the satisfaction of getting you off was the biggest turn on for him. “Jake?” you asked. He looked up at you from his position below you as he tried to untie your shoes for you. “Do you want to fuck me?” you asked.

A smile spread across his face. “Fuck yes I do,” he answered before moving to press himself against you again. You kicked your shoes off, as well as the shorts and underwear that were bunched around your ankles.

Jake was grinding up against you as he moaned from the sweet relief the friction provided. “Get these off,” you instructed as you pushed at his pants. He complied and ripped his jeans and underwear off as he braced himself against you to keep from falling.

“You can barely stand, I don’t know how you’re going to be able to-” you started before being roughly turned to face the door, Jake’s hands digging into your hips as he pressed you against the cool wood. You didn’t have time to finish your thought before he was running himself through your wetness, his other hand planted firmly on your ass as he spread you open.

“Don’t ask questions,” he growled in your ear as he sunk into you, “you already know the answers to.” Jake gripped your hair and pulled your head back against his shoulder as he thrust into you, his movements sloppier than usual, but still backed with plenty of power.

“Fuck Jake, harder,” you begged and he delivered, pounding into you as he pressed you against the door. His hands made their way to your neck, one hand squeezing gently around your throat as the other lowered to pull your shirt down, allowing your breasts to spill out over the top. “Fucking perfect,” he hissed through clenched teeth as he buried himself inside of you over and over, his skin slapping against yours and making obsecenelt pornographic noises that rang out through the empty house.

One second you were moaning as your body was pushed roughly against the solid wood of the door, the next you were sprawled out on the floor with Jake’s hands still gripping at your shirt. “Fucking hell,” he chuckled, his alter ego flooding in and giving his tone a british twang. He laid out next to you, completely disheveled and in a partial state of undress. “While we are here,” Jake said, the British accent thick as he struggled to sit up and tug at your shirt, “get this shit off, hmm?”

If you didn’t love him so much, you’d be pissed he’d taken you both to the floor in an incredibly painful and ungraceful manner and then had the nerve to request you take your shirt off, but the way his cock was still soaking from the short time inside of you had your brain and body begging for more. “I’ll take it off,” you started as you played with the hem, “only if you let me ride you.”

He scoffed at you, the act suddenly gone as his drunk brain swirled, trying to keep up. “I don’t see how that’s a losing situation for me,” he slurred as he reached out to run a coarse hand over your now naked chest. You threw your shirt to the side and allowed him to roughly pull you onto his lap.

Jake leaned forward to whisper into your ear. “Use me. Use me to make yourself cum. Please baby, I’m all yours,” he begged. You sat up slightly and aligned him before sliding down onto him. Jake groaned at the feeling, grabbing you and pulling you against him. You started to work yourself up and down, moving slowly on weak legs before switching to grinding. Jake’s hands dug into your hips, helping guide you as he moved his mouth up and down along your neck, leaving sloppy kisses in his wake.

He felt so good, but you needed more. Jake could sense that and pulled back from your neck long enough to make eye contact with you. “You’re never gonna cum like this,” he rasped, his hands slowing your movement. “Sure I can,” you panted back as you slowed, his hands working against you. Jake narrowed his eyes- he may have been drunk but he could still read your body. “No, no,” he said, wagging a finger in your face, “this isn’t working tonight. What do you need?”

You wiggled your hips slightly, eliciting a moan from Jake, who momentarily forgot his focus before tightening his grip on your hips. You could see his wheels turning as he thought through the options for how to proceed.

“I think you need to fuck me. Hard,” he said finally, turning to look at you. You could see in his eyes he needed it as much as you probably did. You nodded before picking yourself up and slamming back down onto him. His head lolled back and an animalistic groan came from deep in his chest as he reached forward to help bounce you on top of him. You did as he requested, using him to fuck yourself hard and fast. And, just like he’d predicted, it was exactly what you needed to cum a second time, his calloused fingers pressed against your clit making sloppy circles as you screamed his name.

☆☆☆ Minors DNI ☆☆☆

Masterlist- to start at the beginning

The ride back to the hotel was agonizing. You and Josh had taken a seat in the back of the bus and Ava had kept the third seat in your row empty by asking Danny to sit with her.

Ava and Danny chatted without a care as Josh got to work on getting you ready for what he had in store. He didn’t dare slip his hand under the waistband of your shorts- not with a whole van full of your friends and coworkers, but he did let his hands get dangerously close to the button as he ran his hands up and down your inner thighs. He’d lean over intermittently when Danny and Ava had turned to face the front, and nip at your neck or leave wet, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your neck and collarbone. 

You had responded by rubbing your hand along his thigh, but he had quickly stopped you by leaning in to whisper in your ear. “Do not get me hard right now or you’ll regret it,” he whispered and you stopped, instantly frozen. You quickly removed your hand and took a deep breath as you tried to focus on the conversation Ava and Danny were having, Sam inputting his opinions every so often from the front seat. 

As everyone started climbing out of the van, you leaned in to whisper in Josh’s ear, his curls tickling your nose as you moved closer. “Meet me in my room after everyone settles in?” you asked. He squeezed your leg in confirmation before moving towards the door of the bus, turning to offer you a hand as you followed. 

Nobody seemed to notice anything as you loaded into the elevators, Josh keeping a point of contact with you the entire time. Whether it be his pinky trailing against your arm, his shoulder pressed against you, or his leg casually crossed over yours as you leaned back against the side of the elevator, the heat of his touch never left you. That was until he gave your hand a squeeze before walking past you after the group had arrived at your door. You watched him saunter down the hall with the rest of the guys, only turning back to give you a smirk and a wink.

The second you closed the door to your room, you were in a panic. You didn’t want to admit it, but it had been a while since you’d been with someone else and the anxiety you felt bubbling in your chest threatened to ruin what you knew would likely be an amazing night. You didn’t have much time to get caught up in your mind though, because a soft knock on your door slowed the whirlwind of negative thoughts rolling through your brain. And when you opened it up and saw Josh standing there, the thoughts stopped completely, your mind finally quiet.

Josh gave you a smile as he walked in, his nervous energy palpable. You both stood for a moment in the dim light of your room, waiting for the other to make the first move. Josh moved first and closed the space between you, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you into him. “You want this?” he asked quietly, his eyes searching yours. You nodded and he cocked his head. “Words, please,” he chastised lightly and you chuckled before responding. “Yes, Josh. I want this.” He nodded and led you further into your room, his warm hand providing you with a source of grounding.

Josh kissed you again, this time more frantic as his hands started to wander your body. His hands moved slowly though, taking note of every inch of your body as he kissed you with fervor. He tasted sweet, likely the remnants of the glass of wine Jake had ordered for him at dinner which Josh had drank painfully slow as he kept his part of the promise to remain sober (or nearly sober) for tonight. 

His hands found the hem of your shirt and he slid his hand up to gently run his fingertips along your lower stomach. You inhaled a sharp breath before quickly moving to pull your shirt over your head, wanting to get rid of the clothing separating the two of you. Josh mirrored your movements, taking off his own shirt and pressing his chest against yours. You ran your hand down his chest and let your head fall back as he pressed soft kisses down your neck and along your collarbone. 

He carefully slipped two fingers under the strap of your bra, gently removing the strap from your shoulder. He repeated the motion on the other side before reaching back to undo the clasp. His hands moved with dexterity, yet it still took him a moment to undo the latch. As he worked, you kissed along his jaw. You could feel the slight scratch of his facial hair as you moved back to his lips, which were now swollen and pink from your kisses.

Your bra dropped to the floor and Josh took in a sharp breath as his eyes moved to your chest. He stood in awe for a moment before moving to take a breast in each hand. His thumbs moved over your nipples, eliciting a shaky breath from you. He looked up at you and smiled before removing his hands and taking yours. He pulled you behind him further into your room before spinning to face you, one hand moving to grip your hip. 

“Dance with me,” he whispered in your ear. You giggled but obliged, pressing yourself into him and wrapping your arms around his neck as you swayed. His arms wrapped around your waist, his skin warm against yours. Josh buried his head into the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath before pulling away and kissing you deeply. 

You couldn’t wait any more- the feeling of him being so close, yet not close enough was driving you mad. “Josh please,” you whimpered. He nodded and released you from his arms before kneeling in front of you. You watched him as he slowly undid the button of your shorts before pulling the zipper down painfully slow. You were practically vibrating at the feeling of his fingertips lightly touching your skin as he pulled your shorts down. He placed a hand on your hip to steady you as you stepped out of them.

He looked up and smiled at you- it was a soft smile, like the one he greeted you with when you caught each other’s glance in the midst of the chaos backstage. “You’re gorgeous,” he murmured, taking you in. He leaned in to leave open mouthed kisses along your thighs as his hands ran up along the back of your legs. When his mouth reached your hip bone, you reached to pull him up from the ground and pull him in for a kiss.

“I’ve waited this long for this, I’m going to take my time with you,” he said softly as he backed you up to the bed, letting you sit before he pushed you into the mattress. “Do you want me to go slow?” he whispered in your ear as his hand ran up along the inside of your thighs. “Whatever you want, Josh,” you croaked as his hand finally came to rest on your center. 

“No,” he shook his head, “tell me what you want.” You swallowed hard as he moved his hand, providing slight friction against your aching cunt. “I want you, Josh,” you rasped. He smiled at you, this time more of a sly grin. “And you have me,” he replied as he slowly slid your panties to the side, never breaking eye contact with you. 

“Even better than I imagined,” he said softly as he took you in, laying beneath him on the bed. He slowly slid his middle finger up through your folds. You sucked in a breath as you watched him close his eyes, his jaw clenching. He leaned forward to kiss along your jaw as he swirled his middle two fingers around your clit experimentally. “You’re so wet,” he murmured before pressing his mouth back against the warm skin of your neck. “All for you,” you whispered in response. He hummed against your skin as he slowly slid down your body, leaving soft kisses against your skin.

Josh stopped when he was kneeling between your legs. He slid your panties off and tossed them before flopping to his stomach. His hands carefully pulled you forward and he moved your knees to hook over his shoulders. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched him, his face contorted in concentration and pure lust as he looked at what you were sure was a glistening mess. 

“What?” he asked as he looked up to catch your eye, his face softening. “You look really pretty,” you replied and he shook his head before leaning over to kiss the inside of your knee. “This,” he said before dropping down to lick along your folds, “is what’s really pretty.” 

You would’ve rolled your eyes at the cheesiness if he didn’t follow the statement with a lick straight to your clit, the slight roughness of his tongue sending your head back against the bed. He took that as encouragement and did it again before suctioning his mouth over you. 

Josh worked slowly, but with intention. Every move he made had you gasping for air as he coaxed you to orgasm. You reached down to run your hands through his loose curls before he removed one hand from your leg to weave his fingers through yours. The extra connection got you over the ledge and you came hard, Josh’s name falling from your lips as you rode out the waves of pleasure. 

He gave you a moment to breathe before releasing your hand and pushing up off of his stomach. He gave you a crooked smile, his chin soaked with a combination of your wetness and his saliva. Josh cocked an eyebrow at you as you struggled to catch your breath. He wiped his chin before reaching down to run a coarse thumb over your clit, causing your hips to buck. 

“A little sensitive?” he asked, clearly enjoying the slight element of torment. You reached up and pulled him down on top of you in response, enjoying the weight of his body against yours. Your hands found the waistband of his pants and quickly worked to undo the button and hastily push the fabric off of his hips. Josh reached down to help you, tugging his pants the rest of the way off and tossing them to the floor. 

“Shit, I actually need those,” he said as he started to push himself off of you. “What?” you asked, grabbing onto his shoulder to stop him. “I brought a condom. I got it from Sam, I don’t just carry them around, because I haven’t-” he started, speaking quickly. “Josh,” you said and he stopped. “I have an IUD. We don’t need one unless you feel more comfortable with one,” you said and he stopped to look up at you. “Really?” he asked and you nodded. “I want to feel you. All of you,” you whispered as you ran a hand along his jaw. He nodded and leaned in to kiss you.

He kissed you for another moment before moving to kiss along your jaw. “Josh,” you said breathlessly. “Hmmmm,” he hummed against your skin. “I need you. Please,” you whimpered. He pulled back and smiled at you. “Seems to be the word of the night- please,” he chuckled and you rolled your eyes. 

“I can’t lie,” he whispered as he lined himself up with you, “I’ve been waiting for this since the moment I saw you.” “Really?” you asked and he nodded against your neck. “Me too,” you replied quietly as you turned to press a soft kiss against his lips.

 Josh took a deep breath before slowly pushing into you. He bent and groaned against your skin, his body melting into yours. You took in a deep breath as you adjusted to him- you knew he’d be big given you had been up close and personal to his lower half many times, but the ache made you realize you had greatly underestimated his size. 

“You okay? Can I move or do you need a second?” Josh whispered before lifting himself from your chest to look at you. “Give me a second, you’re bigger than I thought,” you answered honestly and he chuckled in response. “Nothing you can’t take,” he whispered in your ear, sending electricity shooting down your spine. A moment later you nodded to him and he moved slowly, easing himself in and out of you carefully. You were able to finish adjusting and the slight pain turned to immense pleasure. 

Everything was slow- his strokes, the way his hands glided along your body, the way his mouth moved against yours. In any other scenario, you’d be screaming for more, but the intimacy you felt was meeting every need you had. All except one- you needed more of him. More of the way he smelled, the way he softly moaned in your ear and against your lips as he hit spots deep inside of you, the way his chest rose and fell against yours. 

“Josh,” you said quietly. He looked up to meet your eyes, “yeah?” You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled yourself up to kiss him. “Please, I need you closer,” you panted and he nodded against your neck before pulling out. You whimpered at the loss of feeling, but his hands never left your body as he moved to lay beside you. 

Josh pulled you against his chest, his arm wrapping around your body as he pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. He lifted your leg up and over his hip before sliding back into you with a heavy sigh. Something about laying next to each other, wrapped in each other’s arms with your chests pressed together felt so right. 

He pushed the hair back from your eyes as you leaned to watch him thrust into you. “Fuck you feel so good,” he rasped as he thrust harder, causing you to let your head fall back against his arm. His hand brushed up against your side, leaving heat lingering in its wake as he moved to caress your face. He was everything you’d ever wanted and more.

Josh’s breathing was picking up, his chest heaving against yours as he struggled to maintain composure. “I don’t, uh, fuck,” he rasped between strokes. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold on,” he admitted, his face contorted as he focused. You leaned in to close the little space between you and kissed him one last time before pulling away and moving the curls from his sweaty forehead. “Cum for me Josh,” you urged.

That was all it took for him to finally let that final wall down. He clutched you to his chest as he came, your name falling from his lips in whispers and grunts as he came inside you. You gave him a moment to finish riding his high before you leaned to kiss him and press your forehead against his. 

Both of you laid like that for a moment, completely overtaken by bliss and basking in the post-sex high. Josh spoke first, breaking the comfortable silence. “That was…” he started before shaking his head against you, “better than amazing.” You couldn’t help but chuckle as you took in the words he had said- for a man that penned some of the most beautiful songs you’d ever heard, he seemed to be falling short of his usual prose. “What?” he asked, his eyes searching yours. “You seem a little less… poetic than usual,” you answered and he chuckled in response. “You left me speechless,” he answered.

Josh leaned down to slowly pull out of you, both of you groaning. “Don’t move,” he said as he stood quickly and headed towards the bathroom. A moment later he emerged with a warm washcloth.

You watched him as he carefully wiped you clean. His brows were furrowed as he concentrated, moving slowly and carefully so as not to overstimulate you. Once he had finished, he sat between your legs, gently running his hands along them. “I don’t know about you, but I think I need a shower. Care to join me?” he asked. His tone let you know he really wanted you to join him, although he’d never force you. “Sure,” you replied with a smile. 

Josh told you not to move until he had the warm water running and held his finger up towards you before running back to the bathroom to start the shower. You giggled as you watched him move quickly, his curls flopping.

A moment later, he emerged and held his hand out for you. “Come on sweet girl,” he said as he helped you up off of the bed. You followed him into the bathroom where steam was starting to accumulate. You entered the walk in shower first, Josh’s hand never leaving your body.

He was constantly connected to you- if he wasn’t gently washing your hair, he had his hand on your jaw as he leaned in to kiss you or his hand was gently placed on your side as you washed his hair. You’d never showered with another person, yet this didn’t feel foreign. Josh’s presence provided comfort and every time he touched you, it left you feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. While you were both naked, you felt a different type of energy between you- not sexual yet it was intimate in a different way.

After you’d both showered, you dried off side by side. “Can I spend the night?” Josh had asked as he watched you put your hair up in a towel. “Please,” was your simple answer. He flashed you a big grin before pulling you in for another kiss- this one was sweet and gave a promise of many more like it in the future. “I’m going to get a change of clothes and brush my teeth then, okay?” he said and you nodded. 

He disappeared back into the room and came back fully clothed. You frowned at the sight. “I’ll shed a few layers when I come back, okay?” he said quietly before leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. You nodded and he slipped out into the hall. 

You finished getting ready for bed and waited for Josh to get back. You were utterly exhausted yet wired at the same time- you’d never felt this sure of a decision before in your life. You loved Josh, fully and completely, and it was unlike anything you’d ever felt.

The sound of the lock clicking made you sit up in bed. Josh came back into the room and you gave him a bright smile which he returned before walking over to you. 

He bent to press a hand against your face and kiss your forehead. Josh plugged his phone into an extra charger you’d set up on the nightstand for him before removing his shirt. You moved over and opened the comforter up to invite him into the bed and he joined you, pulling you to his chest as he settled into the mattress. He turned to flip the light off before settling in next to you.

Both of you laid quietly for a moment. You listened to his heart beat in his chest, the sound instantly relaxing you. After a moment, Josh took a deep breath before speaking. “I think I love you,” he said quietly, his voice timid. “You think? Or you know?” you asked, your tone clearly not accusatory, but definitely curious. You felt his chest vibrate slightly as he chuckled uncomfortably and he reflected on his statement. “I know. 100%,” he answered, this time confidently. “Good, because I think I may love you,” you replied. You felt his breathing shift and you reached up to move the wet curls away from his face. “Except I know, too,” you finished before pressing a light kiss to his lips.

___________________________________

You woke up to your phone buzzing incessantly on the nightstand. You groaned and turned to reach for it but weren’t able to move- Josh had you clutched to his chest, both arms wrapped around you as he breathed softly in your ear. You gently loosened his grip on you and leaned forward to reach for your phone.

Josh’s phone was the one ringing, not yours. You saw that his brothers had called and texted a few times but you refrained from reading anything and instead put the phone back down before rolling back to face Josh, who was still fast asleep. 

You watched him sleep for a moment, taking comfort in watching his chest rise and fall. His face was relaxed in a way you loved to see- no stress, no pain, no thinking, just pure bliss. He must have felt your eyes on him as he started to stir, his hands reaching out unconsciously to pull you into his chest. 

“Good morning,” he said quietly before pressing a kiss into the top of your head. His voice was low and raspy, laced with exhaustion as he stretched next to you. “Good morning,” you replied as you turned your head to look at him. Sleep was still etched on his face as he smiled at you, relaxed and warm. 

“Last night was…” you started and Josh’s smile widened as he closed his eyes to reminisce. “Long overdue,” he finished your thought. You nodded and rested your head on his chest. “I was also going to say perfect, but that works,” you replied. His chest rose and fell as he chuckled, the sound deep and melodic. “I have to agree. Lots more of that in the future,” he added before pressing another kiss against your forehead and reaching for his phone.

“What’s up? Did you get a call time?” you asked, turning to watch him as he read through the messages on his phone. “Yeah, apparently they told us last night that we need to leave at 10. Totally missed that, was a little preoccupied,” he said with a chuckle. You angled his phone so you could see the time and groaned. “It’s already 9:45? I guess we need to get up,” you said with a sigh and Josh groaned in response before pulling you closer. “Let’s just enjoy this for one moment longer, please,” he begged. You nodded against him, in total agreement. 

_______________________________________

Loud, repetitive knocking on your door woke you up. Josh had also been asleep and groaned as you pulled yourself away from him. He followed you to the door though and wrapped his arm around you as you pulled it open. 

Jake stood in front of you, luggage in hand and a scowl on his face. “You guys are late, get dressed and get downstairs before Em kills both of you,” he said as he thrust Josh’s backpack into his hands before turning on his heel and heading down the hall, pulling his and Josh’s suitcases behind him. 

“Fuck,” Josh whispered as he turned to show you his phone which was displaying the time as 10:15 am. You and Josh hurried to get ready and you packed the rest of your belongings before you both headed down the hall and into the elevator. In one of the last moments of private peace of the day, Josh pulled you into him and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. You pulled back as the elevator doors opened, reaching out to squeeze his hand slightly before walking out to the bus.

“Glad you could join us,” Emily said as you both climbed onto the wardrobe bus. She was clearly irritated, but the smile she gave you indicated she wasn’t as angry as she appeared. “You two sit and we can finally get on our way,” she said as she headed off the bus in a whirlwind, clipboard in hand.

You took your regular spot and Josh sat on the bench closest to you, giving you a smile before reaching out to squeeze your hand. You both looked over at Sam who was stretched out on the bench across from both of you. He gave you and Josh a smile before settling back into the pillows on the bench and starting to scroll on his phone. “Fucking finally,” he said, almost to himself as he settled in for the short ride to the venue. You turned to look at Josh who just shrugged.

The day moved slowly, the way it always seemed to when you had to get to a venue early. Today was different though- Josh, who was always by your side anyway, was even closer to you the entire time. He was always touching you, whether it be his hand gently wrapped over yours or his leg stretched out to gently rest against yours as you sat on the floor of his dressing room, both of you enthralled in your own separate projects. Things felt the way they always had, albeit a bit different. You were comfortable, basking in the love that was pouring out of Josh and returning it back to him.

When Emily stuck her head in and called for Josh to make his way to the stage, your heart swelled from the excitement you felt over getting to share this amazing, talented person with those gathered in the venue that night. He looked good, as he always did, but the red jumpsuit seemed to cling to him more perfectly than you remembered. Something about seeing the man you loved in something you created filled you with a sense of euphoria unmatched by anything else.

Josh pulled you out into the hallway, the rest of the band and various parts of their team waiting to walk the short distance to the staging area. Josh pulled you into him and pressed a gentle, but passionate kiss against your lips, his head tilting to rest his forehead against yours before he pulled back. He gave you a grin before squeezing both of your hands and heading down the hallway, seemingly floating on a sea of red sequins and sparkles. 

You turned to look at the rest of the group. Most people looked a little shocked, although the smiles you saw from the rest of the band, as well as Emily and Ava, seemed to confirm that they knew that this was coming. Josh had simply made his stand, claiming you as his person before heading down the hall to perform and enchant the masses like any other day. 

~fin~

Thank you to everyone who has been reading along and enjoying this little story I've grown so attached to! I truly appreciate all the love and support, and knowing at least a few people have tuned in means so much to me!

You can expect some spin-off's in this seamstress universe, as they're already in the works! I feel like Ava and Sam need a chance to have their side of the story told, and I promise Danny has his time coming! I also have the title card and outline for a special 16th part to Seamstress, so hopefully one day that can come together!

Sorry for the late post, but I hope I was able to wrap things up nicely for y'all!

____________________________________________

much love to my forever editor: @joshs-jonch

*** NOTE: Mentions of predatory behavior in the first two paragraphs and it is mentioned a few more times in this part. Nothing graphic, but please be aware ***

*** Mature themes- minors DNI ***

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

__________________________________________

“I was hoping maybe we would have a moment alone together,” Andy said as he moved forward, raising his hand above your head and trapping you in the closet with his body. 

“You know, as much as I’d love to stay and chat, I really need to get these shoes back to Sam. I told them I’d be right back so,” you said as you started to push past Andy. He placed a large hand on your shoulder and pushed you back into the closet. “Why are you in such a rush, hm?” he asked, his face getting uncomfortably close to yours. “Because, Andy, I have a job I need to do. And if you don’t get out of my way, I promise this won’t end well for you,” you replied, your sharpness surprising you. He pushed you back again, his hands likely leaving a mark as he squeezed you harder. “I just need three minutes,” he said as he leaned forward, his hands fumbling with your clothes. 

“Three minutes is about all you have to get the fuck out of my sight,” a voice barked from the corner. Andy jumped backwards, his hands leaving you immediately. You turned to see Danny standing with his arms crossed, Emily by his side, eyes wide as she talked into a walkie talkie. “You heard me. Go. Don’t be surprised if you don’t have a job after this gets back to your boss,” Danny said, his voice loud and threatening, a stark difference from his usually either soft-spoken or goofy demeanor. 

Andy turned and pointed a finger at Danny. “I have a contract, you can’t just dismiss me. I didn’t even do anything! We were just talking!” Andy spat. Danny looked past him to you. “Is that true?” he asked, his voice gentle. You shook your head. “You make my team uncomfortable, you get booted. I don’t care what the contract says. Try and fight me- I am sure the lawyers we have on retainer will have a field day with you,” Danny replied with a sneer. Two security guards boarded the bus and Emily pointed towards Andy. They moved to grab ahold of him, but he threw his arms up and walked towards the front of the bus. 

Emily was at your side in an instant, taking hold of you and pulling you into her chest. Danny explained the situation to the security guards who nodded before following Andy off the bus. You took a deep, shaky breath before pulling away from Emily. “Are you okay?” Danny asked, instinctively reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder but stopping. “I’m okay. I’m just glad you guys showed up,” you replied with a weak smile. “Okay, well lets head back inside, no use hanging out here,” Emily said, taking your hand and leading you behind her back into the venue. 

Emily dropped you back off in Josh’s dressing room, sitting you on the couch and promising you she’d be back as soon as she made some calls to replace Andy and get him fired from the company. 

Josh's voice brought you back to reality. “Oh, I’m going to kill him,” Josh barked as he shot up from his seat, face red after Danny had explained what had just happened. “Josh, he’s already been taken care of, it’s not going to help anything. Besides, what are you gonna do? Do a routine in your dance costume? Chill out,” Jake said. 

“It’s ice skating,” you said quietly and Jake bent down next to you. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” Jake said softly, reaching out to gently take Sam’s shoes from you. You hadn’t even noticed you’d had them, but the marks in the soft leather proved you’d been clutching them rather hard for the past few minutes. 

You looked up to see four sets of brown eyes staring at you intensely. Josh’s eyes were hardened with anger over the situation, Danny’s had softened into worry and Jake’s were deep with concern. Sam was a little harder to read.

 “I shouldn’t have asked about the shoes. Or I should have just grabbed them myself,” Sam said quietly as he came to sit down next to you. “Sam, there’s no way you could’ve known this would have happened. And wardrobe is my job, you have other things to focus on,” you replied. “I’m still sorry,” he whispered. 

You stood up, crossing your arms. “You guys are treating me like something horrible happened. It didn’t. Luckily Danny showed up at the perfect time. Besides, Andy is gone, we have nothing more to worry about. And we have a job to do. The first set of openers are on and only one of you is dressed so, please, go get ready so I can do my job and ensure everything is perfect before you have to go do yours,” you said, your voice more steady and confident than you felt. 

Sam was the first one to move, standing and nodding before heading out into the hall. “Okay, but we will be following up when the dust has settled,” Danny said, giving you a stern look before following after Sam. Jake stayed for a moment, deep in contemplation. He had sat on the coffee table facing you and his eyes traced over you, looking for something. Finally, he spoke. “If you want to move along, we will. But I want you to know that this isn’t just some little thing. And it’s okay to not be okay.” You nodded and reached forward to squeeze his shoulder before motioning to the door. He nodded and headed after his brothers, closing the door on the way out. 

That left you and Josh, alone in the room where you’d had so many electrifying feelings just minutes before. Your encounter with Alan had zapped any spark you had felt. You took a deep breath. Now is not the time to break down. 

The couch cushions dipped next to you as Josh filled the space that had been utterly empty after Sam had left. You could feel his hesitation as he wrestled his want to support you with his want to maintain your comfort. You decided to close the gap between you and answer his unspoken question of whether or not you could handle touch at the moment. The second your head rested against Josh, the tears started. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into him, the sequined portions of his jumpsuit acting as a painful contrast to the warmth of his embrace. 

You sat together for a moment, your breathing slowing as you calmed yourself back down. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how scary that must have been,” he whispered against your hair. You took in a deep breath- he was right, it was scary. You nodded against his chest and he pulled you closer to him. Somehow, just being connected physically to him seemed to help ease your anxiety. 

You sat back, taking in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m okay, I promise,” you said as you reached for a kleenex to clean your face. “Don’t be sorry. And, like Jake said, it’s okay to not be okay,” Josh said as he reached out to place a hand gently over yours. You nodded and finished wiping your face. “Yes, but I am okay. I will be. And we have a show to focus on,” you said, giving him a weak smile. 

You composed yourself just in time for Sam to burst back through the dressing room door. He was panicked and you stood, instantly absorbing some of his panic. “What Sam? What’s wrong?” you asked, looking him over to try to find the problem. “The button!” he said as he pointed to the button on his pants. Sure enough, the button above the fly had fallen off and was missing. 

“Okay, see, this is why we get ready a little early,” you said as you turned to look for your bookbag. You found it in the corner and pulled a tackle box out of the main pocket. “Alright, take them off,” you instructed as you opened your makeshift sewing kit. “I should’ve just made these elastic,” you hissed to yourself as you searched for the right sized button as Sam stripped the pants off. He handed them to you and you started your repair. 

Completely zeroed in and focused, you were able to attach the button within seconds. “Shit, you’re fast,” Sam noted as he took the pants back from you, carefully sliding them on and testing the button. “Alright, one fire out. Where are the other two?” you asked.

As if on cue, Danny and Jake walked in at almost the same moment. They both turned to show you the entire outfit, and you nodded to each of them. “Looks good. Do either of you have any issues?” you asked as you put away your makeshift sewing kit. They both shook their heads and you nodded. “Alright, you guys are good to go then,” you said, forcing a smile. 

They all watched you in silence as you packed your things back up into your bag. “Are you still watching? From seats? With Ava?” Sam asked. You turned to face him, aligning your backpack down by the side of the couch. “Yeah, I guess,” you answered. “Well, let me make you a drink then,” Sam added with a smile. He headed over to the corner of the room to inspect the selection in Josh’s dressing room. 

Sam made a disgruntled noise before turning and heading towards the door. “Josh, you have a shit selection. Don’t worry, I have better stuff on my rider,” Sam added as he headed out into the hall. Josh had sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. “Come sit. Sam will be a minute,” Josh said gently. Jake and Danny had wandered off into the hall and were chatting with some of the techs, likely talking shop. Emily popped her head in and pointed at you. “I’ll be back in a minute. Are you okay?” she asked and you nodded.

Josh gently laid a hand over yours. “You are okay?” he whispered and you nodded. “If people keep asking me if I’m okay though, I’m going to not be okay,” you said with a chuckle. Josh gave you a sympathetic laugh and you saw him nod out of the corner of your eye as you texted Ava. 

You: Still good to watch from seats?

Ava: Hell yeah! I’ll be down to get you in a minute!

“What’s the setlist for tonight? Did you guys finalize the ‘normal’ one you talked about?” you asked, turning to face Josh. He gave you a smug smile before shaking his head. “It’s a surprise. I think you could use a good surprise right now,” you said, his smile softening. “I suppose I could use one,” you added with a nod.

Sam came back into the room, dragging Ava behind him. “Look who I found! And, I brought you this,” Sam exclaimed, pushing a drink into your hand. He watched you and nodded, waiting for you to take a sip. You did and instantly made a face. “Fuck Sam, that’s strong!” you choked and he nodded proudly. “Good! That means you’ll have a great time. I made Ava one too,” he said, pointing to the matching drink she was holding. “Less strong though, because I apparently don’t hold liquor well,” she said before flipping Sam off. “Oh, and a shot! For good luck!” Sam added, grabbing a bottle of vodka and some shot glasses he’d dropped onto the table upon entering the room. He poured four shots and handed you one. 

You slammed the shot and made a face. “Fuck, I hate vodka,” you said through gritted teeth. Josh shook his head at the shot Sam tried to hand him. You took it from Sam and shot it back, chasing it with your strong drink. “Well, that was a choice,” Sam said with a laugh. “I’ve had quite the evening Sam, and you’re the one bringing me drinks,” you added and he shrugged. “Touche,” Sam retorted. 

Jake and Danny came back in and Jake poured his own shot before downing it. “Sam, Jason has a bass question,” Jake said after straightening, pointing towards the hall. Sam nodded and reached over to squeeze Ava’s shoulder. “Make sure she makes it back on the bus, huh?” he said, motioning to you before heading out into the hall. 

“Wanna try?” you asked Danny, offering him your drink. “Did Sam make that?” he asked and you nodded. “Then respectfully, hell no. I have a job to do still, but you should definitely enjoy that,” he added, giving you a smile. 

One of the techs poked his head into the room. “Two minutes guys, let’s go,” he barked. Josh turned to give your shoulders a squeeze before turning to Ava. “Make sure she makes it back in one piece please,” Josh said with a chuckle. “You guys are acting like she drank half the mini bar, relax and go put on a show for us,” Ava said, pushing them out into the hall. “See you afterwards,” Danny said with a smile before turning to head towards the stage. 

Ava pulled you the opposite direction, both of you scrambling to put on your credentials and find the seats you’d been given for the show. The seats were much closer than you thought you’d be, nearly a few feet away from Sam’s side of the stage. You and Ava took your seats and did some people watching before the lights turned down and the monologue started. “This may be the third rendition of the monologue and I have heard it tons of times, but it still gives me chills,” Ava whispered. You nodded as you listened to Josh ramble, his word choice always utterly poetic. 

The curtain dropped and you couldn’t help but smile as you saw your designs come to life by the people you’d grown to love as they did what they enjoyed the most. Everything fit perfectly, the red stark against the crisp white and grays of the set design, bringing life to each move they made. 

You sipped your drink as you listened, your eyes never leaving Josh. He had such a magnetic presence about him, a star quality unlike anything you’d ever seen. Josh moved effortlessly, his jumpsuit an extension of self as he moved across the stage. “These may be my favorite designs yet,” Ava yelled to you over the music. You nodded, tears filling your eyes as you watched the art and music meld into one. 

Sam took his jacket off, carefully handing it to a stagehand before finishing the drink he’d placed on his piano, chucking it off to the side of the stage. “Thank god he didn’t throw that jacket,” you said with a laugh. “He knows better,” Ava replied with a chuckle. You watched her for a moment and realized she had been watching Sam with the same look of awe you’d likely watched Josh with. I need to ask Sam about that. You turned back to see Sam walk towards your seats, blowing you and Ava a kiss before jumping back onto the stage. The people in the seats next to you screamed and you swore the woman to your left nearly fainted. You turned to Ava and both of you laughed as you sipped on your drinks. I fear these people have no idea who we are.

The show continued and you remained utterly starstruck. The presence they had on stage was unlike anything you’d seen, and seeing it live and so close altered how you thought of them as people and performers. You knew these were characters they played, but you saw small glimpses of who they were privately too. You saw the real Danny when he watched Sam, always laughing at his best friend. Sam turned back into his goofy self when he saw something in the crowd that caught his attention, his focus fleeting for only a moment. Jake and Josh were their normal selves when they connected on stage, their bond unmistakeable.

Ava nudged you as you finished your drink. “We should head back now, they’re almost done,” she said and you nodded. She stood, helping you up as you headed out of the aisle and up the stairs. Both of you laughed as you headed towards backstage, throwing your cups away before showing the security guard your credentials. He nodded and let you both through without an issue.

Emily was the first familiar face you saw once you got back to the dressing rooms. “There you are! I wanted to check in on you,” she said as she hurried over. “Oh, you had one of Sam’s drinks, didn’t you?” Emily asked, her face paling as she backed up. “God, the smell of alcohol makes me queasy,” Emily added as she found her way to a chair. “I got you guys pizza, once again. It was actually Jake who wanted it this time, to my surprise. It’ll be here at,” she checked her phone, “shit, now. Ava can you be a dear and go meet the delivery person out back?” Ava nodded and headed towards the back lot. 

Emily patted the seat next to her and you went to take a seat. She fished in her backpack and pulled out a piece of gum, shoving it into your hand. “Please, dear god, chew that,” she said with a grimace. You obliged. “I didn’t even drink that much, I think you’re just overly sensitive and pregnant,” you added and she shook her head. “If you had a Sam drink, it had at least three shots in it,” she said, giving you a knowing glance. You held both hands up, “okay, well I’m still sober enough to function.” 

Emily nodded and turned to face you, the gum apparently working. “Andy was fired, and they have a replacement headed out now. He should actually be here soon,” she checked her phone again, “luckily in time to head out. Dean said he will be driving your bus until Albert is back or the end of the tour, whichever comes first. No exceptions.” 

You took a deep breath and flopped back into the couch, tension you didn’t even realize you had leaving your body. “Thank god. How is Albert?” you asked. “Great actually. He’s out of surgery and they’re expecting a full recovery. They’re hoping to take him back home to Tennessee in the next few days. I talked to his wife and she wants to meet you. They’re hoping you’ll come and visit during our break time.”

The good news made you smile. “Of course. You’ll have to give me their info. When I’m more sober than this,” you added with a chuckle. “Oh, for sure. Listen, legally I don’t think there’s much we can do against Andy. But, he did get fired from the company and he’s blacklisted from transport for the foreseeable future,” Emily said, placing a hand on yours. “That’s fine. I really just wanted him fired so he couldn’t pull that shit again,” you said, giving her a tight smile. “Okay, well, if you need anything, you let me know. Okay?” she said, leaning forward to pull you into a hug.

Emily pulled away, gagging slightly. “God, you stink like vodka,” she choked and you scooted further from her. “Let me go figure out this food situation,” Emily said before heading towards where Ava was ushering in a few venue staff who were carrying pizza boxes. You stood too and decided to see what needed to be done to help.

“So, what’d you think?” The voice came from behind you and you jumped before spinning to see Sam standing behind you, a huge grin on his face. “Of what?” you asked, thrown off by his abruptness. “Well, the show of course,” Jake added as he came up behind Sam, unbuttoning his pants as he put an arm around his brother. “What are you doing all that for,” you said pointing to where his pants were now hanging open. Jake laughed and pushed past you as he headed for his dressing room.

 “The man always strips before it’s time. You should’ve seen him this one time we came off stage and we didn’t know there was a group of like, big wigs all waiting to congratulate us, and he just walks out and his dick is practically out and,” Sam rambled. Josh walked up next to Sam and held his hand up, silencing Sam. “Go shower please, Sam,” Josh said, giving him a sideways glance. Sam rolled his eyes but nodded and headed off towards his dressing room. 

“You good?” Josh asked before shaking his head. “Let me try that again. You feeling that drink?” he asked and you nodded with a laugh. “Yeah, I think it hit about halfway through whatever Sam was saying just now,” you said as you turned to walk with him. “I’ll get your thoughts on the performance on the bus. Please go eat something,” Josh said before pointing you towards the table scattered with various types of pizza. 

How you ended up on the bus, you have no idea. But here you sat, Josh to your right and a plate of pizza in your lap as the bus rolled onto the highway. You picked up the slice from your plate and took your bite, nodding as you chewed. “So, your thoughts,” Josh inquired as he turned to face you. “I’ll be honest with you, I don’t think I can form sentences that describe what I saw in enough detail,” you said as you chewed. Jake laughed from across the bus and you turned to look at him. “Sam is a hell of a bartender,” Jake added with a smile. 

You nodded, taking another bite of your pizza. “Is it just me or is there a thing going on?” you asked. Josh stiffened slightly beside you and you felt the air crackle with tension. “What do you mean,” Jake asked, clearly feigning nonchalance. Even when I’m drunk I can read these men like a book. We are spending way too much time together. “Ava and Sam, duh,” you said with a chuckle. 

Josh relaxed next to you. “Oh, yeah. I think they’re a thing and they’re just trying to go as long as they can thinking it’s a secret,” Jake said with a laugh. “I think she’s good for him, honestly. But they’re both kinda stupid,” Josh added. 

You sat back on the bench and laughed. “I’m so glad he’s moved right along,” you said as you reflected on that desperate drunken kiss he’d pressed against your lips a few weeks earlier. You felt Josh’s eyes snap onto you and you looked up to see Jake giving you a questioning glance. “Oh shit, did he not tell you guys?” you said with a laugh. “Oh, no, I’ve said too much. I’m just going to eat my pizza,” you said, suddenly aware of how loose your lips were.

“Please tell me you did not have sex with him,” Jake said, his voice filled with dread as he stared intently at Josh. “Uh, hello, I’m over here,” you said and his eyes snapped to focus on you. “Did you?” Jake asked, repeating his question. “Fuck no,” you replied with a laugh as you took another bite of your pizza. 

Jake took a deep breath. “Thank god,” he said quietly. “What are you freaking out about?” you asked and Jake shook his head. “He’s an idiot. And I wouldn’t want you to have to deal with him,” Jake added with a shrug. 

Josh had been uncharacteristically still as you had talked. You turned to him. “And what’s your deal, hmm?” Josh shrugged, “nothing.” His voice was flat, which worried you. “Jesus, you guys are stressing me out. He kissed me when he was super drunk and it was hilarious. For both of us. End of story,” you said, leaning back into the bench. “Oh, okay,” Josh said, shooting Jake a glance. “We will be having a discussion about that, for sure,” Josh added, shaking his head.

You could tell he had relaxed slightly, but you felt your mouth opening once again. “You’re not one to judge,” you said, pointing to Josh. He caught your glance and shook his head slightly, as if he was silently begging you not to expand upon your thought. The way he was staring you down seemed to instantly sober you up and you nodded. Just shut up.

______________________________________

You woke up in your bunk, the sounds of the road whooshing quietly underneath you. You found your way to the main portion of the bus and found Jake and Josh sitting at the middle table. “Hey,” Jake greeted with a smile. “What time is it?” you asked, your eyes adjusting to the dim light coming through the shades covering the windows. “Uh, 9:00?” Josh answered, turning to hand you a coffee cup. “It’s chai. I made it for me but I think you need it more,” Josh said with a chuckle. You nodded and took a seat at the end of the table. 

“How far are we?” you asked, handing Josh his cup back after taking a long sip. “Two hours out. We are in traffic though and have been for about an hour. So who knows, honestly,” Jake answered, turning to pick up a guitar from the bench behind him. You nodded and started on your wardrobe cleaning routine, something you’d neglected to do last night. The routine calmed you and you fell into a rhythm as you listened to Jake strum lazily. 

Josh had moved to the opposite side of the bus and was buried in his sketchbook. “Did I end up saving some of your stuff?” you asked and Josh looked up, his concentration broken. You thought back to the drawings of you, the words he’d written so carefully in the margins. It was nothing. Josh nodded and gave you a smile. “I don’t know how you did it, but you saved most of it,” he said, his grin widening. “The most prized possession, saved,” Jake dug lightheartedly and Josh flipped him off. “And if it was your precious guitar, what would you have done?” Josh shot back and Jake nodded. “You’re right, you’re right,” Jake said, lifting his hands in agreement. 

The procession stopped at a local bagel shop one of the roadies had recommended to pick up breakfast. You caught Jake giving Sam a warning glance that wiped the smile off of his face before the group filed into the small brick building located just off of the freeway. Sam made his way over to you, leaning to whisper in your ear. “What’s their deal?” he asked, giving you a nudge. Shit. “So I may have accidentally told them about that time you kissed me,” you whispered back, turning to keep an eye on Josh and Jake, who were at the counter ordering. 

“You what?” Sam wheezed, his voice raising slightly above a whisper. Ava, who had been standing next to Sam, turned to look at the two of you. Sam gave her a smile before turning back to you. “Well, it’s not like anything happened and you were drunk so it’s not like it meant anything,” you replied, turning to look back at the menu as the twins came your way. 

“So,” Jake said quietly, breaking the tension. “Look, I know you guys are probably mad at me about what she told you, but it was a total mistake and-” Sam started but was cut off by Josh raising his hand. He then did something you didn’t expect- he laughed. His laugh was infectious and soon Jake started to chuckle too. “We are just glad she didn’t quit on us, but you can’t just be kissing people all the time Samuel,” Josh chastised. Ava popped her head around Sam, her eyes wide. “What?” she asked, an air of panic in her voice. “Oh, uh, nothing. What are you going to get?” Sam asked as he turned to point at the menu, effectively ending the conversation. 

Once everyone had gotten their orders, you headed back to the buses. “Can I ride with you?” Danny asked as he jogged to catch up to you. “Of course,” you replied with a smile as you watched Josh head directly for your bus, seemingly an automatic choice. “I’ll join you again I think,” Jake said and you nodded, gesturing for him to board the bus. 

You were the last on the bus and took your usual seat. “No Sam?” you asked and Danny shrugged. “Ava had an interview thing she needed him to do. Something about the production he did on that one album. I can’t remember which one,” Danny added, shaking his head as he unwrapped his sandwich. “Interesting,” Jake replied before taking a bite of his sandwich. 

The ride was quiet while everyone ate, the exhaustion settling in. You were able to make the needed changes to the outfits for the next show by the time the buses pulled into the hotel parking lot. 

Everyone sat and waited for the inevitable hurricane that was Emily to board the bus, barking instructions and updates, but she didn’t show. “Let me text the force of nature,” Jake said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. As soon as he started to type, Emily appeared, her face white. “Shit Em, you good?” Danny asked as he stood, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“Fantastic,” she huffed as she took Danny’s spot on the bench. She shook her head before pulling her clipboard out from under her arm. She unclipped the room keys from the board and handed them out. “I gave Sam the set to your room,” Emily told Danny and he nodded. “Is he coming over for the briefing or-” Jake asked and Emily shook her head. “No, you can fill him in,” she said with a tight smile. You shot Josh a look- something was off. Sensing the tension, Jake prompted Emily to continue. “So, what’s the plan for today, boss lady?” 

Emily nodded, bouncing back to her usual self. “Well, you have the rest of today and tomorrow off. I know there’s a group wanting to go to the beach tomorrow. They wanted to go today, but the weather is obviously not the best,” Emily said before gesturing to the windows. It had started to rain, ugly dark storm clouds continuously rolling in. “Todd’s parents run one of the local restaurants so we are going to dinner there. But, other than that, I think the rest of the afternoon is free and open,” Emily finished with a sigh, flopping back into the bench and closing her eyes. You all exchanged glances- something was going on and you couldn’t tell if it was just pregnancy or something more serious. “God I would kill for a Crunchwrap supreme right now,” Emily blurted out, the group erupting in chuckles and agreement. 

Emily sat up, placing a hand on her belly absentmindedly. “Alright, so I will be going to Taco Bell. Who wants in?” she asked. Everyone nodded in agreement- cheap Mexican food sounded surprisingly good. Sam walked down the hallway, face flushed and eyes wide. “Ah, just in time for Taco Bell, why am I not surprised?” Jake said with a chuckle. Sam gave Emily a nod before taking a seat on the bench across from her. “I can go get it,” Sam offered, giving Emily a tense smile. “Yes, you can. Take Daniel too, I don’t trust you by yourself,” Emily added before scribbling something on a piece of paper. She handed the paper and pen to you. She had written her order on the top of the page and you followed suit. 

A few minutes later, Sam and Danny took off in search of any other orders and keys to a van. Josh and Jake had turned and were packing up their stuff when Emily turned to you. “You know Ava pretty well, right?” she whispered and you scooted closer before nodding. “I know her well enough. I figure you know her better though,” you said with a smile. Emily shook her head and leaned in. “I just caught her and Sam together. Did you know about this?” she said quietly and your eyes widened. You shook your head and chuckled. “No, but I guess it makes sense. Why?” you asked. Emily shook her head, clearly stressed. “Emily, what’s wrong? They’re consenting adults, who cares what they do?” you added with a chuckle. 

Emily shot you a look. “I have a feeling he’s going to fuck this up like he always does and then we will be losing a vital member of our team,” she said quietly. If only she knew about the conversation that had happened earlier. You shook your head, placing a hand over the one she had draped over her knee. “It’s fine. Ava is smart- she wouldn’t get into anything she couldn’t handle. And they’re not serious or anything, so it’s fine. I’m sure it’s just tight quarters and long hours taking their toll. I’ll keep an eye on her too, okay?” you added and Emily nodded. “Yes, well,” she stood, straightening her shirt before turning back to you. “I’m going to lay in bed and await my Crunchwrap delivery. I suggest you both,” she pointed to the twins, “rest and stay out of trouble. Please?” They both nodded and the three of you watched Emily head off of the bus.

Josh turned to give you a devilish grin. “Do you smoke?” he asked and you raised your brow. “Smoke what?” you asked. Josh dug in his bag and pulled out a transparent orange pill container that contained a few pre-rolled joints. Josh gave Jake a smirk, which Jake returned. You took a step forward, taking the container from him and inspecting it closer. “How’d you get this? It’s illegal in the south,” you said quietly. “We have our ways,” Jake replied with a chuckle. “It pays to be rich and famous,” Josh added as he slung his arm over your shoulder. He put the container into his pocket and pulled you along with him down the bus hallway. “Let’s go find a spot before the boys get back with our food,” Josh said with a chuckle.

If someone had told you that you’d be eating Taco Bell and smoking a joint with your employers in the future, you wouldn’t have believed them. Yet, here you were, taking a bite of your second taco as you watched Josh Kiszka take a long drag of the second joint of the afternoon. The way he exhaled the smoke through his nose made you weak in a way you didn’t know it could. You’d smoked a little here and there when Jen was able to smuggle some weed back home for you, but it was hard to access in the south and you didn’t have time to go looking. 

Jake took the next hit before handing the end of the blunt to you. “Finish us off,” Sam said from his spot reclined in a lounge chair. You took a deep drag and coughed slightly before passing it to Danny who refused, handing it to Sam instead. “Wouldn’t you like that,” you quipped and Sam let out a laugh before putting the joint to his lips. “Dirty,” Sam said as he exhaled, smoke curling its way around his sharp features. You rolled your eyes and relaxed back into your own chair. 

“Well, I’d rather fall asleep in a bed after that,” Danny said as he stood. He pulled Sam up from his sunken spot, patting him lightly on the cheek. “Yeah, you need some sleep after that,” Danny added, leading his friend towards the hotel. “Shit, a nap sounds fucking splendid,” Jake said as he stood too, gathering the trash from your picnic lunch. “Josh?” he asked as he turned to throw the trash into the nearby garbage can. “Mmmm, leave me here,” Josh said as he settled back into the cushions of an outdoor couch. “Fine. You good?” Jake asked and you nodded. “Yeah. I’ll keep an eye on him,” you added with a chuckle. Jake gave you a salute before heading back towards the hotel. 

You and Josh sat in the silence for a moment, enjoying the quiet. The clouds had stayed, but the sun was starting to peek through, warming your skin. “You look comfy,” you said and Josh grunted in agreement. “More comfortable than that thing,” he said, motioning to the wicker chair you were sitting in. He patted the space next to him. “Come on,” he invited. 

Crossing the deck and sitting down on the edge of the couch was something you didn’t even register doing until you felt Josh’s warm hand on your knee. “Here, come here,” he whispered, pulling you down onto the couch. You obliged, the warmth of his body comforting you and stilling your reeling brain. Both of you shifted until you were laying side by side, pressed against each other. Josh reached out and took your hand in his, bringing it to his chest. “Is my heart beating slow or fast?” he asked. You took a moment to feel his heart pounding against the back of hand. “I don’t know, I guess normal?” you answered with a chuckle. “Oh good, because it feels like it may just come out of my chest,” he said with a sigh. “Why’s that? Are you anxious? I wouldn’t take you to have an anxious high,” you said, turning slightly to face him more. 

Josh shook his head and chuckled. “No, it’s only because you’re here. Next to me,” he said quietly. “Oh, I can go,” you said, starting to rise before he pulled you back down next to him. “No,” was all he uttered before tucking his head into your shoulder. You laid still, not daring to move as you focused on your breathing. He’s just high, this doesn’t mean anything. 

_________________________________________

A gentle hand shaking the body next to you woke you up. It was starting to get dark now and you were sweating profusely. An arm was draped over your stomach and you turned to see that it was attached to Josh, who looked equally as confused as you. “It’s time to get ready for dinner,” Jake said gently. Jake watched as you and Josh pulled your bodies apart and straightened yourselves. He didn’t seem angry, but there was a strange feeling lingering in the air as Josh stood, turning to pull you up from the couch. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a nap that good. Whatever strain that was, it was magical,” Josh said as you trailed behind Jake towards the hotel. You nodded in agreement, although you weren’t sure how much of your relaxed state was due to the weed or being pressed against a warm body as you baked in the Florida sun. 

The elevator ride up to your floor was quiet. “Emily said we are leaving at 7:00, so we will see you in about twenty-five minutes,” Jake said to you as he and Josh headed down the hall. You nodded and inserted the key card into the door of your room. 

Twenty-five minutes was barely enough time to shower and change given your utterly relaxed state. The warm water of the shower stung as it hit your freshly sunburnt skin, the pain grounding you in reality once again. You dried yourself off and changed into a casual, loose outfit to protect your sensitive skin. There wasn’t enough time to do makeup or your hair, so you left it to air dry as you gathered your purse and headed out the door, only a minute late. 

You walked out into the hall and your phone rang. “Hey Em, I’m coming down right now,” you answered as you ensured your room was closed and locked before turning to head towards the elevator. “No! Go get Josh first please! Everyone else is loaded up and ready, we just need the two of you!” Emily said, her voice exasperated. You agreed and turned to walk back down the hall. 

Double-checking the list of rooms Emily had sent out, you approached room 342 and knocked. There was no answer, so you knocked again. A moment later, the door flung open, an irritated Josh standing in the doorway. His face softened when he saw it was you. “Oh, hey,” he said quietly, giving you a slight smile. “I was sent to collect you. It seems we are both running late,” you said as you reached out to take his hands from off the door frame. “Hold on, phone,” he said before darting back into the room and reappearing a second later, tucking his phone into his pocket. He reached out to take your hand, pulling you behind him down the hall.

Josh didn’t let go of your hand until the elevator doors opened on the ground floor. You followed behind him, still tethered to him somehow. Emily was standing outside of the van, arms crossed when you both approached. “Get your asses on the van,  we are going to be late,” she chastised as she swung open the door and pushed you both inside. 

It was dark and crowded- Emily had kept one last van for the stragglers, which ended up being more people than she’d thought. Josh sat in the last open seat and pulled you onto your lap, crossing his arms over your lap. You could barely breathe he was holding you so tight. “You ‘kay?” he whispered to you and you nodded, the street lamps barely illuminating your face.

 But you were not okay, not in the slightest. You were still high and overcome with a feeling of desire unlike anything you’d ever felt. The urge to turn around and run your hands through Josh’s grown out curls and pull his mouth onto yours was so strong that it worried you. 

Professional, professional professional you chanted to yourself, taking a breath after every third repetition. Josh must have felt your tension and eased up slightly on his hold. You continued to focus on your breathing, ignoring the conversations happening next to you. Josh stayed quiet too, likely in his own head from his high.

The restaurant was a smaller local establishment and you were greeted by the group when you made your way inside. Everyone was finding their seats but you joined Ava up at the bar. 

“Hey,” she greeted with a smile as she was handed the beer she must have ordered. “Where’d you go today?” she asked as she took a sip. “Can I get a shot of tequila?” you asked and the bartender nodded, pouring you out a shot and sliding it to you. You nodded and shot it back, tapping the glass back on the counter before turning to face Ava. Her eyes were wide. “You okay?” she asked and you nodded although you knew she could tell you were lying. “Let’s go sit,” she said quietly as she led you towards the table. 

You and Ava grabbed the last two seats at the end of the table and she watched you from over the menu. She leaned forward and asked you again about what you’d done today. “Would you believe me if I said I went and got high with them?” you answered as you leaned forward to dip a chip into the salsa that had been put on the table between you and Ava. She shook her head. “Yes, because I know Sam was high when I saw him today,” she said with a giggle. You cocked an eyebrow and she shrugged. That shrug was all you needed to confirm your suspicions- they were hooking up. You were unsure in what capacity, but you knew it was happening. 

You ordered a drink and started to relax more as the alcohol compounded with the effects of the weed left in your system. The small talk went ‘round and ‘round as everyone enjoyed each other’s company and the food. You stole glances down the table at Josh, who was sticking to water and likely working to sober himself up. Every so often, he’d catch your gaze and give you a small smile, his pink sunburnt cheeks flush even in the dim restaurant lighting. 

The food was good, as was the company, but you were ready to get back to the safety of your room. No complicated feelings, no noise, just the sterility and silence that was only reserved for hotels and hospitals. When you stood up from the table, you realized you had probably exceeded your limit and Ava was next to you instantly, taking your arm in hers and leading you out to one of the vans. She helped you crawl to the back and strap on your seatbelt as you waited for the rest of the group to join you.

“What is up with you?” Ava asked, her voice a whisper. “What’s up with you?” you echoed her question and she sighed. “Sam and I are hooking up, but that’s old news. Well, not old, but I think we are being more open about it. Your turn,” she said, giving you a nudge. You shrugged and she gave you a look that, even in the dark, told you she needed an answer. 

You both turned to watch the rest of the group file out of the restaurant. She turned to face you. “I was honest with you, so you be honest with me,” she started, lowering her voice as Dean climbed into the driver’s seat. “Are you and Josh together?” she asked. 

Suddenly you felt sick. “What do you mean?” you asked. Ava sighed and adjusted her seat before continuing. “I don’t know. I just feel like there’s something there,” she added. You shook your head “no, there can’t be.” She gave you a confused yet worried look, but dropped the conversation as the group started to climb into the van, Danny sliding into the seat in front of you and Ava. 

Danny turned to face you and Ava, a smile on his face. “Are you guys excited for the beach tomorrow?” he asked, his excitement palpable. “Yes! We were just talking about how excited we are!” Ava said, giving you a nudge. You nodded in agreement.

Danny nodded and looked at you closely before pointing to your nose. “We are going to need to get a tent for you and Josh. I think you both got a little burned today,” Danny said, giving your shoulder a light squeeze before turning around and starting a conversation with the tech that had sat down beside him. 

You ignored Ava’s stares and closed your eyes instead, the nausea increasing the second Josh climbed into the van. You were silent the entire drive back, your eyes closed tight to avoid dealing with reality. 

Once the van came to a stop, you felt two pairs of hands helping slide you out of your seat. Your eyes flew open and you saw Danny helping Ava move you into the aisle. “I’m fine,” you snapped, pulling your arms out of Danny’s grasp. “Okay, okay,” he said, rocking back in the seats as he raised his hands. “We thought you were asleep and wanted to help get you upstairs,” Danny added, watching you closely. You crawled off the bus and headed towards the entrance of the hotel, Ava catching up to you and taking your arm. You turned back to see Danny talking to Josh, something that made your stomach flip.

“I’m not fucked up,” you whispered to Ava who shrugged. “Well, you were high before you had three drinks, so I don’t think you’re sober,” Ava added with a chuckle. “I just don’t want to feel for one single moment,” you said quietly once you were both settled on the elevator. She turned to look at you, her face showing clear concern. “You better tell me what’s up,” she said before reaching forward to hit the button for your floor, “or I will go ask Josh.” That sobered you up quickly. “No!” you exclaimed, grabbing onto her hands. She rolled her eyes, “so tell me what’s got you fucked up.” 

You took a deep breath. “I kissed Josh. Like a long time ago, but I don’t think the feelings went away and I just can’t,” you said, the words running out of your mouth. “And I don’t think he feels the same but he also had all these drawings of me and my body and I don’t know what that means, but I do know that he’s my boss and I just-” you took a breath, “I don’t know.” 

Ava’s eyes were wide as she nodded, leading you out of the elevator and to your room. She fished your key out of your purse and let you both into your room before sitting you down on your bed. “Listen to me very carefully,” she said, leaning forward to meet you on your level. “There’s something there. That’s very clear. And I think it would be a waste not to explore that. Screw the dynamics- I’m fucking Sam on the regular and have yet to hear anything about it. I mean, shit, Em walked in on us and just left and hasn’t said a thing sense.” 

Ava shrugged before taking your head in her hands. “There’s something there. There is no way to deny that. Even I see it. So I think you need to stop being a wuss,” she said before dropping her hands to squeeze your shoulders. “And if not Josh, I know Danny is into you,” she added with a chuckle. “Oh god, don’t say that,” you groaned before flopping back onto the bed. 

You covered your face with your hands before groaning again. “I need to tell you something else,” you said and Ava took a deep breath. “Sam kissed me,” you whispered and Ava snorted. “Oh, I know. He told me. And I don’t care,” she said with a chuckle. You removed your hands from your face and looked at her. Sure enough, her face was relaxed, her eyes clear as she watched you. “Now, you need to go to sleep and wake up, get on a sexy suit, and make your move tomorrow,” Ava said, leaning down to pat the top of your head. You groaned but agreed and Ava headed out the door.

You groaned once more before sitting up, nearly falling off the bed when you saw Josh standing in front of you, probably as wide-eyed as you were. “Shit,” you whispered as you reached out to get your bearings. “Sorry, Ava let me in,” he said quietly, his eyes watching you closely, scanning your face to gauge your reaction. “Can we talk?” 

__________________________________________

You nodded and Josh walked further into your room, pacing slightly before leaning against the desk on the opposite side of your room. “Josh, what’s up?” you asked, faking nonchalance even though you felt like your heart was about to beat straight out of your chest. The alcohol still had you swimming in your head, and the nerves weren’t helping to sober you up. He looked at you, his eyes wide and clear, before he shook his head.

He was silent for a moment and you could see some sort of turmoil happening deep inside his beautiful head. “Josh,” you coaxed gently, unsure of what he would say next. He’s going to call me out for being inappropriate. Tell me I need to back off, be more professional. Tell me he doesn’t feel the same way I do. You watched him take a deep breath. Or tell me he’s firing me. This may not even have anything to do with the way I feel about him. Oh god, what if he actually doesn’t like my designs and they’re letting me go.

Josh caught your eye and you both held each other’s gaze for a moment. “You’re an over-thinker too, aren’t you?” he said with a knowing glance. “Where’d you go just now?” he asked quietly. “You first. You’re the one who came into my room to talk at-” you checked your phone “- nearly midnight. And you’re more sober. By a long shot.” 

He ran a hand up and lightly through his curls, the motion loosening them slightly. “I guess I’ll just say it. I’m into you. Really, truly, into you,” he said, his voice pitching higher than usual. You sat for a second, just staring at him. He continued. “And I feel like there’s something here. Between us. And if there isn’t, I understand and I apologize for being unprofessional. And Emily will have a field day over this,” he added with a deep breath. He hadn’t looked back up to meet your eyes and he was clearly stressed as he picked at the beads he wore loosely around his neck.

You were sober enough to understand what was happening, but too drunk to stop yourself as you stood and crossed the room in record speed. Your hands kept you grounded as you planted them on his chest before leaning in to press your lips to his. The action must have surprised him because he remained tense for a moment, hands still dropped to his sides. A moment later though, he returned your enthusiasm, his hands trailing up from the outside of your upper thighs and coming to rest on your hips. He pulled you closer to him as the kiss deepened, the intensity ratcheting up to a new level.  

Your hands found their way to his hair and you pulled the loose curls into your fingers. Josh moaned slightly as the feeling and dropped his hands down to cup your ass, pulling you closer to him. He pulled back after another minute, both of your sets of hands starting to wander around each other’s bodies as you yearned for more contact. 

“You’re drunk,” Josh started before pausing to swallow the noticeable lump in his throat, “we should stop.” You groaned and pressed your face into his chest. He rested his head on yours and you listened to his heart beat steadily. “Why does this keep happening, I just want to have sex with you damn it,” you groaned and his chest shook as he chuckled. “At least we know where we stand. And I want you fully coherent when the time comes,” he replied quietly as he rubbed a hand up and down your back. The act was a sweet, caring gesture- a stark contrast to the way his tongue had moved in your mouth just moments before. 

You pulled back to look at him. “Where do we stand then?” you asked, your words slightly slurred as the alcohol was joined by the absolute high that was kissing Josh Kiszka. “Well, hopefully together,” he replied with a chuckle. “Well, duh,” you added as you pulled him behind you as you climbed onto the bed. “I shouldn’t,” he said as he watched you move more onto the bed. “Just lay with me. I know we aren’t having sex, relax,” you said with a laugh as you flopped back into the pillows. 

Josh complied and kicked his shoes off before sliding up next to you in the bed. You turned to face him and intertwined your legs with his as you both laid on your sides facing each other. “What are we though? Really?” you asked and Josh sighed. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be. A hookup, a friend,” he looked up to meet your eyes, “a boyfriend. A lover.” You grimaced at his last offer and he gave you a questioning glance. “A lover? That sounds so overly poetic, like something some middle-aged divorcees would say,” you said with a chuckle and Josh nodded in agreement. 

You leaned forward to press your lips to his again, this kiss sweeter and more relaxed. Josh’s phone buzzed incessantly on the side table and he pulled away with a groan, rolling to reach for it. 

“Yeah,” he answered, clearly irritated at being interrupted. He rolled back over to face you as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the line. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a moment,” he said quietly before hanging up. He sighed and rested his head back down on the pillow, his eyes searching yours. You raised an eyebrow in question and he rolled his eyes. “Jake wants me to come put icy hot on his shoulder. Having a twin is having a constant cock-block I swear,” Josh added with a chuckle as he leaned in to kiss you. You lifted your hand up to the side of his face and deepened the kiss. “You know,” you said between kisses, “I’m more sober now. You can tell Jake to put his own icy hot on.” Josh chuckled and shook his head before giving you one final kiss and rolling off the bed. 

“You have no idea how hard it is to be saying no to you right now,” Josh said quietly as his eyes trailed over your body. “So don’t say no,” you shot back, narrowing your eyes slightly to challenge him. “Like I said,” he leaned forward and kissed your forehead, once again cooling the heat with a sweet gesture, “I promise I’ll make it up to you. When you’re sober and can feel every single thing I’m going to do to you.” 

His words sent bursts of electricity up your spine and your mouth opened slightly as you watched him throw you a smirk. “Goodnight sweet girl,” he said before grabbing his phone off the bed and heading out into the hall.

You laid completely still for a few minutes after he had left. Everything had changed, yet it really hadn’t. All that had happened was a conversation- a big one, but there was no sex, no solidifying act of passion. You were completely and utterly dissatisfied, but in the same breath, you felt light and full. I’ll be whatever you want me to be. 

It was 12:45 am and you knew Jen would be asleep, but you couldn’t help but shoot her a text.

You: So… I have a lot to catch you up on. Josh and I mayyyyy be a thing? Not sure. And remind me to stop drinking so this man will actually fuck me. Thanks, love youuuuu

And with that, you fell asleep, phone in hand and a smile on your face. 

___________________________________________________________

Your phone jolted you awake, the buzzing next to your head putting you into a momentary panic. “Hello,” you answered, still half-asleep and feeling the effects of a hangover. “Hey, I’m at your door. Can I come in?” You groaned and huffed as you rolled out of bed and made your way over to the door to swing it open before making your way back to the bed. 

“Well, good morning to you too,” Josh said. He handed you a to-go cup and sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. You took a sip and moaned as the chai settled into your stomach. Josh watched you, eyebrows raised. “Do you remember last night?” he asked as he took a sip from his own cup, likely filled with the same thing. 

“What about last night?” you asked, taking another sip and watching him over your cup. His face hardened and he did his anxious tell- he chewed ever so slightly on the middle portion of his lip. It was something you’d noticed he’d do right before he went on stage or before an important conversation. “What, like how you wouldn’t have sex with me? But you said you’d do anything I wanted?” you added, giving him a smirk. 

Josh sighed and rolled his eyes, clearly glad you were sober enough to remember the key points of the evening. “I said I’d ‘be’ anything you wanted,” he said as he lightly kicked at your leg with his foot. “Ahhhh, I think you may be right,” you said with a chuckle, watching his brown eyes sparkle as he laughed along with you, the tension gone. “Well, I came to tell you to get a swimsuit on and pack a bag- we are headed to the beach,” Josh said with a smile and you nodded before getting up and setting your cup on the side table. You went over to your suitcase and rummaged through your stuff, looking for your suit. 

Josh’s strong hands on your side made you jump slightly as he leaned in to press a kiss into your neck. “Wear something sexy,” he whispered and you chuckled. “We aren’t even dating and you’re telling me what to do,” you said with a laugh as you turned to put your arms over his shoulders. “Mmmmm, neither of us said anything for or against dating if I remember correctly,” he said before leaning in to kiss you. 

You both stood there for a moment before you heard a knock on your door. You pulled back, your eyes wide and Josh chuckled. “It’s probably Jake. And he knows,” he said as he turned and walked to the door. You grabbed your bikini and a change of clothes and headed to the bathroom to quickly change.

Even from behind the closed bathroom door, you could hear the twins’ conversation. “Is she almost ready? Ava said she wants to head out in about 5 minutes to stop at Walmart for beach stuff, drinks and snacks,” Jake said, his voice mellow. “Yeah, we’ll be there in a second,” Josh said and you heard the door close. 

There was a knock on the door and you opened it. Josh’s eyes widened as he took you in- you’d had enough time to change into your bikini but not much else. “So, five minutes?” you asked. Josh stood, completely zoned out for another few seconds before blinking twice and nodding. He walked past you and sat on the closed toilet and watched as you finished getting ready. 

“You’re something else, you know that, right?” Josh said as he ran a hand through his curls, loosening them slightly. You chuckled as you brushed your teeth and turned to face him, leaning against the bathroom counter. “Says the man who goes out on stage half-naked,” you said, shooting him a glance. He raised an eyebrow suggestively and you giggled. The sexual tension between the two of you was palpable, but you knew you didn’t have enough time to act on it.

Another knock on your door interrupted your thoughts and Josh quickly stood before pulling you in for a kiss. His hands rubbed up and down your back, clearly indicating he wanted to do so much more than just kiss you. “Guys, come the fuck on,” you heard Jake say from outside the door and you broke the kiss to giggle. “If we don’t get out there they’re gonna think we were doing something dirty,” Josh said with a chuckle and you pushed his chest lightly before turning and following him out of the bathroom. 

When Josh opened the door, you were met by the rest of the band, along with Ava and Olivia. They all stood there and watched as you both came out of your room and you turned to close the door. You and Josh both smiled as you were clearly inspected by the group. Jake gave Josh a smirk and nod before breaking the silence as he headed down the hall. “To the beach!” Jake exclaimed as he walked down the hall, holding a bottle of tequila above his head.

_________________________________________

It was a perfect day for the beach- slightly overcast, but warm with a slight breeze. The group set up camp with the cheap beach chairs and tent you’d gotten from Walmart. You and Josh were forbidden to leave the tent given your already sunburned status, and you were happy to comply as long as you got to be with Josh. He had tried to protest, saying he wanted to “ground himself in the sun,” but Emily had given him a look before plopping down nearby. “You will not be getting on that stage tomorrow any more red than you are today or it’ll be my neck,” she said before popping open the container of watermelon she’d purchased. She offered you a piece and you leaned forward to snag one before agreeing with her. “Your outfit is already red. Red with a slight tan looks good, but red with a sunburn is no good,” you added and Josh huffed before leaning back in his chair. 

Jake handed Josh a beer before picking up a frisbee they’d found in the dollar section. “Daniel?” Jake asked as he held up the frisbee. Danny nodded before following Jake out into a clear section of the beach. You could tell Olivia wanted to join by the way she perked up, but she had just laid out on her blanket with enough tanning oil to cook a couple chickens, so she settled down to watch instead. You turned and gave Josh a glance, which he returned with a knowing chuckle. Ava and Sam had gone on a walk to look for shells and you watched as they disappeared down the beach. 

It was a lovely afternoon of enjoying each other’s company and having some well-deserved time off to relax and recharge. You and Josh had sat together in comfortable silence, his hand reaching out and resting on top of yours occasionally when everyone was turned away and busy. You understood why he wanted to keep it quiet and knew it went without needing to be discussed. 

Emily interrupted the silence intermittently with questions and ponderings, mostly about her own twins that she was growing. “What if they come out and hate one another?” she had said while rubbing a hand over her small bump. “I don’t think that’s possible,” Josh mused quietly, his head resting back on his chair as he closed his eyes. He raised his head and looked out to where Jake and Sam were kicking a soccer ball with Ava and one of the techs that had come along. “There’s something about being connected from conception that makes you in-tune with one another. Platonic soul-mates,” Josh mused, a smile spreading across his face. 

Emily sighed and nodded before turning back to her phone. “What do you guys think of the name Ember?” she asked, you and Josh both groaning in response. Olivia turned to add her input. “I think it’s kinda cute,” she said, sitting up to reach for her water bottle. “Emily, Ember and-” Josh questioned and Emily scrunched her face as she thought. “Echo?” she asked and you and Josh grimaced, this time Olivia agreeing with you. “Sounds like something a Kardashian would use,” she said with a shake of her head. “Don’t you want to wait until you know what you’re having to decide on names?” Josh asked, taking another sip of the beer he’d been nursing for most of the afternoon. Emily made a face. “I guess you’re right,” she said with a sigh before setting her phone down on her lap. 

You stood up and stretched before reaching out to Josh. The sun was starting to set and you knew that meant you’d be allowed out from under the tent. “Come on,” you encouraged and he nodded before taking your hand and allowing you to lead him out to an open spot on the sand. You let go of him and twirled before stopping to sway and laughing before reaching out to him. “Come dance with me,” you said and he chuckled before nodding and taking you up on your offer. He swung you around effortlessly, both of you laughing as you talked each other through a few different dances you both knew. 

Josh pulled you close and wrapped his arms around your waist as the sun finally set, using the darkness to his advantage as pulled you in for a kiss. You swayed with him for a moment, enjoying the sounds of the ocean and the feeling of his heart beating against your chest. 

“Hey, guys, time to go” you heard Sam call from the tent and you both separated. It was dark, so you were sure nobody could really make the two of you out as you walked towards the tent, Josh holding your hand slightly behind him as he walked in front of you. Emily turned towards you with a flashlight before motioning towards your stuff. “Let’s get a move on,” she said, her voice tense. “What, are you scared of the dark Em?” Sam said as he walked up behind her to take her chair from her. “No, I am just ready for dinner,” she sniffed and the group laughed. 

Danny, Sam and Eddy, the tech, collapsed the tent under the watchful eye and direction of Emily. The walk back to the vans was quiet, everyone hungry and tired from the day on the water. Emily had made reservations for a local seafood restaurant and Sam was ecstatic. “Fresh seafood from the Atlantic? It can’t get better than that,” he enthused. “They better have chicken tenders because the thought of anything from the ocean,” Emily fake gagged and the van erupted in laughter. “You better sit far from me then Em, because I’m getting oysters,” Sam said, turning to give her a poke in the arm. You could barely make out her disgusted reaction in the streetlights, but it caused you to giggle again.

Sam stayed true to his word, and Emily took him up on the suggestion and sat at the other end of the table. You sat next to her, opting for fish tacos which you hoped were less offensive to her than the raw seafood being enjoyed at the other end of the table. “Nasty,” she said as she chewed on a fry and watched the others enjoy the various cold crustaceans. “Not going to disagree with you,” you said with a chuckle as you watched Josh turn to eat one of the oysters. You made a face before turning back to your own food.

“So,” Ava started from across from you. She pointed to you and Josh and you nodded in silent approval. Josh was busy arguing with Sam about something, so you gave her a big grin before putting a finger over your lips, signaling for her to keep it quiet. Emily missed the entire thing, finding her fries more interesting than you and Ava’s silent conversation. “Bathroom?” Ava asked and you nodded before getting up to follow her towards the back of the restaurant.

“So? Tell me everything!” Ava exclaimed the second you were out of earshot of the group. “Nothing much yet. We aren’t sure where we stand, but we are both really into each other. So, we will see,” you replied, your smile growing as you talked. “Thank god- I don’t know if I could’ve taken any more wistful glances Josh was throwing your way,” Ava said with a chuckle. “He was not,” you shot and she nodded. “Did you guys hook up yet?” Ava asked as you made your way into the bathroom. Ava waited for your answer as you checked your hair in the mirror. “Not yet. He didn’t want to because I wasn’t sober last night,” you whispered. Ava shot you a knowing glance. “Is that why you’re both more sober than the entire group?” she asked and you shrugged. She squealed in approval before pulling you back out into the restaurant. 

The rest of dinner was relatively peaceful, everyone settling into their exhaustion. Josh’s hand had found it’s way to your thigh, gently rubbing up and down as he talked with the group. Every so often, it’d get higher and higher, his hand finally squeezing your upper inner thigh. “So, shall we get the bill?” Josh asked and Jake turned to look for your waiter. 

Josh leaned over towards you, his curls tickling your ear. “Tonight?” he whispered before pulling back to look at you. You nodded and he moved his hand slightly higher on your thigh. “Perfect,” he replied quietly, the entire table somehow missing the electricity crackling between the two of you.

------------------------------------------------------

writer's note: just a gentle reminder that everything I write is completely and utterly fiction.

Who's excited for the slowest of slow burns to FINALLY ignite? Tell me honestly... did you see this one coming?

much love to my forever editor: @joshs-jonch

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

You woke up in pain. Your ankle hurt, your face was raw from crying, and your heart felt like it had been smashed with a sledgehammer. You rolled over in the bed and reached for your phone to check the time. 5:45 am. You opened your messages for an update but there wasn’t one since Jack’s 3:00 am text.

Jack: He’s out of surgery and stable for the night. Try to get some rest. I’ll let you guys know if anything changes.

Last night had been a blur. Danny had helped you move Albert to the floor after you’d found him unresponsive on the bus. You remember screaming for help, the surroundings eerily quiet despite there being thousands of people in and around the venue hours before. You had performed about 10 minutes of CPR while you waited for paramedics to arrive. You had barked orders, sending Sam back into the venue to find an AED as you continued compressions on Albert. Sam had apparently been frantic as he ran around the venue in search of the machine you requested, getting back to you when the paramedics had finally arrived. They had whisked Albert away in the ambulance and you had finally had the chance to break down, the exhaustion and heartbreak hitting you as soon as Albert was out of sight and his life was out of your hands. A few of you had loaded into one of the vans and headed to the hospital before being sent away. 

“It’s late. You can keep one person here for updates, but the rest of you need to trust the process and come back in the morning. He’s in great hands,” a nurse had explained when the group had arrived at the hospital. Jack took watch and echoed the nurse as he sent the rest of you back to the hotel to sleep.

You swung your feet over the side of the bed and made contact with something warm and solid. You yelped and lurched backwards onto the bed, quickly withdrawing your feet. 

“It’s just me!” Josh exclaimed, his figure materializing as he sat up on the floor. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to kick you. I didn’t realize you were down there” you said as you slid forward. He reached out to gently pat your leg. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I scared you,” he said softly, his hand lingering on your calf for a moment. “So, I’m going to go get changed and then do you want to go ahead and go to the hospital? See what’s up? I can always go by myself though,” he said and you shook your head before realizing he couldn’t see you. “No, I’m good! I’ll get up and get ready and meet you out in the hall in a minute,” you said. He squeezed your shoulder before finding his way to the door, the light streaming through as he went out into the hall.

You flopped back against the bed. There’s no way anything happened, he was on the floor for Christ’s sake after we were at the hospital. You pieced together the night as you got up and started getting ready. It had been you, Jack, Josh, Dean, the other driver, and Damion, Jack’s assistant, that had taken the van to the hospital. Jack had offered to stay at the hospital and take the first shift of sending updates to the group, you and Josh had both offering to come back first thing in the morning. 

It was all starting to make sense- Jake had been asleep and you and Josh would be getting up together anyways, so he just crashed on your floor. Right?

You set the irrational worries aside and finished getting ready, meeting Josh in the hallway. “I got us an Uber, it should be here in a minute,” he said as he led you towards the elevator. You rode down in silence, both of you exhausted physically and mentally.

 The Uber driver had greeted the two of you before turning onto the main road. Josh had reached across the seat to place his hand over yours, giving you a weak smile. “He’s going to be okay,” Josh said quietly and you nodded, tears starting to well in your eyes as you remembered how scared you had been last night, how scared you were for Albert.

The radio switched over to Safari Song, taking you and Josh both by surprise. You both chuckled and Josh leaned forward to ask the driver if he could possibly switch the station. “Sure! You don’t like rock?” the driver asked. You couldn’t contain your laughter as Josh shook his head. “I’m not the biggest fan of that band. Their singer is a washed up Robert Plant wannabe,” he said, giving you a smirk. “Really? I had no idea,” the driver responded as he switched the channel to country. Josh grimaced, but shrugged with acceptance as he sat back into his seat, his hand still placed gently over yours. 

You and Josh followed Jack’s directions to the wing where Albert was. You had subconsciously reached for Josh’s hand as you walked through the corridors, your anxiety ramping up. He wrapped his hand around yours, providing instant comfort as you rounded the corner to the waiting room. 

Jack was slumped in a chair, his laptop teetering on the edge of his lap as he snored softly. You reached forward to take the laptop from him and he woke up, straightening himself quickly before realizing it was just you and Josh. “Oh, good, I’m glad you’re here! There’s been no news since 3 am, but I was going to go inquire when you guys got here. Let me go ask real quick,” Jack said as he stood and made his way to the nurse’s station across the hall. 

You and Josh watched as Jack talked with a nurse- the same one that had sent the group back to rest. “She told us to go home and rest, but she’s still here,” you whispered to Josh, who had been flipping through a magazine. “Yeah, but she gets paid,” Josh said with a definitive nod before turning back to his magazine. 

Jack walked back to you, rubbing his face with his hands. “So, good news is that there’s no news,” he said as he sat in a chair across from you and Josh. “That’s good?” you asked and Jack nodded. “He’s still unconscious. They’re waiting for his family to get here so they can have them make a decision about which additional surgery they would like to have done. As of right now though, he’s doing really well. They just want to be ahead of the curve and make sure this doesn’t happen again.” 

You nodded. “What did they say even happened?” you asked. “Oh,” Jack said, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe he hadn’t told you. “Heart attack. And then they found an aneurism near his heart when they went in to fix the heart attack issue. So now they’re dealing with that,” Jack said. “I don’t understand all of it but,” he took his laptop from you, “I have been in communication with his family and they’re on their way. And Emily is going to meet you in Florida. She’s been cleared for travel. And the transport company sent out a new driver for you,” Jack pointed to you, “so you guys should be good to head to Florida as soon as everyone is awake!” 

You sat there for a minute, taking everything in. Jack noticed your sadness and laid a gentle hand on your knee. “I know it’s hard, but we have to keep going. His prognosis is good, his family is going to be here soon, things are rolling,” Jack said and you nodded. “No, you’re right. We have a lot of people counting on us, counting on you,” you gestured to Josh, who nodded. You could tell he didn’t want to go, but was being strong for you. “Alright, well, are you staying?” he asked Jack, who nodded. “Emily will be landing in Tampa about the time you get there and will hit the ground running. I’ll meet you guys down there once Albert is on the mend and his family is here and settled. They should be here this afternoon.” 

“So,” Jack said, standing, “I’m going to send you both to go get some coffee, something to eat, and then go rally the troops. We will get through this.” You nodded, barely able to stand before Jack pulled you in for a hug. “I know you and Albert were close. I’ll make sure he knows you were here, okay?” Jack whispered and you nodded into his shoulder, begging for the tears gathering in your eyes not to fall. “Josh, you’re okay?” Jack asked, turning to him. Josh nodded and gave him a smile. “Yeah, just ready for Albert to be out of the woods. I’ve grown to quite like the geezer,” Josh said with a chuckle.

You and Josh went to the hospital cafe to get something while you waited for your Uber back to the hotel. Both of you got chai’s and chocolate chip muffins before heading out the front doors of the hospital. “I really wanted to at least get to see him,” you said quietly as you picked at your muffin. “I know,” Josh replied, taking a sip of his tea. “He knows how much you love him though, and you can tell him yourself when you see him next.” 

The drive back to the hotel was a little lighter, you and Josh discussing different ideas for the outfits he wanted to wear in Europe. He discussed themes he wanted to represent and you nodded, taking notes on your phone as he talked. You loved the way his mind worked- his thoughts were fleeting, yet they all connected in one giant web. You were lucky that you were able to speak his language, having the ability to pick out the specifics of what he wanted from the ramblings he sometimes went on.

When you pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, you had three or four solid ideas for outfit sets- all four of the guys matching to a certain degree in theme, although each set would be unique. You and Josh thanked your driver and Josh ensured the tip went through before heading into the hotel. 

You were surprised to see most of the group sitting in the lobby when you walked through the doors. Everyone had their stuff packed and in-hand. “What’s going on?” you asked Ava as she walked forward to hand you your bags. “I packed your stuff up, hope that’s okay. Jack called and filled us in and the drivers are saying we need to leave now due to a storm that’s heading towards the coast. They don’t want to get stuck in it because it could delay us getting to Tampa. And the semis with the stage stuff are already en route, so they need us to follow suit,” Ava explained. You nodded and Josh turned to take his luggage from Jake, who had come to stand next to you. 

“I’m going to ride with you,” Jake said under his breath. You turned and gave him a questioning look and he took a deep breath before continuing. “I was talking to Dean and he said that the driver they were able to send down to take Albert’s place is… an interesting one. Dean doesn’t like him or trust him. Dean tried to get this other guy to switch rigs so that he could drive you, but the guy refused. He’s apparently kinda slimy, so we don’t want you to be alone with him. I just don’t have a great feeling,” Jake said quietly, you and Josh leaning in to listen. “I’ll ride too,” Josh said with a nod. “I’m better at hand-to-hand combat anyways,” Josh added as he took another sip of his tea, causing Jake to chuckle. “Whatever you say,” Jake said with a smirk as he patted Josh’s chest. 

You instantly understood what Jake had been saying when you met Andy. He had reached out to take your hand, squeezing it a little too tightly, when he had met you as you boarded the bus. 

‘They didn’t tell me I’d be driving for a knockout,” he said, his toothy grin reminding you a bit too much of a shark. Luckily they warned me I’d be driving with a weirdo. “Oh, well, thanks,” you said as you tried to remove your hand from his grasp. “And what is it you do?” he asked, leaning closer to you. If you had taken a second to actually walk through the bus, I’m sure it would be pretty clear you skeeve. “I do the costuming and wardrobe for the band,” you answered with a smile, ready to be left alone. 

Josh, sensing your discomfort, reached forward to take Andy’s hand as he introduced himself. “I’m Josh,” he said, hitting Andy with his megawatt smile. “And you do what?” Andy said flatly, clearly immune to Josh’s charm. “Singer! Frontman! Face of the band if you will,” Josh joked. Andy withdrew his hand and nodded. “Very cool,” Andy added, clearly not thinking it was very cool. “Are you all riding on here? I thought it was usually just the little lady. At least that’s what the itinerary says,” Andy asked. “Oh, yeah, we take turns riding and doing fittings. Helps keep things running smoothly. She has a lot of work to do, incredibly talented this one,” Jake said quickly with a pat to your shoulder. “And she’s great company!” Danny added as he scooted past the group and walked down toward the back of the bus. “Ah, right. Well, settle in and we will get on our way shortly,” Andy said before returning to his seat.

The group collectively exchanged glances when you had all taken your spots in your usual seats. The clear consensus, even without words, was that Andy was not liked. “Where’s Sam?” Jake asked. “He wanted to sleep until lunch. He was tossing and turning last night- I think it really threw him for a loop not knowing what to do,” Danny answered with a sigh. 

“I’m glad one of us knew what to do,” Jake added, turning to give you a smile. “You were a badass last night. Really and truly,” Jake complimented you, leaning forward to pat your knee. You gave him a tight smile, tears welling in your eyes. “Yeah, the paramedics said if you hadn’t stepped in and done CPR, he may not have made it. You should be really proud of yourself,” Danny added. “It was a group effort,” you replied, remembering how Danny had helped you maneuver Albert to the floor, Jake had called for help and Josh had watched from beside you, frozen with fear, but getting you anything you requested and helping count your compressions. 

The group was quiet as the bus merged onto the highway. “Well,” you said before standing, “is anyone up for a fitting? May as well get something done and working will help clear my mind while we wait for an update.” Danny was the first one to stand, following behind you towards the closet to help you pull out the outfits for Florida. 

You had decided on red as the color for Florida. Something about it just seemed fitting. You laid out the outfits on the table, directing Danny on where to put the various pieces. Jake stood and started to help, rearranging things as you pointed them out. Eventually, you had the items laid out by member. 

Jake instantly fell in love with the boots you’d picked for him. They were chelsea boots, of course, and were two-toned with different red stains on the leather. “Any chance I could keep these?” Jake asked and you shrugged. “We bought everything outright, so I don’t see why not. We will probably use them a few more times, but after the tour, I’m sure you can have them.” 

Danny turned to you. “You bought everything? I thought a lot of it was rented usually?” he asked. You nodded, “it can be. But I do a lot of thrifting and know a lot of people in high fashion who either want to get rid of old inventory or want their designs used. So, it works out. I do the same thing with the fabric- a lot of it is castoffs, thrifted, that kinda stuff.” Jake shook his head, “you’re pretty brilliant, you know that?” 

You shrugged and lifted up Sam’s suit jacket to use as an example. “Like this? Tom Ford from a few seasons ago. I took apart the panels, altered the measurements, added embroidery and crystals, and made it into this,” you explained as you turned the suit jacket around to show off the red accents you’d painstakingly applied. “And these,” you placed the jacket down and picked up a pair of satin-type bright red pants, “are recreating some, according to fans, iconic pants Sam wore before. They’re actually made out of a material Jen used as a backdrop for photographing one of her collections. It just worked out perfectly.” 

“I knew you were a genius, but not to this caliber,” Jake said, shaking his head. “Hey, when you hired me, you said you liked to stay as green as possible. I took that to heart,” you replied. Danny shook his head in amazement as he looked over his outfit. “Yeah, definitely let me know if the bicep area needs to be changed. I made it looser than your measurements but I can always adjust,” you instructed as you showed Danny the area you were talking about. “Lace can be tricky to work with, but it can be adjusted. This was actually from a wedding veil and I dyed it this color of red,” you explained. You turned to show Josh his jumpsuit and realized he was fast asleep on the bench, snoring softly. Jake chuckled at the sight. “He really can fall asleep anywhere. I feel like the two of you have that in common,” Jake said. 

Jake turned to look at you. “Did he keep you up last night?” You froze at the question, your body instantly tensing. “I mean, that uh, I hope he didn’t snore. Because, you know… he snores really loud sometimes? And uh…” Jake spoke more quickly than usual, trying to explain what he meant. “He told me he crashed on your floor when you got back from the hospital. To uh, not wake me up. And because you guys told Jack you’d be back first thing in the morning,” Jake finished, nodding with satisfaction at his cover. “Oh, yeah, he was fine! I totally forgot he was there and stepped right on him in the morning,” you replied with a chuckle. There, now they know he was not IN my bed and therefore we didn’t sleep together. Sexually or otherwise. Even though I have no doubts he would’ve told them either way. 

Josh rolled over, grunting suddenly. “I don’t fucking snore. And stop the interrogation Jacob or I’ll find the energy to beat your ass,” Josh hissed, his threat empty. Jake laughed and shook his head, “whatever boss.” 

Danny had been watching and listening as he changed, his face hard. “You okay? How does it fit?” you asked with a smile, hoping to break through the tension in his eyes. “Yeah, great,” he said, giving you his signature smile that melted your heart every time. “The sleeves are perfect actually, I think you got the measurements perfect,” Danny said as he moved his arms around, testing the range of motion. “Perfect. Is it too tight here?” you asked as you moved and hovered your hands just above the collar of the shirt. “No, you can check it though,” he said, nodding to give you permission. You slid your hands between the fabric and the warm skin of his neck, pulling to check the give of the fabric. “Yeah, I used a fabric with more give, and that feels perfect,” you said, removing your hands and nodding. “Perfect,” he echoed before moving to the other side of you to begin changing back into his street clothes. 

“How’s this look?” Jake asked, twirling to show you his outfit. “Stunning. How does it feel?” you asked as you walked over to assess the final fit of the jacket. “Good. I love this cut,” Jake said, gesturing to the ¾ sleeves and deep v cut on the front of the suit. “It’s really flattering on you, really accentuates your chest and the coin necklace of course,” you said with a smile as you pointed to the necklace he always wore. 

Jake smiled and dropped his head shyly. “Yeah, I may need more coverage on the jackets during the next leg though,” he said quietly. “We can always change the cut if you want, that’s no problem. What is it you don’t like?” you asked. “I uh… people have just been saying things,” he whispered as he took the jacket off and put his button down back on. “Saying what?” you gently prodded. 

“They’ve been utterly disgusting online,” Danny said, walking back from the bathroom. “Saying what?” you asked again. Jake took a deep breath and rubbed his forehead with his hand. “They’re I’ve gained weight, gotten fatter. It’s only a few people, but,” he said softly, his voice flat. You scoffed at him and looked from him to Danny, who was nodding to affirm that Jake was telling the truth. 

“You’re kidding, right?” you asked and Jake shook his head. You hated how deflated he was, how crushed his confidence seemed. “Jake, I will do whatever you want, make any change you desire. But I will only do it if it’s what YOU want and what YOU are comfortable with,” you said, leaning forward to place a hand on his. “I’ll tell you right now, you are not fat. Far from it. This cut looks fantastic on you, absolutely screams sex appeal. And I don’t say that lightly,” you said, getting a chuckle out of him. “See, I seem to recall a whole lot of comments you showed me the other day about wanting to lick the sweat off your stomach, so, clearly there’s more appreciators than haters,” Danny said with a laugh. “Daniel, I showed you that in confidence,” Jake replied, giving him a smirk.

“Listen, I have heard my fair share of comments when I’ve ventured out into the venue, and I can confirm- the hearthrob vendetta is alive and well. People love what you wear and what you show off because it’s you. I believe that people should be more enthralled with your talent rather than your body, but I can confirm that people are obsessed with you for both reasons,” you added, tapping his leg with your foot for dramatic effect. 

Jake turned to smirk at you as he raised an eyebrow “did you say people are obsessed with me?” You rolled your eyes and took the jacket from his hands, turning to hang it back up. “Don’t flatter yourself too much. I’ve heard enough nasty comments about all four of you to horrify me for decades,” you said with a laugh as you reflected on the various things you’d heard people whisper to each other when they thought nobody could hear, their intoxicated minds speaking freely. 

“Oh, we’ve seen it,” Danny said with a chuckle as he leaned back on the bench across from you. “And heard it,” Josh croaked from his spot laid out on the other bench. “Oh, true! Josh’s in-ear picks up feed from a mic that faces the pit. The shit he’s heard is so disturbing it’s funny” Danny added, giggling as he likely reflected on various comments he’d heard. 

“Don’t remind me of barricade granny,” Josh said with a groan before rolling over. “Oh shit, barricade granny!” Danny said, doubling over as he laughed even harder. Jake rolled his eyes and shook his head before explaining. “There was this lady, probably what, like in her 60’s? 70’s?” he asked and Danny nodded as he gasped for air. “She was making the most disgusting comments, like, holy shit it was insane. Screaming them too, loud enough to hear clearly. And then she flashed Josh when he walked towards her. Absolutely no fucking shame, that woman,” Jake said, laughing to himself as he reflected. 

“That’s… horrifying,” you said, your eyes wide. “Yeah, but it was hilarious too,” Danny said, wiping tears from his eyes. “Imagine being that worked up over this guy,” Danny said, pointing to Josh, “in a sparkly jumpsuit. She probably thought you were fucking Elvis or something.” 

“Well,” you said as you worked to hang the outfits up, “I hope to never see a pair of granny titties. That’s all I got.” Danny started laughing again and Jake grimaced. Josh rolled back over. “They actually weren’t bad. I think they were fake. But still, the principle made me turn around real quick. Don’t need to be staring at someone’s grammy’s rack. Jesus,” he said with a chuckle. 

“Does that happen often?” you asked. “What? Get flashed by grandmas?” Danny asked with a chuckle. “Just in general,” you added and Jake shrugged. “Sometimes. People online really started to tear them apart over it, you know, consent and all that,” Jake replied. “I, sadly, can’t really see from where I am. I know I’ve seen my fair share of boobs popping out when we used to watch people run to barricade though,” Danny added. “Oh, yeah, that’s true. We used to watch people come in for general admission and they’d be so concerned with fighting for a spot, you’d just see everything flying. We don’t watch anymore because it’s turned into a bloodbath. A little disappointing to see,” Jake added. 

“Who would’ve thought that you guys would be rockstars, hmm?” you said, both Danny and Jake smiling. “I knew he’d make it big,” Danny said, gesturing to Jake. “And that he’d become something. I thought he’d be more of a filmmaker, some big shot director. But that will be his next move I think,” Danny added, pointing at Josh, who was back to snoring in the corner. 

“Yeah, what’s next for you guys?” you asked, pulling a panel for one of Josh’s future jumpsuits out of your drawer. You began applying the embellishments by hand, checking your pattern as you went. “Not sure. Probably another album, work on it slowly,” Jake said, clearly in thought. “I think Josh wants to focus more on film endeavors, so the three of us may work on the musical portion of the next album while he does that. I don’t think we will tour for a while. It’s been a whirlwind and Emily is begging us to take a break. Something about longevity or something,” Jake said, waving the thought away with his hand. 

“I have a few friends with bands that I want to help out. Do some producing and mixing, that kind of stuff,” Danny added. “Yeah, Sam wants to work with some other bands too. Just kind of go slow for a little bit,” Jake added. “That sounds lovely,” you replied with a smile. You couldn’t imagine doing tour after tour with no real end in sight. 

“What about you?” Danny asked. “Oh, I’m on my way to having a waitlist longer than I can even imagine. A lot of smaller bands want to work with me, which I love. I really and truly do this for the art, not the money, so I probably will take a break and do some smaller projects. I know Jen has been requested to come work with some brands in Japan for a bit, so I may join her there and act as her assistant. But, honestly? After all this travel? I think home is going to be nice for a while.” 

The three of you talked for a while, discussing all sorts of topics. When the bus pulled into the gas station, it shocked all of you that you’d already made it over the line into Florida. Jake woke Josh up with a gentle tap and you made your way off the bus. “Ugh, we are definitely in Florida,” Josh said with a grunt as you stepped off of the bus. Luckily Andy was on the other side of the bus, refilling the gas tank. “What do you mean by that?” you asked Josh with a chuckle. “It is humid. My hair is gonna hate this,” Josh replied gruffly as he ran a hand over his curls, still clearly working on waking up. 

Sam was already inside, ordering his lunch from the Subway inside the gas station. “Ah, look who made it,” he said with a smile. “You’re clearly rested,” Josh said as he poked at his little brother. Sam stuck his tongue out at Josh, who lurched to smack it. “I swear we were in the presence of toddlers,” Danny said with a sigh, Jake chuckling in agreement. Everyone ordered their sandwiches and headed back towards the buses. Sam and Josh decided to ride with you, both as a protective measure (Andy was still not trustworthy, according to Jake) and so they could do their final fittings. Jake and Danny rode in their bus, excited to nap after lunch. 

“Please make him sleep after you fit him,” Jake said, pointing at his twin before giving you a look. “I will make sure he sleeps,” you agreed, Jake nodding with approval. When you climbed back onto the bus, Andy was sitting at your desk, flipping through your sketchbook. “Oh, you’re back!” he said as he jumped up, closing the book quickly as he struggled to hide what he had been doing. 

“What are you doing back here?” Josh barked, clearly irritated. “Oh, I was just waiting for you guys to get back,” Andy said, running a hand through his thinning hair. “Well, we are back now and ready to go,” Sam added, his tone sharp, but not rude. Andy nodded and started to walk past the three of you but Josh stopped him as he tried to scoot past. “I suggest you stay out of things that aren’t yours,” Josh hissed. Andy nodded and continued to move past the group.

“That was weird,” Sam whispered, echoing what you were all likely thinking. You went over to your desk and picked up your sketchbook, moving it back to the shelf where it had been before you’d left the bus. “I’ll make sure he never sets foot on another bus if he so much as glances at you wrong,” Josh said to you before he took a bite of his sandwich. “If he is being this nosey, who knows what he has or will do,” Josh added as he chewed. 

“Easy killer,” Sam said with a chuckle. “I’m sure he was just looking around,” you said as you unwrapped your sandwich. “There isn’t anything in here that’s really secretive. I mean, besides the designs for the rest of the tour. But even that isn’t like a national security issue,” you said with a shrug. “It’s the principle,” Josh said quietly. “I don’t like him either Josh, but we will keep an eye on him,” Sam said as he ripped open his bag of chips, sending crumbs flying across the table. Josh rolled his eyes, but said nothing. “Jesus, you really do need a nap,” Sam said as he cleaned the table with a napkin, “or to get laid.”

Josh smacked his hand on the table, causing you to jump. The look he was giving Sam was lethal. “Shut up Samuel,” he hissed and Sam raised his hands in defense. “What? You know I’m right,” Sam replied. “Look, we can find you a nice girl in Florida. Pull out your old Tinder account and give it a tune-up. You don’t even have to have sex, just a blowjob, okay? It’ll fix you right up,” Sam said with a laugh, clearly enjoying tormenting his older brother. 

“Don’t be fucking vile, Sam,” Josh spat, his face reflecting utter rage. “Okay, okay, sorry,” Sam said, chuckling to himself as he turned back to his sandwich. You felt Josh’s eyes on you, but you refused to acknowledge the conversation, your eyes trained on your phone instead. “Well? Fucking apologize for being so vulgar, Samuel,” Josh barked. “Oh, uh, sorry. I was just joking,” Sam said, his eyes never leaving the table. “That was a shit apology,” Josh chastised before taking a bite of his sandwich, signaling he was done with the conversation. 

The three of you ate in silence for a moment before you decided to try to cool things off. “So, I’m really excited about this jumpsuit for you Josh. I pulled some inspiration from the costumes they use in ice skating competitions. I think the necklines and cutouts are really quite cool and I’m excited to maybe venture into more of that with your stuff,” you said with a smile, testing the waters. 

Josh looked up at you, his face calm and eyes warm. He gestured to the jumpsuit, which had been hung up on the wall. “I love it. I think it’s really interesting and adds some contrast. I know you had shown me some concepts a while back, and I think this was one of the ones I was especially excited about,” he said, returning your smile. 

“I see I’m bringing those red pants back,” Sam said, his mouth full as he turned to gesture towards his outfit. “Yes, there were many requests for their return,” you said with a chuckle. “Probably because my ass rivals his in them,” Sam said, giving Josh a gentle shove. Josh took it well and chuckled, shaking his head. “You wish,” Josh added, giving him an eyebrow wiggle. 

“Well, you may have me beat there. And in having your entire dick and balls out in front of everyone,” Sam added with a laugh. You rolled your eyes at that comment and pointed at Sam. “I’ve been working hard to ensure things stay concealed on this tour, okay? We are going for tight, but in all the right places,” you added with a laugh. “It’s okay to be jealous, Sam,” Josh said with another laugh and Sam flipped him off. “If you wanna talk length, I think-” Sam started, but Josh’s look shut him up instantly. “Again, quit with the vulgar shit Sam,” Josh shot and Sam nodded, returning to his sandwich. 

After lunch, they both tried on their ensembles, both sets of clothes fitting perfectly. “Another set without needing adjustments. I think I’m really getting the hang of your measurements and preferences,” you said as you helped Sam out of his suit jacket. “And my ass looks good?” Sam asked, turning and popping his butt out towards you. “Stunning,” you replied with a laugh. You were glad things seemed to be good between the two of you, especially after such a rocky start to the tour. 

Josh had been standing in front of the mirror, running his hands along the various cutouts on his jumpsuit. It was low-cut and had organic cutouts on the front, giving the piece movement along his chest. “I think this part hits perfectly and you don’t even need to wear any jewelry with it because it’s got an interesting neckline,” you said as you traced your finger along the top of the jumpsuit bodice. Josh tensed and you instantly removed your hand, realizing you had crossed a line. “You’re fine,” he whispered before clearing his throat and heading towards the back of the bus to change back into his street clothes. 

“Can you make me some cool underwear? Is that in your job description?” Sam asked and you turned to be met with him standing in his boxer briefs, gesturing to the sides. “I want something more fun because these are so boring,” he said with a sigh before pulling his pants on. You couldn’t help but laugh- the man had no filter sometimes. “Like when I bring a girl home and she sees these?” he said, gesturing to the plain pattern before zipping his pants up, “boring, right? But if it was like, I don’t know, Greta Van Fleet logos or something, now THAT would be sick.” You shook your head and held your hands up. “I’ll see what I can do Sam.” Josh came back into the work area and gently hung his jumpsuit up in the closet. “What do you think, Josh? Matching Greta Van Fleet underwear?” you said with a laugh. He shrugged and returned to his spot on the bench. “I bet we could sell those as merch and they’d do okay,” he said with a grin.

You ended up heading back to the bunks and taking a nap for the rest of the drive. Josh took the top bunk, telling you to wake him up if he snored. “You haven’t bothered me yet. I sleep like the dead, as you should know by now,” you added before rolling into your own bunk and drawing the curtains closed. You laid there for a minute, painfully aware of how close you both were. You thought about getting out of your bunk, crawling up into his and laying next to him, the heat from his body lulling you to sleep. Nope, we are professionals. And he doesn’t see me like that. One drunken kiss should not be enough to keep me in this spiral. Despite your desperate pleas with your brain, you fell asleep thinking of the man laying above you, with only a few inches of plastic keeping you separated. 

___________________________________________

“Wake up beyotches, we are hereeeee!” Sam’s voice carried, even through the thick curtain surrounding your bunk. You flipped your curtain open and were met with Sam in all his excited glory. “You better get up! It’s time for dinner! And Emily is back! Come on!” He said, slapping at Josh’s curtain before bouncing down the hall. 

Josh groaned and popped his head out of his bunk. “Is it really 7:30?” he asked and you gasped before checking your phone. “Shit, it is. I can’t believe I slept this long,” you replied. “We slept this long. I think we needed it though,” he said as he slid out of the bunk, his feet landing with a soft thud on the floor of the bus. You lifted yourself out of your bunk, sliding your shoes back on. 

“Latest update is that Albert is awake and doing well. They have his second surgery scheduled for tomorrow,” Josh said, looking up to give you a smile. “That is fantastic news,” you replied with a sigh. Before you could say anything else, Josh had grabbed you in a hug and was holding you tightly against his chest. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, the shock wearing off and giving way to comfort. Both of you stood like that for a moment, Josh taking a deep breath before squeezing you once more and pulling away. He held onto your shoulder for a moment as he looked at you. 

You gave him a smile and patted his hands with yours. “I’m so glad he’s going to pull through. I know he still has another surgery,” you started as you bent to find your purse and pull on a sweatshirt, “but I’m really glad things are finally looking up.” Josh nodded and put his phone in his pocket. “Shall we?” he asked, pointing towards the front of the bus. “We shall,” you said with a chuckle as you stuck your arm through his and pulled him along down the hall of the bus.

Andy was sitting in the driver's seat and watched as you and Josh headed towards the stairs. “If you guys ever need the bus to yourselves, just let me know,” Andy said with a wink. Josh stiffened and turned to confront him, but you pulled him towards the door. “No need, but thanks for the assumption. See you later,” you said before jumping down the last few stairs into the parking lot. “Fucking prick,” Josh cursed under his breath and you turned to look at him. “Ignore him. He’s a weird perv, we’ve already established that,” you said with a shrug. Josh just nodded and you both headed towards where the group was congregating outside a local Italian restaurant. 

Emily saw you first and walked towards you quickly, throwing her arms around you. “Oh I missed you,” she said. “I’m glad you’re back,” you replied, giving her a gentle squeeze. You pulled back and ghosted your hands by her belly, careful not to actually touch her. “How’s the peanut?” you asked. 

Emily placed her hands on yours, guiding them gently to rest on her belly. “Actually it’s peanuts,” she said with a huge grin. Your mouth fell open in shock. “Twins?!” you exclaimed and she nodded enthusiastically. “No way!” Josh said from beside you, reaching around to give Emily a gentle side hug. “And further along than I suspected. I’m actually 13 weeks today,” she said with another huge grin. “Emily, congratulations! Are you so excited?” you asked. “Yes. And terrified. But I’ve seen how twins can work out and I fully expect them to pop out with some talent after being around you two,” she said to Josh as she gestured towards him and Jake, who was leaning against the side of the building. 

The three of you chatted for a few more minutes before the group headed in, a table finally ready for a group your size. Emily insisted you sit next to her and fill her in on everything she missed. Josh took the spot on your other side, a comforting familiarity to the constant chaos. 

You spent the meal catching Emily up on everything that she’d missed and she showed the table pictures of her babies- little white squiggles swimming in a black abyss on the ultrasound printouts. “I think they’re going to be girls, but Jared thinks it’s going to be one of each- a boy and a girl,” Emily said. “Why not two boys?” Jake asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because I do not wish to speak that into existence. I’ve talked to your dear mother enough to know that twin boys are more than a handful,” Emily replied, pointing her finger at Jake and Josh. Josh held his hands up defensively. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We,” he gestured from himself to Jake and back again, “were great. it was that one,” he pointed at Sammy, “that gave her the most trouble.” 

Sam looked up from his pasta, clearly lost in the conversation. “What? What’d I do?” he said. ”Enough. You did enough to drive mom mad,” Jake said with a chuckle as he sipped his wine. Sam shrugged. “Probably. Everyone knows that it’s the job of the youngest to cause chaos,” he added matter-of-factly. Everyone chimed in, sharing their own thoughts about birth order. You sat back and listened- being an only child you didn’t have much to contribute, but you loved to hear everyone recount their childhoods, no matter how chaotic and messy they were. 

You wondered how you got so lucky. This was truly the chance of a lifetime- designing centerpiece stage costumes for a star power band, surrounded by a group of talented individuals who wanted nothing more than to see you all collectively excel. Something about the journey you were on had you feeling extra nostalgic. 

As soon as you were checked into your hotel room, you decided to call Jen. She was working on a short project in California, so you used the time change to your advantage. 

“Hey, let me step outside real quick,” Jen said, barely audible over the loud music reverberating through the phone. You turned down your volume and waited for the background music to fade. “Okay, I’m here,” Jen said with a sigh. “Where are you?” you asked, sure the answer would be entertaining to some degree. “Some night club. You’d hate it. I almost do- it’s a bit too loud, even for me. But I hit it off with a few of the models and they wanted to show me how they party in LA. It’s got nothing on New York, I can tell you that,” Jen said smugly. She filled you in on her latest projects, getting some of your input on a few ideas she had before turning things over to you, 

“How’s teen beat land?” You rolled your eyes before taking defense. “They’re not teens, and they’re more talented than any stupid pre-teen magazine pop band,” you said. Jen laughed on the other end, making you smile. “So which one are you in love with?” Jen asked. “Wait, no, let me guess. I think there was a moment with the curly-headed tall one, but the lanky one kissed you… but you like the short one? With the goatee thing? And you kissed that one too,” Jen threw out, her descriptions making you giggle. “You’re on the nose,” you replied.

You filled Jen in on everything that had been happening. “I don’t think there’s really anything there, I think we are just always working together and he’s friendly,” you said, concluding with your position on Josh. Jen sighed loudly, making her feelings clear. “I think that you’re both into each other, especially after what Danny said. That you’re made for each other? You and Josh? One of his closest friends saying that has to mean something,” Jen pointed out. “I guess you’re right. It does hold weight,” you replied. “I think you guys should just have sex and see what happens. If it sucks, no hard feelings. If it's great, keep him on the backburner and have some fun during this stretch of time,” Jen proposed. “Look, I don’t think either of us are those kinds of people, okay? I’m just going to continue to feel things out, see where they go, remain professional,” you rebutted. “Whatever makes you happy. But if you guys end up married with five kids, remember that I said to just go for it. Okay?” Jen added. “Deal.”

You could’ve talked to Jen for another hour, filling her in about the drama with fans and Albert. You’d texted her the night Albert went to the hospital and she had been checking in for updates periodically. She knew he meant a lot to you, and therefore he meant a lot to her. “Look, I need to get back in there before they realize I’m missing and call me out for being a pussy. Hang in there and let me know how things go,” Jen said before giving you a final goodbye before hanging up.  

You heard a knock on the door and went to check who it was. You were surprised, but not shocked, to see Josh at your door. You opened it and he gave you a smile. “Sorry, I know it’s late, but Emily wanted to make sure you knew that we needed to get to the venue early again tomorrow. They’re expecting the same rigamarole with the GA line and wristbands or whatever and they want to ensure there aren’t any issues. They’re doing some sort of new lottery system or something, I have no idea.” He paused, looking you over for a beat before continuing. “They want us rolling out at 9:00. I guess that’s important to convey,” he said with a chuckle. He is nervous… why? 

You looked down and surveyed your pajamas, realizing you were in an oversized tee shirt, a pair of underwear hidden under the draping fabric. You moved further behind the door and smiled, trying to ignore your poor choice of wardrobe to greet your late night caller. “Thanks! I’ll see you in the morning!” you said quickly before giving him a final smile and closing the door. 

You watched through the peephole, your curiosity getting the best of you. Josh took in a deep breath and ran a hand through his loose curls before nodding and turning to head back in the direction of the twins’ room. 

That could’ve been a text. A text from Emily nonetheless. Or Ava could’ve just woken me up in the morning. What the hell was that?

__________________________________________

Your alarm went off at 8:30, eliciting a groan that rattled your soul. You checked your phone before getting up.

Danny: Jake and I walked across the street to the coffee shop, do you want a chai?

You: Yes please! 

You headed to the bathroom to start getting ready for the day and heard your phone buzz again. 

Danny: In return… Can you please ensure Josh and Sam get down on time? 

You: I guess…

Danny: Alright, there will be a muffin with your name on it too then! Thanks! 

You got ready quickly and were headed out the door by 8:45. You stopped by Sam’s room first, knocking a few times. He opened the door quickly, his face reflecting how tired he was. “Hey!” he greeted, surprisingly chipper for it being so early. “Good morning! I see that you’re alive and well. Can I trust you to be out of here and on the bus by 9:00 or do I need to pull you along with me as I go check on your brother?” you asked, giving him an eyebrow raise. He rolled his eyes, giving you your sassy answer. “Go get the diva up. I’m actually ready today,” Sam responded, gesturing down the hall quickly before turning and closing the door. 

It took Josh an extra moment to open his door, and he answered still clearly half-asleep. “Are you the wakeup crew?” he asked groggily. “I believe that I am,” you said as you walked past him and took a seat on the far bed. “And you have about ten minutes until I’m dragging you downstairs to the bus, ready or not,” you added.

“There’s lot’s that can be done in ten minutes,” Josh said under his breath. “What?” you asked even though you had clearly heard him. He cleared his throat as he pulled on a pair of pants over his boxer briefs.  “I’ll be ready well before ten minutes,” he said, much louder this time. “Well good. Because I’ll have a chai waiting on me upon your delivery to the bus, so the faster we can get there, the better,” you added with a smirk. 

He disappeared into the bathroom and reemerged a moment later, a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth as he picked a shirt out from his suitcase. He looked so… real and domestic standing there in front of you- casually brushing his teeth, his curls loose and wild and his skin still pink and warm from sleep. This Josh was worlds away from the one you clothed in elaborate costumes before he went onstage to entertain thousands of adoring fans.

He was ready within five minutes and you headed down to the bus. He was quiet, but turned to you once you were on the elevator. “Ava said you’re going to watch the show tonight. The whole thing for the first time. Is that true?” he asked. “I’ve seen the show before- there are screens backstage and I’ve caught glimpses when I’ve gone to concessions. But yeah, I think Ava wants me to actually sit and watch the show from seats, at least once. Not that I’d ever complain,” you replied. He gave you a smile, “I think you’ll really enjoy it. It’s different seeing it live and in front of you, seeing and experiencing the crowd. Compared to on the screens backstage, of course,” he added and you nodded. 

“Look who made it,” Danny said as you and Josh loaded onto the bus. “And…” Jake checked his watch, “with two minutes to spare! And you beat Sam.” Danny handed you a cup with your name printed on the side. “Your prize,” he said with a wink as he also passed you a bag that contained a blueberry muffin. “Thanks,” you said before moving to your spot at the table. Josh gave Jake a dirty look and Jake shot his hands up in defense. “Yours is at your seat, dear prince,” Jake said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. 

Sam stumbled onto the bus at 9:02, Emily right behind him. “Well, now that we have everyone,” she said, backing up and giving Sam a dirty look as he took a seat and took his coffee from Danny, “we will get on our way. See you guys there.” You all waved as Emily headed back off the bus. “She doesn’t want to ride with us? We are so much fun though,” Sam said with a chuckle. “Coffee is one of the smells that’s making her sick,” Danny said before taking a sip of his coffee. Everyone turned to look at him, collectively wondering how he, of all people, knew this. “What? I asked her if she wanted a coffee and she said she would, and I quote, ‘throw up everywhere if I got a coffee within three feet of her.’ So, that may be why.” 

“If I am ever that sick when pregnant, I just simply won’t leave my bed,” you said absentmindedly as you tore off a piece of your muffin. “You want kids?” Sam asked casually. “Oh, for sure. But that’s so far away, I can’t even think about it,” you said, waving your hand at the thought. You looked up to see Sam and Josh exchanging glances. Again, probably nothing. “What about you guys?” you asked. 

Danny chimed in first. “I guess I want kids, I dunno.” “Yeah, I think we are all on the fence about it except for Josh,” Sam added. “Josh was made to be a dad. I think the rest of us have cool uncle potential,” Jake added with a chuckle. “That’s not true! You like kids!” Josh replied, pointing at Sam. “Yeah, but there’s a difference between liking and doing well with kids and wanting them. Like, that’s forever,” Sam replied, shaking his head. “Well, yeah. I’d hope it’d be forever,” Josh said, giving him a face. “Being responsible for a human is a big undertaking, so it’s good to make sure it’s really what you want,” you added. Josh nodded, “huge, but also the greatest honor.” 

The conversation was ended abruptly by the sound of screams from outside the bus. You locked eyes with Josh, who motioned for you to come sit next to him on the bench on the side opposite the screaming. “Here, come sit,” he said quietly and you nodded. You sat and felt Josh put a protective arm around you, applying light pressure to help ground you. Jake and Sam went to the window on the opposite side, peering out between the blinds covering the glass. Danny alternated between keeping an eye on you and watching Jake and Sam. 

“Yeah, they aren’t even that close. We’ll be fine,” Jake said before turning around and plopping back down on the bench. Sam remained glued to the window, watching the ongoings outside. “Breathe,” Josh whispered in your ear and you realized you’d been holding your breath. You exhaled and took a sip of your tea before giving him a slight smile. “I’m okay,” you said quietly. Josh nodded, “I know. Just don’t want any panic, especially because we are fine.” Josh paused before raising his voice slightly to continue, “right Sammy? Are we okay?” 

Sam was quiet for a moment before answering. “Yeah, we are entering the gates now. They got closer, but venue security is keeping them back. It actually looks like there’s a group of fans pushing people back too, which is interesting,” Sam replied. “Yeah, I saw that some people were going after the fans that came up to the bus. Calling them out for inappropriate and unsafe behavior, that kind of stuff. I think a lot of them were pissed about it actually,” Jake added as he finished his bagel. “That’s good to hear. Some humanity left,” Josh said with a chuckle.

The bus came to a stop and Andy appeared from the front of the bus. “Well, we are in! Let me know if you guys need anything,” he said before winking at you. Sam faked a gag after Andy had walked away, laughing at himself. “It’s not funny. He’s utterly creepy,” Jake shot at Sam. Sam shrugged, “maybe, but I have a feeling he’s harmless. Just kinda gross.” Danny stood and shook his head, “well, we aren’t going to find out if he’s harmful or not because she won’t be on the bus alone with him, right?” The group nodded in agreement. “Alright, so show us what needs to be brought in so that you don’t have to come back out,” Danny added, motioning towards the closet. “I’ll get it with some venue staff, don’t worry. Let’s just go get settled,” you said as you stood. “No, I don’t trust them either. Between us, we can get it all,” Jake said, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he moved towards the closet. 

You complied, and showed them what needed to go into the venue. Andy, of course, had comments when you all walked past him, clothing in tow. “I didn’t think the talent usually moves their own wardrobe,” he said with a snicker as he worked on filling out his log book. “Yeah, well, we’re not like most talent,” Jake shot back, his tone cold and serious. “I know that,” Andy said, giving you a once over before returning to his log. Danny nudged you and you headed down the stairs after Sam. “Disgusting,” Jake muttered under his breath. “Still think he’s harmless?” Josh asked Sam, who shook his head. 

_____________________________________________________

Time moved slowly when you got to a venue early and had to wait for call time. The group often got into shenanigans when they had to wait more than a few hours, Sam usually the ring leader. Today, he had decided to commandeer one of the security Segways and ride up and down the halls at break-neck speed, doing all sorts of quick maneuvers and turns.

“I fear you’re going to make me go into premature labor,” Emily had said to him as he drove past where Ava and Emily had been sitting with you. “Why?” Sam asked, pausing only for a moment before doing a few spins. “The sheer amount of stress you put me under cannot be helpful for a developing fetus, let alone two,” Emily added, raising an eyebrow at Sam. He laughed and took off down the hall, nearly running Danny over in the process. Danny ran after him, trying to pull him off of the Segway as they both laughed.

Jake stuck his head out of his dressing room, guitar in hand as he looked on with confusion. He turned to give the three of you a shrug before disappearing back into his room, the sounds of an acoustic guitar flowing freely through the air moments later. 

Everyone reconvened for lunch, and later in the evening, dinner. “What’s the setlist looking like?” you asked as you sat down next to Sam, who was looking over some notes he’d scribbled on a piece of paper. “Normal setlist for tonight. But Jake wanted to rework part of this,” he pointed to a scribble on the paper. “ to include some new stuff we are working on. I can’t seem to get it worked in,” he said, sighing in exasperation. 

“Just do the bridge music for the new song, it’s not that big of a deal Sam,” Jake said between bites of his sandwich. “Yeah, it is Jake, because it doesn’t go,” Sam said, looking over the table to shoot daggers at his brother. “Look, it seems to go really well with Cadence, why don’t we swap out the bridges? Or just tease the new stuff at the end of the bridge? Hm?” Danny said, taking a sip of his drink while he waited for an answer. You looked at Josh, who just shrugged. 

“Why do you guys want to do some new stuff?” you asked, genuinely curious. “Because someone thinks we always need to be three steps ahead even though some of us have to play and arrange the parts on how many different instruments? Hmm?” Sam shot at Jake. “You’re welcome to take guitar for a show. I’d love to see it,” Jake said quietly. “See, that’s not really funny, because you know I could do it. If the roles were reversed though? That’d be a sight to see,” Sam spat back. 

The air in the room grew thick with tension as the two faced off. “Well, in that case, put me on the drums I guess. Daniel, you’ve been working on your range, do you think you can hit a C7?” Josh said before chuckling. “You two are being ridiculous. Just play the normal set and we can figure it out on the road tomorrow. If you really want to do something spectacular, we can do the Highway and Safari mashup,” Josh added before finishing his drink and standing. Both Jake and Sam nodded. 

“Time to get ready,” Josh said before giving the group a wave as he headed towards his dressing room. “He’s getting ready late tonight. It’s already,” Sam checked his phone, “5:30. He only has a little over 3 hours to sit in his jumpsuit and do nothing.” You rolled your eyes but also stood and threw away your trash before following behind him. 

You pulled Josh’s costume off the rack in the hall and headed towards his dressing room. The door was slightly ajar but you still knocked before entering. “Hey,” he said with a soft smile as you entered, heading over to hang the jumpsuit on one of the hooks on the far wall. “Care to join me for a drink?” Josh asked, motioning towards where he’d turned on his electric kettle and started to make his pre-show concoction of alcohol, tea and honey. “Yeah, but not that,” you said with a chuckle before pulling a hard seltzer out of the room’s mini fridge. 

You took a seat in one of the push chairs near where he was mixing his drink. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” he said, handing you his cup to try. You took a tentative sip and instantly made a face. “Josh, that’s straight whiskey and hot water with a hint of lemon. Putrid,” you said before taking a deep sip from your can. “Okay, but it works! I never have a sore throat, my voice is never scratchy,” Josh rambled as he walked over to his jumpsuit. 

“I love the red,” he said as he gently ran his hands over the night’s outfit. “How are you going to change it for the next show?” he asked. “Removing the sleeves,” you said matter-of-factly. “If you’re lucky, I may add some crystals. We will see how generous I’m feeling. Danny’s getting a new neckline and losing his sleeves, so I may have my work cut out for me. Sam is getting a wing and Jake is getting some more crystals. Both of those changes should be simple enough,” you said before waving your hand. “It doesn’t matter though.” 

Josh turned to look at you, his face hardened. “It does. Your work is really important. That’s why we specifically made sure to hire an incredibly talented designer to come along with us. We wanted our outfits to tell a story, to be an entire portion of our production. And that’s what you’ve done,” he replied. “No, I know,” you corrected, “I just don’t need to bore you with the details. You’ll see it when it’s all done, after all.” 

Josh walked over and leaned forward to level with you. He smelled sweet, like a mix of the honey and alcohol he’d been sipping on. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know,” he said quietly, goosebumps raising on your arms. “Yeah, you’re right,” you said as you leaned back, taking another sip of your drink. 

Ava popped her head into the dressing room, giving you a bright smile. “You’re still on to join me in the seats, right?” she asked and you nodded. “Okay, I’ll come find you before they go on and we can go find a spot in the reserved seats,” Ava said before giving you a wave and heading down the hall. 

Josh chuckled and shook his head after she had left. “What?” you asked. “Nothing,” Josh said before getting up and heading back over to carefully remove the jumpsuit from the hanger, turning to lay it out on a table. “Any surprises I need to be aware of putting this on?” Josh asked and you rolled your eyes. “You literally had it on the other day, Josh. It’s reinforced, so it’s not like it’ll combust once you put it on,” you said with a chuckle. “I know that, I just… it looks so delicate,” he said, pointing out the open panels in the jumpsuit which were held together by a mesh material. “It’s basically an ice skating costume, Josh. It’s flexible. It’s fine, I promise,” you said as you stood and walked over to the table. 

You flexed and pulled on the see-through fabric, twisting it to show him the durability. “Okay, okay, point take,” he said before taking the fabric from you and placing it back on the table before pulling his shirt off. “Please tell me you have the right underwear on,” you said, giving him a knowing look before taking another sip of your drink. “You know I never do,” he said with a grin. “Which is why I’ll finish changing in the bathroom.”

He disappeared behind the bathroom door and you laughed to yourself. You, Josh Kiszka, certainly haven’t left much to the imagination. You thought back to those first few meetings with the band when you went over general ideas and thoughts for wardrobe. “Please make it so Josh’s dick isn’t as prominent,” Jake had said before pointing to the printouts of previous costumes you’d set out on the table in your studio. “Like? Really? No more white, please, for the love of god. I cannot see another tweet about Josh’s massive horse dong,” Jake added, rubbing his face with his hands. “Look, I haven’t seen a single complaint,” Josh replied, throwing both of his hands up. Danny shot him a look, Sam pulling out his phone from his pocket. “I bet I can find one in thirty seconds or less,” Sam said as he opened his phone and began typing. “Okay, more groin coverage, I got it,” you had said, the group agreeing at varying levels. 

And now here he stood- the same man from those meetings, yet so much had changed. The second he stepped out from behind the bathroom door, your heartbeat altered, your chest squeezing at the sight of him. The red material draped over his body, each cutout perfectly placed and each crystal catching the light at the perfect angle. He was breathtaking, even in the shitty dressing room lighting. 

He looked up from where he’d been adjusting the strap over his collarbone. “That good, huh?” he asked with a sly grin. You swallowed hard, putting the world back into focus. “I think this one may be my best yet,” you replied. He walked over to assess himself in the full-length mirror near the door. “Yeah, I’d second that statement,” he said before turning and giving you a big grin. “And you get to see it on stage. How exciting is that?” 

Ava came back into the dressing room, stopping mid-sentence when she saw Josh. “Oh yeah, that’s one for the books for sure,” she said and Josh did a little twirl, showing her the entire jumpsuit. Ava turned to you, “Sam wanted me to see if you still had that pair of slip on black loafers? He wants to wear shoes for some reason, so I told him I’d ask you.” You stood, putting your drink down on the coffee table. “Yeah, I have them on the bus. Let me go grab them,” you said before giving Josh another smile and heading towards the back lot. 

The backlot was quiet, everyone caught up in pre-show preparations. You hurried back to the bus and put in the combination before opening the door and heading back to the closet. It was a bit of a disorganized mess, but you were able to find the pair of shoes Sam had requested quickly. 

“Well… hello gorgeous,” you heard a voice behind you croak. You rose instantly, pressing your back against the clothes in the closet as you spun. Your hand found your chest as you took a deep breath. “Oh, Andy, you scared me,” you said with a chuckle as you tried to dissipate the alarm bells sounding in your head. “I was hoping maybe we would have a moment alone together,” Andy said.

-------------------------------------------------------

writer's note: just a gentle reminder that everything I write is completely and utterly fiction

much love to my forever editor: @joshs-jonch

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

Another day, another alarm. You smacked at your phone until you hit the screen just perfect enough to stop the blaring alarm. Stretching, you reached to grab the lifeline you’d just assaulted.

It was 8:01 am and you cursed Sam in your head. The man wanted nothing to do with early mornings until it had to do with seeing zoo animals the second the zoo opened.

You moved quickly through your morning routine, making it down to breakfast in record time. Danny, Josh, and Jake were sitting at a table, sipping on their caffeinated beverages and eating from what they’d gotten from the buffet. Jake was the first to see you and smiled in response, gesturing to the seat between him and Josh. 

“Good morning!” Danny greeted as you set your stuff down at your seat. “What’s good?” you asked, pointing towards their plates. “Well, Sam is on his third stack of pancakes, so those are a safe bet. Bagels are good, eggs are… hotel eggs,” Jake answered with a chuckle. “Coffee is?” you asked and Danny shot you a face that told you all you needed to know. “I have an extra packet of chai if you want it,” Josh offered. “I think I’ll take you up on that, thanks,” you responded before heading to get something to eat.

Sam was standing and watching the pancake machine intently when you rounded the wall of the buffet. “Good morning, Sammy,” you said and he jumped, startled from the world he was off in. “It certainly is!” he replied with a big smile. You both turned to watch the pancake slide off the conveyor belt and onto the plate. “These are so freaking cool,” he said as he grabbed his stack of pancakes and a packet of syrup before heading back to the table.

You decided on a bagel with cream cheese and some eggs. While hotel eggs were despised by many, they were your guilty pleasure. You carried your cup of hot water and your food carefully as you walked back to the table. You set your cup down and Josh reached for it, popping the lid off and ripping open the packet of chai before carefully emptying it into the cup, using a stirrer to mix it. He did it passively- an act so simple, yet it spoke volumes to you. You took a bite of your bagel as you watched him carefully replace the lid, ensuring it was on completely before sliding it towards you. Everyone was watching him, suddenly quiet. “Sorry, uh, there you go,” Josh said quietly before taking a sip out of his own cup. “Thanks, Josh,” you replied casually, hoping everyone would move on. He’s just being nice… it doesn’t mean a thing.

You all chatted as you ate, everyone excited for the day to come. Jack showed up around 9:00, Damion on his trail. “Good morning everyone!” he said as he took a seat next to Sam. “Looks like they’re going to keep Em for another day, she had another fainting episode this morning. We will need to discuss what that means for us, but for right now I’m going to take over her duties and Damion will work more on the venue stuff for now. That being said,” Jack paused to sip his coffee. “We have a group of about fifteen of us going to the zoo, and I told everyone to be ready at 9:30. Sound good?” he asked. Everyone nodded in agreement.

Everyone finished up and met outside the front of the hotel at 9:30. Albert pulled up in one of the passenger vans, smiling at you as he came around the side to open the doors. “This is a little small, don’t you think,” you joked, and Albert laughed in response. You headed to the back row and slid into the middle seat. Outside the van, the group was figuring out who would sit where. “I can’t sit in the back, or I’ll get carsick,” Sam grumbled. Jake rolled his eyes but pointed his younger brother towards the front seat. Albert had gotten back into the driver’s seat and shot you a wink from the rearview mirror.  

Jake whispered something and Josh nodded, climbing into the van. “Can I sit with you?” Josh asked. “Of course!” you replied, patting the seat next to you. He slid past you and took the seat next to the far window. Way to sell it a little hard. Ava climbed into the back and took a seat on the other side of you.

Danny sat in the row in front of you, Olivia plopping down beside him. You chuckled to yourself as you saw Danny slide over to give her more room, her response being to slide even closer. Jake sat in the single seat by the window and two techs sat in the front row. “Everyone ready?” Albert asked, the group agreeing enthusiastically in unison.

The drive to the zoo was filled with chatter as everyone enthused about the day off. Olivia talked nonstop to Danny, telling him about all the ideas she had for TikTok’s she wanted to make at the zoo, occasionally turning to Jake and back to Josh to get their approval. “I want a panda in a TikTok!” Sam replied from the front seat, turning around only long enough to yell back his request. Olivia waved him off and turned back to Danny, continuing to tell him about some trend. You and Jake exchanged glances- it was going to be a long day for poor Danny.

Josh had his notebook open on his lap and was scribbling furiously. “What are you working on?” you quietly inquired, careful not to disturb his peace too much. “Ah, just scribbling some ponderings. Something about Georgia just gives me a creative spark. We actually finished the last two albums in Savannah, this town on the coast. It’s really gorgeous.” Josh wandered off, deep in thought as the scenery passed by the van window. You left him to his thoughts and turned to talk to Ava, who was pulling up a map of the zoo on her phone and looking into the different animals and plants you’d be able to see.  

When the group arrived, everyone clambered off to be met by security and a few workers from the zoo. That was something you never could really get used to- the constant hovering of various personnel, fans, workers, absolutely everyone. It made you claustrophobic more than you cared to admit.  

You felt a hand reach out to squeeze yours lightly. You snapped out of your spiral to see Josh looking at you, clearly concerned. He moved closer to you, hiding his hand holding onto yours behind your bodies.

“You okay? Where’d you go?” he whispered, his tone reflecting his worry. You shook your head and smiled before replying. “I’m good, promise. It’s just a lot of people. I don’t know how you guys ever get used to it. You’d think I’d be more used to it now on week three, but I think I’m a ways off.” He nodded and squeezed your hand before releasing it as the workers called to him by name. He took a moment to smile and wave to them before turning back to you. “You never really get used to it. You just learn to adapt,” he said quietly before gesturing to let you walk in front of him towards the entrance. 

As soon as the group entered the zoo, Sam made a beeline for the flamingos. Ava was right behind him, pointing out something in the water as she and Sam leaned against the fence to get a better view. “Birds of a feather, quite literally,” Josh joked and you nodded in agreement as you watched them point and mumble back and forth. The group joined them at the fence, listening to the staff acting as guides as they explained different things about the flock of birds. 

The group made its way along the walkway, Sam talking to one of the staff about the trees they passed and Ava adding her input every so often. Danny walked along with Jake and some of the techs, Olivia right in stride with him. You and Josh hung in the back of the group, taking your time to people-watch as you walked. 

Josh always had some sort of insight about the people you saw and you’d add your analysis based on what they were wearing. Josh gestured towards a man who was pushing a stroller with one hand, his phone in the other. “My guess is that he works a 9-5, and is trying to find a sense of normalcy. Or, given his attachment to his phone, he’s a gambler,” Josh surveyed. You chuckled before you sized up the man’s outfit and added your input. “He’s wearing a $400 pair of Satisfy athleisure pants. The man is C-suite at a major company or he’s in tech, guaranteed,” you said, gesturing to the tag on the front of his pants. “Can’t wait to see what else we figure out on this trip,” Josh said with a chuckle. 

You knew he was referring to the people-watching, but something about his tone made your stomach flutter. 

The group reached the carousel and you listened to one of your guides talk about the intricate designs and how each animal included in the design was from an endangered species. Olivia rushed to the front of the group and waved her arms excitedly. “We need to get some footage of you guys on the carousel, it’s absolute gold!” she announced, pointing to Jake, Danny, Josh and Sam. 

After the people riding finished their turn, the group made their way onto the carousel. Olivia started to instruct the guys on where to sit and how to pose, sucking the fun out of the environment. Sam waved her off and picked a giraffe to ride, easily jumping onto the wooden figure. Danny chose the cat next to Sam, climbing up and fastening the safety belt around him. Jake took the manatee figure next to Danny, making a joke about manatees and pirates. Josh took the last animal in the row, a cheetah, and took a few swings of his leg to hoist himself up onto the animal. You watched and chuckled at his struggle, which was still somehow incredibly graceful. 

You took a seat backwards on a gorilla in the next row, wanting to watch the action. As the carousel started, Olivia struggled to stay balanced. You looked over at Ava, both of you rolling your eyes as Olivia darted around, taking videos and pictures. She was nothing if not dedicated.

Once the carousel came to a stop, Olivia ushered the band over to a line of panda figures where they gathered for a picture. Sam was clearly thrilled about the pandas, turning to ask the staff various questions about the pandas you would all see later that day. Olivia ushered for the group to continue on before falling back into place beside Danny. Josh walked back towards you and both of you chuckled over Olivia’s behavior. 

“How was that cheetah ride? Smooth and speedy?” you asked Josh, kicking yourself over how lame it sounded. He went along with you and nodded. “Not as wild as I imagine riding a gorilla backwards would be,” he shot back, matching your energy. You both laughed as you followed behind the group towards the next attraction. 

You could hear the goats at the petting zoo bleating from down the walkway and you laughed at the sound. “Sounds like Josh in the early days,” Jake shot at his twin, who promptly gave him the middle finger. 

The staff handed out treats and instructed everyone on how to feed the animals. Sam walked around, asking the names of the animals and making ones up on the spot for those without a “proper name.” Olivia snapped a few pictures of Josh making a face with a goat as it bleated, a sight that had you giggling for a few moments. You found Danny in a corner of the enclosure, throwing the treats for the animals that were crowding around him. 

“Danny, are you okay?” you asked when he eventually threw the cup of treats onto the ground and away from him. “Yeah, they just, uh, get really close,” he said, tentatively petting a goat that had taken an interest in Danny’s pocket. “They’re a little pushy, but I really don’t think they’ll do any damage,” you replied, pushing the goat away from him. Danny nodded and reached to pick up his empty cup and a brush from the ground. He put the empty cup in his pocket and shook the dirt off of the brush before walking over to a small gray goat. Danny extended his hand and let the goat sniff it before he slowly started to brush the goat, which stood quietly. 

Satisfied that Danny was okay, you turned to find Jake. You found him trying to pull the hem of his shirt out of a goat’s mouth, one of the workers helping to keep the shirt from ripping. The whole scene was incredibly comical, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you watched. Olivia stood nearby, not offering help, but filming the entire incident. 

Sam was in another corner, petting the alpacas as he talked to Ava, taking a page from his oldest brother’s book as he gestured wildly. You looked for Josh and spotted him leaning against the fence, watching the group. You walked over to join him.

“Not a petting zoo fan?” you asked as you observed the rest of the group interacting with the animals in various capacities. “No, I am, I just appreciate animals on a less physical level. I prefer to watch. What about you?” he asked. “I grew up helping on my uncle’s farm and he raised goats, so I’ve had my share for a lifetime,” you replied with a chuckle, watching as Danny slowly backed away from the goat he had been brushing and approached another. 

Josh turned to look you up and down in a comical way. “Our seamstress worked on a farm?” he asked, his tone picking fun in a good-natured way. You went along with it. “Yes! The goats were actually my first models! They say once you can fit a goat in a sequin gown, you can do almost anything.” Josh laughed at the thought and turned back to you. “How’d you get started? For real?” 

You thought for a moment, not sure where to start. “When I was little, I was more interested in making clothes for my dolls than playing with them. My grandma sewed, so she let me use some of her scraps, a bent needle and some thread to make outfits. I got my first sewing machine when I was 13 and from there I was hooked. The other elements- sketching, mixed media, some photography- all of that came in college. Being in a truly creative and open environment helped me grow into who I am now.” 

Josh listened intently and nodded as you talked. “I can’t believe you got your first sewing machine at 13. And, a few short years later and you’re sewing for a semi-famous band?” he mused. “It’s been more than a few years, and I’d consider you guys a famous band, don’t discount yourself,” you replied and he nodded.  “Either way, it’s truly incredible. You’re beyond talented to be able to do what you do and have the reputation you have at your age,” he said quietly. 

You couldn’t help but blush- praise from one of the greatest vocalists of your generation was of the highest degree. “You say that like we aren’t, what, four years apart?” you shot back and he chuckled, shrugging. “Still impressive,” was his answer. 

The guides rounded the group up and ushered you to a hand-washing station. After everyone had washed their hands, the group walked to the on-site cafe for lunch.

Danny sat at the end of the table and gave you a glance, silently asking you to sit next to him. You obliged and sat in the spot next to him, beating Olivia to the punch. Josh sat on your other side, making some comment about the ceiling as he sat down. He was always observing something, leaving no dull moments whenever you were together. Sam sat across from you and shot you finger guns, making you laugh. You were glad he was relaxing into his more goofy, apparently usual self.

The group took turns going up to the counter to order. You decided to take a chance on the veggie burger, adding cheese and hoping for the best. You returned to the table and sat, placing your number on the table in front of you. “What’d you get?” Josh asked as he slid back into his spot next to you. 

“Veggie burger and this,” you pointed to your cup, “is lemonade.” He pointed to your drink and you nodded. He took a sip and made a face, making you laugh. “What’s wrong with it?” you asked and he shook his head, quickly taking a sip of his water. You tried the lemonade and also made a face, the tartness hitting you. “Whew, that is tart!” you said as your face involuntarily puckered. “You got that right,” Josh said with a grimace, handing you his water to clear your mouth. “I guess I’m getting something else,” you said as you rose from the table and headed back to the drink fountain.

Olivia was putting the lid on her drink when you walked up next to her. She gave you a pressed smile and you returned it with a genuine one. “I can’t wait to see what you end up posting!” you said and she nodded as she took a sip of her drink. “I think we’ve struck gold,” she said, gesturing to the zoo. “The fans are gonna absolutely eat it up,” she said with a wistful sigh. You nodded and turned to rinse out your cup. You decided on sweet tea and luckily tasted it before leaving the station. It was far too sweet, so you finally settled on a mix of sweet and unsweet tea. 

“What’d you settle on?” Josh asked as you sat back down. “Tea, half and half- half sweet, half unsweet. They weren’t kidding when they said they do sweet different down here in the south,” you said with a chuckle. Josh pointed to your cup and you nodded. He took a tentative sip and nodded. “That’s perfect, but I fear straight sweet would’ve knocked my molars out,” he said and you laughed in agreement. 

Everyone’s food started to arrive and the table fell hushed with sounds of everyone turning their attention to their meals. Sam had also gotten a veggie burger and did a cheers motion to your burger with his, making you giggle. Olivia spent the entire meal showing Ava different things on her phone as she edited and prepared various photos, reels and TikToks. You really were excited to see the content she came up with for the day and couldn’t wait to read the comments- the band’s fans always seemed to have something odd or entertaining to say. 

Once everyone had finished eating, the group headed towards the star exhibit- the pandas. Sam’s excitement was palpable, his eagerness impacting the entire group as everyone looked in wonder as you entered the exhibit. 

The moment you saw the pandas, you were completely enamored. “So, this is Yang Yang,” one of the staff explained, pointing to the bear sitting on the floor of the enclosure, eating bamboo. “And that,” the staff continued, pointing up at a large panda sitting on top of a fixture in the middle of the enclosure, “is Lun Lun. She’s our female and Yang Yang is her mate.” You walked up closer to the glass, watching Yang Yang’s ears flop as he chewed. He glanced up at the group of people now watching him and surveyed you. “I feel like he’s judging us,” Jake said from his spot next to you. 

The group continued to watch the pandas as the staff talked, Sam interjecting questions every so often. You walked to the outside portion of the enclosure and saw two pandas eating bamboo next to an outdoor enclosure. “And those are our twins, Ya Lun and Xi Lun. They’re the only panda twins in the United States!” one of the staff enthused. 

You turned to see Josh and Jake looking at each other, both of them beaming. You were sure it must be difficult at times to be a twin, but you were sure that the connection that Jake and Josh had made the experiences they were living through that much more special. Josh reached out to pull Jake into his side, squeezing him tightly as they walked up closer to the fence. “Well, that one looks more plump, so that is definitely you, dear brother,” Josh said with a chuckle. “Well, the other one looks more overly dramatic, so that would check out,” Jake replied, digging his finger under Josh’s ribs, causing him to lurch forward. 

The staff member seemed confused so you turned to fill her in. “They’re twins,” you said quietly, gesturing to Jake and Josh. Danny had come up to the twins, who were getting his opinions on which panda twin was each of them. Danny held up his hands with a shrug, clearly knowing his answer wouldn’t be correct. 

A large group entered the exhibit and swarmed towards Sam, who was still in the indoor portion of the exhibit. “Oh god,” you said quietly, a sudden surge of anxiety flooding over you. The group was asking for pictures and autographs, Sam happy to fulfill the requests. Sam always seemed to get a kick out of being famous, the attention sometimes getting to his head, although he remained courteous and sweet with each interaction. 

Danny chuckled and shook his head, “looks like we’ve been found. Only a matter of seconds before they spot us out here.” Jake chuckled and cracked his knuckles before reclining against the fence, turning to watch the group. Josh looked over and placed a hand on your arm. 

“You okay?” Josh asked quietly, moving to stand in front of you and effectively blocking your view of the growing crowd. “Yeah, that’s just a lot of people,” you said, clearing your throat before running a hand absentmindedly over your hair. Josh looked from you to Jake, who nodded towards the exit of the exhibit.

“Why don’t we take a walk ahead? They can catch up with us in a bit,” Josh said, running his hand down to squeeze your hand gently. You nodded and turned to head towards the exit. Josh placed a protective hand on your back for a second before removing it and letting it hover, clearly not trying to overstep any boundaries. 

You and Josh walked in silence, following the path to the next set of exhibits. Josh pointed to a stand on the path. “Are those Icee’s?” you asked, following his finger towards the signs. “Yeah,” Josh said, a large grin on his face. “Oh man, those are my favorite! We have to get one,” you said, Josh enthusiastically agreeing. 

You ordered your drinks before walking over to a bench overlooking the otter exhibit. You watched the animals glide through the water, playing and interacting in such an unbothered manner. “I wonder if humans can ever truly be that carefree,” you wondered aloud, gesturing towards the animals with your cup. 

Josh thought for a moment before answering. “I think they can, it’s all about who they’re with and what they’re doing.” You nodded in agreement, leaning back against the fence behind the bench. “Like, for instance,” Josh said, taking another sip before continuing, “I’m pretty care-free right now. I don’t think I have the capability of swimming like that, but I'm pretty close. I’m content. And I feel like that’s what they are.” 

Your heart fluttered at his explanation. He’s content? With me? Here? You forced yourself to focus. “Yeah, thanks for walking away with me. That was just…” you trailed off. “It’s a lot. It always is, always will be. I’ve gotten more used to it, but I don’t feed off of it like Sam seems to. And don’t let Jake fool you, he loves the recognition. Me? I like to have meaningful conversations, get to know people. But I feel like that’s gotten really hard to do. Everything is about the photos and the videos, seeing who can get the most out of an interaction,” Josh sighed, leaning back as he shook his cup. “I love it, I really do… but I’m about ready for something a little different. Slower.” 

Listening to him talk, you could understand it. Everyone seemed to know that, despite Josh being the frontman, the band was Jake’s passion and dream. “So, what are you thinking?” you asked, interested to see what his answer would be. “I’d like to get more into film, creativity in that realm. Music videos, short films, that kind of thing,” he answered and you responded with a nod. “And I’m going to be 30. Everyone our age seems to be married and settled. I think I’d like that. Live the domestic life.” 

You were a little shocked about that admission. The rest of the group seemed intent on continuing the lifestyle for as long as possible. You could see Jake wanting to settle down at some point, but you had figured his passion and dream would keep him out for a while longer. “You act like the second you turn 30, you’re going to turn to dust,” you said with a laugh. He shrugged before returning the question to you. “What about you? What are your plans?”

You took a beat for some reflection before answering. “Well, I’ll be 25 this year, so I’m not close enough to 30 to panic just yet,” you joked, Josh rolling his eyes in response. “I don’t know. I’m content with where I am. I enjoy living with Jen, I think we have a good thing going. She’s likely going to be single forever- she has the cool wine aunt vibes for sure,” you added with a chuckle. 

“What about you? Do you want kids? Or are you another cool wine aunt?” Josh asked, clearly trying not to pry but obviously curious. “Oh, I do. Maybe I’ll be married when I’m 30-something and then have a few kids. I just promised myself I wouldn’t let anything take away from my passion for design and fashion. I have a good thing going and I’d hate to sell myself short,” you answered honestly. 

Josh nodded and watched you as you talked, listening carefully. “I think that’s a good rule to have. Put yourself first, take note of what you need and live for that truth. I think that’s really important,” Josh replied, finishing his Icee and turning to toss it into a nearby trash can. He missed and laughed at himself before reaching his hand out for your empty cup and standing to retrieve his from the ground. He tossed both cups into the trash and came back to settle into the bench next to you. 

You spent the next few minutes chatting about the vision for the future shows and outfits for those, as well as plans to recycle some of the looks you’d already made. Josh had started to tell you about how Hard Rock had approached him about displaying a few of his jumpsuits in their various locations when you heard Sam.

“I found them! Over here!” Sam shouted. You looked around for him, hearing him well before seeing him. He walked over to you, an atrocious bucket hat placed on his head. He showed you a stuffed panda he had picked out for his dog, Rose, and enthused about the animals you’d missed seeing. “I’m more interested in this,” you said, rocking onto your toes to tap the hat. “Oh this? Gorgeous, right? I knew you’d be into that,” he said, turning to model the hat which was plastered in panda drawings. “It certainly is a choice, that’s for sure,” you said with a chuckle. 

The rest of the group made their way towards you. The group of fans were nowhere in sight, but a few extra security guards had joined the posse and stood guard on the outskirts of the group. 

Danny came and put a hand on your shoulder. “You good?” he asked with a smile that told you that he’d been worried. “Yeah! Sad we missed the… what did you say we missed, Sam?” you asked. “Snakes! And naked mole rats! They were great! They’re having a contest to name a few of them, you’ll never guess the name I put in,” Sam said, a sly grin growing on his face. 

You threw out a couple of obscure names before Sam gave his answer. “Josh was obviously my choice. They looked just like you, man,” he said, poking fun at his oldest brother. Josh rolled his eyes, pushing his hip into Sam, who was laughing like he had told the joke of the century. 

“And that,” Olivia said, coming closer to you, “made for a great Tiktok! Something about the possibility of a rat named Josh is just… golden. I think Danny’s suggestion of ‘Greta’ was better though, it would really promote the band and get the zoo some traffic. They’re smart if that’s what they choose.”

You nodded, listening to Olivia as she rambled on as the group headed towards the next exhibit. Sam saw a sign for beer and made a beeline towards the stand. Everyone followed along, simply happy to be along for the journey. 

Ava caught up to you and walked with you for a bit. “It got a little crazy back there, you missed a lot in an hour,” she whispered, giving you a look. “An hour? That long? And what do you mean?” you asked. “Some girl would not leave Jake’s side, was grabbing onto his arm and everything,” Ava said, motioning to Jake. “These other girls wanted to talk to him and she kinda just blocked them with her body, I guess? And so one of the other girls ended up grabbing her by the hair and pulling her away. It ended in absolute chaos and they had to call more security to try to break it all up. There were different groups fighting and they were worried about it disrupting the animals. I think like, six or seven people ended up getting escorted out of the park. You dodged a bullet not being there, that’s for sure,” Ava added. 

You thought about the scene you’d missed as you looked over the menu. “I can truly say I’m glad I wasn’t there,” you replied to Ava after ordering your beer. You looked over to see Jake talking to Josh, likely filling him in about the entire situation. Sam wandered over to where you and Ava were standing, waiting for your drinks. “Did you hear about our fiasco?” he asked and you nodded. “I have to admit, it was a little funny,” he said, taking a sip of his beer. 

The worker handed you your drink and you took a sip before replying. “Why was it funny?” you asked, interested to see his point of view. “They just get going over nothing,” Sam said, shaking his head. “Like, fist fighting over Jake? Of all people? Please,” he said, chuckling as he motioned towards Jake who was oblivious to the conversation, ordering his own beer. “Something about a guitarist, huh?” Sam said a little louder, Jake shaking his head and chuckling before flipping his little brother off. 

“Well, did anyone get seriously hurt?” you asked, slightly concerned for not only the physical, but the mental wellbeing of the people involved. “Nah, just some scrapes I’m sure. Bruised pride maybe, too. They surely got Jake’s attention, but not in the way they wanted,” Sam replied with a chuckle. 

Ava gave Sam an eye roll, but agreed. “It was pretty crazy. I’ve heard stories of the fights, but seeing it close up was… quite alarming.” You shook your head, “I’m glad I wasn’t there. I think I’ve had enough scary fan experiences for a lifetime.” 

Jake and Josh joined the group as you headed towards the next exhibits. “I can agree with that. Something about getting pelted with beer cans just… does something to the soul, I’m sure,” Danny said, coming up on your other side. His comment had you reflecting on the increase in your fear around groups. Maybe it is based in some fact- the beer incident was a little concerning. 

You listened to the group’s chatter as you headed into a hands-on exhibit inside of a giant treehouse. Everyone milled about, reading the various signs and interacting with the exhibits. You watched Sam as he tried to touch one of the birds resting close to the netting of the exhibit. You and Danny, who had been standing next to you, laughed as Sam was chastised by one of the workers who redirected him towards another section of the exhibit. 

“You doing okay?” Danny asked as you walked through the building, casually perusing the various placards and facts. “Yeah, I’m great! Why?” you asked, curious as to why he was checking in. “Oh, no reason. Well, I guess Ava said you had gotten anxious and that’s why you and Josh had walked ahead. Just wanted to check in on you, see your headspace,” he added quietly. 

You nodded before turning to face him. “I’m okay. Really. I appreciate you though, Danny. You’re always so in-tune with people and you make the people around you feel good. I don’t think you hear that nearly enough,” you replied, knowing he could probably use a good compliment. He’d been dealing with Olivia, who was completely overbearing, as well as keeping the Kiszka brothers balanced and in-check. 

Danny nodded and gave you a crooked smile, reaching out to give your shoulder a gentle squeeze. Both of you looked over to find Sam getting into some sort of shenanigans, Ava by his side. “I better go save her,” Danny whispered and you chuckled as he headed over to intercept whatever plans his best friend had. 

As the group walked towards the next exhibit, Sam showed you pictures of him petting and holding the tail end of a giant yellow snake. He beamed proudly as he recounted the information he’d learned about the snake, whose name was Rita. 

“I think Josh should perform wearing a snake, Britney Spears-esque,” Jake added, laughing at his joke. “You think I wouldn’t do it? I have a feeling that thing weighs as much as I do. The dusters I wore last tour and that one gemstone jumpsuit are heavy enough, thank you,” Josh shot back, turning to give you a smile. “Maybe we can get a snake on a jumpsuit though, hmm?” Josh added, giving you a gentle nudge with his shoulder. “I think I can work on that,” you replied, giving him a wink. 

The rest of the zoo visit was fairly uneventful. Sam was delighted that he was able to feed one of the giraffes, another Kodak gold moment for Olivia. As the group returned to the vans, you realized how late it had gotten. “It’s already 5:30?” you asked, shocked at how quickly time had seemed to pass. Danny checked his watch and nodded, his face revealing he was as stunned as you were. “That just means it’s time for dinner,” Sam added, taking his spot in the front seat. 

Albert pointed to Sam’s hat before chuckling. “That’s quite a statement good sir,” Albert said, reaching out to gently tap the front of Sam’s hat, Sam clapping and chuckling in delight. “For the low price of $30, you too could have one!” Sam said and Albert’s eyebrows shot up. “I think I’ll stick with my own hats, thank you,” Albert replied.

The group had decided on a restaurant with live music and authentic southern food where Jack had placed a reservation earlier. The ride to the restaurant was quiet, everyone tired from the day and hungry. 

The restaurant sat the group in a back corner which was private, but had a good view of the stage. The band was setting up as you took your seats. Sam looked the band up and was happy to learn they were a jazz band that focused on playing the classics as well as jazzy covers of rock n’ roll songs. “I feel like this was kismet,” Sam added from his spot next to you. Josh was on your other side, looking over the drink menu. 

“What looks good?” you asked, peering over Josh’s shoulder to take a look at the drinks. He absentmindedly angled the menu so you could see it better, his eyes not breaking from reading the descriptions of the drinks. You both spent a few minutes talking over the options, Jake butting in from Josh’s other side to explain different things. “Would I like that?” Josh occasionally asked and Jake would nod or shake his head before pointing to something else.

The table ordered a few appetizers and a round of drinks. Jake and Sam ordered mojitos, Danny got a local beer and Josh got the restaurant’s version of a moscow mule. You settled on some sort of sangria made with moonshine. “I have a feeling this is going to hit me harder than I’d like to admit,” you said as you took a sip. 

Your suspicions were correct as you were hit with a punch of strong liquor, masked slightly by fresh pineapple juice. Josh nodded in agreement after tasting his drink. “That moonshine is no joke,” Josh said, his eyes wide. You handed Josh your drink to taste and he returned the gesture with his. “I think yours is stronger,” he added and you nodded. “Not by much though,” you added and he agreed. “Can I try?” Sam asked and you agreed. “Wow, that’s really good,” Sam said, nodding vigorously. You and Josh chuckled, amazed he wasn’t phased by the drink’s strength. 

“Man is built like a pole, but can hold his liquor,” Josh whispered under his breath and you chuckled in response. The group ordered their mains and sat back to relax and enjoy the live music. The band was quite good, and you enjoyed watching a few people who were dancing at the other end of the restaurant. You waved down the table to Albert every so often, glad he had joined the group to eat. 

Everyone got along incredibly well, each person’s personality fitting like a piece of the puzzle that made up the group as a whole. “I think this is a pretty elite team,” you said to Josh and he nodded. “I think we had a good group last tour, and we kept the best of the best on. And added some amazing new talent that really meshes with the group,” he said, nudging you when he referenced the new talent. “I’m just constantly amazed and so glad to be here,” you said honestly, your smile growing wider. You looked around the table, simply happy to be in the presence of such an amazing and talented group.  

You turned to see Josh watching you, admiring your outpouring of love. You gave him a smile and returned your attention to your second drink, which was nearly done. The drinks had been flowing freely by the time the food arrived. Everyone took turns recounting the day’s events as well as hopes for future trips. Olivia stayed busy at the end of the table, leaving Danny alone for once as she poured over the content from the say. Every so often she’d tap Ava, show her something and they’d converse before Olivia turned back to her phone. You were really glad your job didn’t involve being on your phone 24/7.

As dinner came to a close, you pulled out your phone to send a few pictures to Jen and send her a few snippets from your day. You’d been so busy, you’d barely had time to check in with your best friend who, luckily, had been equally as busy. 

You watched the group of people on the dance floor, everyone spinning and swaying with the band’s cover of “Isn’t She Lovely.” Sam stood up from the table suddenly, tapping your shoulder and gesturing to the table. “Who wants to dance before we head out?” Sam asked, a few people nodding in agreement and following him to the dance floor. Josh stood and held his hand out for you, which you gladly took. Both of you headed to the dance floor, Josh’s hand clasped around yours. 

Once you made it to the dance floor, Sam stole you away from his brother to spin you around. “I know you’re a good dancer, and I need all the help I can get,” Sam said with a laugh as he followed your movements. Danny came up on your other side, joining the two of you. Danny took your hand and spun you, clearly showing he had more skills than his best friend. You laughed as you danced with the two of them, the three drinks you’d had clearly making this experience more enjoyable. 

You felt a hand clasp onto your back and you turned to see a stranger grabbing onto you. “May I dance with you, pretty lady?” he barked, his voice slightly too loud. “I, uh…” you froze, not sure what to say. “Sorry, she’s spoken for,” Josh said, stepping in front of the man to take your hand and pull you towards the middle of the dance floor. 

Both of you danced for a moment, Josh perfectly in step with you in a goofy, yet carefully placed way. “Thanks,” you mouthed and he smiled at you, clearly pleased with the outcome as he let you out to spin. You danced together for a few more measures of the song, Josh swaying with you in rhythm to the music. 

All too soon, the band ended their set and thanked the patrons for their support. Olivia had been approached by one of the band’s members, who wanted a picture with the guys. They obliged, extending their pleasantries and hand shakes. After the photo op, the group was rounded up by Jack, who ushered everyone back to the vans. 

“Well, I stand by my statement that y’all sure can dance,” Albert said to you and Josh as you went to load into the van. Albert gave you a cheeky wink before helping you up into the van, the drinks knocking your balance off more than usual. 

The ride back to the hotel was filled with more chatter, everyone loosened up by the drinks and fueled by the southern cuisine. “I think we should add dancing into our shows,” Sam mused loudly from the front seat. “Backup dancers, like Shakira, or we dance?” Jake asked, clearly taking his brother’s suggestion seriously. “We could do something like the old boy bands used to do. N’Sync and such? Maybe take a page from One Direction?” Danny added, the group erupting into a fit of laughter. “Something about Sam doing some One Direction choreography is just perfect,” Ava added through her laughter. “Ugh, as if I’d ever do anything they did,” Sam added, clearly disgusted at the suggestion, making you and Ava laugh even harder. “Only willing to support it if we can straighten Daniel’s hair and give him a bowl cut,” Josh added, making you and Ava clutch at each other as you laughed harder at the thought. 

Somehow Jake was able to photoshop Justin Beiber’s hair onto Danny’s face, ending the van ride with even more laughter. “If you don’t stop, I am going to pee,” Ava said between gasps for air as the van pulled up to the hotel. As soon as the van stopped, she jumped up and threw open the doors, headed straight inside for a bathroom. You all laughed as you watched her, everyone tipsy enough to find the situation highly entertaining. 

 You gave Albert a quick hug as you unloaded from the bus. “I’m so grateful for you, Albert,” you said, feeling a bit more sentimental with the alcohol coursing through your veins. “You got it, kiddo!” he responded, returning your hug with a squeeze that only a grandpa could have perfected. “Make sure she gets up to her room, okay?” you heard Albert say to Josh, who nodded in agreement. “You heard the man,” Josh said as he threaded his arm through yours, pulling you closer to him. “It’s the drunk leading the drunk,” you said with a chuckle. 

Somehow you ended up in the same situation- you, Josh, a deadly combined BAC, and an empty hotel room. The door had slammed closed behind you and both of you turned to look at each other, eyes wide as you both blinked. You could tell Josh was processing that this was not, in fact, his room and that his duty of the night (dropping you off at your room) was complete, yet he made no moves to leave. Both of you stood there for a moment, waiting for the other to move or say something.

Josh broke first, rubbing his hand over his face and through his hair. “Well, I guess I’ll head out,” he said, cringing slightly at his own word choice. He stuck out his hand. “Good night,” he said, his hand still extended. 

You burst out laughing. “Are you trying to shake my hand?” you asked between giggles. “Yeah, I don’t know, that was weird,” he said, snatching his hand back. “Good night,” you said, extending your hand out to him. He took it with a laugh and squeezed your hand. He held onto it for a second before letting go and turning to leave. “See you in the morning,” he called as he headed out the door.

You stood there for a second, processing. He’s just a little drunk and his usual goofy self, it means nothing. You shook away your subconscious thoughts and got ready for bed. It took some effort to silence your head as your thoughts swirled, but you were able to eventually fall asleep, the exhaustion from the day finally settling in. 

___________________________________________

It was a knock at the door that woke you up, not your alarm. You glanced at the clock on the nightstand, which read ‘9:15 am.’ You groaned but rolled out of bed and headed to the door to see who it was. It was Ava, so you opened the door to let her in. 

“Good morning!” she said cheerfully as she plopped down on the foot of your bed. You rolled back into bed, crawling under the covers before turning to acknowledge her. “Good morning. What’s up?” you asked. “Jack asked me to make sure everyone was up. We need to head to the venue early because apparently they’re doing general admission fan wristbands at 11:00 and they’re expecting a lot of issues. They want us all there and in the venue before everything goes down,” Ava explained and you nodded.

 “So,” she said, standing and patting your leg, “get on up and head to the bus. They’ll have breakfast and coffee for us at the venue. We need to leave at 9:45 at the absolute latest.” She started to walk out before turning to you. “Can you make sure Josh gets down on time, please? Jake too, but I know if you press Josh he will come and Jake will follow.” You gave her a confused look. “Why me?” you asked and Ava gave you a look. “Josh likes you and he responds well to you. And I have a feeling he will be grumpy today. Please?” she asked and you nodded in agreement.

You got ready quickly, settling on a black oversized t-shirt and some biker shorts. You had a feeling the venue would be hot, like the rest of the state seemed to be, and the day would be incredibly long, which called for comfy clothes. You brushed your teeth, washed your face and did some light makeup before packing up your backpack and heading out into the hall.

You checked the list of room numbers Jack had sent out and walked down to the twin’s room and knocked. “See, you better get up Josh,” you heard Jake say from the other side of the door before it swung open. Your eyebrows involuntarily shot up when you turned to look at Jake, who had answered the door with nothing but a towel slung around his waist, his damp hair still clinging to his neck and chest. “Ah, come in! Hopefully you can get the hungover idiot up,” Jake said with a chuckle as he closed the door behind you and headed back into the bathroom. 

You stood there for a second, allowing your heart rate to slow. Damn, he really does have that effect sometimes. It should be studied. You turned your attention to figuring out what was going on with Josh.

“Hey,” you said quietly as you walked into the main portion of the room. The room was still dark, so you walked over to the curtains and pulled them open slightly, Josh groaning in response. “Close them,” he hissed and you turned to face him. He had sat up in the bed, the duvet pulled up to cover his entire body, aside from his poof of hair that had curls going every direction. His eyes were bloodshot with a ring of dark purple around them. 

You walked over to sit on the end of his bed and he stared at you, still trying to wake up fully. “Do I look that terrible?” he asked gruffly. “What do you mean?” you asked. “You’re looking at me like I have three heads,” he said before flopping back onto the bed, his legs straightening out to rest against you. “Well, you certainly don’t look like the picture of health. I don’t think I do either, to be fair,” you added, hoping you weren’t being too harsh. “You always look nice,” he whispered, so quietly you could barely make out the words. 

Jake entered the room, luckily fully-clothed, and cleared his throat. “Josh, you gotta get up,” Jake said as he turned to gather his stuff in his book bag. “No,” Josh replied shortly, causing Jake to blow out a breath. “Fuck off, Jake. I’m the frontman of your goddamn band, it’s not like you can start without me,” Josh shot and Jake rolled his eyes. “Fucking diva,” Jake spat below his breath. “Be late then. Get jumped by a bunch of people that have been sleeping on concrete for days and have nothing to lose. Be my fucking guest.” 

Jake slung his book bag over his shoulder and walked towards the door. “Keep me up all night snoring like a fucking banshee and are an utter ass in the morning, I shouldn’t expect anything less.” Jake landed his last blow and headed out the door, letting it close harder than he probably should’ve. 

You sat there for a moment, eyes wide. They’re brothers, twins at that. They’re bound to fight sometimes. They’re just tired. “Okay, well, Josh, you really do need to get up. I hate to be that person but today, Jake’s right,” you said quietly, placing a hand on Josh’s lower leg. He rolled over to face you. “Are you tasked with getting me down and out in time?” he asked and you nodded. “Then I’ll get up,” he said with a huff as he sat up and rolled over to the edge of the bed. 

He stood, stretching before reaching for his phone on the nightstand. You were completely frozen as you sat watching him. He was in nothing but his boxer briefs, which you’d seen him in before, obviously, but this time it was different. Something about the way his hair fell, the curls loose and messy, and the way his skin was still slightly pink from the warmth of the bed. 

“Give me five minutes,” he said as he turned to rifle through his suitcase. You watched the muscles of his back and upper arms contract, each movement sudden yet undeniable graceful. 

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. He’s my boss, we have a working relationship and I’m here as a favor to Ava. He turned to walk to the bathroom, giving you a clear view of him from the side. There was an unmistakable shape fighting against the thin fabric of his boxer briefs that caught your eye and you quickly turned your attention to the phone in your hand, hoping he didn’t realize you’d noticed what you had. “Yeah, okay,” you said quietly, feigning absentmindedness although there was only one thing on your mind. 

As soon as the bathroom door closed, you flopped back into the bed. You pressed yourself into the spot where he had laid moments before, the crisp white linens holding onto his warmth and smell. You sat up quickly when you heard rattling in the bathroom. Get it together, be professional. 

You decided to text Jen while you waited. You’d both been so busy- Jen in the middle of a fashion show that had her swept away to New York, you in the whirlwind that was touring. 

You: Miss you <3 send me some pics from today’s show!

Scrolling through Instagram, you recognized a few designs you’d seen hanging up in your design space just a few weeks earlier. You were incredibly proud of your friend, even if your work kept you away from one another for long stretches. 

Jen: BITCH you’ll never guess who I’ve been working with, you’re gonna DIE! Call me tonight?

You: For sure 

The bathroom door thudded open and Josh padded back into the room. He was dressed, thankfully, in his signature white long-sleeved tee and khaki pants. He sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his sneakers and lace them up and you watched as his nimble fingers worked the laces. His hands were much less calloused than his brothers and always manicured and kept clean. After working with a handful of bands closely, you could definitely attest that this band was by far the cleanest- it made your job that much easier. 

“Ready,” Josh said quietly as he stood, smoothing his hands over his pants. You checked your phone. “Five minutes on the dot, good job,” you said with a teasing smile. “Don’t fucking patronize me,” he growled, knocking the wind out of you. Instantly, he knew he had made a wrong move. “I’m kidding, sorry,” he said, reaching forward to squeeze your arm. “Yeah, no, it’s fine,” you said as you walked past him and headed to the door, your eyes stinging with tears. It’s not even a big deal, he’s tired and hungover. It happens. 

The walk to the elevator was silent. You walked on and shifted your bag from one shoulder to the other uncomfortably, wondering if you should speak first or just let the silence continue. 

When the elevator opened, you were met with a sea of faces and phones thrust directly into your face. People began to frantically yell Josh’s name and reach for him. You both walked off the elevator, Josh taking the lead with smiles and small waves as he worked through the crowd. Hotel security luckily appeared, helping part the crowd so you could get out to the buses. 

One minute you were following behind Josh, staying focused on his curls bobbing in the crowd, and the next you were flat on your back on the linoleum floor. The voices around you were raised to a dull roar and you noticed the sharp pain radiating from your ankle. 

“Did you just fucking kick her?” you heard Josh spit from above you as he pointed at a girl with a shocked look on her face. Jake appeared from out of the crowd, leaning down to offer you a hand. “You okay?” he asked as he moved to inspect your leg. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said as you started to get up. The second you stood, you realized something wasn’t completely right. Jake slung your arm over his shoulder and helped bare your weight as he helped you out of the lobby and towards the bus, Josh still arguing with the group. 

“Sam, go get Josh please,” Jake said with a huff as he helped you onto the bench in the wardrobe bus. “What? Why do I…” Sam started. Jake raised his hand, immediately quieting Sam. “Just go,” Jake barked and Sam nodded. 

Jake helped slip your shoe off and was examining your ankle when Albert made his way back with a first aid kit. “You okay sweet girl?” Albert asked, watching Jake with worried glances. “Yeah, I’m fine. Jake, I’m fine, I promise,” you said, squeezing his arm as he rotated your foot. “Okay, Jake, that hurts,” you said through gritted teeth as he moved your foot downwards. “I am pretty sure it’s just a sprain. But I think they’re right- it looks like that girl probably kicked you and you twisted your ankle,” Jake said, rummaging through the first aid kit. 

“I don’t think she kicked me, I think it was just a lot of people and I tripped,” you rebutted. Jake pulled out a roll of athletic wrap and tape from the first aid kit. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m ridiculously accident-prone,” you said with a smile. Jake shook his head as he started to wrap your ankle, his hands moving quickly and with expertise. “Either way, I wish things would stop happening to you. I swear this tour is more cursed than our last two and we are only a few weeks in,” he huffed as he finished the wrapping with a strip of tape. 

“You’re really good at that,” you said as you admired your wrap job. “Playing soccer will do that for you,” Jake said with a smile. Albert had wandered up to the front of the bus to see what was going on and had returned. “They got the crowds out of the way and we are cleared to go. Are y’all good?” he asked and you both nodded. Albert gave you a thumbs up and headed back to his seat.

“I guess everyone else is on the other bus,” you said quietly as you stood, testing your limits. “Yeah, it’s probably for the best,” Jake replied as he reclined on the bench across from you. “Did you and Josh have a lot of disagreements growing up?” you asked, hoping the question wouldn’t pry too much, but would also allow Jake to reminisce. 

Jake thought for a moment before replying. “Not as much as you’d think. He’s typically pretty easy going. Well, I guess we both are, me especially. Unless he’s hungover or sick, we get along pretty well. There was this one time though when he really just pissed me off- he was pushing my buttons, which he knows how to do well. I’d had it, so I sent him through a glass door at this lake house we used to go to. It was such a mess- he had to get stitches in his arm and I was grounded for a month. Scared the shit out of Sam. He thought I was gonna kill Josh. But, ever since then, we’ve had a pretty good understanding that there’s mutual destruction if we ever get to that point. So we just don’t let it get there.” 

You liked listening to Jake talk. He didn’t usually talk much, but when he did speak, you made sure to listen. “You broke a glass door? Like a sliding glass door?” you asked, still shocked from the story. “Yeah. It was not one of my proudest moments. But I think it was what we needed to really solidify the fact that fighting really doesn’t work well. So I’d classify what you saw this morning as a rift, not a fight,” Jake responded with a chuckle. “If it was a fight, you would've known it,” he said, ending the conversation with a chuckle. 

You thought for a moment before responding. “I’m an only child, so this is all pretty new to me,” you said quietly. “The dynamic you guys have, that is.” Jake nodded. “You and Jen are pretty close though, right? I know it’s not the same, but I feel like you guys are soul mates. Or at least cosmically linked, and that’s probably the closest you can get,” Jake added and you nodded.

All of a sudden you were tearing up at the thought of Jen being your soul mate. “I miss her,” you said quietly, shaking your head softly to hide the tears. “Yeah, I’m sure she misses you too. But, trust me, it’s not always sunshine and roses traveling with your roommate,” Jake said with a shrug. “Yeah… you should just request separate rooms, have a bit of a break,” you suggested and Jake nodded, although you could tell he wasn’t too keen on the idea. “I hate to admit it, but I just don’t sleep as well on the road without him. It’s embarrassing to admit, but… I dunno,” Jake muttered, waving his hand to rid the words from the air before he changed the subject, asking questions about his suit for the night’s performance. 

You knew you were at the venue by the screams coming from outside the bus. Jake peeked through the curtains and sighed. “I guess they all lined up early,” Jake whispered, as if the thousands of people gathered around the bus could hear him. You peeked through the curtains at the other end of the window and were shocked to see just how many people were surrounding the bus. 

“I shouldn’t have looked,” you said as you slumped into the bench, pressing your back against the window. Jake scooted closer to you, placing a hand over your own, He added slight downwards pressure, flattening your hand and releasing your nails from digging into your skin, something you hadn’t even realized you were doing. “There’s not that many people, security will get them moved,” Jake said quietly as he patted your hand once more before turning to peek out the window again.

“Shit,” he hissed as he quickly dropped the curtain. You heard banging on the bus below you and turned to look at Jake, eyes wide. “They saw me I think,” he whispered as the screams got louder, more fans hitting the side of the bus in a feeble attempt to get Jake’s attention. 

You slid down onto the floor, the world growing increasingly quiet as you started to hyperventilate. Your vision blurred as your surroundings went hazy, the panic starting to set in. Jake’s voice seemed to be floating high above you and you felt his hands on you, but the sensation was dull. It was too late- the panic attack had taken over completely. 

____________________________________________

“Well don’t fucking kick her, Sam, Jesus. I don’t care if it was an accident, stop pacing and sit the fuck down.” 

Your vision started to clear and the sound distortion eased. “Easy does it,” you heard a voice say from behind you. You took a deep breath, finally feeling at ease. “What happened?” you asked, your voice garbled. Danny’s sweet smile came into view as he bent down in front of you. “Pretty sure you had a panic attack and may have blacked out for a minute. But I think you’re okay now,” he said with a smile as he reached out to squeeze your hand. “I, uh,” you reached up to remove the wet towel from behind your neck and started to pull on the hair tie holding your hair back in a hasty bun. 

“I’d leave that for a minute, I think you’re still a little warm,” you heard Josh say quietly as he gently removed your hand from your hair. You turned to look back at him, taking in the situation fully. He was sitting behind you on the floor and leaned against the bench, his legs straddling you. You started to scoot away, trying to give him space, but he held you back. “Just sit for a second,” Josh said, holding you gently, but firmly. “No, no, I’m fine, I promise,” you said as you pushed away from him, finally breaking contact. “I’m really sorry, I don’t even know what happened, today has already been an absolute disaster,” you bumbled as you stood, grabbing onto the table for balance. 

“Take it easy,” Jake instructed, reaching out to steady you. “We got stuck in a crowd. It was pretty scary- people were banging on the bus and stuff. I don’t blame you at all, it was pretty wild,” Jake said, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, they finally got us through and you were laid out on the floor, poor thing. Jake is luckily helpful for sprained ankles, not so much panic attacks though,” Danny said with a chuckle, “he looked like a deer in headlights.” Jake flipped him off. “Look, she was alive and breathing, that’s all that matters,” Jake shot back.

Albert came into view and sighed when he saw you. “Oh thank the stars, sweet girl! You had us worried!” Albert said as he came over and took your shoulders in his hands, looking you over for any signs of distress. “We had no Earthly idea what to do. Luckily curly Q knew,” Albert added as he gestured to Josh, who shrugged. “Well, the walkway is cleared and they have breakfast for us. That’s what I was told to tell y’all,” Albert said as he gave you one final squeeze. 

Everyone nodded and gathered their things. “Let me take that,” Danny said, taking your backpack from you as the group headed off the bus. Your ankle was throbbing dully, but the pain was manageable with the wrap Jake had done. 

“Bless your sweet heart,” Albert said as he gave you his hand to help you down the bus stairs, “it’s been quite the trip for you, huh?” You couldn’t help but laugh. “You could say that again. Hopefully I’ve had enough insanity for this leg of the tour and the universe will be kind to me going forward.” 

Josh thought for a minute before responding. “I think you may just be our good luck charm through, absorbing the negative energy yourself,” he reflected and Sam turned to shake his head. “You better take that back, you’ll put even more negative energy on her and she certainly doesn’t need that shit,” Sam chastised and Josh threw his hands up in defeat. 

 You found a quiet spot to sit in an empty dressing room and pulled out your sketchbook to work on some ideas as you ate your bagel. The venue had supplied breakfast, including some of the best chai you’d had in a long time. You sipped on your cup when Josh came through the doorway, carrying his own notebook and breakfast. 

“You found me,” you said with a smile. “Well, I was going to ask to join you, but if you’d prefer not to be found, I can cover for you,” he said, clearly disappointed, but understanding. “Of course not, come sit,” you said, patting the floor next to you. Josh grinned widely and took his spot next to you. 

Both of you worked in silence aside from the occasional chewing or scratches of graphite as you both sketched. “You guys are weirdos sitting on the floor,” Sam said from the doorway, disrupting the quiet peace you both had made. Josh lurched at the disruption, smacking his cup with the side of his hand, sending his drink all over his sketchbook. “Damn it Sam,” Josh hissed as he jumped up, grabbing the sketchbook and turning it over, attempting to get the liquid to flow off of the pages. You grabbed your own book and turned to put it on the couch behind you before reaching for some napkins to stop the spread of the liquid which was running across the table. 

“Here, don’t shake too hard,” you said as you gently took the book from Josh. Danny came into the room, taking in the scene as Josh turned to Sam, a finger pointed into his chest. “Hey, I don’t know what’s going on but Josh, you need to take a breath because we have a sound check. Now,” Danny said as he moved to stand between Josh and Sam. 

Josh took a deep breath and nodded, walking out of the room without another word. Sam turned to you, his eyes sad. “How bad is it?” he asked as you gently worked to blot the pages dry. “I’ll see what I can do,” you said with a soft smile and Sam nodded. Danny began to understand what had happened and he mouthed a “thanks” to you before he and Sam headed towards the stage.

You did your best not to look at Josh’s work as you tried to salvage the sketchbook, using a hair dryer to help start the drying process as you separated the soaked pages. From your glances, you could tell he was talented and creative, more than you’d thought. There were ideas for songs with lyrics scribbled along the margins with drawings sketched on the pages. 

The rhythm of separating the pages, blotting them with a napkin, and letting the dryer run over them became monotonous. You weren’t paying too much attention to the content of the pages, speed being the more important factor. However, you couldn’t help but stare at the face staring back at you on one of the pages towards the middle section of the book. 

The face was unmistakably you, down to the curve in your nose and the wrinkles by your eyes. The portrait was done quickly but carefully and was more detailed than the other drawings in the book. You turned the page to see another one, a close-up of what appeared to be your hands sewing. You looked through the next few pages, all drawings encompassing you with words written intermittently around the pictures. ‘Beauty in its rawest form’ one inscription read next to what was an outline of your profile, your face twisted in concentration. You continued to peel the pages apart, the ink bleeding slightly from the liquid, but the intent strikingly clear- it was all you.

You snapped the book closed and leaned back against the couch, unsure what to think. You heard Josh’s voice carrying from down the hall and moved quickly, flipping back in the book until you were miming your earlier actions of peeling the pages apart and blotting them dry, but much earlier in the book. Josh appeared in the doorway, Jake behind him. Josh’s face fell when he saw what you were doing and he rushed forward. 

“Sorry, I know I should’ve asked, but I was worried if I waited, they uh, the pages, they’d be stuck together too much,” you said quietly. Josh looked from you to the book and back again. You were sure he was trying to figure out what you’d seen, but you put on your best poker face and smiled back, hoping he couldn’t read you. “I only got through a few pages, it’s a slow process,” you said, showing him the first few pages you’d done. He nodded and took the book from you. “Thank you,” Josh said, his smile genuine. 

He attempted to flip through the pages but struggled. You had pressed the pages together, ensuring he didn’t realize you’d gotten as far as you had. “How was sound check?” you asked, hoping the change in topic would help move things along. “Really good,” Jake said with a smile as he sat down in the chair across from you. 

Jake started to give you a recount of sound check and the venue when Olivia came flying into the room, two phones in her hand. “Have you seen this?” Olivia asked, shoving one of the phones in Jake’s face. He took it from her and repositioned it to an angle where he could see. He scrolled for a moment, reading. “Well, shit,” Jake said quietly as he handed her back the phone. “What’s wrong?” you asked and Olivia turned to look from you to Josh and back again. “Look, if you two are screwing, we need to know about it,” Olivia snapped as she handed you the phone. 

Josh sat down next to you and looked over your shoulder as you scrolled, reading some sort of thread someone had made about you and Danny and then you and Josh. There were pictures too- ones of you and Danny on the kiss cam, Danny with his arm around you somewhere, you and Josh walking together, you and Josh sitting together at the zoo. “What is this?” you asked and Olivia shook her head. “Well, if you read it, you’d see that there’s a fan theory that you’re fucking Danny. And Josh. And it’s pretty convincing.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh- Olivia was worked up over a couple of pictures and opinions of some fans? “Olivia, be real. We never give fan theories any weight, why would we pay attention to this one?” Josh said as he handed the phone back to her. “Because of the threats. People are pissed, Josh,” she said. “We need to do damage control. And I need you both to be honest with me- if there’s a relationship going on we are going to have to drastically change our approach.” 

Josh shook his head, confirming what you already knew. “No, Olivia. Even if we were, it’s nobody’s business. And it’s your job to ensure that,” Josh said, his tone more threatening than he probably meant for it to be. 

“Look, why don’t we do a TikTok about some of our crew and we can feature her. Let people know what she does, show her talent, get people off her back,” Jake proposed. Olivia thought for a moment. “That could work. We could spin it, show her with you and Sam, do some mind tricks,” Olivia said as she clearly began to plan the video in her head. “Let me go find Ava and see what we can come up with. We have a lot of B-roll, I think we may be able to pull it off,” Olivia said quickly before heading out of the room, always moving at dizzying speeds.

The three of you sat in silence for a minute, decompressing after the whirlwind of drama. “Do I need to be worried?” you asked. Jake shook his head. “I think people have been curious about you and your role from the beginning, they’re just starting to grasp at straws because they aren’t getting solid answers. This happens sometimes with various things. We will put out something concrete and they’ll back off,” Jake assured, Josh nodding in agreement. 

The day seemed to move slowly. Everyone spent the afternoon relaxing and wandering around backstage. Sam had found all sorts of hidden places, intermittently interrupting you from your sketching to lead you to another random spot he had wanted to show you. Ava and Olivia had pieced together a video showcasing various crew members (including you) to the Full House theme song. The video had been posted on TikTok and, according to Olivia, had been well received. 

___________________________________________

You adjusted Danny’s sheer shoulder cover, applying some skin glue to keep the bedazzled fabric in place. “Feel okay?” you asked. “Yeah, perfect,” he said between bites of the piece of pizza he held in one of his hands. “Can you do Danny’s makeup please?” Amanda, one of the assistants, asked before shoving a palette into your hands and scurrying out of the room. 

“I guess I’m going to have to,” you said with a chuckle as you sat down in a chair across from Danny. “She has to go do Josh’s rhinestones,” Danny said, covering his mouth as he continued to chew. “You’re nasty, you know that?” you shot at him and he chuckled, shaking his head. “Maybe we should post that somewhere. Maybe then people will finally understand that we aren’t dating,” Danny snickered. “Well, damn, that’s the first I’ve heard that we aren’t dating. You’re breaking my heart dear Danny,” you joked as you applied the dark eyeshadow to his eyelids. 

Danny was quiet for a moment. “What’s up?” you asked, tapping the brush on the edge of the pallet as you waited for his answer. “I would date you, you know,” Danny said quietly, his eyes still closed as he waited for you to apply more makeup. You paused, your heart beating through your chest. Danny slowly opened his left eye to make sure you weren’t coming at him with a brush before he opened both eyes. “I mean that,” he said with a smile. “You’re great. Really,” he said with a shy smile. “But, you and Josh are written in the stars,” he said as he reached for a different brush and pointed to another color on the palette you held in your hands. 

Danny waited for you to continue like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on you. You took the other brush from him and applied the color he had pointed to, focusing on blending the colors while you took a few deep breaths. “I’m just going to chalk this conversation up to being tired and anxious,” you said as you patted his chest before standing, signaling you were done. Danny’s eyes snapped open and he wiggled his eyebrows at you. “See, that would work, except I don’t get anxious anymore,” he said as he stood, running his hands over his patterned pants. 

One of the stagehands poked their head through the door and pointed at you. “Josh needs you,” they said before disappearing. “You’re good?” you asked Danny, who had turned his attention to wrapping tape around a pair of drumsticks. He gave you a nod and you headed towards the door. Danny called out your name and you turned to look back at him. “You know I’m right,” he said with a grin and you turned to head down the hall. 

You made your way into Josh’s dressing room and found him fully dressed, sitting in front of a nebulizer. “What’s up?” you asked as you walked over to him, reaching down to assess the embroidery on the duster he had on. “Just wanted to check in on you,” Josh said, his eyes closed as he breathed in the steam. You took a seat in the chair next to him, running your hands over the stitching on the side of his jumpsuit. “What? Oh, I’m good. Does this seam bother you? I can probably iron it down a little flatter,” you said, working the fabric in your hands as you thought about your conversation with Danny moments before. 

Josh’s hands folded over yours, instantly stilling your body and mind. You looked up at him and took a deep breath. “I’m fine. The clothes are fine. I just wanted to make sure you’re feeling okay after everything,” Josh clarified. Oh god, he knows I saw the drawings. “Oh, yeah, no, it’s all good!” you started. “I know that the panic attack was a lot, and then those stupid comments, but I really don’t think they mean anything,” Josh continued, gesturing with his hands, “I think Olivia’s video will help.” You nodded. 

Okay, so we are not talking about the sketchbook. 

“Yeah, I’m good! Really!” you ensured, reaching out to squeeze his hands. “I appreciate all your help today though. I don’t know what you did to help me during the panic attack, but obviously it helped and I’m very thankful.” Josh nodded. “You calmed down pretty well on your own. I just sat with you and you seemed to just come back on your own, which was good,” Josh said before taking a sip of his tea. 

Someone in the hall called out for the band and Josh stood. “I’ll see you in a bit,” he said, giving your shoulder a squeeze before he headed out of the room. You watched him go, unsure of the feelings he left you sitting with.

___________________________________________

The show went off without a hitch, things seemingly in place for once that day. “Probably the best one yet,” Sam had answered you with a smile when you had asked about the show.  He was sitting next to you, his clothes in his lap as he moved the wet hair off of his face. He had been the first one done and showered, ready to head back to the hotel to sleep. Jake was next, followed by Danny and then Josh. All of them carried their own outfits, their excuse being that they didn’t want to have to stop and sign autographs and take pictures, but you knew it was likely because they didn’t want you carrying everything after what you’d dealt with that day.

Everyone seemed to be in good spirits as you headed towards the wardrobe bus. “Do we get to sleep in at least a little bit?” Sam asked and Danny shrugged. “I think Jack said we’d head to Florida at 10, so I guess a little bit,” Jake answered, swinging his suit onto his other shoulder. 

“I guess Albert went inside,” you said as you approached the bus. The door almost always opened for you when you approached, Albert always ready to meet you when you boarded the bus. Tonight was different though as you reached to input the code to open the door. 

Albert was slumped over the wheel in his seat when the door opened. “Albert?” you called, assuming he was taking one of his many “cat naps” as he called them. “Albert?” you said a little louder as you climbed the stairs. “Someone call 911!” you screamed as you began searching for a pulse. You turned to see Jake run back towards the venue, Sam right behind him as he screamed for help. You and Josh locked eyes with utter terror, unsure of what was to come. 

--------------------------------------------------------

writer's note: just a gentle reminder that everything I write is completely and utterly fiction

much love to my forever editor: @joshs-jonch

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

The warm water felt heavenly as it beat down against your back. You were sore and exhausted- performing really took everything out of you, despite the passion and love you felt for it. Thinking back to the day’s events, you shook your head. A fire, the sound check fiasco, Emily, what else could go wrong today?

You reflected on the performance as you rinsed the shampoo out of your hair. It had gone really well, despite some hiccups during sound check. Sammy’s bass had been completely washed out and your mic had been distorting your voice. Luckily your crew was the best of the best, fixing the issues quickly and with the utmost professionalism.

Finishing your shower and wrapping the towel around your waist, you examined the clothes laid out for you on the bathroom counter.  A white long-sleeved tee shirt was folded on top of a pair of tan twill joggers, a new pair of boxer briefs carefully tucked under the clothes. Definitely my style, good picks.

You slipped on the clothes, the fabric clinging to your damp skin. Something along the side stitching of your pants caught your eye and you turned to examine it in the mirror. You smiled as you pulled at the fabric to get a better look at the symbol embroidered onto the pants. It wasn’t just any symbol; it was your symbol- a circle inside of a triangle with interwoven crosshatch lines. It was a simple gesture and probably took her about five minutes, but it rocked your world. She sat, probably in this room, and thought about you. Did something for you. Shaking your head, you tried to clear the thoughts from your mind. It’s her job. But was it?

Opting to let your hair air dry, you realized you were the quickest one to shower and get changed when you emerged from the dressing room, backpack slung over your back. Thank god I left this on the bus. The one time my forgetfulness comes in handy. You were carrying your jumpsuit which you had carefully hung back on its hanger.

It was quiet in the hall, the crew busy preparing to move equipment. But yet, there she was. She sat cross-legged on the floor, a sketchbook opened in her lap. Her brow was furrowed as she concentrated on whatever she was working on, her mouth twitching ever so slightly as she worked. You sat down on the couch across from her and she noticed your presence, her eyes snapping up to meet yours.

“Oh, hey!” she greeted casually, fixing her posture as she addressed you. Her smile was soft and she was clearly tired, but she remained radiant with her presence. It was the one thing you could always count on- her presence seemed to recharge your energy, even after a long and exhausting day.

You gestured to the symbol on your pants, and she smiled wider. “I needed something small to do to get me into the creative spirit,” she said quietly. “I don’t know about creative- it’s nothing too special,” you countered. “I like it. Something about its simplicity just… works. It’s very you,” she added. You nodded and pointed to her sketch. “What are you working on?” She turned it to show you, pointing out details as she talked. “I’m mapping out the panel I’m missing for Jake’s Atlanta suit. I want to make sure I only have to redo it once,” she explained, sadness clouding her face.   

“I’m sorry you’re having to redo it. It just… really sucks,” you lamented. She nodded in agreement before looking back up at you. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m honestly just glad everyone is okay. Things could’ve been really bad. I mean, people could’ve gotten hurt or died. I am sad about the panel and my sketchbook, but there’s a chance I’ll get it back. And even if I don’t,” she paused to take a breath, her hands gesturing as she talked, “I’m okay. You’re okay. We are all okay. The world is still turning!”

“And burning,” Sam added as he plopped down on the couch next to you. He rested his head back and closed his eyes, clearly exhausted. This tour had started out well, but the way things had been going were starting to take their toll. You chuckled as you took in Sam’s outfit, a pair of patterned pants clashing brightly with a tie dye t-shirt. 

“You know… this makes sense,” you said as you gestured to his outfit. He opened one eye to see what you were talking about before closing it back, chuckling in agreement. “Yeah, Ava picked out your clothes,” she had answered, her smile growing wider. You looked at Sam, who was shaking his head, eyes closed, before looking at her. “Really?” you mouthed, and she shook her head. “That’s funny,” Sam mumbled, “Ava told me you picked this out for me. And she is a much more reputable source for information.”

That was all it took for the laughter to begin and she doubled over, gasping for breath. You couldn’t help but laugh along with her, even though you didn’t really understand why it was so funny. She wiped a tear from her cheek as her laughter subsided. “Yeah, no, it was me. I got all of your stuff, so if it doesn’t fit, that’s on me. Nobody else wanted to pick for you guys, so I decided to have fun with it.” She took a deep breath and continued. “I must be really exhausted because that wasn’t even funny. But then I looked at you and it just tickled me all over.”

Everyone fell back into comfortable silence before Danny emerged. “Nice outfit,” he poked at Sam, starting the giggles all over again. Jake emerged soon after, completing the group. Everyone sat in silence, waiting for the signal to load up and head towards Atlanta.

Albert approached the group. “Well, we have the go ahead crew!” he greeted, always smiling. She jumped up to greet Albert, ensuring he had eaten something and had his coffee ready. “I can go grab you something really quick!” she had said, although Albert had waved her off. She had gotten really close to the older man, both of them always checking up on each other. His kindness was infectious, and you’d started to really take a liking to him. Albert was one of the reasons you liked to take the wardrobe bus. One of many reasons.

You reached for your jumpsuit, but she had beaten you to it. “I’ll carry it,” you offered, reaching out for it. “Are you guys not stopping to see the fans? The bus is parked a little further away,” she clarified, and you glanced back at Jake. “May as well,” Jake answered. “I’ll let you take it. This time,” you warned as you gestured to let her walk ahead of you. She had stacked the other outfits on top of your jumpsuit, which she carried carefully. Albert had taken the box of shoes from her and was leading the group out to the bus.

The commotion from outside could be heard before you even got to the backside of the arena. Security joined the group as you all made your way out the back doors. Jake took the lead, heading over to begin the song and dance over the fence surrounding the back parking lot.

You watched your brother- he was always effortless, ensuring the perfect amount of finesse for every situation. He was a natural and had that star power quality that you knew had helped make his dream a reality. You followed behind him, pulling a sharpie out of the side pocket of your bag as you leaned in to sign various things and smile for photos.

Without even thinking, you made your way onto the wardrobe bus. You absentmindedly nodded and smiled at Albert, who was getting his GPS set up. She looked up at you as you worked your way towards the back of the bus. She smiled and you finally came to the realization that you were not on your bus and that you were alone in your choice to ride with her. You were suddenly nervous, unsure how she’d react to just you choosing to ride with her.

I can just say I wanted to check in and I’ll get off. It’s not that weird that I came on here. If she’s uncomfortable she’ll tell me.

She smiled at you, pointing to the spot you usually took when riding on the wardrobe bus. “What’s on your docket for the night? Albert said it’ll only be about three, maybe three and a half hours to get to Atlanta,” she said as she turned back to cutting the piece of fabric laid out on the table in front of her. Everything she did was so effortless, although her movements were quick and precise. 

You watched her for a second before remembering that she asked you a question. “I think I’ll probably just sketch a little bit. Maybe work on some lines for the song Danny and I were working on,” you answered as you moved to sit in your spot. “Is that the missing panel?” you asked, gesturing to the piece she was working on. “It is. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to knock this one out by the time we get to Atlanta. We will see!” she answered, giving you a hopeful smile.

Albert called back to the two of you to let you know you’d be under way soon. Both of you responded in unison, harmonizing with your responses. You both chuckled before you returned to your respective projects.

You angled yourself away from her to continue working on a project you’d started that afternoon. You were glad your sketchbook was the one thing that was kept sacred- nobody dared peer inside. Sam had flipped through it, you were sure, but you knew Jake and Danny would never. Nobody from your team. Everyone knew there were a few things left alone- Sammy’s bass, your sketchbook, Jake’s hats.

About an hour and a half later the bus pulled to a stop at a small gas station just inside the Georgia state limits. Both of you peered out the window, looking out into the pitch black to see the neon lights of the gas station convenience center. “I need a drink,” she started before turning to you, wide-eyed. “Like a caffeine-containing drink,” she clarified, and you laughed. “It’s been a day, I wouldn’t blame you for needing an actual drink,” you replied, running a hand through your loose curls. You gestured to her and she followed you off the bus.

She went to ask Albert what he wanted and he replied something you couldn’t quite hear, but she nodded and gave him a wide smile. Once she got back to you, she explained. “He wants a black coffee and a Nutter Butter,” she revealed, and you nodded. “I think we can do that.”

You filled up one of the disposable cups with coffee while she went to grab an energy drink. “You sure you don’t want anything?” she called out from across the store. It was just after one am and the store was quiet aside from the two of you and the clerk who sat half-asleep at the register. “No, I’m good,” you replied as you finished filling up the cup and popped on the lid. The cup was hot, so you placed the cup inside another for safe handling.

Both of you met up at the counter. She set her Red Bull on the counter and the clerk rang it up, reaching out to scan the barcode on the coffee cup. “Smart,” she noted, pointing at the double-cup situation as she handed over the work card. “Actually, can I get one of the vodka shooters?” you asked, wanting something to take off the edge. The clerk gave you a mild case of side eye before turning to grab a bottle. “Make it two,” she said, and you could hear the smile in her voice.

The clerk asked for ID, which you both provided before being rung up. He handed the card back across the counter and gave you both a nod, ready to get back to his nap. As you walked out the doors, you both snapped open your shots and slung them back before throwing the empty bottles into the trash. She made a face and you laughed. 

“Not one for shots?” you asked. “Not if they’re vodka, bleh,” she responded with a disgusted look. “We could’ve done a shot of fireball, but I’ve already had two tonight and you know… the red dye and everything,” you joked, and she shot you a look. “When on Earth did you take two shots?” she asked, bewildered. “On stage!” you replied with a laugh, coming to the realization that she must not have ever seen a show from start to finish. “I always take a shot of fireball. Sometimes, like tonight, two. Or three. Depends on how the show is going,” you explained, and she laughed in response. “I guess I better take Ava up on the offer of watching a show from in front of the barricade. She said it was worth the anxiety,” she responded. “You definitely should. A whole show, start to finish though. I think we really have a good setup. And I like to think I’m pretty entertaining,” you added, cringing internally. Don’t push it. Nobody likes cocky.

To your relief, she chuckled in response. “I agree with that statement. It’s never a dull moment on this tour.” You nodded in agreement as you both headed across the parking lot. She was walking in long, sweeping strides, almost dancing as she took a sip of her drink. Suddenly, she was fully dancing, doing a graceful spin before jolting into a hilarious set of moves as she tried to dance and walk. You watched her for a moment as she laughed, finding herself truly hilarious as the delirium of exhaustion set in.

You reached your free hand out to her and she took it, allowing you to spin her as you continued to walk towards the bus. Albert was standing outside, leaned against the side of the bus. He whistled and she held her hand up for you to do a spin in return.

As you approached, you handed Albert his coffee. “Go ahead and dip the lady!” he replied with enthusiasm. She handed Albert her drink too and held out both hands to you.

In that moment, you were transported back to high school choir, when you had accidentally dropped your partner while practicing a dip. “Josh, you’re such an idiot,” she had complained as she hopped off the ground, rolling her eyes. She had grabbed your hands and placed them where they were supposed to go. “If you could just grow a couple of inches and get a little stronger, we may actually be able to do this,” she had huffed, moving your feet with hers to square your position.

 You were zapped back to the present as she took your hands in hers, pulling you to her. Gently and slowly, you dipped her backwards, your arm pressed into the small of her back as she trusted you to help support her. Your eyes locked onto each other as you both took a deep breath, stretching just the slightest bit more. And, just like that, it was over as you both returned to standing positions. Albert adjusted his hold on the drinks and clapped for a moment, clearly delighted by this impromptu performance. “You should do that on one of your stages,” Albert said as he handed back her drink. “I don’t know if that’s really in the style of rock n’ roll, but Josh is a damn good dancer,” she replied, giving you a nudge as you headed back onto the bus.

  The last hour and a half of the drive was uneventful. You had sat and watched her work, enthralled with the speed of which her hands moved with never a stitch out of place. She had just moved to the sewing machine when the bus pulled into the hotel parking lot. Albert announced your arrival and you stood, gathering your stuff back into your backpack. “Are you coming?” you asked as she fastened the panels of the suit together with pins. “No, I’m going to finish this. Probably won’t take more than another fifteen to twenty minutes and then I can take a break tomorrow.”

You nodded and sat back down on the bench, pulling your phone out. She gave you a questioning look and you shrugged. “I’ll just wait until you’re done. It makes me a little nervous with you being out here alone, especially after the beer incident and everything people have been saying…” you said, stopping when you realized you’d spoken a bit too much.

She paused, stiffening before she turned her chair around to face you. “People are saying what?” she asked. She appeared calm and collected, although you were sure that, internally, she wasn’t. “Well, nothing new. Really. People are just trying to speculate about who you are and everything. Most of them have pieced together that you’re our designer, but people can never just be content with accepting the truth as an answer. And any threats are empty, just for attention” you replied, hoping she’d drop the topic.

“What does that mean? The truth part?” she inquired. “People are just jealous,” you replied. She sighed and continued. “If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I’m just going to go find out for myself.”  You couldn’t help but grimace at the thought of her reading some of the nasty things people had posted online. “I honestly don’t really even know. I’m not really into social media so…” you tried to cover. She shot you a look. “You’re a lousy liar, Josh. Well, I believe that you’re not into social media. That’s not a lie. I do have an inkling that you know what people are saying though. I know Jake sees everything and neither of you are good at keeping things to yourselves.”

You thought for a minute, desperate for a way to shield her. “Look, if you really want to know, ask Jake. He can find that stuff better than I can.” She nodded and luckily turned back towards her work. She started to sew the panels of the suit together, illuminating her workspace with a light that she pulled down close to view the needle as it moved through the fabric with mechanical precision.

She paused after a moment, not turning away from her work as she made her next statement. “Josh, it’s going to bother me all night if you don’t at least give me a gist of what’s going on with social media.” She spoke quietly, adjusting the pins in the fabric as she worked. You flipped over your phone and quickly texted your brother before replying.

You: Come help.

Jake: With…?

You: She’s asking about the stuff online. I don’t know what to tell her- you saw all of it.

Jake: Coming

“Look, Jake is coming back down, he will explain things,” you replied, looking up to see her looking at you. She had turned back around, the finished suit draped over her lap. She sat, hunched, as she peered at you. Her face, to most people, would read as tired, quiet, calm. But you could see through that front- she was scared.

You felt bad- she had gotten sucked into this world at your bequest. All of the beauty and the artistry was being overshadowed by the webs of speculation spun by bullies.

Jake boarded the bus a moment later, sauntering down the aisle of the bus casually. “Just got news that Emily had all her main test results came back normal, but she was dehydrated and exhausted. She and Ava are going to spend the night at the hotel and then drive up to join us tomorrow. Josh, we will need to have a meeting about how we are going to move forward- I think we either need to hire her a full-time assistant or put her on leave so she can focus on staying healthy and stress-free.”

Jake sat next to you, reclining back into the bench. “But that’s not what you needed me for,” Jake said, glancing at you and trying to get a read on the situation as she turned to lay the jacket on the table. You communicated as much as you could, trying to stress that you were worried about her.

“Jake, could you try this on really quickly while you let me know who has it out for me? Please?” she asked with a tight smile. He gave her a warmer smile in return as he stood and stripped off his shirt, carefully pulling the jacket on as he talked.

“There really isn’t much to know. Some people have put two and two together about how you’ve been seen carrying outfits and such and have deduced you’re our wardrobe curator. We really do have some smart fans, they have been known to crack codes and such behind some of our stuff and…” Jake trailed off, excited when talking about social media and the cryptic things that have happened. He spoke slower than you did, enunciating each word more heavily. 

“Jake,” you redirected, something that he typically had to do for you. “Yes, well, they think you and Danny are a thing and that you’re a groupie, but that’s obviously irrelevant,” he finished sliding on the jacket and she moved to check something on the side. “…and the threats were about throwing the beer, which did happen, so security is aware, and we will be on a bit more of a lockdown. Look, they talked about shaving your hair off, but I really think that was a joke,” Jake finished with a shrug.

She finished adjusting Jake’s suit and stepped back, gesturing for him to spin. He spun slowly, allowing her to take in the details. “Feel good?” she asked, and he nodded. “Perfect, it can come off then,” she said before sitting back down at her workstation. You and Jake waited for her response to what he’d told her.

“I feel like I’d look pretty hardcore with a shaved head,” she said with a shrug. “Do people hate me because they think I’m with Danny? Or…?” Jake nodded his head as he hung the jacket up. “I think so. I feel like they don’t know who exactly you are either, which fuels the rumors,” Jake replied. 

“Could be worse. Josh made it seem like there was a hit out on me for doing purple for the South Carolina show or something,” she joked. There she is. You and Jake laughed. “No, but I feel like we should do something to solidify who you are and your role,” Jake said. “Yes, give you some recognition too,” you added with a nod. “Like what?” she asked and you both shrugged. “We will figure it out though,” Jake replied with a smile.

The three of you walked into the hotel, you and Jake waiting for her as she went to collect her room key from the front desk. “What’s up with you?” Jake asked quietly. You gave him a confused look and he elaborated. “You could’ve easily told her that information yourself.” You shrugged and began to think up an answer but didn’t have time to respond. “Ready?” she asked you both as she returned. Both of you nodded and followed her towards the elevators.

You and Jake dropped her off at her room, making sure she was settled before heading down the hall to your own room. Jake sat on the bed closest to you, always letting you take the bed closest to the window. You began to lay out your suitcase, working quickly and quietly as you felt Jake’s eyes on you.

“Josh.” His voice was soft but strong. He didn’t seem mad, more concerned.

“Hmm?” you hummed, hoping he had something minor to ponder about or ask.

“You need to be honest with me please”, he said quietly.

You turned to face him. Sure enough, he wasn’t angry, just concerned. Maybe a little irritated, but nothing extreme. You’d seen him mad, and this wasn’t it.

You knew you needed to be honest, but to what degree?

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writer's note: just a gentle reminder that everything I write is completely and utterly fiction

much love to my forever editor: @joshs-jonch

Masterlist- to start at the beginning

Your head was pounding and your stomach was doing flips when you woke up. Sake doesn’t sit well with ice cream. You barely made it to the toilet before everything from the night before came back up.

Leaning back against the cool porcelain of the tub, you took a few deep breaths to steady yourself before flushing the toilet and moving to the sink. The idea of toothpaste made you sick to your stomach again, so you used the bottle of mouthwash on the counter to quickly rinse out your mouth.

The clock on the bedside table read 8:15 am and you groaned before flopping back into bed. There’s no way I’m going back to sleep now. The thought of breakfast nearly made you sick again, but you knew that by the time you were truly awake, you’d need something bland on your stomach. Or greasy. You decided to chance it and texted the group.

You: anyone up? I need something greasy, stat.

You waited for a reply, figuring everyone else was likely still asleep. A minute later your phone pinged.

Danny: I’m up! There’s a café down the street, who’s down?

Jake: I’ll get Josh up. Give me a few.

Danny: Meet in the lobby?

Jake: perfect

You picked out a shirt and jeans and slipped on a pair of Birkenstocks before throwing your hair into a bun. Checking the mirror on your way out, you realized you looked rough. They’ve seen me look worse.

Danny was the first one you saw when you got down to the lobby. “Good morning,” he greeted with a warm smile. He always looked impeccable, not a single curl out of place. “I guess you slept well?” you asked as you took a seat at the bench beside where he was standing. He chuckled. “No, actually, Sam was mumbling in his sleep the entire night. I think having sugar late at night really just wreaks havoc on him.” 

You nodded in response. “Is he up?” you asked. “Oh, no, he won’t be up for another hour probably. Maybe more. I’ll just bring him something back,” Danny replied as he turned to face you. “You feeling okay?” he asked, his eyes closing slightly as he searched your face. “Oh, just had a little too much to drink last night. Do I look that rough?” you asked as your hands raised to your hair, which you tried to smooth out. “Oh, no, you look great! As always! You just, um, seemed a little off is all. Wanted to make sure you’re doing okay. Touring is… a lot” he added, giving you a slight grin. “Nope, I’m great. Tired, hungover, but still good!” you said, standing when you saw Josh and Jake exit the elevator.

Josh looked like he felt about the same way you did. “Morning,” he said quietly to you and Danny. “You okay, brother?” Danny asked him as he wrapped his arm around Josh’s shoulders. “Don’t jostle him too much or he may get sick,” Jake said with a laugh. “That bad?” Danny asked and Josh nodded as he pulled a pair of dark sunglasses out of his pocket and slid them on. You pulled your own pair out of your purse as you all walked outside, the bright sunlight burning your eyes. “You too?” Jake asked as you walked down the stretch of sidewalk. “Oh yeah, I was pretty sick this morning. I’m better now,” you replied as you watched Danny hit the button for the cross walk. “Ice cream and sake doesn’t mix,” Josh added, repeating your own sentiments. Jake laughed as he followed Danny across the street, you and Josh following behind.

“Ah, Josh, they have bloody Mary’s! Your favorite!” Jake teased after you all had been seated at the breakfast place, menus opened. Josh looked up over his sunglasses at Jake, “I don’t even want to think about vodka right now.” Jake and Danny laughed and you shot Josh a sympathetic look from across the table. You took a sip of your black coffee, something you only craved when you were hungover. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink coffee black. Last night really killed you, didn’t it?” Danny asked from his spot across from you. You nodded your answer before turning back to the menu. 

“Huevos rancheros, thank god,” Jake muttered from beside you. “That’s definitely what I’m getting,” you said, closing your menu decisively. Jake shot you a smile, “good choice. Great minds think alike.” Jake pointed to Josh and whispered to you. “He’s going to get eggs benedict, and I will bet money on that.” You chuckled before shaking your head. “I know better than to bet against a twin.”

Sure enough, Jake was right- Josh ordered eggs benedict with a side of potatoes. Danny got a BLT and you and Jake ordered huevos rancheros. “A BLT? At,” you checked your phone, “9 am?” He nodded, “I don’t usually love breakfast food. And I’m always down for a BLT.” Josh pointed at him. “Daniel, bacon IS a breakfast food. As is the toast that it comes on.” Danny rolled his eyes. “The lettuce makes it a lunch or dinner food. Or brunch. I’ll give you brunch-adjacent at best,” Danny replied, and Josh chuckled.

The four of you discussed plans for the day and the three musicians discussed the setlist. “Look, I’d like to never do Highway Tune ever again,” Josh said, pausing to take a bite of his food before continuing. “Shit is overplayed, overrated and just… I’m ready to cut it from the setlist. Forever.” 

Jake shook his head, “it’s what got us here, Josh. It stays.” Josh raised his hand, about to continue when Danny spoke up. “Why don’t we do some sort of combination? Add something to Safari? Give them both, but mashed up? You know how much they love it when we give them something different. And, this way you don’t have to sing the whole thing, but we still pay homage to the original stuff,” Danny added, giving a compromise. Josh sat back, giving his suggestion some thought. “What do you think?” Josh asked, turning to lock eyes with you as he waited for an answer. “Oh, I am not the person to be asking. I’m not even completely sure what songs you’re talking about” you said, raising both hands up.

Danny pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it to show you a music video playing on the screen. “This one is Highway Tune,” he said and you turned the volume up just enough to hear the song. You gasped as soon as you saw the band come into view. “How long ago was this?” you asked. 

“Has to be about… seven? Eight years?” Jake replied, taking another sip of his coffee. “And that’s you?” you asked Josh as you turned the screen to show him. He nodded slightly, giving you a reserved smile. “God, you guys were so young. It’s crazy to see how far you’ve come,” you mused as you watched the video, taking everything in. 

“I will say, I think our style has evolved. Thank goodness,” Danny pondered with a chuckle. “I don’t know… I think the completely ripped shirt was a good look for Josh,” you replied with a laugh. Josh rolled his eyes, “let’s not talk about it.” 

“No, let’s!” Jake shot back, pointing at him. “You were such a hotshot back then. Would you believe that he pulled the most girls out of all of us? Looking like a guy straight out of a frat. Do you remember that one girl that produced the video for us? At the bar? Such a classy guy,” Jake reminisced, Josh clearly uncomfortable as he fidgeted with the napkin on the table in front of him. “Or,” Danny continued, “the one girl Texas? Where we had to wait outside of her apartment in the van because her roommate was home? God, that was hilarious. Luckily it only took about five minutes, but I remember Sam was so high that…” “Okay. That’s enough.” Josh snapped, giving Jake and Danny a look before looking over to you. Clearly they’d hit a nerve.

“Well,” you started, wanting to change the conversation, “if Safari Song is the other one similar in sound to this one, I think it’ll be a good mix. Maybe worth a try? Don’t listen to me though, I don’t know anything about music,” you finished. Luckily your food came out, providing another distraction. Josh nodded after taking a bite of his food, “I’m down to try it at sound check.” You all turned to face Jake who rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement.

“What will Sam think?” you asked, breaking the silence. “I don’t think he will care. He likes Highway okay, but he’s always down to do some creative mixing. He was the one that suggested adding snippets of new songs into stuff on the last few tours,” Danny added as he took another bite of his sandwich. Danny pulled the waiter to the side and gave him the to-go order for Sam. The rest of breakfast was spent discussing how the mashup would work, Josh adamant that he would not be singing more than a few lines from the one song.

“You really don’t like that song, do you?” you asked Josh as you all headed back towards the hotel. “No, I don’t. Least favorite one out of all our discography. It’s just…” he paused, picking the right word. “Stale.” You laughed at his choice. “Stale?” you questioned, and he nodded. “I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s just… old. It’s not us anymore. Neither is Safari, but I’d rather do that one.” 

You nodded as you walked side by side. “Like, is there just something you never want to make another one of? Like a specific piece?” he asked, trying to help relate his feelings to yours. You thought for a minute before replying. “I’d be happy to never make another jumpsuit.” He looked at you, his eyes wide before you started laughing. “Josh, I’m kidding. I love the jumpsuits! To be honest, there’s not really anything I don’t like to make. I can get pretty tired of doing beadwork and repetitive motions, but everything I do is different. Kind of like how each time you perform, there’s something different. The crowd, the venue, the specific way you sing each part.” He thought for a minute, taking in what you’d said. “You know, you’re kind of right,” he replied, clearly thinking more deeply.

Everyone returned to their rooms for a bit and you chose to take a quick shower. You slicked your hair back into a ponytail before putting a more professional outfit back on and doing a light application of makeup. You were packed up and back on your bus within an hour, ready to head to the venue. Albert boarded the bus a few minutes after you, walking back to visit before everyone was ready to get on the way.

“How are you doing Albert?” you asked as he shuffled past you, peeking into the closet to view the outfits you’d been working on. “Oh, I’m just dandy, sweet girl,” you said, turning to give you a smile. “Can I touch them?” he asked, pointing to the suits hanging on the left side of the closet. “Of course!” you replied, turning your desk chair so you could face him. 

You watched as his weathered hands moved carefully over the floral embellishments on the side of Jake’s suit for Georgia. “You are truly talented,” Albert whispered, giving you a wide smile as he pointed to Josh’s Georgia jumpsuit. “I love the yellow. What show is yellow?” Albert asked. “They’re for Georgia. I don’t know why, but I just felt like Atlanta needed some yellow,” you replied, and Albert nodded. “I like that. You’d think Florida would be yellow for being the sunshine state,” Albert said. “I thought about that. But I am doing red for Florida, switching it up. It was actually Jake’s idea- he wanted to end on red for the first leg of this tour, and I felt like that was a good idea. Ending at the beginning almost,” you said, watching as Albert ran his hands over Josh’s red jumpsuit. Albert chuckled as he turned back to face you. “He’s almost like Elvis isn’t he? With the jumpsuits?” You nodded and gave Albert a smile. “Elvis, but with a bit more rock. Little more modern too,” you added.

As if on cue, Josh walked back into the workspace, sitting down on the bench with a huff. “We were just talking about how you and Elvis have so many parallels,” you told Josh, his face cracking into a smile. “He may have me beat on the heartthrob level, but I have a better vocal range,” he said with a laugh. Albert chuckled as he headed back up to his seat. 

Josh’s face fell and he turned to you. “Can I ride with you? They’re driving me nuts trying to figure out how to combine the two songs. I don’t know why it must be done by tonight, but Sam liked the idea and now it’s all or nothing,” Josh said as he rubbed his temples with his thumb and pointer finger. “Of course, Josh. You never have to ask- you’re always welcome to ride with me,” you replied, giving him a soft smile. You pointed to your backpack, “do you want some Advil?” 

Josh nodded, “I could use some. My head is killing me.” You fished the bottle out of your bag and handed it to him as you walked over to the mini fridge in the kitchenette. You returned with two bottles of water, exchanging one for the bottle of pills back. You both took two pills and laughed after swallowing them with some water. “I feel like no matter what, we are always in sync,” Josh said with a smile as he leaned back against the pillows on the bench. You nodded in agreement, reflecting on how true the statement was.

Josh relaxed back into the pillows on the bench, watching you as you did a double check of everything you’d need for the night. “I’m sorry about the vulgarity of some of the topics at breakfast,” he said after a moment. He was more relaxed, the medicine starting to work on relieving his headache. 

“It’s fine. I feel like we all were a little crazy in our late teens and early 20’s,” you replied, giving him a smile. “I really wasn’t. They made it seem like I was this jerk, just hooking up all the time. I promise that I really wasn’t,” he added. You turned to give him a shrug. “Even if you did, it wouldn’t matter. Although I don’t think you could have ever been a jerk. Ever.” He chuckled. “You’d be surprised. The ounce of fame we had went to my head a little too fast. Front man syndrome. I’d like to think I’ve settled into things well though,” he said quietly. “Josh, you’re a good person. Solid. A good head on your shoulders. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” He nodded slowly, his eyes trailing up to meet yours. “That means a lot coming from you.”  

You both settled into your own quiet routines- you busying yourself with preparing the clothes for that night’s performance, Josh flipping through his sketchbook. By the time the bus pulled into the backlot of the venue, Josh was fast asleep and snoring lightly, his leg twitching every so often. You texted the group chat

You: Josh is passed out. What time do you guys have sound check?

Danny: Emily said we have about an hour. We are still working on this combo but will come get him when we need him.

You stood and went to lower the curtains on the windows in the workspace and close the curtain dividing the front and back of the bus before laying on the opposite bench. They’ll get me up when Josh gets up. You turned to watch him, the rhythmic rising and falling of his chest lulling you to sleep.

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The lights flipped on, rudely waking you from your sleep. Sam was staring down at you and jumped back when you opened your eyes. “God, I didn’t think you were breathing there for a moment,” he said, leaning forward to pat your arm. 

“What the fuck are you being so loud for,” Josh mumbled as he sat up. “I am not being loud,” Sam shot back, turning to face his brother. “Sam, I hate to break it to you, but you’re almost always loud,” Jake replied as he leaned against the wall of the bus. “We need our front man,” Sam said, turning and starting to pull Josh up from the bench. “We need an objective third party too,” Sam added, turning to you and reaching his hand out to help you up off the bench. 

“What am I being objective to,” you said as you and Josh followed them off of the bus. “We need you to listen to what we came up with. See if it’s any good,” Sam said excitedly as he skipped down the stairs. “I think it’s going to be really good. Really get people excited,” Sam added as he started towards the venue.

You gave Jake a look as you walked, and he shrugged. “We won’t know until we hear it all together,” he admitted. Danny was walking behind you with Josh, explaining something he’d scribbled out on a piece of paper.

Once you got inside the venue, you all walked in the direction of what you figured was the stage. You popped out a side door and ended up in the general admission area on the floor, security from the venue following behind you. “Well, I guess we are almost in the right place,” Sam said with a grin before taking off across the arena floor, reaching a full sprint as he ran towards the barricade. You all watched him run, laughing as he slid into the barricade, tripping as his feet got caught up in the metal feet of the fence. 

Jake grinned at you before doing a cartwheel and landing on his butt, leaning back and laughing from the floor. Danny and Josh watched the shenanigans from over the paper they’d been studying, both of their heads tilting back as they laughed. Josh handed Danny the paper and started strutting towards the stage, switching the way he was theatrically walking with every few steps. You couldn’t help but laugh as you watched him- something about the almost cartoon way he moved absolutely tickled you.

You and Danny walked to the stage normally, watching as the Kiszka brothers made their way up onto the stage, continuing their antics. “Have they always been like this?” you asked. Danny grinned, “always. Some things never change.” Danny made his way up onto the stage and you leaned against the barricade, watching as they sorted out their gear.

Josh came over to the edge of the stage while his brothers got their instruments tuned and adjusted. He had his in-ear monitors slung around his neck and a microphone in hand as he came and plopped down on the edge of the stage, kicking his feet over the edge. “See, now, if I had this view each night, I don’t think I’d ever get nervous,” he said with a chuckle as he placed a monitor in his left ear. Does he mean me? Or probably the empty space. 

“It’s so quiet without the fans,” you mused, turning to look out across the arena. “To think that every space will be filled is just… surreal,” you said after turning back to face him. “It is. It’s a dream,” he replied. He pointed to Jake, who was bent over, discussing something with one of the sound people. “It’s really his dream but,” Josh pointed to Sam and Danny, “I think we are all happy to be along for the ride.” 

You grinned, “I didn’t think designing for a band would be my dream, but here we are.” He gave you a wide smile as Jake walked up behind him, nudging his leg with his foot. “Come on, let’s give it a shot,” Jake said, leaning forward to offer Josh a hand as he helped him up off the floor.

The creative process behind their music was unlike anything you’d ever seen. It was a true four-way collaboration as they all worked together to create something completely new, yet familiar. The band may have been Jake’s dream, but the talent each member had was undeniable. Watching these men go from doing cartwheels and goofing off to absolute craftsmen, oozing rock n’ roll and talent as they worked out kinks in the song was astounding. These were two completely different sets of people. They were congruent, yes, but the group on stage was not the same as the men you’d sat and had breakfast with earlier in the day.

Once they’d sound checked another, full song, they all came up to the front of the stage. You were still staring in wide-eyed amazement when Danny talked, breaking your trance. “What did you think?” he asked as he handed his drumsticks off to an assistant before sitting down on the edge of the stage.

“Amazing,” you answered quietly, unable to give more than that. “Well, that’s a given,” Sam said as he slid off the stage. Sam tried to vault over the barricade but ended up falling back into Jake, who had also jumped down onto the main floor. Danny pushed the barricade aside and the rest of them filed out onto the main floor. “Give us an actual review, please,” Jake asked as you all headed back the way you came. 

“I can see why people fight for a spot at the barricade,” you answered honestly. “You guys are beyond talented. It’s truly something special seeing you guys together,” you added, hoping you weren’t overdoing it. Josh bumped your shoulder with his, giving you a grin, “I’m glad you liked it.”

Emily appeared above you, leaned against the railing of one of the seated sections. “What the hell are you doing down there?” she barked. “Well, we finished sound check and…” Sam started. Emily pointed towards the doors at the back end of the arena, “they’re about to let GA in! Get the hell off the floor!” Everyone exchanged panicked looks as you took off towards the side of the giant arena, looking for the doors you’d come through.

You had all barely made it through the doors to the backstage area when you heard the crowd enter the arena. Sam opened the door just enough for you all to watch the fans file in, security shouting as they attempted to control the chaos. Everyone watched in silence as they watched the various people and groups coming onto the arena floor. 

“We like to read the signs,” Danny whispered from beside you, pointing out the various signs people were holding. “Oh, that is lewd,” Jake said with a laugh, pointing out a girl holding a not-so-subtle sign about a blowjob. “And look at that, she’s a Danny girl,” Sam laughed as he slapped Danny on the shoulder. Danny shook his head and rolled his eyes. “They are definitely going to confiscate that,” Josh said, pointing to a girl carrying a flag with a giant meme featuring Jake on it. “God, I hope not. That shit is hilarious,” Jake replied as he laughed.

After a few minutes of people watching, you all headed towards backstage. “I need some lunch. Or dinner. Whatever time it is, I’m hungry” Sam grumbled. Sam spotted Emily in Jake’s dressing room and yelled her name.

Emily came over to the group, looking incredibly puny. “Emily, are you okay?” Danny asked. She nodded and went to sit in a chair outside the room. “Great. What’s up?” she asked. You gave her a look. She hasn’t told them she’s pregnant? 

“What’s for lunch? Dinner? Linner?” Sam asked. “Uh, barbeque. And seafood,” Emily said, making a face. “What’s wrong with barbeque? I thought that was something you liked,” Jake said, watching Emily as she shifted in the chair. “No, I do just… not today,” she answered with a weak smile. Sam backed up slowly, “are you sick? I am NOT getting another stomach bug on tour, I will NOT!” Sam exclaimed, raising his hands. 

“I’m not sick,” Emily started, looking at everyone’s concerned faces. “I’m actually pregnant,” she said after a beat, looking from person to person in order to gauge their reactions. Josh was the first one forward, carefully pulling Emily into a hug. “Congratulations,” he whispered, squeezing her shoulders gently as he pulled back from her. Jake was next, giving her a careful hug as he rubbed her back lightly. Sam pointed at her belly as he moved forward. “This was a planned baby? Or?” he asked, and Emily laughed. “Not really planned so much, but we are happy about it!” she answered as Sam hugged her. Danny was last to move forward, pulling her into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m so excited for you,” he said softly, and she pulled back, tears in her eyes. Sam turned to you, noticing your smile. “You knew?” he asked, and you nodded. “I needed help reading the test,” Emily clarified.

Sam looked at her, suddenly worried. “Does this mean you won’t be with us for the entire tour?” Emily nodded. “I probably won’t be going out of the country. But Jack is very capable and will be taking over more of my job in the next few weeks.” Everyone nodded, clearly saddened, but also excited for what was to come.

Emily headed out to check on “linner” as Sam was calling it, and everyone went their separate ways. You rounded up a couple of venue staff to get the outfits for the night’s show from the bus. You carried Josh’s jumpsuit in and directed where each of the other outfits went before knocking on Josh’s door. He opened it and stepped back to let you in. 

Josh grinned as he watched you hang the jumpsuit up on the rack against the far wall. He came over to inspect it, running his hands over the fabric flowers adorning the black sparkly material. “These need to be in a museum somewhere,” he mused. “Yeah, the rock n roll hall of fame,” you said with a chuckle. He tilted his head as he thought. “Maybe. But I would make sure your name was in bold on the plaque.” 

You laughed and brushed him off. “Yeah, put my name right under yours and ‘one of the greatest vocalists of our generation,’ that’ll be hilarious!” He wasn’t laughing though when he turned to look at you, his face serious, “I really don’t think you realize how talented you are.” You chuckled. “If I’m good enough for you guys, then I must be pretty good. And I’ll take that,” you replied. He nodded, finally at least slightly pleased with your answer.  

Sammy popped his head into the room and looked from you to Josh and back again. “Linner is here!” he said quickly before popping out as quickly as he’d appeared. You and Josh shook your heads but followed behind him.

“Carolina barbecue is unmatched,” Danny murmured as he took another bite of his food. “Whatever,” Sam replied as he rolled his eyes. “Don’t start,” Jake warned, knowing Sam was about two seconds away from a rant about meat eating and sustainability.  “You just don’t want to hear it because it’s true and you know it,” Sam shot back and Josh raised his hand, Sam falling silent. “You get it,” Sam whispered to you and you smiled, appreciating whatever alliance you could get with him. You thought back to the first week of the tour and how different things had been.

Josh finished first and threw his plate in the trash. “I’m going to go get ready,” he said, giving the group a smile. “Josh, we have…” Sam checked his phone, “two hours.” Josh nodded, “I know. Just a little antsy. It’s fine.” He turned and disappeared into his dressing room and you watched as Jake and Danny exchanged looks. 

“I thought he had gotten over that,” Danny whispered. “What?” you asked, concerned over what they were clearly worried about. “Josh used to get really anxious before shows. Back for a few years with some of the bigger venues and stuff. We’d know he was struggling a little bit when he’d get ready super early and just sit, completely ready. He hasn’t gotten ready this early in… a while,” Danny explained as Jake nodded. “I’ll go check in,” Jake said as he rose from his seat. You all watched him go and you couldn’t help wishing you knew how to help.

You, Danny and Sam chatted for a few minutes before Jake returned. “He asked for you,” he said after settling back into the couch. “Me?” you questioned, and Jake nodded. “Is there something wrong with the jumpsuit?” you asked, slightly panicked. “No, no, I think it’s fine. I know he had a question about something, but I don’t think it’s anything bad,” Jake clarified. You nodded and headed towards Josh’s dressing room.

The door was slightly open so you walked in, knocking on the door as you entered. Josh was sitting on the couch in his dressing room, his black jumpsuit a stark and glittery contrast to the beige couch. He smiled when he saw you and patted the couch next to him. “What’s up? Everything fit okay?” you asked as you leaned forward, waiting for his permission to touch the front of the jumpsuit to double-check the fit. He nodded and you gripped the fabric, slightly adjusting it. “Everything is fine,” he said quietly, “I just needed a calm presence.”

You slowly looked up at him. “Me? Calming?” you said with a chuckle, “I don’t feel like I am.” He shook his head, “no, you’re very calming. Soothing. Your aura and everything.” You took a second and nodded. “Well, then I’m here. To be a calming presence,” you said with a smile. He nodded and stood, going to the table in the corner of the room. “Do you want a hot toddy?” he asked, and you nodded. “Sure. Just put like, half the whiskey you put in yours in mine please,” you added with a chuckle, and he gave you a salute in response.  

You and Josh sat in comfortable silence as you both sipped on your warm drinks. Josh looked a little funny fully dressed in his elaborate jumpsuit and you in your normal clothes. He was slightly more relaxed, the whiskey helping take the edge off. Jake came in a little while later, Danny trailing behind him. They showed off their outfits, doing a little spin for you to see the entire thing. 

“Feel good?” you asked, and they both nodded. “I love the boots,” Danny added, turning to show Jake the embellished flowers you’d painstakingly added to the sides. “Those are cool as hell,” Jake said as he bent to examine them closer. “Can I make a request for flower shoes?” he asked, and you nodded. “Your boots for Georgia have flowers. It’s part of the fabric, but still pretty cool,” you replied. He grinned in agreement as Sam flew through the doors. 

“They said we gotta go now,” he said out of breath as he spun quickly to show you the fit of his suit. Sure enough, the stagehands were gathering outside of the dressing room, Emily appearing and calling for the group to hurry. “Good luck!” you said to them as you reached forward to quickly squeeze Josh’s hand. He turned to face you. “You got this. Just another show, just like the others,” you said quietly, and he nodded. He squeezed your hand back before letting go and following his brothers down the hall and towards the stage.

You watched the show from the TV mounted on the wall in Josh’s dressing room, working intermittently on some more sketches for the outfits for the rest of the tour. The show went as it always did- absolutely perfectly. The group was perfectly in sync even though they decided not to play the mashup that night. You watched the encore and waited for them to enter the dressing room after they had exited the stage. It was always surreal to see them on the screen and then, moments later, standing right next to you.

Danny was the first one back, waving to you from the hall as he headed to take his shower. Sam was next, coming to hand you his jacket, which he had taken off while on stage. Josh was next and he walked into the room, clearly preoccupied and deep in thought. He closed the door and started to unzip his jumpsuit, pulling it down and off his arms and chest. The fabric slid down past his waist, slinging dangerously lay on his hips. 

You cleared your throat, reminding him that you were still here. He turned to look at you, wide-eyed, as he pulled the fabric back up slightly. “Shit, sorry!” he exclaimed, and you turned to gather your stuff up, shoving it into your bag as you headed towards the door. “No, my fault! It’s your space, I don’t even know why I am in here,” you mumbled. 

He reached out to gently grab your arm. He was warm and his touch sent a jolt of electricity up your arm. “You don’t have to go. I will just refrain from getting butt naked out here,” he chuckled, and you relaxed. “Unless…” he joked, raising an eyebrow. “Nope, I’m going to get a pretzel” you said quickly as you headed back out the door.

You leaned against the wall after you had closed the door, waiting until you heard the shower start on the other side of the door to breathe. You zipped your backpack and slung it over your shoulder as you left in search of a pretzel.

As you walked and asked for directions, you thought about what had happened. Something about the way the fabric had just draped, barely covering him, made your stomach do flips. The way he didn’t want you to leave, had reached out for you. He was just being nice. You shook your head and turned to watch the groups of people leaving the arena.

You found a stand still selling food and purchased a cup of pretzel bites and stopped by a bar for a margarita. You headed back to the backstage area, the security guard luckily recognizing you. As you headed back through the barricade, you heard a commotion behind you. You turned to see a group of fans waving at you and gesturing for you to come over to them. You obliged, although your previous experiences made you nervous.

“Hey,” one girl greeted, giving you a smile. You nodded and smiled in greeting and waited for the group to speak. “We were wondering… we’ve seen you a lot. On twitter and stuff,” one girl started, talking quickly. “Are you dating Danny?” another girl interrupted, her tone serious. You chuckled and shook your head. “No, I’m just their designer. I am not in a relationship with any of them. Well, beyond friendship,” you answered honestly. The group nodded and you could tell that only some of them believed you. “I promise,” you continued with a smile. The group chattered and you waved to them as you turned to leave. “Have a great night!” you said with another smile before walking back down the hall and taking a long sip of your margarita.

When you got backstage, you noticed that everyone was packing up and getting ready to go. Sam pointed to your cup of pretzels, and you held it out, letting him take one. “Shit, these are good,” he mumbled. You offered Jake one and he shook his head. “I’m just ready to go to sleep,” he said, clearly exhausted as he shifted his weight from one side to the other. 

Josh was the last one out and emerged with his wet curls still clinging to his face. “We ready?” he asked, and the group turned to look at you. They were all carrying their own clothes, something you weren’t used to seeing. “Here, let me take these,” you started, but they turned away. “We can carry it out, it’s fine,” Danny said. You shrugged and took the boot box off the table “I’ll never turn down help.” “Shall we?” Jake asked and Emily, who had appeared at the end of the hall, nodded.

Everyone placed their outfits where you instructed on the wardrobe bus. Jake, Sam and Josh told you they’d see you at the hotel before heading to their own bus. “Can I sleep here?” Danny asked, gesturing to one of the benches. “Of course,” you said as you began your cleaning process. “Sam has continued to talk in his sleep, and I need a break. It's always quiet on your bus,” Danny explained as he laid down on the bench, watching you as you worked.

You looked up and smiled at Albert as he made his way back to you and Danny. “Alright, we are about four and a half hours away and will be stopping for gas and snacks about halfway,” Albert said, giving you a smile. “Perfect. Thanks for keeping us updated,” you replied, Danny agreeing. Albert gave you both a nod before heading back to his seat.

You worked on quietly cleaning the clothes as Danny fell asleep. He mumbled a little in his sleep too, and you chuckled at the irony. Before you knew it, the clothes and shoes were cleaned and neatly put away. You had started your fifth check over the clothing for the South Carolina show when the bus came to a stop. Danny was still fast asleep, and you decided you’d ask the others if you should wake him. You got off the bus and waved to Albert, who was filling the bus’s gas tank. You shivered as you walked towards the other bus, where Jake and Sam were coming down the stairs.

“Danny is asleep, I didn’t know if I should wake him,” you said. Jake shook his head, “nah, let him sleep. We left Josh asleep too. We will get them some snacks for later, but they’ll probably just sleep until we get there.” You nodded and followed them towards the convenience center part of the gas station.

You felt a hand reach for yours and you jumped, twirling quickly to see who had touched you. You swung around and saw Josh, hair a mess and eyes partially closed, reaching out for you. He was clearly still half-asleep. “I thought I heard you out here,” he said with a grin as he threaded his arm through yours and headed in the direction of his brothers. “I thought you were asleep?” you asked, and he chuckled. “Yeah, but I’m up now. I’m not one to miss out on a gas station taquito,” he replied with a grin. You scrunched your nose and shook your head as you both walked into the gas station and headed your separate ways.

“We got Danny’s order,” Sam said when you approached the counter with your picks. “Great, thanks,” you replied with a smile as Jake gestured to the clerk about what items to put in what bags. Josh was the last to the counter, half a taquito sticking out of his mouth. “Josh, you literally have drool on your face,” Sam teased and Josh shot him a deadly look as he placed his items on the counter and wiped at his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Jake paid for the order and handed you the bag containing the items for you and Danny. “See you on the flip,” Sam said with a salute as he headed back onto the bus. Jake nodded to you and Josh squeezed your shoulder before climbing back up the stairs to their bus.

You fished out the Reese’s cups from the bag and handed them to Albert after you had boarded the bus. “How’d you know?” he asked, and you laughed. “Your wife always packs you Reese’s cups, I see them in your lunch! I figured you like them at least a little,” you clarified. “You’re the best,” Albert said with a gracious smile. “Need me to heat this up?” you asked and gestured to his coffee cup. “It’s still warm! Thank you though. You’d better settle in, we have probably another three hours to go,” Albert replied and you gave him a smile before heading back towards the workspace.

Setting the bag on the table, you quickly removed Danny’s items and placed the drink in the fridge. You set the food out on the side of the table closest to where he laid, still fast asleep. Cracking open your Gatorade, you took a few sips as you watched Danny sleep. 

He looked so peaceful, his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeply, his hands resting gently on his chest. You dug in the bag for your nerds gummy clusters and opened the package carefully before shaking a few into your hand. Something about the crunchy, sweet and tangy candy quieted your brain. You ate a few more before setting the package on your desk and getting back to checking the clothes for tomorrow’s performance.

 ___________________________________________

You woke up to Danny gently rubbing his hand along your arm. “Hey, we are here,” he said quietly, seemingly still half-asleep himself. You nodded and pushed yourself up to sit on the bench where you’d been asleep. Danny handed you your suitcase and backpack. “Thanks,” you smiled as you took the luggage and followed him off of the bus. “Good night Albert! Thanks for getting us here,” you said, giving the older man a squeeze as you headed off the bus. “Sleep well!” he replied as he turned to finish his post-drive checklist.

Sam handed Danny his luggage and everyone walked into the lobby together. Emily was sitting in the lobby and rose when she saw everyone. She was clearly tired- probably more tired than all of you combined as she worked to keep everything running smoothly while also growing a human. She handed out the key cards and reminded everyone of the schedule for tomorrow. “Tomorrow’s time is 2:00 pm for sound check, so we need to leave here by 1:00 pm to get there without issues. Breakfast is in the dining room from 7:00 to 10:00, although I doubt you’ll be awake for that, so food is on you. Good night,” she finished before turning and heading down the hall.

The ride up to the third floor was silent, everyone exhausted. You checked your phone, the time glaring at you. 3:15 am. “Well, I’m certainly not setting an alarm,” Jake said with a chuckle as you all filed off of the elevator. “We will see you guys at some point I guess,” Danny agreed, following behind Sam who was making a beeline for their room. “Good night everyone,” Josh said with a wave as he opened the door to his and Jake’s room. 

You slid your key into the door beside the twins and chuckled. “This whole floor and you got stuck next to us, how lucky,” Jake said with a laugh and you shrugged. “Better than with the two sleep-mumblers,” you replied and Jake nodded in agreement. “Night,” Jake said quietly, and you repeated the sentiment before closing the door.

You stripped off your clothes from the day and put on your pajamas, glad to be wearing something warm and comfortable. You went through the motions of brushing your teeth and washing your face before plugging in your phone and crawling under the fluffy duvet. You decided to set an alarm for 11:00 am, knowing you definitely needed to be up by then, before flipping the bedside lamp off.

_______________________________________________

The first thing you noticed was the flashing light, which was strange because the blaring alarm was practically shaking your bed. You shot up, taking in your surroundings for a beat before grabbing your phone off the charger. 4:23 am. The smell was familiar. Fire. You shoved your feet into your shoes and grabbed your purse before swinging open your door, surveying the hall. 

The hall was smoky, and you started to panic. You felt a hand on your arm, and you turned to see Josh grabbing onto you for the second time that night. This time, however, his eyes were wide with panic. “Come on, the stairs are that way,” Jake said, pulling both of you behind him. 

Jake pounded on Sam and Danny’s door, yelling as he did so. People were starting to flood into the hallway, the volume rising as people started panicking. The door flung open and a petrified Sam stood in the doorway, shirtless and in his underwear. “Sam, put on some fucking pants, let’s go!” Jake snapped as he pushed his way into their room. Danny was up and pulling on a sweatshirt, throwing clothes at Sam. “Does everyone have their wallets?” you asked, pulling Josh along with you into their room. Everyone did a quick mental check before you all headed out towards the stairs.

There were tons of people making their way outside, all of them seemingly coming from nowhere. Once you’d made it out to the parking lot, the group headed towards Emily and some of the other roadies who were standing by the buses and vans. You all turned to watch as smoke billowed out of the windows on the far side of the building. 

“What a fucking disaster,” Jake mused as everyone watched. “You can say that again,” Emily said, a hand protectively over her stomach. “Well, at least we have a place to sleep,” Danny sighed, pointing to the buses. “Did Albert and Dean make it out?” you asked, searching the faces for your friend. “I’m here!” Albert said as he walked around the corner of the bus, “can’t get rid of me that easily!” Everyone laughed, exhaustion clearly settling in. “Well, I’m going to sleep,” Sam said before heading onto the bus.

Everyone worked out sleeping arrangements, Emily deciding to take everyone who didn’t usually travel on a bus to the hotel down the street. She called and reserved the rooms, doing a head count as she coordinated. The guys, along with you, decided to just sleep in the bunks. As the rest of the group loaded into the vans, you finally felt like you could relax. Everyone got out, everything is fine. You continued to watch the firefighters working to contain the fire, which you’d found out was on the opposite side of the building on the second floor. The parking lot had started to empty as the hotel relocated people, the sun starting to rise.

It was only when you turned to get onto the bus that you realized Josh was still holding onto you, one arm around your waist. “Josh?” you said and he slowly turned his head to face you, still entranced by the ongoing action. “You okay?” you asked. 

You watched as he returned his consciousness back to himself, letting go of you. “Yeah, sorry,” he stammered as he took a step back, away from you. “It’s fine, Josh. But, are you okay?” you asked again. He nodded slowly. Jake turned to watch his brother, assessing him. “I think it’s time to get some sleep. Come on Josh, let’s go,” Jake said quietly as he reached for his twin. Josh nodded, following behind Jake. “Good night,” they mumbled to you as they headed towards their bus. You decided to do the same thing and unlocked the door to the wardrobe bus, locking it behind you before walking back to your bunk.

You laid there for a moment, letting the stress and worry wash over you. God, all my clothes. My toiletries. But I have my purse. And everyone is okay, that’s the important thing. You fell asleep with your mind swirling with the never-ending anxious thoughts.

­­­________________________________________________

A hand gently rubbing your arm woke you up. You slowly sat up and noticed Jake leaned into your bunk. “Hey, sorry to wake you. We wanted to see if you wanted to go to lunch before we head to the venue. Most of the team is going. The hotel is covering it because of the damage.” 

You nodded and shoved your feet out through the curtains as you sat up. “Is our stuff…” you started and Jake shook his head. “They aren’t letting anyone go back up into the hotel right now because of the smoke and they don’t know if there’s structural damage…” Jake continued on, although you couldn’t hear what he was saying. 

All of a sudden, the night came back into crystal clear focus and the realization hit you, your body going cold. Jake stopped, noticing your eyes widening and your face suddenly going slack. “Jake, my sketchbooks. With all my designs. And I had a panel for your Atlanta suit in my backpack. Oh my god,” you said in a quick, hushed voice. Tears welled in your eyes as you looked up at him, his face reflecting the panic likely etched on your own. “Shit,” was all he was able to utter before you started to sob, the panic and pain surging through your body.

You felt the bunk mattress sink down a moment later and you were pulled into someone’s chest. “All her sketchbooks were in her room, and a part of my suit,” you heard Jake explain to whoever was holding you.

“It’s going to be okay, alright?” you heard Danny whisper in your ear. You nodded into his chest as he held you. “What’s going on?” you heard Sam ask and Jake explained the situation. “Well, shit, can’t we just pay one of those firefighters to go get it? We don’t even know if our rooms were impacted,” Sam replied, his voice bouncing back and forth as he most likely paced. 

“They said it’s going to take at least another day to assess the structural damage before anyone can safely go in to get stuff or see just how bad everything is. It'll probably take longer than that though,” Danny said, shifting to talk to Sam. “Well, fuck,” Sam shot back, now frustrated. “My ukulele was in there. Our clothes!” Sam said, clearly exasperated by the heightened emotions. 

You wiped the tears off your face and turned towards Sam. You noticed Josh was now standing next to Jake, watching you closely. He had deep purple bags under his eyes, his face tired. You noticed how much the twins looked alike when they were both clearly exhausted. “You know what? Everything will work out. I’m an idiot for getting so upset, I’m really sorry. Let’s just go to lunch, and you guys can go do sound check and maybe some of us can go to Walmart or something and get some clothes to last us until the next break,” you said, trying to rally.

“You’re allowed to be upset. This situation sucks,” Danny replied, rubbing your arm. “You know what, you’re right. May as well just take on this adventure, right? We can all get matching shirts, it’ll be great,” Sam added, swinging to the other side of the emotional spectrum. You stood and straightened your clothes. “We all look a little ridiculous, so at least we will be in solidarity,” you said with a chuckle as you assessed everyone’s outfits. You were in a plaid winter pajama set, a stark contrast to Jake’s shorts and sleeveless tank top, Danny’s mismatched sweat suit, Sam in a pair of rainbow shorts and a hoodie, and Josh in one of the casual jumpsuits you’d made for him. Everyone realized how crazy you all looked and laughed along with you.

“How’d you manage to put that on in the middle of an evacuation?” you asked Josh as you headed off the bus. He pointed to his jumpsuit, “this?” You nodded and he shrugged. “It’s pretty easy to get on and off. And I already had it laid out to wear today,” he answered thoughtfully. “I know it’s easy on and off, I did design it,” you said with a laugh, gesturing to the closures. He gave you a smirk but said nothing else as you approached the group gathering between the two buses.

In the daylight, it was easy to see just how crazy everyone looked in either their pajamas, or the first set of clothes they’d been able to put on during the evacuation. “Alright everyone,” Emily shouted above the small crowd of about fifteen people. “We are all going to head down the street to the restaurant that the hotel has set up for lunch. While we eat, I need everyone to fill out a couple of sheets, one is of the belongings that you have left inside, and that’s for insurance purposes for the hotel. Another sheet will be of what kind of clothes, toiletries, et. cetera that you’re now missing that you’ll need for the next few stops. We will be doing a store run during sound check to try to get everything y’all need, so be specific. I have another couple of things to get signed by everyone, but we can discuss that at lunch. If y’all have any questions, some find me. And with that, let’s head to lunch!”

You were already amazed by Emily and her ability to be calm, cool and collected in all situations, but seeing her orchestrate a plan in a set of leopard pajamas and serious bedhead had you realizing she might actually be superhuman. Everyone walked together to the small Italian restaurant down the street, chattering about the events of the day. 

“This is the Dreams in Gold nightmare part two,” Josh said from next to you with a sigh. Sam nodded in agreement, “I think our tours will just forever be cursed.” “Don’t say that, or it’ll manifest,” Jake hissed, and Josh waved him off. “It’s too late- it’s already a shit show,” Sam replied, Josh nodding in agreement.

Everyone sat around a couple of big tables, a waiter passing out menus as Emily passed out the forms and pens. You scanned the lunch menu and made your selections before turning your attention to the forms. 

“Hey, what size pants do I wear?” Sam asked you from across the table, pen suspended in the air as he waited. “Your street size is probably a 30x32 and a large,” you answered. Jake turned to give you a look from his seat next to you. “Do me.” You thought for a moment. “32x30, medium,” you answered easily. “There’s no way you just know that” Jake replied, signaling you got it right. “I think you’re forgetting I have made you all countless outfits and know all of your measurements,” you replied with a laugh. Jake shrugged and went back to assessing the menu.

Josh leaned towards you from his spot on your other side. “Did I do mine right?” he asked in a whisper, pointing to his measurements. “Yes, those look right,” you replied with a smile. “Look right? Or you know they’re right?” he asked. “I’m pretty sure. Your jumpsuits are made a little differently than suit pants and their sizes,” you added, giving him a nudge. He rolled his eyes but nodded in understanding.

A waiter came around to take everyone’s orders. “I’ll do a tuna melt with sweet potato fries,” you told the man, a strikingly handsome guy about your age. He gave you a wink before moving on to take the other orders. Sam tapped his hands on the table in front of you enthusiastically. “A tuna girl too! We will be matching!” Danny made a face at Sam’s comment and Jake laughed. “Matching in smell,” Jake dug, Sam kicking him under the table. “Because your cheese steak with roasted cow is going to smell so much better,” Sam shot back, Jake laughing in response.

Everyone continued to fill out their forms as they ate, struggling to remember everything they had left in their rooms. “Did I take my camera in with us last night?” Sam asked Danny, who shrugged in response. “How much do you guys think toothpaste is worth?” Josh asked in regards to the question about how much your belongings were worth. 

“Yeah, I have no idea how much to value my sketchbooks at. The hours of time and creative energy is just… immeasurable,” you added quietly. “Easily worth a million, maybe even two” Danny replied with a smile, obviously trying to up your spirits. You put down a general guess based on your hourly rate and the hours you’d likely put into the designs. “Jake, how much is my iPad worth?” Josh asked and Jake laughed. “The one from like 2018? With the cracked screen? Maybe $20,” Jake replied. “No use getting a new one when the old one works,” Josh replied with a hint of sass.

After the meal, Emily gathered everyone’s sheets up. She caught you on the way out and pulled you aside. “Can you come help me get the items on everyone’s lists? We will compensate you, I promise,” Emily asked, her eyes tired. “Of course. I need to be back to double check everything with costuming though before they go on,” you replied, giving her a squeeze of reassurance. “We will be, don’t worry. I’m going to probably have to do everything in like, two shifts. At least. Because this,” she gestured to the lists in her hands, “is a lot.”

On the walk back to the hotel parking lot, you helped Emily sort through the paperwork. Danny walked alongside both of you, acting as another set of hands as papers were shuffled. Emily went to give a hotel administrator the paperwork outlining what everyone was missing as you climbed onto the wardrobe bus and prepared to make a master list of all the things you’d need to buy.

Everyone needed at the venue headed to sound check on the other bus while you, Emily and Ava prepared for the supply run. Ava had volunteered to help, ensuring that Olivia could take care of the social media side of things for the afternoon. 

“Okay, so for toothpaste, most people didn’t put a brand or flavor,” Ava said as she read the lists scattered across your workspace. “Well, they’re going to get what they get and not pitch a fit,” Emily replied, rubbing her temples. “Sounds good to me,” Ava said with a nod as she added ‘toothpaste- qty 15’ to the list. Going over everyone’s lists and figuring out how many articles of clothing and of what size was proving to be more difficult.

About an hour later, the three of you loaded into a van and headed to the local Walmart, giant list in-hand. You all worked well together and were able to get the toiletries sorted out within another half-hour, using tote bins and a sharpie to separate the supplies by person. Emily also consulted the rider list from the venues and texts to ensure the right products were being purchased.

Emily sat on a bench in the pharmacy area, stretching her back. “Onto clothes?” she asked, you and Ava nodding. “Do you think it’d be easiest if we each took five people?” Ava suggested and Emily nodded in agreement. “I do not want to do the boys,” Ava added, putting her hands up in defense, Emily agreeing. “I don’t mind doing them,” you replied with a chuckle. “They may not get exactly what they want, but hey, I’m pretty sure I can ensure comfort and fit.”

The three of you split up, Danny, Sam, Jake, Josh and your own totes laid out in your cart. Choosing clothes for yourself was easy, the other four a little harder. You decided to mess with Sam, his personality making it easy, as you picked out more colorful clothes. For Danny, you stuck with mostly tee shirts, grabbing a few pairs of jeans and casual pants. You stayed on track with Jake’s style, picking casual button ups and lighter pairs of pants. For Josh, you grabbed a pack of his signature white, long-sleeved tee shirts and a couple other staples.

Everyone reconvened at the checkout, equally surprised that the entire trip only took three hours. The checkout process took nearly another hour, but you were walking into the venue right at 6:00 pm, having made perfect time.

When you rounded the corner backstage, Sam was the first one you saw. You were surprised that he seemed to be the first one ready, sitting outside the dressing rooms in his suit as he ate a piece of pizza. The gold accents on the right side of his suit were a striking contrast to the pearls aligning the left side of the dark purple suit jacket. 

“If you get sauce on that, I will kill you,” you threatened as you walked over to him. He gestured to the stack of napkins in his lap and the plate he was holding directly under his chin. “I’m being careful!” he mumbled, his mouth full. You rolled your eyes and pointed towards the other rooms. “What’s the status?” you asked and waited for him to swallow. “Jake and Danny are good, Josh is having a zipper issue,” Sam answered, gesturing towards the furthest dressing room. “Shit, okay,” you said as you headed to find Josh.

You knocked gently on the door and heard Josh shout his approval as you entered. Josh had the jumpsuit partially on and was working with the zipper on the front of the jumpsuit. “I can’t get it to unzip,” he grunted, gesturing to the zipper. He released it and the jumpsuit fell loosely around his hips, the front dipping dangerously low. 

“Josh, are you wearing compression shorts?” you asked and his face paled. “I just wanted to make sure it fit before I got fully dressed,” he started, and you took a deep breath. “Okay, do you have a pencil?” you asked and he nodded, gesturing to the sketchbook and pouch of writing utensils he had on the coffee table. You rummaged through the pouch and found a sketch pencil. You held it out to him. “Okay, rub the lead on the zipper and then try to zip it up,” you instructed. He gave you a questioning look, “do what?” You gestured to the zipper and tried to explain again. “Here, you can do it, I’ll just push the fabric outwards,” he said, slipping his hand between his pelvis and the jumpsuit.

You swallowed before bending down to grab the zipper and start to rub the pencil tip along the metal. Josh was breathing slowly and deeply as he watched you work. “So, uh, what is that supposed to do,” he asked. “Graphite is a natural lubricant for metals, so it will hopefully help the slider over the chain,” you answered. He took a deep breath but kept his lower body completely still. You pulled the zipper upwards before trying to unzip the jumpsuit a bit more. Sure enough, your trick worked, and it unzipped easily.

“Oh, shit,” you heard come from the direction of the hall and you spun around to see Danny standing in the doorway, his eyes wide. You quickly stood up, turning to face Danny as you held up the pencil you had in your hand still. “Stuck zipper,” you offered, Danny’s eyes darting from you to Josh and back again. Jake walked in past Danny, clearly unaware of the position you’d just been in. 

“How do I look,” Jake said, doing a spin for you. You heard Josh shuffle into the bathroom and close the door, and you turned to focus on Jake. His suit was slightly more plain for this show, a deep purple base with golden accents on both the jacket and the pants. “Looks great! How do the shoes feel?” you asked, trying to change the subject. “Good!” Jake replied as he moved to take a seat on the couch in the middle of the room.

You turned to Danny and held the pencil out to show him. “The graphite acts as a lubricant for the metal mechanisms on the zipper,” you explained, and he nodded. “Lubricant?” Sam asked as he walked into the room, rattling the ice in his drink as he walked. “Yeah, Josh’s zipper was stuck,” Danny clarified as he moved to sit down next to Jake, pulling a pair of drumsticks and tape out of his back pockets.

Josh emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, fully dressed. “That was uh, a great trick,” Josh said to you, gesturing towards the pencil, which you’d placed on the table next to his sketchbook. “Yeah, you work in fashion for so long and you learn all kinds of weird things,” you replied with a chuckle, hoping the exchange was less awkward than you felt it was.

“Well, what do we think?” Josh asked as he posed for the group. The shape of the jumpsuit was fairly plain, but it was covered in iridescent tiles which shone purple, the color of the night, in the light. “Looks great,” Danny said with a tight smile. He looked great in his own outfit- deep purple pants with rhinestones along the sides and a black, sheer top with strategically placed embroidered flowers. “I think you all look really great in purple,” you added, all of them smiling in response. Emily stuck her head through the door. “Let’s go,” she said, gesturing for everyone to follow her.

You waved the group off as they headed towards the stage, Sam already barefoot. You looked around for his shoes, but realized it wasn’t worth it. “They’ll show up,” you whispered to yourself as you turned and headed in search of the pizza you’d seen Sam eating.

After walking back and forth along the entirety of backstage, you realized there was likely no pizza left. You texted Ava, whose number you had gotten during the shopping trip.

You: Did you see pizza anywhere?

Ava: Dave said it’s all gone. Want to go hit up one of the concession stands?

You: Yeah! Do you not have to film?

Ava: Nah, Tim the sound guy is covering for me. I’ll meet you by the bus exit?

You: Perfect!

You waited for Ava, who showed up within a few minutes. “I should’ve figured you’d already be back here,” she said with a smile. “What does that mean?” you asked with a laugh as you both headed in the direction of the main part of the venue. “You’re always back here, working on stuff! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out on the floor,” she clarified. 

“Yeah, no, too many people. It’s nice and quiet back here- I’m able to get some work done which is good,” you replied. “Well, in Georgia you need to come out with me, see them in action. It’s a surreal experience,” Ava countered. You agreed to try it, knowing you’d probably come up with an excuse when it came time to deliver.

Ava ordered chicken fingers and fries and you got a baked potato from the first vendor you saw. You topped your baked potato with sour cream and cheese before heading back towards the backstage area. 

“I can’t believe you have to remake an entire part of a suit,” Ava said, shaking her head as you chatted on your way back. “It’s a bummer for sure. The beading was almost complete too. I can probably finish it tonight though, on the drive to Atlanta,” you replied, contemplating the amount of work you’d need to complete. 

“It’s only gonna be like, four hours. If that,” Ava added, balancing her food as she dunked a fry in ketchup. “I think I’ll simplify my original design, and it should be doable. I know we have the day off tomorrow, but I won’t be able to relax until it is done,” you continued, mentally piecing together the design as you walked. 

A worker from the venue recognized both of you and let you both backstage. “I think we are going to the zoo tomorrow too, I don’t think you’d want to miss that,” Ava added as she scooted past the worker, nodding her thanks as she slid past. “I definitely do not,” you said decidedly, knowing that Sam at the zoo would certainly be a sight to see.

Once you and Ava made your way backstage, you both sat and worked for a bit as you finished your dinners. Ava was editing a TikTok video she had been working on while also editing a marketing plan for new merch. You had begun redoing the sketches you could remember from the sketchbook you had been forced to leave behind at the hotel. 

“It’s crazy how different our jobs are,” you mused as you sat back in your seat, watching Ava as she hunched over her laptop. She paused and stretched, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath. “You got that right. Incredibly different, but essential.” You nodded in agreement before returning to the sketch you were working on. Ava leaned over to examine your work and you turned the book so she could see. “I know who that’s for,” she said with a smile.

You looked down at the design you’d been working on. It was clearly a costume for Josh, the outline of a jumpsuit giving it away. You’d been sketching the outline of his face, something you had recently started to do more often. You looked up when you heard the tell-tale commotion signaling the end of the show as the group headed back to their dressing rooms.

Sam was the first one you saw, jacket in hand and pants already unbuttoned. He was still barefoot, and you grimaced. “What?” he asked, noticing your face. “Your feet!” you replied, pointing. He lifted his foot to show you the bottom, which was completely black. “Disgusting,” you stated, rolling your eyes as Sam cackled at your reaction before disappearing into his dressing room.

Jake and Danny were next, completely engulfed in a conversation but pausing to give you and Ava a smile before heading to shower. Josh brought up the rear, Emily at his side. “She passed out,” Josh said, helping Emily into a chair. “I did not!” she protested, Josh lifting his brows in response. 

An EMT rounded the corner and Josh waved him over. It was quite a sight- Josh gesturing and explaining things to the medical worker in his fantastical jumpsuit, iridescent panels shining in the bright light.

 “And she’s… Em, how far along are you? In the pregnancy?” Josh asked, placing a protective hand on Emily’s shoulder as the EMT worked to get a blood pressure reading. “I… um… I think I’m about 12 weeks, but I’m not sure” Emily answered, her face pale. “Your blood pressure is pretty low. I’d like to take you in, just to get you and the baby checked out,” the EMT responded, and Emily waved him off. “We need to be on our way to Atlanta, I’m sure I’m just tired,” Emily responded, removing the blood pressure cuff.

Ava set her computer down on the table and went to sit next to Emily. “I’ll go with you Em. It probably won’t take much time and then we can head to Atlanta together,” Ava said quietly, giving Emily a reassuring smile. Emily looked up at Josh, who was standing with his hands on his hips. 

“I agree. And technically I’m your boss, so I feel like I have some pull in this situation,” Josh replied, giving her a soft smile that ensured he was serious, but it was because he cared. Emily nodded, but reached for her clipboard, calling out for Jack. He appeared and sat next to Emily as she handed over her clipboard, explaining all the details about the hotel and reservations for Atlanta.

The EMT finally convinced Emily to give it up when his partner showed up with a gurney. “I will not be getting on that,” Emily contested as she pointed to the apparatus. “It’s procedure,” the new EMT said with a smile that said he truly hoped Emily would go willingly. Josh offered Emily his hand and she took it before standing, shimmying onto the stretcher. Josh gave her a quick hug and you gave her a wave before the EMT’s took her down the hall, Ava trailing behind.

Josh turned to face you. He had unzipped his jumpsuit slightly and his hair was sweaty and clinging to his forehead. “You think she will be okay?” Josh asked, concern bubbling in his voice. “I’m sure she will be fine,” you ensured, giving him a small smile. Josh nodded and looked in the direction Emily had gone. “I guess I’ll go shower then,” he replied, and you nodded. You watched him go, his way of moving utterly effortless.  

What a day.

Masterlist- to start at the beginning

You jumped as the lights cut off; the sudden darkness eerie. Everyone was still leaning forward, looking at the radar displayed on Jake’s phone. Josh was sitting in front of you from when he had moved onto the floor and had scooted forward to look at Jake’s phone. Sam cursed, voicing what you all were feeling. “Everyone okay?” Emily said frantically as she came into the room. You could just make out her shape as she moved towards the group from the doorway, moving slowly and cautiously. Shit, she should not have to be dealing with this bullshit. Not after today.

You thought back to earlier when she had pulled you aside, overcome with emotion. “I need your help,” she had said through tears. She pulled something out of her pocket and held it out to you. “Does this look positive to you?” she’d asked as you slowly took the pregnancy test out of her hand. 

The two solid lines in the test window confirmed what she already probably knew but was having trouble realizing. “Yes, that’s definitely positive. Is it your test?” you asked quietly. Emily slowly nodded, looking up at you as tears welled in her eyes. “We’ve been trying for over a year, I didn’t think it was going to happen,” Emily said quietly, her hands shaking as they took the test back from you. 

You pulled her in for a hug and she sobbed quietly against you. “I didn’t know who else to ask for help. I’m really sorry if I put you in a weird spot. I couldn’t find Ava and there aren’t many other women along with us and…” Emily started, rambling with nerves, exhaustion, and excitement. You cut her off with a gentle squeeze as you pulled back. “You need to call Jared. Let him know the good news,” you prodded, knowing her husband would be ecstatic. “We will be home tomorrow, I’m just going to tell him in person,” Emily responded as you both turned to head back towards the green room. “Please don’t tell anyone yet,” Emily said before you walked back into the room. “I got you,” you had replied with a smile, “I’m really happy for you, Emily.”

——————————————————————

“I’m thinking we are going to be stuck here for a bit,” Jake said quietly, bringing you back to the present. You heard Danny and Sam groan. Slowly, you became more aware of your surroundings, especially the pressure of someone pressing themselves against your legs. You focused on the shape and saw the telltale loose curls that signaled Josh was the one attached to you. You reached out slowly and touched his shoulder. He tensed as you had startled him, but he quickly relaxed into your touch. You felt his hand reach back to run along the side of your calf- a likely innocent and comforting gesture, but it sent shockwaves up your leg and to your stomach, which was doing flips.

The lights began to flicker as the fluorescent bulbs came back to life. Josh quickly shifted away from you. When the lights were back to their full capacity, he was now about a foot in front of you, leaned over against the coffee table. “I guess those generators kicked in,” Danny noted with a grin. “I swear, if this tour ends up being cursed like that damn Dreams in Gold circus,” you heard Josh say as he shook his fist comically. Sam joined in, his goofy personality now in full swing. Everyone continued to hang out, telling jokes and stories as you all waited for word on when you’d get to leave.

It had been two hours by the time you saw Emily again. You’d finished your beading project and had been sitting back in your chair, listening to the stories being shared. “Okay guys, Albert and Dean said it’s now or never. There’s a slight break in the storm as it starts to shift East, so now’s our chance to head back home without getting caught in another wave,” Emily said, everyone letting her finish before jumping up and collecting all their stuff. 

Emily and a few staff members came to help you grab the wardrobe, putting large plastic bags over everything to keep it safe from any rain you might encounter.

“Can I ride with you?” Jake asked as you headed towards the buses. “For sure!” you had responded, wondering if Josh would also be joining you. You turned to watch Josh board the other bus, answering your question for you. “Can I ride with you guys?” Danny asked you and Jake. “For sure!” you responded as you climbed the steps. 

After hanging up the clothes and ensuring everything had made it back onto the bus in one piece, you headed up front to check on Albert.

“It’s nasty out, Albert. You really want to drive in this?” you asked, looking out the front windshield. “Oh, it’s not so bad. The roads will be clear! We should make it home in record time!” he said, giving you a bright smile. “Do you want your coffee warmed up?” you asked, gesturing to the paper cup he had in his cup holder. “Actually, I’d quite like that if it’s not too much of a hassle,” he replied as he fiddled with the GPS. “No hassle at all,” you responded as you took the cup and headed towards the microwave.

You watched Danny and Jake play a few chords back and forth on their guitars, strings of technical commentary flowing between them. The microwave beeped and you returned to Albert, ensuring he was ready for the drive ahead. “I’m all good, sweet girl. We will probably be back in about three hours, so don’t get too comfy!” he said with a sly smile. You patted his shoulder before heading back to your workstation.

“Albert says it’s looking like a three-hour ride, so we should be home by 8:00,” you updated Jake and Danny. They both nodded before returning to whatever they were working on.

You’d have two full days off at home, so you didn’t feel a rush to work on any more outfits. You updated your checklist before relaxing, noting that you had pretty much everything ready for the North Carolina show, the first one back after the short break. 

You took a seat at your desk and pulled your second sketch book down from the shelf you kept it on. You had always kept separate sketch books- one for projects, another for creativity and non-work-related ideas. You flipped through the pages, the book naturally opening to the page you had shown Josh previously- a portrait of Jen with streaks of color based on the energies you saw surrounding her. What I wouldn’t give to have a look in his sketchbook. Or journal, whatever it is. You texted Jen and let her know when you’d be home before opening the book to a new page and started doodling.

It was just after 10:00 when the bus pulled into the parking lot. Jen hadn’t answered your text, and it would be your luck that she was already asleep. You started to gather your stuff and texted Jen a few more times before calling. Your call went straight to voicemail- her phone was either dead or off. Fuck. 

Everyone made their way off the bus. You opened the Uber app as you followed Jake and Danny off, hoping you’d be able to find a ride. “Is your friend coming to get you?” Danny asked as he grabbed a few instrument cases from underneath the bus, handing them to Sam. “She was supposed to, but she’s not answering,” you replied as you continued to search for a ride. “Where do you live? One of us can give you a ride,” Danny replied, coming over to you after shutting the compartment. 

You gave him the general area and he nodded, “I forgot, you live in your studio, right? Well, above it. Jake and Josh live over on that side of town,” Danny said before calling Jake over. He had been loading his suitcase into the back of a white Wrangler, but jogged over. “Her ride bailed,” Danny started before he was interrupted by Jake. “Say less, we can take you home!” Jake said with a smile. He grabbed your suitcase from you and started off back towards the Jeep. “Okay, well, crisis averted! Thanks Danny! See you in a couple days!” you said as you started after Jake. Danny stepped towards you, arms slightly open. You took the hint and gave him a quick hug. “Get some rest, okay?” Danny whispered against your hair as he gave you a final squeeze before letting go. You agreed and headed after Jake. You waved good-bye to Albert as you rushed to catch up.

“Ladies get the front seat,” Jake said, opening the door for you. You climbed into the car, Josh turning to look at you as you got in. He turned to look at Jake, slightly confused. “Her ride bailed. I figured the least we could do was give her a ride home, right dear brother? You know how to get to her studio, right” Jake checked. Josh nodded and put the car in gear, pulling out of the quiet parking lot.

Somehow, even though they'd only been to your studio three times, Josh pulled into the drive of your studio in record time and without a single direction. The drive had been quiet aside from the quiet music that had started playing after Josh’s phone automatically connected to the car’s Bluetooth. “Alright, let’s help get you in and make sure that roommate of yours is alive and well,” Jake said as he hopped out of the car, you and Josh following suit.

You put the code into the doorknob and slowly pushed open the door. Nothing could have prepared the three of you for the sight you saw as soon as the door opened fully.

Jen was laying in the middle of the floor with Peter, one of the guys she’d been seeing lately, completely naked. Jake’s mouth dropped open and Josh quickly turned around as you began laughing, completely and utterly horrified, yet tickled. Jen, never one to be awkward, simply waved to you and your guests as Peter moved to grab a blanket off the nearby couch. “Welcome home!” Jen shouted as Peter pulled her into him and wrapped the blanket around both of them, pulling Jen behind him as he took off towards the bathroom.

Once they were behind closed doors, you laughed even harder, doubling over. You couldn’t help it- something about walking through your front door with the man you were falling head over heels for and his twin brother, to see your roommate and dearest friend having sex in the middle of your studio was just comical. Tears were flowing down your face as you continued to laugh, Josh joining in as he slowly turned around and saw you doubled over. He moved closer to you and you grabbed at him to steady yourself as you continued to shake with laughter, him mirroring you. “What the fuck were they doing…” Josh said, pausing to gasp for breath, “in the middle of the floor?” You straightened and tried to compose yourself before doubling over again. “Well… at least we know why her phone was off,” Jake said with a chuckle as he watched you and Josh continue to laugh.

You and Josh slowly came back to Earth, wiping tears from your faces. “God, that was so funny for no reason,” Josh said finally. Jake had closed the door and was watching the two of you, off in your own world. 

Jen emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a bathrobe. “Good to see you made it home, sorry about that everyone,” she said nonchalantly, in a way that was so Jen. Jen watched as you and Josh finally moved apart, finally composed. “Have you been drinking?” Jen asked you before pulling you in for a hug. “Nope, completely sober,” you replied. 

Jake chimed in “she’s slept maybe 10 hours total over the past two weeks. I think these two,” he gestured to you and Josh, “are quite slap happy. So I’m gonna take him home and assume you’ve got her under control.” Jen did a salute and Josh giggled as Jake pulled him towards the door. Josh turned to look at you before they left. “See you soon,” was all he managed to say before Jake pulled him out the door.

“Well, that was a hell of a welcome home,” you said as you sat on the couch a little while later. You and Jen were both laid out on the couch facing each other as you sipped some wine. Jen had ordered pizza and told Peter to get lost, citing the need to catch up. 

“My timing was off, I’ll give you that,” Jen noted with a chuckle as she took another sip of her wine. “So…” she said, looking up at you over her glass, “you and the curly headed one. What’s going on there?” You shook your head and took another sip, her eyes never leaving you. “Oh… it’s that serious?” she questioned. “No, it’s nothing. There was a little bit of a drunken moment where we kissed but that was it,” you said, feigning nonchalance. “Oh? So you just had a single little kiss and that was it?” Jen poked. “I mean… basically,” you replied, taking a bite of your pizza. 

“Be honest with me. You definitely fucked him. I approve, he’s a cutie, even though I think the drummer is a little cuter. The one he came here with tonight is so fine, he’d be my pick…” Jen carried on. “We did NOT have sex! Why would you even say that? We KISSED. That was IT. He stopped it as soon as our shirts came off, okay? And we were both pretty wasted,” you shot back. 

Jen gave you a look before continuing. “Drunk actions are what the sober mind wants to do. And I saw the way you guys acted, like you were the only ones in the room, totally in your own little world. It was cute! The connection is there, that’s for sure.” You shook your head, “no. He was not into it. It was just a one-time, drunken thing. That’s it. And he’s technically my boss.” 

Jen rolled her eyes dramatically. “Yeah, and Peter oversees the line I design for. Doesn’t stop us from having good, nay, great sex,” she shot back. “Yeah… in the middle of the damn studio space, I know,” you grumbled, and she laughed, her head resting back against the couch. “I can’t fight him. He wanted me right then and there! Who am I to say no to that face? I mean? You saw the man,” she countered, both of you laughing.  

It had been around 1:00 in the morning when you finally headed to bed. You wrestled with your suitcase but didn’t even open it before you stripped to your bralette and underwear and climbed into bed, the smell of home and your soft linen sheets comforting you as you drifted to sleep

The next day went by slowly. The world moved at a much more leisurely pace when you weren’t living on a bus and random hotels or constantly working on outfits in arenas. You instantly missed the chaos, constant chatter and, most of all, the guys. You hadn’t realized how much you’d been around each other as you had all become constant fixtures in each other’s lives while touring.

Jen had helped you work on the next few show’s outfits, ensuring you were ready for North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida, the shows you’d have before your next break. It was a lot of work to create all the various pieces, especially from nothing but basic patterns, measurements, and fabric. Jen was able to crank out the main parts of the outfits, especially the jumpsuits, as you focused on the detail work. You had added some of the band’s songs to the playlist you and Jen played while you worked together in the studio. Jen had really liked the sound and you intermediately added random facts and memories from the tour when you heard associated songs.

By day two, you were ready to get back on the road. You’d saved some of the detail work of the outfits for the bus ride and downtime at the venues, but the main parts of the outfits were complete. The day was spent finding the last few pairs of shoes you needed for Danny and Jake as you went from store to store to find the exact pairs you needed. When you had gotten home, you snapped a picture of the completed outfits on the rack and sent it to the group chat Jake had made.

Jake: Looks great- can’t wait to see them in person

Sam: those red pants better be MINE!!! if they’re not I’m trading!!

Danny: Can’t wait to try them on! Now go take a break!

You were puzzled at the lack of response from Josh, who always seemed to be so excited about the clothes you created for him. He’s probably taking his break time seriously, as he should. You heard Jen shout your name from the kitchen and you headed in to see what she was going on about.

“You’re like… kinda famous,” Jen said as you walked into the kitchen, grabbing a soda from the fridge before sitting down next to her. “Yeah, I know. We both are ‘kinda famous.’ That’s what happens when you work in fashion,” you replied as you took a sip of your soda. “No… like their fans know who you are. And most of them, I say this with the most love, are fucking insane. Like, completely delusional. And mean as hell,” Jen said, pointing to the screen of her laptop. 

You leaned forward and read a few of the tweets Jen had pulled up. “Oh god, Jen, don’t show me that garbage,” you said as you sat back, taking another sip. “You didn’t tell me you had beer thrown at you? Like? FULL cans?” Jen yelped, her finger tapping the screen of her laptop so hard you feared it would crack. 

You watched the video version of the horrifying event of the other night. “And he ran back out to pull you inside? I change my mind girl, fuck this one. The curly-headed short one,” Jen said as you both watched Josh run out and pull you inside as the beer continued to explode. “He actually let me shower first too. And use his stuff,” you added coolly. “Oh, so he’s down bad. As he should be. Because I know you are too,” Jen added as she stood, snapping her laptop closed. “I am not,” you countered weakly. “Keep telling yourself that,” Jen said with a chuckle.

A second later, you heard the doorbell ring, the deep melodic chime that Jen had picked out rang through the studio. “Are you expecting clients?” you asked, and Jen shook her head. “I told everyone we were closed while you were home. I wanted to preserve your space and energy. And I selfishly wanted you all to myself.” You and Jen made your way to the front door, checking out the window before laughing. “What are they doing here?” she asked. “I have no idea,” you replied as you went to open the door.

“Hey, if you don’t want to see us, you can say that. Because you still have,” Jake paused as he checked his phone, “18 hours before you have to actually be stuck with us again.” You laughed but motioned to allow Jake and Josh inside. Josh gave you a smile before heading directly to the rack where the new outfits were. 

“He wanted to come over and look at everything as soon as you sent the picture. He was so excited, and I can’t say no to him,” Jake said. “I’m also really excited about them. But some of us,” Jake raised his voice, “can respect people’s privacy and down time.” Josh shot him a middle finger before motioning for you to come over next to him. “Down bad,” Jen whispered in your ear and you swatted at her quickly before going over to join Josh.

You spent the next two hours showing Josh each new outfit you’d created for him. He had been absolutely enthralled, his eyes shining with excitement each time you pulled out another jumpsuit. He was so gentle with each piece as he carefully inspected every element, asking questions as he moved. “What else has to be done for this one?” he asked as you reached the final new piece, a red jumpsuit for the Florida shows. 

“Beading. I’m going to add lines of rhinestones to the legs for each additional show. I may rework the neckline too, depending on how much time I have,” you explained, showing him your sketchbook to help bring your abstract idea to light. Jake and Jen had been sitting at the table closest to where you and Josh stood, talking non-stop. They had both been watching you and Josh interact, much more aware of what the two of you were feeling than you were. 

“Well, as great as this has been,” Jake said as he stood, “we will leave you guys to your day. We have some packing to finish up.” Josh nodded, his curiosity satiated. “Thanks for letting me come and see everything. I don’t know if I could’ve waited until the morning,” Josh said, giving you a wide smile. You and Jen walked them to the door. “We will see you guys in the morning,” you said as the two men headed out the door and into the small courtyard. “Can’t wait to get back to it,” Josh had said quietly, giving you a grin before heading back to the car.

As soon as the door closed, Jen was all over you. “He LIKES you! He’s down BAD! He dragged Jake all the way here because he was excited about clothes YOU made! You guys talked for TWO hours! That’s huge!” Jen carried on. 

You brushed her off as you finished putting away the outfits you’d gotten out. “Jake hinted that he thinks something is going on too,” Jen added as she handed you the final jumpsuit that had been laid out on one of the open tables. “Well, again, he’s technically my boss, so nothing is going to happen,” you replied, maintaining your indifference. “Stop playing coy, you like him. Boss or not, something’s there,” Jen said, throwing in a last dig before she pulled her phone out. 

“Can we go to that Indian place we used to always go to? I’ve been craving paneer tikka masala like crazy,” Jen asked as she stretched her back out, bending backwards. “Only if you drive,” you countered. “Bet,” she replied with a smile as she headed for the door, grabbing her keys on her way.

As soon as you walked into the hole-in-the-wall restaurant, you heard your name being called from across the small dining room. You turned to see Sam waving to you from a corner table, Danny and a few other guys sitting with him. You and Jen walked over to greet them and were introduced to the people sitting around the table. 

They were all friends of Danny and Sam’s that were part of some other band, the name you didn’t quite catch. “I’m glad we aren’t the only ones who enjoy this place,” the one guy with dark hair and striking good looks, Dave, had said after the introductions. “Oh, we grew to love this place. Back when we were still broke, starving artists living in one of the apartments down the street. Best Indian food in all of Nashville, if not Tennessee,” Jen said, giving him a smile. The group was finishing their meal, so you told Sam and Danny you’d see them in the morning before heading over to the hostess stand to get your own table.

You already knew what Jen was going to say before you even made it to the table. She slid into the booth across from you, leaning in to not-so-quietly whisper to you. “Where are all these fine ass musical men coming from? And why did you let me choose to do high fashion instead of costuming? I could be touching and fitting men like THAT,” she said as she gestured to the table. 

You shot her a look. “You’re a designer too, you know. You know what we do is not sexy or glamourous with passionate glances back and forth. A body is a body,” you replied as you took a sip of the water the waitress had brought you. Both of you ordered, handing the waitress your menus, always slightly sticky, before returning to your conversation.

“A body is a body, sure, but those,” Jen shot her eyes in the direction of their table, “are some fine bodies. I still can’t believe you haven’t made a move on the tall curly-haired one. Something about a man that knows how to do his hair is just…” Jen trailed off, lost in thought as she turned to watch him talking to his friends. “You’re down bad. Like, bad bad,” you joked, returning her earlier sentiment and she turned to nod. “Yeah but, unlike you, I’m willing to admit it.”

The group of musicians was getting up to leave when your food appeared. They stopped by your table on their way out, Danny leaning down to give you a quick squeeze around your shoulders. “See you in the morning,” he said with a smile before turning to give Jen a grin. “Great seeing you again,” he said quietly as he patted Jen’s shoulder.

After they had left, you realized Jen was speechless. “What?” you asked as you took your first bite. “He’s fine as hell. That’s all. And I get the vibes he may be into you too,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows as she unrolled her silverware. “If you don’t shut up with your weird speculation. They’re not into me. Be for real. They’re nice guys and we’ve gotten a lot closer since we’ve been together basically 24/7 for the past two weeks.” Jen rolled her eyes, clearly not buying it.

You and Jen stopped for ice cream on your way home, making a date out of the evening. You had really missed her- texting and calling didn’t give you the feeling her presence did, even if she embarrassed you whenever you finally saw her again. “I’m never letting you live down the other night,” you said as you took a bite of your soft serve. “And I’m never letting you live down liking mint chip ice cream. Shit tastes like toothpaste,” Jen shot back as she sipped her strawberry milkshake. You bumped her with your hip as you walked back to her car, enjoying every moment.

 “Get your ass to sleep- if I have to wake you up in the morning, it’s going to be with a bucket of water,” Jen poked as she walked over to inspect what you were working on. You pushed the sketch towards her as she came up beside you, leaning over the barstool next to you to get a better look. You’d been sketching up a new jumpsuit idea for Josh, just doodling really. 

“And that,” Jen said as she pointed to the top of the drawing, “is all the confirmation I need that you like him too.” You looked to the area where she was pointing, to the roughly sketched features of Josh’s face. “You never draw out your figures’ faces like that. Never,” Jen pointed out. She placed both hands on the back of your barstool to spin you around before taking your hands and pulling you behind her. “Time for bed! We have to be up at 8:00 am to make sure everything is loaded and ready so we can get there by 9:00. And get you coffee,” Jen said as she led you upstairs, not taking no for an answer. “You can sketch lover boy tomorrow. Do some still life portraits live on the drive there,” she joked, and you kicked out at her, lightly kicking her in the side of the leg. She held her arms up in defeat but still was laughing as she headed towards her room. “Good night, Jen. Even if you’re an idiot,” you replied with a smile. Jen responded with a salute before disappearing behind her door.

Your phone buzzed at 7:45 am, waking you up before your alarm did. You rolled over and pulled your phone off the charger to see the message.

Danny: Good morning! Do you and Jen need any help getting stuff to the bus?

Doesn’t he have his own gear to worry about?

We should be good! Just bringing a couple more outfits and we should be set! Thanks for checking in!

You answered a few work emails, letting clients know you’d be available for consultations and designs, but wouldn’t be taking on any major projects for the next five months. Five months. This is my life for five more months. Your door opened and Jen peeked around it, making sure you were awake. “Thank god, I was a little worried you’d be up all night tossing and turning over lover boy and would still be out cold,” she joked. “You’re lucky I just made my bed, otherwise you’d be getting hit with a pillow,” you warned. She stuck her tongue out in response before heading downstairs, leaving you to finish packing and get ready to go.

Jen had a cup of coffee in your travel mug and a muffin waiting for you when you came down the stairs. “Did you bake?” you asked as you took a bite. “Yeah, this morning. I woke up really early and was working on this project for this new brand. Anyways, something about this made me think of blueberry muffins and I just had to make them,” Jen replied, showing you her sketch. 

“Definitely blueberry,” you replied, pointing to the blue and purple circle patterns. She reached over and grabbed your checklist from the other side of the table, letting you look over it. You called out outfit parts and she checked them, showing you each piece as you called it out. “Perfect, I think we are good to go,” you said as you finished your muffin, walking to the kitchen to put the plate in the dishwasher.

When you emerged from the kitchen, Jen was already taking things out to the car. “For once we may actually be really early,” you added as you slid a few more things into the trunk of her car. “Never say the e word before you’re actually at your destination,” Jen groaned. “There’s no way I just jinxed us with that,” you replied as you slid your suitcase into the back before climbing into the front seat. “Never say never,” Jen said as she shot you a look. “Are you going to need another coffee?” she asked as she backed out of the drive. As if on cue, your phone buzzed.

Josh: Jake and I are stopping to get drinks, would you like anything?

“No, Josh just asked if I wanted anything. I’ll have him get it and put it on the card,” you said.

I’d love a chai latte! Thanks!

“The card?” Jen asked. “Yeah, anything we need while on tour is covered on like, a company card. I don’t know, but it’s pretty nice.” Jen shook her head “I got into the wrong side of the business, that’s for sure.”

When you pulled into the parking lot, you realized you were the first ones there. “It’s 9:30, you’d think other people would be here,” Jen said after double checking the time. Another car pulled into the parking lot and parked in a shaded spot. You both watched to see who got out. As soon as the door opened, you saw Albert, who turned to you and waved. 

“That’s the driver, right?” Jen asked and you nodded. “Albert! He’s my friend,” you replied as you went to get out of the car. “You’re friends with an old man?” Jen said, shooting you a questioning glance. You put your hands on your hips as you turned to face her. “I sure am! And you’re going to be friends with him too, come on.”

Sure enough, Jen warmed up to Albert almost immediately. He had been enthralled with her tattoos, taking time to ask her about the ones on her hands and arms. “Now that,” he pointed gently to one of the more detailed pieces on her hand, “must have hurt a bushel.” Jen chuckled at the strange phrasing but shook her head. “It really wasn’t bad! The feeling against the bone here,” she pointed to a specific portion on the bony part of her hand, “was a little uncomfortable, but not bad.” Albert nodded as he listened. “And now you’re walking artwork!” he said with a grin as he turned to get his lunch box out of the passenger side of his car. 

Jen turned to give you a grin, a sure sign she had been won over. “I’m going to open up the bus for you ladies and get started on my checks before those boys get here,” Albert said as he started towards the bus. “I’ll get it cooled off for you,” he said with a smile. “Thanks! We are going to start the process of switching out the clothes,” you explained, and he nodded.

You and Jen were able to switch out the closet by the time anyone else showed up. Emily was the first one there, pulling up in the van she and some of the other team members rode in. You waved to each other before she started going through her own checklist. Everyone started to trickle in as it hit the top of the hour. Danny and Sam were the first ones to arrive from the band. They waved to you before loading their stuff onto their bus.

You were spending a few final minutes with Jen, checking everything over, when you heard Josh get on your bus. He greeted Albert, his chuckle preceding his body. “Good morning!” he said cheerfully as he walked past the open table to set your drink down in front of you. “Hello again, dear Jen,” he greeted Jen, giving her a toothy smile. 

“Well, now that the front man is here, I feel like it’s my time to head out,” Jen replied, leaning over to pull you into a hug. “I’m going to miss you so much,” you whispered and felt Jen nod. She pulled back to give you a smile before looking over to see Josh peeking in the closet, carefully flipping through the outfits. Jen leaned in to whisper in your ear. “Make your move, that’s your lover boy,” she muttered, and you smacked her arm gently. She wiggled her eyebrows before turning to Josh. “Bye Josh! Take care of her for me, okay?” He turned to acknowledge her and gave her a smile, “of course. We will see you in a few days!” he replied. Jen gave you both a goofy salute before heading off the bus, being sure to tell Albert good-bye as she left.

“Can I ride with you?” Josh asked as you sat down to check over your list again. “Of course, Josh. You’re always welcome. I may have you try on your jumpsuits though, so I can’t say it’ll be a completely restful trip,” you joked. Danny walked down the aisle, giving you and Josh a bright smile. “Good morning! Are you guys ready to hit the road?” Danny asked as he leaned against the table. “Always!” you responded as you took another sip of your drink, Josh agreeing. “Do you mind if Josh and I work on some stuff here while we get rolling? I don’t know why but your bus just has the best creative energy,” Danny asked, and you nodded. “Go for it,” you replied, truly glad to have them along for the ride.

Albert checked in with the group before starting the bus and getting you on the way to North Carolina. Danny and Josh sat across from you at the table, bent over a notebook as they discussed lyrics for new music. They spoke quietly as they both took turns striking things out and rewriting various parts. You watched them for a few minutes, your own sketchbook laid out in front of you. They both looked up at you, realizing you were watching them. 

“I feel like I’m watching history,” you said quietly and they both chuckled. “More like watching the very first version of what, right now, looks and will sound like a mess,” Danny joked. “Well, I feel like the first stage of anything can be messy,” you replied, realizing how true that statement was as you flipped through your work sketchbook. Looking back up, you noticed Josh staring at you, as if he was trying to send you a message telepathically. You thought back to the other night in the hotel, the way he felt pressed up against you, hungry for more. You could feel your face flush, so you shifted your attention back down to your sketchbook, working on a new idea for a suit for Jake.

By the time the bus stopped for lunch, Josh and Danny had a few lines of lyrics down and you had the plans for an additional two suits for Jake. The thought of piecing together so many additional outfits had you feeling sick, but also excited. As exhausting as it was to create everything these men wore with painstaking detail and precision, it was all worth it when you saw the finished project. Seeing your hard work on a stage with thousands of people enjoying it made you happier than you ever thought you could be.

“Did your wife pack you something Albert or would you like for me to get you something?” you asked the elderly gentleman as everyone filed off the bus. He smiled and held up his answer, a sandwich carefully folded in saran wrap. 

“Five Guys?” you asked as you all walked towards the restaurant. “Jake wanted a burger. The only thing we can eat here is basically a grilled cheese,” Sam pouted, and you laughed in response. “You like their fries Sam, don’t even lie,” Jake shot back, Sam sticking out his tongue in response. 

You ended up ordering the same thing Sam did- some sort of grilled cheese with grilled veggies, and a side of fries. Everyone waited for their food, Danny and Josh updating Jake and Sam on the song they were working on. “It’s kind of… a little more rock? I know we did a more psychedelic angle, and then more folk, and now I want to do some more rock stuff again,” Josh said as he cracked open a peanut shell and flipped the peanuts into his mouth. The restaurant had big containers of peanuts stacked around the store as some sort of appetizer- weird, but also an interesting marketing move as it was something you’d never seen.  

Everyone filed back onto the buses with their meals. Danny traded spots with Jake- Sam had been driving him a little crazy. “He’s very hyper today. I just need some peace,” Jake had quietly told Danny when Sam went to the bathroom. “More than usual?” Danny joked, swiping a peanut from Josh’s tray before Josh could smack his hand. Josh had offered you a peanut, which you had declined. “Very. So, you have fun with that,” Jake joked as he patted Danny on the back.

You had offered Albert some fries as you climbed back onto the bus, which he declined. “If I don’t eat healthy, my wife will kill me. That or the ole ticker,” he had replied as he gently patted his chest. The twins had taken their regular spots at the table, so you took yours. Josh was going over what he and Danny had written, gesturing with his burger in his hand. 

“And then, for the bridge,” Josh started, reaching to grab for a pencil, “I thought it could be kinda slowed?” Jake replied with a beat before hitting a few notes, Josh nodding and vocalizing along with him. You watched in awe as they rode the same wavelength, completely on the same page. Josh took another bite of his burger, ending the moment. 

They both became aware of you staring at them, your mouth slightly open. “That bad?” Jake joked and you snapped your mouth closed, shaking your head. “You guys just…” you paused, trying to find the right words. “It’s just impressive. Very impressive” you finished, unable to find a more eloquent way to express your amazement. Jake chuckled as he took the pencil from Josh and wrote some notes down, Josh giving you a grin, his eyes sparkling like it was the best compliment he’d ever received.

After you’d finished your grilled cheese monstrosity (which was actually really good), you retired to the bench to sketch out a few of the final outfits. The tour consisted of 23 American tour dates, followed by a month break before hitting Canada for 5 shows followed directly by 10 European shows, another month break, and then 5 South American shows. Overall, with the reuse of outfits for the shows in the same state, you needed to create outfits for 36 shows, or 144 sets of clothes total. It was a task of mammoth proportions, but one you were qualified for and had readily accepted. You’d be using the breaks between shows and continents to create outfits for the next leg of the tour. Putting the clothes together was the easy part- you moved quickly and had earned the nickname “Bolt” in school for a reason. It was coming up with ideas that was the difficult part.

“Can I pick your brains for a minute,” you asked. Both Jake and Josh immediately stopped what they were doing, giving you their full attention. “I need some ideas for Europe,” you said. “Like… ideas for what?” Jake asked. 

Josh rolled his eyes, “wardrobe, duh you idiot.” Jake snapped his fingers, “I want lighter colored suits. Something about being in Europe just makes me think… lighter.” Josh chuckled, “you’re going to get more sugar daddy comments.” Jake grinned, “good.” You nearly choked on your drink and they both turned to laugh with you. 

“Sugar daddy?” you asked, and Jake nodded with pride. “Europe ‘sugar daddy’ Jake was a thing for a while. All because he wore that dorky suit vest and people LOST it,” Josh said, holding back his laughter. Jake pulled up a picture on his Instagram and you looked at it before reading through some of the comments.

“Okay, so you weren’t lying. Are those the kind of vibes you want? Because I can do that. Even though I feel like that’s more of your vibes off-stage,” you responded as you handed him his phone back. “So, you think I have sugar daddy vibes?” Jake joked and you rolled your eyes. “Whatever pleases you. If those are the vibes you want, I can roll with it. Maybe a little more elaborate, but still in the lighter color scheme?” you asked. You gestured to Josh. “For you I can play up some darker colors. Do a switch for you guys.” They both nodded. “The fans will get a kick. They won’t see it coming, which I love,” Josh added. You returned to your spot on the bench with renewed creativity.

By the time you’d made it to Raleigh, you had a solid idea about most of the outfits for Europe. You’d shown Jake and Josh, both making minor tweaks and adjustments, but really loving the ideas overall. Jen had given some of her input too, offering up a few pieces she’d made to help you along with the process. She had called you during the last hour of the drive, ecstatic about Jake being in lighter colors. “I think some of the stuff I did for King & Tuckfield that didn’t end up getting taken up might work. A lot of the 50’s kinda stuff that we could mix with some ‘rich bourbon uncle’ vibes. I think it’d work. Add some sparkle and pizzaz and boom, we got it,” Jen said, clearly excited about the possibility of collaborating with you. You’d talked for a few more minutes before hanging up. Jake had looked at you expectantly. “Jen has some ideas. I may do more collaboration with her if that’s okay with you,” you asked. “Absolutely. We can get her on the payroll easily,” Jake had responded, not even questioning it as Josh nodded in agreement. 

The bus came to a stop in the hotel parking lot, all of you staying seated for another few minutes as you finished up the creative processes- Josh and Jake finishing an idea for a different song, you finalizing the ideas you’d had for an outfit for Danny to wear in Germany.

“Is everyone awake back here?” Sam called out, disrupting the Zen of creativity that had been created.  “Well, we certainly would be now,” Josh shot back. “Well, I want sushi. There’s a place right across the street. And there’s also a Ben and Jerry’s, so we should go there afterwards,” Sam stated, clearly already having made dinner plans for the group. 

Sam looked to you for confirmation, and you shrugged before nodding. “Perfect! We are going. The lady spoke for you all,” Sam said as he headed back off the bus, not waiting for anyone’s responses. You shrugged and followed behind him, making sure to tell Albert good night and thank him for getting you to North Carolina safely. Josh followed behind you, and the three of you waited for Jake and Danny. Once everyone was off, you followed Sam in what you hoped was the direction of the restaurant.

Sam proved to be a good navigator once again and you all were seated at the fusion sushi and burger place within fifteen minutes. “What an interesting combination,” you mused as you viewed the menu. “A little out of the box. I kind of dig it though,” Josh replied from his spot next to you. 

The waitress came and took everyone’s drink orders as you glanced over the menu. “You guys wanna do sake samplers?” Jake asked and everyone agreed. “I’ve never had sake, is it good?” you asked once the drink order was placed. “It’s kinda fruity, usually pretty good,” Josh answered. “I have a feeling you’ll like it better than bourbon,” Sam added with a laugh.

You did, in fact, like sake better than bourbon. You still ordered a local cider though, deciding you’d play it safe for the night. Everyone ordered sushi, except for Jake who ended up getting a burger. “I could’ve made bets for how predictable you are,” Josh huffed, giving his twin a hard time. “It’s a burger place too! It’s not weird to get a burger at a burger place!” Jake shot back, Sam rolling his eyes. “At least I didn’t get seaweed salad,” Jake joked, giving you a look. “It’s actually really good! I’ve loved seaweed salad ever since I was a kid, okay? And it goes well with cider, believe it or not,” you defended, Jake making a face.

Josh had his leg pressed against yours and you could feel the warmth of him through your clothes. The feeling was electric, and the drinks you’d downed were making you brave as you pushed back against him. 

The waitress brought out chopsticks and everyone laughed at Josh as he practiced using them. “I’ve always sucked at these,” he said quietly. “He lacks the dexterity,” Sam said with a laugh. “Yeah, well, where I lack with chopsticks, I make up for in other areas,” Josh grumbled as he looked up at his younger brother through his furrowed brow. Sam just laughed harder, “yeah, whatever you say.” You felt Josh tense- clearly Sam had struck a nerve. 

You pointed to Danny’s middle finger, which had a hair tie wrapped around it. “Can I use that?” you asked and he nodded, handing it over. Gently taking the chopsticks from Josh’s hands, you folded a chopstick wrapper and placed it between the two sticks before looping the hair tie above the wrapper. You demonstrated the modified chopsticks before handing them to Josh. He looked at you with amazement, “where’d you learn that?” You chuckled, “my mom used to do it for me. They’re called ‘training chopsticks.’ They’ll help you get the hang of it.” Josh grinned at you as he practiced, picking up random things on the table. “Not only are you an excellent designer, you’re also a great babysitter!” Sam laughed. Jake joined in and Josh rolled his eyes.

The waitress brought out your food and another round of drinks. “Can I try that?” Josh asked, pointing to your seaweed salad. “For sure! It’s pretty salty, just be aware,” you warned. He took a bite and made a face, his lips puckering as he chewed and swallowed. “I didn’t realize it’d be that slimy. The taste is good though,” he added. “For someone who likes oysters as much as you do, you shouldn’t be phased by slimy,” Danny said and Josh held his hands up, “It’s a different kind of slimy, okay?” Josh replied and you all laughed.

The bill came and you all finished your drinks. “Ice cream?” Sam proposed as he stood. “Are they even still open?” Danny asked as he signed the receipt. Sam checked the hours before replying. “We have thirty minutes!” Sam said, leading the group out of the restaurant and towards the Ben and Jerry’s. You hung back and walked with Josh, who threaded his arm through yours.

You giggled as you and Josh walked, both of you a little tipsy from the drinks at dinner. You bumped him with your hip and he gripped your arm tighter as he pulled you closer. “Let’s not get ourselves in trouble again,” he whispered in your ear, your face flushing instantly. Your stomach knotted at the way his voice hit a lower register than you were used to hearing. You turned to respond, but were interrupted by Sam who had found his way back to you and was trying to hurry you both up. “If you guys don’t walk faster, they’re gonna be closed!” he exclaimed, taking your hand and pulling you behind him, away from Josh. Josh gave you an apologetic glance as his brother pulled you behind him.

 “I’ll do a double scoop in a cup, one of cherry Garcia and one of mint chip please,” you told the teenager working at the counter. The group had made it with ten minutes to spare before the store closed. You watched Sam take a large bite out of the ice cream sitting on top of his waffle cone. Of course he bites his ice cream like that. The worker handed you the ice cream and you grabbed a spoon from the dispenser. Jake paid for everyone’s order before the group shuffled outside to sit and eat.

“What did you get?” Josh asked as he took a seat next to you. “Cherry Garcia,” you pointed to the first scoop with your spoon before gesturing to the second, “and then mint chip.” He nodded as he took a bite off of his cone. “Can I try the cherry one? I’ve always heard it’s really good,” he asked. 

You nodded and held your spoon out for him. He took a small bite, slowly removing the spoon from his mouth as he looked at you, watching your reaction. You took a deep breath, clearing your mind as he handed the spoon back to you. “That’s pretty good. Mine’s better though,” Josh said with a grin. “What did you get?” you asked as nonchalantly as possible. “The banana one, I don’t remember what it’s called,” he replied, holding his cone out to you, “want to try it?” You nodded and raised your spoon up but he shook his head. “You can just bite it, I don’t care,” he said, a sparkle in his eye. You nodded and leaned forward to take a bite, your eyes meeting his.

“Josh got chunky monkey. He knows the name, he just thinks it’s stupid,” Sam announced loudly, bringing you back to reality. You laughed, breaking the obvious tension between you and Josh. “That is a pretty stupid name,” you agreed. “Phish food is the best name and flavor,” Danny added, holding up his cup as a testament to his statement. You took another bite of your ice cream, still tasting him on your spoon. You were instantly taken back to that night in the hotel- Josh pressed against you as he pushed you against the wall, both of you panting as you grabbed at each other.

You stood up, suddenly feeling very claustrophobic. “Are we ready to head back?” you asked, and the group agreed, everyone standing and pushing their chairs back under the tables on the patio. The walk back went slowly, Josh giving you some space as you walked with Sam and Danny. Both of them were in good spirits, laughing and joking the entire walk.

Everyone grabbed their things off of the buses before meeting in the lobby. Emily had left your key cards at the front desk, the clerk checking your ID’s before handing them over. “We appreciate you being thorough,” Jake had told him before you all headed to the elevator. “I hope nobody has been giving them trouble,” Jake huffed as everyone piled into the elevator, bags in tow. “What floor?” Danny asked and everyone checked their cards. “We are on the fifth floor,” Sam told Danny. “I’m on the seventh floor” you replied, Jake and Josh agreeing. “I guess we get to party by ourselves,” Sam told Danny with a grin as Danny pressed the buttons for the fourth and fifth floors.

The elevator doors slid open at the fifth floor and Danny and Sam got off, waving you all good night. “Be good,” Josh warned, and Sam turned to give him a crooked grin. “Never,” was all Sam could get out before the doors closed and the elevator continued upwards. Josh rolled his eyes and sighed before the doors opened once again. Jake and Josh let you off first and the three of you made your way down the hall, searching for your rooms.

“This is us,” Jake said, gesturing to room number 713. “I guess I’m around the corner,” you replied as you checked your key card as Jake opened the door. Jake reached for Josh’s suitcase, “Josh why don’t you walk her down. I’ll get your suitcase set up.” Josh swallowed but nodded and turned to walk with you down the hall.

You both walked in silence as you read off the numbers, looking for 752. “Got it,” you said as you put your key card into the lock, the light flashing green as the lock slid open. You propped the door open with your foot as you turned to him. He watched as you moved, his eyes floating up your body. “Well, uh…. Good night. We will see you in the morning,” he said, forcing a grin before turning to head back down the hall. “Good night,” you softly called out after him, watching as he turned to give you one last smile before disappearing around the corner. You felt your heart tug you in his direction, telling you to follow him, reach out and pull him back into your room with you. This is not going to end well.

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

“You okay?” you asked Josh as he came back into the room, clearly flustered as he paced for a moment before digging into his suitcase. He was quiet, which was abnormal when he was drunk. “Josh,” you repeated, a little louder this time. He stilled and slowly turned to face you. “What?” he replied, his eyes blank. “Are you okay?” you repeated, searching his face for a hint at whatever was clearly bothering him. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just drank a bit too much,” he said with a chuckle as he turned back to rummage through his suitcase for his toiletries. Something is up. Josh disappeared into the bathroom, and you heard the shower start.

Reaching into your sweatpants pocket for your phone, you checked the time. Almost 2:30 am. Tomorrow morning is going to be a struggle. You checked through your socials, scrolling through pictures and videos from the night before. You laughed at some edits the fans had made of Josh making a face while hitting a high note. The thirst traps were your absolute favorite things to look over- it stroked your ego just enough, but also made you laugh at how enthralled some people were. You watched the TikTok Olivia had posted of the group’s trip to the distillery and winery, reflecting on the day. You noticed a few frames that had everyone included in them and grimaced, knowing people would immediately notice the gorgeous girl hanging in the background with Josh.

She really was pretty, but you liked her for more than just her looks- she was skilled beyond compare and hilarious. She fit right in with the group, her presence enhancing the group dynamic. Taking a deep breath, you opened the comments. Sure enough, the hateful side of the fanbase had sprung into action.

Who the fuck is this girl we keep seeing??? Hello?!

Does Josh have a gf?! Sleeping on the highway tonight fr…

Girlie wants to be a groupie so bad, fuck off

You were the most concerned about the ones speculating that she and Josh were a couple, mostly because you felt like there was some weight behind the speculation. It was only an inkling you had, but you saw the way he looked at her- it was a look you’d hardly ever seen from your twin, but one you knew it held weight.

Scrolling over to twitter, you saw the same speculation and hatred. You noticed that one of the girls that had thrown the beer in West Virginia had taken a video, which you clicked on. The video was shaky, but it clearly showed the cans of beer being shaken up before making impact. It broke your heart to see her freeze, holding the damn box of shoes that left her completely defenseless. Josh ran into the frame and you heard him yell something at the idiots with the cameras as he grabbed her and pulled her through the door. Oh they’re definitely going to run with this.

And, true to your fear, the fanbase did run with it. Screenshots of the video had been blown up, made into a meme, and shared all over Twitter and Instagram. “Fuck,” you whispered as you continued to wade through the cesspool of disgusting comments and jokes. “What?” Josh asked as he walked back into the room, towel around his waist and wet curls clinging to his face. “Uh, nothing,” you tried to cover. Josh turned to face you, giving you a serious look. As serious as he could give being a little drunk and slightly resembling a wet poodle.

Josh pointed to your phone. “Tell me. Now,” he ordered. You sighed before giving him the breakdown from the night. He stood still as he listened, slightly leaned back against the wardrobe at the front of the room. Once you’d finished, he rubbed his face before turning to fish his clothes out of the suitcase. “That’s all you got?” you asked. He pulled on a pair of underwear before turning to face you. “I’m too fucked up to comprehend everything. All I know is that I’m angry. And that I hope she’s asleep and not seeing the fucking vile filth people are spewing onto all these damn platforms.” You nodded as you listened, noting his passion as being slightly more than the normal amount. “Nothing we can do tonight. It’s a tomorrow issue for sure,” you commented as you rose and walked into the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Josh joined you in the bathroom and you both stood at the sink as you brushed your teeth. He looked tired- his skin was more pale than usual, purple shadows more prominent under his eyes. You knew that at the end of the day, he did this for you. This band, music, touring, all of it was your dream, he just happened to have the incredible voice and stage presence you had needed to be complete. The sacrifices he made never left the forefront of your mind, although your dream had slowly started to become his too. He loved performing and traveling and, of course, making you happy. Therefore, he was happy to join you on the rollercoaster that was Greta Van Fleet, although you knew that a hiatus was coming. You were ready for it, and you were sure Sam and Danny were too. The income you all were making off the tours was nice, but you were all able to be quite comfortable off the revenue generated from streams, merch and other endorsements.

You and Josh crawled into your own beds, turning to face each other and talk for a few minutes before you fell asleep. You’d always done this, for as long as you could remember. Typically, Josh would talk the most and you’d listen as he recounted various parts of the day, rambling about whatever crossed his mind. Tonight though, he was quiet. You figured he was just tired and irritated over the social media situation, so you discussed a time for your alarm before you shut off the light. A few minutes later you heard his breathing deepen, a sure sign he was asleep. His breathing lulled you to sleep soon after.

As soon as the alarm went off, you groaned. Josh was still out when you rolled out of bed and headed into the bathroom. It was 9:30 am, meaning you only had about 30 minutes to get down and grab breakfast before it closed for the day. You quickly got ready for the day, Josh not stirring at all as you moved around the room. You sat on the edge of his bed as you pulled on your shoes, turning to shake him lightly. He mumbled something and swatted at you. “As long as there’s signs of life, I’ll leave you be for a bit. I’ll get you something for breakfast, what do you want?” you asked quietly. Josh’s answer consisted of a grunt as he rolled over. “Okay, well, if you don’t like what I bring you, you’re out of luck front man,” you said as you headed out the door.

Danny was sitting at a table and drinking a coffee when you entered the dining room. “Morning,” he said with a smile as you walked over to him. “You want to sit?” he asked but you shook your head. “I need to take stuff up to Josh. He’s pretty hungover,” you said. Danny nodded. “Sam too. I told him I’d bring him a waffle. He asked for bacon for some reason, but I will not be fulfilling that request,” Danny said with a laugh. You leaned, quieting your voice as you glanced around the room. “Did you see Twitter?” you asked quietly. Danny nodded, giving you a look of sadness. “I really love our fans but… some of them really make me question humanity.” You nodded, “I couldn’t agree more.” You gave Danny’s shoulder a pat before heading to the breakfast bar.

You were boxes of food for you and Josh, as well as an orange juice for him and a coffee for yourself. The elevator doors opened, and you were greeted by a familiar face. “Good morning,” she said quietly, giving you a soft smile. “Good morning! You headed down?” you asked as you stepped out of the elevator, noting her luggage next to her and she nodded. “See you on the bus in a bit,” she said as the doors closed between you.

Josh was still half-asleep when you got back in the room. “Dude, you have to get up. For real this time,” you pressed as you put his food down in front of him. He slowly sat up, reaching for the cup of orange juice on the nightstand. You sat at the table in the corner to eat your breakfast and watched as Josh ate slowly, chewing thoughtfully on the bacon you’d brought him. “Why a bagel?” he asked, gesturing to the plain bagel you’d brought him, a light layer of peanut butter between the halves. “You always wanted a bagel and peanut butter when we were sick. Mom always made you a peanut butter bagel and brought me what?” you quizzed, knowing he knew the answer. Josh rolled his eyes, “crackers. So boring.”

 You both were able to make it onto the bus by 10:15, only a little behind schedule. “Always late,” Danny tutted as you took your seats at the booth in the middle of the bus. You had all chosen to get onto your bus versus the wardrobe bus today, giving her space to work on finishing whatever she needed to. “Where’s Sam?” Josh asked as he made a cup of tea at the kitchenette. “Bunks,” Danny replied, pointing behind him as he flipped through one of the magazines Emily had left on your bus for some reason. Josh walked over and moved the magazine in Danny’s hands to get a better look at the cover. “People? Really? Of all things, Emily doesn’t get enough drama on the road?” Josh joked. “And you too, for that matter Danny boy,” Josh added, poking at Danny. Danny chuckled but shrugged, “something to pass the time. At least this isn’t about us or our friends.” Josh took a seat and gestured to the cover “actually, Oprah is my friend, so thanks for that.” You all laughed as the bus headed towards the venue.

The ride to the venue was quick and you were all immediately ushered to sound check. “We need to get it done quickly because they’re letting the general admission group come in early due to the weather,” Emily had explained. Sure enough, when you stepped off the bus you were greeted by a downpour, the rain starting to puddle in the parking lot. Everyone made their way to the stage and went through the usual lineup to check your equipment. Everything sounded pretty good after a few minor adjustments, although you could tell Josh was exhausted as he struggled to hit different notes. You went to stand closer to him and noted how he relaxed, although he still was strained. As you exited the stage you all were ushered to the green room, a large open area that split into the various dressing rooms.

Josh immediately went to his room and closed the door, likely getting ready to take a nap. You and Danny went to check in with your seamstress extraordinaire, who looked quite tired. “How’d it go?” she asked in her normal, cheerful manner. Danny talked about how great things sounded and how excited he was for tonight, but all you could think of was the sea of hateful comments you’d read last night. 

Did she know? Had she seen what you had? She smiled at you uneasily. “You okay, Jake?” she asked gently. You nodded and took a seat in a chair to the side of the area of where she was working. “Yeah, I’m great. Tired, but good. You?” She nodded and expressed the same- tired, but good. Sam took a seat on the floor next to you and stretched on the floor, eventually laying back and closing his eyes. “Sam, the floor is probably disgusting, do you want the couch?” she had asked him, but he shook his head, lifting a finger up to silence her, which she had laughed at.

Emily came back, carrying her usual clipboard and frazzled look. “Emily, what’s for lunch?” Sam asked, noticing her presence before she’d even spoken, his eyes still closed. She completely ignored him and looked past all of you, finding comfort in one of the few other women on the tour. “We are having some weather issues,” was all Emily said before bursting into tears. 

Instantly, she was up and taking Emily by the hands and leading her down the hall, whispering to her as Emily sobbed. Something was clearly very wrong, but you and Danny stayed put, giving each other wide-eyed looks of confusion. Sam propped himself up on his elbows before looking around. “Where’d she go? Did I make her upset?” he asked and you shook your head. “Something’s going on, but we have no idea what. It’s fine,” Danny replied, sitting back in his chair as he eased his head back and closed his eyes.

The women came back a short while later, Emily taking off down the hall quickly. “Everything okay?” you asked as she returned to her work. She nodded, not giving you an explanation. “Do you know what we are having for lunch?” Sam asked and she chuckled. “The venue is doing catering. I think it’s Mexican,” was all she said before the room returned to silence.

She had been right- lunch was Mexican. “Should we wake Josh up?” Danny had asked and you nodded. You left your plate and went into his dressing room, taking a moment to adjust to the pitch black. You fumbled through the room, eventually finding his body curled up on the couch on the side of the room. “Hey. It’s almost 1:30, I figured you would want to come get lunch. They have these quesadillas that I think you’ll really like,” you said after gently jostling him awake. “I’m coming,” Josh had answered, still half-asleep. You helped pull him up off the couch and you flipped on the light on your way out, Josh wincing at the brightness as he followed behind you.

The vibe in the green room immediately changed when Josh stepped into the room. He ignored it as he went to make himself a plate and you returned to yours. Josh returned to the group and sat in a chair at the edge of the group, eating quietly. He didn’t so much as look her way, a shift from the day before when they had been side-by-side, eating and joking together. The air was tense, and Danny clearly felt it too from the looks he was giving you. Sam, however, was oblivious as he discussed the set list. Sam argued with Josh for a moment over the opener, eventually getting his way when Josh gave in.

Emily came back into the room as everyone was finishing up lunch, looking even more anxious and frazzled. “So we have a real problem,” Emily started, flipping her clipboard back and forth between her hands. You all waited for her to continue. “So… the arena is flooding.”

“What does that mean? Like, flooding how?” you asked as you searched her face for a clue to just how bad this was. “Like… there’s a leak in the roof. Multiple leaks. And the floor is covered in water. This storm is getting really bad,” Emily said quietly. “Wait…” Danny started, “didn’t you tell us that all the GA people were going to go into the arena early? Because of the storm? Are they in there right now?” Emily nodded slowly, all of you falling silent. “Well, they’re all being taken out into the halls now, because there’s now a hurricane warning. And, you know, because the arena has turned into a swimming pool.” Josh stood, “I want to see.” Everyone nodded in agreement and Emily excused herself to have a quick chat with the security team to facilitate a way to view the damage.

A few moments later, everyone was being escorted by security up through the levels of the arena until you made it out to finally see the damage. Everything Emily had said was true- rain was falling from a few spots in the ceiling, cascading down and splattering onto the concrete floor. There was now a few inches of standing water in the middle of the arena. Workers were milling about as they tried to clean things up, an impossible task as the water continued to fall from the ceiling, much quicker than they could clean. Everyone stood in awe, taking in just how bad the situation was. A few fans were still being ushered out from the area around the stage, all of them passing through the standing water that was collecting as they made their way to the halls surrounding the main area.

As you all headed back to the green room, the severity of the situation started to sink in. “So,” Emily had said after everyone was seated once again, “we are going to have to reschedule, obviously. The leaks won’t be able to be repaired in this storm, and I don’t think they’d be able to clean the water up quick enough anyways.” 

Everyone was silent- having to cancel or reschedule was the absolute worst thing, all of you hating it for so many reasons. The logistics of rescheduling were a nightmare, but the disappointment you all felt from the fan base was worse by far. Everyone’s minds shifted to the fans- people that had likely slept on the concrete outside the venue for hours, if not days, for a chance to get a good spot in the pit. “Obviously we will go break the news, although I don’t think it’ll be a surprise. Some people have left already because they’re piecing things together, but I think most of them will stay put. The storm is really getting bad. I know that we won’t be able to leave for a few hours,” Emily continued.

 “Can we get them food? Waters?” Danny asked, Josh agreeing. “The venue is going to provide food and water for everyone stuck here. Obviously, this is a huge liability, so everyone is being taken care of very well,” Emily clarified.

“Well… I guess we get another day off,” Danny noted, trying to stay positive. “We are just going to have to come back and make it up,” Sam commented, and you agreed. “How does that work?” she asked as she worked on applying beading to a pair of pants. 

She was always working, no matter where she was- always present, but still far off as she hunched over her latest project. Danny explained the rescheduling process to her as she listened and asked occasional questions as she worked. “Well, at least your outfits will be ready when you come back,” she added with a chuckle. “I was really excited about this wardrobe set too,” Josh said quietly, speaking to her for the first time of the day. “I know. They’ll still get their use when you guys come back,” she said, reaching out to squeeze Josh’s knee. He gave her a reserved smile, both trading their usually giggly exchanges for quieter glances back and forth.

The lights flickered as the storm continued to ramp up. You pulled out your phone to check the radar. “Looks like we are about to get the worst of it,” you noted, showing the radar to the group. Everyone had leaned forward to see the screen when the power finally cut out completely. It was pitch black save for the exit signs and the group’s terrified faces reflecting the colorful light from the radar on your phone. 

“Shit,” Sam hissed. You could feel Emily’s presence before you heard her, barely able to make out her shape from the red glow of the emergency exit signs as your eyes adjusted to the dark. “Everyone okay?” Emily shouted and everyone sounded off. “Do they not have generators for this kinda thing?” you heard Danny ask. Nobody had an answer, so you all sat in silence for a few minutes as you waited for something to happen. “I’m thinking we are going to be stuck here for a bit,” you said quietly, everyone groaning in response.

Editing credits to the lovely @joshs-jonch who I’m so grateful to have had on this journey with me!

The door to the green room slammed open, jolting you out of your trance. You had been watching the performance on the screen attached to the wall, absolutely captivated. You turned to see Josh walk in first, his face twisted up. Your bright smile dropped instantly as you strided over to him. He was off-balance and slightly wobbly, so you took a hold of his shoulders to steady him. 

“What’s wrong? Josh, talk to me,” you said, worry etched on your face. His hand lifted to his ear, bumping the in-ear monitors that were draped from his shoulders. You quickly removed them, turning to set them on the side table beside you. Josh’s eyes were starting to fill with tears as he pushed gently past you to take a seat on the couch. 

You were worried- was he hurt? Upset? Exhausted? Moved beyond words? Jake came trailing in behind him and gave you a glance as he removed his jacket, draping it over the back of the couch. Jake took a seat next to Josh and pulled him into his side protectively. You let them have their moment as you turned to look down the hall for the other two band members. 

You could feel Danny’s energy before you saw him. He strode down the hall, pulling at the cape attached to his shirt. “Motherfuckers,” Danny spat as he entered the room. Josh and Jake looked up at him, Josh taking in a deep, rattling breath. Danny was still wrestling with his shirt, so you laid a gentle hand on his back before helping him tug the fabric over his head. He slung it onto the floor, striding over to kneel in front of Josh.

“Josh, you were perfect. Fuck those schmoozers out there, we don’t need their dead energy anyways,” Danny said as he rested a hand on Josh’s knee. Jake was scrolling through his phone, still resting a protective arm around Josh’s shoulders. Danny straightened. “What’s the verdict online, Jake? Do we even want to know?” Jake shook his head, setting his phone down on the side table with a clatter. 

“Do I need to wrangle Samuel or is he coming?” you asked, hoping to break the tension. Danny turned to face you, relaxing for a moment as he caught your eye, although it was a short-lived reprieve. “No, he wanted to watch Jimmy Kimmel talk about whatever. What even was that comment? He compared us to…” he paused, not remembering but clearly irritated by it. “Siegfried and Roy,” you said quietly. “Who the fuck even is that?” Josh asked quietly, still seemingly a million miles away. “A couple of magicians,” you added, hoping they didn’t delve into that more. “Tacky magicians with tacky clothes,” Danny said, “I told them I shouldn’t have worn this bullshit. It wasn’t right for this,” he said, gesturing to the metallic pants he had on. 

You walked over to Danny, placing a hand on his bare shoulder. He took a deep breath before turning to face you, “What did you think? And be honest. Speak from a music lover’s point of view, not my girlfriend’s.” You were stunned- you were still getting used to being referred to as his girlfriend, especially in front of other people. Danny had always been more private, and even though you’d been dating for nearly four months, this was your first time at one of Greta Van Fleet’s performances. The fandom was still in the dark, and you both hoped to keep it that way for as long as possible. 

“I thought it was good. The crowd didn’t give y’all anything to work with. The sound was good though, the song choices were good,” you said, giving an honest opinion. “Josh, I know you don’t feel great and you were nervous, but you sounded crystal clear. The lower register really worked too. It was intimate and moving,” you added, giving him a short smile. 

Josh looked up at you, his face still showing his disappointment “I didn’t even give out my roses. I didn’t think anyone would want them.” This shattered your heart- such a sweet man who didn’t deserve to think such venomous thoughts. “That’s not true Josh- there were a TON of people who were screaming and cheering for y’all. I saw them! They were on the livestream!” you countered. “I saw them. It was hard to look past the front few rows though,” Josh replied. 

Sam walked into the room, “well! That was fun!” Danny turned to give him an icy stare, “you’re joking, right? That was a shit show. The crowd was dead.” Sam stopped, acknowledging the mood in the room for a second before continuing, “who cares? Did you guys see Jimmy Kimmel hug me? He’s got some zingers tonight.”

Danny turned sharply, moving to the other side of the room to rummage through his clothes. He kicked his metallic boots off and began ripping his pants down his legs. You sucked in a sharp breath- even when he was angry and moving hastily, you couldn’t help but admire him. 

“Y/n, can you help me find my shirt please?” Danny said, starting to pull on his jeans. You moved to his side, rummaging through the mess and producing his t-shirt, watching as he hastily put it on. You picked up the pieces of clothes he had thrown onto the floor, placing them back on hangers as he sat to pull his shoes on, lacing them quickly. The other three watched him, gazing from Danny back to you, unsure of what to say. 

You’d only seen Danny this mad once since you’d started dating- his usually quiet and laid back personality had been replaced with pure masculine rage. The group had been hanging out at a bar in a small town outside of Nashville. It was where the band went when they wanted to let loose, but not get noticed. You had been enjoying the evening and had gone up to the bar to order another round when a man approached you, slipping his hand down your shoulder before grabbing your ass. “I think not,” you said, giving him a hard shove. He stumbled back and you had grabbed your drinks when you suddenly felt Danny pressed up next to you. He towered over you and the creep, his voice growling slightly when he spoke. “Back off,” was all it took to send the slimeball scurrying. You watched the darkness and sharp edge in his eyes leave as he turned to face you, checking to make sure you were okay. 

You were brought back to the present when Danny stood up, taking your hand firmly, but not aggressively. “We are leaving,” he said, reaching to hand you your water bottle off of the counter behind you and slinging your purse and his book bag over his shoulder. “Danny, you guys can’t go yet, we need to be here for…” Jake started, looking from you to him nervously. “You guys can handle it. I’m over this,” Danny said, walking forward, pulling you behind him. “We will see you back at the hotel.”

“Fine, go fuck your rage out. Just don’t take it out too much on poor y/n,” Sam said sharply, clearly testing Danny. Danny turned and jabbed a finger into Sam’s bare chest, “shut your mouth Kiszka. Don’t push me more than you have today.” Sam stepped back, raising his hands in defeat. Danny pulled you behind him out the door and down the back hall.

“Ow, Danny, please slow down for a second,” you said, tripping over your feet as he borderline dragged you behind him. He paused and you took the moment to catch up, walking in front of him and turning to face him. “Just take a second with me. Are you sure you want to leave?” He paused, listening to you. “I love you so much, and you know that, but I really need you to back me up right now and get out of here with me,” he said. You nodded and you both started walking to the back entrance. You stopped again and Danny let out a breath, “what?” You hesitated, not wanting to push him more. “I just… there may be paparazzi or fans? They may see us leave together,” you pointed out. Danny contemplated this before continuing, “who cares. They see me leave pissed off with my hot girlfriend? There are worse things that could happen.” You nodded and you both continued weaving your way out of the venue. 

You made your way to the rental, both of you moving quickly so as not to be spotted by any bystanders. “Should I drive?” you asked. “I’m fine to drive,” he said, reaching out to start the car, “besides, are you really that good at driving stick?” You laughed, “better than you think.” He gave you a smirk as he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye and he put it into first. 

You watched him drive, effortlessly shifting gears. You admit- it was hot. The rage still etched on his face, the eyeliner from the performance slightly smudged, the way his hands curved over the gear shift and flipped it back and over as he drove down the streets of LA. He caught you staring at him, “what?” he asked, a bite in his tone. You pointed to a parking garage ahead on the right, “pull over.” He shook his head. “Danny,” you said, raising your voice slightly, “I said pull over.” He listened, following your instructions and parking in a back corner. “What?” he spat, pulling up the handbrake and turning in his seat to face you. “Fuck me. Right now,” you said, unbuckling your seatbelt.

He paused, his rational side taking over for a moment. “I’m too pissed off right now, I’m not myself,” he said, giving you a taste of his signature sweetness. You didn’t need that at the moment, as endearing as it was. “Daniel Wagner, I told you to fuck me and I mean it,” you said, reaching over to grab his face. That was all it took for him to lean in and kiss you hard, wrestling with his seatbelt. He grabbed you and pulled you over the console, positioning you in his lap. His hands wrapped around your shoulders, squeezing hard. You gasped, pushing the curls back from his face as you kissed him back. 

Both of you stayed like this for a minute, teeth and tongues thrashing as you both fought for dominance. You started to grind your hips on him and he groaned, flopping his head back into the headrest. You took the opportunity to lick along his throat, sucking on his Adam's apple. He reached up and wound his hands in your hair, forcing your head back. You let out a laugh as he bit along your jaw, leaving soft imprints in your flesh. 

You struggled to focus and complete the task of unbuttoning his pants with the adrenaline and lust coursing through your body. He reached to help, his large hands easily popping the fabric from around the button and wrestling the zipper down. You lifted yourself up as he pushed his pants down. His hand brushed against your soaking wet panties as he moved his hand back towards him. You shivered at the contact and he noticed. 

“Thank fuck for skirts and easy access,” he grumbled, sliding the waistband of your skirt up. He gripped you tightly, his thumbs digging into the divots on your hips. You knew he’d probably leave bruises, but you didn’t care. You reached down to pull his underwear down, your mouth watering at the sight of his cock, already leaking precum against his exposed stomach. You leaned forward as he slid his underwear down to his knees, waiting for him to lean back before you made deep eye contact. You searched his eyes for a moment before opening your mouth slightly, letting a trail of spit splatter onto his cock. He groaned and his pupils dilated at the sight. How you loved being a slut for this man.

You jerked him, starting slowly but quickening your pace. He pushed his left hand against the wet fabric clinging to your core. He stroked you through the cotton barrier, feeling your wetness on his middle finger as he played with you. He finally slid your panties to the side, circling your clit with his middle and ring fingers. You hissed, pressing down into his hand. “Impatient,” he whispered against your hair, sending shivers down your spine. 

“You ready for me?” he asked, taking his cock from you and pushing it forward, angled towards you. You nodded. “Words,” he spat. “Yes sir,” you replied. He grabbed your face, pressing his fingers into your jaw, forcing your mouth open. You complied and he spit into your mouth. You jolted at the feeling- it was a primal, filthy move. He’d never done this before, but it lit a fire in your body. “Fuck me right now,” you said breathlessly before you swallowed. 

Danny complied, pushing into you hard and deep. You both leaned back and moaned, enjoying the feeling of finally being connected. He wrapped his arms around your waist, helping you bounce on his cock at a quick pace. You moaned his name and he dropped his hands back to your hips, using them as leverage as he fucked you. Arching your back, you reached to grip the steering wheel behind you, needing something to hold tight to. You and Danny had fucked before but this was new- animalistic, raw, pure emotion and rage.

“Are you…” you started through gritted teeth as he fucked you deeper, “still pissed?” He let out a growl from deep in his chest, reaching up to wrap his hand around your throat. “Very,” was all he replied before squeezing tightly, disrupting the blood flow of your jugular veins. You gasped, your head suddenly going fuzzy as you struggled to stay coherent with the lack of oxygen reaching your brain. You tapped his shoulder and he instantly let go, searching your face for a reaction. “You like when I choke you?” he asked with a smirk. “Oh, fuck yes,” was all you could get out before you were overtaken by an orgasm, the sudden rush of blood to your head allowing you an almost instant release as he continued to thrust into you, grinding his pelvis on your clit. 

You choked back a sob as you returned back to the present, reaching forward to grasp at Danny’s shirt. You had never cum harder than you just had. Something about this sex was so different, so hot. He leaned forward, pressing his mouth to your ear, “you came so good baby,” he whispered before he sat back, “now it’s my turn.” You bounced on his cock hard, grinding your hips each time you landed as Danny buried his hands in your hips, guiding you. 

Danny started to get sloppy, a sure sign he was close. “Cum for me, cum so deep inside me,” you said in a hoarse whisper. That was all it took and he threw his head back, groaning as you felt him cum hard inside you. You watched him in awe- the same faces you saw on stage as he performed were, in fact, the ones he made when he came. You giggled at the sight and he snapped back to reality, bringing his face forward and catching your eyes. “What?” he said in a soft voice, “what’s so funny?” You were laughing deep belly laughs now. “Your performance face is the same,” you said through giggles. It took him a minute to put the pieces together before he chuckled. He thrust once more inside you and you gasped, your laughter stopping instantly. “Rich of you to laugh when I’m still inside of you,” he said, raising an eyebrow. 

You sat like that for a moment, just being together. The tenseness in his body had left and his face reflected the relaxed, carefree and calm person he typically was. Finally, Danny spoke. “I hope we have napkins or something in here. This IS a rental after all,” he said, giving you a shy smile. You both laughed and you dug into your purse, producing a pack of kleenex. He took them from you, “allow me,” he said, removing one and holding it under you as you slowly lifted yourself up. He hissed, but finished the task of wiping you clean. 

You pulled your panties back over and struggled to move back over the console. Danny turned and lifted you under the armpits, helping you move back into your seat. “Legs not working?” he asked as he wiped himself off, leaning forward to pull his pants back up. You watched him slide the zipper up and pull the cloth over the button, his fingers working nimbly. He glanced up at you, watching you watch him. “Please tell me you’re not ready for another round yet. I need something to eat first,” he said with a chuckle. You bit your lip, sitting back in your seat. “Depends. Are you still angry?” you asked, shamelessly flirting. “I definitely feel better,” he said, turning to buckle his seatbelt. He reached his hand out and gave your thigh a squeeze. “I think I should get pissed off more often,” he said, giving you his signature eyebrow wiggle. “I agree,” you said as he pushed the gear shift over and back into reverse, pulling out of the spot.

_____________________________________________

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

The bus had pulled up right to the doors of the arena. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Emily appeared, clipboard and walkie talkie in hand. “So, we need to get you guys in quickly. Everything is fine, we have just had some issues with people getting places they aren’t supposed to be and this venue is seriously lacking security,” she said quietly. She appeared calm, but flustered. Everyone nodded and started gathering their stuff. Two workers from the venue walked through the hallway to help you grab the clothes. They went ahead of you once they’d gathered everything, walking carefully. You grabbed the box of shoes and waited for the group to start walking off, following behind them.

You gave Albert a warm smile. He was sitting back in his chair, eating what looked like another peanut butter and jelly sandwich. As soon as you stepped off of the bus and started ascending the ramp to one of the back doors of the venue, you felt something was off. You turned to look over your shoulder and were hit by something cold and hard. It hit your shoulder and bounced onto the ground, exploding and spewing liquid on impact. You dropped the box in your hands as you were hit by something else. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulder and pull you forward, but you couldn’t see anything due to whatever liquid was spraying directly into your eyes. 

You felt the coarse fabric of a towel being pressed into your hands as someone wiped at your face with another towel. You were still blinded and now very wet, cold and sore. “Those fuckers threw beer at her!” you heard Sam yell. “Well, are you guys going to do something or just stand here? That’s clearly assault!” he continued, his voice raised as he chewed someone, likely staff from the venue, out. 

People were talking in hushed tones and you finally opened your eyes to assess the damage and figure out exactly where you were. Danny stood in front of you, holding out a towel and giving you a pained look. Jake was next to Sam, talking to venue security and trying to figure out what was going on. You looked to your right and saw Josh mirroring your movements as he attempted to dry himself off. He was clearly pissed, his face uncharacteristically hard and his lips pressed into a tight line. Emily pushed through the door and you heard screams from outside. Emily was holding the box of shoes, the cardboard now completely soaked. She handed Danny the box and looked up at you and Josh before turning to security and tearing into them. 

“This is completely unacceptable. There should NEVER be anyone outside of venue staff anywhere near my staff or talent! Ever! We will be pressing charges, so I’m going to need you to call the police and get someone here if there isn’t already.” Emily continued to dig into the staff, their faces falling as they realized how badly they had fucked up.

Josh gently put his arm through yours like he tended to do, leading you forward and away from the commotion. “I think we both need showers before sound check, huh?” he quietly joked. Danny walked alongside you, Jake and Sam still hashing things out alongside Emily. 

You found the dressing rooms fairly easily, Josh pulling you into his. He left you in the main room before he quickly went to check the bathroom. “Perfect, they already have everything in there, our roadies truly are the best,” he said as he walked back to you. “You go shower first, okay? We will find you a change of clothes,” Josh insisted, pushing you towards the bathroom. “No, you go! You guys have sound check soon!” you tried to refuse, but he shook his head. “You’re covered head to toe, love. I just have a little on my shirt, it’s fine.” You nodded and let him close the door behind you. Love? 

You started the shower and stripped out of your soaked clothes, shivering as the air hit your damp body. He was right- they’d soaked you completely. Even your shoes were drenched. You stepped into the shower and let the water warm your skin, the warmth slowly making its way to the cold core of your body.

You showered quickly and removed as much water as you could from your hair before tying it up and wrapping a towel around you. Gently easing the door open, you made eye contact with Jake first, who looked away but pointed. Danny rushed forward from around the corner and handed you a stack of clothes. You could tell he was fighting a battle not to look at you, but was sorely losing. 

You unfolded the shirt and realized the clothes were from your suitcase. Whoever had grabbed your clothes luckily had thought to grab you another pair of underwear, a new bra as well as a pair of chaco sandals. You threw your towel in the hamper and straightened the bathroom quickly before opening the door. 

Josh was sitting on the couch facing you, now shirtless. He stood and held a plastic bag out to you. “The venue will do the laundry for us. I already have my shirt in here, add your clothes and then you can put it in the hall and someone will come by for it later,” he explained as he gave you a slight smile. You followed his directions, putting the bag into the hallway. It was uncharacteristically quiet and still in the halls, nobody within sight.

“Where is everyone?” you asked as you went to sit in Josh’s spot he’d abandoned for his turn in the shower. “No idea. Probably getting their asses handed to them,” Sam grumbled. He stood and walked towards the bar cart in the corner. “Drink anyone?” he asked. Jake and Danny both nodded. “Don’t worry, Danny boy, I’ll make yours weak,” Sam said, giving Danny a wink. “And for the lady?” he asked. “I’ll take anything but a beer,” you requested and the group laughed in response. 

The four of you sat quietly, sipping on your drinks when Emily returned. “So, we have lunch in the hall and the two girls that threw the beers are getting charged with,” she took a breath as she thought, “trespassing, assault and something else.” She smiled. “We got Italian. Jake, I know you’ll be happy.” Everyone stood and headed into the hall, which remained quiet. 

Everyone made their plates and returned to their spots in Josh’s dressing room, making it the chosen gathering area. Jake had made Josh a plate and sat it on the end of the coffee table. Josh emerged from the bathroom, shaking his head and letting wet beads from his hair spray the group. “Hey now!” Jake reprimanded and Josh laughed before taking a seat on the floor and starting to eat from the plate Jake had made for him. “How’d you even know that was yours?” you dug, giving him a sly smile. “I just know. Because I know things,” Josh replied, giving you an equally sly smile. 

Everyone ate and enjoyed a few more minutes of peace before they were called for sound check. Time seemed to move slowly until you remembered the shoes. You opened the cardboard box which had been placed in a corner of the room. Both pairs of shoes remained relatively unscathed, despite the box being ruined. I’ll be using plastic totes from now on, even if cardboard breathes. 

You busied yourself with moving outfits to each room, ensuring everything was perfect. By the time you’d finished, the group had returned. 

“Are we allowed to go get on our bus? I need a nap,” Sam asked, slumping into the large chair in the corner. “I doubt it. But,” Josh started, “I’m sure there’s a really nice couch in your dressing room that you can use.” Sam rolled his eyes but stood and headed towards the door. “Please make sure to wake me. We all remember Germany,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows as he left. 

“What happened in Germany?” you asked and Jake laughed before filling you in. “Sam fell asleep in this back room and we couldn’t find him until like, what, two minutes before we needed to go on? That was back in the old days, so we didn’t have fancy dressing rooms or anything. Anywhere you could sleep, you did.” You chuckled at the thought. “Do you think I could go out to the bus? Surely there aren’t too many other people wanting to throw beers at me,” you joked. 

“I wouldn’t. I’d hate for you to run into any more assholes. You can use the couch- everyone else can use their own couch in their own rooms if they have any issues,” Josh said, giving Jake, who was sitting on the couch, a look. “I’m gone,” he said as he stood, chuckling to himself as he headed out. 

Josh stood and went to get his journal and pens out of his bag before returning to his spot on the floor. “Why are you always on the floor?” you asked. “It’s grounding,” was his only answer as he opened the journal to a new page and began working on something. You looked at Danny, who just shrugged before leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. 

“I really should be double-checking things for Kentucky,” you said, shifting in your seat. “Well, you can’t go out to the bus, and that’s where all your stuff is, right?” Josh replied, not looking up from his project. “Right,” you repeated. “So,” Josh said, pausing to look up at you through his still damp hair, “you should just take a nap. Relax. Enjoy the moment. It’s already been a crazy enough day.” You couldn’t fight his logic, so you moved to the couch and curled up, instantly falling asleep. 

You woke for a moment as you felt something touch your body. You slowly opened your left eye and saw Josh gently putting a blanket over you, moving slowly so as not to wake you. You closed your eye before he finished and heard him shuffle back to his spot on the floor, the furious scribbling of pencils on paper resuming. Danny was breathing heavily from the other side of the room, clearly asleep. If they need me, they’ll wake me. 

The next time you woke up, it was to a hand gently rubbing up and down your arm. Danny was standing over you, smiling. “Hey. We are about to get ready to go on and figured you may want to see everything all finished,” he said gently. You instantly sat up, folding up the blanket that had been laid over you and putting it over the back of the couch. Josh turned to face you, holding out his arms as he showed off his outfit. The black jumpsuit was striking, the orange accents and crystals catching the light and to give off a radiant glow. You smiled, nodding your approval. 

You turned to take in Danny’s entire ensemble, the gold chain details on his shirt and sheer fabric leaving just enough to the imagination. The burnt orange pants kept him on theme with the color of the show. 

Sam and Jake entered the room and both showed you their completed looks. Jake’s suit was fairly straightforward and more plain, but still stuck to the color theme as the black fabric was embellished with dark orange lace elements. Sam’s jacket was the opposite- completely adorned with jewels and embellishments covering the rust-colored fabric. 

“You guys look great. You wanted flashy and a bit outlandish for this show, and I think we delivered,” you beamed as you clapped your hands together. They examined each other and nodded in agreement. “Let’s go guys,” Emily said as she poked her head in the door. “Wow. Orange is the color of the night, huh?” she commented, clearly impressed with the difference in this wardrobe. You waved the group off and watched as they disappeared down the hallway, towards the stage.

I need a pretzel. And a beer. Preferably to drink, not wear. You figured the fans would be busy with the show and that now would be the perfect time to go grab a snack. You grabbed a staff pass from a table by the dressing rooms and ensured you had your id and the company card in the back of your phone case. You headed towards what you guessed would be the side of the arena, hoping to find a way out. “Is this the way to the main part of the venue?” you asked a man standing near a pair of double doors. He nodded and let you out. You thanked him and continued on your journey in search of a snack.

You found the concession stand easily and ordered a Corona and a soft pretzel. “Oh, you guys have the pretzel bites too? Could I get those as well please?” you asked, the man taking your order nodding before adding them to the bill. He looked down at your badge, which you wore around your neck. “You work for the band?” he asked casually. You nodded as he handed you your order. “Yes, I do their wardrobe.” He gave you an impressed look before popping the top off of your bottle of beer and handing it to you. You thanked him and headed back the direction you’d come. 

As you walked back, you enjoyed the music now coming from the stage. You peeked your head around a wall and caught sight of the stage. You saw Josh working the crowd, his presence making you smile, even from yards away. They went into another song, Josh’s voice ringing out across the arena as people sang along. You couldn’t help but be drawn into the magic that was Josh Kiszka- something about him clearly resonating with every single person in the audience. It was crazy to think that this was the same man that had gently laid a blanket over you earlier and who liked to sit on the floor and journal. You shook your head and took a sip of your beer before continuing your journey backstage. 

You approached the doors you’d come through originally and knocked. The man you’d seen earlier opened the door and looked you up and down. You smiled at him, sure he recognized you, although he clearly didn’t given his frown. “I just came through here. I’m with wardrobe,” you explained, moving your hands to show him the badge hanging from your neck. He shook his head and started to close the door before you shot your foot out, holding the door open. “Hey! I need to get back,” you exclaimed, your patience wearing thin. “I’ve heard that before,” he replied as he rolled his eyes. “Wait!” you yelled as he started to close the door again. He gave you a look. “Do you have a radio? Call for Emily, their manager,” you begged and he gave you an annoyed look before following your request. “Calling for Emily, I have someone here saying they need to get backstage. They’re from wardrobe. Calling to confirm,” he said over the radio. Emily responded over the radio, saying your name. He gave you a questioning look and you nodded. “That’s me. Here,” you said as you shuffled the items in your hands to produce your ID. He checked it and let you in. “Thanks,” you huffed as you headed back to the safety of the dressing rooms. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Emily stopped you as you walked back into Josh’s room. “Yeah, I just went to get a snack and this guy was being a bit of a hardass even though he was the one who had let me out,” you replied, rolling your eyes. She pointed to the pass around your neck, “even with a pass?” You nodded. “So their security is lax when we need it, strict when we don’t. Go figure,” she rolled her eyes. “The backlot is cleared if you need anything from the bus. Or just want out of here,” Emily said with a wink. You nodded, “I should go finish up some of the stuff for tomorrow. Will you let me know when they come off?” Emily nodded and you headed for the bus.

The backlot was quiet, but you remained on edge after the afternoon’s event. You were happy to see Albert’s smiling face as you boarded the bus. “Hey sweet girl. How goes it?” he asked. You filled him in on the craziness from the afternoon, his eyebrows raised for the entirety of your stories. “Geez, some of those people sure are crazy,” he commented, shaking his head. “I’ve been driving buses for years and have seen some craziness, but that?” He paused. “Plain mean behavior.” You nodded in agreement and listened to a few of Albert’s stories, the one about a band sneaking a monkey onto the bus being your favorite. “The little fella was a menace! He ate my sandwich and, afterwards, he ripped off my cap!” he said as he gestured to one of the many hats he always seemed to be wearing. You laughed at his animation while telling the story and the thought of a monkey terrorizing the older gentleman. “Say, I’m about to walk down the street to get myself a sandwich and a cuppa coffee. You want anything?” Albert asked as he stood, taking a moment to stretch his back. “I’m okay for now. You be safe, okay? I hear people are throwing beer out there,” you joked and he laughed. “For some reason, I have an inkling that I’ll fare okay. Lock the door behind me, will ya?” he asked before heading down the stairs. You locked the door as he had requested and watched him disappear around the side of the venue, clearly on a mission. 

You had just finished applying the lace applique to the pair of shoes for Danny when you heard the bus door open. You were instantly alert and slightly nervous, although you knew that only crew had the code to the door. Albert smiled and waved at you and you were able to relax and return to your project. A few minutes later, you received a text from Emily that they were wrapping up the show, but that you needed to stay put and she’d get help bringing the clothes back to the bus. 

You: You sure? I can come help! 

Emily: Nope, do not get off the bus. See you soon.

The finishing touches were being placed on Sam’s jacket about an hour later when Josh climbed onboard. He sat down hard on the bench, his wet hair hitting the wall as he leaned back. You looked up at him from your hunched position at the desk. His eyes were closed so you decided to just let him sit and decompress. Emily and a few assistants boarded next, following your instructions as you ensured the clothes were put in the correct place. 

You were double-checking everything when Sam climbed on board, carrying a few beers with him. “We are partying on this bus,” he said, handing you another bottle of corona. He produced a bottle opener from his pocket and held it out for you. You took it and opened your bottle before leaning and popping open a bottle of Stella that he was holding out for you to open. “Josh, I brought you a corona too. They didn’t have limes, damn them, but it’ll still be good,” Sam said as he produced another bottle for you to open. Josh held his hand up, refusing it. “What’s up with you?” Jake asked as he made his way back to sit next to Josh. Josh had his hand over his face and was rubbing his temples with his thumb and middle finger. 

“Do you have a headache?” you asked as you walked over to Josh, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. His eyes opened slightly and he looked at you, nodding slightly. He pointed to his ear. “I ruptured an ear drum a while ago and even though it’s healed, it causes me grief sometimes and gives me a wicked headache,” he explained. “I have some Tylenol, do you want some? You can take my bunk too if you want to sleep,” you offered. He nodded and you fished in your bag for the bottle of pain relievers you always kept handy. 

You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before walking to the rear of the bus where you found Josh already in your bunk with the curtains still open, his eyes closed. He held his hand out and you shook two of the pills into it. He popped them into his mouth before reaching for the water, taking it gently from you. He took a sip, but most of the water went down onto his shirt. Josh took a deep breath, clearly annoyed and now cold and wet from the water. 

“Just take it off Josh, I don’t care,” you promised. He opened his eyes slightly and checked your face for sincerity before realizing you were serious. Josh pulled the shirt over his head and threw it down onto the floor before rolling over. “Thanks,” he whispered. “You’re welcome,” you whispered back as you watched his back rise and fall with each breath he took. You closed the curtains and flipped off the light before heading back to the workspace. 

The drive from West Virginia to Kentucky was only about four hours and it went quickly. Sam had kept the drinks flowing and Danny had produced a few bags of chips he’d found stashed in his dressing room. You all sat around the table, snacking, drinking and laughing as you made your way to the next town. You’d worked on cleaning the clothes from the night as the guys talked about plans for their day off. 

“Where do you want to go?” Danny asked you. “I’ll be happy just to be able to finish things up for the next few shows and sleep in a real bed,” you answered. “You are going to come out with us, right?” Jake asked, his brows raised as he waited for your answer. “I don’t want to impose.” Danny waved you off. “Stop saying that. Trust me, we want you to come along,” Danny started before following up, “I mean, you gel with us, you know? May as well have some fun while we are all together 24/7.” Jake nodded in agreement. “Besides, you’ll be without us for what, 72 hours? You need to get your fix before our break,” Sam joked. “Alright, twist my arm, why don’t you? You guys need to come up with a plan though if you expect me to go anywhere with you,” you shot back with a laugh. 

“What does google say?” Sam asked, pointing his beer bottle at Jake. “Why do I have to look things up?” Jake asked. “Because you’re so good at it dear brother,” Sam replied, giving him a sly grin. Danny had pulled out his phone while they bantered. “What city are we gonna be in?” Danny asked. They all looked at one another, yet none of them knew. You chuckled before answering, “Louisville.” “Ahhhh yes,” Sam shook his head in agreement, although you knew he had no idea whether that was right or not. 

“Okay so…” Danny started as he scrolled, “we can go to the horse races, or the zoo or a mega cavern? Whatever the hell that is.” 

“No zoo, I want to do that in Atlanta. They have pandas at that one,” Sam said matter-of-factly. Jake gave him an odd look and shook his head before taking another sip of his beer. “Shit, Kentucky is known for whiskey and bourbon, right? Why don’t we tour a distillery? Add it to the list?” Jake offered. Sam’s eyes lit up. “Perfect idea! We should see if we could tour the Jim Beam distillery. They make that Basil Hayden’s whiskey. That shit is,” he paused as he gave two thumbs up. Danny nodded. “The distillery is like, thirty minutes from our hotel. Sounds like we have our plans. We’ll have to appeal to Josh, but he’s always down to learn about stuff. You in?” Danny asked you. “Bourbon isn’t usually my drink of choice, but I’d love to see the process!” you responded, Sam’s excitement rubbing off on you. “I’ll text Emily and see if she can figure out who all wants to go and get a reservation. They have a restaurant. Maybe we can do a tour and then have lunch?” Jake suggested as he read through the website.

 “Perfect,” Sam stated as he finished his beer and pulled his ukulele from his bag before strumming it loudly. “Hush, Sam,” Jake scolded, “Josh will actually kill you.” Sam nodded and took the volume way down before continuing.”I don’t get how you can still want to play,” you said, finally finishing up Sam’s jacket, “don’t your fingers hurt?”

Sam shook his head and Jake chuckled before pointing to your hands which were unconsciously finishing the stitch you were on. “Do yours?” Jake asked. “Oh, definitely. But I have a deadline. And I’m somewhat used to it after doing it for so long,” you answered and Jake nodded, “same thing for us. Music isn’t a chore though, it isn’t a job to us.” Danny held up a hand, “that’s not entirely true. Whenever we are recording it definitely feels like a job.” Sam and Jake agreed. “I guess that’s like actually creating a piece. It’s fun but stressful. Sketching is more like what you’re doing now- a free-flowing, creative process that’s relaxing” you replied thoughtfully. Sam nodded. “Exactly,” Danny added, giving you a smile. 

You were able to finish cleaning the outfits from the night’s show and double check everything for the Kentucky show before the bus pulled into the hotel parking lot. Emily boarded the bus and handed everyone their keys. She was clearly exhausted, the past few days taking their toll. “I’ll call the distillery in the morning and set something up. I’ll text you guys the details. The hotel restaurant is open until 3 am so,” she checked her watch, “you guys have a little over an hour to call in for something. I will see you all in the morning,” Emily said before heading back off the bus, likely ready to head right to bed.

 Everyone grabbed their stuff and headed off the bus. You told Albert goodnight and he gave you a tired smile. The group had almost made it into the lobby before you stopped. “Josh!” you exclaimed, suddenly remembering the one missing out of the merry band of four. Jake and Sam didn’t hear you and continued on to the elevator. You turned to Danny, “I’ll go get him. Will you text me their room number?” Danny nodded and you headed back to the bus. 

Albert had just locked up and was headed into the hotel when he saw you. “We forgot Josh!” you said in passing and he watched you head back onto the bus before chuckling and resuming his trek. The bus was dark, so you flipped on a few lights as you made your way back to the bunks.

You pushed the curtains back gently and sat down on the bunk, leaning to gently place your hand on Josh’s shoulder. You squeezed lightly. “Josh? We are here,” you whispered. He groaned and flipped over, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling your hips down, inching you closer to him. He kept his grip on you, not budging. “Josh,” you tried again, trying to move free from his grasp. You weren’t really trying though- he was so warm pressed against you, his rhythmic breathing lulling you into a relaxed state. You rolled and leaned back, propped against a few pillows placed against the headboard, Josh’s arm still slung across your waist. I’ll just give him a minute to wake up and then he’ll let go of me.

___________________________________________

Something moved against you and you were instantly awake. You shot up, recognizing that the warmth pressed against you was abnormal. You turned to see Josh laid in the bunk next to you, giving you an equally surprised and wide-eyed look.

“What? What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice raising with panic. “No, I… you just scared me. I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep, I’m sorry,” you said as you started to push yourself out of the bunk. Josh’s hand wrapped gently around your arm. “Don’t be sorry, it’s your bunk,” he soothed. “No, Josh, you were sleeping and I just had come to wake you up but you grabbed me and I guess I just fell asleep and…” you trailed off. “Shit, sorry about that. Next time you can just slap me in the face, I promise, it’ll wake me right up,” he joked.

 Sensing your discomfort, Josh stopped. “Hey, we just slept, right?” he asked. You turned to give him a horrified look. He laughed. “No, I know we just slept and that was it. I meant that it’s no big deal? No different than me falling asleep on the bench out there while you work or you sleeping on the couch next to me yesterday.”

You thought for a second and nodded, “you’re right. I just figured I may have crossed a boundary that I didn’t mean to.” He shook his head and ran his fingers carefully through his loose curls. “Boundaries don’t really exist. They’re social constructs.” You rolled your eyes as you finally stood. “Whatever you say, philosopher Josh.” He chuckled as he rolled out behind you, nudging you with his shoulder as he turned to make the bed. Your eyes shifted up and you made eye contact with Danny, who had a look of shock, nervousness and dismay written on his face. He was holding two coffees, his mouth slightly open. 

“Oh, Danny boy! Good morning!” Josh said, ignoring the tension. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was interrupting anything,” Danny uttered as he started to turn. Josh laughed “you interrupted me realizing I don’t know where my luggage is, that’s about it. Did Jake take my stuff up?” Danny shook his head and pointed in the direction of the main part of the bus. Josh saw his backpack and suitcase and clapped his hands before scooting past Danny. He pointed to one of the coffees Danny had been holding. “Did you bring me tea, dear Danny?” he joked. Danny swallowed and shook his head, “actually it's for her.” Josh laughed as he rummaged through his stuff, “figures.” Josh headed into the bathroom carrying his toiletry bag and shut the door behind him. 

You turned to face Danny. “Good morning,” you said, trying your best to fein normalcy. He held a cup out to you and you took it, giving him a smile. “Thank you.” He nodded before taking a step back. “I came back on and couldn’t get him up and ended up falling asleep. It’s been a crazy couple of days,” you said as nonchalantly as possible, hoping Danny wouldn’t read into it. He was looking at you, searching your face. “What?” you asked, taking a sip of the coffee. Josh came out of the bathroom and looked at you and Danny, now aware of the awkwardness. “Oh!” Josh exclaimed. He pointed to the bunks and then back at you. “Danny we did NOT have sex.” he said matter-of-factly, putting a hand on his hip as he gestured at Danny with his toiletry bag. 

“Who had sex?” Jake asked as he took a seat on the bench, raising his eyebrows at Josh. “Probably you, given you had a room to yourself because you left me here,” Josh spat, feigning anger. Jake threw his head back and laughed. “Yeah right. More like I knew better than to wake the beast,” Jake replied. 

Sam showed up last and took a seat next to Jake, chewing on the last few bites of a bagel. Sam, oblivious to the drama, turned to Josh. “Dude, did you even change since last night?” He looked at you too, “did you pull another all-nighter?” You shook your head. “No, I just fell asleep here last night.” Sam slowly nodded, looking from you to Josh.

“Jesus, you guys are insufferable,” Josh exclaimed, “we did NOT sleep together. Well we did, but not in a sexual way. More of a ‘we are exhausted and fell asleep where we landed kind of way.’ Okay? Okay.” Jake rolled his eyes in response while Sam made a face and Danny just slowly nodded, still far away. 

“So,” you cleared your throat, “what’s the plan for today?” “Well, we are going to take a bus to the distillery in about twenty minutes. There’s a couple of roadies that wanted to go so we figured a bus would be easier. And then we have a tour and tasting followed by lunch,” Jake filled you in. You nodded, “I guess I need to get changed then. This should be a lot of fun!”

You listened to the group speak in hushed tones while you brushed your teeth and changed in the small bus bathroom. “Josh, you didn’t… did you?” Jake asked quietly. “What? Have sex with her? No. She apparently came to wake me up and then I grabbed onto her like I do and didn’t let go, so she just fell asleep. It’s really not a big deal.” he replied. “Do you guys seriously not believe him? The man hasn’t hooked up with anyone since… who knows when” you heard Sam shoot back. You could see the gesture Josh was likely making in your mind. They continued to talk below the register of your auditory perception, so you tried to ignore it as you finished getting ready for the day. 

When you emerged from the bathroom, you noticed that Josh had on a new shirt. The group was sitting along the benches and turned to look at you as you stepped out. They were quiet, probably wondering how much of their conversation you’d heard.

“Well, you look lovely,” Danny broke the silence as he handed you the cup of coffee he’d brought you that you’d left on the table. “Are we okay to take your bus to the distillery? I think you have more seating on here,” Jake asked you. You chuckled, “it’s still your bus. It’s totally fine!” Jake nodded before standing. “I’ll make sure everyone knows to meet up here. Olivia, Ava, Jack, Damion and Emily will be joining us. We will see if Albert wants to join us for lunch too. He offered to drive and give Dean the day off.” You all nodded and watched as Jake headed back outside. 

A short while later, everyone was loaded and you were headed towards the distillery. Everyone chatted and got to know each other better. Damion, another tour manager, took a huge interest in the wardrobe and asked you tons of questions as you looked through the different looks hanging in the closet.

 “I still can’t believe you make all this by hand. Completely from scratch,” Ava, a sweet, petite redhead in charge of the group’s marketing, had said as she peeked around Damion as you explained various elements on one of Jake’s suits. “It’s almost easier to go from nothing. They,” you pointed to the group, “have some amazing ideas. For the suits, I do the same base pieces based on their measurements, and Josh’s jumpsuits are the same base mostly, but Danny’s shirts are all unique. Each has a different cut. I use a mix of new fabric and thrifted stuff to make everything. Just to add a little more sustainability.” 

You continued to answer questions, Damion and Ava listening intently. You glanced over at the group to see Jack and Jake in a discussion while Emily, Olivia, Danny and Sam talked about something Olivia had pulled up on her phone. Josh sat at the end of the bench, half listening to Olivia, who was explaining something about social media, but watching you as you talked. You gave him a smile and he seemed to realize he was watching you, pausing for a second before returning your smile and turning back towards Olivia. 

You grabbed your purse from the desk as the bus pulled into the parking lot of the distillery. Danny came up beside you and whispered, “I’m going to need to be drunk if Olivia keeps talking to me about social media.” You stifled a laugh, but subtly nodded. Everyone headed off of the bus and you paused to check in with Albert before descending the steps. “Will you join us for lunch Albert?” you asked. “Oh, no, I have my lunch right here,” he said, patting the little cooler he almost always had next to his chair. “You sure?” you checked. He nodded, “positive. Have a great time!” 

You joined the group and headed to get checked in, Emily rushing forward and taking care of all the details. Everyone had their ID’s checked and received a wristband. The group milled about the entrance, which was covered in artifacts and pictures. You were looking at a picture of a family, the parents holding squirming toddlers and grinning widely, when you felt someone come up next to you. 

“That’s cute,” Josh said, pointing to the picture. He noted the date on the bottom corner and smiled. “I bet they had no idea what was to come. How things would change,” he reflected. “I can’t get over that sweet face,” you replied, pointing to the toddler the mom was holding, his chubby face full of glee and excitement. “You like babies?” Josh asked casually. “Oh, definitely. My sister has 2 kids and they’re the absolute best. A lot of work, but so worth it,” you answered honestly.

“Do you want kids?” Josh asked. You swallowed. He’s just making conversation. “Definitely. One day. When things slow down,” you said, turning to him, “what about you?” He grinned, his eyes shining as he thought about it. “Definitely. Just have to find the right person. Parenting is such a life-altering journey, I want to do it with a solid partnership, ya know?” You nodded, completely in agreement. 

Josh changed the subject, whispering slightly, “I honestly hate bourbon. Why we couldn’t have gone to a vodka factory, I don’t know. Bourbon, whiskey, whatever. It tastes like lighter fluid.” You laughed in response, covering your mouth so as not to draw too much attention. He chuckled along with you, your laughter contagious. “I hate bourbon too. And whiskey. But, I think it’ll be interesting nonetheless. The history and process and such. How, though, do you know what lighter fluid tastes like?” you asked.

Josh thought for a moment before replying. “I have 2 brothers and we lived in nowhere, Michigan. We had a lot of free time. And my dear brother Jacob is a pyromaniac,” he said, raising his voice slightly at the end so Jake, who had wandered over towards you, could hear. Jake scoffed, “I’m hardly the pyromaniac twin, I’ll tell you that much.” 

A tour guide called the group over and began the tour. You hung out in the back with Josh and Sam, pointing out various things to each other and joking as you listened as your tour guide, also named Josh, educated you. Olivia had attached herself to Danny, following him around like a lost puppy. Danny threw Sam panicked looks when she got too close to him, touching him more than was socially acceptable. Olivia only peeled herself away for a few moments to get some content for social media, taking a few videos and pictures as the group toured. “I have a feeling Danny will be the main feature of whatever Olivia is up to,” Josh whispered and you chuckled. 

The tour progressed and you all listened to the guide, who Sam was referring to “Bourbon Josh,” discuss the aging process. “Is this why it tastes like shit? Because it just sits in fucking barrels?” Josh whispered and you chuckled before shrugging. Josh went over to one of the barrels and knocked on it. He gestured for you to come over to him and you did, Sam following. “It’s empty!” Josh whisper-yelled, knocking on the barrel again, beaming like he’d found out some giant secret. “No shit Josh, they won’t just have a full barrel of,” Sam leaned back to check the side, “whiskey out here in the walkway.” Josh gave him a face and you followed behind the group. 

You walked along the bottling line, watching as the bottles filed in to get filled. Josh was grimacing at the noise, a hand over his left ear. You both walked past the bottling viewing area and through a set of doors into a quieter area of the factory. He shook his head, running a hand over his ear absentmindedly. “You okay?” you asked and he nodded. “Damn eardrum. It’s more sensitive since we have been on tour because of the constant noise,” he explained. “That really sucks. I’m sorry you have to deal with that Josh,” you replied quietly. He gave you a soft smile. “Thanks. It’s luckily manageable.” 

You both milled about the room you’d entered as you waited for the group, reading the different plaques and laughing about various things. It was nice to just enjoy each other’s company in the quiet, whispering things back and forth as you walked around. It felt natural, Josh’s presence comforting.

The group caught up to you, Danny coming to be by your side. “You gotta help me out,” he said as you all walked into the tasting area. “What’s up?” you whispered back as Sam came over, wanting in on whatever was happening. “I gotta get away from Olivia. She’s handsy already and I don’t think alcohol is going to help,” he whispered back and Sam laughed before going to Danny’s other side, linking arms with him. You nodded, letting Danny put his arm over your shoulder as you moved in closer to him, watching as Olivia walked towards you. She shot you a look, but you smiled and pointed at the list of alcohols hanging on a sign. 

“Olivia, do you like bourbon?” you asked, trying to shift her attention. She turned to look at the sign and you shot Danny and Sam a glance. “I don’t know, what do you guys like?” she asked, turning back to ask mostly Danny the question. “I like bourbon. Whiskey’s good too. Sam’s more of the connoisseur though,” Danny replied, nudging Sam. “Oh, yeah, I love a good bourbon. I’ve tried a lot of local bourbons, but Basil Hayden is probably one of my favorites,” Sam replied, watching the bartender pour flights for everyone to try. The group moved forward to taste the different alcohols, Danny’s arm remaining around your shoulder. 

You shivered and made a face after tasting whatever had been handed to you. “Not good?” Danny asked with a chuckle. “Not my kind of thing, that’s for sure,” you replied, setting the paper cup, still containing some amber liquid, down. You watched Josh make a face similar to the one you had just made, swallowing quickly. Sam drank the rest of the bourbon in your cup before the next type was handed out. You smelled it and instantly handed it to Sam. You caught Josh’s eye and mouthed ‘fire starter’ to which he almost spit out the water he had been sipping. 

The group finished the tasting and headed over to the restaurant. You remained by Danny’s side, ensuring he was between you and Sam as you took your seats. Josh was on your other side and you sat across from Emily. 

You looked over the menu, searching for a drink that would not taste strongly of bourbon or whiskey. You gestured to the menu and whispered to Josh, who leaned in. “What here won’t taste like fire starter?” He shrugged, reading the options. Danny leaned over and pointed to a drink listed on the menu. “You guys would probably like this one,” he said before he pointed at a second one, “or this one.” He gave you a wink before returning to his own menu. When the waitress came around for drink orders, Josh ordered one and you ordered the other, knowing you’d both try the other’s. 

Everyone engaged in small talk while waiting for your drinks. “There’s a winery down the road, do you guys want to go there next?” Emily had asked, pulling up the info on her phone. The answer was a resounding yes and she nodded, getting up to go call the winery and check their availability. 

A few servers brought out everyone’s drinks as well as the appetizers that had been ordered for the table. You tried your drink before sliding it towards Josh, letting him taste it. He nodded before tasting his, making a face before sliding it to you to try. “Yours is really good, Josh,” you said after you’d tried it. He made a face. “You didn’t like it?” you asked, taking another sip. He shook his head. “I’m not a huge ginger fan and that is pretty ginger-y.” You pointed to the drink you’d ordered. “Do you want to switch?” He nodded and you swapped drinks, chuckling as you did so. 

Danny asked to try your drink and you let him, watching as he took a drink from the side versus the straw. “Mmm, that’s good,” he replied as he wiped his mouth. He raised his glass of bourbon towards you. “Do you want some?” he asked, his eyes glistening. “Definitely not, but I appreciate the gesture. Totally in good will, I know,” you joked and he laughed. You glanced over at Oliva, who’d gotten the same type of bourbon as Danny and was trying to make conversation with him across the table. She’s trying so hard it’s nearly comical.

The drinks and conversation flowed as the group ate, enjoying each other’s company. After you’d all finished, Emily took care of the bill and you all headed to the bus, ready for the next stop. 

You pulled up to the winery and everyone exited the bus. Albert gave you a salute as you headed down the stairs behind Sam, Danny right behind you. You all filed into the tasting room and had a seat at the counter, Jake on your left, Josh on your right. You all looked over the menu, making your selections for your flights while the barista checked everyone’s ID’s.

You were slightly buzzed from the tasting earlier followed by three strong drinks. You and Josh giggled over some of the names of the wines. You made your selections and the barista started pouring samples for everyone. You enjoyed this tasting much more, the fruity and sweet notes of the wine taking preference over the more harsh taste of the bourbons and whiskeys. 

The group continued to chat and you ordered one of their wine slushies. “I kinda want to walk around their little gardens,” you said as you waited for your drink. Josh had ordered one too, interested in the concept although he was scared he wasn’t going to like it. “I’ll go with you,” Josh offered and you nodded after the barista handed you both your drinks. You both headed outside, Sam, Ava and Danny following behind. 

Everyone strolled around the gardens, Sam pointed out different plants and trees as you all walked. Ava threw in random facts alongside Sam, clearly a match for him in what Danny referred to as “fauna knowledge.” You strolled alongside Josh who was quiet. His face was slightly flush from the alcohol, his movements ever so slightly slowed from the buzz. He had reached out to squeeze your hand as you walked, Danny, Sam and Ava a little ways ahead. You turned to face him. 

“You good?” you asked him and he gave you a smile and nod. You were both standing closer than you’d realized, his hand still gripping onto yours. He smelled sweet, like the frozen wine concoction he’d been sipping on, his lips red from the deep color of the slushy and the cold. You searched his eyes for a moment, noticing the slight tint of gold that laid within the dark brown of his iris. “You guys gotta see this little frog guy!” you heard Sam call from up ahead, breaking the moment as Josh let go of your hand. You both headed down the path, inspecting the figurine Sam had found.

Everyone finished their drinks, a couple people opting to buy a few bottles of wine on the way out. You all headed back onto the bus and you made sure to greet Albert on your way back. You sat at your desk and listened to the conversations going on around you, pleasantly buzzed and warm from the company.

Everyone split up when you got back to the hotel. “I need a nap,” you’d said, stifling a yawn as you caught the elevator up to the sixth floor with the guys. “I second that,” Sam replied, everyone else agreeing with you two. “I guess we can reconvene for dinner?” Jake asked, checking his phone. Everyone agreed before separating. You barely got your shoes off before you collapsed onto the bed, falling asleep quickly.

___________________________________________

A knock at the door woke you up. You grumbled as you rolled out of bed, making your way to the door. A quick glance through your peephole confirmed it was Danny and Sam, so you opened your door. Jake and Josh appeared from out of sight as everyone walked in, Jake and Danny taking a seat at the table in the corner while Josh and Sam sat on your unmade bed. “We figured you were asleep, but that you’d probably want dinner,” Jake said, gesturing to the clock. Four hours had passed and it was now 8:30 pm. “Damn, I did not mean to sleep that long!” you exclaimed and Danny laughed. “Don’t be too alarmed- Sam just woke up too.” Sam shot him a middle finger before laying back on your bed. 

“So there’s a restaurant that has, like, a bunch of outdoor games and stuff? Do you guys want to go there?” Jake offered, pulling up information on his phone to show Danny. Everyone agreed and Jake called up an Uber. You all waited for confirmation before heading down to the lobby.

A couple of fans had asked for a picture when you’d passed through the lobby, something the group gladly agreed to. After taking a few photos and exchanging hugs and small talk, you all headed out and climbed into the uber for the short drive across the bridge to the restaurant. 

The hostess took your names and gave the group a pager, letting you know it’d be a twenty minute wait. Everyone ambled up to the bar, deciding to order a drink and play some of the games that were sitting out in a large outdoor area. You ordered a spiked lemonade with an extra shot, figuring you were sober enough now for it. Josh kept score as you and Jake went against Sam and Danny at cornhole. You and Jake were winning when the pager went off, signaling that your table was ready. 

Everyone ordered before heading to the turf area beside your table to play a game of giant beer pong. Jake kept score this time and you teamed up with Josh. Both of you were terrible at the game, missing the bright orange trash cans each time it was your turn to throw. Sam and Danny beat you easily, but you were having so much fun you hardly even noticed. Your waitress brought you all another round of drinks and you switched out with Jake, hoping the twins would be able to have some sort of luck against their younger brothers. 

Sam and Danny had a good lead on Jake and Josh when the food arrived, everyone forfeiting the game. You were on your third lemonade, each one seeming stronger than the last. You and Sam had gotten impossible burgers after a passionate talk about how much you both loved them, yet the constant struggle you both faced with people not knowing how to correctly cook them. You were both satisfied with the way this restaurant had made the burgers, Sam promising he’d actually leave a good review. 

“Sam is a review fiend,” Jake joked, Danny and Josh nodding in agreement. “What does that even mean?” you questioned and Sam held up a finger as he swallowed. “I have like, 500 yelp reviews that I’ve done,” Sam said, grinning as he pulled his phone out to show you. “He does one for everywhere we eat or stay,” Danny finished explaining. “And he is a harsh critic,” Josh added with a chuckle. “Hey, I am fair, but honest, okay?” Sam defended. “Show her the one for that one place we ate in New York. Now THAT was harsh,” Jake said, gesturing to Sam’s phone. Sam shook his head, “I actually deleted that one. I didn’t even want the place associated with me.” Danny and Jake erupted in fits of laughter as Josh leaned towards you, filling you in on a drunken search for a slice of pizza gone wrong.  

“So the rat… just took an entire piece of pizza from right in front of you? From the display? And nobody did anything?” you questioned, Jake confirming as he rocked back, tears forming as he laughed. You chuckled, realizing it definitely had to be one of those instances where you just HAD to be there to get it. Josh gave you a look and rolled his eyes, clearly not as amused as his three bandmates. 

Everyone finished their meals and a waiter brought the check as the restaurant started to close down. “Damn, only 10 pm and you guys are already closing for the night?” Jake said to the waiter, who agreed that it was early. “There’s a bar down the street that’s open until 3. They have an interesting vibe and the drinks are good,” the waiter replied, pointing down the street. 

“To the bar?” Jake asked and everyone agreed. Josh put his arm through yours and swung his legs wide, bumping into you as you strolled down the street. You laughed, the buzz you were feeling made the situation hilarious. Danny moved to the outside of the two of you to keep you both from side-stepping into the street, laughing as he watched you two. You giggled before grabbing onto him and pulling him along with you as you and Josh took comically large and swinging steps. 

You all made your way to the bar and everyone ordered another drink. You and Josh each chose a drink from the menu of hilarious names, the other three opting for beers. Once you’d received your drinks, everyone ambled out to the outdoor area that had some games scattered about. It was quiet, but then again, it was a Thursday.

You played connect-four with Sam while Danny and Jake played a few rounds of corn hole. Josh sat at the table next to you, paying attention to both games. Everyone was able to relax and enjoy the quieter atmosphere and a waitress or bartender brought out another round of drinks. Things were starting to get very loose, your face warm as you continued to giggle at almost anything and everything. 

It was around 1 am when the group decided to head back to the hotel. Danny paid the tab, leaving a large tip for the bartenders, while Jake called up an Uber. You stood up from the picnic table, stumbling back slightly as your foot got caught. You slumped into Josh who laughed as he helped straighten you. “You’ve had a bit, huh?” he asked, giggling at his question because he was also clearly gone. “No, I can hold my own,” you said as you faked being more sober, starting to walk towards the gate. Josh was the first to erupt in a fit of laughter at your charade, linking his arms in yours as you all headed towards the street to wait for the Uber. 

The ride back consisted of you and Josh cracking up the entire time, the other three finding your shenanigans equally as comical as whatever you and Josh were laughing at. Getting out of the Uber, your phone clattered to the ground and Josh grabbed it as you headed inside the lobby, Danny shushing you both. Y

ou all made it up to your rooms, Danny reminding you all that you needed to be up around 10 in order to make it to sound check by 11:30. “Why so early?” Sam said with a huff, “we don’t actually perform until like… what? 8?” Jake shrugged, “you take that up with Emily, why don’t you? Tomorrow.” Everyone said their goodnights and headed separate ways. Danny and Sam walked you to your door, ensuring you got in. “You good?” Danny asked as you opened the door. “Just peachy. I’ll see you two in the morning!” you said before closing the door behind you. 

You had just pulled off your shoes when you heard a knock on your door. A quick check through the peephole revealed that Josh was standing outside your door. You opened the door and he stumbled in, his arm still pressed against the door as you opened it. You both stumbled back as you laughed at his mistake, him pressed against the wall beside you. He held your phone out to you and you took it, your hand brushing against his as you took it. “You forgot something. Kind of important,” he chuckled, looking up from your phone to you. His cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol, his pupils wide. You both stared at each other for a moment in complete silence.

Josh slowly moved closer to you, testing the waters as he brought a hand to your face and moved a stray piece of hair out of your eyes. You glanced from his lips back to his eyes and he understood, leaning in to press his lips to yours. 

The world felt like it was spinning- something about the alcohol, the way Josh smelled and tasted and the exhaustion made your head fuzzy. The kiss you and Josh shared deepened quickly, both of you running your hands over each other’s bodies. He pressed you back against the wall with his body as you gently tugged at his shirt. He quickly took it off, throwing it onto the floor as he leaned back in to kiss you, his hands grabbing at you. 

You quickly lifted your shirt over your head and he kissed down your neck, lightly nibbling at your collarbone. Your hands found their way to his waistband and you slid your hands underneath it as you went to undo the button. He stiffened and you instantly stopped. “What?” you slurred as he pulled away slightly, removing your hands from his pants and holding them in his. 

“I feel like we… probably shouldn’t do this… you know, because we are drunk. Because… professionalism and all that,” he said softly as he exhaled and leaned back into the wall opposite of you. You both took a few deep breaths, steadying yourselves. 

“No, you’re right. Definitely,” you agreed, although every fiber of your being begged you to continue. You could tell he was struggling too, an erection straining against the fabric of his pants, a light layer of sweat on his forehead. He ran a hand over his face and you bent to pick up his shirt, handing it to him. You both shuddered when your hands met as you handed him the shirt. He quickly pulled the shirt back over his head and nodded as he headed towards the door. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said with a slight smile before heading out the door, gently closing it behind him.

You collapsed onto the bed, your mind traveling at lightspeed. Was that just a drunken mishap? Did he REALLY want to have sex with me? Would he have had sex with me? Obviously it was a mistake… You fell asleep thinking about the what if’s, your thoughts swirling in your head.

“You’re pissed, aren’t you?” you asked before taking a sip of your drink, waiting for his response. Josh scribbled furiously on the pad of paper before lifting it up to show you. ‘You have no idea’ it said in his sloppy, rushed scroll. You leaned your head back and laughed before continuing, “this is going to be a hard couple of days for you, huh?” He glared at you, eyes sharp, before nodding. He got up and padded to the kitchen. You heard him clink bottles and move things around and you got up to go help him with whatever he was working on. “No alcohol either Josh, come on,” you said, reaching to grab the bottle of tequila from his hand, giggling. He spun and glared at you, clearly irritated at you finding his situation humorous. 

You had both gone to a festival the past week during his break from touring. Josh had overdone it with the yelling and singing along to the various bands. That, in addition to the dehydration he faced (he drank more alcohol than water that weekend) had led to him losing his voice. For most people, this would be no big deal. For a rockstar going back on tour in a week, this was detrimental. Josh’s doctor had put him on a strict regime- no talking and keeping anything that could irritate his vocal chords and throat to a minimum. Smoking, alcohol and sugar were off-limits as an abundance of caution. 

“So basically,” you said, intending to fuel the fire, “I can be as drunk and loud as I want, and you can’t stop me OR partake.” He gave you a grimace. “At least you’re the most theatrical person I know so your face can talk for you. But you’re also a rambling little old man who can’t stand to not hear your voice, so I know this is truly killing you,” you said, patting his shoulder. He rolled his eyes before watching you as you walked towards the fridge. You opened it and paused. “What do we want for dinner?” you asked, turning to face him. Josh’s mouth opened for a second. “Nuh uh, notepad,” you said, pointing to the notepad he had comically been wearing on a string around his neck. 

Josh rolled his eyes and walked over to you, pointing at various things in the fridge. “I’m not going to read your mind Joshua, use your notepad,” you said, clearly feigning annoyance. He turned to look at you, clearly irritated. You laughed hard, taking a few steps back after swinging the fridge door shut. ‘You drank too much wine’ he wrote before showing you. You nodded, “that’s true. Dealing with you being silent and mindreading is not a sober task.” You paused, watching his face contort with irritation “What? Is this really making you that mad? Because you can’t talk?” you said, moving forward and pointing a finger into his chest. He grabbed the notepad and scribbled ‘stop antagonizing me.’ “Never Josh, this is too much fun.” 

In an instant, he grabbed you and pushed you into the kitchen counter. “Oh, feisty huh?” you said, laughing. The whole situation was so funny- a seldom quiet man suddenly rendered silent. He leaned in to kiss you, hard, his hands finding their way to your butt and gripping. “Oh, no way Josh. There’s no way you’re going to have sex with me and stay silent. Impossible,” you said, scoffing at him. ‘Bet I can’ he wrote on his notepad, giving you a smirk. “Challenge accepted. If I make you talk, you owe me dinner,” you said. He nodded, giving you a wide grin. The thing about you was that you were a sore loser, so you simply didn’t lose. This was going to be a very fun night.

You placed both hands on Josh’s face and kissed him hard and passionately. You lifted his shirt off and ran your hands over his chest, playing with the small patch of chest hair that had started to grow during his time off. He tugged at your shirt and you obliged, removing it swiftly. “Let’s relocate before we really get into this,” you said, turning to pull him behind you. He paused- you knew he probably wanted to fuck you over the kitchen counter, but you weren’t about to let him win. You tugged at him, “come on, it’s my call tonight since you can’t tell me otherwise.” He huffed, but complied and followed you to your room. 

Once there, you quickly removed your pants and Josh did the same. You reached out to pull him closer to you as you sat on the bed, letting your hand trail down from his jaw, along his stomach and to his clothed erection. You rubbed your hand up and down it and he let his head fall back, clearly enjoying the sensation. You slid your hands under his underwear, pulling them down. His dick popped up, slapping his stomach. You giggled- clearly the wine you’d drank went straight to your head. 

Josh narrowed his eyes at you, lacing his hand in your hair and slightly pulling you forward, towards his erection. “Oh no, Josh, I’m on vocal rest, too. Gotta be easy on the throat,” you said, leaning back. He let out a growl, clearly unimpressed. “Shhh,” you murmured, “don’t strain yourself baby.” He started to stroke himself, watching you. “I can give you a little help,” you said, pulling yourself forward and leaning over, making deep eye contact with him before letting a stream of spit roll off of your tongue and onto his cock. He watched you before letting his eyes roll back with pleasure, groaning. “Hush,” you said, moving further onto the bed. You propped yourself up on some pillows, “I’ll be making the noise tonight. Or did you forget?”

 You ran your hands up and down your thighs before reaching up to pull your bralette down, letting your breasts spill out over the top. He sucked in a deep breath- you knew he loved the way they sat over the lacy fabric. You leaned your head back, letting your hands rub against your bare breasts and chest. He watched you, entranced, as he slowly stroked himself. 

You slowly let your hands slide down to your thighs, gripping the soft skin the way Josh often did. You palmed yourself over your underwear, “Wow, I’m so wet. I wonder who did that?” you asked, giving him a raised eyebrow. You could hear the response he’d want to give in your head- something to stroke his own ego yet also remind you that you were his. You slowly moved your underwear to the side, brushing your fingers around your cunt. You knew going slow tormented him, and you could tell it was working with how hard he was and the way his face was now completely flushed. He watched you, his eyes begging for more. 

You stroked between your lips with your middle finger, using the wetness to start making small, lazy circles on your clit. You let out some pornographic moans, really amping up the optics as you slipped a finger in, then two. “Fuck Josh, I’m so wet.” He reached out to touch and you snapped at him “no talking, no touching.” He let out a low guttural growl from deep in his throat. “Quit,” you said, before returning to pleasuring yourself. You watched him, his cock leaking precum. “Mmm, wish I could taste that,” you said and his eyes lowered to see what you were looking at. He squeezed it onto his finger before moving towards you, holding it out for you. You leaned in and sucked his finger into your mouth, swirling your tongue against him. He sucked in a quick breath, letting his head loll. 

You pulled back, releasing his finger with a pop. He watched you perched back, taking in the sight. “What do you want, Josh?” you asked, clearly antagonizing him. He lowered his head, looking up at you from beneath his curly hair. “What, baby?” you asked, giving him sweet, puppy-dog eyes. He lurched forward, pushing you back as he flattened himself on top of you. He held a hand over your mouth, silencing you for the first time that night. He leaned in close to your face before uttering the first words he’d said in almost 24 hours- “I need to fuck you.” His voice was hoarse, but still strong, lower in register and volume than he typically spoke. You removed his hand from your mouth, “so do it,” you said, grinning- you had won. 

He shoved inside of you and you both gasped, Josh’s forehead falling to meet yours. He pumped in and out of you with long, deep strokes. His right hand massaged your breasts, pulling on them as he wrestled with the fabric underneath them. “Fuck me harder, Josh,” you commanded. He flipped you over, spreading your ass before slapping it hard. You jumped at the sting and he wasted no time entering you again and fucking you hard. He wrapped his hands in your hair, pulling your head back. He leaned forward and kissed you, giving you a split second of his signature sweetness before he continued to fuck you senseless. 

You let him continue for a moment with his rhythm. “Let me get on top,” you said and he pulled out of you before dropping back onto the bed next to you. You slid over him, reaching down to help guide yourself onto him. You bounced a few times, reaching out to steady yourself with your hands on his chest. You then sat back and let your hips roll on top of him, enjoying your view of him under you. He reached out, placing his thumb onto your clit and circling it. He worked with you, the combination doing wonders. 

“Fuck Josh, I’m going to cum,” you announced, knowing he loved hearing you say it. You leaned forward to look him deep in his eyes as you moaned, cumming hard. You stopped riding him as you came, legs jolting underneath you. He took the break to push you back, getting back on top of you. He pressed his palm into your wet cunt, letting you finish riding your orgasm with the pressure he knew you loved. 

“Your turn,” you said, smiling at him. He grunted as he started to move in and out with deep strokes. His movements got sloppy quickly as he was clearly getting closer to the edge. “Cum for me Josh,” you said, locking eyes with him. That was all it took for him to cum, leaning forward to rest his head in the crook of your neck as he jolted, cumming deep inside you. 

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

Taking a bite of a burger, you sat back in the chair and chewed, watching Sam. He was taking a bite of his potato, clearly displeased about the lack of choices for dinner. You watched him add another packet of sour cream before mixing everything together. “You know, you could’ve gotten one of those bean burritos,” you chided and he shot you a look. The last time Sam had gotten a gas station burrito, he had gotten violently ill and you’d almost had to cancel a gig. That was back in the early days when it was just the four of you traveling the country in a van. Now, it seemed like everything had changed. 

“You know they’ll get over it, right?” you continued, watching him as you took another bite. Sam’s face fell as he took in your words. “I know. I also know I fucked up though.” You nodded, “that’s an understatement.” Sam rolled his eyes before taking another bite and reaching for the beer he’d opened up earlier. “What can I say? She looked good. I can’t say no to a hot girl on her knees, begging.” 

You grimaced at the crassness of his statement. “You can always say no Sam. It’s called ‘self restraint’” you quipped. “I know discipline isn’t your strong suit at the moment,” you continued and he cut you off. “Says who? What does that mean?” he shot back. Hit a nerve there I guess. “Says me. Sam, you play the part of ‘youngest brother’ well. That’s all I mean.” He raised his eyebrows, clearly expecting another answer, although he brushed you off. “Yeah, I fucked up. Been more than once. Pretty sure the world is still turning and burning,” he responded. You decided to drop the issue- clearly he was not in the mood to have a serious discussion.

Sam turned to you, his eyes narrowing in the way they did when he was about to dig into you. “What about you? You’ve been awfully chaste on this trip.” You shook your head and chuckled. “I’ve never been one for dressing room hookups. You know that as well as anyone.”

Sam nodded and took another sip of his beer. “It’s hard to see anyone else when we are constantly in the presence of such a gorgeous and talented woman,” you replied softly. Sam laughed, throwing his head back. “You’re kidding? Emily?” he joked. You shook your head and made a face. “Not Emily, although she’s amazing. And happily married. You know who I’m talking about.” You clarified, her name rolling off your tongue smoothly, almost sweet to the taste. 

“Oh. I thought you were joking about that. Just a little crush or whatever when you’d talked about her before,” Sam followed up. He shifted in his seat and downed the rest of his beer. “She’s something else. I know she drives you up a wall for some reason but… I don’t know. 

I guess it is just a little crush,” you said softly. Sam cleared his throat and asked you about a setting on his bass, clearly wanting to change the topic. You let him steer the conversation but remained puzzled as to why he clearly disliked this girl you were starting to care more deeply about.

Sam had fallen asleep in the chair, beer in one hand, bass slung across his lap. You chuckled to yourself as you carefully pulled the beer out of his hand, setting it in a cup holder before getting ready for bed. You grabbed a change of clothes and the bag containing your toiletries. You smiled at the bag which had your name embroidered on the front. “For the road! So you always know which one is yours!” your mom had exclaimed as she had lovingly presented it to you. She and your sister had picked the font and color out together and had been so excited to give it to you. You took a selfie with the bag and sent it to your family’s group chat.

Show went great tonight! Thinking about you guys and missing you tons! 

You got ready for bed and slipped into your bunk. You always took the bottom left bunk, Sam always choosing the top left. The twins used to flip a coin over their bunks, but as you all grew older, Jake let Josh have the top bunk and chose the bottom for himself. “Just don’t put your whole nasty ass foot on my bed,” Jake would grumble, although you knew he truly would never care. Sleep took you over quickly, the day’s events finally coming to a close. 

____________________________________________

“Get up Dan the man, we are here,” Josh said in a sing-song voice as he reached through the bunk’s curtains to smack your leg. You groaned, but rolled to open the curtain. He stood in front of you, beaming. “We are here!” he exclaimed and you laughed. “Heard you the first time. You sure are chipper,” you groaned as you sat up, slipping your legs out of the bed. “I slept great!” Josh replied as he turned to change his shirt. “That makes one of us,” you heard Sam grumble from above you. 

You leaned forward and turned to see Sam’s head poking out of the curtains of his bunk, deep purple bags under his eyes. “You guys think the makeup lady will have that ice thing for my face?” Sam asked and Josh turned and pointed at him. “Her name is Linda, first of all. And I will specifically tell her not to let you use it because you don’t know her name,” Josh huffed as he changed his pants. “Whatever,” Sam grunted as he rolled over.

“Nuh uh, you gotta get up! You need to try on your suit for tonight!” Josh said, standing on his toes to smack at Sam. “Josh, if you don’t kindly fuck off, I will kick you in the head. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again,” Sam grumbled.

Jake appeared and swatted at Sam’s leg. “Get up. Do not keep her waiting after all you’ve put her through,” he ordered and Sam groaned before sliding out of bed and walking to the bathroom. “Does she need me too?” you asked, hoping the answer was yes. “Yeah, she needs you to try on your stuff too,” Jake answered as he worked on getting changed. 

You got changed and brushed your teeth quickly, wanting to spend some time alone with her before Sam headed over to try on his suit. You were excited for tonight’s outfit- it was one of the ones you’d helped design. You reflected back on when you first met her.

Six months ago 

 She had welcomed you into her studio with open arms. You had been nervous about working with a new designer, but Josh had assured you that she was the real deal- talented beyond compare, with an eye for detail even though she worked at breakneck speeds. Her welcoming and comforting nature instantly put you at ease and Josh urged you to show her pictures you’d found that you wanted her to draw inspiration from. 

You’d been hesitant, and she had sensed that, never prying and instead asking for general ideas before you warmed up to the idea of showing her what you’d been thinking about. It had been a stretch of an idea- a mostly sheer fabric with gold chains draping across. She’d loved the idea and really ran with it, taking notes in her sketchbook about the way you wanted things to reflect and drape. It had been a moment of a long, drawn out conversation about different looks each of you wanted, but it had stuck with both of you. 

She had emailed sketches later that week, more amazing than you could have dreamed. At the first try on, she’d pulled out the shirt for tonight and you’d been ecstatic at the progress- somehow it was everything you’d wanted but tailored to fit you perfectly. She had put thought into everything- the right shade for your skin, the way things hung to accentuate your anatomy, every piece placed strategically. 

You continued to reminisce as you walked to her bus. Albert greeted you as he finished gathering his stuff up before heading into the hotel. “Oh, you just missed her! She was headed up for a quick shower,” Albert said, giving you a smile. “Okay! I’ll just hang out here and wait for her, if that’s okay,” you replied, returning his smile. You liked the older gentleman- he reminded you of your grandpa a bit, his southern accent just recognizable. He gave your shoulder a pat before walking off the bus. You decided to text Sam and let him know he didn’t need to rush over.

You: She went to shower, so you have some time.

Sam: Good, I’m going back to sleep. Call me when she’s ready for me.

You chuckled at his response before opening maps and seeing what was around. You saw a cafe about two blocks from the hotel. You decided to send her a text.

I am going to grab some coffee and a muffin. What would you like?

She responded within seconds.

I’d kill for a blueberry muffin and a chai latte : )

You: You got it! 

You stuck your head into the other bus on your way. “You guys want coffee and something for breakfast?” you asked the group. “Hell yeah, can I come with?” Josh asked and you nodded. He hopped down from his bunk where he’d been reading. “Get me something, will you?” Jake added and Josh nodded. You knew Sam had fallen back asleep given that he didn’t stick his head out asking for something. 

You and Josh chatted as you made your way to the cafe. You both surveyed the menu for a moment before Josh pulled out his phone. “I should ask our girl if she wants something. She was up late working on Sam’s jacket,” Josh said as he started to type out a message. 

Our girl? What does that mean? Well… I guess she does work for all of us and we are all close to her. Closer to her than any of the rest of the crew. 

“I texted her and got her order, don’t worry,” you replied, giving him a smile. He nodded and turned back to double check the menu. When it was your turn to order, Josh ordered himself a blueberry muffin and dirty chai latte and a macchiato for Jake. You ordered for her and got a bagel and latte for yourself. “Do you think Sam wants a coffee?” you asked Josh. He nodded and added a cappuccino and chocolate chip muffin to the order. You used the tour card to pay for the order before joining Josh at a table by the counter to wait for the order. 

“How’d you sleep?” Josh asked as his eyes darted around the cafe, taking in all of the various odds and ends before tracing back to you. “I slept well. I miss my bed though,” you replied, watching him. Josh was always taking things in, observing. He pointed to a book on a bookshelf against the wall. “You read that last tour, didn’t you?” he asked casually. You looked to see what he was pointing at and saw that he was right. “I did. Good memory, as always Josh. Too bad you can’t remember your own lyrics sometimes,” you poked at him. He chuckled in agreement. 

A couple of guys approached your table and asked for a picture, which you and Josh were glad to do. Josh was caught in a conversation with one of them when your order number was called, ending the conversation. “See you guys tonight!” Josh told the group before joining you at the counter to grab the order. 

The walk back went quickly, Josh checking over your shoulder to make sure you weren’t being followed by a crowd. You had all mostly gotten used to the fame, but Josh could still be slightly uneasy around larger crowds. Josh took out your order and handed it to you and you grabbed your drinks from the carrier before heading to the wardrobe bus. You finagled the food and drinks to unlock the bus door before walking up the stairs. 

“Hey,” you called out softly. No response. You walked towards the back and put her coffee and muffin at the spot where she always sat before taking a seat on the bench and unwrapping your bagel. You chewed as you inspected the space. She had Sam’s suit on the mannequin in the corner and your pants were laid out next to the sewing machine. 

You pulled out your phone and scrolled through social media as you waited. The disgusting comments had started to subside as the fans started to theorize about what the setlist for tonight’s show would be and what the outfits would look like. Some of them had pieced together that each state had a color, some of them even guessing that tonight’s show would be orange. You couldn’t help but laugh at how serious they were about some things- who knew something as simple as a color scheme would send people scattering. 

You looked up as the bus door opened. Sam climbed aboard, shoving the last of his muffin into his mouth. He plopped down on the bench next to you. “Where is she?” he asked as he chewed. The time on your phone sent up a red flag- it’d been almost an hour. You called her, sipping your coffee as you waited.

“Hey! I’m coming down right now, I am so sorry, I totally fell asleep and…” she trailed off and you heard the elevator ding. “It’s fine! Don’t worry about it! We will see you in a second!” you reassured. “Okay, bye!” she said quickly before she hung up. You put your phone back on the table and finished your bagel. “Is she okay?” Sam asked. “Yeah, she just fell asleep. She’s on her way down,” you replied. He nodded and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes as he waited. 

She flew onto the bus, clearly frazzled as she put down her stuff. “I am so sorry guys, I sat down for one minute and just fell right asleep,” she said, brushing her wet hair off of her face. Her cut was looking better, her face less swollen and her black eye nearly gone aside from the slight tinge of yellow ringing her eye socket. 

You grabbed her drink and handed it to her. “It’s okay. It happens. It’s not like you’re up into odd hours of the night working for us or anything.” She smiled at you, instantly relaxing as she took a sip. “Sam if you want to try your suit on, you can take it off the form. It’s all ready. Hopefully,” she sighed as she handed you the pants from next to the sewing machine. “These should be fine, but if you wouldn’t mind trying them on for me just to be sure, that’d be great,” she said before quickly turning and moving to rummage in the closet. 

She worked so quickly, you swore you could blink and you’d miss her. You instantly smiled as she carefully removed your shirt from the rack, turning to show you. “I think it turned out pretty great. We need to check the range of motion though, like always,” she stated as she handed it to you. Sam was waiting by the form patiently, watching the two of you. 

“What’s up Sammy?” she asked, pausing. She usually called him Sam, even though he usually couldn’t care less whether people called him Sam or Sammy. He smiled at her and gestured to the form. “I’m too scared to touch it,” he said, wearing his anxiety on his sleeve for once.

It was like the wall between the two of them had suddenly fallen, both of them instantly relaxing as she walked over to show Sam the best way to take the jacket off the form, ensuring him that he won’t hurt anything. He still moved carefully, slipping it over his bare back and slowly putting his arms in the sleeves. “Shit, this is heavy,” he joked as he jostled, a slight tinkling noise coming from the adornments. 

Her face fell. “It’s too heavy?” she asked timidly. “No! It’s fine! Like we talked about, I always shed my jacket anyways,” he clarified, running his hands lightly over the jacket. He went to the mirror and examined the jacket from multiple angles before turning back to her. “I love it,” he smiled and she beamed. “Really?” she asked. He nodded before carefully removing it. “Do you want me to put it on a hanger?” he asked. Look who has come full circle, hanging up his own clothes and everything. 

She grabbed a hanger from the closet and handed it to him before turning to admire your outfit. Her eyes gleamed with pride, her smile infectious. “That good, huh?” you asked before walking over to the mirror. She wasn’t overreacting- it looked fantastic. Somehow she had been able to take every idea you’d had and make an even better, tangible version. “I’m speechless,” you uttered before turning to face her. Sam had a look of amazement on his face. “Shit, they’re gonna go nuts tonight. I don’t know how we can get better than this,” he said quietly. 

After the clothes had been carefully put away, you helped her clean out your shoes from the night before, something she had forgotten to do. “You really don’t have to do that,” she had maintained, trying to gently take the pair of black boots from your hands. “If I do mine while you do Jake’s, we can knock it out in half the time.” She shrugged. “You have a good point,” was all she said as she handed you the foot powder to dust inside. “This is why I don’t wear shoes,” Sam chimed in from his spot on the bench, “too much extra work for you.” She smiled at him. “Why, thank you Sammy. Truly a gallant sacrifice.” He chuckled as he finished his coffee, watching you two work. I don’t know what’s changed, but I’m glad it has.

You and Sam hung out on the wardrobe bus for a few hours, the three of you enjoying each other’s company as you chatted. She had worked on finishing the wardrobe for Kentucky, showing you and Sam each piece as she pulled it out to figure out what needed to be finished. 

“That’s a new style,” you noted as she showed you Josh’s outfit. The main part of the outfit was almost like the dusters he’d worn on the last tour, except it was actual fabric and buttoned near what would be the navel area. She pulled out a pair of pants, placing it under the top, showing how it would look when completed.

“It’s definitely something different. He actually got the idea from one of these wedding outfits I’d designed in school- it had to be “dress-like” but not a dress. Everyone did jumpsuits but I figured a cross between a cape and a shirt with a separate pair of pants would be kinda cool. Hopefully it works out. The fabric is breezy,” she moved the fabric to demonstrate, “so it shouldn’t be too hot or heavy. Unlike you,” she pointed to Sam, “he stays fully clothed during performances.” 

As if he could hear himself being talked about, Josh appeared. “Have you guys looked outside recently?” he said, out of breath as he sat down next to Sam. Jake was behind him, his sunglasses falling down the bridge of his nose. “Shit,” he sighed as he sat down next to you. “What’s going on?” you asked and Jake shook his head before pointing to the window. “Take a look for yourself.” 

You pulled the blinds down and saw a huge crowd, people swarming every inch of the parking lot. Sam was pressed behind you, watching. “Emily said we are going to head to the venue as soon as she can get Albert out here. It’s a mess. This group is really pushy,” Josh said as he ran his hands over his face. “That bad, huh?” Sam asked, going back to sit next to Josh. Josh nodded. “It’s the first time I’ve seen Emily genuinely nervous. We didn’t have enough security so they actually ended up grabbing Jake,” Josh said as he gestured towards his twin. 

“Are you okay?” she asked as she moved towards Jake. He finally pushed his sunglasses up onto his face and cleared his throat, “yeah, we are good. Again, they really don’t mean any harm, people just get excited.”

You all waited for Albert as she showed off the wardrobe for Kentucky. Josh was delighted with his outfit, raving about how excited he was to wear it. You watched her as she explained different elements to the group, her excitement palpable. The way she smiled so brightly when Josh gushed over his outfit and the way her eyes shone with pride when Jake gave her a nod of approval over his shoes, no matter what she did, she was stunning. Somehow she fit into your little group perfectly.

Albert finally made it onto the bus, his face flushed. “I had to fight off about a hundred women to get on here. Y’all must be the new Beatles or something,” he joked before taking his seat and slowly pulling out of the parking lot.

Taglist: @eyelinerjake @radmads-gvf @gretavansara