#gvf fluff

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The county road had quickly turned from sunbleached pavement to gravel. Danny’s car jostled on the loose rocks, but you could barely even tell. It felt like your body was shaking from sheer excitement. A worn wooden sign with a big red arrow appeared at the bottom of the hill, indicating where the pumpkin patch entrance was.

Danny knew how much you loved fall; it was one of his favorite seasons, too. Both of you were adorned in your coziest fall sweaters. You had stopped at a gas station on the way to the rural attraction, and the heat from the cheap coffee in your hands added to the comfy vibe. You downed the rest of the drink as your boyfriend pulled into a parking spot in the large open lot.

The pumpkin patch was surprisingly slow that morning, but you weren’t complaining. The small family-owned farm felt like a hidden gem, and it had become sort of a tradition for you and Danny. You’d find a free weekend that worked for both of you, choose each other’s sweaters, make the hour-long trek to the pumpkin patch, and spend all day together outdoors.

The pumpkin patch sat on acres and acres of land, with multiple patches to walk through, along with a quaint little barn full of goodies. There were lawn games, a couple slides, a hay bale maze, and your favorite - the corn maze.

As soon as you hopped out of the car, you made a beeline towards the central barn. Danny laughed, jogging after you and snatching your hand up in his. You beamed up at him.

“So, what’s the game plan?” he asked, swinging your arms back and forth between you. “Get some snacks at the barn, maybe some hot apple cider?”

“Duh. Then I was thinking we should start with the corn maze.”

Inside the barn, you had to control Daniel’s urge to buy you everything you wanted. There were popcorn balls, bricks of homemade fudge, gallons of apple cider, and more flavors of honey sticks than you thought possible. He gravitated towards the fudge, graciously taking every sample the employee would offer. You joined him, deciding you’d have to buy some on your way out. Before tackling the corn maze, however, you needed some fuel.

“Two apple ciders, please.” Danny ordered drinks for the two of you as you perused the honey sticks. There was no going wrong with classic clover honey, so you grabbed a few of those. It was always fun to try the different fruits, so you grabbed a raspberry and orange. There were more unique flavors as well, like chocolate brownie and even a cinnamon Fireball. You ended up grabbing a few of the Fireball flavors - the Kiszka’s would probably want to try those later.

Danny struggled a few times to get his honey stick open. With your coaching and reminding him to put it between his molars, you knew he got it when a wide smile showed on his face. He ate a clover stick in one quick pull of his fingers. You bit down on a raspberry flavored stick and decided to savor it. Danny handed you your hot cider, and you followed him out of the barn.

“Where to next, sweets? Corn maze?” He peered at you through his amber sunglasses, taking a careful sip of the piping hot drink in his hand.

“Yes! Corn maze! Follow me!” You overtook his stride and started leading. The entrance to the maze had an adorable wooden standee of a scarecrow pointing towards where the corn parted. You weaved through the beginning, where it was much easier. Danny grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently, just happy to tag along. 

The maze changed every year, but you still had a pretty good intuition. It helped that there was a pretty well trodden path to follow. After quite a few twists and turns, you stopped at your first dead end. Danny took the opportunity (and privacy) to wrap his arms around you from behind, stopping you from turning around. It was innocent, but you felt heat rise to your cheeks as he placed a gentle kiss to the back of your head. Before you could turn around to face him, you heard a piercing meow come from the dense corn field in front of you.

“What was that?” Danny asked, letting you out of the embrace.

“It sounded like a meow. But a pretty distressed one,” you guessed, looking around frantically. The meow came again, this time sounding a bit closer. “I think there’s a kitten stuck in the maze. He got lost like us! Come here, little guy…” You bent down, trying to peer into the thicket of corn. Danny parted the dead end and tried to step in between the stalks, you closely following him.

A little ways in and you could see a flash of black dart between towering stalks. The poor thing couldn’t have been older than 8 weeks old, trying its best to hide but getting frightened. Danny stopped and lowered himself down to a squat.

“C’mere little guy. It’s okay…” His voice was soft and sweet. You joined in, kneeling next to him and putting your hand out slowly. With a gentle “pspsps” from both of you, the kitten stopped its frantic movement and let out a smaller, more normal mewl. “We aren’t gonna hurt you.” Danny reached his hand out as well, moving slowly to not scare the little creature more than it already was.

The kitten crept slowly towards you, coming up to your boyfriend’s hand and giving it a hesitant sniff. After a few smells and an agonizing time spent being still as a statue, there seemed to be a truce. Danny slowly reached out with his large hands and scooped the kitten up. You stood from your crouched position, watching him hold it with such care.

“Oh my god. We have to take it home, Dan, please? Pretty please?”

“Y/N…” he quirked an eyebrow up at you, cradling the kitten up into his chest. “I don’t think we can do a kitten right now. Besides, I think it’s more important to get this little guy outta here.” The kitten settled into Danny’s soft sweater, tucking its little pink nose into his chest. “What do you think, bud?”

“Wait… don’t move.” Without any sudden movements, you sneakily took your phone from your pocket. “This might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” Opening your camera app, you took an obscene amount of photos of your boyfriend holding the kitten. It turned into an impromptu photo session, the kitten getting more and more comfortable with Danny. He held it up against his cheek. Loud purrs were emanating from the kitty’s tiny fuzzy body. Danny gave a toothy grin to the camera, and you could feel your heart melting from the cuteness.

Danny handed you the kitten, snapping some photos with his phone of you absolutely losing it over its adorableness. You refused to give the kitten back, so Danny simply took your other hand and led you away from the corn maze’s dead end.

After a few more twists and turns, you found a well worn path in the dirt again. The kitten didn’t seem to mind being held anymore. If anything, it was probably grateful to have warmth and an easy way out of the maze. Danny pointed ahead at an opening, one that seemed to lead to the rest of the pumpkin patch. Going through the stalks of corn, you found the official exit.

With the kitten still in tow, the three of you made your way back to the central barn. Part of you wanted to hide the kitten in your shirt, keeping him as a stowaway. Daniel found an employee and asked about the kitten, explaining your whole adventure finding it.

“Oh we have a whole litter! Poor thing, he must have strayed a little too far from the barn! Thank you for finding him, they usually just play in the back there,” she explained, pointing towards a gate that closed off part of the barn from the public. In the back, you saw the rest of the litter. The kitten you found seemed to be the only black cat, as there were orange, calico, and gray kittens tumbling around on the concrete floor. Seeing his siblings, the kitten started wriggling in your arms.

“I think he wants to go play, Y/N.” Danny put one hand on your shoulder and scratched the kittens ears with his other. Begrudgingly, you planted a sweet kiss on it’s tiny forehead and set it gently on the ground. The kitten bounded through the bars of the gate, running for his littermates and tackling an orange kitten to the ground. Your heart swelled at the idea of having pets of your own with Danny. It was easy to imagine curling up together on the couch, a cat of your own padding its way across the couch to join the cuddling.

You had to turn away from the kittens in case your impulse control failed you, lest you become a cat-napper.

Danny took your hand and led you out of the barn to explore the pumpkin patch more. Near the barn were a few slides made of giant old plastic pipes. They seemed child-sized, but that still didn’t stop your giant boyfriend from trying one of them. You stood at the end of the slide, immediately pulling your phone out to record him. He yelled from the top, giving you a wave and a loud “whoop” and entered the tube. In an anticlimactic end, you heard him scooching himself down. You tried your best to keep the recording stable, but it was difficult with laughs wracking your entire body.

“Okay. Maybe I’m too big for these now. Not much of a slide.” His large frame was tucked in on itself as he tried to exit the bottom. You reached out a hand to help him up, but he gave it a kiss before hoisting himself onto his feet.

“So maybe the slides aren’t our speed. How about the hay bale maze?” You asked, walking towards the large round bales. They were configured in a labyrinthian shape, much simpler than the corn maze.

“Ohh fuck yes,” Danny said under his breath. He gave your hand a squeeze, let go of it, and immediately ran towards the start. Before you could follow him into the maze, he launched himself onto the hay bale itself. Ignoring all of the children staring, he clambered onto the top and stood proudly, flinging his arms out to the side. “Come join me, Y/N!”

Your eyes darted around, seeing if any employees were going to yell at him for climbing the bales instead of doing the maze as it was intended. A lone teen with a pumpkin patch vest on looked at Danny, looked at you, and shrugged, turning his attention back to raking leaves. That felt like some sort of permission, so you started to scale the hay bale.

Danny reached a hand down to help hoist you up. The hay bales were pretty big, over 5 feet tall and luckily firm enough to support two grown adults. You were grateful for wearing a comfortable pair of boots, because as soon as you were up and on your feet, Danny laughed and darted away. He jumped across the path to another haybale, clearing at least a gap of at least 4 feet. He held a hand out to you again, inviting you to make the jump.

Getting across the gap was slightly nervewracking, but you made it across and landed into Danny’s arms. He gave you a small squeeze then went back to jumping across the hay. You couldn’t help but giggle at him. As you and Danny played on the hay, the children that had been completing the labyrinth joined in. Soon, there were more people on top of the hay playing than there were doing the maze as intended. A young girl no more than 5 started chasing Danny, and he was more than happy to join in the game. You sat down, swinging your legs off the edge and watched the fun.

Seeing him let his inner child go free, jumping and giggling alongside the kids, made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It was nice to watch him bloom and grow on stage and as a musician, but moments like these reminded you why you truly loved him. He was himself, whoever that was – it was perfect for you.

After jumping on nearly every haybale and completing the maze from above, you sat down on top of one and plopped down onto your back. Danny bounded over to you, joining you in laying down and looking at the wide open sky. For being a crisp fall day, the warming sun was a welcome addition. A few wispy clouds rolled by here or there, but it was lovely just to lay together and simply exist for a bit. Your lover’s arms pulled you over onto his chest, rubbing small circles into your back as you cuddled on the hay.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed up there, but the sky darkened quickly with incoming clouds. Most of the children that had been playing with Danny had left to do other activities around the farm. With the clouds covering the sun, a chill settled in and your cute yet slightly-too-thin flannel wasn’t cutting it. You sat up and slid off the hay bale. Danny followed your cue, sliding off behind you and wrapping his arms around you.

“Ready to go home? It’s getting a little chilly,” he asked. While it was getting colder, you still hadn’t gotten any pumpkins - the sole point of a pumpkin patch!

“Let’s pick some pumpkins first, I wanna carve some with you tonight.”

“Of course, sweets. Let me get us a wheelbarrow.”

Danny came back moments later with the wheelbarrow. You turned on your heel towards the U-Pick patch, but Dan had a different plan. All of a sudden your feet left the ground, and you squealed. He picked you up and cradled you briefly before setting you in the empty wheelbarrow. Your legs barely fit, but bringing your knees up to your chest allowed you to sit semi-comfortably inside.

“Ready to go?”

“Daniel, how are we going to fit pumpkins if I’m in here?” you asked as he wheeled you into the patch.

“I’ll just put them on you, pumpkin.” You smiled and rolled your eyes at the silly pet name as he gave you a goofy grin. As he pushed you around, you scanned the remaining gourds on the ground. Some of them had already been ravaged by hungry birds and squirrels, while other were from the early season and already rotting. Row after row, there were mostly duds. You became discouraged that none of them would be the perfect pumpkin.

Danny stopped the wheelbarrow at the end of one of the rows, surveying the remainder of the field that you hadn’t looked at. As Danny walked up and down the path once again, just in case, you looked at the last row not yet explored. In the middle of the patch, a glimpse of orange caught your eye. You leaned up out of the wheelbarrow a bit, flinging your arm out and pointing.

“Danny! Over there!” He jogged back to you, grabbing onto the handles and moving you both towards a tangle of vines. Under the vines and leaves, there were two little pumpkins, almost the size of a basketball but just barely. He snagged them from their prickly stems. They were small enough that he could palm them with each hand, but they were free of any holes or mold or rot. Albeit a bit small, they were your perfect pumpkins.

With the pumpkins in your lap, Danny rolled you back to the barn. You hopped out of the wheelbarrow with his help and took your pumpkins inside. Danny chatted with the cashier as they priced the pumpkins. After briefly sneaking off, you came back with arms full of various flavors of fudge, popcorn balls, and plenty of snacks for the drive home. The cashier and Danny both laughed as you dumped your haul onto the counter proudly. Near the checkout, there were the small decorative pumpkins and gourds for sale, and you made sure to add some of those to the pile as well.

After Danny paid the cashier, he grabbed the sweets-filled paper bags under his arms as you toted the pumpkins out of the barn. Your boyfriend opened the trunk of his car, loading it with the pumpkins and food that you hadn’t designated for the drive home. Before he could close the door, you stopped him.

“Wait! I want to take a picture of our haul. Here, hold these.” At your request, Danny turned around to sit on the edge of the trunk. He proudly held the mini pumpkins and gave a gentle smile at the camera. You snapped a few pictures, grinning at how adorable he looked. Putting your phone back in your pocket, you leaned forward and your lips met Danny’s. He returned the kiss, standing from the trunk and backing you away so he could close it. It had been the perfect pumpkin patch day.

“Let’s get this stuff home and get to carving, hm? I’m thinking we light some candles, put on a movie…”

“That sounds perfect, Danny.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

I awoke the next morning with a ray of sun beaming harshly across my face, seeping past the thin skin of my eyelids, and making me wince. I reached my hand up into the air to block the sun from my face, before stretching it out and contorting my body awkwardly in my bed for a full body stretch.

That's when I heard it; the faint sound of voices coming from downstairs. Mum leaves for work before the sun even gets the chance to rise, so I was sure Dad wasn't talking to her. I reached over to tap the screen of my phone to see that my alarm was ringing on silent, and it was 7:50am.

My eyes widened in shock and I gasped, jumping out of bed and throwing on the first trousers, top and jumper I could find. I threw papers and books into my bag without thought, likely scrunching and creasing them all.

My eyes briefly caught a pile of notebooks on my vanity, but in my hurried haze, I merely shoved them aside to reach a hair tie and throw my hair into a bun on the top of my head, which most likely looked like a heap of mess.

With my bag hanging off my shoulder on only one strap, and my socks on wonky, I stumbled into the bathroom, spurted an unnecessary amount of toothpaste on my toothbrush, before shoving it into my mouth, not sparing myself a glance in the mirror as I rushed out into the hallway again.

"Layla! Are you ready to go honey? Josh is here to pick you up!" I heard my dad bellow from downstairs.

Mouth full of toothbrush and frothy toothpaste, I yelled back an incoherent version of "Yes, just a minute!" 

I spat into the sink and threw my phone and house-keys into my bag before hopping downstairs into the kitchen. I could see Josh's figure standing by the door with my Dad, but chose to ignore it, having only time for essentials. 

Swinging the fridge door open, I grabbed the first drink bottle I could see, which by the weight of it, was luckily already full.

Out of breath and probably looking like a wreck, I rushed to the front door and slid on my sneakers, not bothering with the laces and instead shimmying my feet into them as well as I could.

"Sorry I'm late," I said quickly, giving dad a brief hug goodbye, before stepping out of the house to where Josh was stood.

The curls of his hair framed around his head, rays of sun shining through them, making a makeshift halo around him. He smiled at me, "It's okay, we aren't in a rush."

Then, to my surprise, he whipped his hand out, which I hadn't even realised was behind his back, and held a small flower out to me.

I opened my mouth to tell him something along the lines of 'You didn't need to do that', but when I saw the shy smile on his face and the tint of pink on his cheeks, I refrained.

I grinned at him, and took the small, dainty flower from his fingers. "Thank you, it's beautiful."

He blushed harder, but looked away in what I assumed was an attempt to hide it, before making his way to the car. Following after him, I thread the stem through the stitches in my bag so that the flower sat in view, but didn't get crushed by the numerous items I'd haphazardly placed in there a mere 5 minutes ago.

"Hi guys," I said as I climbed into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat where Sam and Danny said their 'Hello's'. But Jakes seat was empty. "Wheres Jake?" I asked.

"He's already at school," Sam stated plainly, giving me close to no answer to my question.

Josh looked over at me, clearly noticing my furrowed eyebrows, "He's got a before school detention, he's been there since 6:30 I think. "

"But we were only at school for a day, how could he already have a detention?" I said, my confusion growing.

Josh clenched his jaw, but quickly masked it with a smile, while starting the engine and driving off, "He got in a... fight. Last night," he said simply.

"Over what?" I could feel that I was maybe annoying him now, especially when his answer was, "I don't know."

"How did the school find out if it was last night?" I asked. 

"Turns out they did on school grounds, idiots. Broke something, I don't know what."

"Oh." I pursed my lips together, shifting in my seat awkwardly for a moment.

"Did you get my books?" Josh asked, thankfully breaking the weird tension that had been left in the air.

"Oh yes! I didn't get a chance to look at any of them.. I was in a bit of a rush this-morning, but thank you so much." I said, suddenly wondering how the books got into my room in the first place.

"Don't worry about it," he said, smiling towards the road. "Timetable is good today," He said, nudging me lightly.

"Oh really?" I asked. I hadn't had time to check this-morning due to my hectic start.

"Yep. Your first class is with Jake today, but other than that, we have the rest together," he replied. I let out a sigh of relief.

Every moment that I spent yesterday alone was hell, I didn't know where I was, where I was going, or what was going on, so knowing that someone would be by my side all day settled a part of me that I didn't even notice was fizzling with stress.

We pulled into a parking space a bit further from the doors today, as nearly all spaces were full, and I mentally blamed my lateness this-morning to our inconvenience.

I bid my goodbye to Sam and Danny for the day, and Josh walked me to my Health Education classroom where I could see the back of Jakes head already standing, talking to another boy outside.

"I'll meet you right here when class is over," Josh stated, referring to the spot we stood at, right outside the classroom door. He gave me a side hug before turned to walk down the opposite way of the hall towards what I believed was Drama Class.

"Thank you!" I yelled after him.

"Buh-Bye!" He shouted back, waving one hand in the air.

I turned to where the class had conjugated outside the door which I assumed was locked, and spotted Jake in the crowd, who was turning around at the sound of his twins voice.

He smiled when we caught eyes, but I did the opposite. My eyebrows furrowed as I stepped towards him to get a closer look. 

A bruise so purple, it was nearing black was powdered on his right cheekbone. Tinges of yellows and green surrounded it, the swelling only just reaching his eye slightly, causing him to look like he was slightly squinting with one eye.

My hand took his chin and angled his face to the side so that I could see the bruise in more detail. “Oh my God, Jake,” I exclaimed.

He shrugged my hand off him and untucked his hair from behind his ears, letting it fall over majority of the bruise. "It's nothing." He said.

"Nothing? Josh said you got into a fight but.." I trailed off, genuine worry flooding me, "Are you okay?"

He smiled at me kindly, "Yes I'm fine, Layla, don't worry," he placed a heavy hand on my shoulder in what I thought was an attempt to calm me down, but only fuelled it as I spotted the bruising on his knuckles too.

I picked up his hand from my shoulder and held it out in-front of me, "These look bad, you should get them checked out.. they could be broken or something," I said, noting the familiarity of his bruises to those on my own body after the accident.

"Pshh I'll be fine," he said, shooting me his most convincing smile.

"What did you get into a fight over?" I asked, still looking at the bruises on his knuckles as his hand hung limply in my own.

He hesitated for a minute, "Just guy stuff, it isn't that important," he said, brushing off the question like it was dust. 

I furrowed my eyebrows, opening my mouth to ask what on earth that was supposed to even mean, before Jake took my upper arm and dragged me out of the way as the teacher made her way through the crowd to unlock the classroom door and let everyone in.

The desks in this room were different to all the others I'd been in yesterday. They has space for 2 people per table instead of the single seaters I was used to. 

My head rushed. 

Standing awkwardly by the front door, I watched as friends found their seats next to each other, laughing and chatting amongst themselves, while my head hurried in a state of panic. 

Where was I going to sit? I didn't have any friends yet. 

Taking a deep breath, and centring my attention to the room, I scanned my eyes over the tables, looking for a spare desk, someone else who was sitting alone, anything.

Jake sat on one of the tables at the back of the room, talking to his friends on tables around him, yet nobody actually sat next to him. 

I watched as a smaller boy walked up to his desk and placed his bag down on the table, retracting when Jake put his hand out to stop him. Jake said a few words that I couldn't make out from across the room and the boy scoffed, picked up his bag again and walked away and found another seat.

Jake looked up at me and cocked his head towards the chair next to him, before looking back to his friends disinterestedly again. Sighing in relief, I walked down the isle of tables and put my bag down.

"Thank you," I said to him quietly.

As the lesson droned on, I found myself enraptured by the content, scribbling down notes on nutrition and physical activity and the chemistry between the two in aid of keeping the body healthy. 

Jake doodled small shapes on the corner of the table, and occasionally jotted down a sentence or two from the slideshow the teacher was presenting, seemingly bored out of his mind.

The teacher was also wonderful, a woman with thick blond curls in most likely her early thirties, and the kindness of an angel. I noted her attempts to encourage class discussion, never mind the fact that I was far too shy and new to say a word, but I admired her friendliness all the same.

Class ended too soon and I sat for a moment, furiously jotting down the last few sentences on the slides, out of pure interest, but also my need to catch up in all my classes. If I got ahead in some of them then maybe catching up wouldn't be as hard.

Finally, I picked up my books and pens, slotting them into my bags empty spaces and cringing at the worksheets crumpled at the bottom.

Looking up, I noticed the whole classroom was empty, aside from the teacher who sat at her desk, staring at her computer, and Jake who was stood beside me with his bag slung over one shoulder. I cringed again, but this time when I was reminded of the painful bruising on his face.

"Oh hey, you didn't need to wait for me," I said bashfully. He only shrugged while I zipped up my bag and we made our way out of class.

Josh was waiting for me outside the door, his face morphing into unbelievably huge grin at the sight of me and Jake. "I was beginning to think you'd left without me," he said to me, briefly glancing at Jake.

"See you at lunch," Jake said quietly to both of us, before strolling down the hallway.

Josh led me towards our maths class, taking seats across from each other, before we took out our things. Josh handed me a textbook from the back of the room again, and I smiled sheepishly at my own forgetfulness. Though, I knew deep down he enjoyed helping.

The lesson seemed to last a lifetime, and my good mood from health class plummeted at the classes difficulty. Maths was never really my thing. I could always get it to some degree, but I was much better at.. well, any other subject.

Finally, the bell rung and I tried not to seem too eager as I packed up my things. As Josh began to lead me through hallways towards the cafeteria, I noticed our route was not the same as yesterdays.

I still wasn't used to the layout of the school, but the halls we walked down were completely unfamiliar. "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the cafeteria."

Josh grimaced, "Cafeteria is gross. We usually eat on the hockey field."

"But we ate at the cafeteria yesterday," I questioned.

"I thought you needed to see it at least once," he laughed, "Trust me, the field is... much more scenic," he said, splaying his hands out in front of use as if to summon a picture of the field in midair.

"Mmk whatever you say," I said back jokingly. "Oh, but Josh, I didn't have time to pack lunch this morning.. I was planning on buying something," I said, feeling awfully annoyed at myself for ruining his lunchtime plans.

He slowed his pace a for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows in thought, and I couldn't help but notice the similarity in his features to Jakes. Then, like a switch, his eyes lifted and mouth cracked into a smile again, and his unusually fast pace picked up again. "I have a little stash of food in my locker."

My eyebrows rose, "A stash of food? Anyone would think you've been starved at home," I joked, nudging him. That seemed to be our thing now.

"Hey, no judging my food stash when it benefits you," he nudged me back a little harder and I grinned. My gratitude was beyond words for these boys. For Josh. He was so kind to me and so giving. My nerves dropped considerably when they were around, and I knew I was genuinely happy.

After Josh took out a few things of my pick out of his monstrosity of a stash, he grabbed a few towels and walked me to the school field.

"What are the towels for?" I asked as we crossed the grass, headed straight towards a beautiful tree thats branches hung downwards in weight. The sun however, was shining onto one side of the tree where a few boys sat, talking and eating. Nerves swelled in my stomach at meeting new people.

"So that the dew from the grass doesn't get our butts wet," he said, smiling at me childishly.

Only a few steps away from the tree, the boys turned their heads at the sound of our chatter, showing me Jake with three other boys.

Two of them had buzzed hair and one had a mop of wavy brown, all three of them smiling at me kindly. They introduced themselves as Jay, Hamish, and Toby as I seated myself against the trunk of the tree, after Josh had laid down a towel for me to sit on.

I gathered that these boys were casual friends to Jake and Josh, as I’d never heard them mentioned by either of them.

Josh pulled out the food, and conversation was running smoothly between us all, thanks to the boys familiarity with each other, allowing me to eat in silence and only occasionally comment on certain topics.

After Josh had made a particularly funny comment on the shiny nature of one of the teachers bald spots, I reached into my bag for my bottle of water to clear my mouth of the processed sugars that lingered.

Lifting the bottle to my lips, I thought about the irony of learning about nutrition and then stuffing my face with chips.

I gulped down a mouthful of my drink quickly.

What the fuck.

That was not water. My eyes widened in shock and I spit the rest of the drink out of my mouth into the grass beside me.

"Shit, what the hell, Layla," one of the boys said. I was too shocked to recognise who. My face twisted up in discomfort and I coughed a few times. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and looked up at all the boys, who were looking at me in bewilderment.

"Tequila," I chocked out. The three boys I didn't know laughed in surprise , Jake's eyebrows rose, and Josh's furrowed. "Water… please," I croaked out, my face still contorted in disgust.

One of the boys threw a bottle towards me, and I hastily twisted off the cap and chugged its contents down.

"Jesus Christ," I said, looking up at all the boys again, now hugely embarrassed. I glanced down at the now empty water bottle and twisted the cap back on, handing it back to one of the boys with shaved heads and muttered a "Sorry," smiling sheepishly.

"Why the fuck did you bring tequila to school?" Jake asked me, a smile playing on his lips.

"I didn't! Or, I didn't mean to at least... I just grabbed the first bottle in the fridge and it looks a lot like water.." I trailed off, now wondering why said tequila was out of the bottle.

Realisation dawned on me as I thought back to our financial struggle in Australia. After Dad lost his job, and I was still healing from the crash, Mum turned to drinking to keep it all down.

It became a bit of a problem, and I sometimes heard them arguing about it as I fell asleep at night. But she got better as talk of moving to America began, and by now, it had been at least 4 months since I'd even seen her with a beverage... or so I thought.

Mum and I were never really as close as Dad and I, and I found myself feeling guilty about the prospect that I may have been neglecting her. Had I been toofocused on myself and my own selfish needs after moving that I didn't even realise my mum was slipping back into her old alcoholic behaviours?

Coming back to, I slipped the bottle of tequila back into my bag, half listening to the jokes made and half chastising myself internally. I tucked my hair behind my ears uncomfortably, began to bite the corners of my nails, and tried my hardest to focus on the conversation again.

It didn't take too long for the boys to stop talking about the bottle of tequila, thankfully, though I couldn't shake Josh's concerned eyes from the side of my head until the bell for the end of lunch rung.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, our last class of English being my most boring yet, and I was practically skipping to make it to the car by the end of the day. Josh was hot on my heels as I sped down the parking lot, my sight set on the car, coming to an abrupt stop in front of it, stretching my palms out at my sides and taking a deep breath.

"You can get in, the others aren't riding home with us today," Josh said, opening my door before walking to his side and getting in. I followed suit and got seated in the car, my eyebrows furrowed.

"Why not?"

He chuckled, "Jakes got another detention," before he scrunched his face up in disinterest, "And I don't know where Sammy and Danny are, they didn't tell me" He said. I gave him a disapproving look.

"Okayyy maybe I just wasn't paying attention when they told me," he said, grinning at me cheekily, "But it was some nerdy shit I'm sure."

I shoved his shoulder with my palm jokingly, and he looked over at me and laughed.

Josh started the engine, fumbled with a CD for a moment, and finally pulled out of the parking space to head home.

"So, when were you planning on getting drunk?" Josh asked me as John Denvers Greatest Hits played through the speakers.

"I swear it wasn't mine," I groaned, covering my face with my hands and slumping in my seat.

Peeking through my fingers, I saw him looking down at me, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Hmm okay Layla, whatever you say," he joked. I sighed purposefully loud, somewhat accepting my defeat.

He glanced over at me for a moment, before directing his eyes back to the road. "Okay but seriously, who's was it?"

I hesitated, much preferring the jokey nature of our conversation. "I don't know, Mums or Dads obviously."

"Okay, but why would they put it in a drink bottle? Seems like a teenager trying to cover up her tracks," he winked, nudging me from across the console.

I let out a small laugh, "I told you it wasn't mine! I swear, I don't really even drink anymore." I said, immediately regretting the words that came out my mouth as fast as I said them.

"Why not?"

"No reason, just not my thing," I said, sending him a tight lipped smile in hopes that he'd drop the subject. The truth was, the driver that hit us in the accident was drunk, and the mere thought of being that out of control scared me. That, and I'd been drunk enough for one lifetime back home.

I hadn't realised I was smiling at the thought until Josh spoke again, "What're you thinking about?"

I hummed, "My life back in Australia." He smiled too.

"You never told me why you guys moved here?" He asked, and I went a noticeably quiet again. I didn't want to keep things from him, I wanted to tell him everything, but I didn't want to turn him away. 

It was ignorant of me to think that Josh would judge me for quite about anything, yet I still hated myself for it, and I couldn't handle anything close to the same level of hatred from someone else. From Josh. 

Though, I still couldn't lie to him, not after he had been so good to me, and done nothing to make me think of him so poorly, so, I just kept a part of the truth to myself.

"Mums work is stationed here, and its station in Australia was losing funds. It was the best decision for the family... and I had some, uh, issues I guess." I said, cringing at my own words. His eyebrows furrowed tightly.

"What do you mean, issues?" he asked. And as I opened my mouth to respond, he interrupted quickly, "We don't need to talk about it if it upsets you." I could feel my face flush in embarrassment. I must have been making it abundantly clear that I was not up for this conversation.

"Yeah, um, maybe conversation for another time," I smiled at him politely, him barely catching it with his eyes mostly on the road, but he smiled back, letting me know he understood. It was then that I realised I had no idea where we were, and it had certainly been over ten minutes in the car.

I sat up in my seat, looking around the town and recognising nothing.

"Where are we going?" I asked, rather frantically.

He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly acting very shy, "I, uh, wanted to surprise you," he answered. "You know, give you a break from school work."

"Josh you didn't have-"

"Please, don't. Just accept it. I wanted to do this.. for you," he smiled at me sweetly and I felt a flutter course through my belly. As if on cue, Josh pulled onto the side of the road, popped out of gear and switched off the engine, before swiftly jumping out the car. 

As I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached for the door but stopped when I heard the car lock. Josh walked around the front of the car with a smug smile on his face as he made his way to my side.

I sat there like an idiot as he tuck his tongue out at me through the window, and unlocked the car, swinging the door open for me and offering me a hand down.

“M’lady,” he said that trivially, and I giggled at his dramatic antics.

"Thank you kind Sir,” I joked back.

He rushed around to the boot of the car and pulled out a picnic blanket and basket. Then, he shut the boot and rushed back towards me, smiling widely and looping one arm with mine, before taking off down the road.

"Are we having a picnic?" I asked.

He didn't respond until we had turned a sharp corner, revealing a long, beautiful patch of grass, that stretched out towards a pristine lake. 

Flocks of geese floated on the surface with their young, and a few trees scattered the waterline. The sun shone on the water, leaving an orange ember in my sight. I gasped at the scenery.

"Josh.. this is beautiful, you really didn't need to do this."

"Ahh well," He smiled at me sheepishly, leading me down to a sunny spot and laying the blanket down.

"Where are we?" I asked while sitting down on the left side of the mat.

"In Saginaw. This is Haithco Lake, I like to come here sometimes to clear my head," he said, sighing while draping a thick wooly blanket over my legs. I tried to mask my smile at his sweetness.

He then took out a stack of what looked like school papers and I grimaced. What on Earth did he plan to do with those here?

"These.. I wrote them,” he explained, and I noticed that the tip of his nose was red from the cold.

"Oh.. thats nice, um, what are they?" I asked, very confused now.

"Oh! Right, I wrote summaries for all of the syllabus dot points so that you wouldn't have to go through all of the notes," he said, grimacing as if I was going to be upset with him for some reason.

"Oh my god, Josh, what? That must have taken hours!" I said, unable to fathom the work that went into them. “When did you find the time to do all this?” I asked.

He scratched the back of his neck, “Ah just had some spare time last night.”

“You did it all last night?” I asked, my shock not lessening. It was physically impossible to write that much in such a short time, meaning he must have stayed up almost all night doing it.

"It's really not that great, I wasn't able to do any for Health Ed, Art, or Textiles, because I don't take any of them, sorry," He sighed a little.

"Are you serious Josh, you made me summaries for English, History and Math, thats actually crazy I'm so grateful, thank you," I exclaimed, throwing my arms around him and pulling him into a hug. He fell forward in surprise, before wrapping his arms around me too, squeezing tightly. I could feel the heat of his breath hit the crook of my neck and I suddenly felt very flustered.

Pulling away, I cleared my throat and pulled the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands in a kind of embarrassed tick.

Josh however, clocked it within a second, "Are you cold? I have some gloves in the car if you'd like?"

Before I could even refuse, he was up and running to the car, "I'll be two ticks!"

After returning with some slightly oversized green, fingerless gloves, Josh plopped back into his old position, before pulling various foods out of the picnic basket.

Chocolate eclairs, strawberry and cream sandwiches, fairy bread and a huge apple pie.

"I asked your dad what your favourite foods were, I hope you don't mind.." He said sheepishly.

The grin I wore grew painful at this point "Ahhh! Thank you so much! This all looks great," I said excitedly, fiddling with my hands as not to look too eager and dig straight in.

"I'm glad you like it," he muttered, reaching out for a fairy bread. "Now, when your Dad told me you liked bread and butter with sprinkles on top, I thought he might have been going a bit insane, so to be honest, I'm a bit reluctant to try this.." He said, sniffing it suspiciously.

I put a hand on his shoulder, "Trust me, it's delicious," I reached for a chocolate eclair and bit into it, moaning at the flavour, the cream pooling out at the sides slightly.

"So good," I said through a full mouth.

He chuckled, before taking a bit of the fairy bread, his eyebrows raising in surprise, "Holy shit, this is good." I laughed, before taking another bite of my eclair. I never really got the chance to eat these types of treats, so it was extra special when I did. 

I couldn't contain the groan that left my throat as I shut my eyes shut in delight, appreciating the favour of my favourite dessert ever. But, when I opened them again, Josh looked uncomfortable, shifting in his spot slightly.

"You alright?" I asked him.

He smiled at me quickly, "Mhm."

I furrowed my eyebrows but left the subject, focusing on the apple pie in front of us.

"Can I cut it?"

"Yep, the knife is in the basket."

I leaned forward onto my hands and knees to retrieve the knife from the basket, fiddling for a few moments before getting a good hand on it and planting myself back onto my butt. 

Josh, again, looked mildly uncomfortable, his jaw tight and eyes focused on the food in front of us, and I felt insecurity creep through me. What was I doing wrong?

Josh brushed off his strange demeanour and cut the pie for us, muttering something about how the amount he got could feed us for days, before handing me a slice on a plate.

I took a bite and the flavours exploded in my mouth. So sweet, yet the base was the perfect contrast to give it its pastry flavour.

"Mmmm this is really good too," I said with my hand covering my very full mouth.

"Fuck" Josh strangled out in a whisper, amongst other words that I couldn’t hear. He looked strained, uncomfortable.

"What is it? Please tell me Josh, what's wrong?" I asked, concern now rising in my throat like bile.

"Nothing, nothing it's just.." he trailed off, shuffling again. Subtly, he tried to readjust his jeans, and I became very aware of the large bulge that strained against the denim.

My face flushed as the realisation came to me, "Oh."

His head snapped up to me, which quickly reddened darker than I'd ever seen it. I had been moaning and groaning with every bite shamelessly, and to make matters worse, my behind was being waved in his face as I reached for the knife. "Sorry.." I said awkwardly, fighting back laughter.

His head was down in shame as the first snort left me. The next came much easier and louder, before I burst out into a fit of giggles at the absurdity of the situation. He cracked a small smile beside me, before falling onto his back, throwing his arms over his face as he groaned loudly, "This is so embarrassing."

I tried my best to speak between laughs, "No! It’s- it’s not- I promise, I- Im just-" A heave of laughter left me again, and my mind flashed the image of us laughing after he opened my box of underwear. I watched as his body started to shake in laughs too, until we were both a heaving mess.

I sighed loudly after a while, "Man that was funny, I am sorry though, I'll try to be more... mindful in the future," I joked. He nudged me, but I was trying to sit up, so I lost my balance and my elbow dove into a cream and strawberry sandwich.

I gasped, quickly retracting my elbow and bending it to check the damage. My green sweater was coated in cream.

"Noo this is one of my favourites," I complained, looking back at Josh who was laughing so hard, it was completely silent.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, scooping up a bit of cream with my finger and wiping it on his face. His eyes shot open, his mouth agape.

"What was that?" He asked, his tone very serious all of a sudden.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Cream?… From the sandw-"

His eyes widened frantically, "I'm allergic to cream!"

"What? Oh my god!" I shouted. He sprung into action, rummaging around in his bag for something, fear painted on his features. "What- what are you doing?" I asked, my heart beating a million times a minute.

"Looking for my Epi-Pen!" he exclaimed back, noticeably as scared as I was.

"Holy shit Josh, do you need me to call an ambulance? I'm so sorry, I didn't know!" I rambled, but he was still looking. My heart was thrumming in my chest. Of course Josh would try and do something for me and I would fuck it up like always. "Christ, how long until you need to take it? Are you sure its in there?"

"Found it!" He exclaimed, with half of his arm in his bag, and I felt a little bit of the weight leave my shoulders, but I was till shaking in panic.

But he paused, turning to me slowly with a sly smile on his face, before he took his empty hand out of his bag, his middle finger pointed out, and the rest of them tightened into a fist.

"What are you- what.. Oh my God." Dickhead. "You have issues," I said angrily, pointing a finger at his face.

He burst out into a laugh, clutching his stomach, "You should have seen your face," he wheezed out.

"I was worried about you! I thought you were gonna die or something!" I shoved his shoulder, but his laughter didn't falter, and without thinking, I ripped the glove from my hand, took the rest of the creamy dessert and smashed it onto his face, coating his skin in cream and strawberries, as the top pieces of bread fell off limply. His mouth opened in shock, as I wiped my now creamy hand on his neck.

"You did not.." he said cautiously. I only raised my eyebrows at him, trying to contain my laugh, while discreetly taking my phone out of my pocket.

In the blink of an eye, I managed to snap a quick photo of Josh in all his glory, while a slice of pie was mashed onto my face.

I let out a few breathy laughs in shock, before reaching for my half eaten eclair and aiming for his head.

"Not the hair!" He yelled, one hand covering his head, and the other stopping me at the wrist.

I struggled in his grip, moving myself closer to let gravity help me push, and he twisted his body to escape. Climbing closer, my hand grew nearer. Laughs were escaping us both, in quick, panty breaths.

"No!" He wailed, pushing my hand so far that the eclair nearly got me in my own apple pie covered face. This only fuelled me more, as I used all my might to shove the now crushed eclair onto his curly head. I flattened my palm out onto of his head and twisted it to smoosh the food in deep.

He released his grip on me, making me fall forward at the sudden gravity, and he took the weight of us both as his back flattened on the floor with a small thud.

I could feel his stomach convulsing beneath me with each laugh, as I lay atop him with my cheek pressed adjacent his chest and laughing heartily. The sound of his laughter was contagious, and warmed something very deep inside me.

Once our breathing had finally calmed, I lay for only another moment, before I lifted my head from his chest, to see him already staring down at me, a small smile playing at his lips.

I shied away quickly, pushing myself off the grass beside him, wiping my hands clean in the process and blew out a deep breath.

"What a mess."

Looking around, there were squashed desserts smeared over the picnic rug, out clothes and the grass beside us. How we even managed to do that was beside me.

We cleaned all the food up, tucking away the few salvageable treats back into the basket and throwing away any that had been left in the grass, or on each others bodies.

As the sun sank below the trees in the distance, Josh drove me home, walking me to my front door as always, and only driving off after I had closed the door behind me.

I tried to contain my smile all throughout dinner, and excused myself as soon as I was finished, hurrying upstairs and into my room.

I couldn't keep back the smile that played on my lips as I was reminded of the evening while I cleaned the remnants of cream and apple pie from my body.

Heading to my room, with my towel wrapped tightly around my body, I peeked out the window to see Josh in his own room in nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist and a mop of wet curls atop his head. He winked at me and I smiled as I pulled my blinds closed.

That night, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

“Yeah,” you said. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” His morning voice was deep and raspy. “What the hell did we drink last night?”

“The whole liquor cabinet.”

He gave a soft laugh that trailed off into a groan. “Yeah, I guess so. You feel okay?”

“Oh, I feel super,” you said. “How do you feel?”

“Like roadkill.”

You snorted. “Sexy.”

He propped himself up a little, looking down at you with a scrunchy, dazed kind of smile. 

“If you say so,” he said. “That reminds me. We were gonna do some swashbuckling last night, weren't we?”

“We sure were,” you said, “before you passed out.”

“Right.” He gave you a quick smooch good morning, as he always did. “Sorry about that. I can make it up to you right now if you want.”

You gave a doubtful hum. “We need to shower. And brush our teeth.”

“Oh, come on,” he coaxed. He kissed your neck. “Napoleon told his wife not to bathe for three days before he came home and ravished her.”

Though you usually wouldn't have minded some sweaty, tangled-up morning sex, there was no way you were doing that in this bed. 

“Too bad you're not Napoleon,” you said sweetly.

He didn't get the hint, perhaps too absorbed with kissing your collarbone. He was still dressed in his clothes from the day before, but you were in nothing but your underwear; you couldn't exactly blame him for exploring what was usually available for his enjoyment, but no part of you wanted him to touch you like that in this bed.

“Jake,” you said, gently pushing him off you. “Let me up, babe.”

He did, respecting your less subtle cue but giving you a wry smile. “You must really not feel good,” he teased.

It wasn't your hangover that was killing your libido, and you were a little annoyed that he didn’t know that. You sat on the edge of the bed, touching a hand to your pounding head.

He ran a soothing hand over your back. “You feel sick, honey?”

You didn't answer that. You did, but you didn't want to tell him why. You wanted him to use his brain and figure it out himself.

“I’m gonna go shower,” you said. You blindly grabbed a shirt from the drawer, and it happened to be Jake's “I'm the reason all the rum is gone” tee.

“Oh, now you’re just teasing me,” he said with a smile.

“I'm not teasing anybody,” you said, and you surprised yourself with how harsh it was.

He raised a brow. “Okay, sparrow. I’m just messing with you, baby. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You wanted to say that not meaning to didn't make it any better; in a way, it made it worse. Where did he keep his brain sometimes? You felt it was stupid for him to be so oblivious, or maybe you should be thankful that he was. If he wasn't thinking about Izzy, why should you be?

You gave him a half-hearted nod, raw with guilt and discomfort. “Okay. I’m just... not in a great mood. Sorry.”

“You’re allowed to not be in a great mood,” he said kindly. “Go get a shower, honey. You want coffee?”

His gentle care for you wore down your frustration. “Yes, please.”

“Okay. It'll be ready for you when you get out.”

You gathered up some clothes and headed for the upstairs bathroom, but you heard the shower running in there already, so you made your way to the downstairs bathroom. Sam was in the basement fooling around on the mellotron, and you were mildly embarrassed to be seen in your current state of undress.

“Sorry,” you said bashfully. “Just going to shower.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “All good.”

You laughed. “Thanks. You're a gentleman and a scholar, Sam.”

“Oh, I try.”

You took a long time in the shower, letting the hot water ease your many aches. Even from the basement, you could smell the promised coffee brewing, and you came into the kitchen to see Jake and Danny working on breakfast.

“For you, my dearest,” Jake said, handing you a cup of coffee made just the way you liked it. “Danny reminded me that we're switching rooms, so I went ahead and moved our stuff.”

“Oh,” you said, pleasantly surprised and relieved. “Thanks, honey.”

“Sure.” He kissed your cheek. “I’m gonna go shower. You look like you're feeling a little better.”

“I am,” you said truthfully. All of your worries had been very quickly assuaged with a simple room reassignment, and you felt a huge weight come off of you.

He smiled. “I'm glad, honey.” He slapped a bottle of ibuprofen into your hand. “Eat up.”

You huffed a laugh and boosted yourself up onto the counter. Danny was working on pancakes, his hair up in a claw clip and a dishrag over his shoulder.

“Thanks for mentioning the room thing,” you said.

He smiled. “No problem, sparrow. I didn't say why, just asked him if we were still switching. I'm sorry you had to stay in there last night. You could have moved our stuff.”

“He forgot, and he was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow,” you said. “I figured it was easier to stay put.”

“You're a good man, Charlie Brown,” he said. “I’d be climbing the walls in a room Sam had been in with his ex.”

You gave a rueful hum around a sip of coffee. “I almost was. He wanted to get into some... extracurriculars, shall we say, just now, but you can probably figure out how that went.”

“Not the way he pictured it, I imagine.” He added to the growing stack of pancakes. “He still doesn't know why you don't want to be in there?”

You sighed. “I guess not. Maybe I should be glad he’s not thinking of her, but I can't get her out of my head.”

“Who, me?” Baby came into the kitchen wearing one of Josh’s shirts and sleep shorts. “Sparrow, tell me it's me. I need an ego boost.”

“Girl, I'd rather it was you. But no, it’s Izzy.”

She looked over at you as she made herself a cup of coffee. “You didn't tell me you were into masochism.”

You and Danny laughed.

“They stayed in Jake’s old room last night,” Danny explained. 

Baby's expression scrunched. “Oh, ew. Why?”

“Ask the genius,” you said wryly. “I guess it just didn't occur to him.”

She sighed and leaned against the counter. “Well, the Kiszka boys aren't famous for being the world's most observant on some things. Are you switching rooms?”

“Yeah, we kicked Sam and Danny out,” you said. Danny walked past you to take the plate of bacon to the table, and when both you and Baby reached out, he stopped and let you take some.

“Go round ‘em up,” Danny said. “Everything’s ready.”

You did as he said, and when you were all gathered at the table, the six of you enjoyed a leisurely breakfast peppered with mentions of how bright the sunlight was and requests to pass the ibuprofen. Jake sat next to you, one hand on the back of your chair, his thumb occasionally skating across your back in a soothing motion. That was one of your favorite things about him: those little, unobtrusive touches that told you he was there, that he was tuned into you even if he wasn’t talking to you directly.

“I heard you working on something earlier, Sammy,” he said. “Sounded very orchestral.”

Sam gave him a lopsided smile. “Yeah, it's just something I’m messing around with. Maybe a cool opening for Josh's ‘Heat Above’ song.”

“You want to put the mellotron on that?” Josh asked, animated.

“I was thinking kind of like Age of Man,” he said. “I can show it to you if you want.”

Josh was up out of his chair and down to the basement before anyone could stop him, if they'd been trying to, and Sam followed with a proud smirk on his face. All four brothers tried to impress each other with their new ideas, and you knew that Sam was pleased with Josh’s eager anticipation to hear what he’d been working on. 

At the other end of the table, Danny and Baby were talking about their plans for a Chopped-style cooking competition. You and Jake sat in companionable silence, nursing your coffee and enjoying each other’s closeness.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said after a moment. The sun caught in his hair, bringing out the hint of red in it. “I really was just teasing. You know I don't want anything from you that you don't want to give.”

You touched his cheek. “I know, honey. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I’m sorry too.”

He gave you a gentle kiss. “Love you, sparrow.”

You smiled. “Love you too, Jakey. I think I’m gonna read out on the porch for a little bit. You wanna come and be bored to death?”

He breathed a laugh. “If you want me to, sure.”

“Or you can go jam,” you offered. You patted his chest. “Actually, go do that. I know you'd rather be playing music than watching me read.”

He considered that. “Okay, what if — and here's another one of my theories — I bring my guitar out and play while you read?”

“Again, not a theory,” you teased. “But sure. If you want to, I’d like that.”

He left to get his guitar and you grabbed your book and refilled both of your coffees, heading out to the porch swing. He came out with a throw blanket and his acoustic guitar, and he tossed the blanket at you and managed to cover your head with it.

“Ah, I get it,” you said, your voice muffled. “You don't want to see me while you hang out with me.”

He chuckled and rearranged the blanket so it lay over your lap. “Sorry. My toss was a little over-zealous.”

He sat next to you on the swing, playing an aimless tune that eventually made its way into Jackson Browne's “These Days”. You tried to focus on your book, but his voice was so warm and soft as he sang that you couldn't help but watch him play.

He noticed and looked over at you, giving you a bashful smile. “What?”

“Nothing,” you said. “I just like watching you play.”

His cheeks pinked. “Lucky you got a guy who does nothing but play guitar.”

You smiled. “Yeah, it is lucky.” You watched as he effortlessly picked out the solo in skillful, intentional movements of his fingers across the strings.

“You know this is kind of our song,” you said.

He nodded in that distracted way you liked, when he was focused on playing but still listening to you. “Yes ma'am. I remember.” You'd danced to this song at the wedding where you’d been reunited last winter, the same wedding where you’d finally done something about the feelings both of you had had for each other even after years of being apart. 

“You know the words,” he said. “Sing with me.”

You blushed. “Oh, I dunno. I'd rather hear you without me screwing it up.”

He shook his head. “Your voice could never screw anything up, sparrow. Sing with me.”

You couldn't say no to him, not when he was so sweet to you. He started the next verse, and you offered a quiet, tentative harmony.

“Well I’ll keep on moving, things are bound to be improving these days.”

His smile was impossibly tender. “See? I told you. Beautiful.”

You leaned close and kissed him, slow and gentle and so in love with him.

“Say you love me,” you said softly.

He touched his nose to yours. “I love you, sparrow. More than you could ever imagine, and more than I could ever tell you.”

—

He went to join the guys downstairs after a while, and you felt a warm glow in your chest long after he’d left. You didn't know why you’d been so upset about the whole Izzy business — of course Jake was just being oblivious, and there was no malicious intent in his absent-mindedness. You decided to put the whole thing out of your mind and not let the idea of her intrude on your picture-perfect vacation to a beautiful mountain cabin with the ones you loved so dearly.

Putting a bookmark between the pages of your novel, you ventured inside after a bit to find everyone downstairs. Baby made room for you on the couch and shared her gummy worms, and you snacked contentedly while the boys worked on a song that wasn't entirely coming together.

“I don’t know, it feels a little boring,” Danny said. “It need something like — ” He played a driving beat on the drums, making ample use of the cymbals. “Something brighter.”

“It’s a ballad,” Jake said, shaking his head. “A love song. It just needs the bass drum and the toms, maybe.” He strummed a few chords, and Sam scrambled to join him on the bass. You watched, amused, as Jake was wholly absorbed in playing the tune at a blinding volume while Danny didn't play a single thing. 

Jake looked up. “Yeah, like that,” he said.

Danny lazily twirled a drumstick. “Well, I wasn't playing anything, so...”

Jake gave him an abashed smile. “Oh. Well, maybe it doesn't need any drums. It's just an acoustic thing.”

“You’re cranked up to the loudest, crunchiest tone possible,” Danny pointed out. “Play it on acoustic and I’ll see what I can do with that.”

Jake sigh was half irritated groan. “Maybe we should just scrap it.” He tied his hair up in a bun, and you knew he must be getting frustrated — Jake never put his hair up when he was playing unless he was fed up with it and needed a little less sensory input.

“I don't know, man,” Josh said. “It’s not terrible. I like the chord progression.”

“Okay,” Danny offered, “what if i build up with the drums, like start off with just the bass and come in later on the snare, but keep it soft, and give it a few splashes? Or — ” He extended his hand to Sam, and somehow Sam knew to toss him the egg shakers. “I’ll do some kind of maraca thing, and you can do a beat on the body of the guitar like that Iron and Wine thing.”

“So many things,” Sam teased. “Is that the technical term, Daniel?”

Danny shook a maraca at him. “Yes. Don't question the master.”

Sam put up a hand in surrender. “I wouldn't dare.”

Jake unplugged his guitar and slung the strap over his head. “Let me think about it for a minute. I might decide I hate it.”

His brothers were content to let him take a break, changing tacks to work on the song Sam and Josh had played around with earlier. It was obviously missing a guitar, but it didn't sound half bad with the mellotron and a bright, splashy drum beat to accompany Josh’s voice. 

Jake all but collapsed on the couch next to you. “Hi.”

You smiled. “Hi, honey. Rough day at work?”

He ran a hand over his face. “I guess. That song’s not my best work, but I thought we could try it.”

“Don’t give up on it,” you said. You handed him a gummy worm. “Here. A little something to take the edge off.”

He snorted. “Thanks.”

You brushed back a few wayward strands of hair that had missed the bun. “When did you write that song, anyway? I don't think I've ever heard it.”

“Sometime last year,” he said. “Summer before last, I think. I don't know.”

You tried to ignore the creeping doubt that you'd promised yourself you were done with. “Before you met me?”

“Well, not technically,” he reminded you. You’d been friends in high school before you’d lost touch for a few years. “But yeah, before we got together.”

“Right.” You hated the uncertainty in your tone. “And it's a love song?”

He sighed. “Trying to be, anyway.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. A love song that he'd written before you were together, presumably with someone else in mind. Izzy, namely. You felt a nudge from Baby, and you interpreted her sympathetic look to mean something like I’m sorry he keeps being stupid and you can't really blame him for it at the same time.

You let out a long breath. You knew you couldn't hold his past relationships against him, but it didn't exactly feel great to know he was working on an old love song he’d written for her. You wondered how terrible a girlfriend you would be if you told him to scrap it like he wanted to.

You steeled yourself. No, you remembered, you weren’t going down that road. The past was in the past, and you’d let it stay there, where it belonged, buried six feet underground.

That was a little morbid, granted. You didn't want Izzy six feet under, though you did wish for some karmic payback for the pain she’d caused Jake. But it wasn't yours to deliver, so you'd support this song if he really wanted to make a go of it.

You patted his thigh. “Come play some Pac-Man with me.”

“Ooh, me too,” Baby said, getting up to go with you to the game on the far side of the basement crowded with a pool table, a pinball machine, and a foosball table. Jake followed somewhat reluctantly, but you knew him; he couldn't pass up an opportunity to beat the pants off of you in any game. He was usually successful, except in spades, which he was terrible at for some reason; then, he always insisted on being on your team and letting you carry the two of you to victory. 

As you played, he tried to give you pointers, but you were resigned to being awful at it. 

“Come on, honey,” he laughed. “It’s kinda like skipping stones, remember? All in the — ” Your Pac-Man dissolved and died. “All in the wrist.”

You let him have a go, and he was much better at it; you and Baby watched intently as he moved up a couple levels before he lost. 

“Damn,” he said, looking at the high scores. “Who's that at the top? That was one of us, right?”

He looked to Baby, and she fidgeted a little beside you.

“I think... I think it was Izzy,” she said cautiously.

He didn't say anything for a moment, and you listened with baited breath for how he would react.

“Huh,” he said finally, his tone as even as could be, as if revisiting a pleasant memory. “Yeah, I think you're right.”

As stupid as it was, you couldn’t stop the hot spark of frustration that flared to life in your chest. 

“Guess she knew all about the wrist technique, or whatever,” you said flatly.

He shrugged. “I guess. She was good at that sort of thing.” He stepped aside to let Baby play, and she glanced over at you with an uncertain expression.

“You want to get beaten in foosball too?” Jake asked you, a playful smile on his face.

“No, thanks.” You turned to Baby. “Does Josh have any cigarettes hidden away somewhere?”

“Yes, and I’ll show you where,” she said, “because it’s a dumb hiding place where he thinks I won't get at them.”

She gave you a conspiratorial smile and looped her arm around yours, abandoning her game. 

“You’re gonna die!” Jake protested.

“Sparrow needs me,” she said tartly. “Besides, who cares about a score on Pac-Man?”

You were glad she could sass him when you couldn't quite get up the nerve to, and you let her lead you upstairs to the room she and Josh were sharing.

“Holy shit, is he dumb or what?” she asked, rooting through Josh's backpack. She put on an affected voice. “Oh, she’s so talented and good at that sort of thing that you're bad at. What a moron.”

You couldn't help but laugh, thankful for her lighthearted tone and collusion with you in your frustration. She reached elbow-deep into the backpack and finally found the pack of cigarettes, holding them up triumphantly. 

“Ha! Take that, Joshua.”

The two of you went out to the porch, leaning against the railing as you smoked. The air was chilly and fragrant with pine, and you closed your eyes and let the breeze soothe your riled emotions.

“Am I overreacting?” you asked. “Maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing.”

She shrugged. “I don't know, sparrow. I was lucky Josh never brought anyone else here.”

You blew out a thin stream of smoke. “And Josh never had any serious relationships before yours, did he?”

“Not really, which is also lucky.” She looked a little wistful then. “We were too busy pining over each other to worry about anybody else, I think.”

Though you’d all been friends your last year of high school and the summer after graduation, you knew Baby had practically grown up with them. You hadn't been surprised to find out that she and Josh were together when you met up again last winter, and it also didn't surprise you that they'd spent a long time secretly in love with each other without saying it.

“Did you ever have a crush on the other guys?” you asked. “Even just a little thing?”

Her smile was telling. “Not really. I guess I thought Danny was a looker when he grew out of his awkward middle-school phase, but I like my guys a little shorter and weirder.”

You laughed. “I guess we have similar tastes.”

She flicked her cigarette. “In that way, yeah. But Jake and Josh are as different as night and day, you know that.”

“Sun and moon,” you said, remembering with fondness the comments you'd seen on social media posts featuring the twins.

She smiled. “Yeah, sun and moon. Sometimes a dumbass sun and moon, but hey.”

You sighed and put your cigarette out. “I don’t know what to do. Sam said I should tell him.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that advice from him before,” she said wryly. “Tends to be solid, but it’s easier said than done.”

“No kidding.” You heard the sound of Jake’s guitar join the song drifting from inside. “Would you tell Josh? If he was doing something like this?”

“Well, I'd like to think I wouldn't have to,” she said. “But... yeah, I would. I trust Josh. And I trust Jake, and I know you do too, even if he’s being an idiot.”

You scuffed your shoe against the railing. “Yeah.” You did trust Jake; you trusted him with every part of you, even the most vulnerable ones, and he’d cherished and honored that trust every time it had been put to the test. Why was this time so hard for you?

Baby gently bumped her shoulder against yours. “Why are you scared to tell him? You know he’d understand how you feel.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I don't know.” You hadn't talked to anyone about this before, not even your best friends who would surely have listened and given you advice, but you wanted to try and talk to Baby about it now.

“We’re out of the honeymoon phase, I guess,” you said. “Not that that’s a bad thing, and not that I expect us to break up or anything, but...”

“It's hard,” she said kindly. “I get it. The first time Josh and I had a big fight, a few months after we got together, I cried the rest of the night. I went super crazy and catastrophized the whole thing.”

That was a familiar feeling. You'd bickered more with Jake these past few months than you ever had when you first got together, and sometimes it had devolved into an actual argument. You hated it, but it was a natural part of relationships.

“I’m not used to that sort of thing,” you confessed. “Me and Jake... this is my first serious relationship, and I don't know what the hell I’m doing. I want to marry him, and I think he’s that serious about me, but... he was probably that serious about Izzy too.”

She didn't say anything for a moment, and you felt your heart sink. “He was, wasn’t he?”

She sighed. “I don't know. I won't lie and say he didn't love her. And I guess she loved him too, as much as you could love a person while still being able to cheat on them, which maybe isn't much.”

She put her cigarette out. “Jake’s like a totally different person with you, sparrow. He lights up like a firefly whenever you're around. I didn't know if he’d ever recover from Izzy, but he has with you, and he loves you like you're his heart.”

You swallowed around the tightness in your throat. “Really? You're not just saying that?”

She took your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “No way, sparrow. You know me — I’m a straight shooter. And you fit with us like you were made for us, just like you do with Jake.”

You squeezed her hand back. “I love you.”

Her smile was a little wobbly. “Aw, sparrow, I love you too. I'm so glad you're in our family.”

“Me too,” you said softly.

She kissed your cheek. “I think Sam’s right. Go talk to Jake. You’ll feel better, and Jake will stop being so dumb, and then you can have super great celebration sex.”

You laughed, really laughed, and she laughed with you.

“You know I’m right!” she said. She gave you a gentle push towards the door. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

You stopped at the door and looked back at her.

“I’m really glad you're my friend,” you said.

Her smile was warm and very kind. “Me too, sparrow.”

taglist: @viagvf @allieisacrybaby @itsafullmoon @spark-my-nature @anthemheatwave @xserenax-13 @musicspeaks @mountain-in-springtime @stardustsecret @alwaysonthemend @madneedshelp @josh-iamyour-mama @dannythedog

and some cabin fever besties who were excited for this one :)  @shutupdevvie @gold-mines-melting @earthlysorrows @brooke-gvf

The sun had just started to break, sending pink rays through the gauzy sheers in your bedroom. Your eyes fluttered open, a rosy hue filled the room, and you were aware of your partner, Y/N, sleeping on your chest. Nuzzling your face in her hair you inhaled the scent of your lover, feeling a soft warmth spread in your chest, the feeling of love and contentment. You pressed soft kisses on her head and you felt her stir, lazily she pressed a kiss to your skin before falling asleep yet again. You didn't mind, it was too early for her to be awake yet anyway. Her body still sore and slightly swollen from birthing your daughter, she deserves her rest. Your gaze moves from your love to your Sunshine. 

It took you one night from her arrival to move her crib from her nursery to your bedroom, you were going to be up with her anyway, and it made you feel better that you could keep an eye on her.

For the time being your daughter was still sleeping, if you looked hard enough you could see the rise and fall of her tiny chest. You thought about how perfect she was, how the two of you created something so beautiful and magical. You were so hopelessly in love, she was your everything. Before now you had never experienced a love so deep, it hurt if you thought about it too hard.

Y/N stirred in your arms again, placing another soft kiss to your chest, and you ran your fingers over the soft skin of her back. She shivered and pressed herself closer to your body. She mumbled a soft,” I love you,Josh.” 

“I love you baby. You can sleep some more, I'm going to get up and get her bottle ready. She'll be awake any moment now.”

She slid off of your body and you pulled the comforter further up and over her body.

Muffled into her pillow you heard her say,” Your such a good daddy Josh.”

Your heart swelled in your chest and a soft smile appears as you quietly slip out of bed, heading to your closet to put on sweats.

Looking for a clean zip up hoodie you made a mental note to order more, they were perfect for your early morning routine with Halina. You fed her, burped her,changed her, and then snuggled her against the skin of your chest. Pulling the zipper up, so most of her body was covered in the fabric as she dozed off with a full belly. 

As you padded your way to the kitchen a smile graced your lips, out of all of your various morning rituals you've had over the years, this was your favorite. You had gone through numerous waves of life, hurrying out the door to grab a coffee on the way to classes, waking up in the afternoon with hangovers, rising early to smoke and meditate, to now enjoying the sunrise with your daughter.

You grabbed a fresh bottle and a container of breast milk out of the fridge and began preparing it. Once warmed to perfection you made your way back to your bedroom, bottle in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. Setting the drinks down on your nightstand you peered into the crib to find your Sunshine awake and wiggling.

“Hi my Sunshine. Good morning. Daddy got you breakfast, are you hungry?”

You whispered as you picked her up and cradled her. You sat back down on your side of the bed, scooting yourself backwards until your back rest against the mountain of pillows.

Getting her situated in your arms you whispered,” See your Mama knew that they would come in handy for something. She's so smart.”

Bringing the bottle to your newborn's face, you smiled when she easily latched onto the nipple. A sense of pride filled you when you helped your daughter feed, it had only been a week since she was born and you thought she was doing amazing already. 

Soon enough she was slowing down, quickly getting full.

After burping her you said,“Alright love, let's get you changed and into a new outfit. I'm thinking of your yellow onesie with the smiley suns.”

You changed your daughter with care, making sure she was clean and dry before wrapping her up in her onesie.

You grabbed your now lukewarm coffee and took a large gulp before getting back into bed.

You reclined back into the pillows and unzipped your sweatshirt, tucking Halina's little legs in and holding her close to your body. Closing your eyes you took a few deep breaths, commiting the feeling of her tiny warm body against your chest to your memory. You knew that all too fast she would be growing up, getting bigger and bigger until one day she won't fit into your sweatshirt anymore.

Your fingers found purchase in the soft downy baby hair on her head. Just a few strands, you could barely call it hair. Speaking softly you asked as you rubbed her head,” What does my baby want to do today huh? Maybe take some naps, snuggle with mommy? What if we ask Uncle Sam if he wants to meet you today? We'll have to ask Mama when she wakes up. She needs her rest so she can take the best care of you.”

“I do,” he said. “I was only teasing.” He jotted it down along with your other details, taking care of the task for you as you sat in the waiting room together. It was sweet of him to do it and try to take your mind off things while he did, and it made the appointment seem a little less daunting.

“What are your symptoms?” he asked, writing down the ones he already knew. “Earache, sore throat, congestion?”

You nodded, covering your ear with your hand, careful of pressing too hard. “Dizziness, too. And a headache.”

“My poor baby,” he said sympathetically. He finished up the intake form. “Okay, honey. You’re all set.” He returned the clipboard to the front desk, taking your hand when he came back to sit next to you.

“What do you think?” he asked. His hair was a golden halo of soft curls, and it didn’t surprise you that even the awful atmosphere of the doctor’s office didn’t dim his warmth and cheerfulness. “Do you wanna read one of these magazines that have been here since the eighties? There’s probably some older ones if that sounds too modern.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “I think I’m okay, thanks.”

He smiled. “Well, let me know if you change your mind.”

He pulled out his phone to answer a text from Danny; you rested your head on his shoulder, trying to ignore the persistent ache and the vaguely panicky feeling you always got at the doctor. 

Josh gave you a quick smooch on your forehead. You smiled.

“What was that for?” you asked.

“Danny said to give you a get-well kiss,” he said. “So there you go.”

You cuddled closer to him. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course, baby.” He pocketed his phone. “Thanks for asking me. I would have been sad to find out you went without me.”

You raised your head to look at him, a bemused smile crossing your face. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I know you don’t like the doctor, and I like to be with you for things that make you nervous, if I can. I’m glad you know you can ask me for help.”

Your smile was wobbly, then. “Aw, Joshy. I love you, you know.”

He gave you a sweet smile. “I love you too, baby. Hopefully we’ll be in and out, and then we can spend the rest of the day cuddled up on the couch. Sound good?”

“Sounds wonderful,” you said with a sigh. 

You lost track of time in the waiting room, sucked into the weird vortex of discomfort and the smell of antiseptic, but eventually your name was called. Josh went with you, and though you might have felt a little embarrassed to be a grown woman with a personal escort to the doctor, you just didn’t have the energy to care. Besides, there was nothing wrong with having Josh with you, and you were glad you didn’t have to do it alone.

He waited patiently while you got your vitals checked, making jokes about your pulse being a little high with white coat syndrome. When the nurse left you alone in the room again, he gave you a thumbs up.

“You’re doing great, baby,” he said with a sweet smile. “I bet you’re the best patient they’ve had all day.”

“I do my best,” you said. You fidgeted on the table, the paper crinkling under you. “Can we get coffee after this?”

“Sure, honey. Whatever you want.”

You gave him a teasing smile. “Whatever I want, huh? Could you strip naked right now and do the hula for me?”

He laughed, and the warm sound of it took the edge off the chill of the sterile room.

“Maybe not whatever you want,” he corrected. He stood and came over to the exam table, giving your thigh a comforting pat. “But I think I can handle coffee.”

You winced and tilted your head as you felt a sharp pain go from your ear all the way down your neck. Josh gently covered the spot with his warm hand, and you leaned into his touch.

“There’s this new documentary on Netflix,” you said, trying to distract yourself from the ache. “About the night they got the supergroup together for ‘We Are The World’.”

“I saw the trailer,” he agreed. He slowly ran his fingers over your fevered skin. “You want to watch that when we get home?”

“Sure. We can make a roster of who should be in the next version with you guys.”

He smiled. “Okay, baby. I’d like that.” A sympathetic frown tugged at his features when you grimaced again.

“I'm sorry you don't feel good, honey,” he said. “I know a jacked up ear isn't very fun.”

You breathed a laugh. “I shouldn't complain. Your whole eardrum exploded, so mine’s easy in comparison.”

He chuckled. “Are we in a competition for worst ear injury? That's kinda weird, even for us.”

You leaned your head against his, thankful for the way he comforted you and made you smile without even trying. 

He pulled back when the door handle turned, and gave your hand a squeeze before he took his seat again. The doctor gave you a quick exam, confirming an ear infection secondary to a sinus infection, and prescribed you a round of antibiotics. 

Josh got you squared away at the desk before you left, and you were content to let him do the talking as the pain started to catch up with you. He led you out to the car, getting you settled in the passenger seat before he got in himself.

“Still feel up for coffee?” he asked.

You curled up in a pitiful little ball. “Yes, please. But maybe I’ll get the Medicine Ball instead.”

He kept one hand on your thigh as he drove, and you half dozed with your hands wrapped around the wonderfully warm Starbucks cup. He ran into the store to pick up your prescription and a few other things, and though he’d promised to be quick, he was gone longer than you’d expected.

“Where did you go?” you said, an irritated, petulant tone creeping into your voice. “The Bermuda Triangle?”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said sincerely, putting the bags in the back of the Jeep. “The pharmacy line was super long. I guess I should have taken you home and come back out for your medicine.”

You softened, feeling a little guilty. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be grumpy with you when you're running around doing everything for me.”

He touched a hand to your cheek. “You don’t have to apologize, baby. I know you don't feel good. I understand if you’re grumpy.”

You held his hand and kept it pressed to your cheek for a moment. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, baby. Let’s get you home, okay?”

At home, he got your medicine and some painkillers into you before he ran you a bath. He sat on the edge of the tub, brushing your hair back from your face.

“I think you’ll feel better if you have a nap, baby,” he said, keeping his voice quiet. “Do you want to eat something before you lay down?”

You shook your head. “I don’t really have an appetite.”

“I understand. I’d like you to try and eat a little something, though, just so the medicine doesn't make you sick. How about some soup?”

You looked up at him. “Can you do the spinach and rice one Jake makes?”

He nodded slowly. “Uh... yes. I think so.” You laughed when he pulled out his phone to ask his brother for the recipe.

He pressed a kiss to your hair. “Let me go get it cooking,” he said. “You enjoy your bath.”

You gratefully sank into the warm water, letting it soothe your aches until you felt all jellied and tired. Still, you were reaching the edge of your tolerance for the consistent pain; you knew the Tylenol had to be kicking in soon, but until it did, you were steadily getting more outdone with feeling so miserable. You hardly spoke when Josh came to help you out and brought you warm pajamas, and he watched you with worry as he steered you to the couch.

You winced when the pain spiked suddenly. “Oh my god, ow.”

Josh pulled back from you. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No. My stupid ear.” You gingerly pressed your hand to it, close to tears with frustration and discomfort. You looked pitifully up at him. “It hurts, Joshy.”

“I know, baby,” he said gently. “I’m sorry. What can I do?”

You shook your head, unable to think of anything, even if there was anything he could do. He just pulled you close and held you in a safe, steady hug, and it was exactly what you needed.

“My sweet baby,” he said softly. “I’m so sorry you’re hurting.”

A few tears spilled over, and you buried your face against his chest.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” you said in a small voice.

“Honey,” he soothed. “You’re welcome. You don't have to thank me. I wish I could do more to help.”

You hugged him tighter, resting in his warmth and closeness. “You’re perfect, Josh.”

He rested his head against yours and rocked you gently. “I love you, my sweet girl.”

When the uptick in pain finally subsided, maybe because the medicine had finally kicked in, you let yourself be settled on the couch in a nest of pillows. Josh covered you with every fuzzy blanket he could find until you were practically buried in them.

“Joshy,” you giggled. 

He smiled. “There’s that sweet laugh,” he said tenderly. “I missed it. What’s got you so tickled?”

You tried to lift your arms under the blankets. “I’m gonna be trapped in here.”

He chuckled. “It’s my master plan. Keep you wrapped up in blankets so you can never escape me.”

“I don’t want to escape you.”

“Just making sure.” He held your face in his hands and gave you kiss after kiss after kiss, each one sweet and gentle and joyful. “I love you very much, you know.”

You gave him a bashful smile. “Yeah, I know.”

You had dinner — Josh had replicated Jake’s recipe perfectly, which he insisted was thanks to his twin’s detailed instructions — and watched the documentary about the recording of ‘We Are The World’. The two of you spent a while listing people you wanted in your supergroup to play with Greta Van Fleet.

“I want Noah Kahan and Gregory Alan Isakov,” you said.

Josh nodded sagely. “I see the vision. We should get Labi Siffre too.”

“Can we go back in time and get John Denver?” you asked.

He smiled. “Yes. I’m making that executive decision. Because I want to grab the original lineup of Fairport Convention.”

“So... we’re doing a folk rock version, then?”

He hummed in agreement. “And we make friends with everybody, and it’s the number one single in the world, and it’s your favorite song that we’ve ever done.”

You laughed and cuddled against him when he pulled you close.

He ran his hand up and down your arm. “I'm glad you’re feeling a little better, honey.”

You gave a contented sigh. “Me too.”

It had started to rain when you got home, and there was still a gentle, steady drumbeat on the roof that matched the hazy blue wash against your windows. Josh held you close and told you about what they’d worked on in the studio, and before long, the warmth of his voice and the sound of the rain worked as surely as a lullaby to pull you towards sleep.

Josh brushed his thumb over your cheek. “You’re so beautiful, baby,” he said softly.

You tilted your face up for a kiss, and he obliged you. He was all love and gentleness and warmth, as he always was, and you melted into his touch.

“You love me lots, don’t you?” you asked.

“Yes, baby. Lots and lots.”

“Oh good,” you said, cosy and sleepy and content in the safety of his arms. “I love you lots too.”

gvf taglist:@malany-gvf@spark-my-nature@eearevee@madneedshelp@demonrat444@josh-iamyour-mama@honeyandsweettae@mydarlingdanny@gretavandann@sacredjake@myleftsock@joshskittytickler21@hellowgoodbye@watchingovergvf2@fearfulspirit@mywaysoon@carbondancingthroughtime@caprisunsister@eraofstardustchords@sacredthefran@shesawomaninadream@serendipiti@demonrat444@wildflowerxx-x@tearsofdanny@iluvjoshkiszka@jordie-gvf-admin@demolitionndann@hi-hi-hello11@wildbluesorbit@nessie-glorpa@laneygvf @jazzyfigz @musicspeaks @amythestars @missharvestmoon @readyforthegarden

“Come on, Rosie bug, it’s time for your walk.” Sam stood up from the sofa, raising his arm for a stretch.

Being the good girl that she is, Rosie was already waiting patiently at the door, sitting still while Sam put the harness and leash on her.

It was a sunny afternoon, warm and cloudless after consecutive days of rain. Taking advantage of the delightful weather, Sam decided to extend their daily walk and take Rose to the park. He has always loved this park. There’s just something so intimate about this public space that always draws him towards it. It is situated a few blocks away from downtown, a beautiful getaway from the hurly burly of the city. It has a large lawn area that turns into the most pleasant shade of green in April, around his birthday. The colour so lovely that it gives him the urge to touch the grass, hug a tree, and nuzzle his face into nature. It is also the best place to people-watch—college lovebirds, laughing toddlers, family picnics—it is like being in one of Georges Seurat’s paintings.

It seems that many people think the same way as Sam. The park was busier than usual. The duo took their familiar route, following the gravel path to the fountain where the running tracks start. They would take a break on the bench where Rose can enjoy some treats.

Sam has done a good job socializing Rose due to the need for frequently traveling on the road. Rose is a curious girl and is open to making new friends, but she always listens to Sam. When other dogs pass by either barking over-excitedly or stopping to exchange friendly sniffs, Rose generally remains unfazed. She knows that remaining her composure and staying close to Sam is going to warrant some loving pets and yummy treats. Therefore, when a black and white Pit Bull trotted up to Rose, Sam didn’t pay too much attention. The dogs are all on leashes in this area. If any of them stop for a little longer, Sam will usually exchange a friendly smile with the owner, then each side will go about their own business. However, Rose seemed to be especially interested in this new friend. She stood up and started wagging her tail softly, gently bumping nose with her newfound friend, learning their smell and demeanour. That’s when Sam noticed that this dog looked a little special. Instead of the common collar, it was wearing a blue bandana with the word “adopt” printed on the corner. Sam followed the leash and looked all the way up. He saw a pretty girl looking down at the two dogs interacting with a mesmerizing smile.

Sensing his gaze, the girl quickly looked up.

“Oh hi, so sorry about this. Klaus is a shelter dog; he doesn’t get to interact with other dogs a lot, so he got a bit excited.” She said apologetically.

Ah, so that explains the bandana.

Now it seemed that Klaus took an interest in Sam as well. Considering his lack of socialization, Sam thinks Klaus is doing exceptionally well. He was sniffing Sam’s jeans, nudging his ankles with his nose.

“No, no, don’t worry. I don’t mind.” Sam bent down and extended the back of his hand to Klaus. After receiving a lick and some kisses as signs of approval, he started scratching Klaus behind the ears. “I’m Sam, and this is Rose.”

“Nice to meet you, Sam. I’m y/n,” y/n said before crouching down. Rose immediately moved towards her and started pawing her hand.

One thing Sam loves the most about Rose is that she has good taste in people. Come on, this girl chose Sam to be her handler. (Sam has always believed that it is Rose who came to him, not the other way around.) And based on Rose’s reaction now, Sam would like to boldly assume that y/n is a decent person as well.

“Come on, Klaus, let’s go.” y/n gently tugged the leash, but she was completely ignored. The two dogs were already playing together, bowing and bouncing just like puppies.

“They can play for a bit,” Sam said. He loves seeing Rose Bud making friends. “If you are not in a rush, that is.”

“No, I’m not. Thank you so much,” y/n relented.

“So, Klaus is a shelter dog, you said?” Sam asked as he scooted over and let out more space on the bench for y/n to sit next to him.

“Yes, today is his Doggy Day Out,” y/n kindly explained. “People can sign up to take a shelter dog out for a ‘field trip’ for a day. It helps them manage kennel stress and increases their chances of getting adopted.”

The thoughtfulness of the idea makes Sam smile. He has heard about similar programs before, but this was his first time encountering an example in real life. “So you chose Klaus?”

“Yeah, Klaus is one of the longest residents at the shelter.” y/n cupped the dog’s adorable face in her hands and cooed. “I mean, look at his face, how could I say no? Besides, people often have a misunderstanding about Pit Bulls, you know, about them being aggressive and all; so it’s harder for them to get adopted.”

As absurd as it sounds, that is sadly the truth. Sam remembers seeing more than once those distasteful comments under Rose’s account.

“Indeed. Sometimes we truly don’t deserve dogs.” He said.

A comfortable silence draped over them, except it was quite loud in y/n’s mind and chest right now. Y/n had been stealing glances at the man next to her in between conversations the whole time and she hoped she wasn’t being too obvious. There was no denial that Sam is outright gorgeous. He was wearing a navy blue t-shirt underneath an unbuttoned black plaid shirt, black pants, and a pair of Nike blazers. But what attracted her the most was his hair, the hair that suddenly made her self-conscious about her own (which really needed to get washed today). Sam has dark brown hair the length to his shoulder. The loose curls look lush and smooth, shining under the sunlight, which makes it a lighter flax colour. The strands that frizzes away are delicate and golden, swaying along with his breathing. Y/n bet they are silky and soft to the touch too. Plus, he has really pretty hands, with the pink leash wrapped around his palm contrasting against his olive skin. Slim, bony fingers, with nails that are clean, round and well-trimmed. Those are hands well-kept.

Maybe there is a grain of truth to what people say about first impression after all, Sam thought. A girl with Rose’s approval, a nice smile, and a sensible and tasteful take on Pit Bulls (She also looks cute). Sam thinks he quite liked her.

“So, what are your plans for the day? I mean, for Klaus?” Sam quickly corrected himself to sound less snoopy.

“We haven’t left the shelter for long. I was planning on getting him a pup cup first.”

“Pup cup! What a coincidence, that’s exactly what Rose bug and I have in mind,” (Liar. He didn’t). Sam put on his best smile. “Mind if we join you?”

Their conversation carried on smoothly as they made their way to the nearby bakery. Sam found out that y/n volunteers at the local shelter and works as a freelance photographer and a part-time dog walker. Y/n learned that Sam is a bassist and keyboard player who is in a band with his brothers (“That explains the pretty fingers,” Y/n thought to herself).

The bakery is a hidden gem in the neighbourhood, with a walk-up window inlaid into the white brick wall. A blackboard with cursive chalk writing was propped up beside it, displaying the menu. A separate hand-drawn poster on the wall sayid “puppuccino available for furry friends” in brush lettering.

“Do you want anything? My treat,” Sam asked as they approached the queue. “Please say yes so I have an excuse to ask for your number just in case you want to return the favour sometime.”

A bold move? Yes. But he felt like taking chances today.

Y/n raised her eyebrows in slight surprise. Sam held her gaze, silently restating his point.

“Fine, if you insist.”

“I do insist.” Sam stepped aside as it was their turn to order and let y/n go first. “After you.”

That’s smooth. Real Smooth. Y/n thought. Almost as smooth as his hair.

For the next few weeks, Sam and y/n has been talking on and off through text messages. Their chat history was mainly composed of Sam sending goofy dog videos and y/n replying with cute pictures she took of dogs at the shelter. Sometimes Sam spotted y/n holding multiple leashes, walking dogs on the sidewalk, and sometimes he went to the shelter under the excuse of dropping off donations just to see her. Occasionally, they would fix a date to meet at the park for a “puppy play date” when y/n took another dog on their Doggy Day Out. While the dogs rolled together or chased each other within their sight, they would sit on the bench with coffee cups in their hands and a box of cookies between them to share. Y/n found Sam to be a charming guy. She loves his brutal honesty and his humour with a witty tongue. He loves to hold her gaze while talking to her. At first, she hated it—the unrelenting stare from those captivating brown eyes makes her want to squirm in her seat—and Sam was never the first to break eye contact. But over time she had learnt to stare back nonchalantly, usually with a single raise of her eyebrow.

There was no lack of vocal banters as well, which usually embarks after one of them blurts out some controversial opinion. With some people, a debate over things like if pineapple belongs on pizza or should you pour milk before cereal can quickly lead to annoyances, but it’s different with Sam. Sam brings out the competitiveness in y/n just like she was back in her high school debate club. Backchat with Sam is fun; he makes one willing to takes all the steps—from gathering evidence to forming thesis statement—just to be rebutted by a single line of his ingenious comment; and y/n is not even mad about it. The cherry on top is that Sam always likes to push one step further by adding the flirtatious “What now, little mama, cat caught your tongue?”. She feels offended in the best possible way.

On the other hand, as composed as he seems to y/n, Sam feels that things always came out of his mouth without filters when he is with y/n. For example, he will never let go of that one time they argued about the right way to hang up toilet paper.

“It’s obviously under! Have you ever had times when you hang it over and it unrolls itself and you get this massive pile of toilet paper on the floor?”

“No, Sam, I have not. I’m pretty sure that’s because you got a bad roll or some mean spirit in your bathroom pulled it.”

“It’s a perfect roll, just out of the package!”

“Then it’s definitely some mean spirit. Burning some sage should fix it. Obviously, the correct way is over so that it doesn’t rub against the wall.”

“Bold of you to assume I have dirty walls!”

“How do I know? You probably do!”

“I will not stand any defamation to my name and my wall. You can only form such an opinion after you have checked it out!”

Y/n gave him an interesting look. Just before she could say something, Rose rushed back to their side, and for once, Sam was relieved that the debate withered away because as soon as those words left his mouth, he wanted to slap himself.

Why would you say that, you freaking idiot? What kind of activities should you be engaging in that will lead to a situation involving you showing her the cleanness of your bathroom wall, which unfortunately is, in fact, kind of gross and stained with flashed pee?

But fate is a fickle little thing. Little does Sam know, it was not long before they did end up in that situation, just not in the way as he has expected.

Earlier that day, Sam has sent y/n a message asking if she wants to meet at the park the next day and received a brief message that reads, “Sorry, got caught up at the shelter”.

That is usually a bad sign because it means that there’s either a large intake or some kind of emergency. Y/n also ran a volunteer social media account, posting adorable pictures and short videos that she took of the dogs when she takes them out for a walk for temperament tests, adding visibility to help they find a loving home. Sam vaguely remembered y/n mentioning that they took in a puppy that was hit by a car. He secretly hoped it wasn’t any bad news. Sam debated between sending her a goofy dog meme with the caption “Take care” to lighten up the mood or asking further. He waited, but the three dots on the other side of the chat box never came up.

It was around nine in the evening when Sam received another text from y/n.

Y/n: Are you busy right now?

Sam: No, just chilling. What’s up?

Y/n: My car broke down.

The three dots are still blinking when Sam’s finger flew through the screen.

Sam: location?

Sam: I’ll be there.

Rose looked up confused from her spot on the couch, when Sam rushed to the foyer, one arm already in his jacket and stuffing his feet into shoes.

“Hold the fort, Rose bud!” He yelled before locking the door behind him.

Y/n’s car broke down not too far away from the shelter. Sam saw the tow truck and the roadside assistance as he drove near. Y/n was talking to the truck driver. From the distance, she looked so forlorn and lost under the jarring redness of warning lights. The size different between her and the heavyset man towering over her makes her looked like a puppy soaked in rain. Sam had never felt such a strong sense of protectiveness towards anyone. He wanted nothing more than to rush to her side and engulf her in a hug, if she would let him.

He almost drifted as he swerved his car into an empty parking space by the side of the road. He ran to y/n’s side.

“Okay, Miss. The insurance company will contact you for further details,” the roadside assistance worker nodded to y/n. “The truck will tow your car to the garage. Do you have a ride home?”

“Yes,” said Sam before y/n could answer.

The man gave him a knowing look before he said, “Good. Make sure you take all your valuable belongings in the car with you.”

Sam helped y/n put her stuff in the backseat of his car before opening the passenger side’s door for her. Sam had noticed that y/n’s body was stiff and tense the whole time when she was standing outside, and it remained so as she plopped down onto the seat.

“Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” Sam turned to her eagerly once he had situated himself.

As soon as the words left his lips, the dam broke loose. Y/n’s shoulder visibly relaxed as loud sobs ripped through her body. She tried to purse her lips and contain herself but tragically failed. For a minute, she couldn’t make a single syllable other than frantically shaking her head and shoving her hands to her mouth, trying to muffle her crying. Y/n’s whimper filled the car, mixed with the loud beeping alert and yelling outside as the truck towed y/n’s car away.

“Oh, y/n,” Sam felt like someone had stamped on his heart. “Can I give you a h—”

Without a word, y/n almost knocked herself into his arms. It was only when he was holding her that he realized how badly she was trembling. This is their first proper hug, far from how Sam has imagined it. He wrapped his arms around y/n’s frame, one hand hugging her shoulders to him and the other rubbing her hand in wide, gentle stripes, tucking her head under his chin. Y/n’s hand held onto Sam’s arm, fingers digging into his biceps like a drowning person holding onto a piece of driftwood. Sam was firstly relived that y/n was not physically hurt; and then there were the emotions, which they could deal with. Whatever made her this devastated, he was determined to turn it around and make it better.

They stayed like that for a while, bodies squishing together uncomfortably over the middle console, until Y/n finally started to calm down.

She pulled away from Sam’s hug. Sam immediately reached to the backseat for the tissue box, from which y/n took a handful of tissues and turned her head to the side to wipe her face.

“It…it was Huxley,” she was fighting to speak without breaking down again. “He’s g—gone.”

Upon hearing the name, Sam’s heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach. His former wish had fallen through after all. Huxley was the puppy that came to the shelter from a car accident. He was sent in by a Good Samaritan on Monday. From the photo y/n posted, Sam knew that he was a young Australian cattle dog. Sam thought he was out of danger as y/n updated the post on Tuesday, saying that there was a rescue willing to pull him.

Sam didn’t press on with further questions. He sat patiently, handing y/n more tissues as she needed and waited to piece together the story from snatches of her speech.

“They did an x-ray and found he has a fractured pelvis. A rescue tagged him…and he was supposed to l-leave the shelter today.”

“We thought he was f-fine until…until he suddenly deteriorated this a-afternoon. There was, um, internal bleeding and… the vet said, the in-injury was too serious to recover and, and s-suggested…”

It was taking all her strength for y/n to squeeze out the last few words: “…it…it was the kindest to..put him d-down.”

Y/n buried her face into her hands as she resorted to another burst of weeping. Her shoulders shuddered with every muffled sob. “He reminded me of Wendy…I couldn’t save n-neither of them!”

This was the first time Sam has heard about Wendy from y/n. He guessed that Windy used to belong to y/n. He had once saw a photo of y/n and a white puppy tucked in her wallet when she was paying for coffee. Y/n never talked about it and Sam never asked. He decided he was still going to be silent about it today. He wouldn’t want to force her to narrate whatever tragic event that had happened in the past again, knowing that she probably had already done it to herself over and over again in her brain upon seeing the loss of Huxley.

Sam mulled over his words. Platitudes like “you have already done your best” sounded superfluous. Y/n, and he believes that everyone at the shelter, did everything they could; but that doesn’t fix things, does it?

“Was he loved when he was gone?” Sam gently took y/n’s hand in his.

“I was too coward to stay until the last moment,” y/n looked at Sam through teary eyes, “and he couldn’t really stomach any food by then. But yes, we made sure he was surrounded by treats and toys.”

“Then that’s what matters,” Sam managed a smile and said softly. “Dogs are very grateful creatures, you know that. Now that Huxley has crossed the rainbow bridge, he must be thanking you for loving him to the end, to provide him with a warm bed so he didn’t have to go alone and scared on the side of some highway.”

Y/n’s was still hiding her face in her palms, with her elbows resting on her knees, but Sam recognized a trembling nod from her. Now he felt tears stinging in his own eyes. He rubbed the area between y/n’s shoulder blades and carefully opened his mouth: “Look, y/n. I don’t want to sound like I’m taking advantage of the situation. But I am really worried about leaving you alone for the night like this. Would you like to perhaps crash at my place for the night? Rosie can keep you company.”

“Let me take care of you.” Sam closed his eyes for a second before he added, “As a friend?”

To his relief, y/n nodded again before turning her head slightly to face him, revealing half of her face, all wrinkled with red marks and tear stains, her eyes bloodshot and glassy.

“Sorry for being a bother.” She whispered through quivering lips.

“Never. Never a bother, mama,” Sam’s heart clenched again, hard. He reached out and gently squeezed the back of y/n’s neck before starting the car. “I got you.”

Y/n could hear Rosie’s claws clacking on the wooden floor before Sam turned the key in the lock. As he opened the door, they are welcomed by an excited Rosie, just as expected. Sam had taught Rosie well not to bolt towards guests or jump on them, so she was expressing her joy through a wagging tail that put her whole body into motion and repeated bowing; her pink tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth. The goofy gestures raised a chuckle out of y/n. The first smile that he had seen on her face all night.

Sam’s apartment is cozy and vibrant. It has rustic brick walls and exposed beams. A red oriental rug lies in the middle of the room in front of a light camel-coloured sofa. There are touches here and there where Sam lets his intrusive thoughts win—so a piece of decor that does not match the general style appears but ends up working nonetheless, such as the banana leaf wall paper that only covers one side of the wall. A long-neck floor lamp throws warm glow over half of the living room.

“Go sit, y/n. Make yourself at home. You want some tea?” Sam laid out a pair of slippers for her as he asked.

Y/n had half a heart to reject out of politeness but realized she was too tired to put on any facade, and it is unnecessary after all considering she had just bawled her eyes out before Sam. Her eyes were stinging from crying and her face must have looked like a mess now.

“Thank you. Can I borrow the bathroom, please?”

“Of course! It’s right there.” Sam pointed her the right door.

Closing the door behind her, y/n felt like her legs were about to gave out. She sat down on the closed toilet lid and closed her eyes, thoughts swarming in her mind. Now that the initial throbbing pain in her chest has subsided, she began interrogating herself. What was it that made her agree to stay here overnight? “Worry about leaving you alone”….You are used to being alone—heck, you have been for years. All the past experiences and rational judgements were reprimanding her in a motherly tone with a scowl, but her body was faithful to the ghostly touches and phantom breaths that he had left on her skin during their hug. She forgot when was the last time that she had received a hug that conveyed such empathy without blind assumption. She forgot when was the last time that she felt valid for her feeling sad and mourning. She forgot when was the last time that she was not forced to explain. Yet Sam came and reset the record for her.

Three gentle knocks on the door interrupted her thoughts.

“Yes?”

“I grabbed you a clean towel. I’m putting it on the handle, so just watch it when you open the door.” Sam’s voice came from the other side of the door.

Oh Sammy, Y/n thought to herself with a wry smile. The nickname naturally slips into her mind. This is not helping.

What it is about this man that makes you trust him enough to break down in front of him and then agree to stay at his place overnight? Was it because he was nice to dogs? Green flag. Nice hair and clean nails, perfect side profiled, chiseled like an Apollo statue? Green flag. Top tier banter and flirting? Beige flag (but has potential).

Her brain started hurting again. Her heart said fuck it, go wipe your face, drink tea, and pray that he’s not a patient serial killer three months in disguise who likes to collect dog memes. Y/n opened her eyes and the first thing she saw brought an untimely giggle out of her.

Toilet paper hanging from under? Red flag.

When y/n opened the bathroom door again, Sam was feeding Rose her dinner.

“There you are! Thought you fell in.” Sam looked up at her with a toothy grin.“Sorry,” he apologized for his joke before y/n even said anything. “I made you tea, I guess you haven’t eat yet? I can order takeout or whip something up real quick.”

“That’s very nice of you, Sam. But I really don’t think I can handle a meal right now. Tea will be just fine for me. Thank you.”

Y/n must have washed her face in the washroom. Now her face looked fresh, setting off her reddish nose which she rubbed a little too harshly. The bags under her swollen eyes made her looks droopy, much different from the energetic y/n under the sun in the park. She looked very….huggable.

Y/n took a sip from the mug Sam handed her. It’s lavender tea. She felt her nerves slowly stretched as the warm liquid slid into her stomach. Having finished her dinner, Rose wasted no time joining them on the sofa. She found the perfect spot between Sam and y/n, laying her head on her folded paws.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

“Um-hmm,” y/n absent-mindedly hummed. “You take the pick.”

Absolutely nothing furry, nothing barking, nothing wagging its tail. Sam scrolled through the catalogue.

Y/n raised her eyebrows when she saw Sam finally settling on Vanderpump Rules.

“Surprised?”

“Surprised, amused, guilty as charged.” Y/n admitted.

“No way! Which season are you on?”

“Seven? I can’t remember much though.”

Sam couldn’t deny it, there’s just something about watching and becoming invested in other people’s cheating drama that gets you to forget about your own problems real fast, at least temporarily. When one of the girls made an especially spiteful comment and Sam got no reaction from y/n, he turned and saw her dozing off, her chin rested on her clavicle, one hand still resting on Rose’s back.

She’s bound to get a stiff neck sleeping that way. Sam gently pulled her shoulder to the side, resting her head on a cushion, and pulled the blanket over her. Other than making a few indistinguishable murmur, she didn’t stir; or if she did, she chose to relent to Sam’s touch. Now that her eyes were closed, she looked peaceful under the orange light of the lamp, one almost couldn’t tell she was crying so hard a few hours ago. Sam debated if he should carry her to the bedroom or at least wake her up, but in the end, he did neither. Instead, he sat down on the carpet, his side pressed against the sofa, putting his head on his elbow.

Whatever this is, it fels tranquil and nice. She is close and far, her silence remote and candid, still as a star*. It feels like love. He feels his heart heavy with love. She doesn’t know. Maybe she will, eventually. But not now. Now he just wants to have this moment, in case it is all he will ever have.

Y/n is woken up by the wetness of her face. “Rose, stop!” She managed to open her eyes under Rose’s kiss attack. She propped herself up on her elbow and saw Sam sitting on the floor next to her, still asleep. But that changed quickly as he became Rose’s next target. Did he just sleep all night like this? The light seeping through the curtains formed bright patters on the floor. Gosh, she must be really tired to sleep so soundly on the sofa.

“Morning.” Y/n pursed her lips, containing a chuckle as she met gaze with a hair-disheveled Sam, who was holding the side of his neck, grimacing.

Sam felt every single bone in his body crackling as he stood up. Actions have consequences.

The drive back to Y/n’s house was quiet. Y/n thanked him for letting her stay overnight, which he insisted that was no big deal. Then he cranked up the radio and let Stephen Stills take over.

“Thank—-”

“I swear, if you thank me again—-”

They almost said together as the car pulled up to a halt in front of y/n’s apartment.

Y/n smiled apologetically nonetheless.

“Hey, like I said, it’s really no big deal. It wasn’t so courteous of me not to offer you dinner and let you sleep on the couch anyway,” Sam said. “I am very sorry about what has happened. I hope you are feeling better now.”

Y/n chewed on her bottom lip and nodded. It was after several heartbeats that she said, “You know, your bathroom walls are dirty, Kiszka.”

Sam blinked and then barked out a laugh, throwing his hands in surrender. “Guilty as charged.”

“Call me if you need anything, yeah?” Sam watched as y/n unbuckled the seatbelt. He could tell that for a second, y/n was going to thank him again.

“I’m not guilt tripping you into this, but…the offer to co-dog walk always stands.”

“Sure. I’ll let you know.”

“Oh, and one more thing,” Y/n paused as she shut the door.

“Hug Rosie extra tight for me.” With that, she turned on her heels and walked away.

It was three days later that they met again at the park. The weather was starting to get cold. Sam would always choose the vivifying spring days over fall, but he also appreciates some delicious crunching of the leaves as one walks.

“I can really tell the season is changing when the benches feel a bit cold under the tush.” Sam commented as he sat down next to y/n.

“Oh, do we have to get you padded pants then?”

“Seriously, do they make those?” Sam gasped in feigned surprise. “Anyways, how’s your car?”

“I got a call yesterday, it should be ready to pick up by Thursday,” Y/n said. She was chewing on the edge of her coffee cup. “I feel so stupid losing it like that the other day.”

“But you don’t have to, though. There’s nothing wrong about feeling things, and emotions don’t lie.”

“Yeah, I guess. But in the end it’s not about me, it’s about them. There’s always more dogs that need help and always more to do.”

“I know you said not to, but I really need to,” y/n said as she turned to Sam and threw her arms around him, catching him in surprise. “Thank you, Sammy.”

Sam couldn’t help but notice how nice it felt to have her nose buried in his shoulder. Talking about emotions don’t lie.

His hair smells nice too. And it is indeed so, so soft. Green flag.

Somehow, they fell back into the old rhythm after that. Sam guessed that when people say woman in a dream, they must be referring to their phantasmagoric nature. With each day passing, he became more and more inclined to believe that what he thought he had was nothing more than wishful thinking and self-deception.

Christmas was approaching. Their brother’s lack of contribution to the holiday preparation did not go unnoticed by the twins. Jake was first to approach Sam, saving Josh as the last resort. Although Jake doubted if they would really need him.

“Sammy boy, what are you sulking about?” Jake sat down next to Sam, who was lying facedown on the carpet.

“M’not sulking,” Sam mumbled. “You just interrupted my perfect nap.”

“No shit, wonder if you can even breathe lying like that.” Jake nudged him in the ribs, earning himself a smack on the arm.

“Have you asked her out yet?”

“Who?”

“Quit playing with me, brother. You’ve been spending enough time at the shelter and the park that we thought Rosie was going to the big sis this time.”

Sam flipped over with a groan, his hand laying across his forehead. “No. I think she probably doesn’t feel that way, honestly.”

“Okay,” Jake rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “But how do you feel? Really smitten?”

“I don’t know,” Sam sighed. “You know the trend that goes, ‘one minute you are asking for her number, the next minute you are getting screamed at by her cat’? When I asked for her number, I was hoping so bad that we will be making advent calendar for our dogs every year.”

“Damn.” For a moment, Jake was struck by the weight of that statement; its authenticity and spontaneity echoed in the air.

“You really got some of Josh’s romantic shit, huh?”

“Don’t act like you haven’,.” Sam rolled his eyes. Jake couldn’t argue with that.

“Look, I knew you will tell her eventually. Come on, don’t give me that look. We both know that you will. But this is not like some assignment where you can just keep putting off until all the points have been abducted.”

“You have my permission to take the day off. But you better be making it up to me once you’ve got her. Do you have any idea how painful it is to untangle four strands of those lights? My fingers deserve better than that.”

Sam shot his elder brother a plaintive look. Jake raised his eyebrows provocatively, but the genuine encouragement still shone through.

“Just get your ass up already, kid.”

Sam was going to see y/n that day anyway. The shelter was doing Christmas dinner for the animals and y/n had texted him earlier asking if he wanted to come help. The shelter around Christmas looked like a kindergarten. Garlands and ribbons hung from the ceiling. Cheerful Christmas carols played through the announcement speakers. Even the bulletin board were updated with the animals’ intake pictures with their new Christmas photoshoots.

“Y/n is at the big dog kennel in the back.”

The round-faced woman at the front desk warmly greeted Sam as she recognized him. He had been a regular; the staff had naturally associated him with y/n and had been secretly calling him the sexy Tarzan*. (Y/n burst out laughing when she first heard that nickname; she couldn’t deny the resemblance is uncanny.)

Sam wasn’t sure how he was going to do this. Yes, he was going to wing it but it’s not like he could just blurt it out. The place started to smell like food as Sam passed the reception area. He found y/n and her colleagues standing in the meet-and-greet area around a table full of buckets and a crock pot with the largest turkey he had ever seen. Y/n waved him in as she saw him.

“Thanks for coming! We’re about to start.” Y/n handed him an apron.

“There are separate bucket for veggies, meat, and broth. You just grab some from each into the bowl and pass it down, Sally and Theo will squeeze in the yogurt and puree, add the dry treats…and a bowl is done!” Y/n walked him around the table as they went through each step.

“This feels like I’m at a poke station.” Sam chuckled.

“It is, special Christmas edition.”

Suddenly, Sam felt more at ease. He was grateful that y/n volunteers at the shelter. It’s at least comforting to think that he would have nearly a hundred flurry friends as his wingman.

They walked down the corridor, stopping at each kennel, opening the door and sliding in the bowl. Some dogs were more timid and nervous, huddling in the corner and coming up to the food when they were left alone. Y/n made sure to skip those ones a few more beef jerky. But most of them were already wagging their tails like windshield wipers in heavy rain, waiting impatiently at the front of their kennel.

It took them nearly an hour going through the whole the dog area before the empty cart was wheeled back to the preparation room.

“They have special food for the smaller animals like the rabbits as well. But, by far, our job here is completed. Well done, soldier!” Y/n untied her apron and threw in onto the table.

“Are you doing anything after?” Y/n asked.

“No, not really. Why?” Upon hearing that question, hope and anxiety bubbled together in Sam’s stomach.

“I could treat you to a coffee for helping out today, or perhaps hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate sounds great.”

“Awesome, you’re in for a treat. I know a place that makes bomb hot cocoa.”

It was snowing heavily when they stepped out. The ground is already covered in a thin white layer. The snow was coming down thick and fast, Sam could hear it falling onto the crisp fabric of his jacket. They walked along the side road. The sky was already dark, making the snowflakes dancing under the streetlights all the more obvious. The cars passing by, their tires rolling over the splashing snow, made sounds like someone stirring the repeatedly pushing the buttons of a a fountain drink machine. As nice as it was, Sam soon realized his mistake of forgetting to wear gloves when he headed out. It was strange how he seldom felt cold amid the big snowfalls, it’s always the coldest the day before. It was always the build up.

“So….do you have any plans for Christmas?”

“Oh, yeah I do. I am going to this awesome party. I'm going to dance, have fun, raid the charcuterie board, get shit-face drunk, and then crawl back home. Giving the weather we are having now, I’m probably going to slip and fall, break my face on the sidewalk, and lay there unconsciously until some hobo finds me and steals my purse, but all he is going to find are handfuls of puke that I threw up earlier,” y/n finished with a mischievous smile. “How does that sound?”

Sam was speechless for a few seconds. “I’m only with you on the ‘raiding the charcuterie board’ part.” He finally said.

“Always appreciate a good humour, Kiszka.”Y/n threw back her head and laughed. “I’m messing with you. Quite the opposite, I’m doing nothing. Probably still going to drink, but definitely no party.” She made a stank face.

Y/n has mentioned that she had just moved here not long ago. Sam never heard her mentioning much about her family, and he did not want to blindly assume.

“Do you want to come to mine for Christmas?”

“Crashing your family gathering as a stranger? That doesn’t sound like a very courteous thing to do.” Y/n replied.

Sam tried to focus his sight on the tip of his shoes. Just say it already. He was suddenly afraid to look to y/n. It feels better just to hear the rejection, not to face it head on, right? And could they still have hot chocolate after this? He could really use one now.

“Well, wouldn’t be weird if you were going as my girlfriend,” he finally said.

It was taking everything in Sam to hold his gaze on y/n. He saw her head shot right up. Beneath the initial shock, Sam couldn’t quite figure out the emotion hiding in her eyes. It’s always the build up. Always the build up. But now that the cat is out of the bag, he might as well just spill it out.

“I think I really like you, y/n.”

A smile crept up onto the corner of y/n’s mouth, and Sam saw it grew to a grin.

“Are you cold?” she asked.

“Hum?” That was not what he was expecting. But he appreciated a question, any question, to redirect the attention from the….previous embarrassment.

“Did you forget your gloves?” It was only then that Sam realized that he has subconsciously managed to snake his hands into the opposite sleeves of his jacket and fold his arms in front of his chest in order to warm up his hands.

“Yes, and my fingers are freezing off,” he said through gritted teeth. “And I am dying of suspense and embarrassment.”

Unexpectedly, y/n sighed and took off one of her own gloves. “There’s no need to feel embarrassed,” she said as she pried Sam’s right hand out of his sleeve and delicately stuck his stiff fingers into the glove, as if caring for newborn ducklings.

“It feels kind of good to see even Mr. ‘beat-me-in-every-banter’ at a loss for witty comments when it comes to feelings. Just proves we’re all human, doesn’t it?” She then took Sam’s other hand into her own and placed them into the pocket of her coat.

“There. See how much better it is if we simply express ourselves?”

Sam could feel y/n’s thumb brushing his numb muscles. “I may not be the best person to lecture you on this because, well, I myself have done a pretty lousy job at it too. But, I can try to improve, as your girlfriend.”

“Can you give me the chance to try?”

Oh god, now she’s asking me.

“My honour, y/n,” Sam felt like he could breathe again. And his quick wit returned. “One thing is not true though.”

“What?” Y/n asked as they continued to walk.

“I didn’t beat you to every banter. I lost in the toilet paper one.”

Y/n raised her eyebrows in amusement.

“I guess you were right. I called a truce with my bathroom ghost the other day.”

A man who is not afraid to confess his feelings and admit when he is wrong? Green flag.

Easter Egg

Y/n did end up attending the Kiszka’s Christmas gathering as Sam’s girlfriend. Jake was smug about it the whole time (“Told you we don’t need Josh”.) He determined that Sam owed him big time and demanded that he repays him by taking down the Christmas tree and and moving it up to the attic after the holidays are over.

Of all, Rose was more than thrilled to have her over because y/n came bearing special gift for her.

“I brought dog beer.” Y/n said proudly.

“You brought what?”

“Dog beer!” y/n laughed, showing the package of four cans. “It’s just unsalted bone broth with oat and barley.”

“Shame on you for leading Rose bug down this dangerous path!” Sam pretended to be annoyed but was already reaching for Rose’s water bowl.

“Come on, Rose’s a good girl, she can handle it. Plus, she is under parental supervision.” y/n said as she popped open a can.

“Oh, is that what we are now, ‘mummy’? Dog parents?” Sam looked smug.

As Rose happily lapped up her new beverage, y/n affectionately patted her on the neck: “And you always remember, Rosie girl, beers over boys. Well, I guess your daddy can make an exception but… ‘a healthy amount of beer over any contact with boys*’”.

*1: adapted from I Like For You To Be Still by Pablo Neruda

*2: it is from here (once you see it, you can't unsee it lol

*3: a quote from one of my favourite Youtuber: Christines Snaps

Hey, you've made it!! thank you so much for reading!

here's something more I want to say.

Firstly, the two dogs mentioned are real dogs; sadly they have both crossed the rainbow bridge now. You can read more about them here: Klaus and Huxley. I changed Klaus' story here because I'd like to imagine that having pup cups, going on walks, and having fun with other dogs is the life that he should have been having before his life was unfairly taken away. And I want to honour Huxley. The inspiration for this piece came to me because I relay information for shelter dogs that are listed to be euthanized in high kill shelters. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see how many healthy dogs lose their life at no fault of their own. I have always believed in the power of writing; I myself have been healed by the writings of others in this community many times, and I would like to do something with my writing too. I hope to raise awareness through this piece: There are just too many homeless pups. Please spay and neuter- their lives depend on it; and if you ever want a pet, please always go to the local shelter and check out their euth-list. Saving one dog is not going to change the world, but for that dog, the world is changed forever.

Secondly, about the writing; this is my first time writing Sam and my longest piece. As many of you surely must have noticed there are some loose ends, I apologize. I was emotional while writing this and I dragged it out. Plus, I made the mistake of reading one of the most amazing fanfics ever while writing this. I became self-conscious and kind of defeated---emotions get in the way, so I think this is leaning more towards a cathartic experience. For those that have experienced the pet loss, I am sorry and I feel for you. Please know that they can always feel your love and you will meet one day at the rainbow bridge. I intend to dig into this piece further in the future: perhaps make some more changes and edits, perhaps writing some blurbs between this y/n and Sam. If you would like that, please let me know.

Lastly, sincerely thank you to @dannythedog for the gvf secret santa event. It may sound stupid but that event carried me through my finals and several mental breakdowns. It has not only helped me to connect with so many wonderful people in this fandom, but it has also encouraged me to write. I never would have thought picking up writing again would give me so much closure and comfort. Plus, she did an awesome pairing; I got one of my favourite writers here as my secret santa!! and I got to know Nina.

This is so much longer than I intended. If you have made it here, wow, I am giving you a big big hug. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my writings. I hope that there are many more to come.

More of my writings: Mariner's Complex || Permission to Fall || Ticked (all my boxes) || The Lucky Ones

The Kiszka's invited you over to their house for a sleepover. You had been best friends with the three brothers since elementary school, especially close with the youngest, Sam. They also invited one of their other relatively newer friends, Danny Wagner.

You arrived to their house, your overnight bag in hand.

The eldest brother, Josh, greeted you at the door with a hug.

"Get over here you guys! Y/N is here!" He shouted, waving his brothers over.

"Y/N!" Sam waved you inside and Jake took your bag from you. They walked you into the living room, Jake placing your bag next to the couch.

"I'm so glad you could make it, it's been so long since we had a sleepover." Sam patted your shoulder.

"Sam...I slept over here last weekend." You laughed into his arm.

A few moments after you had gotten settled and Danny arrived, you changed into your pajamas. You had brought light pink silk shorts and matching tank top.

You all gathered around the couch, just catching each other up on all you've missed within the few days you hadn't seen each other in. You noticed you kept catching glances with Sam. He particularly liked the pajamas you had changed into as his eyes kept gravitating towards them.

"Alright, who wants to set up the sleeping arrangements for tonight?" Josh clapped his hands together, standing up. "Danny can take the couch." He suggested, knowing that none of them knew him as well yet, and they all wanted him to be as comfortable as possible as a new guest.

"Mom said we can order a pizza so...I'll call?" Jake asked, picking up his phone from the side table.

"Pizza sounds great!" Danny chimed in.

You followed Sam over to the basket full of blankets.

Sam began to pile out the blankets one by one, making sure to take enough for everyone. "Are there enough blankets to go around?"

"Don't worry about me. I brought my own." Danny told him, pulling a blanket out of his duffel bag.

"I don't mind sharing one with you, Sam." You spoke up, and not realizing what you had said until you saw Sam's cheeks turn pink.

Jake and Josh both shot him a discreet smile, holding in their giggles. 

Josh sprawled out on the chaise lounge next to the couch and Jake left the room to order the pizza.

Sam rolled out a blanket across the carpet, crawling onto it. You crouched down next to him and set your pillow next to his.

"Y/N, braid my hair?" He asked, turning his back to you and shimmying his long brown hair out for you to style.

You took the three strands in your fingers and began to braid it. The way his soft and silky hair felt in between his fingers felt like heaven. You were honestly jealous of his shiny luscious locks.

Jake comes sauntering back into the room, plopping himself down on the rocking chair in the corner. "Pizza will be here in 20."

"Shall we put on a movie?" Josh drummed against his thigh before jumping up and running over to their DVD shelf. He scanned his finger over the various titles before coming across the perfect one. "Aha! Pitch Perfect!"

"Josh-" Jake tried to protest but trailed off, knowing his argument was basically useless. Josh would always have the first say and was putting the movie in before anyone else could interject.

Everyone got settled in their assigned sleeping arrangements. That was until the movie somehow eventually turned into a sing along, causing everyone to get up and attempting to recreate the performances in the living room.

It was of course mainly Josh who was carrying the performances.

Jake made sure to tell everyone that his singing along to Pitch Perfect that took place in the living room, had to stay in the living room.

"Josh, I think you could be one of the Treblemakers!" You nudged him as he began to sing the riff-off.

"You really think so?" He asked, clapping his hands along to the music.

…

Everyone sat around the floor in a circle, gossiping and joking around with each other. The night was going great and you didn't want it to end.

"Let's tell scary stories!" You suggested, hugging your pillow closer to your chest.

"Alright, alright. I got one." Sam put his arm out to gather everyone's attention. "One time there was a guy named Sam Kiszka-"

"Spooky." Jake interrupted.

"Dude, shut up." Sam whacked him with his pillow as you all erupted into laughter. "And he lived with a monster. His asshole brother named Jake Kiszka."

Everyone began cracking up and you noted that Sam had looked to you, probably to make sure that you had laughed at his tale.

"Sounds scary." Josh chimed in as he took a bite of his pizza.

"You got me." Jake said through a chuckle, running a hand through his hair.

"Let's do kiss, marry, kill!" Danny broke the laughter with a new suggestion.

"Hit me." Sam spoke up.

"Hmm..." Danny tapped his finger against his chin in deep thought. "Well, there's Y/N, Mia from math class...and uh...." He pauses and shrugs. "And Audrey?"

Sam takes out the Braid you had done for him, you knew he would always play with his hair when he was nervous. He runs a hand through his hair, his face reddening. "Let's see. I'd marry Y/N, obviously." He looks right into your eyes, a certain sparkle in his. "Kiss Mia, she's nice and gave me answers that one time. And kill Audrey. She was rude to Y/N in middle school. Plus, I'm not into the whole 'prom queen' type." He finishes confidently, receiving nods from the group.

You blush as your lips creep up into an uncontrollable smile. "Thanks, Sam." You comfortingly rubbed his knee. His eyes kept looking into yours and something transpired in that moment.

"Y/N's turn!" Danny pulls you out of the daydream as he turns to you.

You took a deep breath and readied yourself.

"Jake, Josh, Sam." He lists off.

"For starters I'd marry Sam." You looked into his eyes once more as a giggle escaped your lips. He was glad to see you reciprocate the gesture. "Kiss...Jake and...Kill Josh. Sorry Josh."

"No worries, I don't swing that way anyways." He jokes.

"Ooh! Let's play spin the bottle!" Danny suggests, which quickly gets shot down.

"Dude, no fucking way. Like, half of us are brothers." Jake reminds him.

"Oh." Danny quickly shakes off his suggestion, laughing when he realizes.

After a few more rounds of kiss, marry, kill everyone had grown quite tired but nobody wanted to go to bed just yet. It was becoming that part of the night where anything anyone said was hysterically funny when Jake suggested you all try your hand at making cookies.

Josh popped open a tube of cookie dough. "If we burn the house down moms gonna kill us!"

"We're not gonna burn the house down. Give it-" Jake pulled the dough out of Josh's hands which received an uproar of cackles from everyone else. "The peanut gallery over 'ere thinks the house is gonna burn down, do you hear him?" He looks to you, Sam, and Danny while pointing to his twin brother.

Sam swipes some cookie dough on his pointer finger, and approaches you. He pretends to boop your nose and then ultimately lets you lick the dough off his finger. It was a quick and goofy moment in passing, but you knew this would be a moment you would keep coming back to.

Everyone was almost on the floor in a fit of laughter by the time the sheet of cookies were finally put into the oven.

…

Everyone had retreated back into the living room, all getting settled back into their appointed spots for the night. Sam had put on another movie, but this time it was used mostly as background noise.

Within the next five minutes, the sounds of Josh's snores began to fill the air.

Jake groaned out of frustration. "Dude, wake up!" He waved a hand in front of his face, in hopes he would somehow wake up.

"It doesn't work that way, Jackass." Sam told him, standing up and marching over to the chaise lounge where Josh laid in.

He pushed his brother out of the way and began to shove Josh.

"Wake the fuck up Josh." Jake joined in on shoving his twin.

Josh snapped awake with a gasp. He looked around the room when he realized he had fallen asleep. "Fuck you guys." He mumbled before trailing off again.

"I think he's out." Danny told them, trying to keep the peace. "Leave him be. We can fend for ourselves without him."

Jake groaned and plopped himself down onto the chair.

The cookies ended up being burnt, you were only able to salvage bits and pieces.

"And Josh said we'd burn the house down. Yeah right." Jake chuckled. "And he's the one who's asleep. Hell, if it were up to him the house would be charred by now." He laughed, making everyone else join in.

Shortly after everyone had some of whatever pieces of cookie that weren't burnt, you all laid down for the night.

...

You were awoken in the middle of the night by Josh's snores once more. Sam's leg was tangled in yours. You adjusted your position to get more comfortable in an attempt to fall back asleep, but your stirring just causes Sam to wake up.

"Y/N? You awake?" He says in a light whisper.

"No." You whispered back.

"Really? Then who am I talking to?" He asks, jokingly.

"Not Y/N." You respond, looking over at him. The reflection of the moon in the window illuminating his face. He looked so gorgeous with the way his eyes glistening at you, the way his hair was sprawled out against his pillow. He looked like a perfect painting.

He sighs for a moment, a comfortable silence coming over the two of you. The only noise that can be heard being Josh's snores.

"Hey, if his snores are too distracting...what do you say we escape to my room?"

You nodded.

He didn't even need to hear you say the word before he was helping you up and padding up the stairs into his bedroom.

He plopped himself down on the bed, patting a spot across from him for you.

"Mom says we're not allowed to be in here alone, but I think this should be an exception." He smiles. "Anything to get away from Josh and his loud snores."

"Yeah, I think you're mom would rather have well rested kids than cranky, sleepy ones." You agreed with a nod.

His fingers danced over the back of your hand and he looked at you with stars in his eyes. Even thought you couldn't see the moon shining down into him  anymore, his eyes still shined like it.

"Sam..." you finally spoke with a bold amount of courage. "Did you really mean that? You would marry me? I know your options were limited in that round but, I just can't stop thinking that-"

"Yes. I would marry you every single time." He says, flipping your hand over so he can intertwine his fingers with yours. "My options don't have to be limited, because the only option I want is you. I meant it all."

"Oh, I'm so happy Sammy." You gleamed, bringing him into an embrace.

"Me too." He hugged you back, even going as far to kiss your forehead. "Can I tell you something?"

"Shoot."

"I was actually ecstatic when you offered to share a blanket with me." He beams. "I know it's silly but, it made me feel all warm inside, like butterflies and shit. I can't believe I'm saying this but...I like you, and I have since the day we met. It's cliché and all but, it's true."

"It's not silly, Sam. I don't know what came over me when I offered, but I'm glad I did."

"I'm glad you did too." He looks down in his lap then back up to you. "I remember the day at lunch in middle school, when Audrey..." he trails off, not wanting to bring back that a bad memory of yours and ruin the moment. "Yeah, well, I remember being so infuriated. I remember thinking 'this girl is one of a kind and this bitch is just going to say this terrible stuff about her?' and I was ready to fight for you. I think that was the day I realized I loved you. And that was only when I realized it. I've loved you since forever."

"I've loved you since forever, too."